Gintama,OP Card: Gintama
Slip Arc,OP Card: Slip Arc
Title: Diamonds are Unscratchable
Warning: GKB's Request!! Watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV ♥
S: We would never let you leave looking so sad.
S: Why? Because...
S: We provide dreams to all of space
S: as the special unit of galactic idols.
S: That is why.
G: That's...
Shin: Galaxy Kingdom b*tches ?!
Shin: Why are they on Earth?
Bi: Guys, come to our meet-and-greet and wipe this bitter taste out of your mouths.
Bi: Otherwise your Bitchie will be so lonely, she'll cry.
G: I-I can't believe I get to meet the universe's top idols!
G: Is this some dream or fantasy?!
G: I'm going first!
G: No, I am!
Gin: Wait, what? Giant Knobhead b*tches ?
Shin: No way... They're here in Edo?
Shin: They are Galaxy Kingdom b*tches .
Shin: On several planets, top idol groups faced off in a public vote,
Shin: and only the centers whose groups placed at the top—
Shin: in other words, only the top of the top idols from across the galaxy—
Shin: formed this top idol group!
Gin: How many times are you gonna say "top"?
Shin: They're the biggest idols in the galaxy!
Shin: They traverse planets, nabbing the top idol spot on each one,
Shin: then move on to their next target.
Shin: If that special unit of idols is here in Edo and showed up in front of Otsu-chan,
Shin: that must mean their next target is...
Bi: Terakado Tsu.
Bi: We got a good look at how Edo's top idol does sales.
Bi: I'm amazed you sit at the top of the pile like that.
Bi: It seems Edo has the weakest idols of all the planets we've been to.
Bi: Let us show you how real idols
Bi: do meet-and-greets.
Shin: A-Are those...
Bi: Line up and come in one by one, guys.
Bi: We want to spend quality time with each of you.
Shin: Why have closed spaces if they're only gonna shake hands?
Taka: Challenge accepted. I'll go first.
Shin: Taka-chin?
Taka: You ran your mouth at Otsu-chan.
Taka: If this meet-and-greet ain't up to scratch, you'll be in real trouble.
Shin: Taka-chin!
Taka: Sorry, Shin-chan.
Taka: I honestly don't understand what you're trying to do with Otsu-chan right now.
Taka: But I believe that you'll protect her to the end.
Taka: I believe that she would never lose to these hussies!
Shin: Taka-chin!
Taka: Huh? Seriously?
Taka: Is this how it works?
Gin: Uh, why is it shaking?
Shin: Taka-chin!
Gin: Huh? Was he in his undies just now?
Shin: Taka-chin!
Gin: I hear weird noises. What is that? What's going on?
Shin: Taka-chin!
Gin: He was totally butt-naked! What're they doing?
Gin: Are they really shaking hands?
Shin: Taka-chin!
Gin: Uh, hold up. What is this?
Gin: They're not shaking hands at all. They're doing something totally different.
Shin: Taka-chin!
Gin: What is that? Something just came out.
Gin: What's going on in there? What're you guys doing?
Shin: Taka-chin!
Gin: Now his whole body's covered in pixels! What happened to him?
Gin: Taka-chin!
Shin: Taka-chin!
Gin: Taka-chin?
Shin: Taka-chin!
Gin: Taka-chin?
Shin: Taka-chin!
Gin: Taka-chin?!
Shin: Taka-chin!
Shin: Taka-chin!
Shin: Pull yourself together, Taka-chin!
Shin: What happened, Taka-chin?!
Taka: Once I get home, I'm gonna burn all my p*rn mags.
Shin: What'd they do to you?!
Gin: What'd they do to him? They clearly just did him!
Gin: They totally got down and dirty.
Gin: He looks like he released everything he had pent up. He's basking in the afterglow.
Shin: Taka-chin, tell me what happened inside.
Taka: Everything turned white.
Gin: Crap! Now he's turned completely white!
G: Once I get home, I'll try being nicer to Mom.
G: I'll try to find something good about Kamiji Yusuke.
Shin: Hey! People are getting enlightened in the afterglow one after another!
Gin: Wait, are you kidding me?
Gin: Seriously? Is this for real?
Gin: What, do they shake something other than hands on their planets?
Gin: Are you kidding me? Seriously? Is this for real?
Shin: Calm down, Gin-san!
Bi: Our meet-and-greet made everyone weak in the knees.
Bi: Terakado Tsu, we've rendered all your fans completely spineless.
Bi: They're wrapped around our fingers.
Bi: This is what real idols are capable of.
Bi: What the greatest galactic idol group is capable of.
Bi: What Galaxy Kingdom b*tches is capable of.
Gin: Uh, idols? You're practically just pr*******es!
Bi: What? How mean!
Bi: You know nothing about me!
Bi: You know nothing about what we were doing inside!
Bi: If you suspect us that much, why don't you try it yourself...
Bi: Our meet-and-greet.
Gin: I'll take the special course, please.
Bi: Meet-and-greet.
Gin: I can start a tab with you, right?
Shin: Like hell!
Tsu: No... My fans, who've been behind me all this time...
Crowd: All hail Galaxy Kingdom b*tches !
Tsu: The ones who've supported me all this time...
Tsu: In one moment, they all just...
Tsu: No...
Tsu: This can't be.
Tsu: This can't be happening!
Shin: Otsu-chan!
Gin: H-Hey! How long are you gonna sleep, you dumbass?!
Shin: Wait, Otsu-chan!
Gin: We still have a bunch of pillow sales events lined up after this!
Gin: Hey!
Bi: She went down far easier than expected.
Crowd: All hail Galaxy Kingdom b*tches !
Bi: But this isn't enough.
Bi: Getting these core idol fans on our side doesn't mean a thing.
Bi: All of Edo must watch as Terakado Tsu and Booger Diamonds fall to pieces.
Bi: They need to know that we, Galaxy Kingdom b*tches , are the greatest idols alive.
Bi: Showtime is only just beginning.
Shin: I see.
Shin: Otsu-chan's still holed up?
OMom: She seems to be taking it really hard.
Shin: Sorry. It's all our fault for being so useless.
OMom: Oh, no. I made her form a unit to put her under this exact kind of pressure.
OMom: But I can't believe they came gunning for Otsu at the same time.
OMom: She's hit rock bottom, and she may not climb back up.
Shin: Otsu-chan will definitely bounce back!
Shin: She'd never lose to those people!
Gin: Yeah. Right now, we don't stand to make any mon—
Gin: I mean, make a decent impression, so give us a chance to turn this around.
Kag: Otsu's not alone.
Kag: If she's hit rock bottom, there's still something I,
Kag: along with Booger Diamonds ,can do to help her.
Kag: I want her to remember that.
OMom: There's nothing any of you can do.
OMom: I mean...
Terakado_Tsu_Cri,SignL: Terakado Tsu CriesOutside a Love Hotel!!
Producer_Carries,SignR: Producer Carries BDZ Member Home!
OMom: You're all down there with her.
R: There they are!
R: It's Booger Diamonds 's producer, Mr. Sakata!
R: What was Otsu-chan doing in front of a love hotel?
R: Is it true that you're using your position as producer
R: to screw around with your agency's idols?
Shin: You've got the wrong idea!
Shin: I was the one who was with Otsu-chan! I'm her manager!
Shin: We were just talking about work—
R: So the producer and manager are both screwing around with their agency's idols?
Shin: Did you listen to a word I said?!
R: Well?
Gin: You know they're gonna twist your words, Shinpachi.
Gin: Just get through it by saying "Whatever. I don't care."
Shin: They'll twist that even worse!
Gin: We've done nothing wrong. No need to run or hide.
Kag: That's right.
Kag: Besides, Gin-chan and I have gone long past "taking home." We live together.
R: What do you mean, you live together?
Kag: He keeps me at home without pay
Kag: and makes me do all kinds of stuff from morning to night until I can't stand.
Kag: Nothing wrong with that.
Shin: Everything about that sounds wrong!
R: Sakata-san, are you a lolicon p**o?
Gin: I'm not a p**o! The P stands for producer!
Gin: I'm not a lolicon, either!
R: So you're a p**o P?
Gin: Knock it off already, you rotten cue ball!
R: Did you hear that verbal abuse?
Tsu: I no longer have any fans cheering me on.
TV: Showbiz really is seedy, huh?
TV: Well, everyone in the entertainment business is like this.
Tsu: I don't have anyone on my side.
TV: Should've seen it coming.
tabloid,Shin: Otsu and Her Manager
tabloid,Shin: Super Edo Scoop
Shin: Otsu-chan's in big trouble, and it's all our fault!
Gin: Tch.
Gin: Who woulda thought this would happen right before the release of the debut single?
OMom: We've been had.
OMom: The background on this photograph has been shopped.
OMom: In other words, you were used in a plot to bring Otsu down...
OMom: by Galaxy Kingdom b*tches .
Shin: Th-They were behind this?
OMom: They're a special squad that has destroyed top idols on all kinds of planets.
OMom: They're not picky about their methods.
Shin: They'll pay for this.
Shin: Let's expose their tactics and condemn them!
OMom: They have tremendous influence with media across the galaxy.
OMom: It'll never see the light of day.
Gin: At this point, our only choice is to upload a shaved-head apology video.
Shin: Even if you hate me, the manager,
Shin: please don't come to hate Booger Diamonds !
Shin: What part do you think you're shaving off?!
Kag: Or we'll have to put fries and Shinpachi side-by-side
Kag: and upload a video about which one will rot sooner.
Shin: Your brains are what's rotten!
OMom: Too late for that too, apparently. They got the jump on us.
Bi: Greetings, earthlings!
Bi: We are the special unit of galactic idols,
Bi: Galaxy Kingdom b*tches !
Bi: As it turns out, we're going to make our debut on Earth!
All: Yay!
Bi: Our new single, "A Slut's Badge of Honor," releases December th.
Shin: December th? The same release date as Booger Diamonds 's debut single?
Gin: They're even going with a similar title.
Bi: With that in mind, we plan to hold a release event at Oedo Dome.
Bi: But since that alone wouldn't be exciting enough,
Bi: we've got some big guests lined up.
Bi: Surprise!
Bi: We want to invite Edo's top idol, Terakado Tsu-chan, to this event!
Shin: Wha?!
Bi: We don't have an appointment yet, but...
Bi: Terakado Tsu-san, why don't we face off to determine Edo's top idol?
Bi: Us, Galaxy Kingdom b*tches ,
Bi: versus Terakado Tsu's Booger Diamonds ?
Bi: Let's compete to see which of us can charm more fans in a meet-and-greet.
Bi: The winner gets to perform their new single live.
Bi: But the loser has to retire from the idol industry right then and there.
Bi: It's a battle to determine the top idol. There has to be some risk involved.
Bi: Let's settle this, Terakado Tsu-san.
Bi: You were once the top idol in all of Edo.
Bi: We trust you won't run away from this challenge.
Sign: Up NextThe Making of Galaxy Kingdom b*tches 's "A Slut's Badge of Honor"
Cancel,Sign: Cancel
Shin: Th-That was...
OMom: Well played.
OMom: Now that they've released this video to the public,
OMom: our reputation will be ruined if we refuse.
Gin: For someone so cute, she sure can play dirty.
Gin: Kingdom b*tches is a fitting name, I say.
OMom: The words "idol" and "bitch" are practically synonyms.
OMom: They're several times better at this than Otsu.
Shin: That's a hell of a thing for the president of an idol agency to say.
OMom: But we can't put her idol career on the line, even if it makes us lose face.
OMom: And having lost all her fans, Otsu stands no chance—
Shin: Not all of them.
Shin: She still has three fans right here.
Kag: Relax. I won't cause any trouble.
Kag: An idol digs out her boogers with her own hands.
Gin: And besides, we Booger Diamonds
Gin: are fully prepared to be the boogers that make Otsu-chan's diamond shine bright.
OMom: You guys...
Shin: Until now, Otsu-chan has given us hopes and dreams as an idol.
Shin: Now, it's our turn as fans to return the favor by giving her hopes and dreams.
Edo_Dome,Sign: Oedo Dome
Bi: Hello, everyone!
Bi: Thanks for coming to see us today!
Bi: We are the idols of the entire universe...
Bi: Galaxy Kingdom b*tches !
Bi: And here is the group that accepted our challenge...
Kag: Heya. We are Booger Diamonds .
Bi: Yeah, right!
Bi: Where's Otsu? You're just three piles of boogers now!
Bi: What kinda nostrils did you pop out of?!
Gin: We took responsibility for causing a scandal by shaving our heads down there.
Gin: We are the newest members...
Shin: Pachie!
Gin: Pako!
Bi: You call that taking responsibility?!
Bi: You've gotta be kidding me.
Bi: We're here for Terakado Tsu! We don't give two hoots about you morons!
Kag: Right back at ya. Otsu says she has no time to waste on knobhead b*tches.
Kag: But we decided to drop by while chasing our boogers too far in.
Kag: You should be grateful to us.
Bi: Say what, you booger brat?
Com: Oh, my! Sparks are already flying on the stage!
Com: Booger Diamonds and Galaxy Kingdom b*tches ...
Com: Will their meet-and-greet with the fans turn into a World Martial Arts Tournament?
Tae: Fine by us.
Tae: We don't care if you're a special unit of galactic idols or whatever.
Tae: But if you want to settle things with force, then we'll gladly play along.
Tae: Just know that you won't stand a chance in hell of winning.
Tae: Not when you're against the strongest combat backing band in the galaxy,
Tae: Diamond Vacuum.
Shin: Sis!
Gin: So they made it.
Com: Whoa! Booger Diamonds had a real ace up their sleeve!
Com: A group of hotties comparable to Otsu-chan has taken the stage!
Kyu: We're saying we'll battle you in your arena and on your terms.
Kyu: Get back, before we render your pretty faces useless.
Sac: How dare you frame our producer?
Sac: The one sleeping with Producer Sakata is me!
Gin: What are you even here for?
Tsu: I don't know how things ended up like this, but this too is fate.
Tsu: No matter in what arena, I refuse to lose any battles I take part in.
Tsu: I'll show you the fruits of my training.
Gin: What the hell did you guys train for?!
Gin: Don't just do whatever the hell you please!
Bi: I see.
Bi: Otsu ran from us, so you tried to make up for that
Bi: by hastily gathering trash that's nothing but looks?
Bi: Man, I've never felt this insulted before.
Bi: Fine. If that's how you want to play, we'll k*ll your careers
Bi: and crush you so thoroughly that Otsu will never think about taking the stage again.
Bi: Let's determine the greatest idols in the universe right here and now.
Com: Fight fair and square!
Com: The battle to determine the greatest idols alive is now underway.
Com: This battle between Galaxy Kingdom b*tches and Booger Diamonds
Com: will be decided by how many fans flock to their respective meet-and-greets.
All: Pleased to meet you all!
Com: Whoa, as soon as the bell rings, a tidal wave of people comes rushing in.
Com: Incredible!
Com: Galaxy Kingdom b*tches !
Com: It's like they're gobbling up every fan in the arena! What overwhelming popularity!
Com: Meanwhile, Booger Diamonds 's base is tumbleweed central!
Com: They may have a bunch of hotties, but they're still newly debuted nobodies.
Com: Was it too soon for them to take on the galaxy's greatest idol group?
Bi: Otsu or no Otsu, the outcome was decided before it even started.
Bi: Didn't you realize that?
Bi: In truth, this was never a battle to determine the greatest idols alive.
Bi: It's just a public execution.
Gin: That so? Either way, you shouldn't get distracted during a battle.
Bi: Don't you get it? This can't even be called a battle.
Gin: You're the one who doesn't get it.
Gin: An idol's enemy isn't just in front of her.
Tae: Yikes, what's with that line?
Sac: It's an idol meet-and-greet, apparently.
Bo: Ew, gross.
Com: That's...
Com: A rear ambush by the backing band!
Tae: So what if they can shake hands with idols? Does that really make them happy?
Tae: Why are they so desperate?
Sac: You're so silly, Otae.
Sac: Look at them. They've probably never held a girl's hand in their lives.
Sac: Oh, sorry. They've probably never talked to one, either.
Com: The backing band unit's barrage of insults
Com: is making the fans lose all desire to attend the meet-and-greet!
G: Rude! I have at least talked to girls!
Tae: I bet it just went like, "Would you like that heated?" and "Sure."
G: There was more! Like, "I don't need a plastic bag."
Sac: You don't call that talking to a girl.
Bi: That's cheating! Do you really think you can mess with our line?
Gin: Keep talking. Plotting evil from behind the idol is what a backing band does.
Tae: Don't they know that lining up here won't resolve a thing?
Sac: They're basically lining up to climb the stairs to the gallows.
Com: Corpses everywhere!
Com: They're massacring the fans in Galaxy Kingdom b*tches 's line one after another!
Bi: Such futile resistance.
Bi: Your sabotaging is only making the fans distance themselves from you.
Bi: What?
Kyu: You went too far, Tae-chan, Sarutobi.
Bi: They had a Plan B with more backing band members at the back?
Tsu: Sorry. Are you all right?
Tsu: Can you stand?
Bi: Don't tell me, the first two backing band members were just a setup?
Tsu: Forgive them.
Tsu: They mean no harm. They're just a little shy.
Bi: By mercilessly b*ating down the fans and then picking them up...
Tsu: They wanted to talk to you all, but it seems they didn't know where to begin.
Tsu: After all, it's the same for us.
Kyu: W-We've never held a meet-and-greet...
Tsu: ...before today.
Tae: Sorry.
Sac: In truth, we're the same as you.
Tae: If you don't mind...
All: ...could you take our first time?
Bi: They brought out the tsundere act?!
C: Hey, why did my heart just skip a b*at?
C: The girls over there are pretty cute, too!
C: I think I'll head over there!
C: Me, too!
C: Me three!
Com: Whoa, Galaxy Kingdom b*tches 's line is falling apart!
Gin: You were right. Nobodies could never b*at the greatest idols in the universe.
Gin: But it looks like this battle
Gin: is neither to determine the greatest idols alive nor a public execution.
Gin: I hear it's just a battle to determine the biggest sluts alive.
Gin: You're the ones who started playing dirty.
Gin: We'll make you regret it!
Bi: Wh-What're those?
Gin: Even if we can't win as idols,
Gin: Booger Diamonds is invincible in a battle of the sluts.
Com: Those are... toilet stalls!
Com: Are they using toilet stalls, of all things, to compete with the bewitching curtains?
Bi: H-How vulgar.
Bi: A meet-and-greet in such a disgusting place would never make the fans happy.
G: Wh-What's with the toilets?
G: Don't tell me, we'll get to see them doing all sorts of dirty things?
G: No way, man.
G: But they're toilets.
Com: Oh, dear! The fans are beset by confusion!
Kag: Hey, Gin-chan! What's the meaning of this?
Tae: This is the first I'm hearing of a meet-and-greet in toilets, Shin-chan.
Shin: I-It's not what you think, Sis!
Com: The fans aren't the only ones confused!
Gin: You know... This is the first meet-and-greet for you guys, too.
Gin: You're probably feeling too shy to face the fans.
Gin: That's where these come in. Enter the stalls from beneath the toilets.
Gin: Just stick your hands out and wait.
Gin: That way, you can deal with any kind of embarrassment just fine.
Gin: All you have to do after that is shake everything.
Gin: You won't see a thing, but it's simple.
Gin: Just grab everything that's held out in front of you.
Gin: Consider your hand nothing but toilet paper.
Tae: What perverted acts are you trying to make us perform?!
G: You hear that?
G: I'm going over there!
Com: Wow! Even more people are leaving Galaxy Kingdom b*tches 's line!
Com: Producer Sakata is stealing even more fans with a terrifying slut plan!
Bi: You shitheads!
Gin: This is where things get real.
Gin: Let's do this. Show them what real sluts are capable of!
All: Who're you calling sluts?!
Gin: Ger-bleaurgh!
Sign: To Be Continued
Sign: Preview
Tsu: Everyone... Thank you so, so much for everything.
Tsu: Next time: "An Idol's Badge of Honor."
Title: An Idol's Badge of Honor
TextR: Shocked and hurt, Otsu holes up.
TextL: Will she end up retiring like this?
TextR: In this idol battle without honor and humanity,
TextL: who will stand victorious in the end?
09x10 - Diamonds are Unscratchable
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Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.
Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.