08x23 - Rites of Passage: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both,
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin',
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

Hey, jo, how's the
graduation speech coming?

Great. Want to
see my first draft?

Sure.

Come on, jo. It's not that hard.

Just tell 'em how you feel

About your 4 years at langley...

But clean up the language.

The problem is is I
know what I'd like to say,

But the dean gave me this
whole stack of speeches

To use as a guide.

"Striding confidently
forward into the sunrise

Of a new era of accomplishment."

You know, with a packet
of seeds and this speech,

You could grow a
pretty good garden.

They're all like that.

You'll do great.

They wouldn't have
chosen you as class speaker

If they didn't want to
hear what you had to say.

Unlike the rest of us.

Would you give me a break?

I really have a problem.

Graduation is saturday.

You want to see a problem?

Look at this.

Porsche has discontinued
candy-apple red.

Oh, no.

I had my heart set
on a red porsche.

Daddy wanted me to pick out
something really spectacular

For my graduation
present this year.

Isn't it customary for
the person buying the gift

To pick it out?

It's just so much
easier if I get it

And send him the bill.

You're right.

Why even blow a
fortune on a color

That might not
match your hair...

That week?

On second thought, a car
is so cold, so impersonal...

Unlike a diamond.

Where'd I put that
tiffany catalogue?

Great. A little peace and quiet.

Beverly ann: andrew c. Moffet,
take that off right now!

Beverly ann, why can't I
wear this to the graduation?

I love this suit.

I've worn it for years.

Exactly. Boys
grow, but suits don't.

I don't like to go shopping.

This suit is fine.

Ugh. He won't listen to me.

Jo, you tell him.

Well, i... You see?

Once we're in the
store and you try it on,

You see how handsome you look,

I bet you'll love it.

All right. Let's go.

But nobody's
measuring my inseam.

Finally.

Tootie: jo!

Or not finally.

Jo, you took english lit.

I've got 2 days to come up
with a terrific monologue

For my summer stock audition.

I haven't found
a thing that I like.

Any suggestions?

Here. Knock yourself out.

Jo, I'm serious.

A thousand people are
auditioning for 30 spots.

By the time I perform,

"I've always relied on the
kindness of strangers,"

They'll already have
heard it 900 times.

I see what you mean.

What am I gonna do?

What's the problem?

My summer stock audition.

Williamstown theatre is
the best place in the country

For an actress to get training.

I need a monologue
that really dazzles them.

Why don't I write you something?

Really?

Yeah. Just tell me
what you're looking for.

Um, well, it's gotta
have a lot of dramatics,

But it should have some humor.

Uh-huh. Serious but funny.

It should be exciting
but not hammy.

I see. Exciting, hold the hammy.

And above all,

It's got to make use of
my full dramatic range.

Something that
really says... "Tootie."

I think I get the picture.

You can't go wrong
by just being yourself.

Let's go upstairs
and work on it.

Oh, you're a life saver!

Just be yourself.

Yeah, why not?

Oh, the diamond
tiara sounds perfect.

Just send it to my address
and write on the note,

"Dear princess, please
accept this small token

"Until I can get
you a real gift.

Love, daddy."

Ok, thanks.

Hi.

Blair, would you listen
to my monologue, please?

Of course.

Great, thanks.

When you left me,

It was as if a thousand
suns were extinguished

By your good-bye.

My dreams came
crashing down around me,

And here I stand in the
rubble of our passion.

Natalie: ruins!

Ruins of our passion!

Oh, yeah. I made
a little change.

You changed ruins to rubble?

Yeah. What's wrong with that?

Ruins is classic. It's poetic.

Rubble is the guy who lives
next door to fred flintstone.

Look, natalie, I love
your monologue.

It's just that I don't
think my character

Is the ruins type.

I created your character.

It was just words on a page

Before I breathed life into it.

Do me a favor.

Just act, don't breathe.

What a crock.

I can't believe those idiots.

And that wraps up

The inspirational
portion of our program.

You know that
speech I was writing?

Well, I couldn't
stand the garbage

That they wanted me to say,

So I decided to write
what I really felt.

Unh. All I said is it's a
tough world out there,

And if you have any
hope of changing it,

It's not gonna come
from a diploma alone,

And the graduation
committee rejected it.

Jo, jo, jo.

Jo, jo, jo.

Jo.

When are you going to wake
up and smell the cappuccino?

Graduation is a happy time.

People don't want to
hear depressing things.

They're dressed up.

Blair, if I can't deliver
the speech I believe in,

Then I'm not giving
any speech at all.

This has to drape just right,

So let me know when
I've taken it in enough.

Enough!

Imagine that store
wanting to charge $25

For alterations I can
do with my eyes closed.

Uh, please.

I've got my whole
life ahead of me.

Well, my parents
should be here any time.

What happened when they found out
you weren't speaking at graduation?

Uh, well, haven't told 'em yet.

Other than that, they're
taking it real well.

Ok, that's enough.

Hey, is this the home of
magna cum polniaczek?

Ha ha. Dad.

Oh, there she is, my
little graduation girl.

Mom.

Come on in. Come in.

Tell me, how was the trip up?

Not bad for 2 divorced
people in a volkswagen.

Jo, we have a surprise for you.

Aw, how sweet. Thanks.

Uh, anybody got a buck
so I can tip this guy?

My little karska.

It's only a buck.

Jo, this is your grandfather.

Grandpa?

Direct from poland.

Jo, this is your
graduation present.

I can't believe this.

I haven't seen
you since I was 7.

The 15 years looks
better on you.

No. You look great.

Have you seen my... Oh.

Oh, excuse me.

Uh, beverly ann, come here.

This is my mom rose.
Uh, you know my dad,

And this is my grandfather
josef polniaczek.

I was named after him.

Well, I'm delighted to meet you.

I was named after
my grandfather, too.

Boris ann.

Well, I'll get tea.

Please, sit down.

Jo, how do you
like your present?

This is great.

I am the one that
got the present.

All I did is I raised a son,

And from this I got a
beautiful granddaughter.

And smart, too.

The first polniaczek to
graduate from college.

I can't believe you
came all this way

Just to see me graduate.

Not just to see you graduate.

I came to hear you
make the big speech.

That's why I'm here.

So this is your store, eh?

What do you sell here?

Oh, doodads to wear, plastic
this-and-thats, decorative stuff.

Junk.

Well, no, it's more like, uh...

Well, yeah. Junk.

Uh, blair.

This is my grandfather
josef polniaczek.

It's a pleasure to meet
you, mr. Polniaczek.

Why, thank you.

I know a compliment
when I hear one...

Even in polish.

Relax. That was "how do you do?"

My jo is going to give

The big graduation
speech tomorrow,

But you know that, huh?

Mr. Polniaczek, maybe
you would like a souvenir.

Why don't you take a
look around the store?

Ok, I look. Heh heh.

When are you gonna to tell him?

I'm trying, all right?

Huh? What is this?

This is a telephone?

Telephone shaped like a sausage?

Ha! Well, why not?

My country, we have women
who are shaped like a sausage.

We also have women who
are shaped like a telephone.

Blair, hey.

Rose, how are you?

I'm just fine, thank you.

Did jo tell you how
proud of her we are?

She mentioned it.

Oh, I almost forgot, honey.

There's a phone call for you.

Oh, thanks.

Listen, gramps.

Um, about my speech...

I don't know how
to say it, but, um...

You will say it fantastic,

And when you're up
there making me proud,

Just pretend that I've
got my arms around you.

Mr. Polniaczek.

Beverly ann is
serving rhubarb pie,

And she says she has a piece

With your name on it.

Oh, this I got to see.

A woman who can spell
the name polniaczek

I've got to know.

Um... That was the
dean on the phone.

He said he heard my speech
at last year's founders day,

And he wants me to give
another one just like it.

Oh?

Tomorrow at graduation.

In place of you.

Let's see. Charlie
shouldn't sit next to his ex,

But he should sit next to jo,

And jo should sit
next to her mother.

Now, since the
warners are divorced,

They shouldn't sit
next to each other...

Unless they are getting along,

Which I don't know if they are.

Oh, what the hell.
We'll have a buffet.

David, oh.

Beverly ann, nice
to see you again.

Well, same here,

And who's your lovely date?

This isn't my lovely
date, it's my ex-wife.

Monica. Blair's mother.

Welcome.

Oh, so you two came together.

No. We just ran into each other

In front of the house.

She rear-ended my limo
with her convertible.

Your chauffeur stopped short.

You were following too close.

We'll eat in different rooms.

Mother! Daddy!

Hi, darling. How
wonderful you're here.

Oh, and thank you for
the lovely presents.

You're welcome. What
did we get you this time?

You really outdid yourself.

Oh, I cannot believe
you're graduating college...

And I look so young.

There's something I
need to talk to you about.

The dean has asked
me to be class speaker.

Congratulations!

That's terrific news.

Why didn't you tell us before?

Well, because I was
actually their second choice.

The first person they
asked turned them down.

What kind of a fool

Would pass up an
opportunity like that?

Jo.

Oh. Oh.

Well, it's a little awkward,

But of course you'll speak.

I don't know.

I'm just a little worried
about how jo might feel.

Well, somebody's got
to give that speech.

I'm sure she'd rather it be
a friend than a stranger.

And blair warner
in the spotlight.

What could be more fitting?

You're right, as always.

I'll make the speech.

This has been exhausting.

I need to relax.

Good idea. Let's go
spend money recklessly.

And now...

What the well-dressed
young teenager will be wearing

For graduation this spring.

You will notice
that andy is sporting

A well-tailored blue
suit, a smart red tie,

And disgusting dirty sneakers.

It's a look.

Well, it's not the
look you're wearing.

Well, my good shoes
are too small for me now.

Well, we'll just find out.

Well, hi, mr. And mrs. Warner.

Oh, my. You look wonderful.

Oh, thank you.

I've got an audition
in new york.

Oh, good luck. Can we
drop you at the station?

Oh, that'd be great.
I'll just get my coat.

Oh, we'll be outside.

It's the limo with the
convertible on the fender.

Tootie, oh, I'm so
glad you're still here.

Natalie, please don't rattle me.

I'm nervous enough already.

No. I just wanted to say

I'm very sorry
about what happened.

Maybe I'm a little too
sensitive about my writing.

I'm sorry, too.

I guess I'm a little too
sensitive about my acting.

Nat, I want to get into
williamstown so badly.

You will. You're a
terrific actress.

Thanks, and you're
a terrific writer.

I hope I make it back
in time for graduation.

You will if you get going.

Break a leg. Thanks.

And if you change one
more word of my monologue,

I'll break the other one.

Bye.

Hi, charlie.

Hi, blair... And
dave! Dave warner!

Great to see ya. How ya been?

I'm fine. How are you?

Me? Never better.

I could stand to
lose a few pounds,

But, hey, who couldn't, huh?

Ha ha ha!

If you'll excuse me,

I have a few new
sweaters to alphabetize.

Thanks, daddy. See you later.

Well, here we are again, huh?

Now this time our two little
girls graduating college.

You must be very proud of jo.

Oh, yeah. She's
something else, that kid,

But, hey.

Blair's nothing to
sneeze at either.

No, I don't suppose she
is something to sneeze at.

Well, tomorrow's the big day.

You're telling me.

I mean, seeing them in
their caps and gowns,

Getting their diplomas,
and then that speech.

It's gonna be great.

I'm glad to hear you say that.

I was afraid you'd be upset

That blair agreed to do the
speech after jo backed out.

Jo backed out?

Whoa. Look at that time.

Hey, david.

Hey, dad, I'm ready.
Where's gramps?

I... I... I better get
back to the hotel.

It's almost happy hour.

Bye.

Ha! Happy hour?

David warner? What
was that all about?

That's what I'd like to know.

Blair's giving the
speech instead of you?

So, she made her decision, huh?

Never mind her.

How come I didn't hear
about all this from you?

Listen, it wasn't
easy for me to say

Because I knew grandpa
would be disappointed.

The graduation committee...

I come in, and all of a
sudden everything is quiet.

So, either you were arguing,

Or you were talking about me.

Hmm? So go ahead, argue.

Mm-hmm.

Pop, I gotta...
No. Dad, I'll do it.

Look, gramps, um...

I'm not gonna be giving
that speech tomorrow.

The graduation committee
rejected what I wrote

And wanted me to
say a bunch of things

That I didn't believe in,

And I wouldn't do that.

I'm sorry. I hope you're
not too disappointed.

So, if I am disappointed,

You will make the speech?

No.

Good.

You have got courage.

Up there in heaven your
grandma is smiling now.

Like that.

Who raised this fine child?

Beats me, pop.

You're a good boy, charlie.

You could maybe
lose a few pounds,

But you're a good boy.

Thanks, pop.

I read in the papers where
the young people today,

They got no values.

Here in this house,
this is not true.

Good news!

My tiara has arrived.

Look, charlie.

Are these the faces of
young people without values?

Uh, pop... No, no.
I gotta say this.

My granddaughter is
a very brave person.

Too brave to make a
speech she don't believe in.

Uh, gramps.

I really don't think this
is a good time for this.

You are embarrassed
I should say this

In front of your friend?

Oh, she would have
done the same thing.

I'm gonna get on back upstairs.

Do you know what
I am going to say

To this spineless coward who
makes this speech tomorrow?

I will say pfft!

You can save your... Pfft.

I'm the spineless coward who's
making the speech tomorrow.

Oh, boy.

Well, this is it. Graduation.

Yep. Graduation.

You still don't understand
why I'm giving this speech, do you?

Yeah, I understand.

Look, I can't give the
speech that I believe in,

So you go ahead
and give the speech

That you believe in.

It's all right.

Really?

Really.

Thanks, jo.

Listen, this is a
big moment for us.

In a few hours a diploma,

And then... Well...

Who knows what's out there?

Well, whatever it is,
we'll get through it.

Can you believe all
we've been through

In the last 8 years?

The yesterdays, the
good times... The bad.

Ha ha ha! The laughter.

The arguments.

The friendship.

I'll give you that one.

Happy graduation, blair.

Happy graduation, jo.

And as you navigate into
the golden times ahead,

It is my fervent hope

That your days at langley

Have offered a safe
harbor and a warm shore

From which it is
now time to push off

And sail on.

Where's tootie?

She had time to audition,
become a broadway star,

And make a comeback.

And now it is my pleasure
to present this year's

Senior class speaker...
Miss blair warner.

How'd it go?

Great. I did it.

I made it into summer stock.

Fantastic.

Tootie made it
into summer stock.

Fantastic. Tootie made
it into summer stock.

Oh, fantastic. Tootie
made it into summer stock.

Fantastic. Tootie made
it into summer stock.

That's very nice. My
daughter's giving a speech.

Ladies and gentlemen,
fellow students,

Distinguished guests,
and dean jones.

The student who was
supposed to speak today

Was brave enough
not to give a speech

She didn't believe in.

She had what one
fine gentleman called...

Values.

I hope that what I have to say

Will speak for her
as well as for myself.

It's a tough world out there.

It's not the bright, beautiful
place that it seems to be

From the ivy-framed windows

And manicured lawns
of our langley tower.

That's my speech.

No matter what our diplomas say,

We have not been
prepared for it.

We have spent 4
years taking tests

On what they have
chosen to teach us.

Miss warner, what do
you think you're doing?

I'm giving a speech...
In warner hall...

In the warner wing...

Of warner auditorium...
From my father...

Mr. Warner.

There he is now.

Hi, daddy.

Carry on, miss warner.

Thank you, dean.

We have spent 4
years taking tests

On what they have
chosen to teach us,

But tomorrow
the big test begins,

And it covers a lot of
what they have chosen

To leave out.

Still, we can take
what we have learned...

We owe it to each
other, to ourselves,

And to those with whom
we share this world.

And those, ladies and gentlemen,

Are the words of my
friend jo polniaczek.

My granddaughter!