01x08 - And They Counted Happily Ever After

[bunniefuu]

* We're movin' we're beatin'
hacker at his game

* Don't tell me that he's trying
to hack the motherboard

* We'll get him every time

* Cosmic worlds, freaky places
that we've seen

* We got the power
of one two three four!

* Runnin' in a cyberchase
we'll meet him face to face

* We'll stick together,
all the time!

* Adventures in cyberspace

* The chase is on! Just wait
and c-y-b-e-r- chase!

[Hacker]
(evil laughter) take note,
my little duncebuckets,

Smalltime evil is as important
as bigtime evil.

Once again, evil plus evil,
equals:

[Buzz]
evil!

[Delete]
who is it?

[Female]
cyber scouts.

[Buzz]
my order of cyber scout candy!

Hey! Since when do cyber scouts
ride brooms?

[Wicked]
since I stole their candies

To decorate my gingerbread
house. (Cackling)

Just call me wicked.

And I've got something you're
gonna love to hate.

There it is, hacker. Happily
ever afterville.

...the land of fairy tales,
and the place I park my broom.

[Hacker]
home sweet home?

[Wicked]
are you kidding? All these
happy endings make me sick!

I hate it!

Here's the plan, handsome:
you kidnap the king,

I become queen, we turn
the place into

Miserably ever after.
Work for you?

[Hacker]
hm. I like the concept,
but what's in it for me?

[Wicked]
you know why they call
you the big e don't you?

[Hacker]
because I look like elvis?

[Wicked]
no, it's because you're
so...evil!

[Hacker]
the big e, huh?

Hey, flattery will get
you nowhere!

[Wicked]
but hack, if you can't save
me from all this happiness

I'll just have to find
a villain

Who's big enough...who's evil
enough who's...

[Hacker]
alright, alright! I can't bear
to see a witch wail.

I'll do it.

[Wicked]
thanks, big e.

[King]
! !

... !

[Jack]
ten more golden eggs, your
majesty.

[King]
love you, goosey. Now, where
was i? Oh yes...

... ... Whooa!

Chicken little was right -
the sky is falling!

Whoaoaoa...!

[Jack]
the king has been stolen!
The king has been stolen!

[Little pig]
what should we do?

[Little pig]
we need a king to tell us!

[Little pig]
who wants to be king?

[Spider]
I'll give it a try.

(Scream!!!)

[Spider]
just 'cause little miss muffet
gets scared

Doesn't mean everyone else
has to.

[Wicked]
hmm...

b*at it, fuzzy legs.

I am your new queen!
And if you don't like it,

I'll turn you all into
cockroaches!

[Fairy tale folk]
long live the queen!

[King]
excuse me.

If you return me to the castle,
I'll give you as many

Golden eggs as your evil heart
desires.

[Hacker]
did you say...golden eggs?

[King]
yep. Golden eggs-a-plenty.
Just pick a number.

[Hacker]
any number?

[King]
oh any number at all.

[Hacker]
ha ha ha!

[Wicked]
listen up little people.

Abracadabra, so long laughter,
from now on,

This joint's known as miserably
ever after. (Cackle)

[Fairy tale folk]
(stunned gasp!)

[Wicked]
all hail to the queen!

[Hacker]
not so fast, wicked!

There's been a change of plans.

Hacker?!

[Hacker]
give me golden - wait,

Make
that - no no no no...

Golden eggs.

Yeah, that's a nice number.

If I get them in the next
minutes...

Then the big e - that's me -
returns your king!

[Wicked]
but you were supposed to take
him to the edge of cyberspace

And toss him into the recycle
bin! Oooh!

[Fairy tale folk]
uhhh!!!

[Wicked]
oops.

[Jack]
seize her!

[Wicked]
not if I can help it!

Abracadabra,
I can't be defeated,

If your ability to count
is totally deleted!

[Spider]
huh?

[Jack]
take her to the tower!

[Wicked]
my magic wand!!!

[Wicked]
oh... Of all the towers in all
the castles in the kingdom,

They had to lock me in this
one. Oooh.

I can't believe all this hair!
Ew!

Who knew rapunzel was such
a slob!

What's this?

[Digit]
oh! Bada-bing, bada-boom!
Another perfect landing!

[Wicked]
yoohoo, down there! Tin-boy!

[Digit]
me?

[Wicked]
yeah, you. Can you do an old
wi- I mean, rapunzel a favor?

[Inez]
hey, didge! What's up?

[Digit]
'til you got here, I was
helping a damsel in distress.

[Wicked]
hel-loooooo.

[Matt]
that's no damsel in distress -
that's a witch in a hairball!

[Jackie]
maybe that's the wicked witch
mother b warned me about?

[Inez]
she said the witch was
attempting to transform

This place into miserably ever
after.

Looks like she's off to a good
start.

[Jack]
aaah!

[Matt]
what was that?

[Jackie]
let's check it out!

[Wicked]
hey! What about me?

[Jack]
come on, people!

Someone's gotta know how
to count!

[Fairy tale folk]
count? I don't know how
to count! What's count?

[Jackie]
excuse me, but maybe
we can help.

[Little pig]
the big e wants a whole lot
of golden eggs

Or we'll never see our king
again!

[Jackie]
who's the big e?

[Jack]
a friend of the wicked witch.
And he wants golden eggs...

[Little pig]
but we don't know how many
is!

[Little pig]
that's because the witch cast
a spell

So we can't count anymore.

[Little pig]
and we only have a buncha
minutes to figure it out!

[Matt]
and with no king...

...they're going to live...

[Townsfolk]
...miserably ever after!

[Jackie]
we can't let this happen.
It's not fair.

Nobody should have to live
miserably ever after. Nobody!

[Digit]
not even hacker?

[Jackie]
okay, maybe hacker. But nobody
else!

[Inez]
there's only one solution
to this dilemma.

We'll help you count!

[Fairy tale folk]
hurrah!!!

[Matt]
not so fast! How are we going
count eggs in -

What did the pig say? 'A bunch
of minutes.'

[Jackie]
what we need is a plan. Make
room, I gotta pace.

[Inez]
you pace - we'll start
counting.

[Matt]
one...two...three...four...

[Digit]
at this rate, we should
be done...

Uh... A week from tuesday!

[Jackie]
oof!

What's this?

[Jack]
I use 'em to carry golden eggs.

I have a whole stack over
there.

[Jackie]
perfect! We can use these
to group the eggs.

[Inez]
excellent, jax.
Matt, toss me some eggs.

- ...and ! Cool! Each box
holds a group of eggs.

[Jack]
so?

[Jackie]
don't you see? If we fill
the boxes with eggs -

We can count by ten instead
of one-by-one.

It'll be way faster.

[Matt]
okay, fairy tale people,

We've got some serious grouping
to do.

[Spider]
I'll help.

[Fairy tale folk]
(scream!)

[Spider]
they always do that. I just
want to be accepted -

Be a useful member of fairy
tale society!

[Jackie]
oh don't cry, spider. We're not
afraid of you.

[Spider]
I only got hit by a little bit
of the spell -

So I sorta remember how
to count.

[Jackie]
just fill this box and you'll
have eggs.

[Inez]
group and conquer!

[Matt]
is that another one of your
quotations?

[Inez]
nope. But it has a nice ring
to it, don't you think?

[Town crier]
hear ye, hear ye!

Remember how many sands of time
we had before?

Well, there's a lot less now!

[Jackie]
okay, we're making progress.

We've grouped all the eggs
in boxes that hold eggs -

And we've got eggs left over.

[Matt]
but, jax, the boxes are all
over the place.

How are we ever going
to get them counted in time?

[Jackie]
hey, I'm working on it, okay!?
Make room, I gotta pace!

[Digit]
pacing going on!

[Inez]
make room!

[Matt]
let's stack these up.

[Jackie]
a plan...we need another plan.

That's it!

If we stack up boxes like
this -

We have a group of eggs!

[Inez]
because ten 's equals !

[Matt]
which means fewer groups
to count

So we can count faster! Start
stacking!

[Jackie]
okay, everybody listen up.

[Fairy tale folk]
listening up!

[Jackie]
now, we grouped all the eggs
in stacks of -

Boxes of and singles.
It's time to organize them

By grouping boxes with boxes
and stacks with stacks.

[Inez]
(struggling) I forgot,
gold is really heavy.

[Jack]
can I help?

[Inez]
heh. Oh, like you're stronger?

[Jack]
didn't say I was, but I know
who is.

[Giant]
fe-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood
of an englishman!

[Digit]
save it for the book, big guy,
we need a hand.

Now that's a hand!

Whoa!

[Jackie]
okay, mr. Giant, we've got
single eggs in this place.

Now, we need you to move
the boxes of eggs

Into this place here.
And the stacks of eggs

Into this place.

[Hacker]
there's only room for one king
in cyberspace. Me.

Too bad you didn't look
the part.

[King]
that is the classic henry viii
look.

[Buzz]
too puffy, boss

[Delete]
yeah, way too puffy!

[Hacker]
less puffy!

[King]
king tut?

[Hacker]
too dead.

[King]
king kong?

[Hacker]
uh... Too hairy.

[Fairy tale folk]
count 'em! Count 'em count 'em!

[Inez]
okay spider, count 'em!

[Spider]
i...gee, I hope I can do it.

[Jackie]
I know you can, spider.

All you have to do is believe
in yourself. Okay?

Just tell us how many groups
of eggs are in each place.

[Spider]
alright, I'll give it a sh*t.

[Inez]
okay, spider, how many single
eggs in the one's place?

[Spider]
um... ...uh...let me
think...uh, I know this... ?

[Inez]
right!

[Spider]
it's coming back to me now!
Okay. Okay. ... ... - -...

[Jackie]
way to go, spider. Keep
counting!

[Spider]
... - ... ! I did it! Ha ha ha!

[Fairy tale folk]
yeah!

[Matt]
how many boxes in the tens
place?

[Spider]
okay okay, - - - - - ...look
at me! ! Ha ha ha!

Wait wait! That's just . There
are more eggs here than that -

Aren't there?

[Jackie]
yes, but remember what this
number stands for:

Boxes with eggs in each
of them.

That's seven s, or !

[Matt]
ladies and gents...the tens
place!

[Fairy tale folk]
ooooh!

[Jackie]
how many stacks in this place?

[Spider]
- - - - - ... ! Ha ha!

[ St little pig]
but that's just !

[ Nd little pig]
weren't you paying attention?
That stands for stacks -

And there are eggs in each
stack!

[ Rd little pig]
or eggs! Hey! (Chuckling)
I'm learning to count again!

[Spider]
then that must be the s
place! Ha ha!

[Jackie]
so our count is: - - . That's
seven hundred seventy-nine!

[Spider]
but... But big e said , not
!

[Matt]
no problem. I'll just take away
these two eggs.

[Jackie]
and the new total is...?

[Spider]
- - . Seven hundred seventy
seven! And that's -

[Hacker]
achem. A king's ransom...

...for the new king!

The big e-e!

[All]
hacker!

[Hacker]
that's evil elvis, to you!
And evil elvis says it's time

To buy a new pair of blue suede
shoes!

[Hacker]
thank-you, thank-you very much!

[Spider]
you got your gold, now give
us our king!

(Gasp!) Ah!

[Spider]
gee, what do you know? The big
e-e is afraid of spiders!

(Laughs) he's afraid of me!!!

[Hacker]
alright shaggy boots, that's
going to cost you!

The king's ransom just went
up to um... , Golden eggs!

[Spider]
(gasp!)

[Fairy tale folk]
(gasps!)

[Matt]
but we've only got two eggs
left.

Where are we going to get more?

[Hacker]
that's your problem!

I want the rest of those eggs
by sundown -

Or you'll never see your king
again! (Evil laughter)

[Town crier]
so much for the sands of time!

[Town crier]
hear ye, hear ye!

The sun is about to set,
on the rest of our lives! Ohh!

[Jackie]
so, goose, how many eggs
can you lay by sunset?

[Golden goose]
hey, I'm a goose with a gift -
not fort knox. Come on!

[Spider]
wait a minute!

Over the years, goose has given
us all golden eggs as presents,

Remember?

[Jack]
spider's right!

Everyone go get your eggs
and bring them here. Hurry!

[Fairy tale folk]
eggs to save the king eggs
to save the king!

[Wicked]
what's the rush, porkchop?

[ Rd little pig]
hacker just raised the king's
ransom by a lot of eggs!

[Wicked]
hmmm, he betrays me, he betrays
them. This guy's got potential.

[Inez]
you think we'll have enough?

[Matt]
I don't know. Eggs
is a pretty big omelet.

[Jackie]
okay guys, we use the same
grouping system we used before.

[ St little pig]
uh... This place
is for the stacks of eggs!

[ Nd little pig]
this place is for the -flats.

[ Rd little pig]
and this place
is for the leftovers!

[Fairy tale folk]
group and conquer!

[Wicked]
fetch!

Oh why didn't I get the broom
with the flying dustpan?!

[Jackie]
okay, spider, what have
you got?

[Spider]
stacks in the hundreds place.

- ... Boxes in the tens
place.

And eggs in the ones place.
Ha ha!

[Jackie]
that's ...and ...and .

[Fairy tale folk]
five hundred and twenty-two!

[Spider]
oh trouble, trouble!

Since big e has the other eggs
- how do we know our eggs

And his total ?

[Inez]
simple! We just move these eggs
out of the way

And add the numbers.

[Spider]
move the eggs? We started to...
Move them?

[Matt]
sure. We don't need the eggs
now

Because the two sets of numbers
stand for all the eggs.

[Jack]
no problem!

[Giant]
fe-fi-fo-fum...

[Digit]
we know, we know! Just move
the eggs, big boy!

[Fairy tale folk]
add the numbers!
Add the numbers!

[Jackie]
okay, let's start in the ones
place for single eggs.

Plus is... Eggs, digit.

[Digit]
check!

[Jackie]
okay, spider, you do the tens
place.

[Spider]
plus is... Uh, easy guys.

It's - just like the singles
column.

[Jackie]
right on, spider. Now, let's
do the 's column.

[Spider]
okay! I have the counting bug!
Ha ha!

Okay, now plus , that makes
!

[Jackie]
you go, spider!

[Spider]
just one thing...

How come there's digits
in the 's column?

[Jackie]
imagine it this way, spider.

That represents stacks
of 's.

[Matt]
or, eggs!

[Jackie]
and you know what that means.
, .

Matt, we need a column
for the thousands.

[Matt]
that one in the new column
represents one hundreds.

Or, , .

[Jackie]
and that gives us the grand
total of... Eggs hacker has,

Plus the ones we just
collected!

[Spider]
... ... ... ... One thousand
two hundred, ninety and nine.

[Fairy tale folk]
one thousand two hundred
and ninety nine!

[Matt]
all right!

[Inez]
hold the party, guys.

Hacker wants one thousand three
hundred -

Not one thousand two hundred
and ninety nine!

[Hacker]
time's up, fairylanders!

[Hacker]
what?! Only one thousand two
hundred ninety nine eggs?!

I asked for one thousand three
hundred!

You're short one egg!

Looks like evil elvis will have
to keep your king. (Evil laugh)

[Jack]
no wait! I think I know where
there might be one more egg.

Wicked witch, wicked witch,
we need one more egg

To get our king back!

[Spider]
you do have one, don't you?

[Wicked]
sure I have an egg, and you can
have it on two conditions.

One, get me out of rapunzel's
hair.

And two, give me back my wand!
Now.

[Jack]
here it is big e.
, + Is !

[All]
yes!

[Fairy tale folk]
hooray! Long live the king!

[Wicked]
as for you hacker, you betrayed
the wrong witch!

Abracadabra is what I say!
Cough up the gold and...

...go, go far, far away!

Oh! I feel so good -

I'll remove my spell
so everyone can count again.

[Jack]
you're too late, wicked.

We learned how to count again
in spite of you.

[Wicked]
you did???

That's what I get for buying
on sale!

[King]
oh, wicked, wicked, you saved
my life.

Be my queen and together we'll
grow old.

[Wicked]
uhh! Marry you and live happily
ever after?! Not on your life!

I'll take my chances
with the greater of two evils.

Big e-e! Wait for me!

[Spider]
I just want to say thanks.

We wouldn't have our king back
if it wasn't for you.

Let's face it.

[Jackie]
you're the one who needs
to be thanked, spider.

You should be proud of what you
did.

[Spider]
I just wanted to help. You know
me...

[Jack]
hey, spider! You want to hang
out?

[Spider]
you want me to hang out with
you? Really? This is a...

I gotta make a phone call...

[Jack]
yeah, sure! Come on!

We're going to go count some
blackbirds.

[Matt]
man, talk about a happy ending!

[Inez]
good job, guys.

[Giant]
um. Anyone looking for this?

[All]
whoaaaaaa...!!!

[Fairy tale folk]
may you live happily ever
after!