03x03 - Right Here, Right Now

[bunniefuu]

♪ Ohhh ohhh ohhh ♪

Okay, people.
It's not a beach party.

Let's go now.

You have
full hospital privileges.

Transplant team's
standing by.

Sarah's sister's inside.
How much time do we have?

She'll go into full
renal failure within 72 hours

without the sister's kidney.

It's not a perfect match,
but the next best thing.

D--oh, hi.
Hi. Come on.

Oh, I don't get my kidney
until I dish?

That's right.

Uh, Seattle grace
is merging with mercy west,

which means half the doctors
in the city are out of a job.

I'm getting a divorce,
which means I'm a single mom.

Stevens has cancer.

Meredith and Derek got married
on a post-it note.

And George O'Malley is dead,
but you knew that already.

Um, I don't sleep much anymore
because I lay awake at night

and wonder
where all the joy is.

During the day,

I realize that the joy
packed its bags and left.

The glasses of the world
are half-empty.
But... you're an attending.

I am an attending.
How are you?

I--
Dr. Bailey.

Ah, this is our chief
of staff, Dr. Charlotte king.

Oh, I appreciate
the professional courtesy.

I hear you have a nice
little hospital here.
We're small but efficient.

You came to the best place
to get the job done...
Mm.

Right this time.

The donor's a single mom
with three small children

and an ex-husband
who likes to hit things.

Jumping on a plane
out of state's not an option.

Otherwise, Seattle grace would
have been the obvious choice,

cutting-edge teaching hospital
and all.

Here at St. ambrose, you'll find
the doctors don't need teaching.

They already know
what they're doing.

Excuse me.

Sorry about that.
She's a little, uh...

I don't have to like her.
I just need her O.R.

Dr. Bailey. Well, well, well.
Look at you.

Why are we looking at me?

No, I just meant that...
I didn't mean...

Hello.

What are we waiting for?
Where's my kidney?

Bailey's here.

Sam's agreed to be
internist to both sisters.

Emily, this is Dr. Bailey.
She'll be performing

the transplant.
I'm ready.

Okay, well, first
we'll take you through

the pre-surgery protocol.
You already have my file.

I was tested as a partial match
three years ago.

Sarah needs my kidney now.
Your sister's stabilized.

If we do this tomorrow,
we should be fine.
Sarah fought to stay alive
for three excruciating years

while you waited
to find a match.

Now somebody screwed up,
and she's dying.

She's done waiting.
I'm done waiting.
Sarah's gone through
a tremendous amount

of physical trauma
in the last 24 hours.

She just got off
an air ambulance.

Her system was fragile
even before she had

the failed organ transplant.

Now, hey, I'm the first
to admit, we made mistakes.

But we will not rush her
into another surgery

before we've got a whole slew
of tests telling us

that she's strong enough
to handle it.

We do this right,
or we don't do it at all.

Yes, i'm... I'm sorry.

It's just...
It's my sister.

Well, I'm going to fix this.

Welcome back.

Oh, thank you, Sheldon.

How are ya?
No, no, not therapeutically.

I mean just as friends.

You know, when someone
comes back to work,

it's a friendly question,
you know, so...

Well, letting that go.

How's the baby?
You found a good nanny?

I gave him to Pete.
What?

I gave the baby to Pete.
To babysit? To--to visit?
To--to what?

To live. To be.

To... I...

Gave him to Pete.
Lucas could be my son.

I know.
He is your son,
and you gave him to Pete?

You gave him to Pete?
It was...
For the best.

It's for the best?
I-I have no words.

There are no words.
Words are not enough!

Sheldon, Sheldon,
this is my first day back.

I am...
Doing the best I can.

Could you just go?

Can you go?

Well, i--
can you just--

'cause it would really help
if you would just...

Luke is living with you?

Shh.
Lucas is trying to sleep.

So...

So Violet just
gave him to you?

What's going on, Pete,
with Violet?

She's working on things.

Don't worry, Sheldon.
Lucas is fine.

Okay. Everything looks good.

Now we're gonna let Teresa
take a blood sample from you.

Uh, my blood type is a-b,
I'm r-h positive,

and I'm a scorpio.

What more do you need
to know?
Probably nothing.

But why don't you let us
do our job

so Dr. Bailey can do hers?
Is she good--Dr. Bailey?

Because after what happened
in Seattle--
Dr. Bailey
is one of the best.

She seems
a little, um... cold.

She's a surgeon.

Uh, you want her to be quick,
decisive, and she's both.

She's good. You have
nothing to worry about.

I have three kids
to worry about.

Uh, Sarah saved us...
All of us.

I married a bad guy,
and I couldn't get out.

I just... watched my life

turn into
this terrible place.

Then Sarah flew in.

She took care of the kids,
stayed with us for six months

and made sure
we were all safe.

My babies don't have a dad.
They don't have grandparents.

They have me
and they have Sarah.

We need her.

You're giving up an organ.
We don't take that lightly.

Okay.

Oh, hey.

You're good with her.

Thanks.
How's the sister?

Oh, she's stable for now.

And you're comfortable
with this match?

It wasn't a good match
three years ago,

but with all the progress
in anti-rejection dr*gs,

we'll make it work.

Hey, it's all we got.

Okay.

How are those
anxiety att*cks?

Asthma.
Right.

It was asthma.

Ryan's driving me crazy.

I keep telling him
that it takes time

to build a new immune system
from scratch, but--

but he's 16, and he's living
in suburban jail.

Not that
it's not beautiful.

My man.

Do you know how many things
you can't do

while your mother
is watching every second?

Yeah, 2,563.

Two years, Coop.
Almost two years in a bubble.

Yeah, with digital cable

and Wi-Fi, dvr, DVD.

There are a lot of people
that would call that heaven.

You want me to grow up
to be a eunuch?

Spill it.
Homecoming, tomorrow.

Kelli's going, I'm not,
and Francis Stokes is.
She'd kiss a guy
named Francis?

Okay, look, you're gonna
get outta here.

It's not like the old days,
when being born

without an immune system
meant you have to stay

in a place like this forever.

You are getting better,

but we gotta be
really careful with scids.

And, you know, I know that this
kissing stuff feels important--
Coop, I know 16
was a long time ago,

but you have a girlfriend.
You have sex.

I have talk and talk.

And talk is starting to get
really... old,

like you.

That's funny. You know, talk can
actually be hard to come by.

I think my girlfriend could
take some lessons from yours.

Ry.

Hey, ry.
How's the bubble boy?

She won't be
my girlfriend for long.

Isn't there something more
you can do to get me outta here?

I feel like I'm in a spa.

When will the waiter come by
with champagne?

Addison... uh, Dr. Bailey.
How are you?
Naomi. Right.

Uh, I thought
you left the practice.
Uh, I did.

Naomi went downstairs
to run a different practice.

I, uh, I tried
to call you, twice.

I know. I'm sorry.
I've just been crazy busy.

I just came up to,
you know, welcome Violet back.

Thought the two of you
were best friends.

We were. We are.
Uh, I just...

Oh, Cooper, Cooper, uh,
this is, uh, Dr. Bailey,

my friend from Seattle.
Oh, hey, wow. Wow.

You're shorter than--
than I thought.

I mean, given what Sam says,
and Addison, about...

That's--it's a compliment.
Um...

I have twins waiting.

Hope he's better with kids
than adults.

Mm.

Oh, Violet.

Our therapist. Dr. Bailey.

Oh, hi.

Well, I...

Wait. So is she the one
you said had the baby

and then...
Yeah.

She's back at work?
Mm-hmm.

Oh, if that
had happened to me,

I'd be spending my time
in a padded room.

Oh, is that the father?

Yeah. Well, one of 'em.
T-There's another one?

It's complicated.
This place
is better than a telenovela.

It's not a telenovela.

Addison?
Dr. Montgomery.

Morgan.
Is everything okay?

What's--what's wrong?
Did you do it?
Did you sleep with my husband?

Uh, ahem.

Morgan, let's, uh--
uh, I k--he says you didn't.

And I-I just want to believe
you didn't,

you being my doctor and all,

but then I found myself
outside your building.

And I knew if I didn't
ask you... tell me.
Morgan, no.

I promise you, nothing like
that ever happened.

He's telling you the truth.

I-I-I believe you.

I'm sorry.

I have to go.

Go ahead.
Get it off your chest.
I have nothing to say.

He was a heart surgeon.
She was my patient.

It's none of my business.

There was no sex at all.
Nothing.

Okay, well, we--we--
we went to first base.

Maybe second.

Se--somewhere between
first and second base--

I do not want to know
about your bases or your balls.

It's none of my business.
Miranda, it's you. It's me.
I know you.

I know you have something
to say.

Excuse me.
We got Emily's tests back.

Oh, good.
Bad.

Why? What happened?
Emily can't donate her kidney.

Excuse me. Emily, could I
speak with you for a moment?

Told you they'd find out.

Wait. So you're aware of--
of Emily's status?

She's my sister. She knows
everything about me.

So it was only your doctors you
were keeping the secret from--

the fact that you're
h.I.V. Positive?

Doesn't matter.
The transplant needs to happen.

You said it yourself,
Dr. Bailey. I'm out of time.

I'd rather get a.I.D.S.
Than die.

I can't believe they lied.

Well, can you blame 'em?

Can you put Sarah
back on dialysis?

No, no. We're at the end
of the line.

I called
the national kidney registry,

but, you know, she's been
waiting three years for a match.

They don't have one.
What about a cadaver donor?

No match. Nothing close.

We just hope someone dies
between now and the morning

or we...

Give Sarah Emily's kidney.

Yeah.

You can't transplant
an h.I.V.-Infected organ.

If you put h.I.V.
Into her body

and then bombard
her immune system

with anti-rejection dr*gs,

she's not just looking
at living with h.I.V.

She could develop
full-blown a.I.D.S.

Before she even leaves
the hospital.

She could. Or she could
live with h.I.V.

For the rest of her life
and be fine.

What about Emily?
She's already been compromised.

I mean, is there data
that tells us

what losing a kidney does
to someone with h.I.V.?

What part of "there is no time"
do you not understand?

What part of "illegal"
do you not understand?

Oh, the laws were created
years ago,

back when h.I.V.
Was a death sentence.

They're outdated.
Out--

it's not relevant. A.I.D.S.
Is treatable now, okay?

Death isn't.
You are playing god.

I'm a surgeon.
It's how we pass the time.
Dr. Bailey, we both want
to save your patient.

But you can't expect me
to back you on this.

I'm putting my foot down. Okay?
My--my--my foot is down.

Your foot is down?
Your foot is down?

Oh, oh, no. You better
pick that foot up

and use it
to walk away from me.

You're
the infectious disease guy.

You gotta help me out here.
There's gotta be something.

He's not ready yet.
It's one dance.

And then his girl's gonna
be there with some other guy.

Lisa Baxter--she was
my lab partner in chem,

which was great,
because normally a guy like me

would not have a chance
with a girl like Lisa.

But, you know, I made her laugh,
so we got to talk.

And she realized
my inherent charms.

Anyway... I get up the nerve
to ask her to winter formal,

and she says yes right before
my parents tell me

that we're going to des moines
to my cousin ira's bar mitzvah.
My heart's breaking, Coop.

Okay, well, that was it.
By the time I got back,

she was dating this beefy guy
named Ted,

and I never got my sh*t.
Are we doing this
for you or for him?

Oh, don't grow up on me now,
Pete. His count's borderline.

You boost people all the time.
You know it could help.

And if his numbers
are normal...

Come on. Let's let the kid
get the girl.

Violet.

I am unimaginably sorry

about what happened
to you, Violet.

And I'm sorry you and Pete
aren't working out,

but... you gave away a child
that wasn't yours to give.

I mean, i-it could be,
but--but we don't know.

And I need to know.

I need to know, Violet,
if he's my son.

I want you to agree
to a paternity test.

Okay.

What?

Fine.

Whatever. Do it.

So what do we think,

corsage or no corsage?

No corsage.

I kinda like the idea
of pinning it on. You know...

Yeah, we know...
Romeo.

And I'm done.
I'm gonna be good?

Well, we'll see. Your c-d-4
has to be above 200.

So what do you think,
kiss her while we're dancing

or wait
and take her outside after?

What?

Look, I... I want him
to be happy.

He's kept
such a good attitude.

I thought it would be
easier this time

because I'd been through it.

That was stupid.

The idea of losing your child
doesn't get easier.

You have kids?

Yes.

Then you know...

That feeling.

She's getting worse.

We've contacted
every donor list.

Hopefully we'll find
another match.

And when they don't?

Let's cross that bridge...

Are you okay?

I've spent
the past 12 hours

thinking about death.

Sarah dying tomorrow,

Emily's h.I.V.
Turning into a.I.D.S.

And her dying

and leaving her three babies
with no one,

someone dying
so I can have a kidney.

I've been sitting in the E.R.

Just hoping some 24 year old
on a motorcycle with no helmet

bites it on the freeway

and by some miracle
is a match.

I'm sick
of thinking about death.

I want a paternity test.

Have you talked to Violet?

I have her consent, yeah.
Okay, what about Pete?

What about me what?

I want Addison to perform
a paternity test on Lucas.
No.

How soon can you do this?
I said no.

Uh, guys, guys, let's just
take a deep breath.
If I take any more breaths,
I'm gonna hyperventilate.

Just do the test.
Addison, you can't do this.
You don't have--

then I'll get someone else.
I want to know.

Well, I know. I look at him
and I already know.
You want me
to diagnose that, Pete?

It's denial.
You asked me
to take care of them.

Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's what I've been doing.

When she was with you. I didn't
say you could raise my child.
He's not your child!

I will get a lawyer
if I have to.

- I have the mother's consent.
- Don't do it.

All right, guys, guys.
It doesn't have to--
do the test.

Sheldon, please.
We don't have to go this far.

I hate this day.

I'm sorry
about your patient.

I figured I'd pour you
a glass more than half-full.

When did you become
an optimist?

I'm not. I just saw
that you were brooding.

Oh. Not brooding.

Just checking out
the local scenery.

Am not.
I do not check out scenery.

I think it's great.
You're single. He's single.

I mean, you know,
there were sparks.

Just tell me something.

Just tell me how come
all anybody thinks about is sex?

Why is that
all you doctors do,

sleep with each other?
I did not sleep with Noah.

Okay, look, maybe I thought
about sleeping with him,

but I didn't do it. I did
the right thing this time.

I did not sleep with him. I
tried to fire her as a patient.

I stopped things with Noah
before they went too far.

For the record,
in case you're wondering.

I wasn't.
Okay, you know, you think
you're doing me a favor

by not saying anything, but it's
written all over your face.

So you might as well just say it
before your head explodes.
Husband's best friend,
patient's husband--

where I come from, that's
called a bad track record.

Some poor woman's marching
around your office building

with a baby
trying to figure out

what the hell happened
to her marriage,

and you want a gold star
'cause you did the right thing.

You acting like a tramp,
you don't get a gold star.

You asked.

♪♪♪

Are you okay?

I'm glass half-empty,
and we're not talking about it.

Okay.

♪ Is it the thunder ♪

♪ that brings fear? ♪

♪ Is it the sparrow ♪

♪ that brings music... ♪

Leave me out of this,
please.

The birth certificate
has no father's name.

This is a change form.

I put my name down as father.
I need you to sign it.

You have to work this out
with Sheldon.
Sign the paper, Violet.

You owe me that much.
You owe Lucas that much.

I'm his father.

J-Just sign it.

You need to work this out
with Sheldon.

♪ His love... ♪

I'm sorry.

♪ That made it begin ♪

♪ for the first time ♪

♪ and his love... ♪

Mm.

♪ Set it right ♪

♪ to keep us going on ♪

♪ but we keep... ♪

Where you going?

Home.

Why?

'Cause that's where I live.

Come on.
I thought we could talk.
About what?

About, uh...

I don't know. Just talk.

This is every man's dream--

me, no strings, no talk,
just sex.

You are a lucky, lucky man.

Hey, hey.
I want you, Charlotte.

Not just in my bed, I want
to be your boyfriend again.

I know you got hurt.
You called me--

it was a moment, Cooper,
a moment.

And then Violet got att*cked,
and the moment passed.

Right now
I'm dealing with this my way.

Just go with it.

♪ ...from his side ♪

Addison.

I'm embarrassed.

I shouldn't have
barged in here yesterday.

That's just not something
I would normally do.

I-I would call first.

And bringing the baby with me
like that wasn't right.

Lately, uh, nothing I do
makes much sense.

You don't...
Have to apologize.

You had every right
to ask the question.

I just hope
that you believe me.
I do. I think I do.

Good. Good.
Because whatever happened...

You know, I just never wanted
to make things harder.

I don't want to be
that person, you know?

I mean, I hope you know
that... because we didn't--

I just hope it helps,
you know?

I hope you and Noah...
Get--put this behind you.

I hope so.

This is cruel. Tell me.

Ladies and gentlemen...

204.
Yes!

Now you're right on the border,
but you can kiss the girl.

Mom, mom, I'm going.

I gotta call Kelli.

Are you okay?

I'm fine. I...

Ryan.
What?

Wait.

What?
Your mom has a fever.

You're burning up.
You could have the flu.

I'm sorry, ry.
I'm so sorry.

I thought it was a headache.
No!

His numbers are there.
His system's compromised.

I'm fine. I feel fine.
Ryan, there'll be
other dances.

I asked you for a consult,

not to make decisions
without consulting me.
You're trying so hard
to be his friend,

you've lost sight
of what's best for him.
Having a life
is what's best for him,

and seeing that girl
is what's best for him.
And what's best
for his mother,

risking her son's life
so he can get kissed?

That's her kid, Cooper. Can you
imagine what she goes through?
Look, Pete, I know
you're a dad now

and it's a big, bad world
out there,

but you want to tell me
what's going on here?

Sheldon wants
a paternity test.

Violet said yes.

Her "t" waves are peaked.
Potassium's too high.

Her organs
are shutting down.

Okay, uh, let's increase
her morphine.

No.

Bailey, look at me.
You can't.

Sh-she's dying.

There isn't another kidney
to transplant.

Okay, just no more waiting.

Just... they both know
the risks.

You think Charlotte king
is gonna let you do

an illegal surgery?
I've dealt with tougher chiefs
than Charlotte king.

What, so that's it?
You--you feel guilty,

so you're just gonna forget
what everybody else has to say,

forget about the law,
forget--
I don't have time for this.

Yeah, walk away, Bailey.
Just walk away.

You--you know what?
No, you're--you're right.

When I first got here, I was
guilty about what happened.

But I was acting as a doctor,

a surgeon,
'cause that's my job...
Oh.

To cut through the bull
and save the patient.
Please don't pull
the surgeon card.

We're all doctors
around here.

It's a personality thing.
Okay, yeah.

I-I've seen you long enough
to see that you're good,

but you hang back,
you watch, you decide.

I act.

I don't stand outside a room
watching my life pass me by,

and I won't stand by
and watch this patient die.

This isn't about lawsuits

or red tape
or hospital bureaucracy.

This is about a girl
who came to us for help,

and we couldn't give it.

And now we're telling her
to just die quietly.

Seattle grace
is on the hook here

if this girl dies.

The law is antiquated here,
and you know it.

The question is,
are you a by-the-book chief

or a do-what's-right chief?
This usually work for you,

this kind of
blatant manipulation?
Usually.

Yeah, me, too.

This is the right thing to do,
the human thing.

I'll talk to some staff, see if
I can get a team together.

What the hell, right?

What are they gonna do, drag us
off to jail for saving lives?

They might.

Addison was wrong
about you.

What are you doing?
You just gonna let Sheldon

go ahead and have
a paternity test?
Yes.

You gave the baby to Pete.
You can't just--

I can. I did. It's done.

No, we have to talk about this.
We're gonna talk about this.
Don't, don't, don't,
don't touch me.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

I cannot let you just toss
your child to the wind.
Okay, well, what do
you want from me?

I want you to care, Violet.
This is your child.

Don't you think
I want to care?

Don't you think I would
give anything to care,

to have a feeling, to be happy,
sad, angry, anything?

I...

I can't feel anything,
Cooper.

Do you know
what that's like?

It's like not being able
to taste.

It's like remembering
what food is like.

Like you can smell chocolate,
but you can't taste it.

You can't get the sensation
when it's on your tongue.

I want to care.

I want to be a person
who cares about her son.

But my insides are dead.

I am rotting
from the inside out.

And I wish
there was some pill,

there was something
to fix this,

but there isn't.

All I have is my work.

So please... please...

Just let me do my work.

Just...

♪ maybe we'll come outta this ♪

♪ unscathed ♪

♪ Just like the story said ♪

♪ ever after
we shall be okay ♪

♪ Okay ♪

♪ yes, and I know ♪

Hey.

I heard, uh, the baby crying.
Sorry. I...

Addison.

Yeah.

Are you okay?
What's going on with you?

Nothing. I'm fine, Nai.
No, you're not.

♪ ...make it alone ♪

Look, I went downstairs
because I needed to.

It was something I had to do.

I did it for me,
not to hurt you.

I want to get past this.
It's not about that.

Then what? I have been asking.
I have been trying.

I can't. I...

I just can't.

♪♪♪

♪ Look at your reflection ♪

♪ casting your own image
in the stream ♪

Morgan.

All the way home,
I kept trying to figure out

why I don't feel better.
Did you, uh, you want
to go into my office?

Oh, where you
feel more comfortable?

No, I don't.

I know what you said,
and... y-you'd think

that knowing your husband
had stayed faithful

would--would be a relief,

but I feel worse.

I feel worse
because if it was sex,

he could get over sex.

Sex is biological.
Sex is carnal.

Sex is... forgivable.

But I see
what this did to him,

and I see the look
in your eyes,

and I keep thinking,
if it wasn't sex...

Did you...

Do you love him?

♪ ...make it alone ♪

Damn it.
But we didn't--

have sex? What does it matter
if he thinks about you?

He thinks about you.

No matter what he says,
no matter what he does...

For the rest of our marriage,

you're gonna be there
in my head.

I'm gonna be wondering
if he's thinking about you.

You said nothing happened.

It's a lie,
and you know it.

I know Dr. King
asked for your help,

but I just want to reiterate,

there could be
negative ramifications

if you assist
in this operation.

So if any one of you
want to back out,

now would be the time.

I'm sorry.

I won't tell anyone,
but I can't do this.

We'll do it without him.
I can only back you
so far.

Without a proper team,
it's a no go.

Uh, she has a full team.

I did a surgical residency.

I didn't always
stand by and watch.

Okay, we're losing time.
Let's scrub in.

I'm turning into that guy

that calls the cops
on a party.

No.

You're turning
into a father--

a good father, you know?

I mean, you're probably right
about Ryan. I just--

he's a good kid,
and I like him,

and I want to see him
and, uh...

Oh, my god.

I think I'm actually
jealous of this kid

and his relationship
with his girlfriend.

It's pathetic.
That is pathetic.

Hi, Betty.
No, no, no, no.

You stay where you are.
We'll go.

Yeah, I'll call you.

Ryan's gone,
and so is his suit.

♪ what I want, you've got ♪

♪ and it might
be hard to handle ♪

♪ but like the flame
that burns the candle ♪

♪ the candle feeds the flame ♪

♪ yeah, yeah, what I've got's ♪

♪ full stock of thoughts
and dreams that scatter ♪

Well, high school dances
haven't changed.

They still smell like
desperation and puke.

♪ Well, well, you ♪

♪ ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ you make
my dreams come true ♪

♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ ooh, ooh ♪

Ryan.
Hey.

Sorry, man. We gotta go.

Wait. Not yet.

Come on. You're burning up.

I just got here.
You're embarrassing me.

We're sorry, but you know
you gotta go. Come on.

♪ On a night when bad dreams
become a screamer ♪

Kelli, I'm sorry.

You stay and have fun.

I'm sorry.

It's... it's okay.
I'll come visit you later.

♪ And wrap yourself around me ♪

♪ 'cause I ain't the way... ♪

I didn't even
get to kiss her.

There'll be another time.

Another time.

Another time.
Another time.

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ you make my dreams
come true ♪

♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ yeah ♪
♪ ooh ♪

♪ well, well, well, you ♪
♪ ooh ♪

♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ you make
my dreams come true ♪

Now we can go.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ ooh ♪

Ryan.

He's pale and diaphoretic.
Sinus tach at 114.

Neuro's intact.
His glucose is 88.

Let's get him a c.B.C.,
chem-pan and culture him up.

Okay, bolus a liter of saline
and get a cooling blanket.

Come on.
Pulse ox is 88.
Get him on a high-flow mask.

Ryan. Ryan, come on.
Stay with us, Ryan. Hey!

It's okay.
Best night of my life.

Pressure's dropping. Let's set
him up for a central line.

We gotta get him
into an iso room.
On my count. One, two, three.

We're gonna
put you under now.

Take good care of her, okay?
How about you tell us

about those beautiful babies
of yours,

and we'll take care
of the rest?

Um...

Uh, Lily--
she's the oldest.

She's got the biggest eyes
you've ever...

Okay, everybody.

Let's do this.

You're still here.

Yeah. Waiting to hear
from Bailey.

I think she's gonna need
a ride back from the hospital.

Oh.
You look like I feel.

Oh, it's been
that kind of day.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.
I got it. I got it.

- I got it. I got it.
- Okay.

Must be nice to be a baby.

Haven't made any mistakes,

had any fights...

Said anything
you can't take back.

No, everything's ahead
for you...

Best friends, hmm?

First love.

First kiss.

Mm. Right now...
All I want to do

is take my son,
drive down to Mexico

and get away
from all this.

It's tough to do
the right thing.

It's tough to do
the right thing.

What's wrong?

Is everything okay?

I couldn't sleep.
I-I couldn't... be alone.

I had to get
out of that house.

Look, you may not get it,
'cause, um,

well, you're a mother
and, um...

You love your kid.

And you're--you're good,

so you may not get it.

But, um, you know,
you know me,

and you haven't tried to...

I need a friend.

I just--i need a friend
who will let me sit

and maybe drink
and not talk about anything.

Do you get that?

I do.

I get it.

More suction.

I need to see
what I'm doing.

All right,
retract the rectus muscle.

I'm placing the kidney.

Okay.

All right, her blood pressure's
dropping. 90 over 60.

She's throwing p.V.C.S?
What the hell?
All right.

Her neck veins are distended.
It's pericardial tamponade.

You need a pericardial window
to drain the fluid

from around her heart.

All right, someone page
a cardiothoracic surgeon.

No, there's no time.
Betadine.

Give me a 15 blade
and a Metz.
What--what are you doing?
We need a surgeon.

I've done this before.
I can do this. 15 blade.
Are you out of your mind?

Give me the scalpel!

2-inch vertical incision...

Subxiphoid.

Okay.

Peel the peritoneum...

Off the diaphragm.

Okay. 11 blade.

Extend the incision.

Pressure?

70 over 50 and dropping.

Damn it.
Well, keep doing
what you're doing.

Okay.

Okay, I can feel the heart.
Got it.

All right, poole suction.

I got this. Come on.

Come on now.

Pressure's rising.

80.

90.

I got it. I got it.

Good. Okay.

Why don't you go ahead
and connect that kidney?

What the hell
just happened in there?

I did a surgical residency
in cardiothoracic.

Well, haven't you ever--

I don't talk about why.
Why is nobody's business.

You are an infuriating...

Tiny... little woman.

Excuse me.

I'm gonna kiss you.

Okay.

I--I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You think you have
everything all figured out.

But you don't know anything,
do you?

Uh...

So these
two psychiatrists meet

at their
20th college reunion, right?

Uh...

When I'm anxious,
sometimes I, uh...

It's not
a very funny joke, really,

although the punch line
always makes me laugh.

It's a freudian slip.

Look,
however this turns out--

we'll have the answer.

Yes.

Oh, thank god!

♪ I've made mistakes ♪

♪ but I won't be ashamed ♪

♪ it feels like fate
is lifting me ♪

I really thought
he had my ears.

♪ I no longer hide ♪

♪ so I let the sun
wash over me ♪

♪ 'cause there's no darkness
left to hold me down ♪

♪ and I feel it's light ♪

♪ now I found the spark ♪

♪ that was missing
in my life ♪

♪ and I earned these wings ♪

♪ I was not born with them ♪

What are you doing here?

Cooper, what are you doing?

♪ ...through the rain
and the fire ♪

♪ 'cause it taught me
how to love ♪

♪ it taught me how to fight ♪

Wh--are you crazy?
Put me down.

You're screwed up, Charlotte.
I can't talk to you,

and you can't talk to me,
and when I stand back

and ask myself what
we're doing, I don't know.

I just know you're worth it,
and I am the man.

I am the man here. So I don't
care if you can talk to me.

And I don't care if you tell me
about getting fired or whatever.

I am taking my woman home
to our bed.

You're moving in with me.
Cooper, wait--

I'm getting the girl here.

Don't ruin the moment for me.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ and finally
I'm learning to fly ♪

Okay. I'm all packed.

Uh...

So Sam used to be
a cardiothoracic surgeon?

Yes.
And you were there

when he stopped being
a cardiothoracic surgeon?

Yes. You want to know
what happened?

No. It's not yours to tell.

No.

You haven't asked me
about Morgan.

Oh, we don't need to--

yesterday you had an opinion.

Yesterday you were ready to
have me tarred and feathered.

♪ When you feel just like
a prisoner of all... ♪

Tucker sent e-mails

to a woman
in his mommy and me group.

After he moved out,
I found them.

He... talked to this woman
about us,

about life,
about what he wanted,

which, in the end,
wasn't me.

Now they never
slept together,

but he cheated on me

the minute he sent
the first e-mail...

♪ ...to get somewhere ♪

Shared feelings

with this other woman...

Intimate feelings...

That he did not share
with me.

I fell in love with him.

♪ And I earned these wings ♪

And I keep saying that...

I did the right thing
in the end.

But along the way...

I did wrong.

You did wrong.

But, you know,
at least you're open,

at least you try, you feel,

you... are alive,
you have feelings.

I don't even know
how to be kissed anymore.

I'm sorry.

I'm not the one you need
to be apologizing to.

Mm.

♪ When you lose your way ♪

♪ when you can't escape ♪

♪ when you feel... ♪

Hey.

♪ Of all the world
says you will never be ♪

You've done nothing wrong.

You just...

You're you.

I mean, you've done
nothing wrong. I'm the one.

I feel guilty,
and I look at you.

I see myself
through your eyes,

and... it's like
you're judging me.

I am not judging you.

I know.

I'm judging me...

For who I am,
for what I've done,

and... it's just easier
to take it out on you

than to take it out on me.

♪ ...and the fire ♪

♪ 'cause it taught me
how to love ♪

I'm sorry.

♪ And finally
I'm learning to fly ♪

You want to sit down?

Yes, please.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ and finally
I'm learning to fly ♪

♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪