Yuri: If you're really married, then prove it to me.
Yuri: Kiss right here and now.
Loid: If that's all it takes...
Yor: What?!
Yor: A kiss? A kiss?!
Yor: Doesn't that mean... um...
Yor: Oh, yes. I've read somewhere that your first kiss tastes like lemons.
Yor: That'll go perfectly with this marinated fish.
Yor: Calm down, Yor! Get a hold of yourself!
Loid: Here I go.
Yor: O-O-O-One second, please.
Yor: There is no way I can do this sober.
Yor: Fank you for waiting...
Loid: Uh... right.
Loid: We don't have to do this if you don't want to.
Yor: This ish for my sake, as well. I will do my besht.
Yuri: What are you two whispering about?!
Yuri: Can you do it or not?!
Yuri: Prove to me that you're really a married couple!
Yor: Keep your mouf shut, Yuri.
Yor: We will now show you just how in wuv we are.
Yor: Here I come, darling.
Yor: Now, cwose your eyes.
Yuri: S-Sis!
Loid: Um... Yor?
Sign: SHOW OFF HOW IN LOVE YOU ARE
Yor: Sis...
Yuri: How lewd!
Little Yuri: Sis!
Little Yuri: Look! I scored the highest in my whole class!
Yor: Oh, how wonderful!
Yor: I'll reward you with a kiss.
Yor: Smooch!
Little Yuri: Sis...
Little Yuri: When I grow up...
Little Yuri: I'm gonna marry you.
Yor: Oh, my.
Yor: Then I guess I'll just have to wait patiently for you.
flashback Yor (Echo): ...wait patiently for you. ...wait patiently for you.
flashback Yor (Echo): ...wait patiently for you. ...wait patiently for you.
Yuri: You...
Yuri: You can't, Sis!
Yuri: Seeing you kiss another man in front of me is just...
Yuri: I won't allow—
Yor: Oh, I knew it...
Yor: I just can't!
Yuri: —itpppppbt!
Yor: No!
Anya: Izzit the end of the world?
Yor: Huh?! Um, Yuri?
Yuri: I see how it is, Sis.
Yuri: You're going to treat me like that just because I tried to stop you from kissing him.
Yuri: I guess you just couldn't wait to do naughty things with him!
Yuri: I was a fool to test you.
Yuri: Perhaps my feelings were what was truly being tested here!
Loid: Um... more importantly, you're bleeding.
Yuri: Loid Forger... You may lay claim on my sister's lips for now.
Yor: Wha—
Yor: What are you talking about?!
Yuri: Right... Well, I'll let you off the hook for today.
Yuri: But just remember—
Loid: No, really. You're bleeding.
Loid: Is this just normal for the Briars?
Yor: Are you all right, Yuri? You're about to fall over.
Yuri: I'm fine.
Loid: Did you really just say that?
Yuri: Well, so are you, Sis.
Yor: Shall I call you a taxi?
Yuri: I'm fine. You're such a worrywart, Sis.
Loid: Whoa, there!
Yuri: Wipe that smirk off your face!
Yuri: Are my failures that amusing to you?!
Loid: Er, no. I was just admiring what lovely siblings you are.
Loid: You must have always been there for each other.
Loid: Yuri, thank you for protecting Yor up until now.
Loid: I'm sure you've been through many hardships.
Loid: I'll also do everything I can to be there for her from now on,
Loid: so let's do everything we can to make sure Yor is happy.
Yuri: Like I'd ever ask for your help!
Yuri: Forget it! I'm going home!
Loid: Feel free to come over anytime!
Loid: I'm sure that'll make Yor happy.
Loid: You should come when my daughter's awake next time.
Yor: Miss Anya was doing everything she could to stay up to meet you.
Yor: She's absolutely precious, so I hope you'll play with her.
Yuri: I don't need him to invite me! I'll be back!
Yuri: Next time, I'll prove that you're tricking my sister!
Yor: I am not being tricked!
Yuri: Now, hear me, Loid Forger.
Yuri: If you make my sister cry even a little bit,
Yuri: I will have you ex—
Yuri: Um... well, you know.
Yuri: Just know that you'll rue the day!
Yor: Be careful getting home, dear!
Yuri: Sis!
Yor: Be mindful of your yelling! It'll disturb the neighbors!
Loid: Was he about to say he'd have me ex*cuted?
Loid: I should be careful.
Loid: Any wiretaps?
Loid: Looks like we're clear.
Loid: Since he's with the secret police...
Loid: Well, because he's her brother, he may just try that.
Loid: I need to be on my guard.
Yor: Loid, thank you very much.
Yor: I'm a bit embarrassed to say so,
Yor: but thank you for welcoming him into your family, despite his rudeness.
Loid: Yuri clearly loves you very much, Yor.
Loid: I don't have any family or friends I can rely on, other than my daughter,
Loid: so I admit that I was a little envious of you two.
Yor: Loid...
Loid: Though my daughter is also just part of a pretend family.
Loid: Well, anyway. I'm glad he didn't find out about our pretend marriage.
Yor: Yes.
Yor: I'm suddenly very tired, now that I'm relieved.
Yor: Why don't we head to bed after we clean up?
Loid: Er, in separate beds, of course! I'll change things back!
Yor: R-Right.
Anya: Papa... Pwease save Earth...
Yor: Now, Yuri... You'll make me mad if you hit Loid...
Loid: I can't remember the last time I felt envious of another.
Loid: I should sleep. I'm sure I'm just exhausted.
Loid: Yet my mission still continues on tomorrow.
Yuri: I beg your pardon.
Yuri: Which way is the station?
Passerby A&B: Get to the hospital first, pal!
Anya: Morning, pwease.
Anya: You seem very green today, Papa.
Loid: Quit talking in your sleep and go wash your face.
Yor: Good morning!
Yor: It's too bad you didn't get to meet Yuri yesterday.
Anya: Who's that?
Yor: Huh?! But she was so looking forward to meeting him!
Loid: Things sure did get lively yesterday.
Yor: I'm very sorry.
Loid: Who'd have thought Yor's brother would be like that?
Anya: Oh! Unkie!
Loid: And he's part of the secret police, my greatest foe as a spy.
Anya: S-Secret police?!
Anya: What's that?
Anya: "Secret" plus "police"...
Anya: That sounds so exciting!
Anya: Why didn't you introduce me to him?!
Anya: Gimme back the excitement I wasted!
Loid: You wanted to meet him that badly?
Loid: Well, at least the storm has passed for now.
Loid: I need to concentrate on Anya's education.
Loid: Come on, hurry up and eat. You'll be late.
Anya: Om... nom...
Yor: Don't worry, you'll see be able to see him soon.
Loid: Has the thr*at truly passed?
Loid: Yor Briar, whose younger brother is a member of the secret police...
Loid: Previously, there was nothing suspicious surrounding her.
Loid: She didn't seem to know what her brother's true occupation is,
Loid: so my intuition says she's still clear.
Loid: Besides, if she knew her brother worked at the State Security Service,
Loid: there'd be no concern over suspicions arising about her being single.
Loid: No, it's dangerous to be too certain.
Loid: What if she was just acting and this was all a lie to get closer to me?
Loid: Suspect everything, Twilight.
Anya: Papa, Mama is...
Loid: What is it?
Anya: Mama is...
Anya: bad at cooking.
Yor: So it was obvious that I made breakfast this morning!
Yor: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
Yor: I did do my best.
Loid: Ah, by the way, Yor...
Yor: Yes?
Loid: Er, I just...
Loid: I guess putting a listening device on her is going too far.
Loid: No, I need to silence any doubts now.
Loid: Even a moment's carelessness could mean death.
Loid: It could also mean the lives of tens of thousands of people.
Loid: I need to do this to prove Yor's innocence.
Loid: You've got something on your neck.
Yor: Huh? Thank you very much.
Yor: That startled me. I thought he was going to give me a kiss goodbye.
Anya: Wha?!
Yor: I s-still haven't forgotten about last night...
Yor: I can't kiss or even cook.
Yor: Loid managed to smooth things over last night,
Yor: but I'm probably not acting like a proper wife.
Yor: I may be imagining it, but Loid seems a bit more distant today.
Yor: Maybe he's gotten sick of me being so disappointing.
Loid: I need to be on my guard.
Loid: What's the matter, Anya?
Anya: Mama and Papa need to get along.
Loid: W-Well, we aren't fighting or anything.
Yor: Th-That's right.
Loid: And you make sure you get along with your classmates.
Anya: Yep.
Loid: We should get going, too.
Yor: Oh, right.
Loid: Children are so curiously observant at times.
First Lieutenant: Hey, Yuri.
First Lieutenant: Why are you covered in bandages?
First Lieutenant: Didn't you go celebrate your sister's wedding yesterday?
Yuri: I don't really remember what happened.
First Lieutenant: You probably got drunk and picked a fight with her husband.
First Lieutenant: You really need to quit drinking.
Yuri: Well, I can't let a guy like that be with my sister.
First Lieutenant: Was he that disagreeable?
Yuri: I think...
Yuri: he was...
Yuri: a good guy.
Yuri: But con men and spies always try to act like good people.
Yuri: That's it! Hopefully he's a spy! Then I can throw him in a cell!
First Lieutenant: Calm down. Do you have any proof of this?
Yuri: sh*t!
Yuri: I totally forgot to bug their living room and bedrooms!
Yuri: Wait, no!
Yuri: If I happened to hear Sis's voice in those situations,
Yuri: my heart wouldn't be able to bear it!
First Lieutenant: Did you give yourself those injuries?
First Lieutenant: You need to detach from your sister so you can concentrate on your work more.
First Lieutenant: Our job is to capture
First Lieutenant: spies from the West, namely, Twilight.
First Lieutenant: Because that will lead to your sister's safety.
Yuri: I know that. For now...
Yuri: Loid Forger, the day you make my sister cry...
Camilla: What's with her?
Millie: She said something like, "I'm a failure of a wife."
Sharon: Heya.
Millie: Oh, Sharon.
Sharon: Huh? How do you become a good wife?
Sharon: Are you two not getting along?
Yor: Well, it's not exactly that...
Yor: It's just... This is my first time being with a man in general,
Yor: It's just... This is my first time being with a man in general,
Yor: so I'm unsure of how to act.
Loid: I was curious when I looked into her past connections,
Loid: but I guess Yor has really never dated a man before.
Yor: I'm worried that things can't go on like this.
Yor: It doesn't help that I can't cook.
Loid: Anya's words really got to her.
Loid: It appears that Yor is trying to seem more wifely for the sake of our pretend family.
Loid: No, wait.
Loid: She could also be trying to act like the perfect wife to put one over on me.
Camilla: It must be rough when your husband is clearly so much better than you.
Millie: Why don't you two just call it quits?
Yor: Er, I'd like to avoid that.
Loid: Yor's relationship with her coworkers seems a bit, er, uh...
Section Chief: Hey, you four!
Section Chief: Hey, you four!
Section chief: Quit yapping and get to work.
Camilla: Gah! It's the section chief.
Section Chief: Say, Yor...
Section Chief: Could you go drop this off at the post office for me?
Yor: Yes, sir.
Loid: I guess I'll have to make a move if I want to clear the air for good.
Yor: Come to think of it, Loid and I have separate bank accounts.
Yor: If I contributed a bit of my earnings from my actual job,
Yor: would I be able to help Loid out?
Yor: But I can't make him suspicious of me, either.
Yor: Not to mention, I don't think this was really a financial issue...
Fake Lieutenant: You there. I'd like to ask you a few questions.
Fake lieutenant: May we have a bit of your time?
Yor: Th-The secret police!
Yor: D-Did I do something wrong, sir?
Yor: Was I being far too suspicious by looking at ads meant for families,
Yor: when I'm clearly lacking as a wife?
Yor: I-I-I'm married!
Fake Second Lieutenant: We're not hitting on you.
Franky: What the hell is this?!
Franky: You call me outta nowhere and tell me to dress like this
Franky: so we can question your wife?!
Loid: Just shut up and follow the plan. This is all for my mission.
Franky: I've got nothing to do with that!
Fake lieutenant: We are inspecting the mail.
Fake lieutenant: You just tried to mail this...
Fake lieutenant: But it clearly contains a code meant for the West.
Fake Lieutenant: Is the sender, Burns, your superior?
Yor: Y-Yes.
Fake second lieutenant: What is your name?
Yor: Yor Bri—
Yor: I-It's Yor Forger.
Fake second lieutenant: Well, well, well... Yor Forger, eh?
Fake second lieutenant: It clearly states your name right here as a collaborator!
Fake Lieutenant (Loid): He's really into this.
Fake Lieutenant: So you're in cahoots.
Yor: I-I have no idea about this. This must be some kind of mistake.
Fake Second Lieutenant: You'd be better off if you told the truth.
Fake Lieutenant: Speaking of city hall, someone from the finance department was caught the other day.
Fake lieutenant: Clearly, the corruption within has spread far and wide.
Fake second Lieutenant: I heard he met a pitiful end.
Fake second lieutenant: The intense t*rture got to him physically and mentally,
Fake second lieutenant: and he apparently offed himself in his cell.
Fake second lieutenant: And I heard last month, they caught another woman around this chick's age.
Fake second lieutenant: You know, that official's secretary.
Fake Lieutenant (Loid): What kind of characterization is he going for?
Fake lieutenant: Ah, her.
Fake lieutenant: She was freed once we found out she had family in State Security Service.
Fake second lieutenant: Man, talk about an awesome benefit.
Fake second lieutenant: Our family members can be let off the hook of most allegations.
Fake lieutenant: Enough talking. You'll be coming with us to the station.
Loid: If she's aware that Yuri works for the State Security Service,
Loid: this will all be solved as soon as she mentions Yuri's name.
Loid: There's no reason for her to be secretive to one of his coworkers,
Loid: and if she resists, she'll further make us suspicious.
Loid: Come on, Yor. If you're in on this, ask your brother for help.
Loid: And if you're not...
Yor: I...
Yor: work hard every day for the citizens of this country.
Yor: I would never participate in espionage!
Fake second lieutenant: No use playing dumb with us!
Fake second lieutenant: Just shut up and come with—
Fake second lieutenant: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Yor: I'm quite certain I mentioned that I was married.
Yor: Please do not touch me so casually.
Fake lieutenant: You do realize you're putting your family in danger by doing this, don't you?
Yor: My younger brother and husband are both kind
Yor: and upstanding members of society.
Yor: If you ever unjustly harm either of them,
Yor: I frankly do not care if I'm dealing with you two.
Yor: I will show no mercy!
Fake Lieutenant: Hey, Second Lieutenant Mop...
Fake lieutenant: Are you certain about this cipher?
Fake second lieutenant: What? Of course I'm—
Fake second lieutenant: What the?!
Fake second lieutenant: Looking closer, this is clearly not the raccoon cipher.
Fake second lieutenant: It's the caterpillar cipher!
Fake lieutenant: If we decode this message...
Fake lieutenant: This is a letter Burns sent to a renowned hemorrhoids doctor.
Yor: Huh?
Fake lieutenant: I see. He used a cipher because he was embarrassed.
Fake lieutenant: How confusing.
Fake lieutenant: So, yes, it would appear we had the wrong idea.
Fake lieutenant: Your name isn't on here at all.
Fake lieutenant: You may leave, but make sure you keep quiet about this for Mr. Burns's sake, too.
Franky: Well, that was quite the farce.
Franky: Considering how she acted, it's pretty clear she has no connections with the secret police.
Franky: Hey, come on. Don't tell me you feel guilty for doubting her.
Loid: I don't.
Franky: I've warned you about this before, but don't develop unnecessary feelings for her.
Franky: If you value your life, don't trust anyone.
Franky: We have no other way to survive.
Loid: Somehow, it's extremely infuriating to hear those words from that face.
Franky: But you made that face!
Franky: Damn it! I thought I could land a few chicks with that face on.
Franky: My precious hot-guy face!
Loid: It's a terrible idea to date a woman while deceiving her.
Franky: Did you really just say that?
Yor: Today was terribly nerve-wracking.
Yor: I was almost arrested, meaning not only would I be ruined as a wife,
Yor: but I would've destroyed the Forgers.
Loid: Oh, hello, Yor.
Yor: Loid...
Loid: What a coincidence. Why don't we go home together?
Loid: Oh? There's something on your collar again, Yor.
Yor: I'm so sorry.
Yor: Apparently, I'm such a failure as wife that I can't even keep up proper appearances.
Loid: Well, if you ask me, Yor...
Loid: Perhaps many families throughout this world are somehow putting on an act,
Loid: thinking, "A wife should be like this," or, "You're supposed to be the parent."
Loid: Of course, I believe that working hard to be your best self is admirable.
Loid: But if you dwell on that so much that you lose yourself,
Loid: things that should go well might fall apart.
Loid: Many people suffering like that come to my hospital all the time.
Loid: Putting on an act all the time can become tiring.
Yor: Loid...
Loid: And that's why I want you to be as you are, Yor.
Loid: The more confident you seem, the less people will suspect anything.
Loid: And I'm sure Anya will be happier seeing you smile.
Yor: Thank you very much. I...
Yor: I'm truly grateful that I married you, Loid!
flashback Franky: Don't tell me you feel guilty for doubting her.
Yor: What did you just throw away?
Loid: Oh, just the lint I found on your collar earlier.
Loid: More importantly,
Loid: we didn't even do anything to celebrate our one-year wedding anniversary.
Loid: Why don't we buy some cake on our way home?
Yor: That's a lovely idea!
Anya: Papa, Mama! I have returned!
Yor: Welcome home, Miss Anya.
Loid: What's the matter?
Anya: Papa and Mama are getting along!
Loid: I told you that we were never fighting to begin with.
Yor: We have cake, Miss Anya!
Anya: I want some cake!
Loid: Hey, now. You're going to bother the people downstairs.
Sign: THE GREAT DODGEBALL PLAN
01x09 - Show Off How in Love You Are
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Series follows master spy Twilight, who must disguise himself as psychiatrist Loid Forger and build a mock family in order to investigate political leader Donovan Desmond.
Series follows master spy Twilight, who must disguise himself as psychiatrist Loid Forger and build a mock family in order to investigate political leader Donovan Desmond.