♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪
♪ A baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪
♪ No blue buzzard,
no three-eyed frog ♪
♪ Just a feline, canine,
little CatDog ♪
♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪
♪ Alone in the world
was a little CatDog ♪
♪ Out on the road
or back in town ♪
♪ All kind of critters
putting CatDog down ♪
♪ Got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪
♪ Got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪
♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪
♪ Alone in the world
was a little CatDog ♪
♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪
♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪
♪ Alone in the world
was a little CatDog. ♪
Oh, I can't wait
to see them again!
( laughing )
♪ Mom and Dad, Mom and Dad ♪
♪ Mom and Dad are
coming here today! ♪
Dog... will you
please calm down?
We can't calm down.
We need to prepare
the preparations!
We need marching bands
mimes, cakes, presents...
spare no expense!
Dog, Dog, Dog, Dog...
Mom and Dad don't
want marching bands
or expensive
presents.
Okay, mimes it is!
Mimes it's not!
Dog, Mom and Dad
just want to spend
a quiet, relaxing weekend
with their boys, who are us.
They don't want
a bunch of hoopla.
What am I going to do
with all this hoopla?
( tires squeal )
( banging on door )
Hmm, wonder
who that could be.
Knock, knock, we're here!
( both gasp )
BOTH:
It's Mom and Dad!
MOM AND DOG:
Hi-ho diggity!
Ow.
( laughing and exclaiming )
Yay!
Whee...!
Uh... okay...
I got it, no problem.
( grunts )
A little help here!
Whoopsie-daisy!
Don't worry, Dad,
I'm coming to get ya!
Dad...
you're beautiful.
( all laugh )
Aw...
CAT:
Uh. Ahem.
Uh, Mom, Dad?
You must be exhausted
from your long trip
so why don't you come on down
and sit back and relax
with these
fabulous presents
courtesy of your host
and loving son Cat!
But Cat, you said
no presents.
Here's something
every father needs.
A floating contour lounger
with reclining lily pad.
Say, now, that's fancy.
And for the greatest
mom in the world
A super king-size
multi-speed foot massager!
Oh, Cat, you shouldn't have.
Nothing but the best
for my mom.
Hey, I'm the only foot
massager around here.
( giggles )
You stop.
Not in front of the kids.
Gee, Mom and Dad, I didn't
get you any fancy presents.
That's true.
But you can have some
of my favorite garbage.
Oh...
why, Dog, it's lovely!
Ooh, the aroma...
Flies!
Now this is a present.
( laughs )
Well, I guess we know
who they like best.
( laughs )
What, they like Dog best?
Ha! Don't be ridiculous.
They couldn't possibly like...
Oh, Dog, you're the best!
Oh!
Don't take it
so hard.
Everybody likes
Dog best.
( laughs )
BOTH:
We like Cat better!
What are you, nuts?
Oh, oh! Let's play tag!
Well, count me in!
( laughs ) Me, too!
Tag, you're it!
Slowpokes!
Catch me if you can!
Over here!
Ha-ha, you missed me.
Whoa... ah!
( both laugh )
Come on, boys.
But what about my g...
Catch me if you can!
( laughing and yelling )
Sorry.
( Mom and Dog laugh )
( laughing and yelling... )
( laughs )
( grunting and groaning )
Hi. Follow me!
Aah, aah, aah...
( laughing and panting... )
( laughing and yelling )
( video game music playing )
( panting and gasping )
( panting )
Oh, whee!
( horns honk, tires squeal )
CAT ( flat electronic voice ):
My body. Aah! My body.
My body. Aah! My body. Aah!
My body. Aah! Aah!
My body. Aah! My body.
DOG:
Hi ho diggity!
CAT:
My body again. My body. Aah!
( laughs )
Oops!
Oops! Oops!
Sorry! Ha! Sorry!
Sorry. Oop, that tickles.
( laughs )
( crowd yelling... )
Follow me!
CAT:
Wait, wait... Dad!
Wait, Dad... ( whimpers )
Hee-hee.
Aah!
Aah...
( gibbering )
Ha-ha!
Oh, hooray for you!
( Cat screams, lion roars )
( Cat blubbering )
Oh, Dad?
Come out, come out,
wherever you are!
Olly-olly-froggy-free!
DAD:
I really can't breathe.
( gasps )
Oh, dear.
Ha! ( laughs )
Tag! You're it again,
you're it again!
Wait a minute, wait, wait!
There are other ways
to have family fun.
How about... fishing?
Mmm... gah!
Ooh, good one, Dad!
That hits the spot.
( gags )
Uh... I, I thought
we were going fishing.
We are... fly fishing!
( burps )
Go on, Cat,
give it a try.
But... I clean myself
with this tongue.
I want to try.
All right, but there's
an art to it.
Let the tongue
curl back in your throat.
Ready, aim...
Hiya, baby.
Mm-gah!
Aah!
( gulps )
Mm... ah...
Yeah,
tastes a little
like chicken...
if chickens
were dung-eating,
flying insects.
( all laugh )
DOG:
Dung-eating insects...
Okay, Dad, here I go!
Hmm.
Aah...
Mm... gah!
Looks like you inherited
your daddy's tongue.
CAT:
Uh, well... since we don't get
to see you that much, I
I thought
I'd take the liberty
of putting together a little
slide show to, you know
bring you up to date
on the accomplishments
of your favorite son...
and Dog.
Now, this is just
a little doodle I came up with.
( both laugh )
CAT:
Oddly enough,
I never had a lesson.
Oh, Dog, you cr*ck me up.
( frustrated growl )
Next, a little hike
I made to the top of...
Mount Everest!
( both laugh )
Dog, you're too much!
Yeah, and then some.
( laughs )
Here I am accepting
my perfect attendance award
at the one-day driving school.
They said it couldn't be done.
Well, I did it! Ha!
( all snoring )
WINSLOW:
Gee, you really know
how to work a crowd.
But don't worry,
sooner or later your folks
are bound to like you
at least half as much as Dog.
( laughs )
Half as much...
It can't be...
I mean, I like me
better than Dog...
why don't they?
( projector clicking... )
( growling louder
and louder... )
( laughs wildly )
I'm going to put
an end to this
"We like Dog better"
nonsense
once and for all!
( thunder booms )
Yeah, yeah, yeah...
you sleep the deep sleep
Mommy and Daddy's
little favorite.
( laughs evilly )
DAD:
Hurry it up, Mother.
We need to get on the road.
We're burning daylight.
Coming, dear... oops.
What in the name of chub?
Oh, bad Dog, bad, bad
digging Dog who digs!
Huh...
what I do, what I do?
My RV, my beautiful RV!
Oh, I tried to stop
him, Mom and Dad
but... he's a dog, and
they're diggers, you know.
Dog... how could you?
With his front paws.
He does it all the time.
Gee, you're right.
Look upon the paws
of a digger.
I must have done it
in my sleep.
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.
The important thing is,
you took responsibility.
I'm proud of you, Dog.
Well, you should be!
You what... huh...
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...?
Wait a minute.
You still like him?
Even after he said
he did those things?
It takes a big man
to take responsibility
for his actions.
His actions?
They weren't
his actions!
They were mine!
I did it!
It was me!
I admit it,
I admit it!
Now you like me,
right, right?
Right? Huh?
He gets this from
your side of the family.
I blame you!
What did I do?
You've been planning
this all along!
You outsmarted me
with your stupidity!
Wait a minute...
that's brilliant.
Oh, no...
can it be you're
smarter than me, too?
Cat, your imagination is
running away with you.
Run away? ( laughs )
Good idea!
You obviously don't
want me around.
All you need is Dog!
Mom and Dad always
liked you best!
Always the dramatic one.
Coochie-coochie-coo!
( laughs )
Oh!
Cat, parents
don't have favorites.
We love you both the same.
Right, Dad?
Dad?
A little help here!
Your mother's right.
Just 'cause Dog is cuter
and funnier and more lovable
has a better personality...
ow!
Dad...
Okay,
I was just kidding.
I like you
both the same, too.
( sniffles )
Promise? For reals?
Oh, the joy of family!
Oh, for the love of chub...
( grunting, engine revving )
MOM:
Bye!
Love you!
DAD:
So long, Dog.
MOM:
And you, Cat!
DAD:
See you later.
MOM:
Take your vitamins.
Hey, uh, Cat?
Yeah?
Even though we're not
supposed to have favorites
you'll always be
my favorite brother.
Oh, I know...
but you're not
so bad yourself.
Geez Louise!
Somebody pass
the hoopla bucket!
I think I'm going to be sick.
( laughs )
Aah!
A little help here!
MOM:
I'm positive
we're going the wrong way.
DAD:
Oh, terrific.
MOM:
It's okay to pull over
and ask for
directions, honey.
DAD:
Fathers don't ask
for directions.
MOM:
It's the other way, Dad.
( Dog munching and slurping )
Mmm, yummy!
( munching and gulping )
Mmm...
♪ I eat meat... ♪
( munch )
♪ All day long ♪
♪ That's my happy... ♪
( gulp )
♪ Eat meat song... ♪
( gulp )
Mmm...
( munching loudly )
( gulps )
( humming )
Huh, hmm, huh?
Oh... uh-oh.
Cat, I'm out of meat!
We got to buy
some more right now!
Meat is expensive.
It doesn't grow on trees,
you know.
Yes, it does.
It d... Dog, you've said
a lot of silly things
in our long and colorful
relationship
and that was one of them!
You have never heard
of Johnny Meatseed?
No... but I have
a feeling I'm about to.
( birds whistling )
DOG:
Johnny Meatseed travels
all over the world
planting meat trees
everywhere he goes.
( jaunty music playing )
♪ My name is Johnny Meatseed ♪
♪ And I'm a meat tree
planting man ♪
♪ I've planted meat trees
near and far ♪
♪ across this glorious land! ♪
( music ends )
Where did you hear
that ridiculous story?
A little pixie told me.
Or it might have
been a leprechaun.
Come on, Dog.
I'm going to show you
where meat comes from.
( cow moos )
Welcome to The Meat Channel.
Today we're going to learn
where meat comes from
and I love it!
( mooing, oinking,
clucking and baaing... )
( thumping... )
( thunder booms )
( thunder booms )
RANDOLPH:
And that's where meat
comes from.
( thunder booms )
They make animals out of meat?
( gulps )
I've been eating animals!
See, you learn
something new every day.
Well, let's go to bed.
( Dog snoring and whimpering )
Mervis?
Uh, who did you expect,
Peter Pan?
Um... oh, yeah.
You will be visited
by the spirits
of three of
your favorite meals.
So let's welcome
our first ghost.
Guten abend.
Mein name ist
Heinz von Hamburger.
( sniffs )
Gee, you smell
good enough to eat.
You already did!
Uh, sorry.
Before I was burger,
I was moo-cow.
Kommen sie hier!
I show you
the good old days, ja?
HEINZ:
I roamed the fields
with mein little bells
going ding-a-ling
all the ding-dong day.
I was captain
of the badminton team.
( giggling )
I was going to the Olympics!
Until somebody decided
they had to have a hamburger!
Gee, who was that?
You, dummkopf.
One hamburger, please.
( gulps )
HEINZ:
Mein badminton days were over!
I'm sorry, Heinz.
I promise I'll never
have another hamburger
for the rest
of my little livesies.
I'll just eat tacos.
( thunder booms )
Favorite meal
numero dos es aqui.
Me llamo Senorita Esperanza.
Oh, no... you, too?
Si!
And on the greatest
day of my life.
( crowd cheering... )
I was to be the first
flamenco chicken to go to Mars.
But then....
some stinking dog
had to have a chicken taco!
Uh, would that stinking
dog be stinky old me?
Si!
MAN:
Tres, dos, uno, rios!
( squawks )
( sizzling... )
( munching and gulping... )
I'm sorry, Esperanza.
I'll never eat another taco!
From now on,
it is only hot dogs for me.
( falling whistle )
( whimpers )
( groaning )
Cat?
MAN:
So youse only
gonna eat hot dogs, huh?
You wanna take a bite
outta Frank, huh?
You wanna eat Frank,
is that right?
You wanna eat a hot dog?!
You just gonna eat hot dogs
from now on, tough guy?!
Um... yeah, no, I mean...
you're scaring me!
Do you even know
what hot dogs are made of?
Uh, hold on,
don't help me.
Uh, let me see...
uh, I'll get it.
Hot... dogs... hot...
dogs are made of...
( gasps )
Oh, no, I'm a cannibal!
Nah, hot dogs ain't made
of dogs, ya knucklehead!
Hot dogs are made up
of a whole bunch
of your little
animal friends there.
That's what hot dogs
are made of?
Bingo, Junior. Occasionally
they throw in a mime for flavor.
MERVIS:
But mostly
hot dogs are made of pigs.
But Mervis,
you're a pig.
That's right, Dog.
And you wouldn't want
to eat me, would you?
No, I would never want to
eat one of my friends.
MERVIS:
Here's a handy list
of all the animal friends
you shouldn't eat.
Remember, Dog,
friends don't
eat friends.
ALL:
Friends don't eat friends.
Friends don't eat friends!
Friends don't eat friends.
Friends don't eat friends!
( gasps )
Cat...!
What...?!
What's the matter?
Cat, our friends are
made out of meat!
Terrific.
We'll discuss it in the morning.
But it is morning!
The dawn of a new day
and I vow, as Cat is my witness
that I shall never eat
my animal friends again!
From now on,
it is meat no more for me!
Dog, Dog, Dog,
you're a canine.
They named teeth after you.
You're a meat-eating, flesh-
ingesting carnivorous beast!
What else are you going to eat?
( store music playing... )
Fruits and vegetables, fruits
and vegetables! Leafy greens!
( scanner beeps )
Ooh, finally, some real food!
Cat, you know fish
are our friends, too.
Yeah, right.
Hey, friend, will you
lend me 20 bucks?
Hmm... gosh,
no friends in there.
Tofu...
I'm your friend, Dog.
Me, too, Dog. I'm your friend.
ALL:
Friends don't eat friends.
Friends don't eat friends!
Friends don't eat friends...
( screams )
ALL:
Friends don't eat friends.
Friends don't eat friends.
Friends don't eat friends!
Friends don't eat friends!
ALL:
Friends don't eat friends!
Okay, I'll add you to the list!
Friends, friends, friends,
friends, friends...
I vow that I shall not eat
any fruits or vegetables.
Then what the heck are you
going to eat, Dog? Rocks?
Rocks!
Rocks...
Rocks, rocks, rocks.
Rocks, rocks.
( crunches )
Ow...
Boy, this is really...
...good.
Yo, Dog, I want to be
your friend.
Huh? What do you say,
pal?
Youse gonna be Rocky's friend?
Uh... okay.
All right! Way to go, Dog!
No rocks!
( panting )
RANDOLPH:
And that's where meat
comes from...
comes from... comes from.
HEINZ:
Mein badminton days
were over... over... over...
ESPERANZA:
Some stinking dog...
stinking dog... stinking dog...
FRANK:
Tough guy...
tough guy... tough guy...
TOMATO:
I'm your friend, Dog.
CARROT:
Me, too, Dog, I'm your friend.
( hammering )
( panting )
Okay, Dog,
the lack of meat
has done something
to your brain.
You need meat!
No! No, I don't!
I know what I'll do.
I will just eat air!
( gulping )
Dog, snap out of it!
You've flipped
your lid!
You've gone bonkers!
"Friends don't eat
friends."
That's the silliest thing
I've ever heard.
Ah... hey...
Cat is not on this list!
( thunder booms )
Hey, what are you doing?
D-Dog, remember.
Friends don't eat friends.
You are not my friend,
you are my brother!
No!
( Dog snarling )
CAT:
Help, help, help, help...!
Wait one second here.
What are you doing?
( screaming... )
( snarling... )
I, I, I, I don't think
I taste very good.
I will be the judge of that!
Dog, Dog, Dog, stop...!
Meat, meat, meat, meat....
( sneezes )
Must... must eat Cat.
I must eat Cat, I must eat Cat,
I must eat Cat!
( screams )
( whistles )
Heard you boys
had a meat problem.
Hey, it's Johnny Meatseed.
He's really real?
( zaps, bell dings )
How about I plant some old
meat trees out yonder?
Oh, yes, yes, yes, go, plant,
quick, quick, fertilize!
♪ Perhaps you think
I'm full of bunk ♪
♪ That meat don't grow
like that ♪
♪ Well, did you ever see a dog
connected to a cat? ♪
I see it...
but I don't believe it!
I guess you learn
something new every day.
Hi-ho diggity!
Ooh, ooh, my body!
( grunting, panting, groaning )
That's the magic of meat!
( laughs )
( grunting, panting,
groaning... )
♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪
♪ A baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪
♪ No blue buzzard,
no three-eyed frog ♪
♪ Just a feline, canine,
little CatDog ♪
♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪
♪ Alone in the world
was a little CatDog ♪
♪ Out on the road
or back in town ♪
♪ All kind of critters
putting CatDog down ♪
♪ Got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪
♪ Got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪
♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪
♪ Alone in the world
was a little CatDog... ♪
♪ Alone in the world
was a little CatDog. ♪
04x08 - Vexed of Kin/Meat, Dog's Friends
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Conjoined siblings -- one a dog, the other a cat -- deal with the unique challenges of their existence.
Conjoined siblings -- one a dog, the other a cat -- deal with the unique challenges of their existence.