07x02 - Designing Woman

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

(no voice)

♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪

♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪

(humming "If I Were a Rich Man")

♪ Yidle-di... di... ♪

(stops humming)

(resumes humming)

(muttering while humming):
♪ Yidle, didle, didle... ♪



Alex!

- You're humming!
- What is with you?

You hummed the entire overture
to Fiddler on the Roof.

I did not.

You did! You were humming
and "yidle-didling"

at the same time!

Look what you did, Alex!
You made me smudge my sketch.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mal.

Did the crayon go outside
the Smurf's hat?

For your information, Alex,

this is a sketch for my
advanced design class.

I've done a whole collection.
Do you want to see it?

No, Mal, I don't.

You obviously don't understand
how important clothes are.

If we didn't have clothes,
mister, we'd be naked.

And if we were naked, we'd look
pretty stupid wearing shoes.

You know, Mal, if you were to
spontaneously combust right now,

those would be some pretty
special last words.

- Oh, hello!
- Hey, how was the mall?

Oh, fun, fun.
All the clerks send their love.

They're so sweet.

Yeah, they-they missed
your mother,

but I explained she was
out of town on business,

and they took it very well.

I got some really hot sweaters,
Mal, and a belt.

Dad got att*cked by women
in lab coats spraying cologne.

Didn't affect me
in the slightest.

(phone rings)

I got it.

Hello. Yes.

Oh, hi.

Uh-huh... Yes...

Yes?

Yes, I'm... Yes.

Uh-huh. Yes.

Well, thank you.

Yeah, okay. Bye.

Yes. (squeals)

Scarf sale at Lazarus?

I just got a job
at David Campbell Fashions.

They are the top fashion
design firm in Ohio!

Oh, honey, did we even know
you were up for this?

No, I didn't want you to know.

I mean, I didn't think
I had a chance.

They pick from the entire

Grant College
fashion department.

Whoa.

Now I know how you got the job.

Everybody else
sewed themselves together.

Oh, now I'm in fashion.

I mean, I really, really am!

Well, Mallory,
you're on your way.

Jennifer, you don't know.

It's such an honor
to be chosen for this.

You have to work long hours,

you have to be on call
at all times

and you don't get paid.

Sounds like your job, Dad.

"And so, Robin Hood
and Maid Marian, Friar Tuck

"and Little John went back
to Sherwood Forest.

"And lived happily ever after

"off the interest
they were earning

from Robin's investment
in junk bonds.

The end."

It's amazing.

Each time you hear
one of those classic tales,

you discover something new.

Alex can really tell a story.

This one was even better
than the one about Rapunzel

and her lucrative
hair salon franchise.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, what, uh,
what was this one about?

It was about Robin Hood;

how he stole from the poor
and gave to the rich.

No, no, that's-that's
not Robin Hood, Andy.

That's Ronald Reagan.

Well, there you go again, Dad.

Is that any way to treat
a lame duck?

I mean, what did Ronald Reagan
ever do to you?

He made a mockery of everything
I value and hold dear.

And that was just during
his acting career.

Come on, Andy,
I'll put you to bed.

Everyone, I want you to meet
Jamie Carter.

(gasps)

Alex, Alex...

she said "Jamie," not Jimmy.

You ought to get that changed.

That's not fair.

Jamie is a star designer
at David Campbell Fashions

where I'm gonna be
an apprentice.

- Oh, hi, hi.
- Hello.

I don't know
if you guys remember,

but in his Spring ' collection

there was this incredible
mint chiffon split skirt

with a matching Jacquard bolero.

It was a Jamie.

See, Dad...

I told you that was a Jamie.

You said it was a Coco.

Pay up.

Come on, Alex.

Let's, uh, let's let these
fashioneers design away.

We can go out
and do something manly.

- Let's, uh, let's go shave.
- Yeah.

Come on.

I'm sorry.

Aw, that's okay.

I have a brother just like that,
so I'm used to it.

Anyway, I'm here to formally
welcome you

to David Campbell Fashions

and to answer any questions
you might have.

This is so exciting.

Well, it's not all that
glamorous, really.

It's a lot of menial work,

you know, cutting fabric,
basic sewing.

Oh, I can do that.

And also running errands

and making coffee.

No problem.
I'm great at that.

Coffee, tea, cocoa,
any of the hot water beverages.

Um, also, Jamie,

I-I have these designs
I did for school

and I'd really love to hear
what you have to say.

Oh, Mallory...
these are very good.

Especially for someone
with so little training.

You really have a lot
of talent in this area.

I've-I've done a whole line.
It's called

"Dress For Your Fear
Of Success."

- Hmm...
- Huh?

It's for the young
businesswoman.

Okay? These clothes say,
"Yes, I'm competent.

"Yes, I'm making
a bold statement.

Yes, I'm a woman.
Can I help you?"

I also have this idea
to design something where,

if your panty line is showing,
a little bell goes off.

Uh, oh, and also, if you
accidentally tuck your skirt

into your panty hose,
you get an electric shock.

When we're finished here,
do you want to go to lunch?

Oh, yeah, that'd be great.

Jamie, this has been the most
exciting week of my life.

I mean, I cannot believe
I got to see

the new David Campbell fashions

before anybody else
at my school.

You said this wasn't glamorous,
but it really is.

(clattering)

Oh, my God.

Oh, here.

Oh, my God, it's David Campbell,

and I'm sewn to a dummy.

Oh, Jamie?

Oh, David, let me introduce you.

This is Mallory Keaton,
our new apprentice.

Hi.

I love your hair.

Jamie, I love your new designs.

It's been quite a while

since we've seen
anything new from you.

Yeah, well, thanks.

It just kind of came to me.

Well, I think we should
share them with everyone.

Everybody, please.

Now? No, no, you don't have to.

Don't be silly.

Yvette's going to model.

I didn't know you had done
some new designs.

You're so modest.

No, I'm really not.

No, you are.

I mean, all this time
you've been doing these designs,

and you still had time to show
a new apprentice the ropes?

(gasps)

Isn't this exciting?

Bone-chilling.

This is Jamie's latest creation.

- (others ooh and ahh)
- WOMAN: Very nice.

Dress for your fear of success.

This design allows
the young professional woman

to assert herself,

yet keep every bit
of her femininity.

It's beautiful.

BOTH:
Thank you.

I go now.

I want that in tomorrow's show.

You've done it again, kid.

It's over, Alex.

It's not over, Jen.

It's not over
until the fat bishop sings.

Well, tell him to start
warbling, pal,

because you're looking
at checkmate.

(shouts):
Jen, look out behind you!

Nice try, Alex.

Jen, I'm serious!

Jen, it's a monster!

Jen, it's a beast.

It's a giant furry creature!

Jen, I mean it!

(screams)

What do you think I am,
still six years old?

I'm gonna turn around,

you're gonna knock
the pieces off the board?

(high-pitched voice):
No.

Jen... it's hideous.

Jen!
No, monster, don't touch her!

Leave her alone!

She's my sister! I love her!

Aah!

Oops.

(laughs)

You're seriously ill.

You know that, don't you?

That may be true,
but I'm also undefeated.

Hey, Mal. Where you been?

You guys are not
gonna believe this.

I'm so confused.

Just generally,
or is this something specific?

Why? What happened?

Jamie Carter, she stole
the designs I did for school.

Wait, she did what?

She took my designs

and she presented them
to David Campbell as her own.

David loved them.

They're gonna be
in the new collection tomorrow.

Well, that's awful, Mallory.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know.

What do you mean,
you don't know?

You're gonna go in there,

you're gonna tell him
what she did.

I don't think I could
bring myself to do that, Alex.

It's just not me.

Are you saying
you're just gonna do nothing,

just chalk it up
as a learning experience?

I guess so.

(sighs)
Is it possible maybe just once

a learning experience
could be fun?

What about calling Mom?

She'll know what to do.

No, I want to handle this
on my own.

So don't tell Dad either, okay?

I can't believe this.

My first experience
in the fashion world,

and look what happens.

I mean,
is it always like this, Alex?

Is this what
the business world is like?

Lying, stealing,
cheating, corruption?

If it's done right, yeah.

Then I can't compete.

- I can't live my life like this.
- No, Mal, I'm kidding.

Mal, I'm kidding.

No, it should be tough.

It should be competitive,
but-but it should also be fair.

I mean, lying and stealing
should not be a part of it.

You know, I just have to believe
this is gonna come back to her.

You know,
her karma will get her.

Yeah, there's something
we can hang our hat on.

Her karma will get her.

Come on. (scoffs)

It's pretty much a fact, Alex.

I mean,
whatever you put out there,

it comes right back at you.

(Alex chuckles)

Get out of here.

No, it's a never-ending cycle
of cosmic retaliation.

Come on.

It's true.

If you're mean or petty
or vengeful,

that type of energy
flows out around you,

and into the universe
that you inhabit.

If you're negative or selfish,

concerned only about yourself
and your own feelings,

soon that negativity
will envelop you

and become the very air
that you breathe.

I'm doomed.

(indistinct conversations)

It's packed out there;
everybody ready?

- Yeah, I'm ready.
- Yeah.

Joe, you work with Renee.

Jamie, you work with,
uh, Mallory.

- But I really...
- You have a problem with that?

- No. Not at all.
- Good.

Do you have a problem with that?

No, I'm fine.

Okay, everybody, let's go.

No, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
That's not the way it goes.

No, Mallory, leave it,
I like it that way.

No, it's wrong.

Mallory, you are the apprentice.

I think I know a little
something about this design.

Jamie, it's bunching up in back.

It looks fine.

No, I'm telling you,
it's bunchy.

And I'm telling you it's fine.

Now, Yvette, is it possible

for you to stop
complaining just once?

Say it, don't spray it.

Hi. I'm...

I'm sorry, I didn't know
you were getting breast.

Dressed. I'm s...

MALLORY: Alex... Alex,
what are you doing here?

I, um, just... I came by
to wish you luck, Mal.

Oh, good luck, honey.
I just wanted...

No, no, no,
this is totally wrong.

Who did you? Who did him?

No, I'm s...
Thank you, thank you.

(audience cheers in distance)

(applause)

Did you, uh,
did you confront her?

Alex, I can
handle it myself, okay?

No, you're not handling it, Mal.

I know you.
You're... you're too soft.

You're too forgiving, you know?

You're too good
for your own good.

Ouch, man!

I am not a pincushion, you know.

Look, Alex, I appreciate
your concern,

but I have a lot
of work to do here.

Yeah, I just don't like
to see you taken advantage of.

They love me.

Will someone stop Dad
before he goes around again?

Dad, what are you doing?

Mal, Mal, I never really
knew what you saw

in the fashion world, but now
that I've had a taste of it,

I'm hooked.

It's great, Mal.

Well, I'm gonna go out
and watch the rest of the show.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

Hey, Dad...

I hate my hair.

Jamie, I love this suit more
and more every time I see it.

Thank you.

It will be the hit
of the new season.

I think it's the best work
you've ever done.

Mallory, grab that box
of bracelets, please.

I need those bracelets.

I can't believe this.

That is my outfit.

I made that jacket,
it took me months.

How can you stand here and smile
and take the credit for it?

You really don't understand

the business world,
do you, Mallory?

No, I don't, Jamie.

Why don't you explain it to me?

Explain how someone
can pretend to be your friend

and pretend to like you,

and then turn around
and s*ab you in the back.

Why did you do this to me?

Because I'm no good anymore.

What?

I'm just burnt out, okay?

The ideas are gone,
and if I didn't come up

with something soon,
I was gonna be gone, too.

What are you talking about?

You've been the star designer
here for five years.

Oh, let me tell you something.

In this business, you are only
as good as your last design.

But that doesn't
give you any right...

You don't know
what it's like for me.

I sit in front of that drawing
board night after night,

waiting for the ideas to come
and nothing happens.

I-I look at my old drawings,
and I have to ask myself,

"Why can't I do this anymore?"

(sighs)

Let's just get this over with.

- Uh, David?
- Yes?

Uh, Mallory has something
she wants to say to you.

Yes, Mallory, what is it?

Um... uh...

I-I just wanted I-I-I really
appreciate this opportunity.

It's really been great.

Thank you.
It's nice having you here.

You know, this would
be much easier

if you would just hate me.

It'd be easier for me, too,
but I can't do that, okay?

If it's any consolation,
my brother hates you.

That's it, people.

- The show's over.
- DAVID: Good.

Okay, everyone, let's take
a bow, huh? Come on.

JAMIE (quietly):
Yeah.

What a night.

Yeah, you were the hit
of the show, Dad.

Just glad none of my peers
were there to witness it.

Why didn't you let me in
on what was happening, Mal?

(sighs)

Well, I wanted
to handle it myself, Dad.

I mean, you're a parent,

and you always want
to make it all better.

And you usually do.

But I wanted to make it
all better by myself.

Well, you handled yourself
tonight with grace and dignity.

I wish I could say
the same thing for you, Dad.

You know, I guess this is mostly
my fault for being so naive.

I mean, I've always
looked at the world

through rose-tinted glasses
in expensive Italian frames.

I gotta stop doing that.

Whoa, Mal, no, you don't.

You don't, okay?

You go through life trusting

and always believing
that the best is gonna happen.

You can't give that up.

You're helping, nurturing,
reaching out to people.

That's what life
is all about, Mal.

Whoa, where am I?

I should have said something.

I mean, doesn't this make me
kind of a...

I don't know, a pansy?

Oh, no, no, no...
listen, not at all.

If anything, it gives you
strength of character.

No, not a pansy.

More like... a rhododendron.

- I'm proud of you, Mal.
- Thanks.

So, kids, what do you say?

Should I go into modeling
professionally?

You do that,
and I'm transferring

to a high school in China.

That color's all wrong for you.

Hey, Mal, you doing okay?

(sighs)
I don't know, Alex.

I'm so disappointed.

I mean, I never thought

the fashion world
would be like this.

I had this, I had this vision

of, of, of what
it would be like.

That it'd be a bunch of
designers, all working together,

creating beautiful clothes.

Then people would pop
their heads into

other people's offices and say,
"Does this need a raglan sleeve

or a dolman sleeve
or a kimono sleeve?"

And I'd say,

"No, a regular set-in
drop sleeve will be fine."

And then we'd all laugh
and go to lunch.

Yeah, that'd be great, Mal.

Course, there's a fine line

between what you're describing
and a mental institution.

Mal, you're good, you know?

Your-your designs
were the best in the show.

Nobody can take that away
from you.

Thanks.

(knocking)

Oh, it's Jamie.

All right, well,
good night, Mal.

Good night.

And, uh, Mal, count
the silverware when she leaves.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Can I come in?
- Sure.

What are you doing here?

I mean, it seemed to me that
there was nothing more to say.

Oh, yes, there is.

I told David.

You told him? Why?

Because I couldn't live
with myself.

How could I do that
to someone like you?

How could I do that at all?

You don't need to steal, Jamie.

I mean, I've seen your work...
it's incredible.

Maybe you're
in a slump right now,

but you'll come out of it.

You know, when I saw
your sketches,

they were so wonderful.

They were so alive
and fresh and...

They reminded me
of what I was once.

I think I almost convinced
myself they were mine.

I-I'm so sorry, Mallory.

Can you forgive me?

Yeah, I can forgive you.

'Cause you know, I was thinking.

If my designs were good enough
for someone like you to steal,

then they're good enough
for someone to buy.

And maybe I really do have
what it takes.

You definitely do.

You know, I told David
about your other sketches,

how good they are...

and he wants to meet with you.

- Really?
- Uh-huh.

That's great. Thanks.

Mallory, you're really
gonna go far.

Maybe, one day, you can even
give me some pointers.

Oh, you know,
I have one of your skirts.

And to tell you the truth,
in the back,

(imitating Yvette's accent):
It's a little bunchy.



MAN:
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.

(Ubu barks)