08x01 - Broke His Crown

Episode transcripts for the show, "Adventure Time". Aired: April 5, 2010 - September 3, 2018.*
Watch or Buy on Amazon Merchandise


Twelve- year-old Finn battles evil in the Land of Ooo.
Post Reply

08x01 - Broke His Crown

Post by bunniefuu »

[Mouse squeaks]

[Penguins chirp]

[Screeches]

[All cheering]

[Screeches]

[Quacks]

I "Adventure Time" J“

I Come on, grab your friends J“

J“ We're going to
very distant lands J“

J“ With Jake the dog
and Finn the human I

J“ The fun will never end J“

I It's "Adventure Time" I

BUBBLEGUM: I can't believe
I let you talk me into this.

It's not like I have
a lot of free time, you know.

Peebs, you work too much.

Imagine a pizza.

Only half should be business.

The rest should be personal.

Personal pizza.

Yuck.

Try to have fun tonight.

With the Ice King?

Not in your everlasting
lifetime, girlfriend.

I wish you'd call him Simon.

He's actually
kind of sweet and funny.

[Squawks]

[Coos]

Can you please
try to get along tonight?

It would mean a lot to me.

[Inhales deeply]
I'll try.

Try anything once,
that‘s what I say.

Simon!

What's this?

It's a present.

To bribe you for coming over.

You don't have to bribe us,
siIIy.

We're here because we want
to hang out with you.

No one has ever
said that to me before.

You didn't say, "No take—backs."

Wenk.

Bottoms down.

[Slurping]

[Plop!]

[Splatl]

ICE KING:
[Echoing] So, check it out!

I upgraded
my home karaoke system.

Do you like karaoke?

Duh!
We love karaoke.

Bonnie is a dynamo on the mike!

Okay. You guys get started,
I'II freshen up PB's drink.

[Inhales deeply]

[Braying]

Uh...

[Groaning]

[Speaking foreign language]

Marceline?

Irs/erskat prjon!

Prion, prjon...

p rrrrrrrrrrrrjo n !

Marceline!
Get out here quick!

What's going on?

Somethings wrong with the I.K.

Oh, no!
Simon!

Hi, Marceline.

Are you guys pranking me?

Your friend just
majorly malfunctioned!

He was jerking around all weird,

and his voice sounded like
he was possessed!

Cool out, B—Bell.

I know you love karaoke, but
you can't take it so seriously.

[Triangle dinging]

I hope you like penguin cuisine.

It's mostly just shapes.

Who doesn't love
a good rhomboid?

You're a rhomboid.

[Warbling]

Here, Simon.

I know these are your favos.

Ooh, thanks, Gunther!

He just called you "Gunther."

Ah, he calls everybody Gunther.

Bonnie!

There's something really wrong
with Simon.

There's some wrong with ——
Wait.

You just called him Simon.

Call me whatever you want.

This is the best date I've
been on since my last date.

This is not a date.

Neither was the last one.

It was a robbery.

For real?

Yeah.
She stole my heart.

And my crown.

— Your crown. Hm...
—[Warb|e! Shatter!]

[Speaking foreign language]

Oh, crubs!
He's really flipping out!

[Speaking foreign language]

[Shatterl Shatter!]

[Whack!]

What'd you do that for?!

It just makes things easier.

I'm definitely seeing
some weird activity here.

It's really, really...

You don't know what's going on.

Maybe I can access it
with my VR equipment.

Whoa, Bon—bon!

This stuff is rad.
Why haven't you shown me before?

I didn't think
you liked science.

I like games.

We can play sometime.

But this time, it's business.

Whoa.

This is not
what I was expecting.

Did you press the wrong button?

I never press the wrong button.

Yeah, you always know
which button to press.

I'm referring to the fact
that you know how to annoy me.

— Yeah, I got that.
—[Drums playing]

What I don't get
is this stupid scenery.

At least it's got
a pretty k*ller b*at.

[Drums continue]

Wow!
Two newbies at the same time!

How'd you manage that?

Yeah, okay.

I guess if you really squeeze
together, it could fit you both.

Who are you?!

Are you a dinosaur?

I'm a Gunther.

Okay,
what's a dinosaur doing here?

I'm practicing my drums.

The others say the acoustics out
here are better than in town.

[Warbling]

What the bleep?!

Oh, yeah.
That's been happening lately.

You're lucky
you didn't get rearranged.

Ooof!

Does this circuit
look infected to you?

I don't know. I only deal
in infectious grooves.

[Mimics guitar]

Sounds like you guys
need another brain.

[Gasps] I'm gonna take
you guys to the the professor!

He's the smartest guy I know.

Next to Master Evergreen,
of course.

[Sveinn speaking
foreign language]

— Prjon.
— Hey, guys.

Pdon.
Hey, Goontz!

Who are those dudes?

That's Sveinn.

He only wore the crown once.

And the guy next to him says
he's the first "Santa."

Like, what's even a "Santa"?

Dude, the Santa?

Nope.
Doesn't ring a bell.

[Drum playing]

Aha!
There he is!

Professor Petrikov!

Simon!

Marcy!

Oh, dear!
How is this possible?

Did my beloved Betty master
the secrets of the crown?

No.
Bonnibel scienced us in.

Ohh. You must be
Betty's little assistant.

Assistant?!

I have been my own boss
my entire life.

I built my own lab!

I've created
freaking life—forms!

Okay! Uh...
[Clears throat]

Actually, I haven't seen Betty
since she came back to 000.

But if Betty didn't send you,
why are you here?

The crown is going ba—nay—nays.

It's making Ice King act
super weird in the real world.

Yes, I see.

It seems to have infected
much of the Crown's labyrinth.

I was actually just about to
follow its path of destruction.

A quest!

Hey, Marcy, last time,

I was so caught up in
making things right with Betty

that you got left out.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.
I get it.

So, you got a boyfriend yet?

Ha! No.

Uh, there was this guy once,

but he was a real jerk,
so I dumped him hard.

Huh. Wish I'd been there
to punch his face.

Simon!

I can punch my own jerks now.

[Chuckles] Ow.

It's getting pretty bad.
I think we're close.

Yeah! Can't you hear
my intense drumming?

[Humming]

Magic Man?

Magic Woman.

Betty!

DINO GUNTHER:
This is the fabled Betty?

I always pictured her
more majestic.

You know, with,
uh, guts and stuff.

Betty, please,
what are you doing?

I'm re—programming
the Crown's wish magic.

Got to fix Simon.

A—ha!

—[Warbles]
—[Snorts]

[Gasps]

Aah! I'm a bush!

It's just on backwards.

Betty's the one who's backwards.

We got to get her malware
out of here

before she causes
irreparable damage.

[Humming]

Now!

— Now!
— Ooh—hoo!

Now! Aaah!

SIMON: There has to be
a part of the real Betty

in there somewhere, Gunther.

If only I could
reach out to her.

Okay.
Get in there and reach.

I think I Will.

Betty?

I'm the reason
you're doing all this.

I'm busy.

Remember how we met?

When we both reached for
the same book in the library,

and I said you should
check it out first?

And when you returned it,
you left a note inside,

because you knew
I'd borrow it next?

It was the funniest,
smartest note I've ever read.

I...have to work.

Betty, I love you so much,
but you can't help me like this.

I can and I will help you,
Simon!

[Warbles]

You remember me!

1-1--

Stay with that feeling, Betty!
Stay with it!

— [Groaning]
— SIMON: Betty!

Simon?

Oh, Betty!
I can't believe it's really you!

Technically
I'm a magical A.I. avatar

derived from Betty's memories.

Close enough!

[Smooches]

Shwang!

The system
appears to be stabilizing.

Crown shields
are coming back online.

Mm...what does that mean?

The crown will re—seal itself
off from foreign entities.

But I—I can come back
and visit Simon, right?

No.

What about me?

Mm...don't freak out,
but you're gonna be deleted.

Oh, no!

It's okay, Simon.

I'm just glad
I didn't destroy your world.

SIMON:
You are my world.

Good bye, frea ks!

Don't forget Gunther!

Bye,dude.

I'm gonna be nicer to penguins
from now on.

Okay.

Wait, what?

[Sighs]

—[Warbles]
— Whoa.

Before I go, there's something
I have to tell you.

SIMON:
Tell me, Betty.

1-1-1-1-1-1-1--

Betty!

Hm...

I'm seeing remnants of
Betty's program in the readout.

It's like her data left
a shadow print on the circuitry.

Hmm.

[Humming]

SIMON: So, what was that thing
you were gonna tell me?

BETTY:
Oh, I just said that for drama.

I figured
it would drive you crazy,

but at least you'd never stop
thinking about me.

Betty, I never could.

Mwah!

MARCELINE:
I don't see anything.

These are just weird dots to me.

Wenk! Wenk!

My place is trashed,
and I can't remember a thing.

Great dinner party, huh?

Best I've ever been to.

What?
I don't like relaxing.

I like science.

I Come along with me I

I And the butterflies and bees I

This party is so crazy!
Post Reply