Kag: Let me introduce you, 'kay?
Kag: This is my boyfriend, Dai-chan from Planet Titan.
Shin: Huh?
Shin: Wait, what?!
Shin: Kagura-chan, what do you mean, Titan?!
Gin: Hey, what's the meaning of this? This isn't what you said!
UB: Kagura-chan, who was the boy that gave you the letter, then?
Kag: Oh, he was just a friend who handed over the letter in Dai-chan's place.
Kag: Dai-chan's too big to write a letter,
Kag: and it seems he was too shy to hand it over himself.
Shin: Uh... Wait, you actually had such a huge friend?
Kag: Yep. Soyo-chan introduced us.
Shin: The princess?
Kag: Believe it or not, Dai-chan's the prince of Planet Titan.
Kag: But being so big, he had no one to play with and nowhere he could play, so he was bored.
Kag: So I played with him, 'kay?
Kag: And then he got attached to me.
G: Monsters!
Gin: I don't know if I'd call this "attached"...
Bo: It looks more like he brought an army to conquer Earth!
Gintama,OP Card: Gintama
Slip Arc,OP Card: Slip Arc
Title: My Bald Dad, My Light-Haired Dad, and My Dad's Glasses
Warning: Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room andat a safe distance from your TV!
Kag: Awesome, right? I totally got the jump on the bingo balls of life.
Gin: You may have hit bingo with royalty...
Gin: But his balls are way too big! Riding those would be harder than riding a Gundam!
Kag: Anyway, don't be so nervous, 'kay? Take a seat, Dai-chan.
Gin: Huh? Wait, what now?
Gin: Is this the boy? Is this really the boyfriend?
Gin: What's a "boyfriend," again? How is it spelled?
UB: Calm down. He's just a big boyfriend.
UB: A father whose daughter's boyfriend thinks he's a pushover is done for.
UB: Oh, I see. So you're Kagura's boyfriend.
UB: Thanks for being there for her.
UB: I'm her father.
Gin: That's the space-famous Umibozu for you.
Gin: With no fear of the massive boyfriend, he showed off how dignified a father can be.
Gin: F-F...
Gin: Father!
Shin: Umibozu-san!
Shin: He's been turned to mincemeat! Only one of his b*lls remains!
Gin: That's not one of his b*lls! It's just his cue ball!
Dai: Ah, my bad.
Dai: Damn, I overdid it.
Dai: I ain't been on Earth long,
Dai: so I don't really get how to do greetings or, like, the bowing thing.
Dai: And, like, I can't stand that kinda formal crap, anyway.
Dai: You can ignore the prince thing, so why don't we keep things frank and casual, Pops?
Dai: Since you're Kagura's old man, I already consider you a bro.
Dai: Oh, could you tell me your email address?
UB: I see. Then I'll tell you...
UB: the email address to Hell!
Gin: Why me?!
UB: C-Calm down! Grow up!
UB: You promised to be a grown-up today!
Gin: You calm down!
UB: He comes across as incredibly audacious, but I'm imagining things, right?
UB: It just seems like he's looking down on us because he's so huge, right?
UB: Kids these days are all like that, right? Right?!
Gin: We'll never get anywhere if you get pissed by whatever a kid says.
Gin: Let me handle this.
Gin: Y-Yeah, Earth's societal norms are too complicated, huh?
Gin: We just wanted to meet Kagura's friend, is all.
Gin: Anyway, make yourself at home. Want some tea?
Dai: Nah, I'm good. I'm chewing gum.
Gin: Really? We have snacks, too.
Dai: Seriously, I'm good. Earth food doesn't suit my taste.
Gin: Oh, really?
Gin: Could he be any more blunt? Is he messing with me?
Gin: What do you usually eat?
Gin: Your size must complicate things.
Dai: Hip hop.
Gin: What do you mean, you eat hip hop?
Dai: The only things on Earth that suit my tastes are hip hop and reggae.
Dai: They're music of the soul, check it out.
Kag: Apparently, everyone on his planet is a b-boy.
Gin: Uh, you guys are just big boys!
Dai: Everything else is old-fashioned and lame.
Gin: Look who's talking! You're all dressed like cavemen!
Dai: Honestly, I was shocked I had to come meet my girlfriend's folks.
Gin: Huh? Why?
Dai: What matters is how the couple feels in their hearts.
Dai: Parents sticking their nose into it is totally lame, I say.
Dai: Earth is pretty behind the times, huh?
Gin: Really? I can't tell. Are we?
Gin: Anyway, isn't it normal to be worried about the kind of friends your daughter has?
Gin: Right, Kagura?
Dai: Y'know, I've been meaning to point this out.
Dai: I'm not her friend.
Dai: I'm her boyfriend.
Gin: Oh, sorry. Boyfriend, huh?
Gin: I hate to say it, but that word doesn't exist on Earth.
Gin: Right, Kagura?
Dai: Hey, can I be straight with you? Who are you to Kagura?
Dai: I don't want some rando calling her "Kagura" like they're close.
Dai: She's my gal.
Kag: Dai-chan, I mentioned this before.
Kag: Gin-chan's my Earth dad.
Kag: Wait, brother?
Kag: Oh, I know. He's like crab lice, 'kay?
Gin: Why did I regress to being crab lice?!
Dai: Y'know, you're going out with me. Why are you still living with your ex?
Dai: I won't stand for half-assing things like that.
Dai: Keep messing with my gal, and I'll make a mess of Earth.
Dai: FYI, we could wipe out yourEarth if we wanted to.
Dai: If I say the word, my bros all over the galaxy will gather here.
Gin: Bring it!
Gin: att*ck on anytime you want, titans!
Gin: I'll force a retreat back into space!
Gin: For your hairline, that is!
UB: Why my hairline?!
Gin: Calm down! You're a grown-up!
Gin: Now we're even!
UB: Grown-ups don't obsess over getting even!
Gin: I'm imagining things, right?
Gin: Some brain-dead boy is saying he'll wipe out Earth,
Gin: but only your hair roots will be wiped out, right?
Gin: Right? Right?!
UB: Just calm down, you two.
UB: Dai-kun, it's not what you think. These two aren't like that.
UB: Kagura's only working a live-in job here.
UB: Honestly, I'm against it too, but she doesn't listen to me.
Dai: For real? Who would want to work here?
Shin: Calm down!
Dai: But you can rest assured, Pops.
Dai: I'm gonna finish my work here and go back home soon.
Dai: I plan on taking Kagura with me.
Kag: Hey, what are you talking about?
Dai: Oh, keep your mouth shut.
Dai: I don't intend to half-ass things with Kagura.
Dai: I'm gonna marry her.
Shin: Hey! What are you two doing?!
UB: I'm imagining things, right?
UB: I think I heard the word "marry" just now, but I'm just imagining things, right?
Gin: Yeah, that's right. It's totally just your imagination.
Kag: Who said you could talk like that?
Kag: Marry me? That's news to me.
Dai: Oh, keep your mouth shut!
Dai: We're discussing something important here.
Gin: Uh, I'm not sure I follow. Aren't you skipping a few too many steps?
Gin: That stuff comes after dating and things going well.
Gin: And you haven't even started dating yet.
Dai: We don't need to do all that crap.
Dai: We're soulmates. Our hearts are totally resonating.
Gin: Oh, really?
UB: Now, now. Puppy love makes your mind go blank and blinds you.
UB: Most people start finding tons of faults
UB: and come to hate each other eventually.
Dai: Nah, that ain't happening with us.
Dai: I ain't got any faults.
Dai: And even if Kagura does, I've got the heart to accept them all.
UB: Oh, really?
Gin: Nah, you won't be saying that for long.
Gin: You'll learn how big a glutton she is once you live with her.
Gin: She'll destroy your food budget.
Gin: Plus she's crude and can't cook anything but egg-on-rice.
Gin: She's sure to be a useless housewife who doesn't do any housework.
UB: Yeah, yeah.
UB: Plus she's a 'kay addict who needs a trip to 'Kay A.
UB: And your kids will % inherit the bald gene.
UB: What do you even see in her?
UB: If I were you, I'd never pick her up if she was lying on the street.
UB: I'd take her to the lost and found!
Kag: Oh, really?!
Kag: This is perfect, then.
Kag: You can marry me off and get rid of me.
Kag: Fine by me, 'kay? I don't like half-assing things, either.
Kag: Guess we can date with an eye toward marriage.
UB: Wait!
Gin: That's not it!
Dai: Well, there you have it. You'll give us your blessings, right?
Shin: Now, now.
Shin: Calm down, all of you.
Shin: Putting aside the taking Kagura-chan along thing for now...
Shin: We'll just take it as a sign that you're serious about this relationship.
Shin: That's okay, right?
Bo: Hell no!
UB: You're just a rotten virgin with zero experience! Stay out of this!
UB: They're not getting engaged at such a young age!
Gin: Quit mouthing off about your naïve ideals!
Gin: Love is just a illusion!
Gin: True love only begins once that illusion wears off, you stupid brats!
Shin: Tell them, not me!
Bo: We're being grown-ups here because you told us to grow up!
Shin: Then say what you're supposed to as grown-ups!
Gin: What the hell, man? What's a grown-up, anyway?
Gin: I don't know anymore!
Shin: Meanwhile, those two went off on their date!
Bo: Ack!
Kag: Man, dating is a pain.
Kag: Can't we just stay friends?
Kag: We're only gonna be sparring like usual anyway, right?
Dai: Nah, it was only during the day so far,
Dai: but now we'll be able to spar at night, too.
Dai: More than anything, I don't wanna let anyone else have you.
Kag: I don't see why I have to be monopolized by either you or those morons.
Dai: Are you stupid? You know that ain't it.
Dai: If you love someone, you wanna make them yours alone.
Dai: Ain't it only natural to feel that way?
Kag: Well, I wouldn't really care if someone else took you.
Dai: Y-You just haven't realized that you're in love yet because you're such a child!
Kag: Then what? Those morons are saying they don't wanna give me away.
Kag: Are they in love with me, too?
Dai: That's a different kinda love. Like, familial.
Dai: But we gotta distance ourselves from that and find our own love someday.
Kag: I see. But in a way, they love me too, huh?
Dai: Hey, what are you smirking for?
Kag: No reason.
Kag: It's been a long day. I'm exhausted.
Kag: Let's save the date for another day, 'kay?
Dai: What? Why?!
Dai: I said I'm going back home soon, didn't I?
Kag: We can just have a long-distance relationship.
Dai: Hey, wait up!
Dai: Are you okay with being separated from me?
Dai: I could cheat on you back home! You okay with that?!
Kag: That's pretty much it, Dai-chan.
Kag: You can find love scattered anywhere.
Kag: But those scatterbrains...
Kag: ...I can only find here.
Kag: See you.
Kag: Write to me, 'kay?
Dai: I ain't letting you go, Kagura.
Dai: I ain't gonna accept a long-distance relationship.
Dai: I finally found robust genes that are worthy of being inherited by titans.
Dai: I can't let the people on this planet keep them all to themselves.
Soyo: What?!
Soyo: Kagura-chan and Prince Dai?!
Soyo: I didn't know those two had that kind of relationship.
Soyo: He took Kagura-chan from me. I feel a little b*rned.
Bo: Things really will burn.
UB: If you don't tell us where they hang out right now...
Gin: ...we'll burn down your castle.
Shin: Hey! The princess has nothing to do with this!
Shin: She didn't do anything wrong!
Gin: But you're the one who introduced him to Kagura, right?
Gin: Where did you guys hang out?
Gin: Which love hotel district? Which storeroom behind a gym?
Gin: Which orgy venue?
Soyo: We'd never hang out at such places!
Soyo: I-It was usually the river bank or the park...
Soyo: Hey!
Soyo: They might be gone already!
Shin: There they go.
Shin: What do you mean, they might be gone?
Soyo: Despite what the titans look like,
Soyo: they're a peaceful and quiet race as long as they can listen to hip hop.
Soyo: There's just one thing.
Soyo: Titan royalty have looked for their brides on other planets for generations.
Soyo: But what they do after they find her is crazy.
Soyo: They look to monopolize her genes.
Soyo: To prevent the spread of their perfect spouse's genes outside their own race,
Soyo: they eradicate all life on the bride's home planet,
Soyo: leaving no traces, not even a strand of DNA.
Massive_UFO_in_E,Sign: Massive UFOin Edo Skies
Hana: Are you all seeing this?
Hana: Titans suddenly appeared in Edo,
Hana: with a huge ship that nearly covers the entire sky above the city.
Hana: Just who are they?
Shin: Dai-kun will destroy Earth?
Shin: No way! Did we treat him badly?
Shin: Did we act too much like an annoying mother-in-law?!
Soyo: That's not really the issue.
Shin: Forget coming to take our girl,
Shin: he came to take our Earth?!
Shin: Forget the bingo balls of life,
Shin: he came to crush the ball that gives us life?!
Soyo: We must stop the titans at once.
Soyo: I'll let Brother know and have the Bakufu Army move out right away.
Shin: You've got it wrong.
Shin: They aren't the ones we need to stop.
Shin: The titans aren't the ones we need to be truly afraid of.
Hana: Oh, look at that!
Hana: An army of titans dressed in formal attire is descending on us!
Dai: Earthlings.
Dai: As Planet Titan's representative, allow me to express our gratitude.
Dai: You have our heartfelt gratitude for giving us the perfect bride.
Dai: Rejoice.
Dai: With this ceremony,
Dai: Earthling DNA will gain eternal prosperity along with us titans.
Dai: Please give your blessings to our marriage ceremony.
Hana: I-Is this a wedding?
Hana: The titans have destroyed the city and built a big marriage venue!
Hana: Wait, is that...
Hana: An Earthling girl?!
Hana: The titans have taken a lone girl c*ptive!
P: Do you promise to be true to her in good times and bad,
P: in sickness and in health, and to love and honor her all the days of your life?
Dai: I do.
Hana: Is this a ceremony to take that girl as his wife?
P: Bride. Do you promise to be true to him in good times and bad,
P: in sickness and in health, and to love and honor him all the days of your life?
Dai: She said she does.
P: You may now seal your vows with a kiss.
Hana: That innocent girl's purity is about to be taken by those massive lips!
Dai: Kagura...
Dai: Now your strong genes belong to me!
Dai: You should just look at me, and me alone.
Shin: Hold it right there!
Dai: Wait, father!
Dai: We can't! I don't swing that way!
Dai: Father? Father!
Shin: Dai-kun.
Shin: I'm sorry, but I can't let you have Kagura-chan.
Shin: You don't have the right
Shin: to call yourself her boyfriend.
Dai: Damn you...
Dai: How dare you ruin this sacred ceremony and my first kiss?!
Shin: It's too bad.
Shin: In your obsession with keeping Kagura-chan to yourself,
Shin: you trampled on her feelings and tried to take away something precious to her.
Dai: This has nothing to do with you! Piss off!
Shin: Do you understand?!
Shin: The dear daughter he raised was taken from him by some random guy,
Shin: and yet, for her sake, he tried to welcome him with a smile.
Shin: Do you understand that bald father's feelings?
Shin: Do you understand?
Shin: He let go of the person he'd protected with care for so long,
Shin: believed in the man she chose, and even tried to entrust his sword to him.
Shin: Do you understand that light-haired father's feelings?
Shin: Do you understand?
Shin: He actually felt really sad,
Shin: but held back his tears and played the straight man for Kagura's sake.
Shin: Do you understand how those father's glasses felt?!
Dai: Will you guys shut up about fathers already?
Dai: Quit poking your nose in a couple's relationship!
Dai: It's gross as hell!
Dai: If you can't let your child go, I'll lop off your arm for you!
Dai: Before the ceremony, cause a bloodbath with the annoying apes of Earth!
Dai: Offer them up as sacrifices for our wedding!
Dai: att*ck on, titans!
Hana: Oh, no! Titans are pouring out of their mother ship!
Hana: Are we witnessing the apocalypse?!
Dai: Adios, fathers.
Dai: Your dear daughter belongs to me, the great Dai!
Dai: Huh? I don't think we arranged for a rice shower...
Hana: A rain of blood?
Hana: Can you believe it? Instead of a rice shower, a red shower of blood is raining down!
Hana: It's the blood of titans!
Hana: This isn't titans attacking on! It's an att*ck on titans!
Dai: N-No way.
Shin: Gross?
Shin: Fine by us.
Shin: Be it a boyfriend's possessiveness toward his girl, or a race's possessiveness,
Shin: all men are gross in one way or another, including you.
Shin: But that's nothing.
Shin: You're up against a father's gross possessiveness toward his daughter.
Shin: Don't think you can b*at that!
Gin: Hey, boyfriend. I'm impressed.
Gin: I never expected you to be prepared to destroy Earth to make Kagura yours.
Gin: When you're asking someone for their daughter they raised with love,
Gin: you do need the balls to take an entire planet.
Gin: Yeah, it takes balls from both the taker and the giver.
Dai: You guys want to start a planetary w*r over a single girl?!
UB: As if grown-ass grown-ups would ever do that for a filthy brat like her.
Gin: You can take her with you, but...
Bo: Only once you grow up and learn how to bow!
Gin: We finally said something grown up.
UB: Yeah.
UB: Now we're full-fledged adults, too.
Bo: Oh...
Bo: We forgot about Kagura.
Odd_Jobs_Gin_cha,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Shin: Whoa, hold it.
Shin: What's with that huge letter?
Kag: It's a letter from Dai-chan from back home.
Kag: You guys should read it, too.
Shin: What? From that prince?
Shin: Are we gonna be okay? He's not declaring w*r or anything, right?
Shin: If he comes back to take Kagura-chan, what do we do, Gin-san?
Gin: Shinpachi, send a reply at once.
UB: "She's a good-for-nothing daughter, but please take—"
Shin: Uh...
Shin: "Thanks for taking care of me during my stay on Earth.
Shin: Interacting with a different culture, I've realized the importance of family.
Shin: In particular, I had the opportunity to learn all too well how great fathers are.
Shin: It was a great learning experience."
Shin: Huh? He's turned over a new leaf and become a different person!
UB: Well, his letters are always polite.
Dai: The next time I get a girlfriend,
Dai: I want to forget about our dated and evil customs and treat her family well, too.
Dai: In particular, I'll treat the father well.
Dai: I'll try not to defy the father, no matter what.
Shin: Uh, fathers have totally become a trauma to him now.
UB: Well, a lot happened, but all's well that ends well.
UB: He took a step forward as a person.
UB: With this, the home planet of those lugs should improve a little bit.
Gin: Apparently not.
Dai: P.S. I recently found some amazing genes that interest me.
Dai: Fathers really are amazing, huh?
Shin: Um...
Shin: I don't know about improving. If this keeps up, their planet will die out.
Gin: This is on you.
Gin: He awakened to the other side because of what you did to the priest.
Shin: Don't pin all the blame on me! You did this by going too far!
Gin: Tell the old man that. I'm not the father.
UB: What do you mean? I'm still young enough to be called "bro"!
Gin: Yeah, right, "bro." More like your hair all went "go home."
UB: They didn't go home! I'm still attacking on, fightan!
Shin: What happened to bro?
Kag: To Dai-chan.
Kag: I learned a lot thanks to you, too.
Kag: I don't really get the difference between romantic and familial love yet,
Kag: but for now,
Kag: I'm fine with having just these guys as boyfriends.
Ep Title,Title: A Bowl of Ramen
Gin: Next time: "A Bowl of Ramen."
TextR: Next time, the widow running a ramen place,
TextL: Ikumatsu, makes an appearance after ten long years.
TextR: We have the always familiar, the nostalgic,
TextL: and the somewhat different people all in one big gathering.
09x02 - My Bald Dad, My Light-Haired Dad, and My Dad's Glasses
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Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.
Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.