07x29 - Afros of Life and Death

[bunniefuu]

Police,Sign: Special Police Shinsengumi

Sign: Shinsengumi Recruitment Exam

Exam ,Sign: Shinsengumi Recruitment Exam

Warning ,Sign: The Shinsengumi's request: Please watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV.

G: P-Point! The match is over!

G: Wow, just who is that newcomer?

G: He's gone through thirty opponents now.

G: If he's that good, he'll be an immediate asset.

G: A real monster has arrived.

Kon: Looks like we've got ourselves a pretty spirited newcomer this time.

Kon: I can't believe there was still such a masterful free agent out there.

Kon: Toshi, who is he?

Hij: Uh, how is this read?

Hij: Hashira...

Kon: ...Afuro?

Hij: Nah, it's probably "Afro."

Kat: It's not Afro. It's Katsura!

Kat: Crap! I slipped!

Hij: "It's not Afro, it's Katsura," huh?

Hij: I feel like I've heard that phrase before.

Hij: Also, you look kinda familiar...

Kon: Stop it, Toshi.

Kon: He means that while his name's Afro,

Kon: that's a wig, a "katsura," on his head.

Kon: Don't pry too much.

Hij: But...

Oki: That aside,

Oki: mind if I take him on next?

Oki: It's about time we taught him how tough the Shinsengumi are.

Hij: Did you forget already, you sadistic instructor?

Hij: Just the other day, you rendered all our new recruits

Hij: useless in the name of training or whatever.

Hij: Instead, we should interview him and run a thorough background check...

Oki: Oh?

Oki: Now this is unusual.

Oki: Looks like this has fired up someone far scarier than me.

Oki: Rejoice, new guy.

Oki: He says he'll accept you into his squad without an interview...

Oki: If you can defeat Shinsengumi Third Squad Captain,

Oki: Saito Shimaru.

Saito,Sign: Shinsengumi Third Squad Captain Saito Shimaru

Wolf,: Wolf of Afro

Oki: Shimaru-niisan, the man feared as the Wolf of Afro, or "Wolfro."

Wolf,: Wolfro

Ep Title,Title: Afros of Life and Death

Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

Snack,Sign: Snack Otose

Gin: Huh? What are you doing?

Kat: Infiltrating the Shinsengumi to make them crumble from the inside...

Gin: ...was the plan, but they b*at you up and threw you out?

Sugar,: Sugar Content

Gin: Zura, you should first realize that you're crumbling on the inside yourself.

Shin: Still, he b*at up Katsura-san so badly.

Shin: Just who is this Third Squad Captain?

Kag: You lost the moment you resorted to cheap tricks like infiltration, Zura.

Kat: Leader...

Kat: I'm not Zura.

Kat: I'm the Special Vice Captain of the Third Squad,

Kat: Hashira Afuro!

Shin: Katsura-san?!

Kat: Did you really think I'd lose to a bakufu lapdog?

Kat: We exchanged blows for an hour,

Kat: but if Kondo hadn't stopped us, it wouldn't have ended in a draw.

Kat: I was exhausted due to fighting thirty straight battles before,

Kat: felt alienated in unfamiliar territory,

Kat: had the afro wig prickling me,

Kat: was wrought by anxieties about my future,

Kat: and irritated by a mouth ulcer.

Kat: Had it not been for those, I would've won for sure.

Gin: Just how many excuses have you got?

Gin: You barely escaped with a draw, didn't you?

Kat: That said, he was an opponent worthy of respect.

Kat: He was so skilled, even Okita had high praise for him.

Oki: I'm impressed that you fought Shimaru-niisan on equal footing.

Oki: While you didn't win, your abilities are on par with mine.

Oki: You pass.

Oki: And Shimaru-niisan said he wouldn't hold your stealing his afro gimmick against you.

Shin: He picked a fight for such a stupid reason?!

Kat: Most of all, he had a shockingly discerning eye.

Kat: He recognized my talents and made me his vice captain out of the blue.

Third,Sign: Third Squad Saito Shimaru Hashira Afuro

Kat: He's no ordinary man.

Shin: There are only two members!

Shin: Why was this captain the only person in the squad he's running?!

Kat: It's not that he was the only one,

Kat: but rather that he was the only one cut out for it.

Kat: Unlike other squads, to maintain Edo's public order is not the Third Squad's job.

Kat: Due to its special duties,

Kat: it's feared as the "Silent Squad."

Kat: Excuse me.

Kat: I'm Hashira Afuro, and I am part of the squad as of today.

Kat: It's a pleasure to work with you, Captain Saito.

Toilet,Sign: Toilet

Sai: Zed...

Sai: Zed...

Kat: S-So this is the Silent Squad?!

Shin: It just has nothing to do!

Kat: On top of being a man of few words, I believe he's also a foreigner.

Kat: All he ever said was "zed."

Shin: Those weren't zeds!

Shin: They were just the Zs of his snoring!

Shin: And all he did was take a dump and sleep!

Shin: Special duties, my foot!

Kat: That's not all.

Oki: Don't take it the wrong way.

Oki: Shimaru-niisan may have flashy hair, but he's extraordinarily shy.

Oki: I'm closer to him than most, but the last time I heard his voice was two years ago,

Oki: when he was holding up the line at a convenience store.

Oki: Sorry about that, everyone.

Oki: Please heat up the lunch box.

Oki: Is that okay, Shimaru-niisan?

Sai: Zed...

Kat: ...was his only reply, apparently.

Shin: In the end, he didn't say anything at all!

Shin: He can't even buy a lunch box! Of course a captain so quiet would end up alone!

Shin: Everyone else must've run away 'cause they couldn't deal with him!

Kat: That's not it.

Kat: As things stood, my infiltration would've been for naught.

Kat: So I started making contact with him in a bid to gain influence in the third squad...

Kat: Zed?

Sai: Zed.

Kat: Zed!

Sai: Zed...

Kat: But no matter what I said, I only got Zs in reply.

Shin: All you said was Zs, too!

Kat: Captain Wolfro doesn't just take dumps all day.

Kat: He was always working on some sort of document.

Kat: When he was in the toilet, I checked it out...

Shin: A diary?

Shin: That silent guy was writing a diary?

Kat: "Today, a new recruit joined my Third Squad.

Kat: The Shinsengumi doesn't have room for two afroz.

Kat: I considered eliminating him,

Kat: but it's a fact that the Third Squad needs more memberz."

Shin: What's with the Zs?

Shin: Does he end every sentence with Zs?!

Kat: "I have no choice but to let him join...

Kat: ...zzzzzzzzzz."

Shin: He dozed off!

Shin: Even in his diary, he wraps things up with Zs?!

Kat: All it took was one look to realize that I could use this.

Shin: Oh, an exchange diary?

Shin: Even if he gets tongue-tied easily, you might still be able to communicate on paper.

Red,Sign: Write this part with more flourish. - Afuro-sensei

Kat: "Write this part with more flourish."

Shin: Who are you, a teacher with a red pen?!

Shin: Why are you criticizing his Zs?!

Kat: Starting an exchange diary out of nowhere is scary.

Shin: Playing a teacher with a red pen should be scarier!

Kat: After that, I found this entry.

Afuro,Sign: Hashira Afuro

Shin: Huh? What is this?

Shin: What does it mean?

Kat: When I replied to that as such...

Afuro,Sign: Hashira Afuro

Diary,Sign: Boop Beep Bam Boom Chaka Boom Beep Boop Bow Boom Shakalaka - Prince of Cannock's Theme

Shin: What the hell are you writing down in someone's diary?!

Kat: ...I found this written the next day.

Afuro,Sign: Hashira Afuro

Diary,Sign: Boop Beep Bam Boom Chaka Boom Beep Boop Bow Boom Shakalaka - Prince of Cannock's Theme

Kat: And the day after that...

Afuro,Sign: Hashira Afuro z

Diary,Sign: Boop Beep Bam Boom Chaka Boom Beep Boop Bow Boom Shakalaka - Prince of Cannock's Theme

Shin: Wait a second.

Shin: This thing under your name...

Shin: He's trying to write "Z," isn't he?

Shin: What happens once it's complete?

Kat: When I took a closer look at the diary, I found this...

Shin: What the hell?!

Shin: You found something totally terrifying!

Kat: I checked,

Kat: and the names written there belonged to former members of the Third Squad.

Kat: They had all broken the Shinsengumi Code,

Kat: and were suspected of having shady links with Joi Rebels.

Kat: In other words, they were men who'd betrayed the Shinsengumi in some way.

Kat: And as is obvious from looking at the Third Squad now,

Kat: their names are all gone from the roster.

Kat: You get it by now, right?

Kat: Basically, the reason the Third Squad has no members

Kat: is because they were all purged by that man.

Kat: He deliberately recruited traitors into his squad and punished them in secret.

Kat: That's the secret behind the "Silent Squad," Shinsengumi Third Squad.

Shin: That means...

Shin: He knows who you are already!

Shin: Doesn't that mean he let you join so he could k*ll you?!

Shin: Doesn't that mean you'll be dead when the Z in the diary is completed?!

Kat: If he knew who I was, the Z would've been completed by now.

Kat: He probably only suspects me at the moment.

Gin: Zura.

Gin: You're free to be purged or become an afro,

Gin: but could you not bring me trouble?

Gin: I'll k*ll you, seriously.

Kat: What are you saying, Gintoki?

Kat: Sure, it's risky, but if I play my cards right,

Kat: I could use the Third Squad to purge the Shinsengumi brass in one fell swoop!

Gin: Hey, could this be...

Shin: It's already too late?!

Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

Kat: That silhouette which resembles a younger Tsurube II...

Kat: No doubt about it. It's Captain Wolfro.

Kag: Did he finally figure out who you are and come to k*ll you?

Gin: Do something about this.

Gin: At this rate, we'll be mistaken for t*rrorists, too.

Kat: What are you saying, Gintoki?

Kat: Aren't we afro bros, bound by frizzy hair?

Gin: Whose hair are you calling an afro?!

: Huh?

Shin: The afro silhouette's gone—

Shin: Eek! He broke in from the back?!

Gin: Hide Zura! Hide Zura!

: Wh-Who is you?!

: How dare you barge into someone's house with an afro?

: D-Don't you think you're being rude?!

: Hey! What do you think you're doing?

: Take off your afro first!

: We're not cultivating any shady afros here!

: Hey, hold up!

Gin: Give it a rest.

Shin: Gin-san!

Gin: I don't care if you're a cop or whatever.

Gin: The Sakata house is governed by its own laws.

Gin: If you keep dropping your filthy, frizzy hair all over the place,

Gin: you'll have to pay with more than your pubes, boss.

Gin: He just took a dump and left!

Shin: What did he even come here to do?!

Kag: We didn't get it because he was silent,

Kag: but it looks like he simply wanted to use the toilet.

Shin: Could he have been any more misleading?!

Gin: Guess it's true that he's a man of exceedingly few words.

Gin: He was going around searching for a toilet, not Zura, huh?

Gin: Just how close was he to soiling himself?

Gin: What kind of cop takes a dump and leaves without saying a word?

Kag: It wasn't just nuggets he left behind.

Application,Sign: Application To Odd Jobs

Shin: He was here with a job request?!

Gin: H-Hey...

Gin: Zura, this...

Gin: Wait, where'd Zura go?!

Kat: If I don't strike first, I'll be exposed and purged before long.

Kat: I must k*ll before I'm k*lled.

Gin: "To Odd Jobs,

Gin: I apologize for this sudden letter."

Sai: I'm Z, a civil servant working in Edo.

Sai: I seek your help to resolve a long-standing problem of mine,

Sai: which is why I'm writing an anonymous letter to you folkz.

Shin: Uh, it may be anonymous, but it couldn't be more obvious.

Shin: A bunch of things are totally exposed here.

Sai: I've always been called a silent, cool person,

Sai: but that's not true.

Sai: What if my small talk falls flat?

Sai: What if I stutter?

Sai: What if they find my voice weird?

Sai: What if they think I'm getting cocky because

Sai: I suddenly speak up after staying silent for so long?

Sai: I have all these negative thoughts before I speak, so I stay silent out of fear.

Sai: But in truth, I'm just a normal guy who wants to have fun conversationz.

Shin: He was troubled by it!

Shin: Captain Wolfro is surprisingly timid!

Sai: But whenever I try to talk to people, I get nervous and my tummy aches,

Sai: so I always end up in toiletz.

Shin: That's why he's always taking dumps?

Sai: What if they think I do nothing but take dumps?

Sai: What if they think my lower mouth's awfully talkative even though I'm so silent?

Sai: What if they think, though my name means "end," my own end doesn't work so well?

Sai: Thinking about all that put me at an even greater loss for wordz.

Shin: Just how delicate is he?!

Sai: Ironically, the higher-ups liked my silent nature

Sai: and put me in charge of secret investigations.

Sai: Before long, I could only speak in diary entriez.

Sai: And one day,

Sai: my men found my "Prospective Friendz" list,

Sai: the Z List in short, which I'd been compiling in secret.

Shin: That's what the Z stood for?!

Sai: They read too much into it and fled,

Sai: and even though I'd finally found people I might be able to talk to,

Sai: I ended up having to punish them with my own handz.

Shin: He has an innate ability to fish out shady people!

Shin: I feel for the guy, but he's perfectly suited for secret investigations!

Sai: I didn't want to k*ll my comrades anymore, even if they had broken the Code.

Sai: So I gave up on talking and was living my life in solitude

Sai: when that man suddenly appeared in front of my eyez.

Sai: I kept silent, but he didn't let that faze him.

Sai: He kept talking to me frankly multiple timez.

Sai: Looking at his brazen yet resolute figure

Sai: cleared my mind of all doubtz.

Sai: The one who would be my friend...

Afuro,Sign: Hashira Afuro z

Sai: ...was Hashira Afuro, and no one elz.

Shin: Uh, that guy should be at the top of your hit-list!

Sai: "But as for how to talk to him, I'm completely out of ideaz.

Sai: I'd be forever grateful if you could offer me some advice."

Shin: Oh my God!

Shin: Never mind purging Katsura-san,

Shin: he's trying to make friends with him without realizing he's an enemy!

Kag: We should tell him that

Kag: the moron has infiltrated the Shinsengumi with evil intentions in mind.

Shin: But then Katsura-san will get purged.

Shin: Gin-san, what do we do?

Gin: Man, this has turned into a pain in the ass.

Gin: We ended up accepting a lot of money, too.

Gin: But he's saying he doesn't want to k*ll his friends anymore,

Gin: so we can't make him k*ll Zura.

Gin: In which case, having them truly become friends

Gin: might be the easiest way out of this mess.

Gin: They're enemies, but if Zura gets attached to him,

Gin: he might withdraw.

Shin: Is that even possible?

Shin: The two of them are Shinsengumi and Joi Rebel, you know.

Gin: Who the hell do you think I am?

Gin: I was born through a pair of smooth-talking lips...

Gin: Down there, that is.

Shin: That goes for everyone.

Gin: I'm well aware of Zura's quirks.

Gin: Bring me a pen and paper.

Gin: Z-san, I understand your long-standing loneliness so much, it hurts.

Gin: But don't you think you're being a bit overeager?

Gin: You've been silent for years,

Gin: so it's impossible for you to become talkative overnight.

Gin: Besides, Zura—

Gin: People don't pay too much attention to what others say.

Gin: Why don't you start off with listening to them?

Kat: Captain Saito.

Kat: I made you tea.

Kat: It's about time for a break, wouldn't you say?

Kat: I must get rid of this man at once

Kat: and gain control of the Third Squad, no matter what.

Kat: While it pains me to use such a dirty trick, I poisoned this tea.

Kat: It is for a just cause.

Kat: I cannot be picky about my methods.

Kat: Help yourself.

Gin: Even if you can't speak, you can listen to others, nod, and smile.

Gin: That's all it takes to have a successful conversation.

Gin: A smile, especially, can be used in any situation,

Gin: making it an excellent communication tool.

Gin: If you're at a loss, smile.

Gin: Please keep that in mind.

Kat: Wh-What's with that smile?!

Kat: Don't tell me... He realized?!

Kat: Impossible!

Kat: This poison has no taste or odor!

Kat: It should be impossible to notice with the naked eye!

Kat: But this smile practically screams that he's realized!

Kat: He's totally realized!

Kat: Is he telling me he'll accept my challenge head-on with a smile?

Kat: No, it can't be. I must be imagining things.

Kat: A smile this creepy couldn't possibly exist!

Kat: His face is probably just twitching out of exhaustion!

Kat: This is the end, Wolfro!

Gin: When you're the listener, there may be times when the other person stops talking.

Gin: At such times,

Gin: try causing a minor "accident" of sorts.

Gin: Mishaps are a far superior conversation topic than mere words.

Kat: F-Forgive me!

Kat: That tea was too hot!

Kat: I'll go make some more!

Gin: His smile is way too scary!

Shin: That was a total bust.

Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

Shin: Instead of making him Wolfro's friend, it only made Katsura-san more cautious!

Gin: I thought it'd be better than making him talk unnaturally,

Gin: but even his smile was unnatural, huh?

Kag: What now? He sent us a letter to complain.

Letter,Sign: I've been doing as you said and smiling since then, but people are keeping their distance even more now. Even my diarrhea's gotten worse. Did I do something wrong? Did my assh*le do something wrong? Please respond. - Civil Servant Z

Shin: This is bad.

Shin: He's dropping that smile all over the place.

Shin: He's growing more and more isolated!

Gin: Man, screw it.

Gin: Z-san, let's move on to the next step.

Gin: Small talk might make you self-conscious, but making necessary conversation is easy.

Gin: Among those, conversations about work are most effective.

Gin: Try taking him along for work and answering any questions he may have.

Shin: Well, he managed to bring him along all right,

Shin: but Katsura-san's being super wary!

Shin: He's not going to ask any questions!

Gin: Now, now.

Gin: Once they get to work, they'll have to talk, whether they like it or not.

Shin: Now he's speechless!

Shin: This sucks! Unknown to us, Elizabeth-san was captured!

Shin: What's worse, Saito-san is also in charge of t*rture!

Gin: Wait, why is he wearing a Shinsengumi uniform, too?

Gin: Was he trying to sneak in with that? Did he really think they wouldn't find out?!

Shin: A conversation's out of the question now.

Shin: Katsura-san's going to explode for sure this time!

Eliza,Sign: K-Katsura-san!

Kat: This is a great sandbag!

Shin: He cast him aside without a moment's hesitation!

Kat: Where'd you find this?

Kat: I'd love to have one at home, too.

Kat: Damn you, Wolfro!

Kat: Did you think you could trap me with this?

Kat: Elizabeth, now is the time to endure.

Kat: I promise to avenge you—

Kat: Elizabeth...

Schedule,Sign: Feeding Zabeth Rotation Mon - Saito Tue - Hashira Wed - Saito Thu - Saito Fri - Hashira

Shin: He domesticated him?!

Shin: I thought he caught and tortured him, but he was just keeping Elizabeth-san as a pet!

Eliza ,Sign: There, there.

Eliza,Sign: Purr, purr.

Gin: He's really taken a liking to him! The two silent types have made a connection!

Kat: H-How could this be?!

Kat: In such a short time, he tamed Elizabeth even more than I did?!

Kat: Say it isn't so, Elizabe—

Kat: I can't believe it.

Kat: I don't believe it!

Shin: What is he doing?!

Shin: Never mind throwing the Shinsengumi into a panic, he's the one who's panicking most!

Gin: But this might be for the best.

Gin: A Shinsengumi officer and a Joi Rebel becoming friends was impossible to begin with.

Gin: Zura will surely learn his lesson and withdraw.

Gin: This was for the best. It really was.

Saito,Sign: One Month Later

Kat: Let's go,

Kat: Shinsengumi Third Squad!

Kat: Afro Squad, charge in!

All: Yeah!

Tsuzuku,Sign: To Be Continued

Ep Title,Title: Afuro and Wolfro

Sai: Next week, "Afuro and Wolfro" airz.

text r: We thought this story would end in one episode,

text l: but in the Third Squad, for some reason Hashira Afuro's in charge of thingz?

text r: The strategy used by Katsura (currently Hashira) puts Saito Shimaru in a real predicament.

text l: What will happen to the Shinsengumi and Shimaruzzzz...