Oki: Show yourself.
Oki: There's no point in hiding.
Oki: Mine's howling, too.
Oki: Senbe the Manslayer.
Gintama,OP Card: Gintama
Slip Arc,OP Card: Slip Arc
Title: The Super Sadist and the Super Sadist
Smithy,Sign: Smithy
Warning,Warning: Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!
Tet: There. All done.
Kag: You finished reforging?
Shin: The reborn Kusanagi-san is finally complete?
Tet: Yeah. I'm glad I somehow finished in time for the battle tomorrow.
Tet: As a smith, I've done everything I can.
Tet: Now, depending on his wielder, he can become an incredible sword or a blunt one.
Tet: Gin-san,
Tet: the rest is up to you.
Kus: Uh, ya haven't finished at all!
Kus: Talk about hasty patchwork!
Kus: What was all that clangin' I heard earlier? This ain't the work of a smith!
Kus: It's a DIY disaster!
Gin: Great job, Tetsuko.
Gin: He was so blunt before, but now his retorts are razor sharp.
Kus: Yer impressed with that? Why make me so tiny?!
Kus: I can't even fit in Scabberina like this, let alone win the duel!
Kus: It'd be so loose! She'd think I'm impotent!
Gin: Quit nitpicking.
Gin: Even if you hadn't broken here, you were already broken inside.
Gin: Besides, your wife was always a loose s*ut anyway. You're a perfect fit.
Kus: Who're ya callin' a s*ut?!
Tet: S-Sorry. I did what I could, but...
Gin: Don't worry, Tetsuko.
Gin: You already granted my wish to get this guy outta my ass.
Gin: An impotent sword like this would lose even before getting to the love hotel,
Gin: so we've gotta boycott the duel...
Kus: Not on my watch.
Gin: D-Damn you...
Gin: You can remotely control your broken bits?!
Kus: Ya just wanted ta get me outta ya, eh?
Kus: That ain't gonna fly.
Kus: Take responsibility for turnin' me inta this and win that duel tomorrow!
Gin: Screw you!
Gin: How am I supposed to fight with an impotent sword like you?
Kus: Shaddup!
Kus: Length doesn't make a man! Speed does!
Gin: You finish quick, too? Damn, there's nothing good about you!
Kag: Don't worry, Gin-chan. It's not length or speed that makes a man.
Kag: It's how many rounds he can fight!
Kag: To boost your regenerative ability,
Kag: stick your sword in b*rned sand and iced water alternatively in this special drill!
Shin: What sword are you drilling?!
Shin: What now, Tetsuko-san?
Tet: It'll be hard for him to be a longsword again.
Tet: Even if I want to reforge him as a short one, I don't know if his body can take it.
Tet: Part of the reason he broke was that his blade had grown weak with age.
Tet: But it seems an old wound played a part, too.
Shin: An old wound?
Tet: Kusanagi...
Tet: That's why you've become so blunt, right?
Kus: I really can't hide anythin' from ya, eh, Tetsuko-han?
Kus: The truth is...
Kus: I already fought ta take Scabberina back once a long time ago.
Gin: What's with that woman?
Gin: She'd gotten it on with some other sword in the past, too? Shameless hussy, much?
Kus: Take that back!
Kus: That ain't it. That ain't it at all.
Kus: Scabberina wasn't originally my scabbard. She was his.
Kus: In other words, she and I are... uh...
Shin: You were the one who stole her originally?!
Kus: Anyone'd assume that. Maybe this is all karma.
Kus: But back then, I just couldn't leave her alone.
: Her husband was a masterpiece known ta all on Planet Excalibur:
: the cursed sword, Maganagi.
: A mad sword whose name made others run with their blades between their legs.
: He wasn't feared 'cause of his sharpness alone, but also for his savagery.
: We excaliburlings do our work by being used as bloodsucking biological weapons.
: But Maganagi is worse.
: His staple food is swords, meaning...
: He's a cannibal.
: He maintained his absurd sharpness by suckin' the energy of his own.
: All the scabbards chosen ta house him met with tragic ends.
: Each and every day, they had their energy sucked out and were left ta rot.
: And once they ran out, they were dumped.
: Ta him, Scabberina may have just been his latest of hundreds of scabbards,
: but ta me, she was an irreplaceable, dear childhood friend.
: I just couldn't sit there and watch her cry,
: even if it meant goin' up against the cursed sword Maganagi.
Tet: Oh, is that when you got that wound?
Kus: I couldn't b*at him, of course,
Kus: but I barely managed ta survive and take Scabberina back.
Kus: We came ta Earth ta get away from him, too.
Kus: I never thought things would end up this way.
Kus: What's worse, even Maganagi's...
Gin: Maganagi's what? What're you talking about?
Kus: Ya guys saw him, too...
Kus: That ominous form of his.
Oki: Never expected you to have one of those, too.
Sen: You took the words right out of my mouth.
Sen: I'm in luck today.
Sen: After I spent years and years looking for those two,
Sen: I found them both in one day.
Sen: I was planning to devour him first,
Sen: but whatever.
Sen: If I grab what you've got there, he'll come to me himself.
Oki: Not sure what you're talking about, but it seems my Scarlett is pretty popular.
Oki: And I was having trouble sleeping because my blood's been itching for action.
Oki: You won't exactly make for a great warm-up before the boss,
Oki: but I hope you'll at least be a light appetizer, Senbe-san.
Sen: Senbe? Who the heck is that?
Gin: Wait, was it the sword that guy was carrying this afternoon?
Kus: No doubt about it.
Kus: I'm sure he noticed me, too.
Kus: It's only a matter of time before he also locates Scabberina.
Kus: This is no time ta be worryin' about old wounds.
Gin: He may be a terrifying sword or whatever,
Gin: but whether he's harmful is up to his wielder, no?
Kus: Normally, yeah.
Kus: But not with him.
Kus: Unlike me, he doesn't stick himself inta filthy asses and get cozy with his wielder.
Mag: Don't misunderstand.
Mag: I'm not Senbe or whatever.
Mag: My name is...
Mag: Maganagi.
Mag: Cursed Sword Maganagi!
Kus: His wielder's body is nothin' but a tool to him.
Kus: He wields himself.
Kus: Maganagi's blade doesn't pierce any filthy asses.
Kus: It pierces people's very souls and makes them his own!
Mag: Huh?
Oki: Sorry, Senbe-san.
Oki: I forgot Rakugo Masters was airing today. I'll just go home.
Mag: What?!
Oki: Jeez, why do all rakugo programs air late nights or early mornings?
Mag: Wait a second. We dragged this out from last week, so what's this?
Mag: I acted all cool, and this is how it ends?
Mag: And what's with that guy?
Mag: He took me, Maganagi, out with just one swing!
Mag: W-Wait, Okita Sogo.
Mag: Hey, forget about rakugo for now!
Mag: If you want Rakugo Masters, I've got it on DVD!
Mag: Listen to me for a second!
Mag: Hey, wait!
World_Clash_Tour,Sign: World Clash Tournament Venue
Kon: Odd Jobs sure is late.
World_Clash_Tour,Sign: World Clash Tournament Venue
Kon: Please don't tell me he got cold feet.
Ymz: You know that's never happening with the boss.
Ymz: Probably hasn't gotten that sword out of his ass yet.
Kon: Oh, I don't see Sogo or Toshi, either.
Kon: What's going on here? Are we the only ones up for this?
Ymz: Captain Okita has been gone since yesterday.
Ymz: Vice Chief heard this morning that Senbe the Manslayer was passed out on the street,
Ymz: so he went to check that out.
Kon: Senbe was what?
Ymz: Arresting him was well and good, but he's been acting strange.
G: Oh, he's here!
Kon: There you are. Looks like your bum sword is usable now.
Gin: My bum sword?
Gin: Oh, you mean this Alienslayer?
Kon: Lies!
Gin: Huh? What do you mean?
Kon: Don't give me that! There's no way that massive thing was stuck in your ass!
Gin: Quit harping. The part that was inside was actually this big.
Kon: You're the one harping! This duel will decide which sword deserves the scabbard!
Kon: You made the rules!
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: It was far too large to be calleda sword stuck in my ass.
Gin: It was far too large to be called a sword stuck in my ass.
Gin: It was a far too large, thick, heavy,
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: It was a far too large, thick, heavy, and much too crude a lie.
Gin: and much too crude a lie.
Kon: Don't use Berserk's narration to announce your regrets!
Gin: You're such a nag.
Gin: I have the one that was stuck in my ass right here as a short sword.
Gin: Samurai always carried two swords, anyway.
Gin: Let me at least act like a samurai during a real-sword fight.
Kon: Spouting BS like that is completely unlike a samurai!
Tet: Gin-san...
Tet: That's really not going to work.
Kag: This is much better.
Kon: That's not the issue here!
Kon: All you did was switch from Berserk to FF!
Gin: Not interested.
Gin: It was far too advanced to be called FF anymore.
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: It was far too advanced to be called FF anymore.
Gin: I liked the fantasies like and better.
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: I liked the fantasies like and better.
Kon: What're you even on about?!
Oki: Now, now. Let him do as he pleases.
: Sogo!
Oki: If we're gonna fight to the death,
Oki: going all-out with our weapons of choice would be more fun.
Oki: Right, boss?
Gin: Lucky! We made it through somehow.
Kus: This could work! This might just work!
Oki: Besides...
Oki: I found myself a new w*apon too, actually.
Oki: Right, Senbe-san?
Mag: L-Look, I'm not Senbe.
Mag: I'm telling you I'm Cursed Sword Maganagi, sir.
Edo_Hospital,Sign: Edo Hospital
Hij: Senbe.
Hij: Hey, Senbe.
G: He's been like this ever since he regained consciousness.
G: Could it be his wound?
Hij: It didn't reach his brain.
Hij: Somebody spotted a Shinsengumi member fighting him last night.
Hij: One thrust was apparently all it took.
Hij: He defeated Senbe the Manslayer with one strike.
Hij: And he barely kept him alive by the skin of his teeth.
Hij: It could only have been one guy.
G: Captain Okita?
G: So that total sadist terrorized him into this state.
Hij: Nah. The way I see it, this guy wasn't broken anytime recently.
G: Are you saying he went around slaying people in this state?
Hij: Probably not.
Hij: That means this guy wasn't Senbe the Manslayer.
G: But Vice Chief, he's definitely...
Hij: Oh, he's Senbe, all right.
Hij: But he probably wasn't the one slaying people.
Hij: Where's his w*apon?
Hij: The sword he was carrying.
G: Oh, we actually haven't found it yet.
G: Senbe? What's wrong?!
Sen: N-No! I don't want to be consumed anymore!
G: Calm down, Senbe!
Sen: It's that guy's turn to be consumed now.
Sen: He'll become the manslayer now!
G: Vice Chief?!
Hij: My bad feeling was on the mark.
Hij: Anybody else would laugh it off,
Hij: but I know how terrifying swords can be.
Hij: Because I experienced the curse of the Muramasha.
Hij: That man wasn't Senbe the Manslayer.
Hij: It was his sword!
Hij: This is bad news.
Hij: That thing is likely in the hands of someone far more terrifying than Senbe!
Hij: If he got his hands on that cursed sword,
Hij: then forget manslayer, he'd become a world-conquering overlord!
Shin: I-Is that...
Shin: Could that sword be...
Shin: Maganagi!
Shin: It's Cursed Sword Maganagi!
Kus: Why? Why does that bro have Maganagi?!
Oki: I happened to acquire it last night.
Oki: It insisted on becoming my sword of choice.
Oki: Having only my scabbard be from Excalibur didn't sit right with me, anyway.
Oki: Three excaliburlings on Earth. In Edo alone, no less.
Oki: This must be fate at work.
Mag: Indeed.
Mag: Who would've thought I'd find the two I was looking for right here?
Mag: Don't you agree, Kusanagi?
Mag: I hear this is a duel over a scabbard?
Mag: This is fate, Kusanagi.
Mag: The moment you tricked me, your fates were sealed!
Mag: Die and return to the earth.
Oki: Hey, lady, your dog pooped.
Oki: Don't you know an owner is supposed to clean up after their pet?
W: Oh, I'm so sorry!
Mag: What are you doing?!
Mag: Do you really think you can s*ab crap like this with a cursed sword?!
Oki: Quit complaining.
Oki: I don't mind making this your scabbard, you know.
Oki: You can be an excaliturd.
Oki: This duel isn't between you swords.
Oki: It's between the boss and me to decide who is stronger.
Mag: Y-You don't have to be so cruel.
Mag: Didn't we promise to do our best together, Master?
Mag: A sword like me and a wielder like you would be invincible together.
Mag: We could conquer the world...
Oki: Boss, what say we clean this place up before we duel?
Mag: There's dog poop everywhere.
Mag: I'm sorry, Master! I'll keep my mouth shut, so please spare me!
Kus: I-I don't believe it.
Kus: That cursed sword is totally under his control.
Kus: Just how scary a guy is that bro?
Gin: Looks like the one sword we really wanted to avoid
Gin: showed up in the hands of the one guy who shouldn't wield it.
Kus: This is awful!
World_Clash_Tour: ,World Clash Tournament Venue
Kus: I was hopin' I could figure something out before fightin' him...
Kus: If we lose this duel, both Scabberina and I are done for!
Gin: This is fine, really.
Gin: In real-sword fights, the one who clings to hope loses.
Gin: Hope isn't something you'll find lying ahead in your path.
Gin: You'll find it hanging from the ass of the guys who live in the moment.
Gin: It's basically a goldfish turd.
Gin: Right now, having a blade stuck in my ass would be perfect.
Oki: What, that thing was all for show? That's just your usual wooden sword.
Oki: Well, whatever. If that's how you wanna play,
Oki: I'll stop thinking about a future where I sheathe my sword.
Oki: Until that goldfish turd of yours hangs from the tip of my sword,
Oki: it will remain drawn!
Kon: But it already is! You'll cause a mess if you sheathe it!
Gin: Bring it on. Let's see whose turd will hang first.
Kus: Why're you swingin' turds around, too?!
Bo: Let's fight fair and square!
Shin: What the hell are you two doing?!
Shin: They started picking up poop!
Kus: W-Wait...
Shin: What's going on here? What are they competing over?
Shin: Is this how this duel was supposed to go?
Mag: Wait, stop! I can't breathe!
Shin: Your swords are the only ones suffering!
Shin: What's wrong with you sadists?!
Bo: Eat this!
Shin: Eat this, my ass! What are you, cavemen?!
Shin: They're using amazing moves!
Shin: They're both going insane!
Shin: But why poop?!
Oki: In the poop's shadow?
Oki: But this is also...
Oki: a feint!
Gin: Not there.
Gin: Over here.
Oki: Not there.
Oki: Over here.
Gin: Not here. There.
Oki: Not there. There.
Gin: Not there. Manure.
Shin: Why are you having a high-level back and forth with poop?!
Shin: And just how much poop is on this riverbank, anyway?
Kag: Gin-chan!
Kag: Just wait! I'll provide covering fire for you!
Shin: That's not covering! That's just dumping!
Oki: You really are fun, boss.
Oki: Your technique's all over the place.
Oki: There's no way to tell where you'll att*ck from.
Shin: Hey! The camera's focusing on the wrong thing!
Gin: You won't look so relaxed for too long.
Gin: I can't wait to see what your face will look like in the next cut.
Shin: It looks like something ridiculous already!
Shin: Totally looks like two turds having a conversation!
Kon: Th-This is an outrageous duel.
Kon: I never expected it to get so heated.
Shin: You're more outrageous right now!
Kag: You've got poop on your head, Gorilla!
Kag: Barrier! Barrier!
Kon: I had my barrier up, too!
Shin: You're all covered in sh*t!
Shin: Knock it off already.
Shin: The screen's been filled with nothing but poop!
Shin: Wait, who put my glasses on poop?!
Kus: Insane.
Kus: Gintoki-han is insane.
Kus: He's fightin' that cursed sword Maganagi on equal footin'.
Mag: I was right.
Mag: This guy is on a whole different level than Senbe.
Mag: At last...
Mag: At last, I found it.
Mag: A vessel befitting me, Maganagi.
Mag: Kusanagi.
Mag: The man you found is a special talent himself.
Mag: However!
Mag: Even if the vessels are equal,
Mag: their swords are like night and day!
Kon: H—
Kon: His sword vanished?!
Oki: Nothing vanished.
Oki: They're right here in my belly.
Oki: Both your sword
Oki: and this man.
Preview brick,Sign: Preview
Kus: This is awful! Maganagi took over that bro!
Kus: I-It's all over!
Gin: Don't give up, Kusanagi!
Kus: But Kudo—I mean, Gintoki-han!
Gin: You still have my blood and my scabbard, foo'.
Sign: The Strongest Sword, and the Dullest Ass
TextR: We're really sorry if you were watching while having dinner.
TextL: The Gintoki vs. Okita & Swordsstory ends next week!
TextR: The next C*nan Hint is...
TextL: "Subtly Off-Color."
09x07 - The Super Sadist and the Super Sadist
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Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.
Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.