03x04 - That's What She Said

[bunniefuu]

[motivational music]

♪ ♪

NASEEM: All we know on this earth

will disappear one day.

[expl*si*n] That's why our store

se llama Dunya.

In Arabic, "dunya" means "be in the world".

the world before the next.

You will die.

If we're only here for a while,

why not make it worthwhile?

Die in style, okay?

Life is about what you feel

of what you can touch,

what you can hold in your hand.

Allah already saw you naked when you came into the world.

He doesn't want to see you like this again.

He wants to see you shine.

Allow me to prepare you for Allah.

Dunya Jewelry, where you are family.

Really, I'll adopt you and make you part of the family

and I will give you the best discount.

You will be my son, my daughter,

my father, my mother, my grandmother,

my nephew, my niece, whatever.

It's great, isn't it?

Allah put us in this...

- Very good.

- Yes? - The color is...

NASEEM: The best deal in this life and the next.

- Strong. - [laughs]

- I love the typography. NASEEM: Just come.

I directed it. [chuckle]

It's going to blow away the competition.

Rot Ramy.

[giggles] It'll be great.

I'll be out everywhere...

in taxis, on TV, on local channels.

- Sounds expensive.

Is your business not having problems?

- If you're calibrating.

You have to spend money to make money.

Advertising is everything.

Tell your friends to watch it on TV, okay?

- Totally. Do not know anyone

to watch television.

- What the hell are you talking about?

- [soft laugh] Don't worry. I will tell everyone.

NASEEM: I'm also flooding Facebook.

I did exactly the same as the GOP.

They do know how to get clients.

- Aren't you a Democrat?

- I'm not a Democrat.

That is repulsive.

Why do you say that?

- Are you a Republican? NASEEM: No!

Neither one nor the other.

- You young people make me angry.

You can have six different genders,

but you have to fit in as a Democrat.

I'm politically fluid, okay?

I have to go see a client.

In any case,

Get out of my f*cking apartment.

don't shower Just go away.

Yalla.

[energetic upbeat music]

♪ ♪

RAMY: It's the kind of thing that says, "I like you,

"But I'm not ready to get married.

- It's expensive though." NASEEM: I need to talk to you.

- He can wait. - He'll take care of you.

RAMY: What?

- [giggles] You make me proud, you know?

Just like my new campaign.

I don't know, it's working great.

I don't know if you saw it, but you know what?

Don't worry, you'll see it.

What you are doing is good.

Build a sub-brand.

- Sub-brand? NASEEM: Yes.

All the best brands belong

to the same company.

Nestlé owns Pellegrino.

Coca-Cola owns that Mexican drink.

They are the same bubbles.

Let me be your owner, habibi.

Be my Topo Chico.

[laughs]

- Yes look...

I saw your commercial. NASEEM: Yes, did you see it?

She is amazing. Is incredible.

Everybody loves it.

RAMY: Nobody likes it.

The whole block makes fun of you.

You're like a f*cking meme.

- A meme? What?

RAMY: I'll make it easy for you, okay?

I'll buy the rest of your merchandise.

I will give you a good price and you can enjoy life.

- Mira, habibi,

I'm going to explain something to you.

Every company has ups and downs.

Right now you are in good times.

But you need someone who knows the bad times.

- I really think you should retire.

- I see you changed.

Don't you care about anyone anymore?

I am your family. - I know.

That's why I try to offer you a good deal.

I think you should accept it.

- This stone rests on a bed of moldavite.

It took us a while to find her.

A very special request.

- Yes, he is a very special subject.

I searched for her for a long time.

- Third installment this month, huh?

You are fast, efficient.

Yuval could learn from you.

If so.

If so?

We need you to pay us, at least half.

- Of course.

- Here you have.

- I didn't know what to think of you when we met.

But you are one of us.

Unlike this one behind me. Damn fool.

Even his aunt Ayala is mad at him.

Say, in you Islam,

They would have cut off more than his finger.

I'm just trying to help.

- He was clearly talking about me.

- Old man, what happened to your finger?

- There are people who think you need

the index finger to point, but actually

you just need to grab with your thumb and little finger.

You see-- - What happened?

YUVAL: I screwed up a bit.

But I'm fine.

I returned to my faith. I'm back.

I'm fine.

Do you need a rock?

I have a subject. A good subject.

RAMY: It's a weird rock. I have been with this client for months.

I'll talk to Saleem's guy.

I need it for this weekend.

YUVAL: Shmmuli? It will take a week.

My subject will do it tonight.

And he lives next door to a massage parlor

where we can go to be pampered.

RAMY: A massage parlor? - Yes.

You just said you came back to your faith.

YUVAL: I'm going there specifically for that.

It is an agreement between those women and me,

because they know that men are destined to sin.

I don't want to judge

but do you have sex without rules?

- But a massage parlor? Is that your rule?

- What am I supposed to do? seduce a girl

and pretend I listen to your podcast?

That is a lot of lying.

God will say, "Did you have extramarital sex

And you didn't listen to his podcast?

- I think there is an option

that doesn't involve podcasts or massage parlors.

Look, I'm not going.

I have plans tonight.

Can you handle this? - Sure.

What will you do tonight?

- I'll see a friend.

- Cool. - No, I told you.

I will not go out with anyone.

He is a friend.

- Tell me how it turns out.

RAMY: Yes. - Call me, old man.

- Yes, Yuval, see that they shape the stone.

I have the subject waiting.

AZAM: Nice to meet you.

NASEEM: Shut the f*ck up.

Seriously, that woman kept looking at me.

As if he knew who I was.

- Nobody follows you.

You're overreacting.

NASEEM: What? [it mocks]

No, it's this generation, okay?

A woman says that a man gives her a bad vibe

she is a heroine.

I get a bad vibe and I'm troublesome.

AZAM: Look, I understand that you're nervous.

Have you never used this app?

NASEEM: What? AZAM: The Sugar Baby app?

You must pay me in advance.

I need the money in advance,

because I need a visa.

NASEEM: Are you only worried about money?

The money? That's all?

Look, I'm a little short on money right now, okay?

I just spent a lot of money on a commercial, okay?

I will show you. It's great.

But I have to wait for-- well, you don't mind.

Here you go, take.

Take this, okay?

Keep it, do not sell it to increase its value.

Mira, habibi, esto, ¿eh?

It's not about sex.

I too was a young immigrant like you.

I'm supporting you, okay?

And beyond. I have the suite.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[parloteo]

- Look, man.

Tonight is going to be epic.

With that wrestling match, Angel Wish hooked me up.

Shred Allison is going to greet me when I win.

- That's what she said. [both laugh]

STEVE: Man, give me some bread.

- Lena is cutting some for you.

STEVE: No, that's yours.

He likes small bites.

- That's what she said.

- It's a joke, from The Office.

- I know. She is like years old.

It didn't make much sense the way it was used.

How did you meet?

STEVE: Man, the best app.

Muslim Match.

- You don't need to be Muslim to--

- No, they admit anyone.

RAMY: Anyone? - Yes.

I told Lena, "Muslim guilt helped me a lot.

You know how it is".

She laughed.

and then saw

that one of my favorite series is The Office,

so I sent him a GIF of Jim shrugging.

- One if he identifies with The Office.

I really like that program.

Much.

- Yeah, I never saw it.

- What?

I go to the bathroom.

- Gosh, isn't that great?

I'm thinking of proposing to her.

Maybe I'll order you a ring.

- Marriage? Seems a bit early, doesn't it?

Do you know everything about her?

- Of course.

It has been the best year of my life.

- Yes, but do you know her well?

'Cause it seems like it's a bit--

STEVE: What?

- You already know how...

A little autistic? - Damn, Ramy.

- No, I'm just saying we picked her up.

an hour ago.

The only thing he has talked about is The Office.

Sounds like an obsession or something.

- He talked about it because the topic came up.

It's called "conversation."

And don't come at me with this new disabled nonsense.

- New nonsense--?

STEVE: People testing online.

who tell them they are autistic

and so they don't need to reply to messages.

It's okay. It's a little different.

But she is generous.

She is a true Muslim.

- His behavior is not Muslim.

Look, you asked me to take you to combat today.

because he can't drive.

Why don't you have a driver's license?

Maybe you have something special,

but you should know everything about her before you get married.

- Are you an expert in marriage?

- Guys, someone in the bathroom was on the phone.

Do you know what it reminded me of?

Dwight's bathroom office.

Remember when Dwight had an office in the bathroom?

- How crazy.

The bathroom reminded you of The Office.

- Yes me too.

RAMY: ¿Te recordó a The Office?

- Yeah, that happened to me.

RAMY: When you go to the bathroom,

do you think of The Office? - Yes always.

- The connection is so clear.

STEVE: You don't understand.

[cell phone vibrates]

- Hello, Silvak? What's going on?

AHA. AHA. Yes Yes Yes.

Yes this night. Yes.

Yes, I can go tonight.

To the meeting.

To the meeting.

STEVE: I knew it.

- We'll be fine, okay?

The subject lives coming out of the tunnel.

I'll go and close the deal super fast

and we will go to combat.

STEVE: [grunts]

- We wouldn't stop--

we would not be in this situation

If I wasn't the only one who can drive.

- Go to hell.

- Just say.

Hey Lena...

I'm curious

the fact that you don't drive,

what would you say it is due to?

Is it due to a personal choice or...?

- Lena, you don't have to answer that.

[whispers] What the f*ck was that?

- That's a fair question. - It is not.

It is your decision.

- You make it sound like a women's rights issue.

It's-- - It's a rights issue.

You have the right to do what you want.

[suspension percussive music]

♪ ♪

- Hears. Did you give it to him? Everything's fine?

YUVAL: f*ck this.

I love crazy things.

But you are not. You are not. I have to get out of here.

It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Dislike. Dislike.

FRAME: ¿Silvak?

["For a Dancer" de Jackson
Browne sonando]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Hello, Ramy. I am happy.

- Hello, Felis.

- Silvak is resting.

- Yes, I just wanted to know if he was happy

with the stone that we molded.

- He's feeling pain.

They did an excellent job.

Perfect fit at the incision point.

The last one didn't work, so I was vulnerable.

Had a hole quite a while.

You filled it out.

- Okay, I need to see Silvak,

because we had an agreement.

Said he was going to...

I'm in a hurry

You have to pay me.

I really need to-- - Heus, Ramy.

How are you?

I'm glad to see you.

- Hello, Silvak.

Y-you put the rock in your...

[speaks Latin hesitantly]

- Your Latin--

it sounds pretty good.

- Yes, I took a class in high school.

to help with my SAT test.

- AHA. OK. Do I help you?

- Eh no. It was not...

No. It didn't help me.

- [sighs]

I feel the moldavite reverberate.

I can't believe you found her.

- Yeah, it took us a while to get it--

Obviously, it's quite expensive, so--

- Yes.

It's a crucial part of my quest.

It's the only mineral that can decipher

Leconcruth's riddle.

- Yes, sure.

SILVAK: Is bitcoin effective?

I know it is late. Can it be effective?

I must get rid--I must--

I have a matter.

- Yeah, yeah, cash is fine.

- I summon money.

I summon money. I summon money.

He is looking for it. RAMY: Yes.

Uh.

- The money.

- Yes, thanks. SILVAK: Okay.

It's all there. Tell it calmly.

Also, would you like more?

- More money?

- I'm going to a meeting

with highly influential Lothorian elves.

Your supply of minerals would be invaluable to them.

It stays in the center.

- Yes, it would be great to meet them.

But didn't you just have surgery?

Maybe you should sleep. - No.

I drank an elixir that--

Let's just say I'll be fine for a while. [chuckle]

- Yes, I could go for a little while.

- Happy, shall we? - [hissing sound]

SILVAK: I just need to change.

- Yeah. - I'll be right out.

Help me change.

FEMALE VOICE: You are using our free version

the streaming the Pandora.

Upgrade to Premium for an ad-free experience.

- Mm.

It is sad what has happened to the city.

Family business is over.

There are only Duane Reade and Chick Fil-A stores.

I know people who could help you.

- Help me in what?

- All.

In many ways--

I mean, it's not FDA approved,

but I know people.

- Yes. I'm not looking for a cure.

- ¿No?
STEVE: No.

Walking is not on my to-do list.

what I want to do.

- Fascinating.

[sighs] Ramy... - Yes?

SILVAK: With your legacy from the Middle East,

what would you say is the quality of street meat?

Do you trust the halal label?

- Sometimes I eat it. SILVAK: Hmm.

Since we're traveling together,

could we recharge energy with some local food?

I'm hungry. - Yes, that's fine.

Yes, there are--there are several carts around here.

We could eat something quick.

- No way. We do not have time.

Also, that food is disgusting.

The chicken receives the fumes from the subway since noon.

- The sorcerer is quite right.

I understand why you are traveling with us.

- Thank you. SILVAK: Yes. [giggles]

To a halal store, then.

- Damn.

[bell]

SINGER: [sings in Arabic]

♪ ♪

[sin audio]

♪ ♪

- Salaam alaikum, brother.

They told me this is the best place.

I just wanted to know the level of spiciness in their sauces.

- ¿La salsa? SILVAK: Mm.

- It's a bit spicy.

- Do you know what kind of pepper the sauces have?

Cayenne, Anaheim chiles--

Felis is very sensitive.

- I am a cat.

- Ah. Eh--

Yomna, they need to know which pepper is in the sauce.

For the cat

- Fair.

FRAME: Mira ...

We'll make it quick, okay?

I'll just leave Silvak--

I will accompany him. And then--

[honk] [braking]

[groans] - Meow!

STEVE: Oh, hell.

RAMY: What the hell? STEVE: What?

- That guy came out of nowhere.

- They are fine? STEVE: You are.

who came out of nowhere, driving like an idiot.

Hell, my back.

SILVAK: [groans]

The Moldavite.

[speaks in Latin]

RAMY: Damn. - [groan]

I think I need to recalibrate. - sh*t.

sh*t. sh*t. SILVAK: I must recalibrate.

RAMY: Hey, you're--you're like...

SILVA: sh*t.

RAMY: You have a lot--

I think we should go to a hospital.

Do you have-- FELIS: [whistling sound]

Felis doesn't go into government buildings.

[hissing sound]

- We can't go to the hospital, okay?

Right now. We are on a list.

- Ready? - OMG.

- It's vibrating.

- Okay, okay, no hospitals.

I will take you--

I know a place I can take you.

He's in New Jersey.

In New Jersey.

- I'm glad to see you again, Ramy.

RAMY: Yes, I say the same.

Everything okay with you?

- [speaks in Arabic]

- Yes. uh... [speaks in Arabic]

- I cleaned the area, but I can't get the diamond out

until my assistant brings tools.

- Eh, no, no, no.

We can't get the diamond.

must remain intact

for Silvak to complete his journey, so--

- I understand. SILVAK: Hmm.

That rug is beautiful.

I buy it. - Its not for sale.

Yasmina bought it for me.

It is the first rug on which we pray together.

When she still wanted to have children.

- Really? Do you want to talk about it now?

SILVAK: Hey.

I can get you a son.

I'll get you one for the rug.

- No.

- Okay.

Can we talk there?

RAMY: Is Silvak okay?

- What about all this?

- I mean your health.

Look, I'm sorry, man. He had nowhere to go.

- What are you doing, old man?

Who are these people? What are they?

It is literally a bestiality.

- They are beings, okay?

And he is an important client.

If the deal goes well,

I will open a new market for my business.

- What about my business?

This is not how I practice medicine.

It is unsafe and unhealthy.

I don't even want to ask you

why that "thing" can't go to the hospital.

- You cannot enter official buildings.

I do not know the reason.

You didn't give me the details, okay?

And I didn't ask because he seems like a nice guy.

He's trying to help you and Yasmina

with the theme of the son.

I know that has you stressed.

- I don't want help from the "lord of the rings".

- Don't say that, it's super offensive.

It's like someone yelling "Bin Laden" at us.

That's not--

Look, I'm sorry.

Just, can you--?

Let me do the right thing.

- Did you lose your mind?

I'm not a f*cking mob doctor.

I don't even know where that money came from.

I dont trust him. I do not trust you.

- This has nothing to do with that.

Please let me pay you.

Let me help you for the trouble.

- What is your plan?

Because it seems that your boss is a f*cking elf.

SILVAK: ¿Frames?

I'm waiting.

- Ah.

- I obey.

[rock music]

- I'm about to destroy Brick City Slayer.

But before that,

let me congratulate best friend,

a guy too cool to stand up,

the Remote Control Demon,

¡Stevie Wheels!

Where are you, Steve?

Wow, the guy must have joined his ancestors.

Rest in power.

A round of applause for Stevie Wheels, the best.

- Every time I'm not going somewhere,

Everyone thinks I'm dead

It's sad.

- Let's accept this moment together.

We will exhale it.

- [inhales and exhales deeply]

[both hacen "om"]

[both hum theme from The Office]

♪ ♪

STEVE: Lena, can I ask you something?

LENA: Mm.

- Why don't you drive?

- I get dizzy. - You get dizzy? It's okay.

- Yes. RAMY: Are you okay?

SILVAK: Thank you Ramy. RAMY: Don't worry.

The stone looks powerful.

Looks great.

OK. Wait here.

Hey friend.

- Term.

RAMY: What? - The fight is over.

- Dude, I'm sorry. It seems that all--

all this led

longer than I thought.

- I don't see you for a year,

and you go out with this sh*t?

- The only time you called me

It's because you needed a f*cking driver

because your girlfriend can't drive,

what doesn't make sense.

If there is a requirement

for your girlfriend, it would be the driver's license.

- Lena is good and funny.

And think of others.

- I think I'm thinking of The Office.

- Steve told me all about you.

I know exactly who you are.

[speaks in Arabic]

- The Uber is here. Meow. Bye.

- Emotional defeat of the sorcerer and his elf.

Handsome.

STEVE: Come home safe. Do not worry about me.

[line playing]

- Hey, Juval.

What is the name of the place you told me about?

Yes, send me a message.

[whistle]

- We only have one girl, okay?

¡Olivia!

- What do you like?

SINGER: [sings in Arabic]

♪ ♪