05x14 - April Fools/Bully For You!

[bunniefuu]

♪ She went... and... and... ♪
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre... ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say ♪

♪ Now she speaks... ♪

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks ♪

♪ Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks... ♪

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks... ♪

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right, but
still that Martha speaks... ♪

Hi, there.

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique... ♪

Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak ♪

♪ Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates,
elucidates, exaggerates ♪

♪ Indicates and explicates ♪

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ Hyperventilates. ♪

♪ Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. ♪

TD?

Where is he?

"Reluctant to introduce show.

Gone to North Pole."

Huh?
Huh?

Look.

He wrote in the snow.

"Intimidated.

Went to desert."

"I'm in a submarine to keep
from being picked on."

Hang on.

TD!

Thanks for saying all
those words, you guys.

Today's show also includes words
like prank, ploy and ruse.

Listen for them all.

(sighs)

(groans)
A dog bowl?

Para practicar.

I think you'd better
start practicing.

Practicing?
For what?

Well, it seems as though
your father is...

I'm becoming part dog.

What?

I've been wanting raw meat.

I've started chasing cars.

I've even chewed up a pair
of my own slippers.

(grunts in surprise)

But the worst part is...

(gasps)

April Fools'!

(laughing)

I'm not really
turning into a dog.

That was just
a little prank.

A prank is a trick
you play on someone.

But why?

Because it's
April Fools' Day.

(barks confusedly)

Oh, right.

When everyone
fools each other.

I forgot.

Dogs don't celebrate
April Fools.

We should do
an April Fools' prank.

Yeah!

Maybe we could trick the
neighborhood into thinking

there's a k*ller flea invasion.

Or that the grocery store
is going to stop selling meat.

Those are good
tricks for dogs,

but maybe we should
come up with something

that works for people.

Ah, I've got it!

We're going to need
some cardboard boxes.

Hey, what's going on?

(sighs)
Nothing.

Except our entire
family is moving.

You are? Why?

We just found out
that Martha's royalty.

She inherited
the throne of Dogvia.

Dogvia?

Wait a minute, I've
never heard of Dogvia.

Well, it's small.

It's an island.

Near... Turkey.

But I know all the countries
in that area,

and Dogvia isn't one of them.

That's because...
only dogs have heard of it.

And turkeys.

All hail Martha!

Queen of Dogvia!

Wow, congratulations, your...

Dog-jesty.

Your dog-jesty.

Maybe I can visit one day.

Quiet, please.

Her Royal Highness Martha,
Queen of Dogvia,

would like to say a few words.

(clears throat)

Those words are:

"April Fools'!"
(chuckles)

Whew.

I'm glad you're
not moving.

I'd really miss your Dad's
grilled cheese sandwiches.

What about us?

Yeah, you, too.

Anyway, that was
a pretty good prank.

You really had me duped.

Had you what now?

When you dupe someone,
you fool them.

You make them think
something is true

even though it's not.

Come on, let's see if we
can dupe anybody else.

(clears throat)

All hail Martha,
Queen of Dogvia!

April Fools' prank?

(sighs)

Well, you could
have played along.

Are you planning
a prank for this year?

I hadn't really
thought about it.

But you always come up
with the best pranks.

Like the time you convinced
the whole town

that the new mayor was a giant
teddy bear named Ralph.

Even I was convinced.

Wait, was I convinced?

I think I was convinced.

Well, when you convince people,
you try to make them believe

something is true.

Then I was definitely convinced.

Well, I don't have time
to think up a prank.

I've got to write a speech.

A speech?

Yeah, take a look at this.

I'm getting an award

from the Wagstaff City
Genius Society!

This came
in the mail yesterday.

Genius Society?

Are you sure
this isn't a...

Hey, everybody!

I just spotted
a loggerhead shrike!

TD:
Wow!

I don't think
I've ever seen

a loggerhead shrike
before.

April Fools'!

That's actually
a northern shrike.

(laughs)

You can tell
by the markings.

I really got you guys.

You were so gullible.

Hi, Ronald.

Ha!

Likely story.
What story?

I know what today is
and I'm on high alert.

You can't dupe me.

I'm un-April-Foolable.

By the way, congratulations
on your genius thing.

How did you
know about that?

Because the Genius Society asked
me to give out the award.

(in unison)
You?

Actually, I have
a question about this.

What about it?

Can I put up
some balloons

for the ceremony?

Sure, knock yourself out.

See you later, "genius."

Uh, TD.

Can I talk to you
for a minute?

No time.

I've got to start
coming up

with my genius-y
acceptance speech.

How did it go?

Did he figure out
it was a prank?

You kidding?

The guy is so excited he even
wants to put up balloons.

What a sucker.

You said it.

They'll probably write
a book about this prank.

I should be getting
a genius award.

A real one.

Well, Queen of Dogvia,

are you ready
to give up your crown?

Yeah, I think we've
duped almost everyone

in the neighborhood.

(wagon creaking)

Ronald's with
Reginald Steenglass?

Now I know he's up
to no good.

You think I'm not smart
enough to win a genius award?

It's not that.

We just think
this is a ploy.

No, it's not a ploy.

No way.

What's a ploy again?

A ploy is a plan to get someone
to do something

you want them to do.

Ronald is using
this genius award

as a ploy to get you
to the park for some reason.

Well, if it is a ploy,

I'm pretty sure I'd be
the one person to know.

How come?

I'm a genius, remember?

Hey, everyone!

I just found this really great
piece by Johann Strauss

and I want you to hear it!

Okay.

(chuckling)

Uh, Truman,
what's so funny?

April Fools'!

This is The Blue Danube
By Johann Strauss Jr.,

not Johann Strauss.

Oh, man, did I get you.

You should've seen
your faces.

(chuckling)

I'm not sure I understand
Truman's pranks.

Where are you going?

I'm going to work on my speech
for the awards ceremony.

After all, how often do you get
a genius award?

Hmm, there's definitely
something funny going on here.

Come on.

Let's find out
what's really going on.

(whispering):
Here they come.

I spent all night
digging the hole.

This will hold his weight
until he gets the award.

Then...

Aaaah!

Beautiful.

I can't wait to see
the look on his face.

(both laughing)

What are they saying?

They can't wait to see
the look on his face.

(sighs)
I don't like it.

Hey, guys,
are you coming

to see me get
my genius award?

I invited everyone.

TD, we went to the park.

Ronald and Reginald are
definitely planning something.

Well, it's not every day someone
gets a big award like this.

Yeah.

Just on April Fools.

Hey!

Would you like
a piece of pie?

Because I made this
extra delicious apple pie

I want you to try.

Truman,
it's April Fools' Day.

Do you really expect us
to fall for that?

(whining)
Please?

Please?

All right.

We'll play along.

Mmm...

This is really good.

Yeah, Truman.

This pie is delicious.

(chuckling)
April Fools'!

Instead of one tablespoon
of nutmeg, I put in two.

Tastes fine to me.

No, the flavors are
completely unbalanced.

Classic.

Well, Truman,
you really got us.

Hey!

It's time for
my genius award.

You guys coming?

TD, I have a really bad
feeling about this.

Don't worry.

My speech is going
to be short and sweet.

That's what I'm afraid of.

(applause)

Congratulations,
genius.

Just stand right here and
we'll give you your award.

(groaning)

Okay.

But first...

(groaning)
What?

I'd like to say
a few words.

I want to thank my friends
for believing in me.

I want to thank my brain
for being so huge.

I want to thank
Wagstaff City Quality Meats

for their delicious salami.

Great.
Now stand there.

You mean on the big red X?

Right, hurry up!

This isn't good.

I can't look.

(creaking)

Don't move.

On behalf of the
Wagstaff City Genius society,

I present to you...

Wait!

My dad left his tool kit.

Let me take it to him.

No!

I mean... stay there.

I'll do it.

(groaning)

What have you
got in here?

Lead weights?

Somebody take this.

Okay, now, give
him the trophy.

On behalf of
the Wagstaff City Society

I give you this!

April Fool's!

Do you see the look
on his face?

It looks like
he's smiling.

You did a great job
digging that hole.

Look how far
he's falling.

Wait a minute...

April Fools'!

And thanks for the Genius Award.

I'll take good care of it.

(exclaiming)

Anybody want
some lemonade?

Another great April Fools' Day
and another epic prank.

We had to walk all the way
from Mountain Meadow.

Well, Ronald,
it looks like

you were April-Foolable
after all.

Whatever.

So now will you tell us
how you did it?

Sure.

When I got
the Genius Society invitation,

I knew it was a fake.

For one thing,
"genius" was spelled wrong.

Sorry.

I had no idea who it was from.

The only clue was a set
of dirt smudges.

But last night, Reginald
Steenglass gave me the answer.

Aha.

I've got an idea.

My dad did some calculations.

Then early this morning
we went to the park.

My dad brought helium
and lots of weather balloons.

I turned the trap door
into a sturdy platform.

The trick was to make sure

the gazebo didn't float away
too early.

We filled my dad's tool box
with weights

to help hold it down.

What have you got in here?

Lead weights?

The weight of the trophy
was the last thing

holding the gazebo in place.

Give him the trophy.

On behalf of the
Wagstaff City Society

I give you this.

So when they handed it to me,
up and away.

(exclaiming)

Yeah... well, ha,
the joke's on you.

We wanted to go
on a balloon ride.

No, we didn't.

Yes, we did.

Did not.
Yeah, did, too.

(arguing over each other)

Ah, another great
April Fools' Day.

And another great prank.

Your prank was good, TD.

But no offense,

I think my northern shrike
prank was funnier.

All I know is I can't wait
for next year.

I am the King of Pranks!

Congratulations, King.

(all laughing)

I think he meant to say
he's the King of Dogvia.

April Fools' Day isn't over yet.

I figured I had time
for one last prank.

(all laughing)

Step right up!

Right this way.

See the most
interesting thing

in the history
of the world.

Ever.

Sign me up.

Is it a giant steak?

I hope it's a giant steak.

Wait a minute, how do we
know this isn't a ruse?

A ruse?

It looks like
a door to me.

A ruse is a plan that you
use to trick someone.

It's not a ruse.

If this was a ruse,
would we be wearing

these ridiculous outfits?

Yeah, would we be wearing
these fake moustaches?

Actually, that sounds
exactly like a ruse.

Well, if this was a ruse,
would we have set up a bucket

of whipped cream to fall
on whoever opened the door?

(groaning)

(giggling)
See?

Told you it was a ruse.

Yes, but a delicious one.

(sighs)

Good.

He didn't follow me.

Gotta go.

Ready, you guys?

(barks)
Whoa.

(giggling)

(muffled):
Martha?

You coming?

Sure.

Oh, look.

Someone moved into that house
across the street

from Mrs. Demson.

We should stop by
and say hello.

Not now!

Don't want to be late
for school!

Martha, wait!

(barking and grunting)

Come on, Martha.

It's a beautiful day.
Come out and play.

I can play from here.

(sighs)

Hmm.

I'm worried about Martha.

She never wants to go
outside anymore.

Not to walk, not to play,
not for anything.

She'll go out for
a trip to Karl's.

Do I have to?

(whimpering)

(barks)

Martha!

Karl's?

He has meat.

Your favorite thing ever.

(grunts)

(door opens and closes)

(barking)

Wrong with me?

What makes you think anything
is wrong with me?

(barks)

If I tell you, will you
promise not to make fun of me?

I'm afraid.

A new dog moved
into that house

across the street
from Mrs. Demson.

His name is Jaws.

He's really, really mean.

Whenever he sees me,
all he does is tease me.

(barks)

When you tease someone,
it means you make fun of them

and say bad things
about them

and make them
feel really bad.

Jaws teases me
and calls me Chubby.

He says my ears are uneven
and my spots are different sizes

and I stink.

I mean, all those
things are true.

But when Jaws says them,
he makes me feel

really bad about myself.

(barks)

Really?

You'll make
Jaws apologize?

Thanks for sticking up
for me, Skits.

I bet Jaws will stop
teasing me once he sees you.

(whimpering barks)

(barks)

He was mean and teased you, too?

(barking)

(gasp)

You do not look like a clumsy
pony or a chocolate giraffe.

How can a dog be so cruel?

(growling)

Uh-oh.

(growling)

He knows where we live.

(barking)

I do not look like
an over stuffed banana.

(barking)

Do not!

(barking)

Do not!

(barking)

Night-night walkies!

Don't you want
to go for a walk?

We did all we had to do
out there.

What is the matter
with you guys?

(whimpering)
Nothing.

Why?

You're both reluctant
to go outside.

Now, come on, let's do
a real walk.

(groaning)

Reluctant to go outside?

Us? Ha!

No, we're not reluctant.

(groaning)

We just really don't want
to do it.

We dread it more than taking
a bath or going to the vet.

(groaning)

(struggling)
That's what reluctant means.

(groaning)

When you're reluctant
to do something,

it means you really
don't want to do it.

(all groaning)

(sighs with relief)

Now let's do a real walk.

(Jaws barking)

MARTHA:
Helen?

Does my nose look like
an overripe papaya?

Where are Martha and Skits?

Uh... (grunts)

Inside.

Huh?

I know.

It's weird.

They never want to come out
anymore.

It's like they're intimidated
or something.

Intimidated?

You mean like when someone makes
you feel nervous or scared?

Exactly.

Don't trip, klutzy.

Whoa!

Ronald makes me feel
intimidated all the time.

Hey! Whoa.

It's weird, but I think a lot
of the dogs might be

intimidated by something.

Why?

None of them are here.

There's usually tons of dogs
cutting through here

on the way to the park,
remember?

(barking)

Huh?

(barking)

Huh?

(barking)

MARTHA:
You guys going
to the park?

Wait for us.

(barking)

Whoa... whoa!

Thanks, Skits!

(barking)

(barking)

Just look at the place.

Not a dog in sight.

I think it has
something to do

with whatever's
at that house

across from Mrs. Demson.

Martha's so afraid of it,

she won't even walk
by it anymore.

Yesterday they took
a shortcut

through Mrs. Demson's yard.

How did that work out?

About as well as you'd expect.

(alarm blaring)

Ah!

(alarm blaring)

We've got to find out
why all the dogs

are so intimidated.

Jaws.

Huh?

His name is J-Jaws.

He's a new dog who moved in
across from Mrs. Demson.

He's mean and cruel.

All he does is pick on everyone.

He's a big bully.

What did he do to you?

He didn't do anything.

It's what he said.

He made fun of me.

We won't walk by his house
anymore, okay?

Now come out and play.

Jaws can't hurt you;
he's way over there.

But he can hear us.

And we can hear him.

Whenever he hears us
in the yard,

he starts making
fun of us again.

It never stops.

But Martha, you can't stay
inside all the time.

How are you going
to use the bathroom

or get exercise?

A nice patch of grass
in the living room

should do the trick.

And we can exercise
right here.

Watch.

What about swimming?

You guys love swimming.

(gasp)

We can swim
in the bathtub.

HELEN:
Seriously?

No.

No, we can't do that.

No one should be afraid
to leave their house.

I'm going to see
that bully dog right now.

No!

Helen, you can't!

It's too dangerous!

I don't care.

He's harassing you
and it's wrong.

Harassing?

What's that?

When you harass someone, it
means you keep bothering them.

Like the way
some kids harass me

about my glasses.

Or make fun of me because
I trip all the time.

It's cruel.

Yeah.

I don't care how
intimidating Jaws is.

Someone has to stick up
for you guys.

He should apologize.

That's Jaws?

(chuckling)

That's the bully who's
been harassing you?

(barking)

(laughing)
(laughing)

How could you be
intimidated by that?

It's not his size;
it's what he says.

(laughing)
Oh, Martha, just ignore him.

Easy for you to say.

You can't tell what
he's saying about you.

Why?

What's he saying
about me?

(barking)

He says your shirt makes you
look like a giant lollipop.

Oh, yeah?

(barking)

And someone should call
the Fire Department

because your head is on fire.

Oh, yeah?

(barking)

And now your face is, too.

Oh, yeah?

(barking)

Your freckles make you look like
a giant Connect-The-Dots game.

Oh, yeah?

(barking)

And those pink tights
with your knobby knees

make you look like an overgrown
flamingo with a bad permanent.

Oh, yeah?

(barking)

Okay, Jaws,
that's enough.

You be quiet.

You can pick on me and Skits,
but when you pick on Helen,

you don't know what
you're talking about.

Helen is the nicest person
in the world.

And all you do
is pick on everyone.

No wonder no one wants
to be your friend.

(whimpering)

Don't bite you?

I wasn't going to bite you.

(whimpers)

What?

(whimpers)

You what?

Why?
(barking)

What's he saying?

He says other dogs always
want to bite him

because he's so little.

To them, he looks like lunch.

(barking)

He tries to make himself
seem big and scary

with his mean words.

That's how he keeps
other dogs away.

So they won't pick on him.

So that's why he said
all those mean things?

Because he was afraid?

Mm-hmm.

You don't have to be afraid
of Martha and Skits.

They always play nicely.

Yeah.

And you don't have to worry
about other big dogs either.

Skits and I will protect you.

(whimpers)

(barking)

Why?

Because you're our friend.

At least...
you could be our friend.

If you promise not to harass
or tease anyone ever again.

(whimpers)

(barks)

I love happy endings.

Does my hair really look
like it's on fire?

(laughing)

(barking)
You know, Jaws.

You really should apologize

to all the people
you picked on.

(barks)

When you pick on someone,

it means you make
fun of them

and make them feel bad
about themselves.

Words can hurt
people's feelings.

Dogs', too.

Jaws would like
to apologize, Francois.

Your head doesn't
really look like

a bleached piece
of broccoli.

He says you have
beautiful curls.

On both ends.

(barks)

Jaws says he's sorry
for picking on you

about your tongue, Daisy.

It's super cute.

(barks)

Jaws says he can't really take
a shower in your slobber.

But if he could,
he'd definitely

rather shower in your slobber
than anyone else's.

(barking)

Isn't this more fun
than being mean?

(barks)

Did you catch all
of today's words?

Here are a few of them again.

When you're reluctant
to do something,

it means you really
don't want to do it.

A ploy is a plan to get someone
to do something

you want them to do.

When you harass someone, it
means you keep bothering them.

Well, that's our show.

See you next time.

Hey, I think I left a note
for you guys somewhere in China.

Want to go find it?