06x04 - The Meaning of a Main Character

[bunniefuu]

Kin The Meaning of a Main Character

Tojo: Lady?

A: Boss?

B: Sarutobi-dono?

Kin: You're siding with him?

Kin: You're going to betray your friends, betray me,

Kin: for a man who att*cked your friends?

Gin: What do you think you're doing?

Gin: If you do this...

BoardA,Caption: Field Trip Groups

BoardB,Caption: Boys

BoardC,Caption: Sakata

Sa: Stop it, boys!

Sa: Let Sakata-kun join in!

Kyu: Are you okay, Sakata-kun?

Sa: Teacher, can we let Sakata-kun join our group?

Gin: ...I'll feel like that pathetic left-out boy who

ends up in a group of girls out of sympathy!

Kyu: Kintoki, we trusted you.

Kyu: That's why we're here.

Tsu: So trust us.

Tsu: This man isn't what you think he is.

Sa: The Kin-san I know would back off.

All: If you consider us friends...

Kin: I see.

Kin: I suppose you're representing the Yagyu and Hyakka.

Kin: Get out of this town

Kin: with Gintoki.

Tojo: Kintoki-dono?!

Kin: If you're taking that man's side,

Kin: you're an enemy of this town,

an enemy of the Kabuki district!

Kyu: I see.

Kyu: Is that your answer?

Zura: In that case...

Both: We also have our answer.

Kin: What do you think you're doing?

Kin: Women are quick to betray you,

Kin: but men are supposed to have honor.

Kin: Aren't we frien—

Zura: We're friends.

Mada: No doubt about it.

Zura: Kintoki, I once made a promise with a friend.

Zura: Never change.

Gin: If you ever change, I'll be there to cut you down.

Mada: Kin-san, a buddy of mine used to smack me around.

Gin: Fool! Don't blame everything on your sunglasses!

Mada: That's who we are.

Zura: When we believe you're taking the right path,

we stick with you, no matter how hard it is.

Mada: But if you're taking the wrong path,

we'll stop you, even if it turns the whole world against us.

Zura: That friend is...

Mada: That man is...

Kyu: That idiot is...

Tsu: That lazy ass is...

Sa: That sadist is...

All: Our friend, Sakata Gintoki.

Tojo: Huh?

Tojo: I-I kind of went with the flow, but I can't remember a thing.

Gin: Y-You guys are...

Reunion,Caption: Middle School Class Reunion

Zura: Yo, it's been forever. You been doing okay?

Mada: You still look like a loser. Have a drink.

Gin: ...acting all friendly and mature at our class reunion as though

you never shunned me when we were kids.

Screw you!

Gin: Bastard!

Kin: Impressive, brother.

Kin: So this is the power of a bond forged through

volumes of DVDs?

Kin: But it's no use.

Kin: You can try to win them back,

Kin: but I can undo your work with a wave of my hand.

Kin: Want to know why?

Kin: It's because the main character in this anime...

All: ...is Kin-san.

Kin: You thought I couldn't brainwash people anymore.

Kin: Tama threw away her life for nothing.

Kin: Come on, let's protect our town.

Kin: This sideshow continues to defy

the main character and his friends.

Kin: Send him packing!

Zura: Go ahead and try!

Zura: But we hold inside us

Zura: ironclad memories of the battles we fought together!

Zura: A silver sword lies inside our souls!

Gin: If you think you can break those swords,

Gin: break them!

Gin: My hypnotism isn't working!

Kin: Crush them! Beat them down!

Zura: Go!

Tsu: Gintoki!

Gin: Yeah, I'll let you watch my back!

Gin: While...

Both: I handle being the main character!

Kin: I'll obliterate you.

Kin: Erase your memories, your friends, your very being...

Gin: You're the one who's getting obliterated.

Gin: Let's see if your memory bank is fried first,

Gin: or if my soul burns out first.

Gin: Let's finish this.

Kin: Whether gold or silver wins this battle for existence,

you will be the one who disappears.

Kin: I installed a special program in myself that will activate

when certain conditions are met.

Kin: This program will cause a hypnotic expl*si*n

that will blanket the entire Kabuki district

Kin: and reset everyone's memory.

Kin: There are two conditions.

Kin: The first is when my core is broken.

Kin: The second

Kin: is about to happen.

Otae: Shin-chan! Kagura-chan!

Otae: What are you doing here?!

Otae: Come on! Pull yourself together!

Shin: Sis...

Shin: We remembered everything.

Shin: Who Sakata Kintoki really is,

Shin: who Sakata Gintoki really is...

Shin: The person who altered our memories just restored them.

Shin: After that, we lost consciousness.

Kag: Boss lady, we did terrible things to Gin-chan.

Kag: How do we say we're sorry?

Kag: How can we make up?

Otae: Stand up, you two.

Otae: Let's go back to our leader.

Kin: The second is when the four people

who started this all appear before me.

Kin: Understand?

Kin: If you defeat me or recover your friends,

Kin: everything will end.

Kin: That was my true objective.

Kin: You thought I wanted to take over this lousy anime?

Kin: Sorry, but I'm not going

to be satisfied with your sloppy seconds.

Kin: I take everything from you

and become the worst enemy you've ever faced.

Kin: But still, you're able to recover your friends singlehandedly

and work together to defeat me.

Kin: Yes, that is what I was hoping to see in this final battle.

Kin: I wanted to give this show its last episode

Kin: so I could return as the main character

of a show that was neither Gintama nor Kintama.

Kin: Sakata Gintoki, this anime returned

Kin: as a tombstone to mark an end to your pathetic existence,

to this joke of an anime.

Kin: Well done.

Kin: You and your friends have

made the atmosphere perfect for a final episode.

Kin: Don't worry about me.

Kin: I've backed up my data and prepared a new body.

Kin: Rest easy.

Kin: The finale will be very soon.

Gin: That's it?

Gin: Is that all you have to say?

Gin: Sorry, you took so long that I missed half of what you said.

Kin: Y-You'll pay for ignoring my warning!

Kin: If you k*ll me...

Gin: You're finished, right?

Kin: B-Bastard...

Kin: You think you can end this yourself?

Kin: Without recovering everything you've lost?

Gin: Nothing's going to end.

Gin: Except for

Gin: you and me, brother.

Kin: Seppuku?!

Kin: You'll lose more than your memories!

Kin: You're going to cr*pple yourself!

Gin: That's just fine.

Gin: Everyone else forgot about me.

Gin: It's my turn to forget.

Kin: Fool!

Kin: Have you forgotten that I've made a copy of myself?!

Gin: I have my own copies.

Gin: They don't listen to a word I say,

but they share the same soul.

Gin: Listen up, Kintoki.

Gin: The main character in Gintama

Gin: is every last idiot alive in this show!

Kag: Gin-chan!

Gin: Can I hold him back by myself?!

Gin: Sorry, everyone.

Gin: You finally remembered me,

but I doubt we'll be seeing each other again.

Gin: I was hoping to see your stupid faces one last ti—

Shin: Sorry, Gin-san. We kept you waiting.

Kag: We won't let you go off by yourself, Gin-chan.

Kag: We'll always be together.

Otae: Don't worry.

We won't forget you this time.

Otae: If you forget about me, I'll punch you.

Gin: Fools...

Gin: Now that you're here, this anime is really going to end!

Gin: And it just started again!

Shin: That's not true.

Shin: You'll be there.

Shin: We'll all be there

Shin: to save the day.

Kag: So it doesn't matter how many times we forget,

how many times we're separated.

Kag: Isn't that right, Gin-chan?

Gin: Yeah...

Gin: I'll find you.

Gin: We'll see each other again.

Toki: A sword isn't meant to be sheathed in underwear.

Toki: It belongs in a scabbard.

Toki: I don't think I can be your scabbard anymore,

Toki: but I'm sure there's a girl out there

who's worthy of being your scabbard,

Toki: so you must find her so you can be happy.

Kin: I don't wanna.

Kin: I want Tokiko-chan.

Toki: Geez, you're so stupid.

Toki: Will you make me a promise then?

Toki: If I'm reincarnated, I'll find you again.

Toki: So promise you'll also find me.

Kin: Uh-huh, I promise.

Kin: I'll find my precious scabbard.

Mantama,Caption: Mantama

Pink,Caption: aren't cute at all.

Sponsors,Caption: SponsorsOedo ExpendablesMatsuo & Kiyo Drugstore*Not real sponsors. We made them up.

Blue,Caption: Gold and silver

Blue,Caption: The new show Mantama

Pink,Caption: begins now.

Sponsors,Caption: SponsorsAndromeda Sweets Shop*Not real sponsors. We made them up.

Man Episode : A Man's Sword

Kin: Love Country.

Caution: ,Be sure to watch Mantama in a well-lit room and sit some distance from the TV!

Kin: There was a time, long ago, when our

: country was called by that name.

Sponsors,Kin: {\an\fad(,)} Years Ago

Kin: Twenty years ago, a mysterious building appeared out of nowhere

Kin: and spread a mysterious virus

Kin: that caused every man's pride to rot and fall off.

Kin: Where men and women once talked of love,

Kin: we now had trannies and women bitching.

Kin: Where men and women once spoke of love...

A: Fantabulosa!

Kin: ...was all that remained.

Kin: However, there was one last samurai with a resistance to the virus,

: whose sword of steel remained strong.

Kin: Sakata Kintoki.

Kin: Yes, he was the last hope for mankind.

Kin: The man who had the right to claim every woman on the planet,

Kin: but instead continued to search for a single scabbard.

Kin: That man was me.

A: Good morning, Sakata-kun!

A: Let's go to school together!

B: I made an extra lunch today.

B: Would you like it?

C: Sakata-kun promised to have lunch with me!

D: What are you talking about? He promised me, too.

Kin: Sorry, but I don't remember making

: any promises to you girls.

Kin: My promise is to someone else.

Kin: A promise that was made long before you were born.

B: Huh? What does that mean?

Kin: How much time has passed

since I started looking for you?

Kin: To keep my promise to you,

I changed my sword, my body, into metal,

Kin: so I could remain a man, even if I was no longer human.

Kin: Eventually, the human race will die and I'll be left alone.

Kin: But my sword will never break.

Kin: Even if you're reincarnated as a cockroach,

Kin: you will still be my precious partner.

Toki: Oh no!

Toki: I'm late on my first day at my new school!

Wham,SFX: Wham!

All: Are you okay, Sakata-kun?

Kin: Ow...

Toki: Ouch.

Toki: Oops, I screwed up!

Kin: Could it be...

Toki: I'm sorry. Are you hurt?

Kin: Is it truly...

Kin: ...her reincarnation?

Toki: Um, excuse me.

Toki: That's my plastic bottle.

Kin: Sh-Shit!

B: A plastic bottle is stuck on

the only sword left in the entire world!

Gor: What's all this fuss about?

C: Ms. Goriko!

C: It's terrible!

C: Look at Sakata-kun's crotch!

Gor: This is...

Gor: Don't touch it!

Gor: If the main character of this anime loses his crotch,

his only unique feature,

Gor: Sakata-kun will no longer be

qualified to be the main character!

Kin: Teach!

Don't make it sound like my crotch is all there is to me!

Gor: For now, let's carefully carry him to the nurse's office.

Gor: Here we go!

A: Teach! Could you be any less careful?!

B: Look out! There's a ball coming your way!

E: Teach! Please go to the nurse's office!

E: Thanks, Teach!

Kin: Hold on!

Kin: You've got two balls and a bat in your mitt now!

Okay, here I go!

Kin: Wait!

Kin: Those are my balls and bat!

E: Kick off!

Kin: Aren't you playing baseball?!

Kin: She hit the school!

Kin: My sword!

F: What's going on?

F: This came flying into the art room.

Kin: Is it okay?!

F: Yes, there was a broken screw in the bottle,

so I repaired it.

Kin: Bon voyage!

A: Sakata-kun's crotch has gone bon voyage!

Gor: Okay, let's take attendance!

Kin: It's over...

Kin: I finally found someone who appeared to be her reincarnation,

Kin: but my scabbard is a plastic bottle,

Kin: and my sword has set sail for a new world.

Kin: I can no longer...

Toki: Excuse me!

Gor: Hey, what do you think you're doing?

Gor: You're late on your first day.

Toki: I-I'm sorry.

Toki: Nice to meet you.

Toki: I'm a new transfer student.

Toki: Sorry about being late.

Toki: I was looking for something.

Toki: It took forever,

Toki: but I was finally able to find it.

Toki: Find you...

Toki: Sorry it took so long.

Kin: Tokiko-chan!

Toki: You don't need to cry.

Toki: Didn't we promise

Gin: that we would meet again?

Gintoki,Caption: Sakata Gintoki

Gin: Let's start over.

Gin: I'm the new transfer student, Sakata Gintoki.

Gin: Hey, what's with the look on your face?

Gin: Did you forget the promise we made?

Shin: Of course not.

Shin: It doesn't matter how many times we forget...

Kag: How many times we're separated.

Otae: We'll find you.

All: Right, Gin-san?

Gin: There you go, brother.

Gin: Sorry to ruin your main character gig, but Mantama

Gin: was created to be your tombstone.

Tama: Did you enjoy your brief experience as a main character?

Tama: Did you enjoy having everything important

to you taken away?

Tama: That's what you were doing.

Kin: I see...

So that world was a virtual one that you created.

Gen: When I was repairing you, I added a few safety measures.

Kin: That's why they still have their memories

after being hit by the hypnotic expl*si*n?

Gen: Heh, they didn't need my help.

Gen: Kintoki, the bond people share

Gen: goes deeper than the memory.

Gin: Tama, I've settled my score with him.

Gin: He's all yours now.

Gin: Boil him, fry him, do whatever you want.

Shin: Please wait, Tama-san!

Kag: Can you spare him?!

Shin: We were the ones who asked you to make him!

Kag: He was just trying to take Gin-chan's place as our leader!

Kag: He just went too far!

Shin: We'll join him in begging everyone for forgiveness!

Shin: Please!

Tama: Did you hear that?

Kin: You people are too soft.

Kin: Gintoki, this is the reality of what you've achieved.

Kin: See how your friends are too weak to finish off your enemy.

Kin: See how you were too powerless to do anything alone.

Kin: Your imperfect character was

: destined to fail, even without my intervention.

Gin: You're absolutely right.

Gin: I can't do anything alone.

Gin: Everyone here has their flaws and imperfections.

Gin: But that's what drives us to work together

to make up for those flaws.

Gin: Together, we make the perfect main character.

Gin: If you don't believe me, you can come back.

Gin: We'll take you on again.

Gin: See ya, imperfect plastic model.

Kin: Wait! Did you say I was imperfect?!

Kin: Take that back!

Tama: No, you are certainly imperfect.

Tama: You were so focused on altering other people's memories,

Tama: you didn't realize that other people were altering your soul.

Tama: You should treasure the life your friends spared.

Kin: Gramps...

Kin: Can you polish me up?

Gen: No idea. I can start by making you shiny gold.

Gen: No, shiny gold won't do.

Sa: Gin-san!

Gintama,Caption: Gintama

All: Welcome back!

Gen: Let's try making you

Back,Caption: Gintama Episode

shiny silver.

Back,Caption: We're Back