04x04 - Ransomgram/Lake House Fever

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music plays]

It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird, gonna have a good time I ain't from round here, I'm from another woo-hoo Yea-ah I'm talking rainbows, I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-puh-p-u-u-uh It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension Hey, Star, Meteora keeps leaving these headless dolls in my bed, and I'm pretty sure this one has a mole.

Oh, you brought your room back.

- Yup.

- What happened to this being temporary? It's still temporary.

Just, uh, you know, a longer temporary than I thought.

Oh, man, I don't wanna sleep in the dungeon alone.

Oh, don't worry.

I gotcha.

[gasps]

Are you gonna do the thing? I'm gonna do the thing.

You're doing the thing! I'm doing the thing! Sparkle glitter b*mb expand! After you.

Wow! I can't believe how much I missed all my stuff! Everything's here! [gasps]

My favorite Mackie Hand poster, El Choppo! Looking good, buddy.

[gasps]

Oh! The new line of Princess Turdina merch! Let's dismantle the patriarchy! Star, this is amazing.

[laughs]

I know, but don't mention it.

[nearby panting]

[panting]

Ooh.

Is this Marco Diaz's room? Yeah, that's me.

Oh! Thank goodness! I have been looking for Marco Diaz's room for months! [pants]

I got a ransomgram for you.

- Uh, what? - Uh, yeah.

It's a ransomgram, you know, it's a funny little song about how somebody stole something you love, and they're holding it - for ransom.

- What? You stole our sword So we stole your dragoncycle So bring back the sword And we'll return your dragoncycle Sincerely, the Neverzonians [panting]

Finally.

Oh, my gosh.

Nachos is in trouble! I gotta save her! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where are you going? To the Neverzone! And then maybe to talk to Hekapoo about telling me when she loses my dragoncycle.

Wait, you're going to that weird future dimension where you're all buff and rugged? I am in! Ugh I don't know, Star.

I went through some really tough times in that place.

It's more treacherous than other dimensions.

Right.

Right, r-r-right, yes.

I see your point, but consider abs! Ugh.

Okay, fine.

[thunder crashes]

Abs dimension! The Neverzone is on the other side of the Afflicted Forest.

We'll never make it there on foot.

Oh, summoning Cloudy Ca No! We can't fly here.

There's wild lightning roaming the trees.

[thunder crashes]

Yeah, that lightning looks pretty wild.

Aww! Is that a fairy? - [fairy shrieks]

- [gasps]

Marco Diaz! The fairies here are just like mosquitoes.

They make a great summoning charm.

[tree moans]

[moaning continues]

[trees moaning]

Uh, Marco, what is going on? [Star]

Aah! [gasps]

Whoa! [Star]

She's so cool! That's Brunzetta.

We quested together for a while.

Oh, so you mean quested, or, like "quested"? [Brunzetta]

Marco Diaz! [giggles nervously]

- As I live and breathe! - Ah! [laughs]

Good to see you, old friend.

[gibbering]

Who's this? Brunzetta, this is my best friend, Star.

Oh! [laughs]

Yammy here told me all about you.

Wait, "Yammy"? Oh, one time, Marco insulted a necromancer's cooking.

He got turned into a yam for a whole year.

Brunzetta, now's not the time! We need a ride to the Neverzone.

Right.

I heard those savages got Nachos.

You gonna give them El Choppo? What do you think? - [laughs]

- [grunts]

Classic Yammy! [Brunzetta]

And then there was this time we fought a giant scorpion made entirely of skulls.

I was just about to chop its head off, when Yammy got the brilliant idea to light it on fire! How was I supposed to know that fire makes it stronger? Wow, Marco.

You've never told me about any of these adventures.

It's not all adventure, Star.

There's a lot I wanna forget, but I can never forget the Neverzone.

I spent a whole year lost in this frozen wasteland.

In all that time, those cruel Neverzonians sat in their glittering ice castle never offering me so much as a blanket to warm my cold, rippling deltoids.

Wow.

You really have been through some tough times out here.

Finding El Choppo was the one happy moment in that whole dark, bleak chapter of my life.

I won't let them take it away.

- [distant moaning]

- [Marco gasps]

It's not safe to linger here.

We have to go.

Hyah! Wait a minute, is this the glittering ice castle you were talking about? It's all melty.

I guess time really did a number on this place.

You brought the sword.

Where's Nachos? The one you call "Nachos" will be returned when you release the Neverblade.

I'm not giving you anything until I see her.

[weakly growls]

Nachos! What did they do to you, girl? Put our sword in here and we will return your precious Nachos.

If you want El Choppo, you'll have to take it from me.

Very well.

[haunting howls]

[snarling]

- Aah! - Aah! Yah! Ha ha! Unh! Who's next? Can I be next? [shrieks]

Oh, right.

Narwhal blast! [hissing cough]

[growling]

[shrieks]

[grunting]

[kisses]

Let's ride.

Right behind you! Yah! [laughs]

[Star]

Whoo-hoo! We just escaped death! [Marco laughs]

Mm, and then I said, that's "Nacho" bike.

Marco, we were there, and you never said that.

[laughing]

[sighs]

Winning is great.

Indeed! Those Neverzonians deserve to have their castle melted every night.

They sure do.

Wait, what are you talking about? I thought you knew.

When you stole the Neverblade you freed a fire demon that's been terrorizing them for centuries.

You stole El Choppo? What? No.

I didn't steal it.

I I found it.

No one was using it.

It was just stuck in an ancient statue very deliberately, and [gasps]

Oh, no.

I totally stole it, didn't I? I have to go back.

What?! No! That place is horrible! - [distant screaming]

- [Marco, Star gasp]

[Neverzonians screaming]

[screaming continues]

[fire demon growls]

- [screaming]

- [demon growling]

Okay, this shouldn't take too long.

[roars]

Don't worry, Marco! I got this! [grunts]

Cupcake blast! Aah! Oof! Waah! [demon shrieks]

[demon screeches]

- Yah! - [shrieks]

[grunts]

Now, Yammy! [growling]

[Marco grunts]

Aah! - Huh? - Star, run! Aah! [snorts, exclaims]

[demon shrieking]

[thuds]

I helped! Star, are you okay? Uh, yeah.

We defeated the beast.

- We sure did.

- [Star giggles]

- [chuckles]

- [rumbling]

Hurry, take El Choppo and run! We'll handle this.

Oh, El Choppo.

We've really had quite a run, haven't we, old friend? I remember this one time Marco, no time! Hurry up! Seriously, dude? [fire demons roars]

Oh, right.

Aah! [fire demon shrieks]

- [Marco sighs]

- [Brunzetta laughs]

I haven't seen a fight like that in ages.

Yeah, just like old times.

Indeed.

Well, until we meet again, Yammy.

[chuckles]

Brunzetta out! [sighs]

Bye, Brunzetta! Please don't forget about me.

What? [Neverzonians moaning]

The beast has been defeated! You can all finally relax.

Took you long enough.

That demon may be gone, but our castle is still a hot mess.

My crops are all fried, man.

Well, dang, ungrateful.

Come on, tough guy, let's go home.

Here, take these until I get back.

Back? Back from where? I may have returned El Choppo, but that doesn't make up for the thousands of years of terror that I inflicted upon these poor creatures.

I'm going to stay, and help them rebuild their castle.

What? No, Marco.

You don't have to do this.

You're a good person.

You just made a mistake.

I can't run from my misdeeds, Star.

I must make right with these wraiths.

Until then, I won't be right with me.

[cries]

Oh, Marco.

You are, like, so hot right now! [inhales]

I know.

Oh! Aah! [grunts]

[Nachos lightly roars]

Oh, Nachos, I'm really gonna miss him.

[sighs]

Whoo! - Marco! - Star? Is that you? [sighs]

It's been so long.

Uh, but I have so much to tell you! The castle's all finished, I learned to speak Merman, I got my first gray hair, I taught a group of underprivileged gnomes how to dance.

Aww, welcome home, Yammy.