02x10 - Reptar on Ice/Family Feud

[bunniefuu]

[ Gasps]

No, no, no.

That's angelica's breakfast,
sweetie.

Uh-huh.

Babies aren't allowed

To eat reptar cereal.

It's only for us
groaned-up people.

Morning.

Huh?

"Sugar. Benzo-sorbate.

Artificial sweeteners,
rehydrogenated cardboard bits."

Hey, deed, there's
no actual food in here.

That's all she'll eat.

Blech. Nifty lizard, though.

That's reptar.

He's a tired-o-saurus wrecked.

That's a kind of dinosaur.

They're the biggest animals
in the world.

They ate dogs and cats

And sometimes
even little babies.

This reptar guy's
a pretty tough customer.

Yeah, but don't worry about him

'Cause all the dinosaurs
are dead now.

They got hit by a comet

And turned into tonsils.

Tonsils?

I think she means
fossils, dear.

Well, that's a relief.

You guys...

I got some bad news.

What?what?

Reptar's gone.

Where did he go?

He got hit on the head

By something called a comet
and turned into a tonsil.

What's a tonsil?

I don't know,
but it's nothing good.

Maybe we can turn him
back into reptar.

No. Once you turn into a tonsil,
that's it.

I'm never going
to see reptar again.

Don't feel bad, tommy.

Maybe it's not true.

Maybe reptar's not a tonsil.

Maybe he's just hiding.

Chuckie, that's it--
he's hiding

And we got to find him.

Ohh... I did it again.

Nope, no dinosaurs out here.

Wait. We haven't even
looked yet.

I don't think you have to look.

I think when there's a dinosaur
around

You can't miss it.

Uh... Reptar?

Wow.

Wait.

I thought reptar was bigger.

Me too.

Hmm.

I don't think that's reptar,
tommy.

It looks like reptar,
but it's too little.

Hey, maybe
it's reptar's baby.

Reptar's baby?

Wow.

Get it.

Wow. Get it.

I got him.

Got it.

[ Sighs]

Tommy!

It's your mom!

What are you kids

Doing out here?

Oh...

Which of you responsible adults
left the door open

So the kids could get out?

Where did reptar go?

And why did he leave
his baby here?

Reptar on ice!

♪ Reptar! He's gonna get you,
gonna get you... ♪

What's he doing
on the television?

The most dazzling
ice extravaganza of the year.

Reptar on icecomes
to the country coliseum

March , , and .

♪ Reptar.

People must have
mush for brains

To go see that pablum.

In my day,
dinosaurs didn't skate

With a bunch of ninnies
in costumes.

In his day,
dinosaurs were real.

I heard that.

I don't understand

This thing with dinosaurs.

Couldn't they pick a nice animal

Like a panda or a teddy bear?

When was the last time

A panda rampage
destroyed a major city?

I think reptar on ice
sounds like a blast.

Let's take the kids.

We're going
to see reptar.

Hear that, little guy?

We're going to find your dad.

Then he can smash down
buildings.

Yeah, and steal chickens.

Chuckie seems
awfully antsy today.

He's probably
just excited.

When we were kids,
chaz squirmed a lot too.

Stu, you'd better
get the tickets out.

Tickets.

Oh, stu. You didn't
lose the tickets?

On the other hand,
we could go bowling.

Still got him?

I think he's under my arm now.

Whew.

Why did you put
the tickets in there?

It seemed like
a good idea.

Leo, you're a role model
in that costume.

A mutant dinosaur
that tears down cities

And steals chickens
is a role model?

No wonder the world's
in such crummy shape.

You got a gentle, human side.

That's why the girl
falls in love with you.

Perfect example
of how sorry this show is.

The real reptar would never
have a romantic encounter

With a girl reporter.

The real reptar?

You've been playing
this part too long.

Finally something
we can agree on.

Harry, I don't know why
I took this job.

I can't skate.

I don't like kids,
and if you want to know

Lizards give me the creeps

And that goes
for your amphibians too.

The paper said if you see

Just one skating dinosaur
spectacular this year

Reptar on iceis it.

I just hope it's not
too scary for the kids.

Maybe they'll
play hockey.

Shh! It's starting.

Ladies and gentlemen

This is the moment
you've all been waiting for.

This is...
Reptar... On... Ice!

[ Broadway fanfare playing]

Here, you keep
baby reptar for a while.

He keeps going
down my pants.

Halt.

[ All gasping]

I...

Am... Reptar!

Now, that's entertainment.

♪ I'm just a dinosaur

♪ I don't know what I'm for

♪ I like to stomp and roar.

Hey! I'm just a dinosaur!

Hey, tommy, are we going
to give reptar his baby now?

No, not yet.

He seems kind of busy.

Brilliance.

Sheer brilliance.

[ Yawning]

♪ They say he's a menace

♪ But I love him

♪ Sure he smashes cities,
but I love him. ♪

[ Weeping]

Tommy, we better
give reptar his baby

Before he falls asleep too.

Maybe you're right.

Come on, let's go.

♪ I love him, yes, I love him,
yes, I love him ♪

♪ He may be a dumb old dinosaur,
but I love him. ♪

Oh, no!

Tommy... He's gone.

♪ Reptar, reptar,
got to find that reptar.♪

♪ Reptar, reptar,
did you see a reptar?♪

♪ Reptar, reptar...♪

[ Sighs]

Well,
only , performances to go.

But tommy,
where could he have gone?

I don't know but he's
got to be here somewhere.

♪ Reptar, reptar, boy, oh, boy,
is he in trouble...♪

Look! There!

♪ Here I am
♪ you can stop looking now.

♪ Reptar.

Ooh, come on.

♪ Reptar,
you have come back to me. ♪

♪ Yes, dear,
indeed I have. ♪

Audience:
aw...

Both:
♪ the wonder of life

♪ When a lizard takes a wife

♪ It's almost too much to bear

♪ And now every morning
when I wake, dear ♪

♪ I will see your smiling
happy face, dear ♪

♪ Until the end of time.

♪ Dinosaur, dinosaur ♪

♪ Ancient enemy of man♪

♪ You will pay for your
destructive tendencies♪

♪ You will pay for our travail♪

♪ Dinosaur, dinosaur,
ancient...♪

Tommy!

♪ ...enemy of man♪

♪ You won't get off
with a slap on the wrist♪

♪ There's a possibility
you might go to jail...♪

Someday I'll look back on this
and laugh.

Reptar:
my love!

Chorus:
♪ you will pay... ♪

Bride:
♪ reptar!

♪ My love!

Oh... No!

♪ Reptar.

♪ My love.

[ Music stops]

Quick, do something.

I...

Uh...

♪ Hey, look, it's some kids
on the ice. ♪

♪ What's a dinosaur to do
when there's kids on the ice? ♪

♪ Quick!
Somebody call their mom! ♪

Hey, stu. Stu!

Is that tommy out there?

Huh? What?

Tommy!

Didi, the kids are on the ice.

My goodness. What are they
doing out there?

It's not in the program,

Hey, kid,
what are you doing out here?

♪ I'm going to see
who the kid is. ♪

So what have you got
in your hand there?

Yah! Get it away from me.

[ Bride screaming]

[ Crashing]

What are you doing out here?

[ Giggles]

Audience:
aw...

[ Applause]

[ Howling]

[ Growling]

Looks like he turned
into an aminal.

Yeah, like a wolf
or something.

A horse? A dog?

A cow? A reindeer?

A pinata.

A pinata?

This is charades. No talking.

I'm not sure you should be
making those noises either.

[ Growling]

Why's he doing that?

He must have got something
in his pants.

A lizard?

[ Howling]

Oh, a wolf.

Yes!

Stu, that's cheating.

No sweat, deed.

They'll never make it.

Chuckie:
now he's dancing with himself.

I don't get it.

Wolftrot. "Skip to my wolf."

Stepping on wolves.

Ah! Steppenwolf!

Time. It's dances with wolves.

Oh...

I never saw that movie.

I don't like musicals.

It isn't a musical, imbecile!

Now, dear, it's only a game.

Why am I always teamed up
with howard?

Are you calling me an imbecile?

Very good, howard.

That only took seconds.

I don't have to stay
and be insulted.

I'm going to go home
and do some filing!

Fine! I've had enough
of this stupid game anyway!

Hey, why's daddy leaving?

And why was
everyone yelling?

I don't know.

I don't like it.

I don't like it at all.

Men.

They're just like overgrown
children sometimes.

You said it.

The way that husband
of yours overreacted

Was really something.

Well, your howard was
a little slow on the uptake.

What are you getting at?

Stu was flailing around
like a lunatic.

A lunatic?

It's not stu's fault
howard hasn't seen a movie

Since chitty chitty bang bang.

I like chitty chitty bang bang!

I'm not going to listen to you
insult my taste in movies.

Well!
Uh-oh.

What do you think
he's doing?

I don't know,
but he's sure been acting funny

Since he had that fight
with phil and lil's daddy.

Betty wants her
gardening equipment back?

Fine, take it.

Tell her to return
my recipe cards.

Whatever you say, didi.

Be right back.

What you doing, stu?

I'm building a fence
to keep out the fatheads.

You mean betty and howard?

Do you know

Any other fatheads?

Boy, tommy, your mom
and dad are pretty mad

At phil and lil's
mom and dad.

And I don't think

That phil and lil
will come over and play anymore.

Too bad we can't

Make the grownups
be friends again.

I know.

The hello-phone!

Whenever my mommy uses it

Phil and lil's mom
comes right over.

How does it work?

You just push these buttons.

[ Phone rings]

Brad?

[ Babbling]

Oh, brad, I love it

When you talk like a baby.

Let's try again.

[ Beeping]

Congratulations.

This is radical radio.

You've won $ , .

Stay on the line...

[ Hangs up]

This won't work.

There are too many buttons.

Just try one more.

[ Phone rings]

[ Didi gasping]

What are you doing?

What's it to you, di..?

[ Dial tone]

That gal's got a lot of nerve.

[ Phone rings]

Hello.

Real mature, didi.

Aren't we a little old
for prank phone calls?

What?

[ Dial tone]

Ooh, that woman
makes me so angry.

What happened, tommy?

I don't know

But I think
we made things worse.

Wait a minute.

When my mommy and daddy
get mad at each other

Daddy brings mommy a present.

That always makes
the fight stop.

You think we should give
phil and lil's mom a present?

Yeah, but it's got to be
something really good.

How about a teddy bear
or a box of worms?

Nah. This has to be
extra-super good.

Wait!

I got a idea.

Wow...
Whoo...

My mom really
likes these.

I bet phil and lil's mom
would like them too.

Are you sure
your mom won't mind?

Course not.

She wants to be friends

With phil and lil's mom.

We just got
to help them out.

Betty wants her ultimate
aerobicsworkout tape back.

Hmm.

Hiya, chuckie.

You want to come with me--

Spend some time
with phil and lil?

Tell her I want my tupperware
sampler pack back.

[ Sighs]

Both:
ooh!

Me and tommy thought

If your mom got a present
from tommy's mom

Then they could
be friends again.

Wow!

That's a beautiful present.

Yeah. Mommy will love it.

Let's put it someplace
where she'll find it.

Come on.

Betty:
thanks for the tape, chuck.

Can I interest you
in a cup of joe?

Charles:
just the tupperware, thanks.

[ Sniffing]

Whew!

This one's been in here

Since our
bicentennial party.

I got it, chuckie.

It's perfect!

Take that back to tommy's

And the grownups
will stop fighting.

What is it?

It's a time.

Grownups wear it,
and they go...

Both:
look at the time!

Oh.

Betty, don't you think
this silly fight

Has gone on long enough?

When the pickles
are ready to apologize

I'm ready
to watch them grovel.

Oh, howard, they're beautiful!

Huh?

The earrings!

And I was sure
you'd forgotten our anniversary.

Of course not, dear.

I'd never forget
our anniversary again

Not after what happened
last year.

Silly dear.

Sure glad you like them.

What was she keeping in here,
rotting fish sticks?

Look, guys, I still
don't know how this began

But don't you
think it's time

You people got over
this silly feud?

I'd be happy to call it off

If what's-his-name next door
would do one thing.

What's that?

Erect a -foot billboard

On his lawn that says
"home of the fatheads."

At least I'm getting
plenty of exercise.

This is my daddy's
favorite chair.

He'll see the time here.

I hope this works, tommy.

I'm tired
of the grownups fighting.

Me too.

I want to play
with phil and lil again.

It's not so important
who started it

As who's mature enough
to stop it.

Right, chaz.

Why don't you
check out a few more

Mr. Rogersreruns?

Hey, deed, where did this watch
come from?

Must belong to pop.

Kind of nice.

Well, maybe I'll head
back to the yard

To reinforce
that new fence.

Charles:
it sure is a great day
for a stroll in the park.

I just know...

Oh, no.

Hi, betty.
Hi, howard.

Both:
hello, charles.

What are theydoing here?

They probably brought
their kids to play.

That is so like them.

We won't let them
ruin ourday.

Come on, stu.

Seems like they'll let
just about anybody

In the park these days.

You're so right, dear.

At least some of us know how
to behave in a civilized...

My earrings!

Those are my favorite earrings!

Howard gave me these.

Hey, that's my watch!

You're mad!
It belongs to my father!

I never suspected you'd steal.

Betty a thief?

That's an absurd
proposition!

You'rean absurd
proposition!

[ All yelling]

Aren't they ever going
to stop being mad?

Doesn't look like it.

We might never ever get to go
to each other's houses again.

Maybe we got to run away.

Run away?

Yeah, to some place

Where we can play together
all the time

Some magical land
where people don't fight

And everyone lives in peace.

Where's that?

I think maybe it's over there
by that trash can.

@Bout the timeyou bent my putter?!

Didi:
and another thing, betty--
don't forget the time...

The kids!

Where are the kids?!
[ Arguing]

Don't you see
what you've done?!

While you've been
bringing up every petty
difference from your past

You've forgotten
about your children

The most important thing
in your insignificant lives!

You ought to be ashamed!
Charles is right.

Our behavior
has been disgusting.

I'm a failure,
and I've let everybody down.

Why, I should be...

Whine later, little man.

We got to find the kids.

Let's go.

[ Groaning]

Huh?

Thanks, didi.

Don't mention it, howard.

Hmm.

[ Water running]

[ Groaning]

If only I could get up there,
I could see the playground.

Let me give you a leg up, stu.

Betty, quick, they're
over there by the trash can!

This way!

They're near the trash can!

My heavens.

There could be broken glass
in there.

Wait for me!

[ Clamoring]

[ Giggling]

Thanks, betty.

You saved the day.

It was stu who spotted them.

I guess we've all learned
a lesson here, haven't we?

When you get caught up
in petty differences

You forget what's
really important in life.

Ain't it the truth, deed.

I am ashamed that I acted
like such a stubborn mule.

I'm sorry
I called you a fathead.

How about
a fresh cup of joe?

I'll bring the monopoly set

And, howard, I'd be honored
to have you as my partner.

Wait a minute.

You called me a fathead?