[Seagulls calling] - are you ready, kids?
Kids: aye, aye, captain!
- I can't hear you!
Kids: aye, aye, captain!
- ♪ Ohhhhh!
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
♪ under the sea?
- ♪ Spongebob squarepants
- ♪ absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪
- ♪ spongebob squarepants
- ♪ if nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪
- ♪ spongebob squarepants
- ♪ then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪
- ♪ spongebob squarepants
- ready? All: ♪ spongebob squarepants
♪ spongebob squarepants
♪ spongebob squarepants
- ♪ spongebob squarepants
ha ha ha ha ha!
♪
[Surf rushing, seagulls calling]
[light ukulele music]
♪
Both: [snoring]
- ♪ makin' it clean, I'm living a dream ♪
♪ makin' the scene
♪ I'm makin' it clean
♪ I'm makin' it clean
♪ I'm makin' it
♪ clean
- hey, buddy, what are you cleaning for?
- 'Cause I'm expecting some very important company.
- Who's that? - My big sister sam.
- Wow! I didn't know you had a sister.
- Nobody does.
I lost her in the surf when we were kids.
- Gee, I'm sorry, patrick.
- Sam took care of me
when I was just nursing on coral.
She was my-- [sniffles]
my...[Sniffling] my...
Rock!
[Sobbing]
- it's gonna be okay.
You're gonna see her again today!
Right? Today?
Come on, cheer up, buddy.
Hey, I'll make sure her visit here
will be extra-super-special, no matter what!
- Thanks, man. You're right.
I can't wait to make up for our lost years.
- Would you two pipe down?
- Sorry.
I was getting my place ready for my sister!
- Well, I hope she's not as obnoxious as you!
[Vehicle approaches]
[tires screech]
[pounding footsteps]
- sam!
- [Growls]
[heavy breathing]
brubber!
- Sis!
- Heh...heh heh...hah!
- It's so good to see you.
- You...sister sam
have much catch up to do!
- Hoo! Whoa!
You pack a wallop, sis!
Oof!
Sam, this is my best friend spongebob.
- Yeah, patrick and I go back a long way.
[Both laughing] long way.
- Long way.
- Yellow square
touch brubber!
Make sister sam...
Mad!
- I cleaned my rock just for you.
- Aah!
Oh!
- Hey, let's go inside and play.
- House too small.
Make bigger.
- Hey, great idea.
I'll just go get some tools and--
- no! - Uh--huh?
- I have all tools here.
- Oh, dear neptune, didn't you hear me?
[Gagging]
- thanks, sis.
- Sister sam loves to make rock
for brubber.
- Well, "make rock" someplace else!
My house is full of sand!
- If big nose no like sand...
Big nose move!
[Grunting]
[objects crashing]
- this is way beyond my property line.
Hey, patrick,
that oaf makes a better bulldozer than a sister!
[Laughs]
construction humor.
- No laughing!
- No, no, don't be upset with squidward.
He doesn't mean it. Do you, squidward?
- Oh, I mean it, all right. She's a big buffoon...
Like patrick!
Except bigger. And dumber.
And buffoonier.
- [Growling]
- oh, squidward, you jokester.
- [Snorting]
- um, do you think she looks a little...miffed?
- Rrrr!
[Whimpers]
[sobbing]
those boys mean!
They pick on sister sam!
- Shame on you two! Look what you've done!
- Look what <span>we've</span>done?
[Rumbling]
[whistling sound] - aah!
- Golly gee diddly, clint. That was a nice toss.
- Weren't me, tucker. My money's on the little missy
over yonder.
- Aw... Hey, sis.
Don't listen to those meanies.
- [Snuffling]
- the new rock, it's lookin' kinda...
Uh...boring.
What do you say we decorate it?
- Blecorate?
- You could call it whatever you like, sis,
just as long as we make it spiffy.
- [Grunting]
- make new house...spiffy!
Ha! Spiffy.
- Hey, you can't do that!
That's my window!
[Crash]
- [chortling]
blecorate.
- That's the spirit, sis! - Oh, no.
That is definitely not the spirit, patrick.
Your sister is outta control!
- Hey! Just mind your own business
and let us blecorate in peace.
- You can blecor--decorate until the sea cows come home,
for all I care!
Just do not use my property to do it!
[Gasps]
- more spiffy! Hee!
- But that's from...
My house!
That's it!
I have had my fill of this thieving brute!
- How dare you call my sister a thief!
Just--just 'cause she took some of your things.
- Easy now, gents. Let's not let tempers flare.
Now, don't you think, patrick,
that it's a teensie bit unfair
that sister sam dismantled squidward's house?
- No. I don't.
Not even a teensie,
eensie...
Teensie bit.
I see now that not only have you turned against my sister,
you've turned on your best friend as well!
- It's not like that at all, patrick.
I just-- - shush.
Meanies make brubber's eyes water!
Meanies go home!
Uhh!
- Wha!
- Come on, sis.
They can't bother us under our rock.
- Meanies is mean.
- [Muttering angrily]
- squidward?
Oh! Wait! Squidward, wait!
Before you do anything too rash,
let me try to talk to them.
- The time for talk is over!
Now is the time for action!
A rock made out of sand by two idiots
is no match for one carved from the--
[grunts]
tides of time!
- I don't think you should do that!
- Who cares what you think?
If it's destruction they want,
it's destruction they'll get!
Aah! - Who makes noise?
Oh!
Spiffy broken!
Sister mad!
- Oof!
- Now, sam, it's not what it seems.
Squidward was just rearranging the spiffy.
- [Growling]
sister sam rearrange now!
- Please don't.
Well, squidward, on the bright side,
this will motivate you
to finally take care of that kitchen remodel.
Right, squidward? Huh?
Hmm. Must be eager to get started.
- [Chortling]
both: huh?
- Oh, squidward! Squidward, stop!
Just calm down, buddy.
Let's ease that tentacle off the accelerator, hmm?
- Oh... You mean like <span>this?</Span>
- wow!
- Sweet destruction!
[Dramatic music]
♪
- That'll teach those meanies.
- You're still my rock, big sis.
- Patrick, I think your sister's temper
is getting out of control.
- Spongebob, why are you still saying mean things about sam?
- She destroyed my house in a fit of rage!
She needs to control her temper!
- I guess she can get a little carried away.
- What patrick doing?
Why patrick talk to meanies?
- Well, um...um...
It's about your temper, sam.
- No have temper!
This makes sister sam
so mad!
Sister sam
put on mean face!
[Growling]
now smash brubber house!
- Not the rock!
- [Growling]
patrick? Little brubber?
Little brubber?
Little brubber no wake.
- Patrick?
[Harp music]
- [sniffing]
- cookie dough.
- Patrick okay!
Sister sam feel bad.
Sorry she hurt patrick.
Should protect little brubber!
She go now! - Sis, no, hold on!
Oh, don't feel sad.
You don't have to go!
- Yes! Sister sam must go.
Late for manicure.
Bye, brubber.
- [Strangled] bye, sis.
Oof! [Wheels screech]
[ukulele music]
♪
Gee, isn't my sister somethin'?
- Oh, she's somethin', all right!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
[Light ukulele music]
♪
[Eerie music]
♪
- Almost done.
Could you hand me that wrench, spongebob?
- Nuh-uh-uh!
Lab partner. - Huh?
- You called me spongebob. I thought we agreed
to address each other by our proper titles.
- Spongebob! - Uh, uh, uh! Lab partner.
- There! It's finished.
Now I can hide my nuts back in texas
without leavin' my lab!
[Triumphal music]
♪
It worked!
Hooray! - We did it!
- Aw, nuts.
[Ominous music]
♪
- Finally... The day has come!
- You mean thursday?
- No. It is the day I steal the krabby patty secret formula
from crabs.
- And why, pray tell, is today different
from the other days you failed to steal it?
- Because today I've completed my greatest invention!
Behold!
What, exactly, am i... <Span> beholding?</Span>
a vegetable steamer?
- This is no ordinary vegetable steamer,
karen, my computer wife.
It's my latest invention, and isn't she a beauty?
Meow!
- Oh...brother.
- Sweetie, you're gonna help me achieve
my divine purpose, aren't you?
Yes!
And steal the krabby patty recipe!
Hee hee hah hah hah hah!
[Ding] ♪ it's ready!
Oh, boy.
Whew!
Man, is it hot in here.
- Tell me about it.
- It worked!
In this new gaseous form,
I'll be able to silently squeeze
through the cracks of the krusty crab.
[Laughing]
hah hah hah hah hah!
- Money, money, money, money,
money, money, money, money.
- Hee hee hee hee hee!
- Now, how much was-- - [chortling]
[farting sound]
- hmm. [Sniffing]
eew!
- Finally, the moment has come!
- No! No, no, no, no!
[Pfft...pop]
noooo!
[Pfft]
- [sniffing] eeh!
- Aah!
Hey! Cut it out!
- Plankton, is that you?
- Of course it's me, you moron.
- You were able to convert yourself
into gaseous form?
Fascinatin'!
- Huh? Wait!
- [Whistling]
I guess I never realized
you were such a student of science.
Maybe you could help me fix my nut transporter.
- Huh? Did you say transporter?
Hmm...
Interesting.
Hey! Maybe if I combine this device with my own invention,
the krabby patty formula will be mine!
I mean, I think I have the right parts in my lab, maybe.
- We're in business!
Say...this is a dandy lab.
- Is that good? - [Giggles]
does a pig play poker? - I guess.
- I shoulda visited you before...
What with you and me bein' the only two scientists in town.
- Ha ha. Yes.
- [Grunting]
- yes, sir. Your lab is amazing.
- Do you really like it? - And how!
- [Groaning]
here's your teleporter, lab partner.
- Thanks, spongebob.
- Please call me lab partner.
- So...where do I hook up my teleporter?
- Oh, just plug it into that doohickey over there.
- Just who are you callin' a doohickey?
- Wowee! Is that a real mark surplus wife-o-matic?
She is beautiful!
- [Giggles] oh, why, thank you!
- No, no <span>that</span>doohickey.
This doohickey!
Just plug your teleporter into my device,
and with our combined might, we shall conquer the world!
[Panting heavily]
- uh-huh.
Or I can combine your gasifier with my invention
and transform my nuts into a gaseous cloud
that transports them back to texas!
- [Exhales] yes, that's...what I meant.
- Yes! It's workin' at last...
New lab partner!
- Oh...
I guess you won't be needing me anymore.
- That's right!
And don't let the door hit you on the way out!
- Hold on! You can't go, spongebob!
We need you. - What?
He'll just get in the way.
- Need me? [Sniffles]
how could I help? I'm not even a...
[Sniffles] scientist.
- Why, you'll have the most important job of all.
You'll be our test monkey.
- Test monkey?
Ooh-ooh-ah-ah-ah! Uh-uh-uh-uh!
Test monkey reporting for duty.
- A test monkey?
I've never had a test monkey before!
[Sniveling]
there <span>is</span>some mad scientist in you after all!
Hee hee hah hah hah!
- Hah hah hah hah! - [High-pitched tittering]
[tittering]
- okay, we really have to work on your evil laugh.
- Ready! - Roger!
- Ugh!
Just a sec.
[Grunting]
whoa!
[Pfft]
- hey, who turned out the lights?
- Ugh! We only teleported his eyes!
- Oh, boy. Try again.
- Where is that idiot spongebob?
Leaving me stuck with all the cooking.
This job stinks!
[Pfft]
ooh. Literally.
- Aah!
Mr. Krabs! You gotta come with me!
There's something in the kitchen you gotta see!
- Oh, well.
[Thud] - oh!
- Try again.
[Pfft]
- see for yourself! Huh?
[Pfft] - [sniff sniff]
eh!
I see.
So it was you that befouled me office earlier, was it?
- Just a few more adjustments..
- Okay...
Let her rip!
- Do you think this is a good look for me?
Or is it a bit too flashy?
- Stand clear!
- Clear of what?
Aah!
- Something weird is going on around here.
[Pfft]
- hi, squidworth. - Aah!
Mr. Krabs!
There's a strange sound coming from the restroom!
- Hmm. Now only his mouth is missin'.
- Shut it down.
[Pfft] - [gasps]
for cryin' out loud, squidward.
What the heck is wrong with you?
[Pfft]
- test three!
- I cannot believe
I have to deliver all this junk food myself!
Aah!
What the--
huh?
Oh, thank you.
Aah! [Thud, crash]
[music volume raises]
[pfft]
- look, no hands! Or feet.
Ha ha ha! - Well, we're gettin' closer.
Goggles!
- Shall we activate it together?
- Why, sure enough!
Three! - Two!
- One!
- Fire!
Ow.
[Powering up hum]
[pfft]
- ooh, I gotta go to the bathroom.
[Pfft]
- oh!
Neptune's trousers, squidward!
Maybe you should just lay off the broccoli for a while.
- It worked!
We transported his whole body this time!
- Yes! My plan worked!
And now I have no further use for you two goody-goodies!
Using your technology,
I shall teleport myself directly to the krusty crab,
and the krabby patty formula
♪ will be mine!
[Chortling]
- oh, no. Plankton has finally won!
And we... We helped him.
- Not exactly!
Lab partner.
[Beep]
- the krabby patty formula!
But if that's here... Where's plankton?
- Fools!
I played them like a -bit synthesizer!
[Chortling]
now, where is that formula?
The formula is gone?
[Muffled] nooooooo!
- Do you hear something? - I don't hear a thing.
But something stinks.
- Aw, I knew plankton was hatching an evil plan
the whole time.
So I just adjusted the controls
to put plankton where he can't do any harm.
Nobody fools a squirrel from texas!
[Tittering]
[chortling]
ah hah hah hah hah hah!
07x26 - Big Sister Sam/Perfect Chemistry
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.