08x23 - Daddy's Little Helpers/Hello Dilly

[bunniefuu]

[ whirring]

[ snoring]

Whoa!

[ whirring]

[ kids laughing]

[ dog barks]

[ giggles]

[ whirring]

[ squeals]

[ water swooshing]

See? I'm speaking

at the Moon Goddess Festival.

"Find your inner power by
awakening the goddess within."

Why don't you come along?

Yeah, I've got all the awakening
power I need right here.

[ slurps]

I don't know.

CHARLOTTE:
Didi...

you especially could use
some empowerment.

The kids will be fine.

Well...

I guess finding my inner goddess
couldbe fun.

All right.

I'll do it!

Let's all do it!

[ honks]

Come on, goddesses,
let's go, go, go!

Everything will
be fine, Deed,

especially after I put
the finishing touches

on the MegaKiddy
deluxe playpen.

Now, you be good
Daddy's little helpers.

TOMMY:
Hear that, guys?

We're going to be
Daddy's little helpers.

[ all cheering]

What should we do
firstest, Tommy?

We, uh... help them do stuff
they need help with.

Mommy's always
telling Daddy

he could help to put
down the potty seat.

I could do that.

We're going to be the bestest
Daddy helpers ever!

STU:
As soon as we finish
the playpen of the century,

the kids will be so entertained,
our day'll be a breeze!

Uh, Stu? I had a little
something different in mind.

I give you

the Finster Developmental
Child Care Schedule

with blocks for feeding,
story time

and general building
of self-esteem.

Oh! Looks like environmental
exploration time.

As in "playing
in the backyard"?

Well, I like
to think of it

as digging in and
playing with nature.

Are you sure this is helping

our daddies, Tommy?

Yep, they said
they wanted us

to play and dig
in the backyard,

and we're playing
and digging really good.

Yeah! I think
I helped the mostest.

We have
to always tell them

how well they're doing.

CHAS:
It's called
positive reinforcement.

Well, then,
I'm positive

you'll want
to see this.

[ all gasp]

It's like a baby Woodstock!

Someone's got
to clean them up.

I'll get your apron.

Hey, now it sounds

like our daddies wants us
to be clean, you guys.

PHIL:
Well, Daddy-helping was fun.

I'm going
to get some worms.

Wait, guys.

We can still help our daddies.

We just gots
to clean ourselves off.

All right, for our daddy.

ALL:
For our daddies!

[ screams]

[ Tommy yelling]

Everybody get hoseded!

Follow me!

Come on!

[ all yelling and giggling]

[ babies continue yelling
and laughing]

CHAS:
What did you do

to the yard?

Uh... but you did it

in record-breaking time!

[ giggles]

[ women chatting softly]

WOMAN:
This sun-bop treatment

is removing the heebie-jeebies
from your cosmic body.

Set her goddess free!

[ motor buzzes]

[ voice quavering]:
It's free!

It's free already!

And for
an additional fee,

I can pull out
your inner energy

and fluff it!

Oh...

CHAS:
We lost valuable
feeding-preparation time

due to yard cleanup.

Now we have to hurry
to stay on schedule.

Maybe the kids'll
eat quick for once.

Guys, our daddies
wants us to hurry up

so we gots to eat
real fast.

But if I eat fast,
I may forget I even eated,

and I hate that.

[ babies slurping and gulping]

Gee, they must be really hungry.

Guess we'll just
give them some more.

[ breaks wind]

[ groans]

[ squealing]

[ pooping loudly]

[ grunting and pooping]

[ babies all pooping]

Okay, men,
we've done it before--

just not all at once.

I'll get the wipes.

I'll get the diapers.

I'll get rubber gloves.

[ rude noises continue]

Uh, way to go, kids!

CHARLOTTE:
So, if you want
to get to the top,

you've got to crush
a few mortals on the way.

[ all cheering]

AUDIENCE:
Go, Charlotte! All right!

Let's read Captain Cavity.

I want to read
Dippy the Dump Truck.

But we have to read
The Super Duper You.

Our daddies want
to read to us real bad,

so we gots not to go sleepies.

But I'm suleepy, Tommy.

She's nothing without a nappy.

Hey, case
you don't remember,

I get cranky!

But we gots to be daddy helpers

and our daddies needs us
not to close our eyes,

no matter what, okay?

Trust me, guys.

Kids'll be out

before we hit
Evil Dr. Floss-No-More.

"Captain Cavity--

"the man with amazing
dental superpowers.

Sound the special signal,
and he comes to the rescue."

CHAS:
"The super-duper you can
share your toys.

[ whispering]:
Why aren't they asleep yet?

[ snoring softly]

[ mumbling]

We did it, guys.

OTHERS:
Yeah...

They're so cute
when they're sleeping.

[ dads snoring]

INSTRUCTOR:
Here in the Song
of Yourself Circle,

you are nothing but you.

[ birds chirping]

INSTRUCTOR:
Excuse me!

Oh! I'm sorry.

I was just thinking that
the fence looks like a playpen.

Here, you're not
a mother, not a wife.

You're just the goddess...
insert-your-name.

STU:
I called you here

to show you what I've finished.

Oh!

STU:
The MegaKiddy cottage!

Come on in!

[ shrieking and giggling]

Best thing is,
it's completely escape...

proof.

Oops.

[ both gasp]

Nice going, Howard.

Don't worry, kids.

Everything's just fine.

Good, Stu.

Stay positive
and calm.

Our daddies say everything's
going to be fine,

but I'm not a-sure.

How are they going
to get their snackies?

Or give us a juice box?

They're doomed.

I am the goddess Kira!

I am the goddess Betty!
I am the goddess Charlotte!

I am the goddess...

"Dodo"?

First I get sun-bopped
like a rag doll

and fluffed with
an old feather duster.

Then I'm told to forget
I'm a wife and mother?!

Because I'm the goddess Dodo.

Well, my name is "Didi"--
Didi Pickles.

Not a goddess... a woman...

[ women gasp]

who loves nothing more

than being a wife and mother...

and wants her money back!

Keep the shirt.

I guess not finding
my inner goddess power

isn't the end
of the world.

But Deed,
you just did!

[ desperately]:
How long's it been, Chas?!

Six minutes.

When will the girls
be back to save us?

How long does it take
to get goddess powers?

Wow! Our mommies
is getting powers!

Maybe like Captain Cavity!

That's it, you guys!

Remember how Captain
Cavity shows up

when you single him?

Well, if our mommies
does gots powers,

maybe we can single them
to come save our daddies.

[ all cheering]

[ banging]

[ engine starts up]

[ tires squeal]

[ thumping, clicking
and rustling]

I don't think our singles
is working.

Wait!

A TB gots a single.

How do we get it
out of the TB, Tommy?

With the demote!

That's what
my daddy does!

Uh, it's around here
someplace.

Got it!

Come on, you guys!

[ all cheer]

[ Didi gasps]

[ all cheering]

My sweetums.

Where's Dil?

And the big boys?

[ babies cheering outside]

[ door creaks open]

Kids?

Is that you?

We were worried.

Dodo?

We did it, guys!

If we didn't single our mommies,

our daddies might never
had've gotted out

of the Mega-Ultry-
Playpenny-Thingie!

I'm just glad
our daddies aren't doomed.

Well, Chuckie,
that's what being

a daddy's little helper
is all about.

ALL:
Yay!

[ door thuds closed]

It's a wonderful
playpen, Stu.

Well, thank you,
Goddess Didi,

and they'll never
get out of this one.

So, what do you want
to do now, Tommy?

Let's go outside!

[ all laughing and cheering]

[ repeated squeaking]

[ doll's eyes squeaking]

See...

When you lie it down, it makes

that real, live, dumb baby
sleeping noise.

And watch this.

[ sucking, slurping]

All the binky action

with none
of the slop.

[ sucking, slurping]

[ spits]:
Ugh.

And it says lots of stuff
and walks!

DOLL:
Want to play with me?

[ giggling]

[ cooing]

My "I-can't-believe
it's-not-a-baby"
baby doll

is just like a real
baby, only smart.

Well, can it
open a playpen

with a screwdriver?

Does it got a sandwich
or a bug

or other goody stuffs
in its diapy?

I said realbaby, not dumbbaby!

Sure does look a lot
like a baby.

LIL:
I think because
the toy peoples

maded it so real.

Oh, don't you know it was a baby
but it got turned into a doll?

But why would someone
do that, Angelica?

Well... Ow!

Maybe for hitting
with rattles and drooling

and having a smelly,
poopy diaper.

I leave anything out?

[ breaks wind]

But who turns babies
into dolls, Angelica?

Um, fairy bobmothers,
of course.

But I thoughted all
fairy bobmothers was good.

Anyone who can turn a stinky
baby into a doll can't be bad.

She's bringing her new baby
for show-and-tell.

Isn't it
fabulously real?

All the cuteness
without staining
anything silk.

Toodles.

Have fun at school,
Angelica.

Oh, great.

It's bad enough
I got to worry

about this stuff
I got to worry about

but I never thought
fairy bobmothers

was a problem.

Um, any of you
ever see

the fairy bobmother
around here?

And in the stories
we've been readed,

don't the fairy bobmother ones
always start

with, "Once upon a time
in a land far, far away?"

Yeah, this isn't
far, far away.

This is right here.

And fairy bobmothers

is always turning pumpkins
into other stuffs.

See anything
around here

that maybe used
to be a pumpkin?

Nope.

No.

Chuckie, maybe.

What?!

I'm pretty sure this isn't
a fairy bobmother kind of town.

And the lastest
pictures

of our trip to Egypt

is me at the pyramids
and me on the Sphinx.

The end.

Wonderful as always,
Susie.

[ yawning]:
Boring.

Face it, Carmichael.

I'm the bestest
shower-and-teller there is.

Harold, you're next, and I just
know this will be interesting.

It's the amazing piece
of green cheese.

I found it in my
very own cubby.

Thank you, Harold.

Me! Me! Me!

Can I go next?! Pretty please!

Sorry, Angelica.

Cassie's turn.

It's my Teething Theresa.

It even grows hairs
and gets teeth.

See.

CLASS:
Whoa!

Looks like you're
not the bestest
after all, Angelica.

The only thing better
than that doll

would be
a real baby.

TEACHER:
All right,
Angelica.

Let's see what you're
so excited to show us.

Um, gee,
I accidentally left it home.

I'll bring it tomorrow.

[ doorbell ringing]

My, Miriam, is that you?

Sure as sh**ting, Didi.

Hoedown Day at Withering Oaks.

I know what you're thinking--
needs a bandanna.

Got one?

I'm sure I do.

Hey there, Dilly boy.

Goochie, goochie, goo.

Goochie, goochie, goo.

Tommy, why is there
a cowgirl lady

in your house
playing with Dil?

Looks more like
a cowmanto me.

Well, um, I don't know.

Thanks, dear.

Well, got to fly.

[ cooing]

Bye, you little doll.

I wonder why she called Dil
a doll.

[ all gasp]

You don't think Dil's

been turnded into a doll,
do you, Tommy?

Um, I don't think so,
Chuckie,

because remember,
only fairy bobmothers

can turn babies into dolls--
not cow... uh, peoples.

Unless it was a fairy bobmother
playing dress-up.

She said she gots
to fly.
Oh, no, guys!

We've got to see
if Dil's still Dil

or if he gotted turnded
into a doll.

Um, sorry
for this, Dil...

um, if you areDil.

[ rattling]

Mine!

Attaboy,Dilly!
I never knew a doll

that could say
that, guys!

But we gots to be sure
so, Chuckie, you get

to smell
his diapy.

[ gasps]:
What?!

I'm the one with
the stuffed nose, remember.

So if you smells it,
it gots to be Dil.

[ sniffing]

Oh, that's Dil,
all right.

ALL:
Yeah!

See, guys!

We worrieded for nothing.

If you don't count
a flying cowperson

in your house.

Ready to go to school,
Angelica?

Almost,
Aunt Didi.

I just want to say "hi"
to my favoritest babies.

[ snoring softly]

[ monitor scrambling]

[ doll cooing softly]

Sleeping like a baby.

Whose tummy
is that?

That's just Dil
in the talkie-walkie.

DOLL [ on monitor]:
I'm a pretty baby.

[ all gasp]

DOLL:
I love you.

How come Dil's
talking?

I don't know.

Let's ask him.

He sure gotted smart
since breakfast.

Hi, Mommy.

He's not
that smart.

Want to play
with me?

[ giggling]:
Want to play with me?

Uh, Tommy, didn't we hear
that somewheres before?

Oh, no, you guys!

Dil's been turnded into a doll!

How's he going
to get turnded back?!

That fairy cowmother
flied away.

Well, uh, we're just going
to have to try

and change him back ourselves.

We just got to think what fairy
bobmothers do and, uh, do it.

And now the most real-like
baby doll of all--

the Drooling Dil...
I mean, baby!

[ Dil yawning]

ALL:
Ooh!

Angelica, isn't that...

Ouch!

ALL:
Wow!

Uh, pretty real,
huh?

Well, that's it.

Thank you.
The end.

What else can
Drooling Dilly do,
Angelica?

The nose pull
was so real.

We want to see more.

Don't we, class?

CLASS:
Yes!

You sure this
is fairy dust, Tommy?

With all this dust,

some of its gots
to be fairy.

Think we did
enough?

[ sneezes]

Not really.

Sorry.

[ all sighing]

Okay, uh, doll, be Dil.

[ doll squeaking]

I'm a pretty baby.

[ doll giggling]

Don't worry, Dilly.

I'll get you back somehow.

[ Dil vomiting]

[ class yelling]

Drooling Dilly
is scaring me!

[ spitting]

[ class yelling]

[ cooing, farting]

Pooping.

[ class yelling]

To real! To real!

Guess you're not the
bestest shower-and-teller
after all.

[ giggling
victoriously]

Nowyou fall asleep?!

Finger paints, diapy bum cream,
mud and spit!

I think we've got
some magic potion.

Now we say
some magic words.

Uh, abba-ba-dabba.

Alla-caboo.

Hi, Mommy.

Even if he is a doll,
it's probably his nappy time.

Hi, kids.

Let's go play downstairs.

We don't want to wake him up,
right, guys?

You tried your
bestest, Tommy.

It wasn't enough,
Chuckie.

Only the fairy bobmother
can turn Dilly back

and I don't know
how to find her.

[ doorbell buzzing]

Want to hear something precious?

Angelica.

I just wanted to stop by to tell
the babies how much I love them.

Oh.

[ spitting]

The dolly won't drool
on your toys

or wake you up
at night

or... or poop.

But I want him to drool
and wake me up and poop!

I want Dil!

Tommy... look!

The fairy bobmother!
Come on!

Here's your coffee,
Miriam.

Thanks, dear.

Well, if that
isn't adorable.

[ kissing]

[ kissing]

[ Dil yawning]

Tommy!

[ babies cheering]

Do you still love
your new dolly,
Angelica?

Oh, yes, Mommy!

I didn't even know
how much until today.

Want to play with me?

[ groans]

Those dumb babies!

[ breaking wind]

HOWARD:
I'll get the rubber gloves!