02x11 - The Wedding Scammer

[bunniefuu]

* We're moving. We're beatin'
hacker at his game *

* Don't tell me that he's trying
to hack the motherboard, *

* We'll get him every time.

* Cosmic worlds,
freaky places that we've seen, *

* We got the power
of one, two, three, four! *

* Runnin' in a cyberchase,

* We'll meet him face to face.

* We'll stick together
all the time! *

* Adventures in cyberspace

The chase is on!

* Just wait and
c-y-b-e-r-chase! *

Announcer:
it's time for cyberscoop,

With sam vander rom
and erica ram!

Audience:
(applause)

Boy, do we have an exciting
show today, erica!

Tell everyone
who we have on.

Are you ready for this?

The grand pasha of pompadouria!

Everyone, let's have
a royal welcome for...

The grand pasha!

Audience:
(applause)

Digit:
I love this show, motherboard!

Maybe someday I'll be on it!

I could arrange it.

So, pash,

We understand you have an
amazing story to tell us today.

Grand pasha:
oh, indeed I do, sam.

My long-lost daughter,

The princess of pompadouria,

Has returned home.

And she's here to tell us
this amazing story herself!

Princess?

Audience:
(applause)

Erica:
oh! This is just so fabulous!

But tell me,
who did your hair?

Pierre of pomadouria,
who else?

Digit:
what? Wicked a princess?

That's impossible!

Sam:
wicked, now about your past-

Sam, please,
call me princess.

If you are the princess,
then how do you explain

That you've been living
in happily ever after

As the wicked witch?

Well, when I left pompadouria
after college,

To spread my wings
and explore the land,

A fall caused me to forget
my true identity.

Digit:
does she really expect anyone
to buy that ridiculous story?

Oh, you poor thing!
What an ordeal!

It was horrible.

Until, a short time ago,
when I fell again,

And remembered
who I really was.

Grand pasha:
pumpkin.

Daddy.

Audience:
awwwwww...

Digit:
I'm gonna be sick!

Wicked:
and we have a surprise for you
and your audience, right daddy?

Oh, a really big surprise.

Wicked:
I'm getting married!

Meet my husband-to-be!

No! Hacker will inherit
pompadouria's power!

Sam:
but you're the hacker!

Your goal is to dominate
all of cyberspace!

Sam, my days of seeking
cyberworld domination are over.

Pompadouria is such a rich,
I mean beautiful place.

Are you saying you have
no interest

In the power of pompadouria?

None whatsoever!
I'm in love!

Oh, hackie!

Grand pasha:
oh by the way, son,

I am needing some more wig gel.

I have a fabulous idea!

What if we cover your wedding
right here on cyberscoop?

Hmm? Yeah!

Audience:
(gasp)

Wicked:
why... We'd like nothing better
than to share our happiness

With the entire cyberuniverse!

Audience:
(cheering)

Matt:
can't wait for some of your
world famous pancakes, inez.

Me too.
When will they be ready?

Motherboard:
alert! Hacker alert!

Hacker, wicked...
Getting married!

Both:
no way!

Motherboard:
must stop!

What are we waiting for?
Let's go!

Erica:
oh, these flowers
are simply gorgeous?

Who did them?

I picked them myself
from the forever forest.

The forever forest!
How glorious!

Is there anything
this princess can't do?

These disguises
were a great idea, inez.

Ooh! But they sure are itchy.
Ooh!

I don't believe for a second

That wicked is really
a princess!

It doesn't matter what
we believe

The grand pasha believes it!

Jackie:
and so does hacker!

Inez:
why don't we just tell
the pasha what we think?

Because he'll never take
our word for it!

We have to prove it!

Sam:
hacker.

Hacker:
that's the hacker, sam.

Whatever.

If you expect the pompadourians
to accept you,

Will you agree never
to cause chaos again?

An agreement?

Not right now,
sam.

We've got to get ready
for the big "I do".

(Kiss) come along,
hackie honey.

Wicked:
if anything ruins this wedding,

I'm holding you personally
responsible!

Raven:
yes, wicked.

That's princess!

Yes, princess.

No one must find the secret
castle in forever forest

Get it?!

Secret castle?

If anyone finds it,

You must tell me immediately

Or I'll use you
to practice my spelling!

Catch my drift?

Yes, princess.

Now go guard that castle!

Earthlies, it's me!

Jackie:
it's didge!

Something about
a secret castle.

He wants us to follow him.

Matt:
let's go!

I can't believe you've kept
your true identity hidden

From me for all this time.

Who knew you're really
the energy heiress, huh?

Believe it, hackie-poo.
I'm your dream come true.

Oh, yes, the powerful prince
and princess of pompadouria.

Wicked:
that's the princess and prince.

Jackie:
keep going I still see him!

Matt:
hey, look at those
shiny things!

Inez:
yeah! They're the source
of pompadouria's power!

If hacker get his hands
on that stuff,

He'll have enough power
to do whatever he wants!

Hurry!

Boy, we better reach that
secret castle soon,

I'm getting pooped!
Yoikes!

Whoa! Who are you?

I am the princess
of pompadouria.

That nasty witch
locked me in here.

I knew it! Don't worry,
I'll get you out.

But first I gotta get in!

Who sent you?

C-c-can we talk?

I mean, you're a bird,
I'm a bird--well, kinda.

No deal!
Who sent you?!

Matt:
motherboard sent us!

You have a problem
with that?

Leave here at once!

Digit:
no way!

The real princess
is locked in that castle

And we gotta free her,
and expose wicked as a fake.

The real princess?

I saw her myself.

Wicked's up to
her old tricks.

Surprise surprise.

Matt:
how do we get inside?

You can't. It's locked.

Look, you've got to help us.

For motherboard and the safety
of all cyberspace!

Please?

Raven:
hm, motherboard, huh?

Okay, I'll help.

But if wicked finds out,

She'll use her terrible spells.

Digit:
my beak is sealed.

Raven:
this way!

This gate will open

Only if you pour exactly one
cup of sand into this goblet

And pull the lever.

Jackie:
that's easy!

There's tons of sand around
here.

Way more than one cup!

No!
It must be exactly one cup!

No problemo!

Let's see, hm?

A three cup measure,
a two cup and-

Wu-oh!
My one cup is missing!

Jackie:
so how can we measure one cup?

I've got an idea!

Try filling the two-cup
measure half-way up!

That should be one cup.

Sounds like a plan
to me.

You guys pour, I'll hold.

More, more, stop!

Hm?
Looks like one cup to me.

Let's go for it!

The princess is as good
as free!

All:
whoa! Oh no!

Yeow, ouch ooh!

All:
whoa, ow, ooh!

Anyone hurt?

Digit:
it was a trap,
and you knew it!

I said you had to pour exactly
one cup of sand into the goblet

Or the gate wouldn't open.

Well, I thought it was one cup.

Inez:
that's okay, didge,
we all did.

I guess this is harder
than we thought.

Jackie:
at least we know one thing,

Estimating won't solve
this problem.

Matt:
come on, let's try again.

The boss told me I could be
his best man at the wedding.

He told me I could!

I'm smarter than you are!

I'm taller!

I'm faster!

Ugh!

Hacker:
you two duncebuckets give new
meaning to the term, best man!

Erica:
oh and this gown was designed
by laura wing,

And features lots of fluffy
feathers, not real of course.

What do you think, princess?

Wicked:
oh, erica,
they're simply faboo!

Can I have them all?

No! You can only choose one.

Wicked:
well, fine! I'll take the one
with the feathers!

Jackie:
okay, guys, think.

How can we measure exactly
one cup of sand

When all we have
is a two cup measure

And a three cup measure?

You got me. It's too hard!

There's got to be another
way to think about this.

Inez:
another way, that's it!

And I quote,

When a problem is too hard
try something simpler.

Matt:
who said that one?

Inez:
maria garcia, mi abuela.

Digit:
who's that?

Inez:
my grandmother.

Raven:
excuse me.

But the wedding is today!
Not next week!

Okay, okay.

What can we do with these
to make this problem simpler?

You can pour 'em
or you can fill 'em.

How much simpler do you want?

Inez:
why not try pouring the two cup
into the three cup to start,
jax?

Digit:
that was exciting.

Jackie:
digit, you're right.
It was exciting.

We just poured two cups of sand
into the three cup measure

And here's our one cup!

But there's nothing
in that part.

Yes, there is.

Enough space for exactly
one cup full.

Watch what happens when I start
out with a full three cup

And pour it into the two cup.

Two cups in this one,
gives us one cup in this one!

Jackie:
you're right, matt.

Inez:
we did it!

Jackie:
follow me.

One cup of sand into
the goblet

And open sesame!

Kids:
it worked! Let's free
the princess!

Woo-hoo!

Hacker:
(grumbling)

Aw boss, what's the matter?

Hacker:
I'm getting married to wicked,
that's what's the matter!

But boss, she's a princess,
a princess with power!

You're right.
I've got to stay focused.

She is a princess, with power,

And I'll be a prince
with even more power!

I'll be, let me think...

Married! Ahhh!

Wicked:
yoo hoo, hello hackie-poo.

Hello, my blushing bride.

Ugh!

The things I do to achieve
my goal of total domination!

Inez:
whoa. Which door do we use?

Raven:
the one on the right!

The one on the left
has an ogre behind it.

The ogre is behind this one?

Ogre:
arghhhhh!

Digit:
yoikes! He's right.

Refresh my memory.
An ogre is...?

Matt:
a big, ugly monster that
according to mythology,

Eats people.

Okay! I gotta go now.

Inez:
hang on, didge.
We'll figure this out.

It's locked!

Keys!

Raven:
oh, I forgot to tell you!

Seven of those eight keys
weigh the same.

One is lighter.

Only the lightest key
will open the door.

Let me guess, if we try the
wrong key the floor opens up?

No. Use the wrong key,

And the door
with the ogre opens.

Ogre:
(roar)

Kids:
ahhhh!

Ew!

Hey! A scale!

Inez:
cool! Let's use it to weigh
all the keys.

That should show us
which one's lightest!

Good idea.

But this scale can't tell us
what something weighs.

It only shows whether two
things weigh the same or not.

Inez:
I think we can still use it.

What if we compare each
of the keys with the others?

Digit:
what's up with you guys!

We've got a wedding to stop!

It could take hours to compare
all those keys!

Ah. There's one more thing.

You can only use the balance
scale three times.

Digit:
you sure you're on our side?

This is important.

On the fourth try,
the ogre comes out.

Ogre:
(roar)

Jackie:
oh man, we don't know how many
tries it's gonna take!

What are we gonna do?

Matt:
hmm? We're back to inez's
grandma.

Try something simpler.
Wait! I have an idea!

Instead of comparing each
of the keys with the others,

Let's split them
in two equal groups.

The lightest key has to be
in one of them, right?

Inez:
let's weigh them and find out!

Jackie:
okay, this side went down
because it's heavier.

So the lightest key has
to be in this pile of four!

Now let's split this lighter
pile and weigh them again.

Matt:
it's working!

We're down to two keys.

It's got to be one
of these two.

It better be!

Only one weighing left
before hungry ogre time!

Matt:
here it is! The lightest key.
Guaranteed!

Gotta hand it to your grandma,
inez.

This problem started hard...

Inez:
but going simple made it easy.

You did say the right door?

Trust me.

Matt:
if you're in here, mr. Ogre,

Forget about what I said.

I'm sure you're not ugly,

And I'm sure you don't
eat children.

Digit:
or birds.

No birds, please?

Inez:
I think we're safe.

Matt:
but what is that?

Jackie:
oh, man. Another locked door!

Inez:
and look at all these tubes!

Oh, we'll never free
the princess in time!

Matt:
didge! Fly back to the wedding,
try to stall 'em.

We'll get there as soon
as we can.

Digit:
I'm on my way, earthlies!

(Crash) oof.

I'm okay. I'm fine.
I'm going now! Ow!

Erica:
this is just too exciting, sam!
Is this a wedding or what?

If you ask me,
it's more like a circus!

Delete:
o-o-o hey, boss, isn't this
music groovy? (Humming)

Hacker:
zip it!

Raven:
I'll tell you again.

A one-foot section of tube
is missing from right here.

For the ball to roll all
the way down and open the lock,

You have to slide exactly
one foot of tubing

Through this slot here.

If it's the right size,

It will slide into place and
complete the missing section!

Jackie:
here we go again!

All we have are two tubes

That are definitely longer
than one foot and no ruler!

How can we measure exactly
one foot?

Inez:
let's see if we can make this
simpler.

What do we know?

We've got a five foot tube
and a three foot tube,

But we only need
a one foot piece.

Matt:
hmm. Sounds familiar.

Didn't we just do this
with the measuring cups?

Only this time we need a saw!

See? Saw!

Jackie:
cool! The saw not the joke!

Matt:
whatever.

Okay, if we place
the pipes like this,

It would be easy to cut off
a two foot piece. See?

Hand me that, jax.

Inez:
five take away three
leaves two.

Matt:
exactly! But we need one foot -
not two feet!

Inez:
wait. Take the two foot piece

And subtract it from
the three foot piece.

Matt:
yeah! Three take away
two is one.

And that's the one foot piece
we need!

Raven:
oh, I must say...
You fellows are good!

Jackie:
okay, mattster, start cutting!

Matt:
three minus two leaves one!

Inez:
way to go, matt!

Jackie:
I'll slide it into place!

Matt:
hurry, jax!

All set, guys!

Let's have a ball!

All:
yes!

Inez:
free the princess!

(Gasp)

Matt:
princess, you're free!
C'mon!

Princess:
who are you?

Jackie:
we'll explain as we go,

We have one more problem
to solve.

Princess:
i-i don't understand!

Raven:
we must hurry

Or your father will give away
all of pompadouria.

Oh sam, isn't it beautiful?

I think I'm going to cry.

Me too.

The thought of hacker
controlling pomadouria's
energy,

Makes me want to weep!

Justice:
if there is anyone here

Who thinks these two
should not get married,

Speak up now or--

Digit:
stop the wedding!

Wicked's not the real princess!

Hacker and grand pasha:
she's not?

Wicked:
of course, I am!

This silly bird doesn't know
what he's talking about!

Get on with on it!

Justice:
the hacker, do you take the
princess' hand in matrimony--

Digit:
no! This is terrible mistake!

Hacker:
why, of course I do.

You got a hanky,
buzzy?

Justice:
and do you, princess,
take--

Princess:
no!

Kids:
stooooop!

Sam, doesn't that look
a lot like the princess?

Princess:
father! Father,
I am your real daughter.

All:
(gasp)

Princess:
and this is--

Digit:
plain old wicked!

Grand pasha:
you are an imposter!

You mean you aren't the heiress
of this powerful cybersite?

Wicked:
well, not exactly.

I just remembered,

I have to take the grim wreaker
in for an oil change.

Out of my way!

Buzz:
wait for us, boss!

Delete:
yeah, wait up!

Wicked:
but hackie-poo, we could still
be a happy couple.

Matt:
I don't think hacker's
out of trouble yet.

Grand pasha:
how can I thank you all
for freeing my real daughter?

Digit:
actually, you need to thank
this bird over here too.

He showed us the way.

Princess:
no. I will thank him.

Uh, let's try that again.

My prince.

My princess!

Grand pasha:
my goodness!

I wonder what would happen
if I kiss you?

Don't even think about it!

Well erica, a bird turns into
a prince on live television!

How about that?

Just when you think you've
seen it all, right sam?

Oh, and it looks like we'll
have a big wedding after all!