The goblins have suffered
long enough, Xergiok!
Shush!
You guys can't live
without me, right?
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
You got problems, man.
Bah!
♪ Wands are for wimps! ♪
You may have beaten
me this time, but...
Ow!
Ha ha! Yeah!
And stay out, muffin top!
Finn and Jake!
Finn and Jake! Finn and Jake!
Nyah, great job, warriors.
You've freed us.
I am Gummy, Royal
Goblin Chief of staff.
Nice to meet you.
Nyah!
I-I-I'm sorry.
I have not known a friendly
touch in some time.
You see, Xergiok loved
to be a jerk to us.
It's spankin' time!
Yea-a-a-a-h!
Yeah!
Yea-a-a-a-a-h!
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Aw, heck, Maria.
I need to ask you something.
Do you want to do this
marriage thing with me?
Aww!
Oh, my love, the answer is yes.
Boom!
Congratulations.
Oh!
W-we need a good King to
rule us, like you, mayhaps?
Oh, yeah!
You should do it!
Yeah, be their King.
No, man.
I'm an Adventurer fo' life.
If there isn't a King to
tell me not to start a riot,
I-I could start a riot, then.
No rules, baby!
Start that riot!
Riot! Flip this table!
No one can tell me no!
Aah!
Please, Finn. We need a King!
Stop the riot!
I'll become your King... to
save y'all from yourselves.
We have a new King!
Hey, Finn's gonna need a Queen.
I'll do it.
Allow me to show you the
grounds, your Majesties.
Show me what we got, Gummy.
Show it to me!
Dude, I'm psyched!
Yeah.
The Goblin Birthing
Pits, your majesties.
I'm being born!
That's pretty neat.
The Garden of Living Fountains.
Whoo! Awesome!
The Royal Game Archive,
complete with controller hats.
Ooh!
The Royal Dragon Stables.
Oh!
Whoa.
And, finally, the royal bedroom,
with king-sized bed for
the royal couple.
Could you make that a bunk bed?
Yes, my Queen.
Whisper Dan!
I call the top!
And I call...
Wait!
For you, great King, the
book of royal rules.
Mm. Sounds boring.
Oh, no worries, my Liege.
I'll read it to you.
Hey, Jake.
You want to stay awake
and hear some rules?
All right, lay it on me, Gummy.
"Introduction, colon, the 623
royal rules were established
in Moon Year 16, in response to
elder Gorflox's repeated request
for an organized response..."
Awaken, your highness!
No way, dude.
Your Excellency, let's go.
We have much to do.
Whoo!
This is where you may perform
your daily processes, my King.
Whoa!
Look at that huge mirror!
And it's painted baby blue...
Boys style!
Come, Sire.
It is time to brush your teeth
in front of the "boys
style" mirror.
Whoo! Awesome!
Oh, no, no, no, your majesty!
Please! Let us brush your teeth!
Kyah!
Whoa, ease up, dudes.
Finn access only.
Aah! He's a rule breaker!
Don't spank us too hard!
Spare them, your majesty!
Spank me instead!
Set my buttocks ablaze!
Guys, what are you
talking about?
Rule one, "the King shall
not brush his own teeth,"
in the book of royal rules
I read to you last night.
Oh! Oh.
Guys, put your hams away.
Wha?!
I'm not gonna spank your hams.
I'm not that kind of King.
So, then, we may brush
your teeth, my Lord?
You can brush my teeth I guess.
Yay!
Oh.
This brunch looks great.
Can't wait to dig in.
Uh, I will out that,
your highness.
Gummy, as King, I order
you to let me out it.
I'm sorry, Sire.
The royal rules don't allow it.
I'm cutting it, Gummy!
No!
Thank you, Gummy.
Uh, a thousand pardons, my Lord.
You're not going to
chew that, are you?
Yeah.
I'm sorry, Sire.
The royal rules don't allow it.
Gummy, just let me do this.
No one will know.
I would know.
Uh, Jake, this is nuts.
Maybe, but rules are rules.
Master, eat your food.
I chewed it thoroughly and
heated it to goblin body
temperature.
I'm not hungry, Gummy.
You look a little bit down.
Would you like me
to weep for you?
No, Gummy. It's just...
Sire! Sire!
There's trouble in Town Square!
A thief!
A thief? Yes!
I'll handle it!
No, sire!
The King is not
allowed to fight.
He must give a
speech to the thief.
That is the royal
rule, my Liege.
There's the thief!
Give me them hot buns, Lady!
Hey, thief!
I got a speech for yo... no!
The royal speaker
must give the speech.
What?!
You see?
Since the dawn of time, the
balance of what is right and
what is wrong has
come into question...
I'll take this.
Yes, you can feel it
slowly working, eh?
Oh, no! Aah!
I can't let this go on!
Gimme!
Hands off, thief!
Ha!
Here you go, old lady.
Oh, no! The new King!
Just as cruel as the last King.
Hi... Yo... what?
Oh, King, we beg you not
to slay the old lady.
Don't hurt us!
No, wait!
Don't slay me!
You may keep the hot
buns, your majesty!
I'm ready for my spanking,
Mr. Xergiok part two.
We're ready for our
spanking, Sire!
♪ I just want to help
y'all as much as I can ♪
♪ And y'all just keep showing
me your goblin hams ♪
♪ When I became King ♪
♪ I didn't think y'all
would show me your rears ♪
♪ But I'll accept my boring
fate and shed this tear ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't seem to cure
you of your groundless fears ♪
No! No more spankings!
Aah!
Gummy, don't be afraid.
I'm gonna stick to
the rules now, okay?
My Lord, I'm sorry,
y-you haven't heard?
Xergiok is returning
with an evil army!
Come look... through the scope.
You see?
Prepare to destroy them all!
Oh!
If I defeat Xergiok as King, I
can prove to the goblins that an
active King can be a good King.
But I can't let them know
until it's all over.
Stay fainted, Gummy.
Oh!
Whisper Dan, have you seen Jake?
I'm in here.
Xergiok's back with an
army of earclopses.
Let's bust them up!
All right, man.
How do we do this?
Hmm.
What if they figure it out?
No way, man.
I'm going to be honest
with you, King Finn.
When I'm scared, I feel
most safe in your lap.
Line up for your
spankings, Goblins!
Oh! Too late... In my pants!
Jake, the goblins can't
see me being un-Kingly.
I need a disguise.
Jump in my mouth!
Yah!
Who among you has the
courage to face Xergiok?!
Shut your kissing hole, Xergiok!
It's time for a b*ating!
I salute you, foolish warrior!
You can be my personal sla...
Whoa! Whoa!
Wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow!
How in the world?!
Dude, no one uses earclopses
in battle without earplugs.
Eat this!
Pow! Pow! Pow!
Whoa!
Ha ha! You missed me!
Oh, great King.
With the help of
a brave soldier,
you thwarted the evil Xergiok.
Huzzah!
Come on, dude.
Let's get out of here.
Aww.
All right.
Well, looks like they got the
King they wanted, buddy.
Yup.
And we're going
home to adventure.
Mm-hmm.
High five us, dude.
Hey, Jake?
What?
Why do the insides of
you smell like vanilla?
Oh. A wizard put a curse on me.
Huh. Neat.