05x33 - Piggy Banks and Trash Cans

[bunniefuu]

Gintoki and the g*ng have followed the missing Elizabeth into the Renho mothership.

The evil lord Dark Vader prepares to invade Earth. Can he be stopped?!

Shin What are you doing, you three stooges?!

Fumi Look out!

Fumi It can't be!

Fumi He was promoted for his work on Earth...

You punks got spirit.

Interested in becoming my men?

Zura E-

Zura Elizabeth!

It appears that you Earthlings are the ones who will lose their seeds.

Mutsu You're the one who faces destruction.

I commend you for having the courage to come alone into enemy territory. I will grant you an up-close view of the destruction of Earth.

Mutsu You have no right to be a leader when you call your comrades tools.

Mutsu Don't underestimate the planet of the samurai.

I don't need soldiers or citizens.

As long as I have those, I can conquer the galaxy.

The samurai will soon learn

why the Renho Army soldiers

are feared as the white devils.

Shin Renho Army?

Shin Don't you mean the Renho Federation?!

Piggy Banks and Trash Cans

Fumi Quiet down.

Fumi We managed to sneak all the way in here.

Fumi Don't waste that for the sake of a joke.

Shin Uh, wait, Fumiko-san!

Shin This is why you're known as the white devils?!

Fumi These are the new white outfits that were developed for the invasion of Earth.

Fumi The anti-samurai w*apon, Gunsam!

Fumi They've made incredible progress while I was gone.

Shin Uh, in the end, this is just a blatant rip-off!

Shin Those look very familiar!

Fumi Dark Vader intends to have the Gunsams

Fumi attack Earth once the rain has left the planet in chaos.

Fumi Earth won't last long against such an onslaught!

Shin Uh, we won't last long against a copyright infringement lawsuit.

Fumi Both were animated by Sunrise, so a lawsuit would go nowhere.

Fumi They planned ahead.

Shin That's plain evil!

Fumi In any case, we have plenty of incentive to destroy those.

Kagura How do we do that?

Fumi We'll have to think of something.

Fumi Before he...

Fumi Before General Eren leads his strike force of Gunsams to attack Earth.

Fumi I never imagined that he would become a general in such a short time.

Shin And I never imagined that we would become Elizabeth's subordinates.

Kagura Maybe Eli recognized us?

Fumi He may do his job well, but he's always been rather dense.

Fumi He couldn't even recognize his own girlfriend

Fumi when I changed to a different color ribbon.

Shin Uh, how is anyone supposed to pick you out?!

Shin This is harder than trying to find Waldo!

Kagura I see.

So he won't recognize Shinpachi since he's a different color.

Shin He'll recognize me!

Shin He should recognize me when I'm sticking out of your head!

Fumi Anyway, now that we're here, this is the perfect chance.

Fumi I'll try to find a way to destroy the Gunsams.

Fumi You do what you can to disable the three stooges

Fumi and other pilots who are part of the strike force.

Kagura Be careful, Cool Lady Fumi.

Shin Okay...

Shin Gin-san, did you hear all that?

Gin Loyal soldiers of the Renho Army!

Gin Thanks to our Elizabeth Rain,

over half of the Earthlings are now trapped behind signs.

Gin The clouds surrounding Earth are a symbol of our justice.

Gin The Earth's military is but a shell of its former self.

Gin Verily, I declare them to be trash!

Zura Earthlings treasure their three M's above all.

Zura Their money, their mothers, and their manhood.

Zura We start by hitting them in their manhood

Zura and immobilizing them.

Zura Then we take their mothers hostage

Zura and seize their money!

Zura We can render them helpless!

Saka On the b*ttlefield, you have to rely on the voices of your allies.

Saka Remember to ditch your signs and provide your comrades with vocal support.

Saka And you're only allowed to bring yen worth of snacks.

Saka Don't forget your Gelgoog bag for when you get mobile suit sickness...

Shin Why are you people teaching them how to defeat Earthlings?!

Shin Why are you even here?!

Shin You're clearly helping the wrong side!

Gin You hit me!

Gin Bright-san never hit me!

Shin Most people haven't been hit by Bright!

Saka Sorry.

Saka I fell into my old habits after getting all fired up about about the upcoming battle.

Shin What the hell were the wars like back when you were fighting?!

Shin That last part was more or less instructions for a picnic!

Teacher! Can we take our PSPs onto the b*ttlefield?

Zura Okay, this is a b*ttlefield, right?

Zura So you should be playing b*ttlefield games, if you get my drift.

What?!

Shin Why is this turning into a lecture?!

Shin Who's the teacher?!

Zura Fine, fine.

Zura That concludes today's court-martial.

Zura Everyone go outside for some Uno!

Shin Why would you play Uno outside?!

Shin Do you really want to play Uno?!

Gin Don't worry, Alzabeth.

Gin I'll move three times faster than usual.

Shin That's not gonna help, you stupid Red Comet!

Saka It's the job of a general to play some Uno

Saka and help put the men in that zone between composure and passion.

Shin You people are between dumb and dumber!

Shin What is this?!

Shin Why are you playing Uno with the invaders?!

Gin I can see! I can see the enemy's hand!

Shin Why are you bonding with them?!

Kagura They're winning over the enemy.

Gin Tsk, how can this be...

Kagura They may have fallen, but they were stars during the Joi era.

What a strange bunch.

Shin Eli-

Shin General Eren!

You were able to sap away the tension before a battle.

You have the odd ability to draw people in while doing stupid things.

Or maybe they were drawn in by your Earth smell.

You were also working as spies on Earth, right?

The same goes for everyone in my squad.

We were all ordered to infiltrate Earth and make contact with Earthlings.

Uno!

And now we're trying to destroy the people of Earth.

Zura So everyone here loves Earth.

Zura Otherwise, they wouldn't know the rules.

Uno

Shin Katsura-san...

I also played a lot of Uno.

Zura No!

He would challenge me to a game whenever we had time.

Zura C-Can you let me redo that...

But he sucked... I had to let him win a few times.

I guess I was already lying to him back then.

Zura Do you regret it?

Zura Then why...?

Zura Everyone here found something important to them on Earth.

Zura Everyone here has grown to care for Earth.

Zura I-I am the same way.

Zura So why are we invading Earth?

...I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

The Renho purge all who express dissent.

And keep your mouth shut. You won't get another warning.

Zura If the general were to show a sign, everyone would revolt together.

Zura Nobody would have to worry about a purge then.

Zura Is that what you're saying?

I learned many things on Earth.

Things that I wouldn't have learned on this planet of cold steel.

Defeat

Many things that were warm to the touch.

I learned many things from the person

whom with I fought back-to-back.

That's why I have no regrets.

There is something I must protect.

Even if it means destroying Earth.

Even if it means fighting against him.

A true friend will always protect a friend's back.

That is what I learned from my friend on Earth.

Zura Elizabeth...

Attack OrderIn one hour, the entire armada will advance on Earth. All squadrons should immediately prepare for battle.

Kagura W-We've been given the order to attack.

Shin Already?!

Shin What happened to Mutsu-san's negotiations?!

Saka Mutsu, I see that you screwed up.

Mutsu I bought you plenty of time.

Mutsu You were able to come up with a plan, right?

Saka You bet! The guy before me used a Draw ,

Saka so I tossed out a Draw ,

Saka but then he said that going by Earth rules, I could only use a Draw ,

Saka so I tore my Draw in half.

Mutsu The hell are you doing?!

Mutsu I'm out here risking my life to buy you time!

Mutsu What are we going to do?!

Mutsu The Kaientai have been locked up!

Mutsu We can't do anything!

Zura You don't need to worry.

Zura We're ready to go.

Shin Katsura-san.

Zura Relax...

Zura Elizabeth is still Elizabeth.

Zura The Elizabeth I believe in.

Zura We've been separated due to our positions as Earthling and Renho,

How do you write out Renho?

Zura but we still believe in the same things.

Don't look.

Zura In that case, I can't let him down.

Zura Not when my friend says that he believes in me.

Zura I'll stop the Renho.

Zura Even if it means cutting down Elizabeth.

Gin Zura...

What are you doing, Teacher? The general is already on his way to the front lines.

Zura Yes, I'm coming.

Zura I'm going to stop Elizabeth's strike force.

Kagura Wait, Zura!

Kagura You're going to fight Eli?!

Saka Yeah, knock yourself out, Zura.

Gin While you're running cover,

Gin we'll take out the big boss.

Kagura Gin-chan! Moldie!

Saka Doesn't matter how big the serpent is. Cut off its head and it'll stop.

Saka Then we might not have to cut off its tail, Kintoki.

Saka Well, that's only if we don't get choked to death first.

Gin What are you babbling about?

Gin Your brain was already choked to death.

Zura Don't look back.

Gin I won't.

Zura You got my back.

Kagura I guess we don't need to worry about the three stooges.

Kagura In that case, we should help delay the soldiers.

Shin And how is Katsura-san going to stop the strike force?

Shin Is he going to use that thing?

Shin Can he even pilot it?

Fumi Alzabeth!

Shin Fumiko-san!

Fumi What's going on?

Fumi Why did the attack start so soon?

Shin Well...

Fumi I don't believe it!

Fumi Just a little longer and I could have disabled all of the Gunsams!

Shin Huh? You were able to do something in such a short time?

Fumi You helped divert the attention of the guards,

Fumi so while I wasn't able to do anything to the mothership,

Fumi I managed to sabotage the Gunsams.

Shin What did you do?!

Zura A-Amazing...

Zura No wonder Vader is so taken by these.

Zura Okay! Just you wait, Elizabeth!

Zura Gunsam, ready to launch!

Zura Katsura, heading out!

Fumi What did I do?

Fumi I placed bombs in them.

Shin Ka-Katsura...

Zura ...blew up!

What is it?

W-Well...

The Gunsam that launched suddenly blew up...

What?!

Could it be that...

they have other allies...?

Spies!

There are Earth spies on this ship!

The attack is off!!

Capture any suspicious rats and make it run blood!!

Don't let any of them escape!!

Fumi In any case, we were able to delay them.

Shin Uh, we lost one of our friends.

Fumi But it's strange...

Fumi The b*mb I placed wasn't that strong, was it?

Fumi It was only supposed to blow off a leg...

Kagura Hm?

Kagura Hey, look over there!

Shin Wh-What is that?!

Gin Hey, Tatsuma, don't tell me that you've lost your edge

after becoming a merchant.

Saka Can't really say.

Saka I was always more of a peace lover compared to you boys.

Saka My mind's sharp as a razor, but I can't be so confident about my ability with a blade.

Gin I see.

Gin So your mind and sword are both rusty.

Hey, fools.

What's going on?

That's Dark Vader's office.

What business do you have there?

We have a message for him.

What?! Did you find the spies?

Saka No.

Saka The samurai...

Gin ...have invaded your planet.

You're the ones from earlier!!

I knew there was something suspicious about you.

To think that you were samurai...!!

Why are you out here in space?!

Saka You people didn't do enough research.

Saka The samurai weren't wiped off Earth.

Gin Have you forgotten the names of the Amanto's most dreaded enemies?

Gin With our swords, we kept...

Saka ...our country...

Gin ...our friends...

Saka ...our souls safe from the aliens.

Saka The Joi patriot, Sakamoto Tatsuma.

Gin Sakata Gintoki.

Both We'll take you on!

Gin This is a one night ceremony!

Gin Tatsuma, show them that you haven't lost your edge!

Saka Yeah, got it!

Saka Time to go wild!

Sakamoto Tatsuma

Saka Excuse me, I'm Sakamoto Tatsuma, chief logistics officer for the Joi.

Saka It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Saka I believe that you're one of the Double Dragons who lead this jolly group.

Saka Are you on the right or left?

I'm the right Dragon.

Saka Oh, that must be rough.

Saka You have to deal with the random gusts in right field at Koshien Stadium.

Saka Well, I'm sure you have a story or two to tell.

Gin What are you doing?!

Saka Don't mind me. Carry on with your fun.

Saka I have my own way of going wild.

Prepare yourself!

Gin Your own way of going wild?

Gin I'm the only one fighting here!

What are you trying to pull?

Saka Well, just between you and me,

Saka I was only pretending to want to protect Earth.

Saka Truth is that I came all the way here to do business.

Business?

Saka Yes, I consider space to be home.

Saka So I feel no attachment to Earth.

You're going to sell Earth? That's what your subordinate said when you first snuck on board.

Saka Please, she's a fledgling who knows nothing about business.

Saka She always snaps when a deal doesn't go her way.

Saka However, now I know what you people want.

What?

Saka You want a w*apon that will be more useful

Saka than those white devils for the invasion of Earth.

Saka Isn't that right?

Saka I have the perfect thing!

Saka Yes!

Saka To counter your white devils, I offer a white demon.

Saka The White Yaksha.

Saka I've colored him completely white to satisfy your needs.

Gin What the hell are you talking about?!

Saka And I'll even include the w*apon of self destruction, Zura,

Saka and the adult toy, Sakamoldie.

Saka It's an amazing deal!

Is this some kind of joke?

Saka I would never joke about selling my friends.

Saka Why not have the White Yaksha and White Devil fight it out?

Saka That man doesn't give a damn about Earth.

Now to finish him!

Saka He's a demon who's capable of

crushing an Earth or two for the sake of his friends.

Saka If you don't buy him, he'll crush your planet.

Saka But if we join forces, we can take over Earth or any planet of your choice.

Nonsense! After invading our planet, you now offer to help us take Earth?

Saka Sure thing.

Saka If we keep fighting, we'll just weaken our forces for nothing.

Saka If you provide another place for the Earthlings to live,

Saka we'll give you Earth in a split second.

Saka Planets are just a place for people to stand on.

Saka A planet is just a rock.

Saka Takes people to make it a world.

Saka You can have all the piggy banks you want.

Saka I'm only interested in what's inside.

Saka Well, there definitely isn't gold inside.

Saka Just a bunch of old scarred steel.

Saka But I consider that steel the greatest treasure there could ever be.

Joi patriots?

They weren't in the data provided by the advance scouts.

Reinforce our troops.

Grind the Earthlings into space dust.

M-My lord!!

B-Behind you!!

Shin Th-That's...

What...?

...is that?

Shin E-Earth is...

Smiling.

A Huh? Your face is...

B And you're talking.

A Y-You're right! My voice!

A My face is back to normal!

B This is a rain from the heavens!

A The gods haven't abandoned us yet!

Hana Are you watching this?

Hana The people who lost their voices are recovering!

Hana It's wonderful! So wonderful!

Th-This is!!

M-My Lord!!

Hana Wonderful for me!

Hana Wonderful for you!

Hana Wonderful for everyone!

Shin Th-The clouds...

Shin The clouds that were covering Earth have dissipated...

To my home planet.

To my friend.

From Space,

with love.

It appears that those rats weren't the only ones with a trick up their sleeves.

Katsura That's...

You fooled me.

Eli I fooled no one.

Eli The words written on that planet aren't

the words of a spy, a general, or a Renho.

Eli They're Elizabeth's first and last words of truth!

Zura Elizabeth!

To Be Continued

Next Episode

Eli Dark Vader finally reveals his true power and att*cks the Gunsam.

Eli The battles that ensue inspires terror

Eli that Katsura and Eren have never experienced before!

Eli Next time Empty planet.

On Screen,Eli Empty Planet

Eli Will you survive?

Speaking of which, will this anime be able to survive?

When we first started Gintama, we figured there would never be any mecha.