05x25 - Love Me Do

[bunniefuu]

♪ I bet we've been together ♪

♪ For a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be together ♪

♪ For a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember ♪

♪ What I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing ♪

♪ We can't love
each other through ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us ♪

♪ Sha la la la ♪

Pass the business section.

I'm not done yet.

How's the market
doing this morning?

Don't ask.

All right, ok, who's
got the editorial?

Me. There's a really
interesting piece

On the influence of
the early primaries

In the presidential campaign.

[Mouthing silently]

How's dennis the menace, mal?

Alex, for your information,

I'm reading the human
interest sections.

Fashion, health
and beauty guide.

You know, the world
could blow up...

You wouldn't even know about it.

I'd know about it
before you, alex.

Horoscope section.

Ah... Oh, good. I'm glad
you're all here. We gotta talk.

Does anybody know
what next thursday is?

Sure. It's mom's birthday.

And it's also the end of the
first quarter of the fiscal year.

Don't you hate it when
two festive occasions

Fall on the same day?

Well, look, I'd like to do
something special this year,

Like throw a surprise
party for your mother.

Oh, come on. Oh, dad,
that's so embarrassing.

What?

Look, dad, we know
you mean well,

But your surprise
parties never work.

That is not true. What about
the surprise party I planned

For andy's first birthday?

I knew about it months before.

This is gonna be different.

I've got the perfect plan.

Now, look,

You kids tell mom you
want to take her out

For a special birthday dinner.

[Kids groaning] at
the last moment,

I'll pretend I can't go because
of some emergency at the office.

Oh, she'll buy that, dad.
No, listen, listen, listen.

So, anyway, when you go out,

I'll come home and
I'll let the guests in,

And the food, I'll
get the food set...

What's going on?

Mm, nothing. Absolutely nothing.

All right, what's this about?

I can't take the pressure.

I wonder what's bothering andy.

I better go check on the kids.

Well, something's going on.

Oh-ho!

Hey, skippy. What's up?

Oh, not much. It's just
one of those rare evenings

Where I have no plans.

I thought maybe one of you
would like to go out tonight.

Uh, tell you what, skip, I'd
love to, but I got a date tonight.

I understand.

How about you, mal?

Ordinarily, I'd love to, skippy,

Um, but I'm busy tonight.

A friend's coming
over to pick me up.

We're going to
study at the library.

Maybe I'll come along.

I can turn pages for you

And sharpen pencils.

I make a good paperweight.

Maybe some other time.

Skip, I'll tell you what.

You know, I could call
and cancel my date.

We could do something.

Oh, no, no. That's
ok, alex. I'll be fine.

I'll go home, work
on my posture.

Yeah.

Ok, pal.

Hello.

Hello.

I'm here to pick up mallory.

Oh, right. Yes, come in, please.

Won't you sit down?

Sure. Thank you.

Can I get you
something to drink?

No, thank you.

I'm skippy handleman.

Hi. I'm amy sussman.

So you're the one who's
going to the library with...

Mallory.

Right. Right.

We're in psychology class
together at grant college.

I go to grant.

I don't think I've
ever seen you there.

Well, I spend most of my time
locked away in the science library.

I'm premed.

Oh, well, that explains
it. See, I'm not premed.

What are you, prelaw?

No. I'm sort of...

Premature.

What I mean is, I haven't really
found the classes I want to take.

Well, that's ok. Choosing
a career is a big decision.

No, I mean I physically
can't find my classes.

Amy? Oh, I thought I saw
your car. Are you ready?

Ok. Uh-huh.

Well, it was nice
meeting you, skippy.

I hope I see you around campus.

Me, too.

Bye.

Bye.

Uh, can we, uh, can we
talk to you for a moment?

Yeah. What's up?

Well, um...

As you know, your
birthday is next week,

And... And we'd...

We'd like to take you out

For a special birthday dinner.

Right.

Oh, oh, that's...
That's very sweet,

But I thought we'd just
stay home that night,

Quiet family dinner here.

All right, look, mom,

Um, ok, we didn't want
to have to tell you this,

But dad is planning a
surprise party for you.

You're kidding.

I'm real sorry, mom.

Part of the plan was for
us to take you out to dinner.

All right. I'll go upstairs

And I'll tell him
how excited I am

About going out to
dinner on my birthday.

Whoa, mom, mom, mommy?

Um...

Listen, since, uh, since we
are taking you out to dinner...

You know, we planned this
elaborate party for you...

Uh, will you still
be expecting gifts?

No, that's fine, honey.
I still haven't used

That beautiful blank
check you gave me last year.

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, I'll get it.

Yeah?

Oh, good. Uh, mallory,

I need to talk to
you for a minute.

Ok. Go.

Mallory, I can't stop thinking
about your friend amy.

You like amy?

Like her? I spent
the whole day today

Just following
her around campus.

Not only did I fall in love, I
found a lot of my classes.

She's coming over in a
minute. You should ask her out.

She's coming here, now?

I got to go.

What's the big deal?

Well, mallory, I can't
ask a girl out on a date.

You've asked me
out on lots of dates.

But that's different. I
know you're gonna say no.

There's no pressure.

[Doorbell rings]

That's her. I can't speak.

I'll go out the back door.

Skippy, sit!

Hi, mallory. Amy, hi.

Come on in.

Thanks.

Oh, hi, skippy.

Ahs fas mas.

Amy, before we start,
skippy has something

He'd like to ask you.

Amy, skippy would like to know

If you'd like to go
out on a date with him.

Why, sure, I'd like that.

How about tomorrow night?

I think that'll be fine.

Tomorrow night
ok with you, skippy?

[Grunts]

So, how long have
you known mallory?

All my life.

Oh, yeah, mallory's been hung
up on me since we were kids.

Well, I hope I'm not barging
in on her territory here.

No, no, that
territory is wide open.

Have you decided yet?

Yes, I believe we have.

What is the most
expensive dish on the menu?

That would be the swordfish
with lemon butter at $ .

Skippy, that's too expensive.

No, no, no, no. I can handle it.

My dad said we could
use his american express.

We don't take american express.

Skippy, it's all right.
I've got some money.

Would you mind giving
us a few more minutes?

Not at all, ma'am.

And may I suggest that you
act as the representative

From your table for
the rest of the evening?

Amy, this is not going
the way I planned.

I'm embarrassing you,
I'm embarrassing me.

No, you're not.

Look, let's just
get out of here.

Woman: oh! Oh, my goodness!

Ok, that was a
little embarrassing.

I'm sure if we sit
down and calm down

That everything will be fine.

Amy, look, I have to admit,

I'm very nervous about this.

I just... I can't believe

That you agreed
to go out with me.

Why not?

You are sweet,

And you're funny,

And you're cute.

Is there someone paying
you to say these things?

No.

In that case,

This is the greatest
moment of my life.

I wish I could be sh*t
and stuffed right now

So it would never end.

Ok, dad, tonight's the night.

The reservations
are all set for : ,

And mom doesn't suspect a thing.

This is going great.

She's going to
have a great ti...

Ah, so, jen, uh, congratulations
on that nobel prize.

What?

Good cover, dad.

So, you, uh, looking forward
to your dinner this evening?

Oh, oh, very much.

I'm just sorry that
you can't make it.

How do you think I feel?

I'm ready to go, I get a call,

Big emergency
down at the station.

Locusts.

They're all over the building.

I, uh...

I think I should be down there.

You're very brave.

[Knock on door]

I'll get it. That's...

Surprise! Surprise!

Happy birthday! Happy
birthday! Happy birthday!

Roger, christine, what
are you doing here?

We're here for
elyse's surprise party.

Nice going. You're
only hours early.

Look, we're really sorry.

Why don't we just leave
our present and go.

The whole thing is ruined now.

You might as well
keep the present.

They were always
our stupidest friends.

Honey, I'm sorry.

You must have worked
awfully hard on this party.

Oh, it's not me
I'm worried about.

I just feel bad for the kids.

You know, uh...

We could pretend
that nothing happened.

We, uh...

Really.

We could go through
with the party.

I... I think it would
mean a lot to the kids.

It's a fine plan, steven.

Excuse me.

Hoo hoo hoo! Ha ha ha ha!

I'd keep an eye on mom, dad.

I don't think she's gonna
make it to the surprise party.

Hey. Alex...

Hi. Can we come in?

Yeah, skip, amy, how you doing?

Good. How are you?
Good to see you guys.

Haven't seen you in a long time.

Well, you know how it is, alex.

The old ball and chain
keeps me on the run.

Is mallory home?

Mm-hmm. She's upstairs, amy.

Thanks.

See you later, honey bear.

Sometimes she
calls me honey bear.

I heard.

Well, it's nice to see
you so happy, skippy.

Oh, I really am, alex. I'm
as happy as I've ever been.

Amy is the greatest
girl in the world.

I love everything about her.

The way she looks,
the way she talks,

The way she chews her food.

I bet she chews each
bite or times.

Don't let her go, skip.

But, alex, there's a problem.

Now, everything's going
great between me and amy.

And tonight she asked me
to go over to her dorm room.

Usually her roommate's
there and everything's fine,

But tonight, we're gonna
be alone for the first time.

Ah, I see.

I'm not an experienced
guy like you, alex.

I don't know what to do.

I'm years old,
and I've never...

You know.

Oh, skip, come on,
take it easy, all right?

A lot of -year-old
guys have never...

You know.

It seems like I'm the only one.

It'll happen naturally.

Ok? It's like a... It's
like a flower blossoms.

Like a tree sheds its leaves.

Like a branch reaches
for the sunlight.

What, it happened for
you in an arboretum?

It's gonna be more
difficult than I thought.

Alex, you've got to help me.

I don't know what to do. I
don't know what to wear.

All right, skip, look,

You are my oldest
and dearest friend, ok?

I can share this with you.

Now, there is a romantic formula

That's been very
successful for me in the past.

Now, you can remember it
very simply with one word.

Fiscal.

Fiscal?

Start out with
the first letter, "f."

It stands for female.

Make sure there's one there.

What does "i" stand for?

"I" is useful for
beginning sentences

Like, "I love you."

"I need you. I want you."

"I'd like you to lock the door."

This is the kind
of stuff I need.

"S."

Sensitivity.

Pretend you have some.

"C" is for caring.

Pretend you do.

"A."

"A" is for alex.

Think of me, you know?
Everything will be all right.

I bet "l" stands for love.

No. "L" is for lighting.

You want a warm,
romantic atmosphere.

I generally bring
my own lighting.

Hey, what are you
two talking about?

Oh, nothing, nothing.
Just, uh, guy talk.

What have you two
been talking about?

Girl talk.

Well, everything
seems to be in order.

Oh! We've got : dinner
reservations, so we'd better go.

All right, ok, take care, guys.

Bye. We will. See you later.

Did he talk to you
about tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, a little.

What, did she talk
to you about tonight?

Oh, a little. She's nervous.

Yeah. What did you say?

Well...

I just said that
there are no rules

Or plans to loving someone

And that if two people care
for and respect each other,

Everything will be fine.

What did you say?

Basically the same thing.

Well, here we are.

Yeah. It feels strange being
here without your roommate.

I miss mary beth.

Are... Are you sure she
won't be coming back tonight?

Well, she's visiting
her parents in alaska.

So she's probably
sleeping there.

I think I'll go get some water
and make some hot cocoa.

Ok. Uh,

I'll wait here just in case mary
beth does decide to come back.

Ok.

Let's see. "f is for female."

I got that.

"i is for I love
you, I need you,

i'd like you to lock the door."

Wait a minute, she won't
be able to get back in.

We lose our "f."

"Sensitive. Caring."

I am both of these things.

"a, think of alex."

All right.

Let's put...

There you go.

"l for lighting."

A romantic atmosphere.

No.

Ok.

Oh, yes.

Now we are prepared for
an evening of romance...

And a red alert.

I guess "l" could
also stand for lotion.

Whoa.

I need all the help I can get.

Skippy, have you been
developing photographs?

I just figured this would
make the room a little cozier.

Oh.

[Sniffs] are you
wearing cologne?

Me? No! No.

You probably put too
much perfume on tonight.

I don't wear perfume.

You don't? What's that stuff
over there on your dresser?

Formaldehyde.

At least I'll keep well.

Yeah. Well...

Would you like to have a seat?

Ok.

You mean over there.

Or I could go over there.

No, no, no, that's ok! Allow me.

So, here we are,

Just me and you...

A man and a woman.

Right.

One of each.

You know, they say these
things happen naturally.

I've heard that before.

Maybe it happened already.

Maybe it did.

So... Was it good for you?

Oh!

Are you ok?

I'm fine.

Oh... It was my fault.

No, no, no. I'm sorry.
I'm just so nervous.

I don't know... Me, too.

Something's not right,
something in the air.

Smoke.

Smoke, tension, whatever.

Skippy, the lamp is on fire!

The lamp is on fire!
The lamp is on fire!

Water! Get water!
Fast, water! Ah! Hot! Ah!

[Fire alarm] skippy! Please! Oh!

All right,
everybody, this is it!

Let's all get into position!

[All talking at once] shh! Shh!

Someone get the lights!

All right. Shh, shh.

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

Oh! Thank you, but
it didn't go that well.

Is alex here?

No, he's out with his mom
and andy and the girls.

You see, this is a surprise
party for mrs. Keaton.

Somebody's coming!

[All talking at once] shh! Shh!

Hide somewhere.

Get the lights again. Shh, shh!

[All whispering]

Surprise! Surprise!

Hi.

All right, everybody!
It's looking good!

We're just about
ready for the big one!

Hi there.

Hi.

You left in a hurry.

Amy, I'm sorry about tonight.

I ruined everything.

I was trying so hard

Just to make a nice
romantic evening...

It was romantic.

It was just a little smoky.

Amy, you are the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

You know, I feel more
comfortable with you

Than with anyone
else in the world.

I'm sorry I was acting
so crazy tonight.

It's just, I've never done
this kind of thing before.

I think we're both
just beginners at this.

So let's not rush it.

It doesn't matter
how fast we go,

Just as long as we go together.

You really like me.

I can't believe it.

It seems so... Unnatural.

Well, this came
off without a hitch.

Dad can really plan
these things, can't he?

It's worse than mine.

Hello! I'm home!

Steven.

Just a minute.

Uh, steven.

Oh, elyse.

Hey, look,
everybody! It's elyse!

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

Oh, wow! Hi, honey.

You surprised?

I had no idea.

Ok.

Great surprise party.

Yeah, well, we pretty much
wrote the book on surprises.

So, you two, how was your night?

Oh, alex, we had a great night.

Great. Good. You guys
are a great couple.

Thanks.

And thank you, mallory,
for introducing us.

Oh, it was my pleasure. I mean,
you are perfect for each other.

And just remember,
in a relationship,

It's best not to
intellectualize things too much.

Just listen to your hearts.

That's why nick and I have
such a perfect relationship.

We don't think about anything.

Like when a little
problem comes up,

We just pretend
we're wild birds.

We follow our natural instincts.

And then... And then something
magical and wonderful happens.

You fly south for the winter?

Well, it wasn't
easy getting here,

But the important thing is
we're all together on my birthday.

Yeah.

I love you all. Love you, too.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ Dear mom ♪
♪ dear elyse ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

[Cheering]

Sit, ubu, sit.

Good dog.

[Woof]