01x01 - Dog Gone/All You Can't Eat

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day
with a woof and purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine,
little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪

Dog:
Throw it!

Come on, come on!

Throw it!

Cat:
You talking to me?

Dog:
'Course I'm talking to you!

Throw it!

Three, two, one...

Get it, dog!

( Laughing )

All right,
fork it over.

( Growling )
Hey... man,
real fearsome.

Cough it up.

That's a nice dog.

( Growling )

Got you.

Fetch another one.

Get ball, get ball.

( Squeaking )

Squirrel!

( Yelling )

Tree, tree, tree!

( Squeaks )

Squirrel breath.

Let's get a soda, huh?

( Singing )

Got that soda, cat?

I can see it
but i can't reach it.

Hey, winslow!

Hey, what do you say there,
catdog?

Hey, winslow!

I can't reach
the mug.

Boy, you guys
work great together.

I mean, i could
never do that.

Spending every minute
with somebody else.

What are you
talking about?

Look at the two
of youse.

Over to
the left.

If one wants
a soda

the other gots to get it.

You never get any time
to do what you want

'cause you're
always together.

But we love doing everything
together-- right, cat?

Cat?

Yeah... yeah...

Everything...
Together...

So, anyway, winslow...

( Chomping noisily )

( Humming along to music )

Winslow:
'Cause you're always
together... together...

Hey, dog, you know
you're my best friend...

But, have you
ever thought

you really need
some time alone?

You know,
to do stuff

because,
i mean...

( Loud rock music
drowns out words )

...and i think it's
best for both of us.

So, what do you think?

Did you say something?

Nothing important.

Good night, pal.

( Singing along )

( Birds chirping )

( Toilet flushes )

( Grunts )

Morning, stranger.

( Grumbles )

( Noisily eating )

( Stomach gurgling )

Do you mind?

Hey!

Hm?

You're eating
so fast...

( Hiccups )

You're giving me
the hiccups!

This always works
for me, cat.

Breathe in...

Breathe out...

Breathe in...

( Gasps )

Garbage day.

Hold on,
control yourself!

How about a bone

or a game of fetch?

Garbage day...

Cat:
Stop, let's talk about this!

Dog:
Garbage, garbage, garbage!

( Cat yelling throughout )

( Cat grunting )

( Screaming )

Somebody! Somebody! Somebody!

( Grunts, giggles )

( Laughing )
Garbage day.

It'll be three minutes
till cat-diggity-dog.

( Chuckling ):
Yeah, we hate cats.

The only thing worse than a cat

is a dog who hangs around
with a cat.

Cat:
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Huh? Hey, i think
my watch stopped.

( All groan, grunt )

Get that catdog!

Let's get him!

( Growling, hissing,
screeching )

( Horn honks )

( Cat screaming... )

Boy, look at that baby go.

Adventure, the open road.

It just doesn't get
any better than this.

And you lost your hiccups, too,
huh, cat?

( Mumbling ):
Lost my hiccups?

That's it!

I can't take another minute
of this!

( Yelling ):
Day in and day out,
it's the same thing!

( Crying )

What are you saying?

I'm saying if i can't
get some time to myself

to do what i want to do...

Then I'm through.

( Guffaws )

You're so funny, cat.

Okay, get up.

Come on, get up.

Please get up, cat, please!

I'll do anything!

Did you say... anything ?

All right, ready?

Ow! Sorry.

Hmm, not bad,
not too shabby at all.

It's real itchy.

Are you sure this
is what you want?

If you don't want
to back me up...

Oh, no, I'm going, I'm going,
I'm already gone.

( Tail squeaks )

I promise.

Hmm, purr.

Cat:
Alone at last.

, uses for hairballs,
what a classic.

Ah, civilized dining
without hiccups.

What a sunset!

Hey, dog, take a peek
at this sunset.

I'm not here.

I know that.

Just look at it

then resume not being here.

Oh, no, you don't, cat.

You're being alone in this
and you can't get it

with a stupid, old, sloppy dog
hanging around.

So, I'm not here.

Adios, El gato.

All right, I'm on my own
at last.

Checking out this big old ocean.

And without dog...

( Sadly ):
It just doesn't get any better
than this.

( Taxi engine revs )

Home, sweet home.

( Taxi crashes )

The fetch ball.

( Sniffs )

( Sighs sadly )

( Rock music )

Oh, dog, dog, dog!

Sheesh, who d*ed?

Nobody, I'm enjoying me,
all alone with me.

Hey, you want to play fetch?

What are you, nuts?

It's total dullsville
around here without dog.

See you.

See you.

( Singing along
with loud music )

Hi, cat.

Hi, dog.

Both:
So, uh, how are things?

( Both laugh )

I got your postcard.

You did?

"Dear dog,
"wish you were here, cat."

I meant every word.

Hey, Mr. garbage truck's
out there.

I know, but you
need more time alone.

Sure, sure, but...

No, i quit that whole garbage
thing... for you.

Just do me a favor
and chase the truck!

But you said...

I said a lot
of crazy things

and... i was wrong!

So, please,
I'm begging you

just chase the truck!

But why would you...

Because i miss you...

Chasing the truck, i mean.

Oh... you miss me...

Chasing the truck,
you mean?

Hey, cat?

Mm-hmm?

I missed you, too.

( Both laugh )

Both:
It just doesn't get
any better than this!

( Yelling )

Stop it, stop it, stop it!

Catdog!

( Barking )

Hiya, kids!

Do you know what
time it is?

It's time to read
some fan mail!

( Laughs )

Winslow, bring us the
letters, my good man.

Nothing today, chief.

Are you sure?

You two are as popular

as a monkey in a banana patch.

Forget about it.

I have one!

( Clears throat )

"Dear us, where did we come
from? Signed, you and me."

Pathetic.

( Chuckles )

Good question, dog.

Of course, it, um...

Comes as no surprise
to you at home

that dog and i
are descended
from royalty.

Right, royalty.

Huh, i don't get it.

You know, you know,
uh...

( Quietly ):
Just work with me
here, okay?

Oh, royalty, royalty.

We used to be the
king and queen of england.

We wore crowns of sausages,
dental floss and bowling balls.

Yeah, well, that was the rumor,
but, but...

We did grow up
in a beautiful country.

Beautiful country

high in the frigid peaks
of the Florida alps.

( Yells )

Florida alps?

Mm-hmm, there we
learned to fly.

Hold on, dog.

Out into outer space.

And back down
into the ocean.

There we found
deep-sea leprechauns.

And a void so dark

we got lost in a crazy,
negative dimension.

Okay, okay,
that is enough!

You said "work with me,"
I'm working with you.

And youse two wonder why

you never get fan mail,
sheesh Luis.

Deep-sea
leprechauns?

Oh, wait a minute!

( Whistling )

What is this?

( Chuckles )

"To catdog."

Cat:
Winslow!

Winslow:
So you got some letters

i forget to mention-- big deal.

( Horns honking )

( Slurping )

Welcome to taco depot...

Uh, dunglap.

( Retching in background )

Ow.

Three things:

One, I'm the guy
in the taco shell.

Two, keep this place clean.

My boss sometimes drops in.

Three, never, ever, ever serve
that taco hog, catdog.

Dunglap:
Aye, aye,
taco shell guy.

"No shirt, no shoes, no catdog."

Please, dog,
don't humiliate me again.

"All you can eat" does not mean
you can actually eat it all.

Face it.

We've been banned
from taco depot.

don't worry, cat.

Dunglap will take care
of us.

Aren't you forgetting
about rancid rabbit?

Not to worry, compadre.

We're... dogcat.

Dunglap:
"Hola, senor."

May i take your odor?

And a big hola
to you, dunglap.

Hey, cat.

Hey, dog.

No, dunglap, it's me, dog.

See, cat?

I told you we'd fool them.

We would like

the all-you-can-eat
special, please.

Come here often,
my little tamale?

Where've you been
all my life?

( Cat shouting )

( Groaning )

I can't decide
what to eat first.

What's the difference?

There's four ingredients
in everything.

Burr-eye-too.

Eat your food and let's go.

( Gasps )

Wait. I almost forgot.

Manager:
Unhand that burrito.

Hey!

How many times
do i have to tell you?

No shirt, no shoes...

No catdog.

( Dog whimpering )

( Nails screeching )

( Yelling )

Cat, i paid for food

and i didn't get food.

That no-good,
second-rate, fast-food rabbit.

He can't treat me...
Or you... us like this!

We've been kicked out of much
better two-bit restaurants.

Dog, you shall get
your greasy, disgusting taco

even if i have
to eat one myself.

What a sweet little baby.

( Giggling )

( Cooing )

Huh?

( Laughing )

( Yelling )

( Party horns tooting )

( Yelping )

( Shouting )

( Bird screeching )

( Spurs jingling )

( All gasping )

( All screaming )

( Jangling )

( Hawking )

Looking for some... eats.

Mm... well...

All right.

( Spurs jangling )

Looks like your barn door
is open there, partner.

Happy trails.

( Howling )

( Screaming )

Ringer!

( Bell dings )

( Honking )

( Hooting )

( Whistling )

( Hooting )

Va-va-va-voom!

Whoa!

Man:
Hubba-hubba!

Just one bottle

of your finest sparkling
Mexican water, please.

Well...

( Chuckling )

( Clearing throat )

Hello there, pretty lady.

( Giggling )

Oh, please, you...
You're embarrassing me.

Manager:
Where've you been all my life,
you quesadilla cutie?

Find taco bar.

Find taco bar.

Find taco bar.

Taco bar, taco bar.

Find taco bar.

Find the taco bar.

Find the taco bar.

You're such a tease.

( Giggles )

Find that taco bar.

Find that taco bar.

Find that taco bar.

Find it, find it.

Find it.

Find it.

Oh, well,
it's pronounced
"chim-ee-changa."

Yes, can you say that?

It's such a beautiful word.

Taco bar.

Taco bar.

Taco bar...

Taco bar.

Nice try, but no tacos
for you today.

( Cackling )

( Screaming throughout... )

Hmm. Only one thing more
pathetic than a dumb dog:

A dumb dog attached to
an extremely dumb cat.

( Laughing )

Cat, i don't feel
like tacos anymore.

Let's try another place.

Dog, you can't quit on me now.

We've paid for our food.

And they refuse us service.

It's plain un-American.

First, they take away the tacos.

Then, the chimichangas,
which is a beautiful word.

What next?

Um, refried beans?

Exactly.

We'll show that rabbit.

Yeah, two heads
are more than one.

Cat:
Okay, synchronize watches...

Now.

( Ticking )

( Grunting )

( General conversation )

Take the rope

grasp it firmly
in your fingers

and lower me down...

Slowly.

( Shouting )

( Yelping... )

( Grunts )

( Screaming... )

Catdog.

( Laughing, cheering )

Hey, knock it off.

You're making a mess.

My boss...

I'm warning you.

Man:
Ahem.

What's going on here?

Well, Mr. depot.

What an unexpected pleasure.

Mr. depot:
Can it, rabbit.

This place is a pigsty.

You call yourself
a manager?

Look at you!

( Whimpering )

You're eating all my profits!

Here, kid.

You're the new manager.

Yes, sir, your,
uh, taco-ness.

( Moaning )

Oh, i feel sick, dog.

But it's a good sick

because we won.

I think.

Dunglap:
Wow! I've been promoted

and it's only
my first day.

From now on,
you guys can eat here

any time you want.

Hey, cat,
how about some dessert?

Something a little light,
maybe sherbet or sorbet?

What?

Oh...

No, i don't think so.

Dog:
Hey, cat? Cat?

Wake up.

Hello.

Earth to cat.

Yoo-hoo.

♪ One fine day
with a woof and purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug ♪

♪ and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine ♪

♪ little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road ♪

♪ or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog... ♪