04x01 - Paws and Effect/The Trouble with Teddy

[bunniefuu]

verage dog♪

♪She went... and... and... ♪
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre... ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say ♪

♪ Now she speaks... ♪

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks, yeah,
she speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks
and speaks... ♪

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. ♪

Hi, there!

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique... ♪

Testing, one, two!

♪ Hear her speak ♪

♪ Martha speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks
and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates ♪

♪ Elucidates, exaggerates ♪

♪ Indicates and explicates ♪

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ ...hyperventilates! ♪

♪ Martha, to reiterate ♪

Martha speaks!
♪ Martha speaks. ♪

(mouth full):
Oh.

Hello! Today's show is all about
the environment.

You'll hear words like "litter,"
"debris," and "recycling."

HELEN:
Martha!

I can't believe you're
ingesting that rotten food.

It's pizza, not poison.

Where are you going?

To run a bath.

Watch for today's words

while I try to escape
this hazardous situation.

(Skits barks)

MARTHA:
Throw it here!

Throw it to me!

Ready...

Tabby!

(hisses)

Back in a flash!

Martha!

MARTHA:
Tabby, tabby, tabby!

MARTHA:
After it!

(Skits barks)

(broken glass crackling)

(Martha yelps in pain)

That's Martha!

How long is it going to take,
anyway?

She didn't say.

You guys,
what happened?

Martha hurt her paw.

How?

She cut it on some glass.

The vet is giving her stitches.

Oh no! Poor Martha.

How did it happen?

We were in the park...

(Martha yelps in pain)

Martha!

Ow! My paw.

Martha!

Stand back!

Stay calm,
Martha.

Keep your weight
off of it.

(shouts):
Someone call !

I'm going to need a tourniquet.

(grunts)

This'll have to do.

What happened?

She injured her foot in that
trash someone discarded.

Discarded?

Discard means to throw
something away.

And in this case
they weren't very careful

about how they discarded
their garbage.

She was very lucky.

One more inch and it could
have been much, much worse.

How are you
doing, Martha?

(weakly):
Okay, I think.

Atta girl.

Hang in there.

This should stop
the flow of blood.

Helen, put a
finger on this.

Helen!
Snap out of it.

Give me
a hand here.

Oh! Sorry, sorry...

It's okay,
Martha.

You're going
to be just fine.

(echoing):
...just fine... just fine...

Wow, that's amazing.

HELEN:
It's strange,

that's not the way
I remember it.

Well, you know, it all
went by pretty quick.

How do you remember it, Helen?

Well, I heard Martha yell and...

(Martha yelps in pain)

HELEN:
Martha!

I think I hurt my paw.

Blood!

TD?

That sounds much
more likely.

Okay, so there were a
couple teeny differences.

It was a life-or-death
situation.

It's not like I had time
to take out a pen

and write down every
little detail.

The main thing is that
we got Martha here

and it looks like
she'll be okay.

That just makes
me so mad

that someone could be so
careless with their trash

to hurt an innocent dog
with their hazardous junk.

Are you sure I didn't
at least stop her bleeding?

Sorry, TD.

We should do something
to stop this

before other innocent animals
get injured.

You're right.

Didn't I at least make a
tourniquet out of my shirt?

TD, you're wearing your shirt.

Oh. Right.

VET:
All better.

Martha!

Okay, I'm fine.

Now get me out of here.

Whoa.

She's going to be
a little woozy
for a while.

Who turned the room sideways?

MARTHA:
You don't have something
in an argyle?

HELEN:
The vet said to put a
sock over the bandage

to keep you from
chewing on it.

I can keep
from chewing.

ALICE:
It really isn't fair

animals should get injured
because people litter.

When people litter,

that means they just throw
their garbage on the ground.

You say "people,"
but somehow I still think

it was that tabby cat's fault.

(Skits barks in agreement)

In fact it's even
worse for animals

because they can't
do anything about it.

This will not stand.

It's not just bad
for the environment,

it's hazardous for dogs
and other animals.

(yells):
This littering must stop!

(thunder booms)

Whoa.

Do you think that's possible?

I do.

I'm trying to come up with an
idea that will do just that.

TD?

What?

Around you,
on the floor?

Don't worry,
they're bad ideas.

They're litter!

You're littering.

Yeah, okay, but, I'm doing
important stuff here.

I'm helping the environment.

Kid power!

I'll get to it.

(groans)

Time for action.

Mom, it's Alice.

Someone's been littering
and Martha's been hurt.

I'm not coming home
until I figure out

how to stop people
from being so careless.

(chatter from phone)

Okay.

Bye, Alice.

I'll be back tomorrow.

TD:
Me too.

And by then, I'll have
a great plan.

We'll have litter licked.

Maybe you should start
with the living room first.

Oh, right.

Martha!

What?

It itches.

RONALD:
But you were supposed
to catch today.

I need to practice
pitching.

Tryouts are
next week.

But Martha injured her paw.

So?

It's because someone littered,
Ronald.

How would you feel if Nelson
got some broken glass

in his paw?

Don't even say that.

It would be horrible if
anyone hurt poor Nelson.

See?

I'll see you later.

Wait up, I'll get my stuff.

Huh?

You're going to need help.

This is too important to leave
to a bunch of little kids.

(groans)

(grunting)

Itchy, itchy, itchy.

Can you pull the sock
off and scratch it?

(barks)

Okay, yeah, I know the vet said,
but...

(barks)

Skits, I need your help.

Do you really think it's fair
I have to sit here itching,

while that stinking
cat that lured us

into that hazardous mess
gets to run around loose?

(barks)

You're right,
it's not fair.

So what are
we going to do?

(barks)

No, don't get the cat,
scratch my paw!

(sighs)

Ronald, I'm sure we can
handle this ourselves.

Are you kidding?

The environment
is important.

You need someone
with brains in charge.

Ow.

(giggles)

It's not funny.

I was thinking
about this all night.

What if we all went to the park
and cleaned up the trash?

Set a good example,
you mean?

Yeah!

No, no, no
and no.

Whoever made the mess
should clean it up.

And they won't until they learn
not to be so thoughtless.

Thoughtless?
You mean dumb?

No.

Thoughtless means
selfish and careless.

People who are thoughtless
don't think about anybody

but themselves.

Well, I didn't do it.

I guess we'll just have
to take your word for that.

(ball crashes)

(giggles)

Meantime we need teamwork.

We have to come up
with a plan

to show people
how important it is

to be thoughtful
instead of careless.

What if...
!
Unh, unh, unh...

I'm thinking.

Maybe...
!
Shh!

RONALD:
This is going to take
some serious thought

and I need
absolute quiet.

Got it?
Absolute quiet.

♪ I went down South
to see my Sal ♪

♪ Sing polly wolly
doodle all the day ♪

Ronald...

Shh, this is
how I think.

Now, where was I?
Oh yeah...

♪ Fare thee well,
fare thee well ♪

♪ Fare thee well
my fairy day... ♪

(barks)
(meows)

Hey, I know!

We should make signs
telling people to recycle.

Something like,

"Hey, you! Don't throw your
trash here-- or else!"

Um, that sounds
kind of bossy.

(whirring noise)

Martha!

Where did you get
dad's shoe polisher?

Well...

(TD whistles guiltily)

HELEN:
TD!

It itches like crazy.

He was helping me.

(sighs)

Why do you have a sock
over your hand?

Solidarity.

I figure if pets have to bear
the burden of our littering,

we should too.

Okay...

Wait a minute.

Everyone hold still.

Wait for it...

Uh-huh,
idea forming...

Yes!

Oh, this is going to be good.

(cat meows, Skits barks)

(barks)

(meows)

(barks)

(meows)

(barks)

Ta-da.

Ladies and ladies,

meet GLOG,

the Giant Landslide Of Garbage.

One day there will be so much
stuff that people throw away

that garbage will begin
to compact and change.

It will gather into its own

artificial intelligence
life form--

a giant blob of GLOG.

At first people will be happy

because they don't have to
worry about littering anymore.

GLOG will clean it up for them.

"I have come for your debris."

"What's debris?"

"Debris is trash that's usually
broken stuff lying around."

"Come and get it!"

"Glorp!"

"Glorp!"

"Yay, GLOG!"

(burps)

But then, GLOG becomes
hungrier and hungrier

and starts gathering stuff that
isn't debris or garbage at all.

And then finally, GLOG will
come after the people.

"Help! Save me!"

"Glorp!"

How will it all end?

What do you think?

RONALD:
I don't like it.

ALICE:
Ronald!

Is the song
over already?

You guys shouldn't have
tried to start without me.

You just wasted
a lot of time.

Well, at least
TD had an idea.

Yeah? I think I know why.

How come you know so much
about litter and debris, huh?

ALICE:
Knock it off,
Ronald.

What? Protecting
your friend?

Ronald, it's not
important who did it,

just that we keep it
from happening again.

Yeah, I'm sure I littered before
I knew it could itch so much.

(Skits barks wearily)

HELEN:
What is it,
Skits?

(barks excitedly)

Skits says he found out
who left the broken glass.

You're going
to listen to a dog?

(barks)

According to that
stinking tabby cat

that hangs out in the park,
it happened two nights ago.

(Skits barks)

MARTHA:
Someone set up bottles
on the wall.

TD:
And...

MARTHA:
And...

ALICE:
Someone broke bottles
to practice pitching?

What?

Why is everyone
staring?

Where were you two
nights ago, Ronald?

Well, er...

that is...

(laughs nervously)

Maybe you guys
are right.

It's not so important
who made the mess

as much as inspiring people
to be less thoughtless.

People just need
to understand

how a little litter
can lead to a lot worse.

Martha!

It itches!

Hey, check out this song!

(reggae music plays)

HELEN:
♪ This is trash ♪

♪ You throw it away ♪

MARTHA:
♪ There's piles and piles
of it every day ♪

HELEN:
♪ It's runny and smelly
and full of debris ♪

MARTHA:
♪ And it comes from you and me ♪

HELEN:
♪ It's stinky,
worse than you think-y ♪

♪ It's gloppy
and kind of sloppy ♪

♪ It's gooey ♪

Ugh, on your shoe-y.

♪ And it comes from you and me ♪

♪ So don't be thoughtless
with your litter, friend ♪

♪ Put all your trash
in a garbage bin ♪

MARTHA:
♪ And I will take it
back out again ♪

Whoa!
(crash)

HELEN:
♪ If you dig in trash
I threw away ♪

♪ You'll need another
bath today ♪

Aww...

(whimpering)

I'm not sure
what the problem is.

Will he need
an X-ray?

No. But I do need
to call in an expert,

the only one in the world

who can help in a situation
like this.

Really? Who?

You called?

Yes.

Thanks for coming
so quickly.

This is
the expert?

Yuh-huh.

It's just that dog
that digs all the time.

Now, let's not bring up
ancient history.

Oh, hi, Teddy.

What's wrong with you?

(barks and whimpers)

He doesn't know.

My guess is, he has ingested
something that's made him sick.

Ingested?!

Ooh... ingested?!

Oh, no!

Not ingested!

What's "ingested"?

"Ingested" is a fancy way
of saying

he ate or drank something.

Oh, ate or drank.

(giggles with relief)

(whimpering)

Oh. He says he hasn't
eaten anything weird.

Are you sure?

(whimpering)

Well, even things
that are safe to eat

can make you sick if you eat
too much of them.

And dogs eat things
they shouldn't:

discarded food
that's rotten or spoiled or...

Food that
isn't food.

That's not usually
a problem for me.

I once ingested a rug.

You sure you didn't
eat a rug?

(whimpers weakly)

Or half a shoe?

Could you go to Teddy's
and find out what he ate?

Oh, sure.
How hard can it be?

It's going to be impossible.

Why?

You're good
at figuring things out.

Yeah. You found out
what Butterscotch ate

and he only talked
puppy talk.

Yeah. But this is Teddy.

Teddy is, well...

Here, Teddy! Catch!

MARTHA:
He can't catch.

Doors confuse him.

(barking)

He doesn't like water.

Any water--
even raindrops.

What I'm saying is

Teddy is not the
smartest dog in the pack.

ALL:
Hmm...

Did you try just
asking him about it?

Yuh-huh.

And...?
He said he didn't eat
anything weird.

Would he even know?

I mean, remember when
Alice dog-sat Teddy?

Huh? What?!

(Teddy snarling)
Whoa!

He ate the couch!

Your mother's going
to freak.

What counts as weird food
to a dog that eats living rooms?

Well, at least a couch
isn't anything hazardous.

Hazardous?

Is that another kind
of furniture?

No. "Hazardous" means

something that could be bad
for you or dangerous.

Hazardous, huh?

That's possible.

Remember when Teddy ate
Jake's diap...

No! Don't say it!

It's too gross
to even think about.

I only brought it up

because it seemed like it
could have been hazardous.

You guys!

This is serious.

What if Teddy ate
something poisonous?

Ooh, poisonous?

You mean, poisonous like he ate
something so bad for him,

he could be
really, really sick?

That kind of poisonous?

Mm-hmm.

Well, what are
we waiting for?

Skits, we've got to
find out what Teddy ate,

and we've got
to find out now!

Okay, Skits,
you know the drill.

Let's call out the noses.

(barking, then howling)

(Skits howling)

(pug yipping)

(dance music playing
on boom box)

(Skits howling)

(barks)

(Skits howling)

(François yipping excitedly)

(Skits howling)

(barking)

(Skits howling)

(barking)

MARTHA:
We have a very serious
situation here.

Teddy has eaten something
that's made him sick.

It's up to us to find out what.

It might have been just
a rotten egg or spoiled meat,

but I'm worried it was
something poisonous.

(dogs bark in alarm)

It's up to us to find out
what it was.

So, dogs?

Start your sniffers.

(all sniffing)

(barks)

(barking)

Look again.

There's got to be
something here.

(Rinty barks)
What's that, Rinty?

You say maybe we're looking
at this all wrong?

(barking)

Yeah...

Really?

I never thought of that.

HELEN:
What did he say?

Rinty says sometimes
a dog eats dangerous things

without knowing
that he's eaten them.

Huh?
Huh?

Rinty walked

through someone else's
yard once.

The grass had been sprayed
with a pesticide.

A pesticide is something
that kills bugs.

It can be really
poisonous stuff.

But Rinty didn't know

he'd walked through
anything dangerous.

It didn't smell rotten
or spoiled.

He didn't know he'd been
around anything bad at all

until he licked his paws.

Rinty ingested poison.

Luckily, his people got him
to the vet's in time.

You think that
happened to Teddy?

That he walked through pesticide
without knowing it?

It can't be that.

Teddy hasn't been
out of the yard,

and we don't use pesticides.

They're not safe
with pets around.

(excited yipping)

What's that?

You say you once got sick

from the pesticide
in your flea collar?

(yipping)

(retches)

Gross!
Gross!

That's happened
to Teddy before.

That's why he doesn't
wear a flea collar.

Whatever he ate, I can feel it
when I press on his stomach.

It's hard and round.

Okay.

Whatever Teddy ate
wasn't poison,

but it was irritating.

Think.

What's something irritating?

(barks)

Well, yes, Leon.

Cats are very irritating.

But I don't think
Teddy ate one.

Or did he?

(chuckling)

(smacking his lips)

(yipping)

(panting)

(barking)

Oh, you're right, Skits.

It can't be a cat.

Teddy likes cats.

Other ideas?

Come on, everybody, think.

What are weird, irritating
things you've eaten?

(yips)

A purse strap?

There aren't any
purse straps out here.

(yipping excitedly)

What did he say?

He says that's probably
because Teddy ate them.

No. Whatever he ingested
was hard and round.

(barks)

Chicken bones?

Uh-uh, we're
very careful

with discarded chicken bones

because they're so dangerous.

They can splinter
and choke dogs.

Besides, they're not round
and hard either.

Ooh! Ooh!

Roly-polies?

Beg your pardon?

Roly-polies.

They're those bugs
with lots of legs,

and when you poke them,

they roll up
into a little ball.

You ate roly-poly bugs?!

I was a little kid.

Gross.

I didn't know
any better.

Oh, dogs eat lots of bugs
with no problems.

Ooh! Ooh! I know.

It was squirrels!

You think Teddy
ate a squirrel?

No. The squirrels
made Teddy sick.

They got tired of dogs chasing
them all the time, see?

So the king squirrel called all
the other squirrels together.

(blows whistle)

The king squirrel said
Teddy was

the biggest dog around.

(chirruping in fear)

He figured if the squirrels
could stop Teddy,

all the dogs would be
too frightened

to chase squirrels anymore.

(power saw buzzes)

So he had the squirrels build
a Trojan bone.

What's a Trojan bone?

You've heard of the
Trojan horse, right?

Uh, y... no.

HELEN:
It's this giant wooden horse

that the Greeks built.

All these soldiers hid
inside it.

TD:
Right. And they rolled it
up to the Trojans' gate

and the Trojans all went,
"Hey, look! Free horse!"

And they rolled it
inside their fort.

And when they did,
all the Greeks jumped out.

(yelling):
Yah!

Oh.

So...

So the squirrels

made a giant bone,

and they all hid inside it.

They lowered the Trojan bone
into Teddy's yard.

Teddy woke up and saw
the giant bone.

He went to take a bite
out of it, but just then...

all the squirrels
jumped out!

But then they realized

they were still
just squirrels.

So they ran away.

That's it?

That's your theory?

No. When the bone
didn't work,

they gave Teddy a grape.

A grape?

Yeah.

My friend Aya told me

his dog Cally ate a grape once
and he almost d*ed.

Grapes are bad for dogs.

Hmm, but there are grapes
on the kitchen table.

Why couldn't Teddy have just
eaten one himself?

Why did a squirrel have
to feed it to him?

'Cause... it makes
a better story?

(groans)

Grapes aren't hard, though.

Not after you eat them,
at least.

Look. Whatever Teddy ate, it's
right here under our noses.

Ow!

Gotcha!

Doctor!

Teddy was telling the truth.

He didn't eat
anything unusual.

He ate something that
can be found everywhere.

He just doesn't want
to admit it.

(whimpering)

Oh, you ate something,
all right.

But it wasn't a poison or a
pesticide or rotten or spoiled.

And I know, because I've looked
all around your yard.

(whimpers)

I know you ate something.

And I know it was
something pretty silly.

Something you'd be embarrassed
for me or anyone else

to know about.

It's hard, it's round,

and if I didn't know better,
I'd say you ate a rock.

(groans)

I don't understand.

Why would Teddy eat a rock?

He says "Was hungry."

Teddy's always hungry.

And Tim and Mary
were busy working.

(whimpering)

In a minute, Teddy.

MARTHA:
He thought they'd never stop.

And there were these rocks
all over the ground.

So Teddy thought,
why not try one?

(Skits laughing)

Yeah. I laughed, too.

But Teddy said
as far as he knew,

no one had ever eaten
a rock before.

For all we know,
it might taste like chicken.

(questioning bark)

Does it?
Taste like chicken?

He said no.

It tasted like a rock.

The vet says
she got the rock.

Teddy is going
to be fine!

(everyone cheers)

Oh, that's great!

What? What is it?

I can keep poisons and
pesticides away from Teddy,

but how am I going
to keep away all the rocks?

Aw, don't worry.

I think Teddy's
learned his lesson.

Really?

But just in case,
maybe you should carry

a large supply of dog biscuits.

Thanks, Martha.

You're very welcome.

If you love your pet,
keep their environment safe.

An environment is the place
where people or animals live.

The kitchen environment
can be very dangerous.

Coffee, chocolate,
onions and garlic

are just some of the foods
poisonous to dogs and cats.

Keep cleaning supplies out of
your pets' environment, too.

If you see this,
it means poisonous.

Antifreeze-- the blue stuff
people put in cars?

It's the worst!

It's very poisonous!

It's deadly.

And irresistible.

Pets will eat it.

To us, it tastes like sugar.

So have the adults in your home
keep antifreeze--

and all other poisons--
out of reach.

It makes a safe environment
for kids and for pets.

Hold still.

Oh, hi.

Did you catch all of today's
environmental words?

Let's recycle
and watch them again.

"Ingested" is
a fancy way of saying

he ate or drank something.

Debris is trash that's usually
broken stuff lying around.

"Hazardous" means

something that could be bad
for you or dangerous.

An environment is the place
where people or animals live.

See you next time.

Maybe by then,
my dog won't smell so gross.

To dig up some more fun words
♪ Who's that dog? ♪

♪ Who's
that dog? ♪

♪ Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. ♪

Catch!

My name is Allison,
and I read to Rugby.

Rugby is a reading partner.

"Martha's family had a wonderful
party trick."

Rugby listens to me
reading to him.

When Rugby comes to the school,
he kisses me.

Today we're going to read
Martha Walks the Dog.

"As usual, her pals
were scratching,

sniffing or snoozing."

It's fun for a kid to do this

because they have a big ball
of personality

listening to them read.

"Bop! Bop! Bop! Bop!"

If you have trouble reading,
a dog will pay attention.

A dog won't say you're bad
at reading.

They just roll with it.

You can count on dogs.

I like reading to Rugby
because it's really fun.

♪ He's that dog... ♪
♪ Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. ♪