03x06 - American Life Coach

[bunniefuu]

I couldn't get out of the car,

like I was stuck or something,

even though this is everything

that I've been, like,
looking forward to.

I've been putting
all of my focus onto it.

And how do you feel
about the virginity?

I... I used to have nightmares

about having sex all the time.

And then when I finally did it
a few years ago,

a part of me felt so much shame.

This idea of being perfect
was gone.

And then there was also
this other part of me

that realized that I had never

really felt my body.

It was like something
opened up in me,

and I... oh, my gosh,
it was just...

I could... that sexual feeling
just made me feel like a woman,

which I always wanted.

I didn't... I don't even know
how to describe it.

It was just a feeling inside.

Like, I started making
my own decisions

and felt
this kind of different power.

And I really felt
like I knew myself better

even if I didn't love
every part of me.

I don't even think
that I came ever,

but it doesn't even matter.

I meant his virginity.

You took his virginity, right?

Oh.

Yeah, um, he was really
traumatized by that. I feel...

I'm not interested
in his trauma.

This is about you
and how you feel in your body.

Reconnecting to your body.

Do you agree brown cultures

have emotional relationships
with food?

What?

I've found that there's
an emphasis in brown culture

on the acceptance as food
as a form of love

while also a criticism
of those who gain weight.

Did you feel like your body
was ridiculed by your family?

Um...

I don't really feel
comfortable or, like...

Talking about this
with a white woman?

I was actually gonna say
something else,

but yeah, that.

This work isn't
about exposing your family.

This will serve your family.

When I was seven,
my grandma told me

she'd get me a nose job at 16.

- And did you?
- No.

She d*ed when I was 14.

I think you should join group.

Usually, I like to have
more one-on-one time

with people, but I think
I could integrate you

into tomorrow's session.

Uh, well,

see, my dad's
in Egypt right now,

and I'm supposed to be
helping my mom...

Bring her.

To... to group?

The group would love
to have a mother there.

- I don't...
- It is so rare

that we get to explore pain
with those who inflicted it.

I think this is
a great opportunity for you,

for both of you,

especially with all of this
emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse?

Everything you've told me
about your family

is emotionally abusive.

Have you never thought of that?

I thought...

we were just Arab.

"I thought I was just Arab."

Wow.

That's great work.

You're smoking in the house now?

Dena, it's not
a political rally, okay?

Biden won long time ago.

That's it. Khalas!

You're the one
who wanted to quit.

It's not easy to quit, okay?

I will quit in the summer.
It's easier.

Okay.

I wanted to talk to you
about something.

Talk. Yalla. I have to lift.

Okay, uh, I wanted to know

if maybe you would come
to therapy with me.

Like, together.

- Therapy?
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I'm seeing
this new therapist,

and they think that it would
be helpful to meet you

- as part of my work.
- Oh, it's work.

So, like, you represent
this therapist in court?

And, uh, like, how can I help?

What did he do?
Like, he touched someone?

No, no, no, no, this is not
part of my law work.

It's part of my therapy work.

My healing.

You know, like,
my mental health.

We have God, Dena.

God isn't a therapist, Mom.

What are you doing there?

You just go and report
how terrible your mom is,

how bad your parents are?
Like, what...

You're just, like,
giving our secrets out

to a random person
to put them in a folder?

- No...
- Is that how we raised you?

I'm not telling on you.

I need help,

and I really think you do too.

I don't need anything.

I love my life.
I am very happy in my life.

Have you seen the show The
Real Housewives of New Jersey?

These women drink and cheat.

Their husbands are murderers.
m*rder, Dena.

I mean, these guys need therapy.

Like, you wanna put me
there with them?

I raised you up, both of you,
you and your brother,

and then I went to work.

Now, tell me, do you know
any other woman on Earth

raised two kids and then
they started to work after?

I am the real Real Housewife
of New Jersey.

I was thinking maybe you wanna
give them a try?

Are those mushrooms, Shadi?

Yeah, I know
it's unconventional, and...

One trip really
changed everything.

I understand.

I thought maybe you could use
a little bit of help.

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

dr*gs? Therapy? What?

What do you need help for?

You are
emotionally abusing me, Mom.

What the f*ck?

That's what my therapist said.

That's because he heard only
your side of the story, okay?

No.

You see, he keeps saying

that he's a businessman,

but there's
no business happening,

and I'm the one really doing
all the work here.

This is not what we agreed on.

In the beginning,

there was love,
there was passion,

but now stubbornness.
Only stubbornness,

Like, he's so stubborn.

I say, "Farouk,
let's do something together."

And he goes, "I am watching
something on YouTube.com."

Okay, but, Mom, also,

you don't always communicate
that clearly.

And when you... when you try to,
it comes off really aggressive.

I'm f*cking trying
to say something here.

Yes, yes, Dena, Dena, please,
give us a moment.

Sorry, I thought
we were both sharing...

Maysa, I would like to know more

about your life before him.

Did you experience
these power struggle dynamics

in your previous relationships?

- Listen, I'm not a whore.
- Okay?

Like, no previous relationships.

Us, in our culture,
we pick only one man.

Mm.

And you said that he lied to you

about losing a job?

You never considered divorce?

I'm curious.

You speak of your husband
like some speak of a father.

What was your relationship like
with your father?

I'm not going to sit here,

tell you everything
about my life

or my father or my husband.

Listen, they're good men.
You don't know them.

I am here
because my daughter said

that I abuse of her,

and I'm here
because I want to tell her

that I don't abuse.
Okay, Dena?

What did I do to you?
Did I hit you?

Did I do anything bad to you?
Like...

You don't know anything, right?
You just met her.

We speak five minutes,
and you say divorce?

I am a Palestinian woman,

and you don't f*cking know
what I went through.

Okay? When we have problems,
we just figure them out.

We don't walk away like
if we don't have any family.

Not like you people. Let's go.

I'm done.

No, no, no. Stay. Please.

We'll work through this later
in the role-play.

Yalla.

But for free.

Huh?

Nabawy.

Nabawy.

Shereen!

Hi.

Hmm?

No.

Oh.

Okay.

Insha'allah.

Thank you
for calling 1-800-DIVORCE-HIM,

here for all your divorce needs.

We'll now be connecting you
to a divorce specialist.

Hello, how may I
help you end things today?

Hello? Uh...

Who do I have...

- Hi.
- 'Sup?

'Sup?

Marlboro Red, please.

Oh, we don't cig here.
Just vapes.

This is a smoke shop.

Digital smoke.

- f*ck.
- You seem pressed.

You wanna try CBD?

- Actually, do you have cr*ck?
- What?

You're just like my nephew.

Everyone wants me to do dr*gs

and just, like,
forget about things

and quit, maybe, about my life.

I mean,
maybe I should try cr*ck,

and then I can go to prison

and rap about it
and become successful

in this f*cking country.

This is what everyone
likes here, right?

This is how people become rich.

You worried about money?

I put everything in my life
into my daughter,

and I think she hates me.

You know,
you remind me of my mom

energy-wise.

Hardworking, immigrant vibes.

We had the same kind
of relationship.

Do you hate her?

Yeah.

Here, tobacco.

It's on the house.

I'm giving you
some cartridges too.

Thank you.

So, uh...

Since Maysa isn't here,

I will have Jessica
play your mom.

Mikey, please,

play her father, and let's all
think about what we heard

in their session this morning
and use that as inspiration.

Remember, when we revisit
and revise,

- we what?
- Find healing.

Find healing, thank you.

Sorry, do we have to do it
with, um, a real cigarette?

Dena, lean in.

This is your mother.

Yeah, no... okay. Okay.

Um...

please, can you stop smoking?

Dena, I am Mommy.

Don't tell me what to do.

I tell you what to do.

Nice, nice. Good listening.

Sorry, um,
that's not my mom's accent...

Don't you be critical
of how I am talking.

I am a strong Palestinian woman.

Okay, it's a bit
of an Indian accent.

- I am your mother.
- Listen to me, chaiwala.

It's the energy, not the voice.

Surrender.

Palestine.

Um...

I am really afraid
that you keep smoking...

I am home, your father!

Jagshemash! My wife.

She didn't make food.

Why you don't cook for me?

My daughter don't cook for me.

Yes, she is very bad.

My wife say you don't listen.

Daughter who don't listen
to her mother?

- Wah-wah-wee-wah!
- Nice.

Jessica, call her a whore.

You're a whore.

Wah-wah-wee-wah.

You not virgin? Jagshemash!

I pray for this never happen.

What our family shame gonna be?

Is gonna be death.

The whole village cries.

Before you going to do this,
talk to your mother.

You don't go run around.

You talk to your family.

We support you be whore.

I think so.

Yeah.

Good to see you again.

Hey. I was waiting for a bit.

I was, um, about to leave,
but I'm...

I'm happy that I'm seeing you,
yeah.

I just wanted to say
that I'm sorry.

It's been really hard for me.
It's a hard time.

Like, it feels like
my family's falling apart,

and I'm just in the middle
of everything

all the time.

Like,
they dump everything on me,

but they won't even listen
to me.

And I feel like
I'm just this idea

of what a daughter should be.

I don't... I don't even know
who I am.

You know, like, I don't feel
like I'm in control sometimes,

and, like, I skipped
the biggest exam of my life

because I was so f*cking pissed.

Just pissed at how I... I can't
even help people, you know?

Being a lawyer, it feels like
I wouldn't even help anyone.

I don't know, I just...

Sometimes I don't know
what I believe.

But I... I really wanna feel like
I'm doing something special.

Something that's mine,

not just something put on me.

I'm just sorry.

Uh, when I saw you, I really
wasn't thinking about you.

I just... I wanted what I wanted.

Moshin thinks you r*ped me.

What?

I told him
I don't think it was r*pe

because I invited you over.

That technically
doesn't mean it's not.

But still, I... like, I didn't.

I saw how you are
with your mother.

She's a bit much,
but you act like a baby.

In this dunya, none of us
have any control,

but we can make good choices.

My parents don't agree
with everything in my life.

But I stand up to them.

It is so different.

You're a guy.

Yes, but you are more convincing

than any guy I've ever met.

I think you could convince
anyone of anything.

Could I convince you
to get something to eat?

You may hang up or press one

for more options.

Okay?

I love you.

Bye.

Mm.

Mm.

Feminist.

Yalla.