08x10 - Where's Poppa?

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ Then suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪♪

So, there you are.

Andy: sorry I'm
late, beverly ann.

Um, I'm short, and I
have to take 2 steps

For every one step a
normal person takes.

Do you buy that?

Uh, no, but that's
ok. I managed.

We only had about 70 customers.

That's why I was late.

I had no place to
park my jaguar.

They were all on a bus.

Tourists from the
ukraine, I think it was.

They go crazy for
anything american.

I sold them jelly bellies,

Bumper stickers...

Jo's term paper.

I thought it was just a binder.

Oh, no problem, beverly ann.

The bus couldn't have been
more than 20 blocks away.

Oh, good.

Don't get me wrong, tootie.

I thought you were
great in rehearsal.

Great? Blair, I was compelling.

I got that role because of
my broad emotional range,

My sensitive and
vulnerable quality,

And because I told
them I could juggle.

Ok, but I still think you need

To project a little more.

You know, blair, just
because your father's

Donated a new
theater to the school

Doesn't mean you can
tell tootie how to act.

Of course it does.

That's what being a patron
of the arts is all about.

That, and plastering your name
all over the front of the building.

Whatever happened to the, uh,
concept of anonymous donors?

We tried that once, but nobody could
figure out where the money came from.

Well, I'm just glad that,
thanks to your family,

Langley finally
has a decent theater

Where a serious actress
can practice her craft.

Just don't get too
wrapped up in your craft.

If father's dedication
speech runs over,

We're dumping the play.

You know, blair,

Your father is a
very charming man.

When he called the other day,

Well, we chatted
away like 2 old friends.

It wasn't till the end
of the conversation

That he realized I wasn't edna.

Ha ha.

Ah, sh**t.

Hey, blair, these came
for you... 12 Roses.

That's a lot of
roses for one person

When there are other
people going around roseless.

No, thanks. I hate
it when they die.

Oh, what beautiful roses.

Where did you get them?

Oh, they're probably
from the college.

They're always making
well-meaning gestures toward me.

"Dear blair, urgent
problem. Must cancel.

"Be a good warner and
take my place. Love, dad."

I should have known.

Well, I'm sure he
wouldn't do this

If it weren't
something important,

Even urgent, like he
said in the telegram.

It's ok. I'm used to this.

I'll just have to carry on.

Like father always says,

"When there's a job to be done,

A warner does the job."

Morning, everybody.

No time to eat unless
we're talking donuts.

Here. Both: thank you.

College kids. They have
no regard for nutrition.

You are what you eat.

And what have you
been eating, scrap metal?

Uh-uh-uh.

Remember, she who pays
for the paper gets to read it

Before it's
buttered and jellied.

Let's see what the dow is up to.

Something wrong?

Does your dad still go
by the name david warner?

Certainly.

Is he, uh, a middle-aged man

With a touch of gray,

Not overly photogenic?

Did dad make the paper again?

The college must be having a
field day with the dedication.

"David warner indicted."

Blair, it's no big deal.

You know my parents
are criminal lawyers,

And so are most
of their clients.

Blair?

Blair?

Natalie: oh, I think
she's in shock.

Shock? Shock.

What are we supposed
to do for shock?

Walk them around.
No, no. Don't move them.

Uh, get a blanket.

No, keep them cool.

I remember, I remember.

What happened?

It's all right, blair.

You're here with your friends

And beverly ann.

I know where I am.

What I don't know is how that
ridiculous article got in the paper.

What could your father
possibly be indicted for?

Says here he's accused
of insider trading

To make a profit on some stocks.

Oh, my god.

What else does it say?

It's supposed to rain today.

He couldn't be guilty.

My father would never
do anything like that.

Obviously, somebody's
out to get him.

Blair, I'm sure they
have the wrong guy.

Well, of course they do.

I'll bet geraldo
rivera is behind this.

Well, whoever is responsible

Is not going to
get away with it.

Good for you.

I remember a time

When I was accused
of something unjustly.

I can still see my best friend

Standing there saying,

"That's her. That's the one"

And pointing a finger at me.

I never even touched
her stupid jacks.

She's right.

I think.

I'm not going to stand here

And let them drag my
father's name through the dirt.

Well, we'll let them know
that you won't be able

To give your dad's dedication
speech at the theater.

Oh, no. There's a
speech tomorrow night,

And I'm going to make sure
a warner's there to give it.

That's the spirit, blair.

I should have known
something was up

When he canceled his speech.

He was just trying
to protect me.

Like when I was a little girl,

I used to be afraid
of the bogeyman.

He would always comfort me.

He would say,
"honey, don't worry.

We own the bogeyman."

If anybody calls,

I'll be at my father's
place in the city.

Look, I told you at rehearsal,
I was just a little bit rusty,

But I wouldn't
have taken the part

If I knew I couldn't
handle the juggling bit.

I'll see you tomorrow
night at rehearsal.

Bye-bye.

Hey. Hey.

You wouldn't
believe all the gossip

Going around school
about blair's dad.

I know. That's all everybody
in drama department

Is talking about.

That and my juggling.

You know, the funniest
thing just happened.

I was trying to
make a fruit salad,

And my apples disappeared.

Oh, there they are.

Did you get the job?

I drove all the way
down to that newspaper,

And do you know what
they wanted me to do?

They wanted me to write a story.

You're kidding.

Then what were they
going to do, print it?

A story about blair and her
dad with all the inside scoop.

I told them I wouldn't
consider it for a minute.

Well, I'm proud of you, natalie.

There's no place in this town

For that kind of reporting.

Yeah. Especially at
the price they offered.

Hey, blair.

Don't start with me.
I've had a rough day.

I saw my dad and
he looks terrible.

Don't you worry
about a thing, blair.

Your dad has the best
lawyers in the country.

In the world.

I wish my dad had a good lawyer.

Isn't that the
way it always is...

Poor working stiffs,

Like your father and gumbo louie

Never even get an even break.

I have no idea
who gumbo louie is,

But I have a feeling I
don't want him mentioned

In the same sentence as my dad.

I bought daddy a tie
to try and cheer him up.

What do you think?

Oh, perfect. It
screams innocence.

My parents always say

Whenever you're on trial,

There are just some
things you don't wear.

Like what, stripes?

Hi.

Hi.

Can I help you pack?

Oh, thanks, but
I've got everything.

That's it? Where's
your makeup case?

This is my makeup case.

My luggage is over here.

I have to leave for new york

Right after the play.

It's too bad your
dad can't be here

For the ribbon-
cutting ceremonies,

Especially since it's
his ribbon we're cutting.

I'm just glad I could be
here to give a speech.

And besides, I don't want
to miss your opening night.

I'll be right there in the
front row rooting for you.

Blair, I'm so nervous
about this juggling.

I hope I don't drop the
tomatoes and the eggs.

You'll be fine.

And remember, I'll
be right up there

In the balcony cheering
my heart out for you.

You all ready?

I don't want to be late for
my first school function.

I was late for my first
day of third grade.

I never caught up.

Well, let's go.

Pulled the rambler out front.

I had it washed and waxed.

You didn't happen to have it
painted and stretched, did you?

You're packing an
awful lot of stuff.

Well, she's planning to
stay until the trial's over.

That could take months.

I know.

I'm prepared to cancel
my classes if I have to.

My father comes first.

Blair, I have to hand it to you.

You sure have a lot of guts.

And it feels like
they're all in here.

Listen, we just got a
call from the school.

Oh, tell them we're on our way.

What's the rush?

Can't start without me.

I'm the one dedicating
the building.

Uh, well, I got some
bad news about tonight.

Oh, no. The play's
been canceled.

No, that's still on, but, um,

They've called off the
dedication ceremony

Indefinitely.

Those cowards.

I have a good mind to
take the building back

And give it to some poor college

Who knows the
meaning of gratitude.

I can't believe they'd do
this at the last minute.

Boy, are they going
to be embarrassed

When my father's
proven innocent.

Uh...

Listen, i-i'm sorry

To have to tell
you this, but, uh,

Your dad just pleaded guilty.

What?

That's impossible.

I don't think so.

Uh, he pleaded
guilty in exchange

For a suspended sentence.

Blair's been in her
room over an hour.

I think we should take
some dinner up to her.

I think we should
leave her alone.

When she gets hungry
enough, she'll come down.

Guys, I really feel terrible

About leaving
at a time like this,

But if I don't get going now,

I'm going to miss my play,

And if I'm not there,

They'll put my understudy on,

And you've seen those movies.

She becomes a star,

And I wind up a
broken-down alcoholic.

Oh, this is an awful dilemma.

Blair needs us here to
give her moral support,

But on the other hand,

I'd hate to see tootie

Pushing a shopping
cart down broadway.

Look, the show must go on,

And I have to be there,

But you guys stay
here with blair.

Why? Sitting around
here's not going to help.

Yeah. She wants to be alone,

And anyway, we'll only
be gone a few hours.

Well, wait a minute.

What if I get lots
of curtain calls

And we're there real late?

We'll risk it. Let's go.

Tootie, I can't wait to
see you up on stage.

What are you all
still doing here?

Uh, well, to tell
you the truth...

Look, I appreciate your concern,

But please, don't stay
here on my account.

This is tootie's big night.

Go to the play.

Well, actually... I insist.

She insists.

But we can stay
here if you need us.

Go.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Positive?

Absolutely.

She really wants us to stay.

Hello?

Oh, hi, mr. Warner.

How are you?

I mean, how are you?

Yes, this is beverly ann.

Sure, mr. Warner.

Yes, I'll... Just one second.

Oh, blair, your father
wants to talk to you.

Tell him I went out.

I will not lie.

Ok, then tell him I don't
want to speak with him.

Mr. Warner?

She went out.

Yes. I will tell her.

Good-bye.

I don't think he believed me.

Does it matter? I'm not
going to talk with him.

Maybe you'll feel
differently tomorrow.

I doubt it.

Blair, come on.
He's your father.

That's right.

He's my father. He's
not your father.

And I don't want to have
anything to do with him.

Wow. I don't know
about you guys,

But I could use a good,
stiff musical right now.

What about blair?

She's a big girl.

I'm sure she can figure
it out for herself.

Let's go.

Good luck with the
play tonight, tootie.

Good luck to you, too.

Oh, I forgot something.

I'll be right out, all right?

I recognize that
look on your face, jo.

What happened
to "she's a big girl"?

That was for them.

Look. I know what
you're going to say...

That he's still my father,

And no matter what he's done,

It doesn't change the fact
that he needs me right now.

That's close.

And then you're going to say

That he has enough
people judging him

Without adding me
to the list, right?

That's very good,
but I'm not done yet.

Wait, and then you're
going to add that

I need to grow up and stop
acting like a pampered little brat.

You forgot spoiled.

I don't see how you can
preach to me that way, jo.

When your father went to jail,

You didn't even
want to visit him.

I was a kid, blair.
You're an adult.

You don't understand.

This just doesn't
happen to a warner.

We don't do this kind of thing.

Yeah, that's what I thought
about the polniaczeks.

We were both wrong.

The thing is he's
let me down before.

It's just never hurt like this.

How did you get over it?

Who says I got over it?

But you went on with your life.

That's right.

Oh, there's one more thing

You forgot to tell
yourself for me.

You know, if you
were in trouble,

Do you think your dad
would turn his back on you?

See you later.

Would you relax? You
were wonderful last night.

Oh, I don't know. The critic
from the peekskill press

Was there last night,
sitting in the front row,

And left right
after intermission.

Probably to go
to the men's room.

She was a woman!

Well, we've come
a long way, baby.

Hey, here it is! Late
morning edition!

Oh, let me see, let
me see! I can't wait!

Yes, I can. Somebody
else better read it to me.

"Make mine macaroni
opened last night

"At the new langley
college theater,

And sensational
isn't the word for it."

Both: all right!

"Abominable is the word for it."

"The writing was mediocre,
the direction was appalling,

"And the cast was
uniformly inadequate.

With one notable
exception... Tootie ramsey."

Oh, that's me! Oh, let me see!

"Ms. Ramsey is a
remarkable comedy juggler.

She was so inept, it couldn't
have been on purpose."

She's so right. Do you
know how hard it is

To look that bad dropping
all those eggs on the floor?

Talk about your
yellow waxy build-up.

Hi.

Hi! Oh, how's blair?

Oh, I haven't seen
her. She left a note

Saying she was
going out for a walk.

Hello, girls.

Hi, mr. Warner. We were
just talking about you.

Uh, we were talking
about how beautiful

The theater building is.

I'm sorry you couldn't
see the play last night.

That's ok. I read a review.

I don't think you've
met beverly ann.

We've talked on the
phone. How do you do?

Oh, I'm so pleased to meet you.

I've heard so much about you...

I mean from blair.

I mean... How 'bout those mets?

Great series.

Where's blair?

Um, she went for a walk.

When will she be back?

Oh, uh, it's hard to say.

She doesn't want to
talk to me, does she?

She's pretty devastated.

I never meant to hurt
her. I hope you believe that.

Of course we do.

But we're not blair.

D-do you mind if I wait?

Oh, not at all.

How does a cup of coffee sound?

It sounds terrific. Ok.

Thank you.

Poor mr. Warner.

Who would've thought
we'd ever hear those words

Used in the same sentence?

Mr. Warner: I'm at a loss.

I don't know what
to do about blair.

Well, I'm not sure

You're talking to
the right person.

I've never had any
children of my own,

Though frank did like
me to cut his meat for him.

That was your ex?

Well, only since the divorce.

Look, even though I've
never been a parent,

I... I do like to pretend

That these girls
could be my daughters.

And, uh, what I think is

That the next move is...

Really up to blair.

I can't let things
stay like this.

She'll come around.

It may just take time.

It's so hard for a
man like me to accept.

I'm used to snapping my
fingers and having my way.

Maybe that's where
blair got it from.

Oh, she's your
daughter, mr. Warner.

Don't give up.

I never intended to.

Hey, dad.

Hello, blair.

I saw your car outside.

It could use a wash.

Well, I've been kind of busy.

Well, you two have
things to talk about,

So I'll just...

Blair, I tried to get
in touch with you.

I know.

Look, um, I've been doing

A lot of thinking
about... What happened...

And I think I can
talk about it now.

That's good.

I've always known you
weren't the ideal father,

But that didn't stop me

From wishing you could be.

I guess you'd given
up hope by now, huh?

I almost did.

But then I remembered

That whenever I got in trouble

You never deserted
me, and you never would.

Even if I dented your
brand-new mercedes

Or eloped with a guitar player.

How big is the dent?

So I've just accepted
the fact that...

You are the father you are,

And that's ideal enough for me.

Blair, you don't know how
glad I am you said that...

Even before you hear
what I came to tell you.

What's that?

It's a long story.

It begins with a man named
david warner... Senior.

Granddaddy?

When he was a young man

Active in the financial world,

No one could touch him.

He was a wizard.

I know.

I remember for
my eighth birthday

I really wanted a barbie doll,

And he gave me a stock tip.

In those days, wall street
was like the wild west,

And your grandfather had
more notches on his wallet

Than anyone else.

No wonder he hated retirement.

You don't know how much.

You take a man, a
vital man like that,

And put him out
to pasture and...

What I'm trying to say is
that your grandfather

Missed the excitement
of the game.

So he decided to roll
the dice one last time.

Only what he hadn't realized

Is that the rules of
the game had changed.

He took advantage of
some inside information

For a profit.

He broke the law.

You mean granddaddy?

But I thought
they said that you...

Blair, I couldn't let my
own father go to prison.

Even if he got a
suspended sentence,

A man 87 years old...
Going through that trial

And all that notoriety...
It would've k*lled him.

But that day at
the lawyers' office,

Why didn't you tell me then?

I couldn't.

They hadn't worked
out all the details.

Would you like to hear

How I was going to start

My dedication speech last night?

Sure.

Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen, and thank you.

That's because they
would've given me

A standing ovation
when I was introduced.

The man who donated
this theater to langley

Cannot be with us tonight

For reasons I'm
sure you've all heard.

But let me tell you
about david warner.

He is a man who has never failed

To share his good fortune

Whenever he saw the need.

He is a man who believes

In helping young people
fulfill their dreams.

He is a man I am proud
to call my father.

Daddy, I am more
proud of you than ever.

If you can love your
father that much,

How could I love you any less?

I love you too, princess.