05x02 - Grandpa's Bad Bug/Lady Luck

[bunniefuu]

[Cymbals crash]

[Light percussive music]

♪ ♪

- Ooph!

♪ ♪

[Gasps]

[Twins giggle]

♪ ♪

- [Gasps]

- [Groans]

Ugh.

♪ ♪

[Milk squishes]

- [Gasps]

[Laughter]

- Hmm.

- Well, I'm off to my
pinochle tourney at the lodge.

Don't wait up.

- Whoa, hold on.

We talked about this, pop.

You promised no more
of these all-nighters.

Remember the last time?

You got so tired, we couldn't
get you out of bed for a week.

It's not healthy
for a man your age.

- A man my age?

Why, I'm as fit as I was when
I was an ensign in the corps.

And back then, we used to
stay up for 15 days in a row.

And we liked it.

- Pop.

- Aw, shucks.

You never let me play
with my friends.

- Pop, you promised.

Remember what you used to
say to me when I was a kid?

If a promise you don't keep,
it will haunt you in your sleep.

And as you lie
beneath your quilt,

You will have a
conscience full of guilt.

- Oh, all right.

I'll be back early.

I promise.

- Have fun, pop.

- [Scoffs]

[Rooster crowing]

[Groaning]

Shh.

[Yells]

[All gasp]

- What was that?

- Oh.

If a promise you don't keep,
it will haunt you in your sleep.

But if it's cards
you like to play,

Then sneak in and sleep all day.

[Laughs]

- Pop, what are you doing up
at this hour?

- Oh, well, i--i
just--

Well, I for one,
am glad you're up early, pop.

Didi and I have decided
to weed the whole yard today.

And now you can help us do it
as a family.

Come on, pop, grab a shovel,
roll up your sleeves,

And bond with us.

- It's grandpa.

- Well...
[Stammers]

I'd love to help you, boy.

But the reason I'm up so early
is that I'm--i'm sick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I woke up with
an upset stomach.

I think I got a bug.

It hurts right here.

Ooh.

[Groans]

- Did you guys hear that?

My grandpa's got a bug
in his tummy.

- Eww.
He ate a bug?

- Wow, he is the bestest
grownup ever.

- I've always liked him.

- Oh, pop.

I'm so sorry you're not
feeling well.

Do you need to see a doctor?

- No, no, no, no, no.

I'm just gonna get
myself up--

Back up to bed
and try sleeping this...

[Groans]

Thing off.

- Well, okay.

I'll bring you some ginger ale
and crackers.

You just take it easy, pop.

- I'm really sorry.

I wish I could, ow, help.

All that work for you.

[Laughs]

And then sneak in
and sleep all day.

[Laughs]

- There you go.

- [Burps]
I was thinking.

Your grandpa eated
a bug, right?

- Right.

- And it getted him sick?

- That's what he said.

- But me and phillip
eated a bazillion bugs,

And we never getted sick.

- Hmm, I guess it must
have been a bad bug.

- Whoa.
There's bad bugs?

- Just when I thought
there was something

I could depend on.

- Well, at least the bad bug
is all the way up there.

And we're all the way down
here where he can't get us.

- Chuckie's right.

If a bug is making
my grandpa sick,

Then we got to go up there
and get it out of him.

- I said that?

Hey, guys, I don't think
that's what I said.

- [Snoring]

- How are we gonna get
that bug out of there?

- Well, let's see.

What would make a bug go from
some place to some place else?

- How about a picnic?

- What do you mean?

- Well, our mommy
taked us to a picnic.

And all the buggies went
from wherever they was

To all over the food.

- But where are we gonna find
the picnic food?

- I still got some old cheese
from that picnic.

- That's great, phil.

What else we got?

- I got a chunk of hot dog
and some cake.

- Hey, you got
anything else in there?

- No, not right now.

- Good going, phil.

Follow me.

- [Snoring]

- [Grunts]

All's we got to do now
is make a picnic

On my grandpa's face,

And the bug will come out
to eat it.

- I don't think this is
a very good idea.

- [Coughing]

- Pop, what's wrong?

- Tastes like I just swallowed
a conflab sweat sock.

- Okay, I'll go down and get
you some fresh ginger ale.

If a promise you don't keep,
it will haunt you in your sleep.

- Aw, phooey.

[Snoring]

- Well, I guess if that bug
isn't gonna come out,

There's nothing else we can do.

Let's go.

- Chuckie's right.
We gotta go in and get it.

- What?

What did i...
[Groans]

- [Snoring]

- Flashlight.

Nose.

Block.

[Gasps]

I see the bug.

It's moving around.

Pliers.

Both: wow.

- Come on, chuckie,
take a look.

It's not scary.

- Oh, boy.

I don't think this is
a very good idea, either.

- [Yells]

- Huh?

- [Coughing]

- What's wrong?

Are you okay?
What's wrong?

- It feels like a lobster's been
shaking hands with my tonsils.

- Your throat looks awful.

That must be one mean bug
you've got in there, pop.

- Bug?
Oh, oh, right, right, the bug.

Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

- Now,
try to get some rest.

And as you lie
beneath your quilt,

You will have a conscience
full of guilt.

- Conflamit.

[Snoring]

- I guess that bug really
doesn't want to come out.

- Oh, I don't know, guys.

I wish I could just go into
my grandpa

And fight that bad bug.

- But you're too big, tommy.

- I know.

Maybe if we could find
something smaller to help us.

- How about another bug?

- A good bug.

- Sure, just like
the reptar movie.

The good monster
always wins.

- Yeah, but that's a movie.

Things never turn out like
they do in the movies.

- Chuckie's right.

All's we gotta do is find
a good bug

And bring it to my grandpa
to fight the bad bug.

- [Sighs]

- Look, your mom and dad
dug us a bunch

Of really good bug holes.

- Here's a good buggy.

- Wait, let's use this one.

It's even better.

- No, it isn't, phillip.

- Yes, it is, lillian.

- Okay, guys,
we'll take them both.

- [Gasps]

Oh, look at that, deed.

The kids are trying to help us.

- They're so sweet.

- Hey,
this little guy's cute.

- Well,
I guess he can go too.

- Eww.

This one's really fuzzy.

- And this one's got lots
of legs.

- Okay, guys, that's enough.

No more good bugs.

- This is ridiculous.

We gots too many.

- You can't have
too many good bugs.

- Ooh, you're coming
with me, mr. Juicy.

- [Snoring]

- [Grunts]

[All grunt]

- Mmm.

- No, lillian, not today.

These bugs gots a job to do.

- Okay, guys.

That bad bug is in my
grandpa somewheres.

And these good bugs
is gonna get it out of there.

- Put the kittypillars up here
in case that bug tries

To escape out of grandpa's ears.

- This guy's big and strong.

It can lead them
into my grandpa.

We'd better get out of the way.

This could get messy.

- [Laughs]

Now, this is a good idea.

- If a promise you don't keep,

It will haunt you
in your sleep.

And as you lie
beneath your quilt,

You will have a conscience
full of guilt.

- I think he's going in.

- Oh!

[Yells]

Help me!

Help me!

[Yelling]

- We did it.

The bad bug's gone.

Grandpa's not sick anymore.

[All cheer]

- Oh, please, please.

I lied, I lied.

I'm not sick.

I was out all night
at the lodge.

I'm sorry.

Oh, that conflabbed poem.

I just want to be able
to sleep again.

Please, please.

I'll pull weeds.

I'll plant weeds.

I'll do anything.

Please, please.

- Uh...

[Laughter]

- Well, that's it, you guys.

We saved my grandpa.

- Yeah.

[Laughs]

Now that he's all better,
can we eat the leftovers?

[Laughter]

- Hot diggety.

That new senior center downtown
is having a bingo night.

Yup, sprout,
your old grandpa has got a date

With lady luck tonight.

- Pop, you can't
go out tonight.

You promised to sit
for the kids.

- Oh.

Oh, right.

I forgot.

Well, that's all right.

You go and have dinner.

The sprouts and I
will be just fine.

- Thanks, pop.

See you later.

- We'll be just fine playing
bingo and the senior center.

[Laughter]

- Come on.
Let's go.

[Humming]

Say, there.

How's a fella get entered
in the big bingo tournament?

- Aw, nuts.

- [Laughs]

I got you that time.

- No, no, no, mr. Dworzak.

- [Gasps]

Milk.

- I've told you before,
no jumping the checkers.

I want you to stay quiet
and relaxed.

- How am I supposed to win
if I can't jump?

- Remember what the we care
senior center guidebook says.

Quiet and relaxation
are the keys to happiness.

- [Groans]

- And I want every one of my
seniors to be very happy.

- Happy.

She wants us to be asleep.

- Now, why don't you two
go on over to the pottery class.

They're making vases today.

[Both sigh]

- [Sniffs]
mmm, milk.

- All right, kids.

The room we want
is the first door on the right.

- And again, o-2.

- Guys, look at this.

- That must be all the
fiddlywinks in the world.

- Let's play.

[Laughter]

- This is it, sprouts.

Old lady luck is about
to pay me a visit.

- Lady luck?

Hey, guys, that's the friend
my grandpa was talking about.

- Ooh, is she coming?

- Back in my army days,
the boys used to joke

That the lady and me
were dating.

I remember the time
I tripped over a bazooka

And fell right into
the u.s.o. Camp.

They handed me a plate
of cookies and milk.

And I danced the night away.

[Laughs]

♪ Cha, cha, cha, cha,
cha, cha, cha, cha, cha ♪

- I-2, i-2.

- I-2.

Don't have that one.

But don't worry, sprouts.

Any second now,
they'll be calling our number.

Any second now.

- B-8.

And again, b-8.

- Oh, shucks.

I don't have that one,
either.

I don't know where lady luck
is tonight, sprouts,

But she sure isn't here.

[Laughter]

- What's the matter, tommy?

- Oh, it's my grandpa.

I think he's sad 'cause his
friend never came to visit.

- Maybe she
forgotted about him.

- Well, all's I know is,
she was supposed to bring him

Milk and cookies and
cha, cha, cha, whatever that is,

And she never came.

- Maybe she doesn't know
he's here.

- That's it, chuckie.

We got to go find her
and tell her my grandpa's here.

- [Sighs]

This place is so big, tommy.

What if we get lost?

- Phil and lil can leave
some fiddlywinks behind,

So we can follow them back.

- Okay.

- Cha, cha, cha.
Cha, cha, cha.

- [Gasps]

Hey, they got
cha, cha, cha in there.

That must be where
lady luck is.

- ♪ One, two, cha, cha, chag ♪

♪ One, two, cha, cha, cha ♪

♪ Cha, cha, cha ♪

- O-2, o-2.

- [Sighs]

- [Groans]

- ♪ One, two, cha, cha, cha ♪

- Step, together.

Left, together.

Shake that groove thing,
ladies.

Shake it.

- Well, there sure are
a lot of ladies in here.

- What are they doing?

- Looks kind of like that dance
we did at daycare.

- The hokey dokey.

[Both singing]

- How are we supposed to tell
which one is lady luck, tommy?

We don't even know
what she looks like.

- I think the cha, cha, cha
is coming from over there.

[Upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Whoa.

- Did you find
the cha, cha, cha, tommy?

- I think it's coming
out of th--whoa.

- What in the world?

- Whoa!

- ♪ One, two, cha, cha, cha ♪

♪ Cha, cha, cha ♪

- [Gasps]

- ♪ One, two, cha, cha, cha ♪

- Okay, let's really
shake that groove thing.

- [Gasps]
oh, stop.

Oh, please, stop.

No.

Ladies.

Ladies.

- So that's the cha, cha, cha.
[Laughs]

- It's even better
than the hokey dokey.

Both: ♪ cha, cha, cha ♪

- Oh, lady luck
must be here somewhere.

[Both gasp]

[All yell]

- Whoa.

[Sighs]

- Lookit.

They're playing with
big chocolate cookies.

- First cha, cha, cha,
now cookies.

We got to be getting closer.

Come on, babies.

Follow that cookie.

- Cookie!

[Laughter]

- B-45.

- Hmm.

- B-45.

- [Sighs]

Not one single number.

I guess this old man's luck
has finally run out.

- Let me go.

Let me go.

[Panting]

Emergency.

Free seniors
in the pottery room.

Call the comm squad
and meet me there.

All of you, stop.

This activity is not approved.

Quiet and
relaxation--[yells]

- Eww.

Yuck.

- I think this cookie
is older than we are.

- G-4.

G-4.

- First we mold and shape
our clay

Very carefully and slowly.

Now, isn't this fun?

- [Yawns]

- That does look like fun.

- Huh?

[Laughter]

- [Gasps]

- Oh.

- [Gasps]

- Hey, I like it.

Let me try that.

[Laughter]

- Please, everyone listen.

This madness must stop.

The book says--

[All gasp]

- Hey, wait.

Isn't that the lady we seen
doing cha, cha, cha?

- Yeah, and then we seen her
when we found

The big chocolate cookie.

- Yeah. And I just 'membered
I saw her bring milk

To the grandpas.

- Milk, cookies,
cha, cha, cha.

She must be...

[Together]
lady luck.

[All gasp]

[Laughter]

- Now, where in the world
did you come from?

[Laughter]

- Aha, the bingo markers.

- O-7.

- Huh?

O-7?

Hey, that's one of mine.

[Applause]

- Thank you.
Thank you, ms. Horkin.

I think it's fabulous
that you finally decided

To loosen things up around here.

- Yeah, we haven't had
this much fun in years.

- Fun?

But the guidebook says--

- Quiet and relaxation
are the keys to happiness.

Having a little fun
is the key to happiness.

[All cheer]

- I suppose if that's
what makes you happy.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I think I'd better return
these babies.

[All speaking at once]

- B-12.

- B-12.
That's four in a row.

All's I need now is n-16 to win.

Looks like lady luck is--
- excuse me.

By any chance do these babies
belong to you?

- Why, yes, they do.

I hope they haven't been
making a nuisance of themselves.

- Not at all.

As a matter of fact,
they've been fun.

- Really?

Then maybe you'd like
to come out

For a little ice cream with us.

And you could tell me
all about it.

- Ice cream.

- N-16.

- My goodness.
Wasn't that lucky?

Why, I believe
you've just won.

- I believe I have.

[Upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- There's no party.

There can't be a party.
There's no dip.