01x07 - Armed and Dangerous/Fistful of Mail!

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine,
little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪

( Seagulls crying )

Cat:
Beautiful!

Seven days on a tropical island.

This will be our best vacation
ever!

Um, cat?

Hey, you pedal, i drive.

But, but, but, cat!

No back-pedal driving!

Huh?

( Cat screeches... )

( Horn honking... )

( Screeching... )

( Both screaming... )

( Screaming... )

( Both grunting, groaning )

( Car, truck horns honking... )

Dog:
Oh, no...

...we are stuck on
a traffic island, cat.

Dog ( Echoing ):
We're bike-wrecked!

No way!

We'll be
out of here

and on our plane
in no time.

( Buzzing... )

Come on, come on,
come on, you stupid...

We'll just cross
when the traffic stops.

( Truck blowing horn )

( Horns blowing... )

I'm going to take
a look around.

Well, don't go
too far.

We're getting
out of here pronto.

( Beeping, ringing )

( Ringing... )

Winslow residence,
winslow speaking.

Winslow, great.

We're trapped.

You've got to send help.

Sorry, I'm busy.

I'm having a yard sale.

I'll give you
a dime

for this yarn
ball collection.

No, winslow, stop.

don't you dare!

Sold, my friend.

Got to go, cat.

Business is booming! ( Laughs )

No, winslow!

We need help!

( Frustrated grunting )

Lousy, stinking rat, rat, rat!

( Frustrated grunting )

Dear anybody.

Help!

Yours truly, catdog.

( Grunts )

( Bottle shattering )

Cat:
We're never getting
off this thing.

Cat, i got a
surprise for you.

( Cat gasping )

So that's what
you've been doing.

Now we gather
food for feast.

( Grunting )

"No littering," eh?

( Blowing like conch shell )

( Slurping )

Dog, this is paradise.

♪ A pretty little piece
of paradise ♪

♪ that's a-where i want to be ♪

♪ a pretty little piece
of paradise ♪

♪ for you and me ♪

♪ ukaliki poonalikilau ♪

cat:
Pretty little piece
of paradise...

♪ Wallawalla whoopido ♪

that's a-where
i want to stay.

♪ Ukaliki poonalikilau ♪

pretty little piece
of paradise...

♪ Anapika goitapu ♪
can never go away.

♪ Everybody! ♪

dog and chorus:
♪ pretty little piece
of paradise ♪

♪ it's the perfect
place to be ♪

♪ pretty little piece
of paradise ♪

♪ 'cause I'm with you
and you're with me! ♪

( slurping )

( Slurping )

Cat, did you hear
all those other people?

No.

Hmm.

( Strong wind blowing... )

( Distant rumbling... )

( Crashing... )

A tidal wave?

A hurricane?

( Rumbling... )

Both:
Street sweeper!

( Wind blowing )

Cat:
Dog, we're in the
eye of the sweeper.

( Dog whimpering )

( Both grunting, groaning )

( Both panting )

Cat:
Our beautiful paradise
is gone.

All gone!

( Sobbing )

( Coughs )

I wish winslow
was here.

( Coughs )

Yeah, we could
eat him.

( Sniffing )

Hey, is that...
Is that bacon frying?

Hear me, almighty black circle
of steel-belted wisdom.

Need food!

Hmm... crazy cat.

Dog is king.

Eat the dog.

Yes, master.

King hungry.

( Slurping )

It's dinner time, dog boy!

Go for it!

( Growling, screeching )

Ah... ah...

( Both yammering... )

Look what you
made me do.

Dog, we got to get
out of here.

( Horns honking )

I christen thee
the s.S. Catdog.

Aye, steady as
she goes, Mr. dog.

( Both yelping )

( Both yelling )

( Both whimpering )

( Both screaming )

( Both yelling... )

( Siren sounding )

Cat:
Dog!

Look, dog.

We're almost home!

I'm so sorry
i tried to eat you.

Well, me too,
but we're safe at last.

Both:
Waterfall!

( Both yelling... )

Cat?

Cat.

Oh, no!

( Groans )

Dog...

Dog!

We made it!

We're finally in paradise!

Wait a minute...

"Vacation fun!"?

What's so fun about being
stuck on a billboard?

Dog:
This is the way to be.

What?

I feel sorry for
those other suckers...

Feel sorry for us.

...in the workaday world,
don't you, cat?

Yeah, right.

Feel that sand
between your toes.

It's something
the pigeons left.

What a deal.
This is the best
time of year...

It's a great deal?

When it's not overrun
with tourists.

Beautiful.
Just peachy!

( Stadium organ playing... )

( Crowd cheering... )

( Crowd cheers )

Great seats,
eh, cliff?

( Laughs )

Hey, whoa! Whoa!

Hey, keep it steady
down there.

Duh... sorry, cliff.

What you doing, greasers?

Can i play, can i play, huh?

( Growls):
I'm tough, i steal nuts.

Blah!

b*at it, squirrel.

I'm greaser
to the core.

Go ahead, cut me open and see.

I want to be a greaser!

I am a greaser!
I am a dog!

A dog, a dog!

Uh... whew-whew.

( Shuddering )

T-tick!

Tick!

( Lube yelps )

Whoa, whoa, hey! Aw!

( Crowd cheers )

Get him off me.

( Whimpering )

Get him off me.

( Shriek shrieks )

Tick!

Wait! Come back!

( Gasps )

What the... ?

What is it with you dogs
and ticks?

( Sniffs )

( Pinches )

( Scream, thump )

There.

I saved your life.

You are an
honorable cat

that deserves
much respect.

And since you
save-ed my life

i will be
your loyal servant.

Ew...

Hey, lube.

We just ran off for help.

The tick's gone, right?

Hey, what do
you think i am

stupid or something?

You ditched me
when i needed you.

I'm with cat now.

Later, greaser dogs.

It fits like a glove.

( Cat clears throat )

♪ Tick... ♪

( screams )

( Laughs )

You know, saving lives
sure makes you hungry.

Say no more.

Mmm, sandwiches.

Hey, mutt, i made
these for cat.

( Chortling )

Why, thank you, lube.

Oh, perfect.

( Snickering )

Oh, no, your tongue
is no good here.

Oh...

Great job, lube.

( Mumbling ):
Oh, forget about it.

( Sarcastically ):
Hmm, great job, lube.

Yeah. Great job.

( Cracks knuckles )

Hmm, a little dull.

I'll give them
a razor edge, cat.

Allow me, dog.

A scratching post, for me?

Yep.

I whacked my own leg

so youse could keep
your claws sharp.

That's crazy.

Uh-uh-uh-uh, dog, remember.

I did save lube's life.

( Chuckles )

( Bicycle bell rings )

( Snoring )

( Also snoring )

( Bicycle bell rings )

Paper boy!
Paper boy!

Paper boy.

( Bicycle bell rings again )

( Both yelling )

( Snickering )

Here you go, cat... huh?

( Bicycle bell rings )

( Growls )

Now you and i
are one.

A striking
resemblance.

Wouldn't you
say, dog?

( Huffs )

Hey, catdog.

Back, tiny freak.

Whoa!

Who's the joker?

Winslow, meet my muscle...

Lube.

( Grunting )

Yeah, well,
step aside, beefcake.

I need something
out of the fridge.

Whoa!

Ooh!

Ooh-ooh! Oh! Yow! Ow!

( Yowling )

( Chuckles )

Winslow, corner pocket.

Listen, lube, you're
way out of bounds here.

Winslow is our...

( Muffled ):
Friend.

Easy there,
lube.

Stand back, cat.

He's dangerous.

don't be
ridiculous.

( Sneezes )

( Screams )

Germs!

( Clattering )

What are you doing?

Think nothing
of it, cat.

I am your loyal servant.

( Snoring... )

( Muffled pleading )

( Garbled )

( Muffled )

( Garbled... )

Funny, yet sad.

( Crowd cheers )

( Straining )

( Squirrel grunts )

Higher, we can't see.

( Grunting and groaning )

( Squealing )

I miss lube.

Winslow:
You miss lube, eh?

Well, i know how
you can get him back.

You listening?

Yeah, we're
listening.

All right,
here's the deal.

Cat saved lube's
life, right?

Now, if lube can save cat's life

then he won't owe cat squat.

Yeah, yeah.

So all we got to do
is try to waste the cat

and have lube
come to the rescue.

You're not as dumb as you look.

Yeah, told you.

( Grunts )

Eh, who needs that looser, lube?

The greaser dogs, that's who.

Morons.

( Knocking at door )

We're here to waste cat!

Greasers!

( Reading ):

Not while lube's around.

I fall for that every time.

( Glass squeaks )

( Gasps )

Ah... ah... much better.

Say your prayers, cat.

No...!

( Door slams )

( Footsteps )

Quick, play dead.

( Panting )

Cliff! Shriek!

Nice going, lube.

You saved cat's life.

I did?

Oh, yes, why, cliff would have
wasted me for sure.

Your debt to cat
has been repaid.

It was?

You can come back
and be a greaser.

I can?

The greaser dogs
are back in business.

( Thunderclap )

Not so fast!

( Humming )

( Yells )

He's got a tick!

I'm not afraid
to use it, either.

If i can't be a greaser,
no one can.

Drop the tick, squirrel.

Whatever you say, cliff.

( Laughs )

T-t-tick!

Cliff, shriek...

Hang on, lube.

We'll save you.

Hey! It's sucking
the life out of me.

One, two, three.

Ooh! Ooh!

Get off of me, get off of me!

( Screeching )

Cliff, shriek.

You save-ed my life.

Welcome back
to the greasers,
lube, old pal.

We sure missed you.

( Smack )

( Screaming )

( Thump )

Okay, show's over.

( Cracking knuckles )

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine ♪

♪ little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪