05x41 - Girls Like Vegeta, Guys Like Piccolo

[bunniefuu]

Madam I'll be back next week at the same time.

Toshi Here we go!

Toshi Let's party!

All Okay!

All Ooh! It's been so long, Kyoshiro-sama!

Kyo H-Help...

Shin And the Madame is about to come!

Shin We haven't even started,

Shin and Kyoshiro-san has already been hunted down by the monsters!

Kyo Help!

Girls Like Vegeta, Guys Like Piccolo

Shin Kyoshiro-san has been hunted down by the monsters!

Shin Why did this have to happen now?

Kagura Don't worry.

Kagura He's the number one host.

Kagura He can handle that lot with one arm behind his back.

Kagura Look. It's the "I'll be back" hand.

Shin Uh, as far as we know, that hand is the only thing left of him!

Shin We need to get him out of there

and ask the monsters to go back to their den!

Gin Damn. Unfortunately we're only the help for the help.

Gin TOSHI, are you ready?

Toshi Don't give me that crap!

Toshi How are we supposed to "Let's party!" with those piranhas!

Shin Then we'll have to save him together!

Gin Screw that!

Gin All the money in the world wouldn't

be enough to get me to deal with them!

Shin Son of a bitch!

Tsu Wait, I just dropped by to visit.

Tsu Where do you think you're going?

Tsu GIN-sama?

Tsu The night is still young!

Tsu Bring me more booze, you stinkin' host!

Shin Th-The monster of Yoshiwara is here!

A B-Boss, you're drinking too much!

Tsu Shut up! I said to relax today!

Tsu Don't call me Boss. It's Tsu-ki.

Otae Welcome.

Tsu Yeah, you wanted a crowd, so I brought everyone I could find.

Tsu We really get to drink all we want?

Otae Yes, normally you have to serve men,

Otae but this is like a Yoshiwara for women.

Otae Time for some payback.

Shin Again, nobody gave you permission to do this, Sis!

Tsu Okay. Let's do this, girls.

Shin And why is Tsukuyo-san already drunk?

A I-I'm sorry. Boss...

Tsu-ki has never been to a host club

before so she's a little nervous.

Tsu Hey, bring some girls!

Tsu And music!

Tsu Play "Beer Tears Man Woman!"

Shin In what way is she nervous?!

Shin She sounds like a regular customer!

Gin G-Got it.

Gin I'll go find you some girls...

Toshi Hey! He's trying to run away again!

Gin Oh, a girl.

Shin Kyu-Kyubei-san's here too?!

Otae Oh, Kyu-chan. You came.

Kyu Sorry about being late.

Kyu You said that I could only bring girls,

Kyu so it took a while to get ready.

Shin Why are the Yagyu retainers dressed like women?!

Tojo Oh, gosh. If it isn't Tsu-ki?

Tojo Just finish a long day in Yoshiwara?

Tojo Same here.

Shin And this guy's on his own level of wrong!

Tsu Hey! I never asked for any ugly girls!

Tojo What? That's so mean, Tsu-ki!

Tojo We both work in the same line of business.

Shin Uh, excuse me!

Shin This isn't like Yoshiwara, so we don't provide girls...

Tsu What? I heard that this is a Yoshiwara for women.

Shin Well, that's not entirely accurate.

Tsu What's that then?

Master Roshi Bondage

Okita The B Course is horse riding.

Trojan Horse Riding

Okita The C Course involves candles.

Candle Wax Play

Okita And the D Course involves neglect.

Sa Which should I choose?

Sa But I can't see.

Sa And isn't GIN-sama here yet?!

Sa I'm always after the G Course!

Okita Ma'am, I'm going to pin your nose back with hooks

Okita and stick photos of it all over town.

Sa You know your stuff. What's your name?

Both Sick and twisted!

Sa Oh! That sounds like something GIN-sama would say!

Sa I've been waiting for you!

Toshi Hey, toss them out with the trash.

Sa This is such an excellent bar!

Sa I'm very impressed!

A Hey! Where's my order?!

B Hello? Over here!

Shin We'll never be able to handle all of these customers, Hijikata-san!

Shin More idiots keep showing up!

Toshi Hey, this is looking bad!

Toshi The place is practically full!

Toshi We're in over our heads!

Shin And now the trannies are starting a fight!

Tojo Eh? Who's your doctor?

Ago What? It's Takasu, fool.

Tojo Bastard, my senpai gets his from Takasu, too!

Shin They sound like a couple of addicts bragging about their source!

Shin This is not good!

Shin We need to stop them!

Toshi What are you doing?!

Toshi Help us clear out some customers!

Kagura Shut up! That's what we're doing!

Both Sorry about the wait!

Both This is our special, Fish on Host!

Shin They made it worse!

Toshi Stop them! Do something!

Shin Do what?!

Shin I know! Kyoshiro-san!

Shin Kyoshiro-san!

Shin It's over!

Shin Forget about the Madame!

Toshi Damn it! What do we do...

Saigo Quiet down!

Saigo Don't you understand that you're making trouble for the bar?

Saigo You're supposed to control yourself when you have fun.

Tsu I've had enough.

Kyu The party is over.

Saigo I apologize for the trouble we caused.

Shin They instantly put an end to the riot.

Shin They're the real monsters.

Toshi In any case, we're back to normal.

Saigo Now that it's quiet, let's get back to drinking.

All Cheers!

Both You're staying?!

Gin P-Perfect, this is my chance to escape.

Madame Excuse me.

Madame I have an appointment tonight.

Madame My name is Yagami.

Gin Yagami?

Gin Could it be?

Gin Could it be?

Madame Could you go tell Kyoshiro-san that

the Madame has come to see him?

Gin The Madame is here!

Gin A-At the worst possible time...

Tsu Booze! More booze!

Gin The monsters are still partying!

Gin I need to run away before I get caught up

in this disaster waiting to happen!

Gin S-So sorry...

Gin The boss is out right now.

Gin I-I'll go get him!

Toshi Don't worry, GIN.

Toshi I already contacted the boss.

Shin Please have something to drink while you're waiting.

Shin Follow me.

Gin Y-You bastards!

Toshi You thought you could run away after dragging us into this mess?

Shin All of us have to work together to entertain the Madame.

Gin What? Don't be stupid!

Gin Where's everybody else?

Gin When is the boss coming back?

Gin They're all out of action!

Gin Do you have any idea what will happen if we

let the Madame join those drunken masters?

Gin It'd be like throwing a chair into a bunch of Jackie Chans!

Gin She'll be used for acrobatic moves, abused,

then smashed against an enemy's head!

Shin I-It'll be okay!

Shin Please follow me.

Shin Kyoshiro-san will come back!

Shin Until then, we'll have to entertain the Madame!

Shin Y-Your table is right over there.

Tsu Oh, GIN-sama. Where do you think you're going without us?

Tsu I asked for you first!

Tsu Get your ass over here and pour me booze!

Sa Yeah!

Sa We're customers today, so you should treat us better!

Shin We were too easy to spot!

Shin Like Jackie Chan's nose!

Gin S-Sorry, baby.

Gin I need to help this lady for a little bit.

Gin GURA and TAE will take good care of you.

Tsu What's that?! You're too good to drink with me?!

Shin Now she's going Jackie Chan on us!

Sa You got balls to steal our men!

Shin Wait! Don't do anything to the Madame!

Sa Did you come here by yourself to pick up men?

Sa You're a real piece of work! Right, Tsu-ki?

Shin You're no better!

Tsu Wait, you got poop on your hair.

Tsu Is everything okay?

Shin Hey! Somebody stop these drunks!

Kyu Would you two stop that?

Kyu Excuse us.

Kyu I'll pay for the cleaning,

but for now, let's use this to wipe that off.

Shin You're drunk, too?!

Kyu Oh, it's bigger than I thought...

Kyu The fancy toilet paper from the Yagyu household can't handle it.

Shin Uh, you're wiping her face! Stop it!

Otae Oh, Kyu-chan! You shouldn't do that!

Otae Let the employees handle this.

Otae If it won't come off, you wet the paper,

Otae and scrub hard.

Shin Hey!

Shin Even our employees are piss drunk!

Otae Oh, it won't come off.

Kagura It wasn't wet enough.

Kagura Give it to me, boss lady.

Takamagahara

Kagura I had too much Koronamin C.

Otae That's why kids are only supposed to have one a day.

Saigo I see that my friends inconvenienced you.

Saigo It's on me, so drink away.

Both After all that rude behavior,

it's turned into a Jackie Chan carnival?!

Toshi What are we going to do?!

Toshi We won't be able to look after the Madame!

Toshi She's already about to snap!

Gin I can't blame her, considering the abuse she's had to endure!

Shin If anything else goes wrong, we'll be in big trouble!

Shin Anyway, let's try to improve the Madame's mood!

Gin Uh, Yagami-san? What are you drinking there?

Madame Oolong Highball.

Gin Oh, that's good. I love those.

Gin It doesn't leave much of an aftertaste. Right, TOSHI?

Toshi Huh? Yeah, I'm pretty high on that Oolong pig.

Toshi Hell, Yamcha's little buddy is my favorite character in Dragonball...

Otae That's Puar!

Gin Yeah. Right. That's Puar!

Gin Oh, speaking of Dragonball, Yagami-san.

Gin Who's your favorite character?

Gin Let me guess.

Gin I'm pretty good at Dragonball character fortune telling.

Gin Let's see, you're a Tien...

Gin No, you might actually be a Vegeta.

Tsu The king of King Castle!

Gin Right. You have unique taste. The king of King Castle.

Toshi That's a rare choice.

Toshi So Yagami-san, are you a...

Sa It's King Furry!

Gin Yeah, that guy looked like a dog.

Gin Come to think of it, there were a bunch of animal characters

Gin in the beginning, but it turned into a humanoid

fest like a certain other manga...

Kyu Put yourself in Toriyama's shoes!

Toshi Yeah, Toriyama had a lot to...

Kagura Pororoca!

Gin Uh, hold on.

Gin Is it me or were those girls b*ating us up for the hell of it?

Toshi That last one had nothing to do with Dragonball.

Toshi Her timing would have been perfect for a quiz show.

Toshi And I've been hit an extra time...

Saigo Sorry!

Saigo The correct answer was the Candiru,

Saigo the carnivorous catfish that lives in the Amazon region!

Toshi Hey! What's wrong with those drunks?!

Toshi Do they have to smack us in the head every time they talk?!

Toshi They aren't giving us a chance to talk to the Madame!

Gin And why are we talking about Dragonball with a woman?

Toshi I was trying to help you recover from that Oolong tea crap!

Toshi What the hell is Dragonball fortune telling?!

Toshi You could have just asked what her type was!

Tsu King of King Castle!

Sa Colonel Silver!

Otae Bardock!

Kyu The female in Bardock's crew!

Saigo The joke with a power level of five that's beaten up by Raditz!

Kagura Pororoca!

Madame Vegeta.

Gin Hey, we used Dragonball to get them to tell us what their type is!

Gin And they all have weird taste!

Toshi One of them keeps saying Pororoca!

Shin Wasn't there an extra answer?

All She answered!

Gin Hey! The Madame is actually participating!

Toshi Which one?! Which one did she like?!

Shin I-It was probably Vegeta!

Saigo Oh, you like Vegeta?

Saigo A lot of women like Vegeta.

Sa It's the whole falling for the bad boy

after seeing him help a puppy out of the rain.

Shin Wait! The girls are starting a discussion about Vegeta!

Sa A lot of stupid women fall for those bad boys.

Sa In most cases, they get knocked up, married,

and divorced in one breath.

Otae That relationship only worked because Bulma was rich.

Otae Being a Super Saiyan doesn't mean much if you don't have a job.

Otae And you can't say that he's gentle inside

Otae when he only ever cried because of his pride as a Saiyan

Otae or because he was scared of Frieza.

Otae That man only cares about himself.

All Yeah, yeah.

Shin Vegeta is getting b*at down!

Shin This is worse than when he got his ass handed to him by Frieza!

Kyu As far as loners go, Piccolo is much better.

Kyu He cried before Gohan, and he takes good care of kids.

Tsu But those shoulder pads would get in the way.

Tsu You can't latch onto his arm.

Kyu Vegeta has the same problem!

Tsu Vegeta wore normal clothes sometimes, though they looked terrible.

Shin Stop it! You're making the Madame, the Vegeta fan, look bad!

Kagura With that widow's peak, it wouldn't matter what he wore.

Kagura He probably just threw on whatever Bulma bought for him.

All Oh.

Kagura But I'm guessing he bought the shirt that said BADMAN.

All Yeah, out of the question.

All Vegeta's out of the question.

Shin Stop!

Shin And how much time have you people spent on Dragonball?!

Gin But Bulma looked happier when she was with him,

Gin compared to when she was with Yamcha.

Gin Once Trunks was born, he settled down

and became a good father.

Shin He forced his way into the conversation!

Shin He dove right in, like a widow's peak!

Gin Oh, Yagami-san. Your glass is empty.

Gin Another Oolong Highball?

Madame Yes.

Gin Hey, TOSHI!

Gin Bring a Oolong Highball!

Shin Why are you recreating one of Vegeta's famous scenes?!

Shin That's the famous farewell with Trunks!

Otae Imo shochu!

Sa Cassis Orange!

Tsu Japanese sake!

Kyu With soda!

Saigo Whiskey!

Kagura Pororoca!

Shin The famous scene had no effect!

Shin Vegeta can't do anything in this world!

Madame Heh, dirty fireworks.

Shin She joined in!

Shin The Madame is playing Vegeta!

Shin She's a pretty fun person!

Shin Hang in there!

Shin The Madame's heart is slowly opening!

Toshi But those drunks are still a problem.

Toshi We need to deal with them before

we can get anywhere with the Madame, Kakarot...

Shin Uh, who are you calling Kakarot?

Okita Oh, ladies?

Okita What is this party for?

Okita A little get-together for models?

Shin S-SOUGO-san!

Saigo Please! You're such a sweet talker!

Otae This is just a supermodel powwow!

Okita Oh, forgive me.

Okita You're all so beautiful that I got confused.

Toshi H-He sidestepped them?

Okita Hey, what are you guys doing?

Okita Bring the goods.

Toshi The goods?

Okita The champagne tower that's actually

Okita filled with tequila!

Both Tequila tower?!

Shin I see!

Shin He's going to subdue them by getting them drunk!

Okita Are you ready?

All Let's party!

Shin SOUGO-san...

Shin He's so evil that he doesn't give a damn about abusing women.

Shin He's a prodigy host!

Shin You guys were the ones subdued?!

Saigo I've never had Dom Perignon before,

Saigo but it's almost like drinking water.

Tsu I need more booze! Bring the whole keg!

Shin The tequila isn't doing anything to the women!

Shin They're too strong!

Sa Hey, Yagami-san! I know you want some more!

Madame No, I've had enough...

Shin Had enough?!

Shin How did she empty all of those glasses so fast?!

Madame I've had quite a bit to drink, so I will be leaving now.

Shin Er, hold on!

Madame I had a wonderful time tonight.

Madame Please let Kyoshiro-san know.

Shin Hold on! Why are you leaving?!

Shin Aren't you...

Madame I would not dare to see Kyoshiro-san when my face is so flushed.

Shin You don't want to see him?

Shin So you didn't come back because you didn't like the bar?

Shin You came to see Kyoshiro-san?

Madame So you have heard the stories.

Madame Unfortunately, I am no goddess of fortune,

Madame nor am I a goddess of death.

Madame Nor do I have the ability to ruin an entire town.

Madame My obsession with the power of money left me

with no friends, no home.

Madame I never visited a bar twice

Madame because I didn't want people tiptoeing around me.

Madame But at some point, I became famous around Edo

Madame and lost my only refuge.

Madame That was when I met Kyoshiro-sama.

Madame His smile was different

from the false ones that always greeted me.

Madame His smile was for everyone, not just me.

Madame I assume that was because he loved his job as a host.

Madame His smile was very special to me.

Madame I returned to see that smile again.

Madame You must have come to replace the hosts who quit.

Madame I truly apologize.

Madame Do not worry.

Madame The goddess of death

will never walk the night streets again.

Madame But it was very fun.

Madame I didn't get to see Kyoshiro-san,

Madame but I saw many smiles that

would turn away any goddess of death.

Shin Ya-Yagami-san...

Kyoshiro Ma'am, do you have any plans tonight?

Kyoshiro If not, why not drop by Takamagahara,

the refuge for angels, to rest your wings?

Madame I'm sorry to say that my wings are black,

as they only cause sorrow.

Kyo Oh, you sound like an angel of death.

Kyo However, I believe that particular goddess has already left.

Kyo I've heard that Madame Yagami first appears

as a goddess of fortune,

Kyo then as a goddess of death to bring misfortune.

Kyo Then what happens when she visits a third time?

Gin Hey, we've been waiting for you.

Gin The drinks are on you this time.

Hachi Drinking buddies!

Host All lined up!

Kyo Welcome to Takamagahara.

Madame Heh, dirty fireworks.

Next Episode

Gin Jellybeans Vanguard Honda,

Gin is a Jump editor who's just gotten married when a

Gin new promising manga artist appears before him!

Gin Next time

Gin Draw your life on the canvas we call manga.

Draw Your Life on the Canvas We Call Manga

Jellybeans Vanguard Honda has been assigned to Gintaman

To escape the despair which plagues him,he must land the new artist a regular series!!