02x21 - Martha: Deadline Doggie / It's the Giant Pumpkin, Martha

[bunniefuu]

MAN:
* Martha was an average dog

* She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

* When she ate
some alphabet soup *

* Then what happened
was bizarre... *

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

* She's got a lot to say

* Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

* Martha speaks

* Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks *

* And speaks and speaks...

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

* Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

* She's not always right, but
still that Martha speaks... *

Hi, there.

* She's got the voice,
she's ready to shout *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two.

* Hear her speak

* Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... *

* Communicates, enumerates,
elucidates, exaggerates *

* Indicates and explicates

* Bloviates and overstates
and... *

(panting)

* Hyperventilates!

* Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. *

Hi, I'm a reporter for
Carolina's Town Crier.

(hisses)

I wonder if I could
ask you a few...

Hmm.

Hey, welcome to the show.

Today you'll hear words
like "reporter,"

"article," "source" and "tip."

(gasps)

You dropped this.

Listen for words like
"anonymous" and "eavesdropping,"

(car engine revs)

plus my least favorite--
"retraction."

Doesn't any news ever
happen in this town?

CAROLINA (in distance):
No...!

Was that Carolina?

Sounds like trouble!
Come on!

(pants)

(grunts)

(pants)

How did you get
here so quick?

I didn't run
around the block.

Good thinking.

Carolina, was that
you who yelled?

Are you okay?

No, cuz, I'm not okay.

MARTHA:
Is your nose wet?

If it's dry
you might be sick.

That's only
for dogs, Martha.

Oh, right.

Did you try
eating some grass?

I'm not sick,
I'm just upset.

I don't have a single
article for my paper.

Is that all?

Is that all?

Articles are the stories in
newspapers and magazines.

No articles, no newspaper!

Oh.

Did you hear about

the new snake
exhibit at the zoo?

That's old news.

I need to sniff out
my own stories.

I could help you
after soccer practice.

That would be too late; my
deadline is in a couple hours.

Ah! A deadline!

Oh, that sounds scary.

Believe me, it is.

A deadline is the time
when you need to be done

with something.

If I want my paper to be
delivered tomorrow morning,

then I have to type all my
articles tonight by : .

Why : ?

That's when International
Icon is on.

Duh.

But it looks like I'm going
to miss my deadline.

MARTHA:
I can help.
You?

Why not?

Who found you the story
about the dinosaur bone?

Martha has a point.

I'm a good listener.

I heard you from down the block.

These legs were made
for chasing moving objects

and news stories.

And this nose can
sniff a hot tip

like I smelled last
night's burritos.

You really think you can get me
some stories, Martha?

Hang on...

She's still thinking
about that burrito.

Look, you get me a story
I can type up before :

and I'll get my dad
to make you

one of his famous burritos.

How's that sound?

You'll have your story
before your deadline

or my name isn't Burrito.

HELEN (whispering):
You mean Martha.

Or my name isn't Martha!

(dog whimpering)

Sounds like a story.

(whimpering)

Hey, John,
what's the news?

(barks)

Slow down, slow down.

(barks)

Really? Tell me more.

Okay, this only works if you
don't repeat what I say.

PARROT:
Repeat what I say.

No, don't repeat.

Don't repeat.

(parrot squawks)

Ha! Now you're talkin'.
Tell me more.

Hmm, a new restaurant.

I bet there's a story there.

(squeaking)

Now, that's what
I call a hot tip!

...and that's what he said.

Wow! Wait until
everyone reads this!

Done typing.

Lo logramos!

We met our deadline!

All right!

You're my ace reporter.

You're the best.

Now, about my salary...

One burrito.

You just have to wait till the
next time my dad makes them.

(sighs)

A reporter's lot
is not a happy one.

MR. PARKINGTON:
"A birthday party

"for Mr. Parkington's sister,

but guess who wasn't invited?"

Oh no!

Hey, a story about
the restaurant!

That's nice.

That's...

What?!

(woofs inquisitively)

Aw, no, it wasn't that hard.

News articles are all around you
if you just know where to look.

RONALD:
You told Carolina
about Commander Manly?

I didn't, honest.

Then how come I read about it
on the front page of her paper?

Who else could
have told her?

I don't know.

I didn't even know you still
played with Commander Manly.

I don't!

I just take him out of the box
every now and then.

It's a collector's item, okay?

(squawks):
Collector's item!

BOY & GIRL:
* Ronald and Commander Manly,
friends forever. *

Ooh, Carolina will pay for this!

Uh, time to go.

A surprise party?

Yes!

And that's why my sister
did not get an invitation.

We wanted to keep it a secret
so that we could surprise her.

But now the surprise is ruined.

Okay, so a surprise is ruined.

So what? What about me?

Read this!

No, don't.
I'll read it.

"Grand opening... very
exciting... tasty food..."

Sounds great.

What's wrong with that?

Wait a minute, I'm coming to it.

"A great success, according
to a mouse named Chester,

who lives in the restaurant
along with of his relatives."

Are you trying to put me
out of business?

I said the food
was tasty.

To mice! To mice!

You said I had a restaurant
full of mice!

We had to name
our source.

What I want to know is

how did you find out about
the surprise party?

You must have been eavesdropping
when I was planning it.

You think I listened
to your conversation?

That's what "eavesdropping"
means--

to listen to people talking

when they don't know
you're listening.

You've been spying on us!

Look, Flapjack
and Mr. Parkington

are talking to Carolina.

They look really excited, too.

I haven't been
eavesdropping.

I would never do that.

Then how else could you
know all these things?

MARTHA:
Hello!

I suppose you're all here
for autographs.

Or, in my case, pawtographs.

(chuckles)

Or not.

I can't believe
they said it was gossip.

It was all true,
wasn't it?

Gossip doesn't mean
it's not true, Martha.

It doesn't?

Gossip is when you talk
about other people

and say things they may
not want everyone to know.

It may or may not be true.

Well, I'm sorry
I gossiped.

I'm shutting down
the paper,

right after
I type an apology

for ruining the Parkingtons'
surprise party.

Tomorrow's paper
will be the last.

I'm a terrible reporter, Skits.

I ruined that surprise party;

I got Mr. Flapjack in trouble;

even Ronald seems upset.

(fire engine alarm blares)

Hey, a fire engine!

I bet there's an article
in that.

Oh, wait, hang on, forget it.

I'm done being a reporter.

We have to find something
else to do.

(woofs)

I don't know,
what we usually do.

Walk around, sniff things,
get jobs.

Hey, the new snake exhibit!

Let's go see that.

(Skits whimpers, barks)

No, snakes aren't
scary, Skits.

They're cool.

And it'll give us a chance
to visit the g*ng.

Come on, it'll be fun.

You saw who, Jeffy?

(trumpets)

Pablum and Weaselgraft?

What were they doing?

(trumpets)

That's perfect, Pablum.

We'll steal it tonight.

What were they
planning to steal?

No, wait, don't tell me.

I don't want to know.

(Skits barks)

No, Skits, it wouldn't be fair
to repeat

what Weaselgraft and Pablum said

since they didn't know
the animals were listening.

That would be eavesdropping.

(trumpets)

Oh, and see?

They walked away before
Jeffy could find out

what they were
planning to steal.

So that solves that.

Now let's go see the snakes.

Uh, which way did they walk?

(penguin squawks)

You saw them, too?

What were they doing?

(evil laughter)

We'll demand a ransom.

When they give us the money,
we'll be rich.

A ransom!

That must mean they're planning
to steal something

very valuable.

(woofs)

No, no, Skits.

We can't tell Carolina.

Not only would
that be gossiping,

but we don't even know what
they're planning to steal.

Hmm, wonder what it was
they were planning to steal.

(penguin squawks)

Oh, they walked away
before you could find out?

Oh, well.

Come on, Skits,
let's go see those snakes.

(woofs)

Yeah, I know the
snakes are that way.

I just want to say hi
to the tiger first.

Come on.
(frustrated growl)

MARTHA:
They're going
to steal what?!

(Skits barks excitedly)

You're right, we have to tell
Caroli...

No, Skits, I can't.

I just don't think Carolina
wants to hear

anything more from me.

(woofs)
You agree?

You think I shouldn't pass
on this highly valuable tip

just because when
I was reporting before

I made one little mistake?

(woofs)

Three little mistakes?

Hmm, maybe you have
a point there.

Oh, sure, it might stop a crime

and save her paper
and redeem me...

(exasperated groan, woof)

Well, if you insist.
Come on, let's go!

(doorbell rings)

Where could she be?

I thought she was putting out
one last paper tonight.

Come on!

MARTHA (loudly):
Where's Carolina?

Don't do that.

(woofs, crash)

We have to find
Carolina and quick.

I think she went to apologize
to Mr. Parkington's sister

for ruining her surprise.

What's the matter?

Only the biggest story since
they invented stories.

Come on, Skits!

(quiet chattering)

I had no idea it was supposed to
be a surprise, Mrs. Jefferson.

Oh, I don't mind
one bit.

I told her it wasn't
your fault.

It was that gossiping dog.

Excuse me, I'll go get
some more hors d'oeuvres.

(Skits pants)

Great, everyone's here!

Carolina, have I got
a story for you.

Talk about a scoop!

I don't want to hear it.

But this one's true.

They were all true.

That's why I'm in trouble.

But it...

La, la, la, I'm not listening!

What are we going to do, Skits?

We've got real news here,
but she won't listen.

(woofs)

Skits, you're a genius.

Hey, everyone,
there's open auditions

for International Icon
at town hall.

And Brian Oceanzest
will be there.

(loud chattering)

Hey, Helen-- follow us!

All right, everyone...

(gasps)

Was it something I said?

The doors are locked.

Where's Brian Oceanzest?

Everyone, I'm sorry.

I made that up
about Brian Oceanzest.

But I had to get you here!

A crime is going to be
committed.

They're going to steal the
statue of General Wagstaff

and hold it for ransom.

Looks like he's still there
to me.

Yeah, but...

Come on, let's get
back to the party.

(sneezes)

Hang on.

Since when do
statues sneeze?

That's no statue...

That's Weaselgraft holding
really, really still!

Uh... hello!

Nice evening.

(loud clang)

(camera clicks)

CAROLINA:
Your tip paid off, Martha.

Front page news!

We were the only newspaper
at the scene of the crime.

Am I your ace reporter
again, Carolina?

You're my only
reporter, Martha.

Ace, only; po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

Now, about that
burrito you owe me.

You have a one-track mind,
Martha.

How many tracks
do you need?

Hey, check out this song!

(upbeat rock music)
* If someone's talking
and you stop to listen in *

* Your mom is on the phone

* And you hear her talking
to her friend *

* Hiding in shrubbery

* And you're straining
your ears *

* Trying to memorize the juicy
gossip that you hear *

* You're eavesdropping,
you're eavesdropping *

* When folks don't know you're
listening you're eavesdropping *

* You might hear who likes who

* You knew you had a hunch
about your birthday presents *

* Yay! You know you're
getting a bunch *

* Might hear all kinds
of things *

* But listening is wrong

* Because your nosy ears
are listening *

* To where they don't belong

* You're eavesdropping,
you're eavesdropping *

* When your friends don't know
you're listening *

* You're eavesdropping.

"Plays with action figures"?

How can someone say I play
with action figures?

Ronald, it's been weeks
since that story came out.

Everyone else
has forgotten it.

You should, too.

Easy for you
to say, Reginald.

No one's printing
lies about you.

Well, there is one easy means
of remedying the situation.

"Remedying"?

You mean making it better?

Mmm.

How?

Simple--

Start your own newspaper.

My own paper?

That's a great idea!

Thank you.

My cousin can help you find
good stories.

He works at
the Wagstaff Daily News.

Perfect.

I'll make a newspaper
that's so great

you'll never hear of
the Town Crier again.

(as male toy):
My paper rules!

(as female toy):
Oh, no!

Grr, ahh!

Never mind.

CAROLINA:
The Ronald Report?

The Ronald Report?

"Dog Saves Family."

Read it to me.

"At : a.m.
on Tuesday morning,

"as most of Wagstaff City slept,
Charlie, a -year-old Shih Tzu,

"was risking his life
to tell his family

about the fire
in their basement."

Wow! Why didn't
I hear about this?

That's a good question.

You're supposed to get
these stories first!

You're my dog reporter.

Actually, I'm your
only reporter.

This is going to wreck us.

No one is going to buy
the Town Crier,

not when Ronald
has real articles.

We could put coupons
in the paper.

No, we need stories.

Big stories!

How about this: "Rival Paper
Threatens Town Crier!"

(sighs)

If we don't increase
our sales,

I'll have to close down
the Town Crier.

I'll get us a story.

No one scoops
this reporter.

Now, could you read me
the rest of that article?

It's gripping!

How about this--

"One-hundred-year-old woman
has giant baby."

I don't know any giant babies
or hundred-year-old women.

Me neither.

I've got one--

boy fails math because he reads
newspaper to dog

instead of
doing homework.

Nah, it's not a very catchy
headline.

Well, I wouldn't use Weekly
Wacky News for story ideas.

Everything there
is fabricated.

They're not fabricated;
they're just not always true.

That's what "fabricated" means.

When you fabricate something,
that means you make stuff up;

you lie.

Oh. I guess some of them
are fabricated.

Like this one that says
that learning new words

can make you smarter and
help you do well in school.

Who's going
to believe that?

(sighs)

I don't think Carolina will want
a story about learning words.

She says it has to be
really big.

Big? What about a pumpkin?

The other day CK and I found
the biggest one I've ever seen.

It was like this.

Who knows,

it might be a
new world record.

This is my corner!

I always sell the
Town Crier here!

Haven't you
gotten the news?

No one wants
to buy that rag.

Everyone wants the
Ronald Report now.

REGINALD:
Did you say the
Ronald Report?

Ah, what a paragon of
journalistic integrity.

Does that mean
it's good?

Indubitably.

Does that mean yes?

Correct. One, please.

That doesn't count.

Reginald Steinglass
is your reporter.

She knows?

In that case,
I'd like my money back.

It doesn't matter.

I've already sold half
my stack anyway.

Face it, you're washed up.

Not so fast.

I bet you guys don't have
anything on the giant pumpkin.

Yeah!

What giant pumpkin?

Yeah, what giant pumpkin?

The one in Wagstaff City that
might break a world record.

What's your source?

We're not telling.

But he's very reliable.

He's a liar?

If someone
is reliable,

that means they
tell the truth

or they are right
most of the time.

Right.

C'mon chief, I'll fill you
in on the details.

Get down to the Wagstaff City
Department of Agriculture

and see what you can dig up.

This is your
reliable source?

We're ruined.

What? I'm a great source!

What's a source?

A source is where a reporter
gets her information.

A source could be a person
or it could be a book

or even the Internet.

Cool.

Only they have to be reliable
and trustworthy.

I'm reliable
and trustworthy.

Besides, I saw the pumpkin
with my own eyes!

It was a real scorcher
that day...

A sheep had gotten loose.

CK and I were trying to get her
back into her pen.

The grass was so high
in that field,

we could barely see a foot
in front of us.

That's when CK found it.

CK:
Sweet sarsaparilla!

Think of the pie
that would make!

I tried to move it,
but it wouldn't budge.

It must have weighed
at least a ton.

I'll have to do some research,
but if it is a world record,

then this could be just
the story we need.

Good work.

Your next round is on me.

High paw!

(phone rings)

Town Crier.

Editor-in-chief
Carolina speaking.

Reginald spent the day
at the Department of Agriculture

and found out that the
world's largest pumpkin is...

, pounds.

b*at that!

Ours is at least
, pounds.

And why didn't you just look
it up on the Internet?

Um...

The Internet is an unreliable
source of information.

At the Ronald Report
we check all our facts twice!

(whispers):
My computer's broken.

(phone beeps)
Hold on, I'm getting
another call.

Hello?

Carolina?

We have some bad news.

¿Qué pasó?

The pumpkin's gone?

No, it's still there.

But TD may have
exaggerated a little.

CK weighed it--

it's pounds,
not a ton.

Hey, wait--

pounds,
isn't that a ton?

No, a ton is
, pounds.

Wow, a ton
weighs a ton.

(groans)

I better tell
Ronald the truth.

Wait, wait!

That's not the only
huge thing I found.

There are mammoth melons,
enormous eggplants.

I'm telling you, something's
going on up there.

Okay, but TD, you better
not be exaggerating again.

Ronald? That was
my ace reporter.

Turns out the pumpkin isn't the
only giant thing on the farm.

You can read all about it
in our next issue.

Farm, huh?

That doofus TD has
an uncle with a farm.

I bet he's the source.

I can get my brother Simon to
drive us out there tomorrow

before he starts his
landscaping job.

Good idea.

We're going to squash
that big pumpkin story!

Get it?

Squash... pumpkin?

(evil laughter)

You're not exaggerating
about these vegetables, are you?

I don't want the Town Crier
to publish a lie.

I have proof.

Check out the size
of this radish.

It has to be a world record.

That's a turnip.

It is? Huh.

We're doomed.

CK:
Doing a school report
on giant pumpkins?

Now what class is that for?

Biology.
History.

It's a new course
that combines both.

Biologihistory.

That a fact?

Okay, I guess you'll want to see
Big Bonnie.

That's what
I call her.

Well, I brought a scale out here
and weighed her.

Clocked in at around pounds.

That's it?

Might not be a world record,
but still pretty big.

Plenty big for a school report,
I should think.

REGINALD:
We proved it.

The Town Crier is full of lies
and exaggerations.

I can't wait 'til
we expose them.

Hang on, I think I just got
a better idea.

How would you like to put
that paper out of business

once and for all?

Now, you promise when Carolina
takes us out to the farm

not to exaggerate anymore?

I wasn't really exaggerating.

CK's vegetables are pretty big.

I was just stretching
the truth a little.

That's what "exaggerating"
means.

If you exaggerate, you make
something seem bigger

or more important
than it really is.

(phone rings)

I got it.

Hello, Martha speaking.

Who's calling?

REGINALD (disguising voice):
Anonymous.

Anonymous?

I don't know any Anonymous.

Are you a friend of Helen's?

No.

If someone wants to be
anonymous,

that means they don't want
anyone to know who they are.

Okay, anonymous caller.

What's up?

I have a tip for
the Town Crier.

A tip? What is it?

There are giants in the woods
near CK's farm.

I've seen them.

In fact, I am one of them.

(dial tone)

Giants!

That's who's been growing
all the large vegetables!

(horn honks)

I can't wait to tell Carolina!

CK:
Large vegetables, huh?

You must be studying
biologihistory.

Um, no, this is for an
article for the Town Crier.

Okay, follow me.

And these are
my zucchini.

Some of them are
almost two feet long.

And they just
mysteriously appeared?

Oh, no, I grew all these.

Come on, I'll show
you Big Bonnie.

That is quite a pumpkin.

But if it isn't a world record,

I don't think we have much
of a... what's that?

It looks like
a footprint.

TD:
A giant one!

Well. I'll be!

I've never seen anything
like that.

They lead into the forest.

What'd I tell you?

Giants!

MARTHA:
Hurry up, we don't want
to miss this.

Carolina's going to be on TV.

And it's all because
of our story!

A giant in Wagstaff City?

We'll take you live at :
to a young reporter

who insists she has the scoop.

(giggling)

I can't believe she fell for it!

MARTHA:
Who? Fell for what?

Those footprints.

They're fake.

Fake?

Reginald's brother made
them with his lawn mower.

(laughs):
Look!

It's going to be on the front
page of the next Ronald Report.

That's what you get
for following...

(voice from phone call):
an unreliable source.

You're the anonymous caller!

Only you're not
anonymous anymore.

We know who you are.

That's right.

And after we break the real
story, we'll be famous.

(evil laughter)

So you see,
it was all a big lie.

There were no giants,
just some big vegetables.

Well, I better tell that
TV reporter the truth.

This is all my fault.

I wish I'd never told you
about that pumpkin.

It's okay, Martha.

You were following a lead.

Sometimes they just
turn out to be dead ends.

Do you think you'll have
to shut the paper down?

Who knows?

A story might turn up.

Hang on.

You may already have your story.

REGINALD:
Here we go,

the moment we've been
waiting for:

the last gasp of the Town Crier!

(male toy):
Boy, I showed you!

(female toy):
Ah, Ronald, you're too smart
for me!

Unfortunately, the giant story
has turned out to be

a tall tale.

BOTH:
Yeah!

REPORTER:
However, a very local newspaper

did provide us with another
fascinating story.

Could it be that today's youth
are failing to mature?

Apparently, some teenage boys
are still playing

with action figures.

Channel Six is
on the scene live.

(doorbell rings)

(Ronald screams)

Good morning.

Recently there was a story
in the Town Crier

about giants
that I helped write.

That story was not
entirely true.

He means it was a lie.

Complete hogwash.

Not an ounce of truth to it.

I would like to retract
that story.

Because it was false, a load
of hooey, absolute rubbish.

By telling you I'm retracting
the story,

I'm saying I'm taking it back.

Forget I said it.

I didn't mean it.

If ever there was a story
that should be retracted,

it's this one.

(loud thud)

Did you hear something?

This retraction is final.

I apologize if I have
inconvenienced anyone

in any way.

Giant!

Run for your life!

(screaming)

I retract that retraction.

Did you catch all the words
about reporting?

Here are a few of them again.

A deadline is the time when you
need to be done with something.

If someone is reliable,

that means they
tell the truth

or they are right
most of the time.

If you exaggerate, you make
something seem bigger

or more important
than it really is.

That's what "fabricated" means.

When you fabricate something,

that means you make stuff up;
you lie.

See you next time.

(cheering)

* Who's that dog? *

* Who's
that dog? *

* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *

That dog is Bert.

We're at Children's Hospital
Boston.

He's not a doctor.

Bert is a volunteer with the
volunteer services department,

the Pawprints program.

BOY:
"My name is Bert.

I love to walk on the beach
and go swimming."

Bert is in the hospital because
he's a friend.

MAN:
I think that it makes them feel
for a little bit

like they're not
in the hospital

and they can take their mind
off things.

Bye, Bert.

MAN:
He enjoys coming to see the kids
because he gets to be pet

by a lot of children.

That's the spot he likes--
look at his leg.

(laughs)

Bye, Bert!

* Hey, ho! Bert, go!

BOY:
"I also enjoy treats."

MAN:
He gets to have
little doggie treats

when we get back to the office.

* He's that dog... *
* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *