01x07 - Dating Season/Anne vs. Wild

[bunniefuu]

[grunting]

Why do we always hang out
in the woods?

You have a perfectly good
living room.

Where's the fun in that?

This place is full
of nature.

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah, exactly.

[humming]

[gasps] Stay back.

It could be
a bloodsucking predator.

You are really not selling me
on this place.

Oh, no. It's an...

Ambush!

[grunting]

- I'm hit! Sprig down!
- Sprig down!

- Ha ha!
- Hey, Ivy. Nice ambush.

Gourd in a wig? Classic.

[chuckles] Can't take all the credit.
You're really easy to trick.

- Well, guilty as charged.
- [both laugh]

Ahem.

[clearing throat]

Oh, IvyAnne,
Oddity from another world.

And meet Ivy. Childhood acquaintance

and occasional
sparring partner.

[grunts, laughs]

- Hey, Ivy.
- Hey, I've seen you around.

Nice to officially meet.

Do you like being
randomly att*cked?

- Not at all.
- Well, too bad.

See you later, Sprig.

But you won't see me.

[shouts]

[laughs]
Well, well, well.

She's kinda cute, huh?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Well, well, well,
well, well, well, well.

[Sprig]
You're being weird, Anne.

[Anne] We're home!

What have you two
been doin'?

I've been lookin' for you
all morning.

Oh, nothing.

Except Sprig was totally
flirting with a cute girl!

[gasps] No kiddin'?

Anne, it's not like that.

Ivy Sundew and I
are just friends.

Ivy Sundew? Nobody move!

I'm gettin' the courtship kit.

This is so exciting!

I'm gonna go get my
dating magazines. BRB!

I don't actually care.

Here we go.
The Firefly Formal is tonight.

It's the perfect opportunity
to begin the ritual.

- Ritual?
- Uh-huh.

Only frogs who have performed
the ceremonial dance

in the ceremonial garb
are allowed to be wed.

Huh. Kitschy.
I like it.

Guys! We're just friends.

Besides, I'm already engaged
to Maddie, right?

She gave me this nifty ring.

Forget her. The Sundews have
secret proprietary crops.

Do you have any idea
what that means?

Uh...

If our families merge,
we'll be rich!

Wow. So romantic.

Uhh! I love
these magazines.

Look, Sprig.
It says here

two-thirds of all soul mates
start out as "just friends."

Wait, what? Really?
And you trust these things?

Definitely.
Magazines never lie.

Could Ivy be
my eternal love,

my soul mate,
the cat to my bat?

Well, we're about
to find out

'cause I already asked
her family.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

They agreed to a date!

What do you want?

Oh, your tip.
All right, here you go.

But don't take too much, though.
I have chores to do later.

Well, missing out on
eternal love does sound bad.

I guess one date
couldn't hurt.

- Hey!
- That's my boy!

[music playing]

- [Hop Pop] Stop strugglin'.
- Just a little more.

- [Sprig grunting]
- All righty. Cool.

My boy,
you look incredible.

Uh... I don't know
about this.

Ivy's gonna think
I look stupid.

I think I look stupid.

Great! You'll have
something in common.

It's fine.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

My little girl's a woman.

Mom!

[gulps]
All right, boy,

go get that lucrative
business relationship.

Oh, I mean, romantic
relationship.

[chuckles]
Saved it.

[squeaking]

Hey.

Hi.

Uh... these are
for you.

Oh.

Thanks.

So...

you're looking like
a... girl frog.

Oh, okay.
I like your, uh, collar.

[groans, chuckles]

[sighs] I'm so happy we agreed
on this merger, Hopadiah.

That Sprig of yours
looks like a hard worker.

Like we agreed, you'll get Sprig
to work at your restaurant,

and I'll get the seeds to
those Sundew vegetables.

Agreed.

This is so exciting.

I wonder what
their ship name will be.

Ivig? Sprigivy?

What are you
even saying?

Shh! Let's watch
our little love doves fly.

- Love doves are birds that mate for life.
- I got it.

Excuse me, everybody,

but I hear we have a couple
of love doves here tonight.

Ivy Sundew
and Sprig Plantar.

Whoo! A big hand for them.
Come on, let me hear it.

Hopadiah Plantar says,
"Sprig, don't mess this up for us."

And Felicia Sundew would like Ivy
to "have a great courtship. Wink."

It says "wink" here.
"Love, Mom."

All right, then.
Hit it, boys!

[music playing]

[both chuckle nervously]

[both grunting]

There we go.

I had no idea you felt
this way about me, Sprig.

Oh, sure. Didn't you know two-thirds
of all mates start with souls?

Ah! I mean,
two-thirds of all souls start with...

[sighs] I can't do this.

I'm really sorry, Ivy.

I... I don't want
to date you.

Everyone just convinced me
this was a good idea.

Oh, thank goodness! I only went along
because I didn't want to hurt you.

Also 'cause my mom
forced me.

Ha! Parents, am I right?

What do you say we ditch this
thing and go watch some fireflies?

They're in season.

[laughs]
After you, friend.

Why, thank you, friend.

[both laughing]

Ooh-la-la. The little love doves
are sneaking off into the woods.

You know what that means.

It means,
they're abandoning the ritual!

If those two don't finish
that dance...

Then this courtship
will be ruined!

Along with
my financial security!

Wait, what? We cannot
let them waste this chance.

They say nine out of ten people
stay up at night

regretting missed romantic opportunities.
Nine out of ten!

Come on, g*ng.
Let's get this merger back on track.

Uh, counterpoint.
Why don't we just leave them alone?

Ridiculous.
Not a chance.

I'm way too invested
right now.

[grunting]

Wow.

Man, this is way better than that
stuffy old dance. Right, Ivy?

Ivy? Ivy?

Ambush!

Ha ha!

Oh, no, you don't.

Ha ha ha!

Come back here!
This'll be your grave!

That's, uh...
That's pretty dark.

Hmm. Where are
those dang kids?

- [wings flapping]
- [bird screeches]

- What's that?
- Huh?

- They're beautiful.
- Just look at them.

Love doves.
Don't move or we're dead.

What? I thought they were all
romantic and mate for life.

Yeah, and they spend that life
massacring all living things.

[both coo, shriek]

[all scream]

- [squawking]
- [all scream]

- [all] Beautiful.
- [all scream]

Hey, purple ones.

Oh, yeah, those are babies.
I read that they're purple

so the moms can find them
if they get lost.

What? That's adorable.

I know, right?

Bleh.

[screaming]
What the...

That sounded like...

[screaming]

Our families!
We gotta help them!

Way ahead of you.
Come on, let's go!

[screeching]

[all grunt]

[all gasp]

[both shriek]

We're stuck.

[both squawk]

Uh, so they're
not gonna eat us?

Not right away.
Love doves prefer

to let their prey
marinate in fear first.

[groans] Can it, Plantar.
This is all your fault.

If you taught your grandson
proper courtship technique...

My fault?
It's obviously yours.

[grunts, spits]

Guys, it says here that our
relationships define us,

and nothing else.
Nothing else!

[all speaking, indistinct]

[growls] Enough!

It's all your faults.

Say what?
Impossible.

Zip it! The only reason
we're here marinating

is because you all
had to play matchmaker.

You two were greedy,
plain and simple.

- Maybe a little.
- It's nuanced.

Nice. Totally innocent
for once.

You two should be ashamed.

Are you kidding?

Sprig only
went through with this

because of you
and this dumb magazine!

[growling]

[panting]

Wow. I feel lighter somehow,

more... free.

[both] Hey!

We're here to rescue you.

Whew!
Oh, thank frog.

We're also here to tell you
we don't want to date each other

and we never will.
We know. Polly set us straight.

Look, kids, we...

Sprig, I'm so sorry.

[shrieking]

I always tell them, "Save the heartfelt
apologies for when we get to safety."

Don't worry, guys.
Sprig and I are ready for combat.

- Right?
- Right.

On the count of three.

One, two...

- Sprig?
- Ambush! Ha ha!

- [grunts]
- [shrieks]

Take that,

you beautiful creature!

[squawks]

- [squawks]
- Whoa!

[cooing]

Nice ambush.

Well, I learned
from the best.

Now let's finish this up.

[squawks]

[sighs]

Amazing. Even in defeat,
they're majestic.

[cooing]

Come along now, Ivy.
Let's get you home

so I can apologize
safely.

Okay. That was fun.

- See ya, Sprig!
- See ya, Ivy!

Sprig, next time we won't
get the courtship kit out

until you're good and ready.

Now I can focus
on finding love for Polly.

No!

Well, that's
the end of that.

Now you and Ivy can go back
to being just friends. Yep.

Oh, you just fell in love
with here, didn't you?

Yeah, I just fell in love
with her.

[frogs croaking] *AMPHIBIA*
Episode (Part-B): "Anne Vs Wild"

Sync corrections by srjanapala

[wind whistling]

Blech. Hands are feeling
pretty dry.

That will not do.

Lotion, lotion.

Did I get zapped here
with any lotion?

Oh, hey. What's this?

Oh, my gosh.

Guys! I brought
a bath b*mb from home

and didn't even know it!

Oh, yeah!

Man, I can't wait
to try this baby out.

Uh...

You guys going somewhere?

Yep. The three of us are
going to Camp Phlegmington.

Gonna rough it outdoors
and get filthy!

Wait, without me?

Sure are.
When we Plantars camp,

we camp hard.

No sense in you coming with
us and being miserable.

You know you hate dirt,
bugs, rocks... and nature.

You're soft, Anne,
like a baby.

Really, you should be glad
you're not one of us.

That's ridiculous.
Me, soft? Pfft!

Just because I'm not a Plantar doesn't mean
I can't have a good time with you guys.

Take me with you.
Please, please, please?

Are you sure?
I wasn't kiddin' when I said "rough."

And I wasn't kidding when
I said you were soft.

Super-sure.

Aw, come on, guys.

If Anne says she can handle
it, she can handle it.

Well, all right, kid.
Hop on.

Whoo, whoo!

Psst. Hey, since
you're coming with us,

we gotta lather you up
with this gunk.

Only way to keep
the ticks away.

[chuckles]
Here we go.

Ahh. And back around.

Ooh. Looks like
I missed a spot.

Totally not regretting this.

[grunts] Yeah!

Easy does it,
easy does it.

Ha! Aah!

[grunts] Ahh.

I can't wait to tell
scary stories.

The more teen frogs running from
deranged psychopaths, the better.

[laughs] I'm just happy
to get off the farm.

So much fresh air,
and it's all mine.

[inhales deeply]

[giggles]

I personally love
the peace and quiet.

A frog can really hear
themselves think out here.

Did you leave the stove on?
The front door unlocked?

Will you die alone?

Well, that was a mistake.

[groans]

You sure you want
to stay, Anne?

You can take Bessie
and go home if you need to.

Hey, hey, hey!
Here's an idea.

How about we stop
questioning my decisions

and get to camping
together already?

- Who's with me?
- Yeah!

- Good idea!
- Yeah, that sounds good.

[screams] Whoa!

[screaming]

- [both gasp]
- Come on, kids, throw some dirt on it!

Here's some water!

[scratches]

[screams]
Get it off!

No, no, no!
[screams]

Get it off! Get it off!

Whoa! No, no, no!

No, no, no! [screams]

[thud]

Ow! Careful!

I'm pretty sure those ticks
caused internal damage.

So, awkward question,

but are you sure you wouldn't
be happier back home?

Seriously, Anne,
no need to t*rture yourself.

Take Bessie
and go home.

And don't you worry
about us,

'cause we'll be
just fine without you.

[echoing] Without you.

No! Look, I know it seems
like I'm miserable, okay?

But I'm not. It's just...
It's just, uh...

[laughing]

I'm not used
to such easy camping.

- Easy?
- Huh?

Look around you.

Singing, butterflies, laughter.

I guess I'm just used to something
a little more... Extreme.

Ah!

So, this place ain't
extreme enough for ya?

Uh, dang right it ain't.

[laughing]

[laughing hysterically]

I can take you folks
to a real campsite,

one where there ain't
none of this kiddie stuff,

like shelter
or potable water. Blech.

Well, would a more extreme
experience make you happy, Anne?

Uh, yeah?

If Anne wants hard-core,
we go hard-core.

Lead the way,
Mr., uh...

Name's Joe. Soggy Joe.

[laughing]

Yeesh. Could you like,
turn down the creep

- just a bit?
- No!

Oh.

[purrs]

Aw.

[snarls]

[snail screams]

[groans]

We're here.

We bunk here
for the night.

And in the morning,
if we're still alive...

[all gasp]

I'll take you all out
for pancakes.

Oh, that sounds great.
I do like pancakes.

Want to hear a tale?

- Uh...
- I'm good.

Hard pass, old man.

Oh, me! I love
scary stories.

[all groan]

Gather 'round

and hear ye the tale
of the Mud Men.

Born in the bowels
of the bog itself,

the mud creatures stalk
the inky night,

lusting to devour
any frogs

that might have wandered
into their domain.

Ten bucks says
he doesn't come back up.

Just like us!

[laughs]

Ah, yes.

The Mud Men only fear
two things.

Daylight and being clean.

Holy honey thistle!

What? What is it, Joe?

Nature calls.
Be right back.

Is this extreme enough?

[screams] Uh... um...

[laughs] What? No.
I am loving this.

[Joe groans]

Oh, uh, hey Sog Man.
Everything okay?

[groans]

[all scream]

Don't worry. Good thing
I brought my copper matches.

- [groans]
- It's the Mud Men!

[groaning]

They're real!

And they're here
for our delicious souls!

Oh, man,
this is all my fault.

Everyone, grab a torch!

[grunts]

Back away!

[yells]

[all grunting]

[groaning]

[Mud Men moaning]

Really wish we had some
sunlight right about now.

Or heck,
cleaning products.

[gasps] I have something
even better.

Everyone, take cover!

Peony Princess bath b*mb!

Good-bye, dear friend.

[grunts, spits]

[grunts]

[all groan]

- Well, guess we're dead.
- Uh-huh.

[fizzing]

[both scream]

The jig is up, boys!

Quickly, before she throws
another one of those things!

[all screaming]

Man, all I wanted
to do today

was get muddy
and eat people.

[all cheer]

I can see your butt!

Guess we were wrong
to doubt you, Anne.

You really are used
to extreme camping.

[sighs] Guys,
I have a confession.

This extreme camping stuff
is nonsense.

I was miserable back there.
I was just trying to cover it up.

So you dragged us to this
horror show for no reason?

Twisted. I love it.

I don't understand. Why lie about it?
Why be miserable?

I guess I've been feeling
kind of left out lately.

- I'm not a frog.
- [grunts]

I'm not a Plantar.

Heck, I wasn't even invited
on this trip.

I really like you guys
and wanted to be with you,

miserable or not.

I don't know if it's
the sweet-smelling toxins

or the overwhelming
emotions,

but dang it, I'm a mess.

Next time,
we'll include you, Anne,

even if we know
you'll hate it.

Thanks, you guys.
Aah!

[groans]

[roars]

[all scream]

[groans, sighs]

Ooh-wee! [laughs]

Good thing I wore
my axe-proof vest, eh?

So, what'd I miss?

- Oh, pretty much everything.
- Really?

Oh, Joe,

- there were these crazy cannibals.
- Wow.

- They tried to eat us.
- Oh, serious?

Yeah, actually,
it turned out they were just frogs.

- Oh, no way.
- Wimpy little frogs covered in mud.

Unbelievable. Uh-huh.
And then we ran, we tried to use torches,

- it was all a big thing.
- Yeah?

- It was very dramatic.
- Oh? Keep going.

Anne saved us
with her bath b*mb.

Yeah, I smell it.
It's great. Is that peony?

- Yeah, that is peony.
- Yeah, I have a nose for these things.

So, that's pretty much it.
You're all caught up.

Oh, great.

[crickets chirping]

So, you all want
to get pancakes early?

- Oh, yeah, that sounds great.
- Let's do it.

[Polly] I've always been
more of a waffle girl, myself.

Guys, now that
we've been through a lot,

there's something
I'd like to share with you.

This is how I got here.

- Wow. Shiny.
- Oh!

It's some kind of
crazy music box or something.

Have you guys seen
anything like it before?

- May I?
- Sure. I mean, it's busted.

Hmm.

[sniffs] Hmm.

Hmm!

Nope. Never seen
anything like it.

Well, it was worth a sh*t.

Anne, I promise...

We're gonna find a way
to get you home.

Thanks, Sprig.
That means a lot to me.

[yawns]

Well, that's enough
excitement for me today.

I think
I'm gonna turn in.

- Good night.
- Good night, Hop Pop.

[gasps] It's just as I feared.

[♪♪]