01x19 - The Mystery of Dr. Cutter; The Partymobile That Invaded Earth

[bunniefuu]

♪ MVA ♪
♪ MVA ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ It's us vs. them ♪

♪ Foe vs. friend ♪

♪ Brain vs. B.O.B. ♪

♪ It's a super-freaky job ♪

Oh, yeah, it's freaky.

♪ MVA ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪
[cackles]

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ MVA ♪


And so, Stacy Spyglass
tiptoed down the secret staircase,

unaware of the danger lurking below...

[B.O.B. whimpering]

It was the ghostly phantom!

Aah! Aah!

Luckily, Stacy's pet
sidekick, Constable Quackley,

sprung a trap!
But the mystery wasn't over yet.

For the phantom's true identity was...

the old sea captain!

♪ Dun dun dah! ♪

- Jaw... drop.
- Yeah! Quite the twist.

Still... dropping.

Attention, team Alien
and team Monster leaders.

Report to the hangar,
double-time and ASAP!

Sorry, B.O.B., looks like you're
on your own for story time.

[jaw flapping]

Oh! What an ending.

I should have known the
sea captain was evil.

He had an eye patch and everything...
oh!

Welcome to Area
Fifty-something, Doctor.

Allow me to introduce Susan Murphy,
AKA Ginormica.

- Hey, I...
- Eye!

I... I? I...
am so happy to meet you.

Right back at ya,
with a heaping side of...

gee-wolly-wow!

That's a lot of
quantonium you're packing.

Um... thanks?

Susan, meet Dr. Cutter,

Uncle Sam's head of
research and development!

I prefer "nourisher of
now and future doodads."

So, less mad scientist...

And more glad scientist!
[giggling]

I don't usually allow
this level of perky on base,

but the Doc here's a top-level
U.S. of a R&D I.T. VIP!

- Or is she...
- Oh...

Hello, you... aaaaah!

Both: B.O.B.!

Remove your mask, evildoer!
I see through your eye patch!

Unhand my VIP!

- Aah!
- B.O.B., stop!

[B.O.B. screaming]
Sorry I'm late.

Working up the effort
to care took some...

[groans]

[exhales]
Sorry, General.

B.O.B. gets a little too
into his mystery books.

It was the Doctor and the butler!

♪ Dun dun dun! ♪

He's going to be too
"into" solitary confinement

if you don't keep him
away from Dr. Cutter!

[grunting, muttering]

Oh, my!
Do you feel any brain pain?

[gasps] Ohh...

[harp playing]

You know, I don't usually
say this to Earth ladies,

but...
[squishy, flirty growl]

[romantic music]

Aha!

This is just like Stacy Spyglass
and the missing diamond sneakers.

Dr. Eye patch is an evildoer,
and I'm gonna prove it!

No!
This is nothing like your books!

Let's see... spyglass, gumshoes,
waffles in a sock... good to go!

Um... How 'bout you look for clues
someplace she'll never suspect?

You know, someplace far
away from Dr. Cutter?

Oh, like in her room?
Great idea, Constable Quackley!

[giggles]

B.O.B., this isn't what I meant!
We can't be here!

And really, I'm the duck?

Shh! Inside quacks only!
We're sneaking!

Remember, if you find a big clue,

you're supposed to say, "clue-reka!"

Nope.

Nope. Nope.

- Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
- B.O.B., stop!

[crash]

Mm... nope!

Aah!

Why does Dr. Cutter have a giant robot?

[gasps]
Put everything back!

Just a moment, Mr. Clumsy head.

I won't feel right starting my work
until I know you're unharmed.

Oh, you can check out
this body all day long.

[squishy, flirty growl]

[Susan gags]

Now, relax and let
Dr. Cutter flex your cortex

and massage that medulla.
[shudders, moans]

Dear Doctor, between the lobes?

How deliciously forward of you.

[Susan gagging]

Aah!

Brain pain! So much...

- Good golly!
- Brain pain!

This mystery is even more
suspicious-ier than I thought!

B.O.B., there's nothing
suspicious about Dr. Cutter.

I mean, she likes Coverton,
which is weird, but I'm

sure there's some totally
innocent reason for the robot.

Oh, silly Quackley!
Ha ha ha!

Your tiny duck brain can't
unravel big mysteries.

This is just like the
curse of the mummy's goatee,

and Stacy solved that case by getting
a hair sample from the villain.

B.O.B., you know you're not allowed

- to play with scissors!
- Oh, I know.

That's why I'm gonna blast off
a hair sample with a plasma cannon.

What?
No! No! Aah!

[overlapping yelling,
Susan screaming]

Sorry!

[all screaming]

Hey, wash your hands!
[toilet flushes]

[laser blast]
Aah! I wasn't finished!

[Susan screaming, laser f*ring]

Your brain scans are
a holiday basket of wow!

Mm.
You see the size of that medulla?

All Cove-man.
[chortles]

Oh, look, now I'm lifting weights.

It's so easy, sometimes
I can't even tell.

Oh, look, I'm juggling.
Is there nothing my brain can't do?

Ooh... ow!

Whoops. Oh, pardon me.
I have to cover this up.

Henry never hurt nobody.
Why?

[exhales]
Too... close.

As always, Monger is...
[sing-song] clueless!

Truly, the good General is
such a delight to deceive.

- She's fooling Monger?
- Called it!

B.O.B., I'm not saying you're right,

but we need to find out
who she was talking to.

Oh! Stacy always uses a
disguise for this kind of thing,

and I've got one!

Hey girl!

My name's Boberta, and I'm
from Area Fifty-something high!

Gooo, fish!

Well, aren't we a
dazzling display of insanity?

Ready? Okay!
This is my cheer!

It's over here!
Right over here!

Not behind your back!
O-M-G!

That spells OMGuh!
Nothing rhymes with OMGuh!

Except for fromguh!
I'm running out of words!

Bananas are friendly!
Kangaroo pants!

[gasps]

And then Brandon was like,
"I heard you texted Chad!"

And I was all like,
"From who? T.M.I. Tina?

She just likes the attention!"

You don't have a brain.
So I'm not interested. Toodles!

B.O.B., Dr. Cutter's
planning to att*ck Monger!

That's what the giant robot is for!

♪ Dun dun dun! ♪

Stop! It's a trap!
[grunts]

[elongated] Nooo!

Why's B.O.B. acting slo-mo?

General, Dr. Cutter's evil!
She's attacking you!

Whoa, doggy!
Now, that's what papa likes!

[grunting]

And you're really
enjoying it... a lot.

- Whoo-hoo!
- Too much!

It's just a little upgrade
to Monger's sparring bot.

No big deal...
even though it kinda was.

So... it's a gift?

Aw, thanks, Doc.
Mighty thoughtful.

Then how does she
explain secret phone call

in the hall?
Totes ominous and spooky?

[beep] Truly, the good General
is such a delight to deceive.

[giggles]

A daily journal nourishes
the mind and the soul.

- [thud] Ha ha!
- Oh! Well...

then, I guess I accused you of
being all evil-y for nothing.

Or did I?

- Gah!
- Nope! Still your face.

Back, human, back.
That's a very, very bad human.

[thud]
Sorry, Doc.

Susan's been reading too
many mystery books lately.

Yay! We solved it!

Good job, Quackley!
Have some quackers!

- No, B.O.B., we didn't solve anything!
- Really? Huh.

Well, this is probably
one of those things

I'd understand if I had a brain.

- Brain?
- Whoosh!

- Do you feel any brain pain?
- Whoosh!

Now relax, and let Dr. Cutter

flex your cortex and
massage that medulla.

- Whoosh!
- Your brain scans

are a holiday basket of wow!

Whoosh!

Whoosh!
Whoosh!

- Whoosh!
- Clue-reka!

She's really after Coverton!

Uh, dear Doctress.

I am unfamiliar with this
Earth courtship custom,

- but, you know... game.
- Everything is in its happy place.

Back away, Doc.

- The alien stays.
- Hello?

Biggest third wheel in history!

Dr. Cutter wants to steal you.
That's why she's really here!

The robot's crate wasn't just a crate.

It was a prison...
for you, Coverton!

Pfft. Steal me. Lies!

- Nope. She nailed it.
- Say what?

Your alien brain will help
me unlock the secrets of...

say it with me now...
telekinesis!

- Ooh! Ahh!
- Well, that's not so bad.

Who's up for some...
[sing-song] cranial extraction?

[saw buzzing]

Aah! Ooh!

Aah! Oh, jeez!
[laser ricocheting]

Seriously, that's the brain you want?

Oh, no, you've foiled me!
My ruse is ruined! My scheme!

My brilliant... my...
kidding!

[chortles]
You see, Ms. Murphy,

in a real mystery, the
villain always traps the hero.

Oh, well, I'm not the hero.

I'm the duck!
Now, B.O.B.!

Clue-reka!

Ooh!

[crash]

Cutter fail.

So, thought you'd bag
yourself an alien, eh?

Well, you've just won a paid trip
to the shores of court-martial island!

Courtesy of W.R. Monger...
harsh but fair!

That is fair.
And Susan... Susan, right?...

it was truly a treat and
a half to tangle with you!

But I will taste vengeance!

Oh, look, a plane ride.
Fun!

That there lady's nuttier
than a squirrel's breakfast.

- You're welcome, Coverton.
- Please. I would've solved it sooner.

For I am Cove-man, the great brain.

- Or are you?
- Evildoer! [screams]

[munching, slurping]

[prolonged yell]
[crash]

[laughing]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Bobby.
What's going on?

Thing!

See! Come!
[laughing]

Excuse me!

[muzak playing]

[ding]

[B.O.B. laughing]

Ta-da!

Whoa!
I didn't even know we had this hangar.

Okay, so what's underneath the tarp?

[boom]

You think there's
something underneath the tarp?

Oh, wow, yeah, that'd
be even more amazing!

[triumphant music]

Whoa. Is that...

[dramatic music]

Looks like a... flying saucer?

Classic.

[both wailing guitar riff]

Yeah, that means old, right?

Been here I'd say...
, ... years.

Link, I mean, do you think
it still... flying sauces?

- There's only one way to find out.
- Do you still flying sauce?

We're gonna fix the UFO, B.O.B.

- We are going to fix you!
- There you go.

[thrilling music]

[laughs]

Yeah! Ha!

[spray can hissing]

[both wailing guitar riff]

[engine revving]

And we shall call it,
"the U-F-Ohhh, yeah."

Oh, Link, I got that one!
Oh, this feels good!

Mmm... fudgie budgie bars.

None must ever know
of our forbidden love.

[slurping]

[gasps] The Grand Coverlord
has started the invasion without me?

Not yet!
I-I'm not ready!

I just learned about fudgie budgie bars!

[giggling]

We've got one fully
operational flying saucer,

two devil-may-care dudes,
and zero self-discipline.

- What do we do first?
- Play pretend alien invaders?

That... is hi-larious.

We could be all like, "people of Earth,

blah, blah, blah, evil!
Ha ha ha."

- Can we make our own alien costumes?
- How would we not? C'mon!

"Pretend alien invaders"?

Oh, just a big joke, are we?

Simpering imbeciles!

You shall learn just how
funny we aliens can be!

- What are you guys doing?
- Aah!

Oh, hey, Suze!
We're just, uh, bringing donations...

to the hospital for...

- kids who have...
- Clown allergies!

So the "kids" in this "hospital"
are allergic to clowns?

Are you saying they don't
deserve to have fun, Susan?

- No! I...
- That just because

they have a clown allergy,
they should be locked up and forgotten?

- I wasn't...
- Because I, for one,

- cannot be that cruel!
- They're only children, Susan!

Go! Help the children!
Please!

[both wailing guitar riff]

You want to play alien?

Then let's play for keepsies.

Good-bye, communications microphone.

[both laughing]

And good-bye, Mr. Exit Hatch.

[chuckles]

Time to rock this alien invasion.

[rock music]

[gear shifts, engine revs]

[country music playing]

[engines rumbling, people yelling]

[both laughing]

Actual laser.
We should probably label that button.

I'll just hide it under this rock.

[people screaming]

And now we run away.

I abduct your chicken!
Ha ha, evil!

Aah!

You chicken-stealing maniacs!

I swear vengeance on all aliens!

Vengeance!

[phones ringing] Sir! The calls
are coming in from all over.

Get that E.T. on comms!
I wanna know if he's hostile!

Yes, sir! [click]

Alien craft, identify yourself.

Are you hostile?

- Well, buddy, looks like game over.
- Aw...

Hey, guys, it's just us.

Havin' some fun, abductin' some
chicken, you know, doin' like you do.

[garbled voice, static]

- What in the...
- Sqweep? Dr. C?

- Anybody got a translation?
- Nope.

- I am unfamiliar with this dialect.
- It can't be!

[garbled voice continues]

That's the language of the Brocktoon!

A little-known but extremely
warlike race that Sqweep

would never have heard of but
I happen to know very well!

- I have never heard of the Brocktoon.
- You see?! Oh, I only hope

they don't have a guitar-playing
wizard and dancing leprechauns

painted on the side of their ship.

Affirmative. Plus what witnesses
are calling, I quote... [click]

"a bear on a skateboard."

Aah!
That's the worst of the lot!

I can't imagine what they would want,

but, oh, why not?
I'll translate for you.

And you know, okay,
sure, maybe we pushed it...

[garbled voice continues]
"We are the ruin of your planet.

We will burn your cities
and eat your house pets."

[all gasp]

Scramble everything we've got!
I want that ufo D.O.A. ASAP, okay?

LOL.
[chuckling]

I guess maybe there's
something missing in my life,

and I try to fill it
with hijinks and mayhem.

Hey, Link, I'm trying to remember.
Missiles are the bad ones, right?

Just in the middle of something.

Was I a child?
What... wait a minute, what?

Whoa!

[explosions]

- What the heck is going on?
- A lotta sh**ting. You're yelling...

But we told them it's us!
Put me on external loudspeaker.

Hey, everybody!

[garbled voice]

Ohh! The things they're
saying about your mother!

I-I-I can't even repeat them!

Fire everything!
For my mama!

It is Link and B.O.B.
We are not... wait a minute.

Whoa!

The microphone is broken!
They think we're real aliens!

That's crazy!

How could they not even
notice we're not there?

Where are Link and B.O.B.?

- Visiting kids with clown allergies.
- Good on them.

[shouts]

We have to find some other
way to show them it's us!

B.O.B., move to the porthole!

- I'm gonna give them a visual!
- Got it!

- It's the window.
- Got it!

[camera snaps]

They're more hideous than I imagined!

- Lose the costume!
- I'm wearing a costume?

Forget it!
We have to abandon ship!

[gear whirring]

- Stupid hatch! Unstick!
- Ugh!

Maybe we should
ask the pilot to help.

There is no pilot, B.O.B.
I'm flying the...

[engine whining]

[both screaming]

My tanks! [sniffling]
I love my tanks!

Take no prisoners!
Spare no weapons! Show no mercy!

General Monger! If we abduct
him, we can explain everything.

Everything?

Okay. But you cover
where babies come from,

because I do not get how that works.

The menace must be
brought down, no matter what!

General, look out!

Oh, dear.
Disregard all previous statements

on showing no merc... oof!

Aww, Coverton!
I was trying to get Monger!

They've abducted Coverton!
Everyone, hold your fire!

No! Coverton was right.

We must bring the enemy
down, no matter what!

It is what he would have wanted!

[battle cry]
Aaaah Staaa'aaabi!

You have lasers.
Use them, for glurm's sake!

[gasps] Broverton!
Those are our friends!

No, B.O.B., he's right.
They've left us no choice.

Arming lasers...

[men yelling]

Aah!

You wanna cha-cha, little green men?

All units, concentrate
simultaneous fire on three!

- One... Two...
- No, wait! Look!

- Link and B.O.B.?
- "Please stop sh**ting us."

[sighs] I guess.
Stand down, soldiers!

- Aw...
- Oh...

Don't worry, everybody.

The kids are all safe
from clown allergies.

Because we totally made that up.

- Oh, Boy.
- Link! B.O.B.!

You two jokers are gonna be
scrubbing so many latrines,

you'll think you got married
and had toilet babies!

That is the weirdest and most
terrifying thr*at I've ever heard.

And let that be a lesson to you:
never try to play alien!

Leave that to me, the alien!

- Alien!
- What the... Ow!