03x07 - The Dead

[bunniefuu]

The Dead

MAN (drunkenly): ♪ Meet you all the way ♪ Yeah, ah

(humming)

♪ Take you all the way
♪ Do-do-do
♪ Rosanna, yeah
♪ Take you all the way

(song plays in the background)

♪ Ooh-hoo-hoo

(laughs)

♪ Oh, yeah
♪ Take you all the way
♪ Oh, yeah...

Seriously.

Toto is amazing.

Toto sucktitude.

I will not argue about this, bro.

Toto is amazeballs.

Shut up about your incredibly gay crush on your incredibly gay band and get over it.

(scat singing)

Seriously. Kyle, what are you gonna get?

Look, check mine out.

I see.

It means "Beginning and End."

You know, dude, most of those don't even mean what the chart on the wall says they mean.

You might have "I'm a freaking idiot" on your leg right now.

(laughter) Seriously. You're going to go out for Chinese food in a pair of shorts, and the whole wait staff is gonna be laughing their asses off at you.

BILLY: What the hell does "Beginning and End" mean, even if that is what it says?

JIM: It's my life philosophy. It means, live right g*dd*mn now.

You're full of sh*t.

(laughter)

Yeah, seriously, Kyle, get something.

No, dude. My mom would k*ll me. Oh, it's cool.

Oh, I'd totally bang her to take her mind off of it.

(laughs)

Oh, I got plans.

I'm not going to grow up and work for Daddy, or sell pot to undergrads all my life.

You guys know why the levees broke during Katrina?

'Cause the little Dutch boy ran out of fingers?

The levees were built by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

But they built them for sh*t.

And where I'm from still hasn't recovered, and probably never will.

BILLY: What in the hell does you getting a tattoo have to do with Katrina?

I'm going to be an engineer.

And I'm going to make sure sh*t like that never happens again.

I don't want to walk into some big meeting with a mayor or a governor and roll up my sleeves and have a little Saints logo

or a... or a Wile E. Coyote or anything that's gonna make him think that I'm anything other than his knight in shining armor.

I got one life, and I'm not wasting it.

I think it's a pretty cool idea, Kyle.

Thank you, Jimmy.

Thank you. Yeah, I do, too.

That's why I want to wish you the luck of the Irish.

I didn't know you were Irish. I'm not.

You can't drink or fight. You're a little bitch.

It looks good, right?

(crying)

(grunting)

(crying)

(loud sobbing)

(whimpering)

(yells, mutters)

(crying)

I... (panting)

Ooh. Wh...?

(panting)

(slow, labored footsteps)

What am I...?

(crying)

MADISON: I am a Millennial.Generation Y.

Born between the birthof AIDS and / , give or take.

They call us"the Global Generation."

We are known for ourentitlement and narcissism.

Some say it's becausewe're the first generation where every kid gets a trophyjust for showing up.

Others think it's becausesocial media allows us to post every time we fartor have a sandwich for all the world to see.

But it seemsthat our one defining trait is a numbness to the world, an indifference to suffering.

I know I did anythingI could to not feel.

Sex, dr*gs, booze.

Just take away the pain.

Take away my mother andmy assh*le father and the press

and all the boys I lovedwho wouldn't love me back.

Hell, I was g*ng r*ped,and two days later, I was back in classlike nothing happened.

Most people never get overstuff like that, and I was, like,"Let's go for Jamba Juice."

I would give everythingI have or will ever have just to feel pain again,to hurt.

Thank God for Minor LeagueFiona and her herb garden.

One advantage of beingkind of dead is that you don't haveto sweat warning labels.

There was this one brown liquid that I thought made my nipplestingle for a second, but I think

it was psychosomatic, because I polished off the restof it and didn't feel sh*t.

I tried every eye of newtand wing of fly until I found somethingthat made me not look like Marilyn Manson

anymore.

(sighs)

And that's the rub of allof this, isn't it?

I can't feel sh*t.

I can't feel anything.

We think that painis the worst feeling.

It isn't.

How can anything be worse than this eternal silenceinside of me?

I used to not eat for days.

Or eat like crazy, and then stick my fingersdown my throat.

Now, no matter how muchI binge, I can't fill this holeinside me.

I can't take it anymore.

I think I'm going batshit.

I need to do something.

(crying)

Hey.

(muttering)

(whimpers)

You know how this has to go, right?

(quiet muttering)

You were a great guy, Kyle.

But you d*ed.

(grunts) I didn't let you go when I should have.

(panting)

I don't understand my power yet.

(gasps)

It's new.

I used it to bring you back.

(crying)

You k*lled your mother, Kyle.

(sobbing)

There's only one way left to fix this.

(grunting)

(gasps)

(yelling)

(grunting)

(yelling)

(whimpering)

(mutters)

No!

(grunting)

(panting)

(muttering)

(crying)

No.

(sobbing)

I don't want you to die.

(Kyle groans)

g*dd*mn nothing!

I heard a noise.

Thought we had vermin.

Ain't no self-respecting rat gonna live here.

Ain't nothin' to eat.

Nonsense. These larders are bursting to full.

Well, that is disappointing.

I was feeling a tad peckish myself.

MAN: Welcome to Jumpin' Jacks.

May I take your order?

Who said that?

Girl, relax. It's just a guy at the window.

Let me get two Jumpin' Jacks with cheese, two fries, large, and two strawberry cyclones.

Would you care to super size your order for $ . ?

Do we dare?

(laughs)

Hell, yeah!

Lord in heaven, the most delicious food I have eaten in my entire life!

And that's saying something.

(laughs)

I know, right?

I'm starting to understand why you're so enormous.

You're not exactly svelte yourself, okay?

I didn't mean to give offense.

Yeah, but you do, Miss Daisy.

All the damn time.

It's this century.

It still does perplex me so.

You think I'm any less perplexed?

I dragged my ass all the way here from Detroit to be with my, quote, "sister witches."

And instead, I'm sitting in a fast-food parking lot at : in the morning with an immortal r*cist.

(laughs)

How did that happen?

Those girls-- they're never gonna see you as their sister.

Let me guess. 'Cause I'm fat?

No, ma chère.

'Cause you're black.

Black as coal.

(phone ringing)

Hello?

sh*t. It's late.

Hank.

I miss you, baby.

I want to come home.

Go to bed, Hank.

I'll see you soon, baby.

CORDELIA: Delphine?

Delphine?

Delphine?

(soft thudding)

(footsteps)

Spalding?

Who is it?

I know you're there.

Whoa! Whoa! Hold it there!

Madison.

MADISON:Stop yelling at me!

Do it! Do it! Do it!

(screaming)

(gasps)

(gasps)

Oh, my God.

(gasps loudly)

Fiona.

I wasn't expecting company.

I wasn't expecting Buckingham Palace.

A woman like yourself deserves to be surrounded by beauty and grace.

(jazz plays)

Sit down.

All I have to offer is some decent bourbon, and hopefully, good company.

The reason for living was to get ready to stay dead a long time.

Faulkner.

As I Lay Dying.

I get it.

You're not just any old broke-down sax man, you're a college-educated one.

I've led a... solitary life.

(laughs)

Come on, you don't really expect me to believe that.

You know, when I was coming up in the clubs, uh... musicians weren't so respected.

Hmm.

They were considered, uh, poor, indigent, and had to be content, uh, being the back-door man... never invited to stay the night.

It's more dangerous that way.

Yeah.

And you like danger.

I can tell that about you.

And I like it.

Who's he?

We call him Prince.

Prince of the Ivories.

I hope you understand, Fiona, that this is a... a rare night, uh, a celestial creature like yourself, uh... gracing this humble abode.

In short... hot damn.

(both laughing)

You're gonna have to excuse me a minute.

It's not very inviting in there.

Yeah.

Ugh...

AXEMAN: Another bourbon?

Absolutely.

AXEMAN: Is the bourbon smooth enough?

(chuckles)

Women don't usually like a harsh whiskey.

Well, never assume anything about me.

My taste in whiskey, or... men.

May I assume... that you'd like to kiss me?

(whispering):

This was a mistake.

I ran out of sleeping pills.

It was a bad idea.

Don't go.

This is not just a one-night stand.

That is exactly what it is: a one-night stand.

It could be our destiny.

(laughing):

No...

Do you actually think my destiny is here in this roach-infested sh*thole?

Well, life is full of surprises.

Well, I've had enough surprises for two lifetimes.

I'm through with surprises.

Were you surprised that you wanted to kiss me?

Oh...

No, you don't want anything to do with me.

I am a wretched human being.

A miserable, mean g*dd*mn bitch, I always have been.

I've had three husbands.

I've destroyed every decent relationship I have ever had, including one with my daughter.

Love transforms.

Come on, you don't believe in love.

Okay, let's table love, then.

What about sex?

Good, old-fashioned, great sex.

(laughs)

You know, that's why I took up the saxophone.

You really are good with the ladies.

Oh, I'm good.

(laughs)

The joke was they always watched the bass player.

But they should've watched my fingers on the keys...

(giggles)

(playing jazz melody)

...my body in perfect synchronization...

(laughing)

...an extension of my instrument...

(plays low notes)

...no effort at all, just one with it.

The way my lips and tongue wrapped around my instrument was... impeccable.

My embouchure...

(laughing)

...that's how I calibrate, hit those clear, high notes.

(playing upbeat jazz)

(Fiona laughing)

(grunts)

I want to trust you, Kyle.

You need to learn how to communicate.

When you're hungry, when you're tired, when... when you feel like you might do something bad.

When you're hungry, I want you to say "food."

"Food."

Food.

Good.

When you're tired, you can say... you can say "bed."

Not!

S...

stupid.

I know you're not.

You're not stupid.

Mm-mm.

Everything you know, it... it's stuck in your head.

I'm trying to help you, so you can function like a person.

(screams)

No!

Stop. Shh.

(grunting, shouting)

Jesus, who's this?

Don't you remember?

It's Kyle.

We used a spell, brought him back to life?

You k*lled him.

Oh, uh... Cordelia wants to see you.

Uh, actually, that would be impossible, but she does want to talk.

She knows you're alive?

She knows a lot more than you think.

Go. I'll take care of him.

Huh?

Looks like we had to put you back together.

Lucky I picked out all the best pieces.

(shouts)

(yells)

You were dead.

So was I.

I didn't see a light, did you?

Mine was cold and dark... and then nothing.

But we both came back.

To this.

Somehow, it feels more empty here.

You know exactly how I feel.

(sniffs)

You've been wondering if it was worth the trouble.

And I've been wondering the same thing.

(sniffling)

♪ You say you're leavin'

♪ Won't be back no more

LAVEAU: Here, Walter.

You got some good ones for me today?

(chuckles)

Ooh...

Yeah... give me three of them.

(laughs)

Are you gonna come in?

Or you just gonna stare from the doorway, Queenie?

How do you know my name?

Black witch come to town, I'm gonna hear about it.

Surprised it took you this long to come see me.

You doin' some kind of voodoo with them fish heads?

It's Sunday night.

I'm makin' gumbo.

♪ You have somebody else

I never even had gumbo.

Not surprised.

Livin' over there in wonder bread land.

They probably feed you Shake 'n Bake and watermelon for dessert.

Hmph.

They don't care that I'm black.

I just think that... they just don't like me.

Oh... they care plenty.

Hmph.

Their power is built on the sweat of our backs.

The only reason you and I in this country is 'cause our great-great-grandpas couldn't run fast enough.

We'll never be welcome here.

And those witches are the worst.

They're not so bad.

No?

Even right now, they got evil sleeping under their roof, eatin' alongside of 'em.

I locked that horror in a box and buried her in the ground.

Fiona Goode digs her up, gives her a warm bed and three meals a day.

Delphine?

Fiona made her my sl*ve.

sl*ve's too good for her.

You heard the stories, I'm sure.

That ain't the half of it.

Ask her what she done.

You ask her.

Then you see.

You want to come live with us?

With your own people?

The price of admission is Madame Delphine LaLaurie.

Bring her to me, and you will have a home.

I never said I wanted to come join you.

Voodoo doll belong in the house of voodoo.

And I know you didn't cross the line and break the truce for no bowl of gumbo.

Every man, woman and child in this house know what it feel like to have to live as second best to some pretty little white girl.

You come here, and you ain't never got to feel that way again.

More than that, you mix your witch with our voodoo... and even the Supreme won't be able to touch you.

I should get back.

What are you gonna do to her?

If I bring Delphine to you?

Oh, don't you worry about that, child.

Now you just get you home 'fore it get dark.

(liquid bubbling)

You go into the hospital, and you wonder if you'll ever come out again.

You come out, and you wonder, "g*dd*mn, what have I been doing all these years?"

Tea?

No, thank you.

I would say everything is different now... but it's not.

Everything around here is exactly the same.

Only difference is... now I see it.

The Axeman was a bad spirit.

You not only brought him here, you sent him packing, which means you are one hot sh*t witch.

Power like yours does not go unnoticed. Which means you've got a bull's-eye on your back, kiddo, and our biggest enemy is locked,

loaded, and looking at you.

Marie Laveau.

My mother.

But she's on our side.

Fiona Goode has been on the same side her whole life: her own.

Now, I don't know if you are the next Supreme, nobody does, but if she jumps to that conclusion, right or wrong,

she will slit your throat just like she did to Madison.

Nobody knows who k*lled Madison, not even Madison.

She doesn't, but I do.

My mother k*lled her because she thought Madison was the next leader of our coven.

She wanted to absorb her power, her life force.

So if she even thinks you're next... you're next.

Holy sh*t.

Right?

Fiona is fading, growing weaker.

Which only makes her more dangerous.

A wounded animal will rip you apart if it's cornered.

So what do we do?

It's simple.

We're going to k*ll my mother.

k*ll her once, k*ll her good, k*ll her dead.

(Kyle grunting)

Where do you think you're going?

We've only just begun.

(chuckles)

You know, it was a charming evening, but, uh, that dead body in your bathtub is going to start putting off some very noxious odors soon.

Just a few fumes.

You're no angel.

(chuckles)

Although you always did have someone tidy up after you, didn't you?

It was fun, our little romantic game, but I've called the police, and they're gonna be coming shortly.

Oh, you'd never do that.

You hate the coppers.

We're one and the same, you and me.

When was the last time that your body made a light show,

huh?

My guess is never.

You're afraid.

You're afraid of your own pleasure.

It makes you feel weak, like you need somebody.

That's why you're going.

You're drawing ridiculous conclusions.

I don't even know your name and I don't care to.

You don't know me, but there's nothing I don't know about you.

Your secrets, your dreams, everything.

I've been watching over you since you were eight years old.

You think you're special, little witch?

What's your name?

Fiona Goode.

Do you know what happens

to scrawny little girls who stick their heads up above the others?

They get it chopped off.

I'm not afraid of you, Helen.

Pick it up.

Now hold the glass above your head.

You know what to do.

No!

You little sh*t!

No!

(girl screams)

That was you?

That bully had it coming.

I knew I didn't do it.

Why did you help me?

Who are you?

What are you?

At first, I saw you as the daughter that I never had.

I wanted to protect my,my little flower.

But you are no hothouse orchid.

There's nothing fragileabout you, Fiona.

As you, as you grew,I began to seethe-the fire in your belly and the steel running down

your back.

You were the most fearsomething that ever lived.

And while others only sawthe ruthless manipulator, I saw so, so much more.

And my feelings...became complicated.

And I fell in love...

But not like a father... like a man.

I don't believe in ghosts.

Nor did I feel like one.

I felt like I was locked in an airless closet for eternity.

And when you arrived, you gave meaning to my endless, tortured days.

All I want to do is give you pleasure.

You deserve it.

Baby, you've lived through so much.

(both moan)

(grunts)

Jesus Christ...

you call that a seduction, huh?

What an idiot, telling me my life story, how you watched me grow old.

What was that, a mercy lay?!

It was a, a culmination.

Zip me up.

No, you keep your distance, lover boy.

Go haunt someone else's life!

(gasps)

Hey, Spalding.

How are you feeling?

Fine.

I feel fine.

How am I...?

Whose tongue is this?

Yours.

I found it the other day, hidden away.

At first, I didn't realizewhat it was.

I mean, a severed tongue,stored away for years?

You'd thinkit'd be shriveled up like a slice of beef jerkyby now.

(gasps)

But it wasn't. It was wet, alive... because someone enchanted it.

Isn't that right?

Yes.

"M.S."

Myrtle Snow.

She wanted you to tell the truth.

But that was the last thing that you wanted to do.

So you cut it out of your own head.

Answer me!

Yes!

Bet you didn't know that she kept it.

But Myrtle wasn't witch enough to restore it.

But I'm not Myrtle.

Infernales, curare hominem.

Restitue eum ad naturam.

Infernales, curare hominem.

Restitue eum ad naturam.

(chuckles)

What do you want from me, hmm?

The only thing that you can't refuse me.

The truth.

Did you k*ll Madison Montgomery?

M-Madison Montgomery... is alive.

That wasn't the question.

No!

I didn't k*ll her.

But you know who did.

Yes!

I do!

Say the name.

Please don't make me!

Say the name.

(groaning)

Say it.

(spitting sound)

Fiona!

Fiona Goode!

I say her name.

I bless it!

As long as there is a tongue in this head, I will say it!

I will always say her name!

Fiona Goode!

Our Supreme!

She's not your Supreme, Spalding.

She's your employer.

You're not a part of this coven.

My family has served this coven... for ten generations.

I have devoted my life to it.

Not anymore.

(yells)

(groans)

You're done talking.

Care for a nibble?

I'm not here for that.

I need to ask you something.

What's the worst thing you ever did?

The past is best left buried.

I feel like maybe we have a connection.

And my mama always said that in order to be a true friend, you have to see the ugly to appreciate the good.

You think we could be true friends?

I perhaps had... one slight regret.

LaLAURIE: Sally?

I've missed your presence for the last fortnight.

Rumor has it that you gave birth to a baby.

Yes, ma'am, a healthy baby boy.

Oh, Ida says he's beautiful with a complexion as light as cream.

What's the boy's name?

Haven't settled on one yet, ma'am.

Hmm.

I've always been fond of "Pierre" as a boy's name.

(chuckling):

Have you now?

Kitchen's too hard for a new mother.

Now that Borquita is serving her punishment, I need a new handmaiden.

Would you come to my boudoir tonight?

Help me with my beauty treatments?

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you, ma'am.

Elixir de jeunesse.

This little jar came all the way from Paris.

Madame Lafayette swore it took ten years off her face.

I could've saved a fortune if I'd only seen the bitch in broad daylight.

They're all worthless.

Every single one.

Except this.

My own concoction.

The formulation of which I will carry with me to my grave.

Let's play a game.

Can you guess one of the secret ingredients?

It looks like blood, ma'am.

Very good.

You're a smart girl.

But this batch is extra special.

Can you guess why?

Came from a boy.

Newly born.

Youth begets youth.

I know who's been between your legs, whore.

You needn't bother to give that baby a name.

You didn't.

Couldn't have a high yellow bastard growing up in my house, laying claims to our fortune.

The poor girl, next morning she threw herselfoff the balcony.

Cracked her head openon the pavement.

Cracked it open like an egg.

We buried her with her baby.

It was the right thing to do.

You have no idea what doing the right thing even means.

I'm learning, Queenie.

You must understand.

It wasn't only a different time.

It was a different world.

I'm just...

I'm grateful.

To have someone.

A true friend.

To guide me.

(grunting)

(saxophone playing)

What have you been up to?

Nothing. Do you mind?

No, I don't mind.

But you do.

What are we talking about?

Come on, Zoe.

What you walked in on before.

None of my business.

You brought the dude back from the dead.

You must like him a little.

Brought you back, too.

Starting to wish you hadn't?

Look, it's not like we can be together anyways.

Why not?

It's gonna be different with Kyle.

He already d*ed once.

It's gonna take more than just that thing between your legs to k*ll him.

Don't be disgusting.

So, what? You're done with him?

Not even close.

Being with him is the only time I felt anything since I came back.

I'm not giving him up.

But that doesn't mean you have to, either.

Right.

We'll just take turns.

Come here.

♪

(saxophone playing)

Can I buy you a drink?

Yeah.

I must confess my nerves do flutter a bit when I think of changing my hair stylings.

Girl, you had that same old stanky hairstyle for over years.

It's time to switch it up, okay?

Uh... oh!

Hello?

We're here.

(gasps)

Ah.

Madame LaLaurie.

Welcome back.

It's been such a long time.

No.

You don't know this woman.

What she will do to me.

Yes, I do.

It's the reason I brought you here, you dumb bitch.

No.

No!

No, no!

(yelling)

No!

No!

No, please!

Please! No!

Mon chérie, it's been such a busy day, I forgot to apply my Retin-A.

You care to make the first cut?

I'd love to.

Wha...? No!

You stay away from me!

You stay away from me, you hear me?!

You stay away!

♪

Beautiful.

The End