05x12 - My Mother, My Friend

[bunniefuu]

♪ I bet we've been together ♪

♪ For a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be together ♪

♪ For a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember ♪

♪ What I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing ♪

♪ We can't love each other
through ♪ ♪ ooh, ohh ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us ♪

♪ Sha la la la ♪♪

[Sighs]

Oh, come on, jen.
Time's up. Make a move.

I can't make a word
with these letters...

"X," "y," "g," "z," and "q."

I forfeit my turn.

Forfeit? Wh... Did
you say forfeit?

Yes, I did. If I had the letters,
I'd spell it out for you.

N-no, jen. No, no, no.

A keaton never forfeits.

Keatons battle
till the bitter end.

A keaton would
rather die fighting

Than give up.

Ok, here's my word.

"Cat." "Cat." Did you
see that, dad? "Cat."

See what?

With a plethora of
interesting letters

To choose from,

Your daughter spells "cat."

Jennifer, pack your bags.

Alex, this isn't world w*r iii.

We're just playing scrabble.

Well, you know, that's
your problem, jennifer.

Everything is a game to you.

Calm down, potato head.

Potato head... You called me
that when you were years old.

I'm in college now. I
deserve a little respect.

Sorry. mr. potato head.

You need a neutral third party

To demilitarize the game.

Deal me in.

What's wrong?

Dad, alex and I
love you very much,

And you're a wonderful father,

But you know you cannot
play a game of scrabble

Without getting
completely out of control.

What are you talking about?

Oh, come on, dad. You're the
only guy in the history of scrabble

To be called for
unnecessary roughness.

Alex, come...

Hey, you two are just in time for
a good old scrabble tournament.

You aren't actually going
to play, are you, steven?

Why not?

Well, you know
what the doctor said.

You're subject to
nervous exhaustion

Due to intense
scrabble exposure.

Last time you played, you
missed work for a week.

Hey, how about you,
mal? You want to play?

Good way to learn the alphabet.

No, thanks. I have a friend
coming over any minute.

We're going to study.

Yeah, right.

No, really, a very good friend.

We met in line at registration.

We're both under the "k" s.

Well, that's an
unbreakable bond.

She's really nice.
She's smart, too.

Yeah, right.

[Doorbell rings] oh, that's her.

Allison, hi. Hi.

Everyone, this is allison king.

This is my mom elyse. Hi.

And this is my dad steven,
my sister jennifer... Hi.

And... He lives here, too.

Nice to meet you.

So, uh, you go to grant, huh?

Are you majoring in undeclared
arts and clothes, like my sister?

No, it's architecture.

Oh, I'm an architect.
Mallory, you didn't tell me

That allison's an
architecture major.

I would love to see your
work sometime, mrs. Keaton.

Well, I'd love to show
it to you. Anytime.

Great. Ok. Allison, we
better start studying.

Ok, jennifer, read
them and weep.

"Lexicon." Points.

You know, you can
make a better word.

"Xenophobia" on a
triple word score

Would give you points.

Oh. Sorry. I don't mean
to disturb your studying,

But there's a small
w*r brewing out there,

And I had to get away.

Is dad losing again?

He's not just losing the game,

He's losing his mind.

He swears that
z-o-q-u-o, "zoquo,"

Is a word from the greek
meaning water sports.

Well, I hope they
give it to him.

I'd hate for him
to miss work again.

foundation in
structure, by curtis nevin.

This was my first
architecture text.

Really? Yeah.

"For the architect's
main responsibility"

"Finally is to translate
"is to translate

Both: "form and function
into vista and vision,

To create a place
for a man to soar."

Liberty and justice for all.

What are you studying, honey?

Oh, fashion...

Um, how its function
relates to form.

"For it's the fashioneer's
main responsibility

"To coordinate an outfit

"And to make a place

Where men and women
can keep from being naked."

That's very interesting, honey.

Mrs. Keaton. Oh, elyse, please.

Elyse?

I have a paper due in
my city planning class.

And I wondered if you would
mind if I interviewed you?

Mind? I'd love it.

I-i'm flattered.
I'm very flattered.

Oh. Well, good.

I've never been the
topic of a paper before.

Mom, I wrote a poem about
you in the third grade.

I love that poem,

But a paper is different.

Well, it probably won't rhyme.

Mom, you got to help
us. Dad's getting wild.

We had to give him "zoquo"

And promise to use it often
in casual conversation.

That's outrageous.

It is. But I told him I'm
going down to the "y"

And zoquo my brains out.

Well, come on, dad. Let's go.

It's your turn. You're
taking forever here.

I...

Pass.

Good, good. My turn.

Dad, why did you pass?

You're playing
right into his hands.

I'm in a rough spot
here, jennifer.

I have a "q" I'm trying
to get on the board,

But I can't seem
to find any "u" s.

That's because
alex has all of them.

He hoards the "u"s

So whoever gets the
"q" can't get rid of it.

Not exactly
sporting of you, alex.

Come on, dad. Look. Nowhere
on this instruction sheet

Is there a rule
against hoarding.

It's a perfectly fair and
brilliant defensive play,

And it's in keeping with
the integrity of the game.

Besides, I'm going to use these
letters to make a word here.

What kind of a word are you
going to make with three "u" s?

"Ushnuu."

From the greek.

It means "to towel off."

Use it in a sentence.

After I zoquo, I like to ushnuu.

Ok.

This is definitely
a new low point.

If you'll excuse me, I have to go
find a positive male role model.

I'll see if andy's
up from his nap.

Is mom back yet?

No. No. Wait a minute.

Wasn't she with,
uh, you and allison?

Yeah, we were
supposed to go shopping,

But there was some kind of exhibit at
the museum, so they went to that instead.

Well, why didn't you go?

Dad, they went to a museum.

Oh, sorry.

Let's go, dad. Make
a move. Your turn.

Uh, look. Uh, we've been at it
for a couple of hours, alex.

Why don't we
take a little break?

Sure, dad.

Oh. Pop, you want me to
call the office for you,

Tell them you won't
be in tomorrow?

I can't really say
that being a woman

Has been a hindrance
to my career.

Uh, no. No, I don't mean that.

It's just that it hasn't
made it any easier.

Hi.

Honey, oh!

What a day.

It was a fabulous exhibit.
We really missed you.

Being there with your mother was
like being there with a tour guide.

She knew every
inch of that museum.

It was like going
to a mall with you.

I'm really sorry you
didn't come, honey.

Yeah. I had a lot of
things to do today.

Oh. We saw kevin
hamilton at the museum.

Which... Which one
was kevin hamilton?

Uh, the one with the curly hair.

Oh, the jeans, the
red shirt, real cute?

Mom...

What? You're a mother.

You're not supposed to
notice things like that,

Like how cute kevin hamilton is.

Well, kevin hamilton
noticed your mother.

He asked her to the prom.

Mom?

I said no.

Look, allison, since we
couldn't go to the mall today,

I figured we could go tonight.

I noticed there's a
big sale at lazarus.

Oh, that sounds really great,
but elyse and I are gonna go

To this architecture
symposium on campus tonight.

Oh.

You might like it, honey. It's
about the greek revival period

In the early th century.

Ooh, that sounds
really tempting,

But, uh, to tell you the truth,

I've got to, uh, do some
extra credit homework

For geometry.

I'm going to crochet
a parallelogram.

Are you sure, honey?

Thanks for thinking of
me, but you guys go ahead.

Ok. Let's go play
steven this tape.

Oh, great.

"Xiphoid."

Now, with the triple word score,

And the -point bonus
for using all my letters,

It's points for me.

Your turn.

...

...

...

...

...

Ok. N-x-m-u-v.

Nxmuv.

No, I'm sorry, big fella.

I don't think there's any
such word as "nxmuv."

Look it up.

If you insist.

Oh, come on, alex.
He can't even spell.

Come on, andy.

W-wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Who am I gonna play with now?

Hey, I'll give you "nxmuv."

"Nxmuv" and points.

Nxmuv.

Alex...

Hey. Hey, mal, you want
to play? You want to play?

I'll give you rock
groups, give you slang,

Give you, uh, misspelled
words. No. Thanks.

Uh, can I talk to you
about something?

Yeah. What's up?

Look...

[Sighs] I don't know
if you've noticed,

But lately, mom and allison
have become very close.

Very, very close.

What, are you afraid
they're going to elope?

I'm completely left out of
it. There's no place for me.

They have the same interests,
the same tastes, the same likes.

Mallory, don't you see? It's your
fault for having such a smart friend.

I mean, you can't blame
mom for latching on to her.

Don't know when another
one is gonna show up.

Well, I'm sorry I brought it
up. I should have known better.

Look, mal, mallory, seriously...
You're making this thing

A whole lot bigger
than it really is. I am?

Yeah. Look, all that's
really happened here

Is that you've suddenly realized

That you and mom don't
have a lot in common

And that you'll never be
as close as you want to be.

It's no big deal.

All right, guys. Hey!

Hey, mom, what's
the champagne for?

Allison got an "a"

On her architecture
project about me.

Congratulations, allison.

Yeah, congratulations,
allison. Thanks.

Well. What's the occasion?

Uh, dad, allison got an "a"
on her architecture project.

I surprised mom didn't call
you at work to tell you.

Well, I think we have
something special here.

We have an "a" paper

Based on the career
of an "a" woman.

What do you say we go out
and celebrate at a restaurant

Approved by the a.a.a.?

I'm sorry. Heh.

Um, dad, we can't.
Allison and I have

A sorority meeting tonight.
In fact, we better get going.

Well, actually, you know, the
meeting's gonna be held here,

And it's gonna be a
party in honor of allison.

Oh.

It was your mom's idea.

That's great. It's
going to be great.

[Indistinct chattering]

Excuse me. Excuse me.

I'd like to make a toast.

To my good friend allison king,

Who is learning to
"translate form and function

"Into vista and vision

To make a place for
men and women to soar."

[All cheer]

Uh, excuse me.
Excuse me. I'd like to...

I'd like to make a little
toast myself. [Clears throat]

To all of you
lovely young ladies...

Especially those of you who are
not involved in serious relationships.

How you doing? Thanks.

A very heartfelt little
tribute you made there, alex.

Well, mom, you know, I
meant every word of it.

Thank you. I think you can
go back to the kitchen now.

Right. Hey, how you doing?

You having a good
time? Oh, great.

I'm just sitting here
wondering which of my friends

Mom is going to steal next.

I hope it's not the
blonde in the corner.

I'm gonna put the moves on her.

Oh, wait, wait, wait,
wait, what? What?

What's going on?

Uh, allison wants to
teach me this dance.

We're gonna teach your
mother how to slam spin.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait
a minute. Wait a minute.

You can't slam spin at your age.

Well, I guess I'm going to try.

[Music plays]

[Girls cheering]

How's it going out there, alex?

Fabulous, dad, fabulous. Mom's got
them eating out of the palm of her hand.

Sh-she's dancing.
She's having a ball.

Dancing? Good.

This is quite a comment
on our times, isn't it, dad?

How so?

Well, the girls are
out there dancing,

Uh, having a party,
and cutting loose, and...

We're in here making
mushroom swirls.

I think it's a nice
comment, alex.

And it's just fine with me.

I'm comfortable with this role.

Oh, come on, dad.
Men are hunters.

We're... We're warriors.
We're explorers.

We're not hors d'oeuvre makers.

All right. Maybe we are
hors d'oeuvre makers.

[Laughter and cheering]

You were great.

Don't you ever do that.

You really are amazing.

Hey, what do you say
about joining our sorority?

I'll tell you what's funny...
When I was in college,

I knew nothing about sororities.

The sixties just
weren't about that.

It's hard imagining you
as part of the sixties.

Oh, yeah. Did you
know the beatles?

Elyse, I don't
know how you do it.

I know I have a hard enough time just
going to classes and studying for tests

And going on a date once
in a blue moon. Heh heh.

How do you manage to
keep your life in order?

Yeah, how do you fit it all in?

I mean, wife, mother,
career woman.

Sometimes, I guess it's just a
case of priorities, you know?

Elyse, I got a question.

Mmm, yeah?

Don't you think there's a tendency
for a mother to compensate

To overcome a feeling of
guilt about absence from home

By becoming too intensely
involved in their children's lives?

Um, I'm not sure I understand.

What I'm trying to say is that when a
woman decides to become a mother,

She should just be a mother, and all these
other things complicate her life so much

That she can't decide who she is

Or what she should be doing or
who she should be doing it with.

I'm sorry, honey. I'm
not sure I follow you.

Why are you doing
with my friends?

This is my life, and
these are my friends,

And you're my mother!

Why don't you act your own age?

[Sobbing]

Ladies, clam puffs.

Hmm? Hmm?

Hey, dad. Oh. Hi, alex.

I was hoping it
might be mallory.

Oh, she's not home yet?

No. And, uh, I think your mother's
starting to get a little worried.

It's late. Where have you been?

Well, I had to, uh,

Drive a few of the girls home.

Alex, you... You left
three hours ago.

Well, come on. It takes
a long time, you know...

Walk them to the door,

Go inside, have a cup of coffee,

Collect the gas money.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just, uh, making
some sandwiches

For, uh, lunch tomorrow...
Jennifer and andy.

[Clears throat]

We, uh...

We don't eat the
fruit, you know.

Hmm?

Kids...

I... I mean, first, we,
uh, go for the cookies,

And then the drink,

And then the sandwich, maybe.

But, uh, we chuck the fruit.

Well, I know. But as a father,

I'm sworn to include a piece
of fruit with every lunch.

All right.

Oh, hey, dad. Quick
game? What do you say?

Oh, no, alex. It's after
midnight. I'm exhausted.

Come on, I'll
handicap myself, ok?

Alex, please. Let's have
a little self-control.

Enough's enough.

All right. Ok.

I'm getting a little
tired, anyway.

Ok. Come on.

Hi.

Hi.

Where have you been?

Out driving.

Honey, i... I didn't realize

This was affecting
you the way it was.

I... I just didn't
pick up on it at all.

I'm sorry.

It's ok.

I know that you and allison

Have a lot more in
common than you and I do.

And I know that you like
being friends with allison.

Is that what you're upset about?

You... You think I like
allison more than I like you?

Well...

You're my honey.

I love you.

You don't have to say this, mom.

I should have made this
clear a long time ago.

I'm thrilled with who you are.

You... You have a
gentleness and a sweetness

And an ability to make people
feel good about themselves.

You're very special.

Thanks.

I'm sorry I overreacted.

Well, I'll tell you, honey,
you'll do yourself a big favor

If you don't bottle
things up inside like that.

You know, if you're
unhappy, tell us.

You know, let us know
how you're feeling.

Give us a clue.

All right.

During the past few weeks,

I think you've been
acting kind of childish.

Good. That's the idea.

I don't think it's fair

That I should have to come home

From my dates by midnight.

All right, that's something

We can... We can think
about and discuss.

Lately, your meals

Have left something
to be desired.

You don't have to say
everything right away.

A little mystery doesn't hurt,

But you have the basic idea.

Heh.

You know, we really have
to try to communicate more.

We really have to try to
spend more time together.

After all, you know...

These are very special times.

You're not always
going to be here.

What do you mean?

Well, you know, in a few years,

You're just gonna be
coming home for the holidays.

Things are going to
be frantic and hurried.

Your mind will be
on other things,

And, well, I'll be
stuffing turkeys.

In between catching up
with jennifer and andy

And listening to alex tell us
how much money he's making...

We're probably
only going to have

A couple of hours
to talk. You know...

I'd hate to think that
we had nothing to say.

I don't think that can happen.

Lets go upstairs and talk.

Ok.

All right, dad.

One game, double or nothing.

I win, I get the
deed to the house.

Sit, ubu, sit.

Good dog. [Woof]