03x08 - Hollywood Hop Pop/If You Give a Frog a Cookie

[bunniefuu]

[car honks]

[frogs croaking]

Welcome to Hollywood.
Wow!

Impressive, right, HP?

Why, it's almost as if
your world actually
respects actors.

Respects them? Ha!

Around here
people worship actors
as gods.

[crowd cheering]

If only that were me.

I know my acting career
didn't really pan out,

but maybe
I'd have a sh*t
in this world.

Possibly.
But Mr. X is after us,
and he's seen you,

so we need to keep
a low profile.

[both]
He's gone.
He's what?

Hollywood,
here I come!

[Hop Pop laughing]
[grunts, sighs]

You know what?
I do not have the energy
for this.

[laughing]
Hey!

[grunts]

Ooh.

Ah!
[grunts]

Oh, I am so sorry.

Ah, don't worry about it.

Happens a lot at these
old fogy auditions.

What?
Auditions?

Are you all actors?

Guilty as charged.

Still waiting
for my big break,
though.

Humphrey Westwood,
nice to meet ya.

You an actor too?

Oh, it's only my
singular passion.

I'm Hopediah Plantar.

Say, I thought I knew
all the senior male actors
around here.

You from out of town?

Yep, way out of town.

What, like Sacramento,
or--

Okay, are you
Humphrey Westwood?

Me? No.

Why? Do we look alike?

[gasps] Hopediah,
you should audition.

Go ahead.
Take my spot
in line.

Oh, no, no.
I couldn't.

Nonsense.
This town can be
harsh on newcomers.

So consider this
a welcome to Hollywood
from me to you.

Well, if you insist.

Whoa!

All right.
I'll set the scene
for ya.

You got this
elbow cream, right?

You put it on.
You feel like brand new.

You're so surprised,
you say...

Ooh! Wow! Great!

Hmm, no.
Not feeling it.

Such a shame too
because everything else
about you is literally perfect.

Say what?

[echoing]

[gasps]

That is
the most beautiful thing
I've ever heard.

Everyone, we've got
a new catchphrase.

Huh? Ooh.
[people cheering]

Yep, can't see a thing.

Hollywood?
More like Pollywood!

Hmm?
There's Hop Pop.

And it looks like
he didn't even
cause any trouble.

Hop Pop? Whoa, sorry.
You look just like
someone I know.

All right, this guy
got the part.

Everyone else can go home.

What the--
Wow!

Way to go, HP.
Whoa!

Are you kidding?

Hey!
Congratulations,
Hopediah.

Humphrey, wait.

I just realized,
I took your spot.

Heck,
I might've just stolen
your opportunity.

Ah, pishposh.
It was one in a mil
either way.

I'm just happy it went
to a nice guy.

Plus,
I've already waited
45 years for a break.

What's a few more?

Forty-five years?

I know the feeling,
Humphrey.

[sighs]
I still don't think
this is a good idea.

But as long as it's
for something small
that no one sees,

maybe it'll
be harmless.

Do your elbows cr*ck
when you bend them?

[cracking]

[advertiser]
Try Cracka-Lackin' elbow cream.

Hop Pop!

Whoa!

[advertiser]
But wait, there's more.

Say what?
Say what?

Whoa, Hop Pop!

You're on TV!

How did I get inside
the picture box?

And why am I saying lines
from that play
I did yesterday?

Bad news, guys.
It's on every channel.

Hop Pop,
that wasn't a play.

They were filming you
for a commercial.

You lost me,
Anne.

[groans]
This is not low profile.

Oh! Do we live with
somebody famous?

Should we be
charging rent?

[grunts] What if Mr. X
sees one of these?

Who?
Um, the secret agent
who wants to catch us.

Anne, he's a busy
federal employee.

I'm sure he
doesn't have time
for TV.

[croaks]

Just because I'm
a federal employee

doesn't mean I can't enjoy
the odd episode of Judge Julie.

[advertiser] Dry? Crusty?
Now you don't have to be.

Say what?

[shutter clicks]

And they said
I was a fool to not pay
for ad-free streaming.

I still think
this is overkill.

Sorry, but we need
to get the commercials pulled

before this gets
out of contr--
Holy crud!

[Sprig, Polly] Whoa!

[sighs]
Awesome!

Cool.
Terrible.

I can't believe all it took
was getting trapped
in another world

to get my big break.

But am I deserving?

Am I living a dream
that should've gone
to Humphrey?

Am I-- On a T-shirt?

[chuckles]

[both] Ooh!

Whoa!
They have mugs too!

You have a catchphrase?

This would actually
be pretty neat
if it weren't so--

[phone ringing]

Hello?
Hi. This is
Mitch Harbor,

calling for
Hopediah Plantar.

Wait, Mitch Harbor?
The Mitch Harbor?

Director of--
Fumagator I, II,
and IV?

Yep.
Now could I please
speak to--

[screams]
Hopediah Plantar.

It's me. I'm Hopediah.
Not anyone else. Only me.

HP, I love your work!

I want you
to audition for a role
in my latest film.

Say what?

[echoing]

[people gasp]
Did you hear that?

It sounded like
that guy in the commercial.

Whoa,
is it really him?

Meet you at 10:00 a.m.
at your office
in the studio water tower?

Just show up
and I get the part?

Whoa!

Hop Pop, don't even
think about-- [gasps]

I'm sorry, Anne.
This is too big
to pass up.

No, Hop Pop!
Get back here!

[bystander] Hey!
Don't push, man!

[all grunt]

Jenny, he's headed
for the studio lot.

Meet me with reinforcements.

We got him
for real this time.

We've got to get to Hop Pop
before Mr. X does.

Come on.

[beeps]

[chuckles]

[worker grunting]
Wha-- Mm-hmm.

[gasps, grunts]

[grunts]

Oh, no! Hop Pop!

[gasps]
Who the heck
are you people?

No questions,
Earth man!

[screams]

[Sprig] Oh, my frog!
[Anne screams]

[groans]
[grunts]

All right.
Cue the pyrotechnics.

Hey, this is actually
pretty realistic.

[screams]

Holy smokes!

[screams]

[grunting]

Wait! Suspicion Island
is not real?

Doy!
Don't be
so gullible, dude.

[all scream]

Primthistle Manor!

Lord Frankerton.

And Lady Franklin!

What do y'all
think you're doing?

This here's
a closed set.

Wait, your accent
isn't real?

Who's gullible now,
Anne?

[sighs, screams]

[screams]

[gasps, growls]

[screams]

[groaning]

This is it, Hopediah.

After today, you'll be
the biggest frog actor
who ever lived!

Ooh! Oh, I'm so sorry!
I didn't see you there.

Humphrey?

Looks like you found out
my day job, Hopediah.

Where are you off to?

Oh, me? I, uh,
have an audition up there.

With Mitch?
Bravo, my friend, bravo.

Golly, what a break.

I'm so happy for you.

Even if I never make it,
it's enough to know an old fart
like me did.

Now get up there!
Mitch is waiting for you!

[sighs] No, Humphrey.
He is waitin' for you.

Huh?
What are you talking about?

It's only
because of your kindness
that I even had this chance.

And it's high time
I return the favor.

All right, Mr. Plantar,

after hearing you read
those pages,
I'm gonna have to say...

you got the dang part!

There he is! Get him!

[items breaking,
fighting sounds]

No!
They got Hop Pop!

You kids sure about that?

Wait.
Then who did they catch?

[cackles]

Thought you could escape me,
huh?

Ow! Let go of my nose!
Wait, it's-it's not
a false nose? But--

I don't believe this.
You dare treat Hollywood's
newest star this way?

You'll be hearing from
my robust team of lawyers
after this.

No. It can't be!
Not again!
[shivers]

All right, stand down.
Mr. X was wrong again.

[growls]

[car doors slam, engines start]

Jenny,
I'm gonna need some ice cream,
girl. A lot of ice cream.

I don't get it.
You abandoned the audition?

I didn't abandon it.
I just gave it to someone
who's waited as long as I have.

[whispers] Thank you.

I've already had a taste
of the spotlight, kids.

It's time for this old frog
to stop pining after
what he doesn't have

and start seriously protecting
the things he does.

Bravo, Hop Pop. Bravo.

Besides, this whole experience
has taught me that the real
power is behind the camera.

[Anne] Wait. You don't mean--

[Hop Pop] That's right, Anne!
From now on,
I wanna be a director.