01x15 - New Neighbors/Dead Weight

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine,
little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪

Dog:
Far out, on a distant planet

galaxy dog,
the super space hero

searches for signs
of evil activity.

Please,
this is just stupid.

Cat, it was my turn
to pick the game

and i picked galaxy dog.

Fine.

Okay, you mean old alien

I'm taking you to space prison

so you better
just give up.

Never!

( Scary laugh )

Cat?

Who's cat?

( Growls )
I'm an alien

and I'm going to
suck your brains!

Oh!

Okay, I'm done.

I don't want
to play any more.

( Howls )

( Laughs )

Hey, dog.

( Howling )
Wait, dog!

( Groans )

( Birds twittering )

Go away, you evil, old alien.

Please, it's just me, dog.

And I'm sick of this
idiotic game, okay?

( Beeping, barking )

Aha,
look what time it is.

Dog's time is over,
and cat's time has begun.

But i don't
want to read.

Well, i do,
so please keep quiet.

( Tapping )

Dog, isn't there something
you'd like to read?

I know!

What? Hold it.

( Crashing )

( Panting )

( Groans )

Mmm... I'm reading
the evil aliens

who moved in across the street
and sucked brains.

That science fiction trash

is going to rot
what little brain you have.

( Horn honking )

What was that?

Looks like we've got
some new neighbors.

( Horn honks )

That wasn't there
this morning.

Yeah, they sure build them
fast these days.

( Gasps )

( Electrical crackling )

Cat, i don't
want to scare you

but i think our neighbors
are aliens.

And i think I'm attached
to a nincompoop.

( Whimpers )

What if they capture us

and take us to their planet?

( Refrigerator door slams open )

( Moans, groans )

( Teeth chattering )

( Yelling )

( Metallic banging )

Oh! Oh! Oh!

( Rubbery squeak )

( Screaming )

( Gasping )

Ooh... they're ugly.

Beyond ugly.

Look at the stupid alien.

( Gasping )

( Electricity zapping )

I don't want
to be probed!

You are one
pathetic dog.

No one is
getting probed.

( Odd clattering )

Oh!... oh!

( Machine thumping
and banging... )

Ooh...

It's the brain-sucking machine.

Oh, stop reading this junk.

Hey, what's with
the noisy neighbors?

Winslow,
they're real, live aliens.

They're real, live
pains in the rear end.

I'm going to go over

and give them
a piece of my mind.

No! That is exactly
what they want.

Oh, let him go.

If we're lucky,
they'll eat him.

( Banging continues... )

( Horrific screaming )

They turned winslow blue.

He's always blue.

( Laughs )
I set those neighbors straight.

They sucked out
his brain.

He probably forgot
to put his contacts in.

Gee whillikers!

See?

Winslow never, ever said,
"gee whillikers" before.

It's no coincidence.

He's a space zombie.

( Sputtering )

Get me the nearburg police.

( Snoring while man
screams in background )

( Rings )

Nearburg police,
what's your problem?

What, what, what?

Help, aliens moved in
across the street!

Aliens?

Ooh, you got
some proof?

Proof? I got proof.

They have the green,
ultra-deadly laser beam

they suck out
your brains

and winslow said,
"gee whillikers."

Could you get here?

You know, maybe you should

stop reading comic books.

( Sighs )

No one believes me.

Go fig.

( Bell rings )

Cat:
Oh!

Yii!

They're coming to get us!

Whatever you do,
don't open that door.
Oh, just...

don't open the door,
don't open the door.

Do not open the door.

Cat:
Hello?

Hello, neighbors.

May we borrow
a cup of sugar?

( Chuckles )

Your aliens want to
borrow a cup of sugar.

That's how
they live.

I'll be right back, ladies.

We're baking cookies.

You must have some.

Thank you, hon.

Come visit us.

Well, what do you have
to say for yourself?

Whoo-hoo!

They're aliens
wearing old lady disguises.

I give up.

I'm going to bed.

I hope i don't have
a bad dream about aliens.

( Sighs )

I have a very strong
feeling you will.

( Snoring softly )

( Fan creaks )

( Whimpers )

( Gulps )

( Screaming )

Sacre bleu!

Mamma Mia!

Oh, dash it all.

( Aliens laughing )

Alien:
The world is ours!

( Dog screaming )

( Gasps )

Dog, what are you...

Dog:
Let me go!

Cat:
Will you stop it?

( Shrieks )

( Grunts )

( Wheezing )

The evil space grannies
are taking over the world.

Okay.

That's it!

I'm going to march you
right over there

and show you that
those grannies

are just grannies.

No! don't take me
to the grannies!

Of all the crazy, stupid ideas.

Cat:
I'm going to show you

those comic books
are not real.

Will you just...

( Cat sputters )

You're trying to make
me see the grannies.

I don't want to be
a space zombie.

Whoa!

Oh!

Hello, kitty-doggie.

Come in.

( Sputtering )

I wouldn't
love to.
We'd love to.

I don't want to go.

We're coming in... now.

( Sobbing )

Shh.

Um...
( Laughs )

Sorry to bother you

but, um, would
you please

tell my canine
friend that...

The death ray!

( Water bubbling )

Nice aquarium!

Mm-hmm.

( Odd banging and thumping )

The brain-sucking machinery!

Let me turn off
that old washing machine.

It's so noisy-poisy.

And I'll get us
some drinks.

Well?

Does someone have
something to say?

Um... well...

Maybe they're not space aliens
who want to suck our brains

and kidnap us and probe us
with probey-type things.

Who wants a cookie?

I don't ever want to hear
another word from you

about aliens ever!

Promise?

Okay, i promise.

( Snoring )

Male alien:
Retrieve the master plans.

Mission accomplished,
commanders.

Excellent.

Commence the invasion
of earth.

( Screaming )

Help.

What?

The house and the cookies
and the grannies and the...

Never mind.

Next up
on really incredible people

rancid rabbit interviews

a really incredible person.

( Tires squealing )

( Applause )

Oh, my gosh.

It's the Ingrid twins.

Hey, get out of the road,
'cause here i come.

Whoo! Vroom, vroom,
vroom, vroom!

Drive, drive, drive, drive...

Dog, dog, dog, dog!

Do you mind?

I'm trying to get a date
with the twins.

Now, if you play it cool,
I'll invite you along, too.

Okay.

( Squeaky honking )

Rancid:
Welcome to really incredible
people.

In today's installment

we interview Brock lang,
airplane pilot extraordinaire.

( Suavely ):
So, my two ingrids

would you lovely ladies
like to join me

for a night
on the town?

Dog:
Oh, yeah.

( Squeaky honking )

Vroom, vroom, vroom.

Shift, shift, shift!

( Laughs nervously )

Sorry, catsie.

We're going out
with Brock lang.

Ja, he's on TV.

But that's not fair.

You two always go out
with the guys on TV.

No, movies too.

Bye-bye.

If you know someone really
incredible like Brock

give us a call.

That's it!

Cat...

Oh, no.

( Grunting )

Yeah, yeah,
i got someone really incredible

you should interview-- me!

( Yelling )

Hmm... no, thanks.

No, wait, don't hang up.

I have many unique talents.

I'm, I'm, I'm athletic

and i can juggle.

And, and I'm also attached
to a dog.

A two-headed creature. Nice.

We'll do the interview tomorrow.

Dog, we're going to be on TV!

Do you know what that means?

Yeah, tele-vision.

Now, dog,
get a good night's rest.

Tomorrow we'll be seen

by millions and billions
of people.

And all their eyes
will be on you.

Wow. ( Snoring )

Millions and billions.

That sounds
like a lot of eyes.

Millions and billions, huh?

( Whistles )

All staring at me.

Millions and billions.

Millions and billions?

Millions and billions.

Many, many, many eyes.

I'm freaking myself out.

( Whimpering softly )

( Snoring... )

( Birds chirping )

( Car door closes )

Ah. Wake up, sleepyhead.

Fame is a-knocking at the door.

( Knocking continues )

Dog? ( Snoring )

Dog!

( Dog barking, cat meowing )

Hmm...

This better be good.

Dog, wake up.

Wake up, i tell you.

Wake up, boy.

Um, coming.

Come on, dog!

( Horn blaring )

They expect to interview
both of us

and i told the ingrids
I'd be on TV tonight!

( Yelps )

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

This sort of thing must happen
all the time.

I'm sure i can do the interview
without dog, no problem.

( Yells )

Both of these guys
better be perky.

If it don't perk,
it won't work.

( Snoring, groaning... )

Okay, good.

This is going to work.

Um, come in.

Come in and, and welcome
to our humble abode.

Humble is right.

You must be cat,
and you must be dog.

Well, dog's a little shy.

But don't worry

'cause i can do most
of the talking.

Hmm, shy
doesn't work on TV.

( Clears throat )

( Imitating dog ):
Uh, don't mind cat.

He's such a kidder.

( Imitates dog's laugh )

I'm not shy.

Let's make TV magic.

So, what's it like being
a conjoined twin?

A "catdog"?

Dog, you first.

Well, uh...

( Clears throat )

Hmm...

Funny that you should ask.

Let me think about that,
with my brain.

I think much better
in this position.

Oh, excuse us, excuse us.

You know, our stomach has been
acting up a bit lately.

Right, dog?

You share a stomach.

Fascinating.

What's that like?

Millions, billions
of people.

Billions of people
have asked us

that same question.

Rancid:
I guess you must be
pretty popular, huh?

Oh, yes, especially
with the girls.

Cat here is a babe magnet.

What are you nuts?

Women find him repulsive.

Get lost, rat face.

Can't you see I'm being
interviewed for TV?

Psst, hey, dog.

Are you going to let
your lesser half

steal all
the spotlight?

Say, i get it.

( Laughs )

Cat, on the phone

you were telling me
how athletic you are.

Well, i don't want...
Not on...

Bet you never seen a two-headed
creep play catch with itself.

Why, no, i haven't;
Let's see it.

Is something wrong with him?

He didn't catch it.

Oh, well, actually...

This is
how we play catch.

Oh, that's a good throw, dog.

That was pretty good.

What else you got?

They won a bronze
at the unicycle Olympics.

Wait!

Never in
a million years...

On the other hand

the ingrids
will be watching.

Make sure you film

my good side
for the lovely ladies.

( Yelling )

What are you...?

Fabulous.

Now, this is what
i call perky television.

( Yelling... )

( Crashes )

( Cat screaming )

I can't find the brake on this!

Yow!

Not my good side.

Whoo-hoo!

Nothing is worth
all this t*rture.

Not even TV.

( Snoring )

Hey, Mr. rancid, I've got
a confession to make...

See you on TV, cat.

And then maybe we'll go out.

What did you want to say?

TV?

Oh, TV is our greatest
national pastime.

Well said.

Did cat tell you

how he and dog are champion
synchronized swimmers?

What?! I'm a cat.

Cats don't swim.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

We got to see that.

( Cat meowing )

( Bubbling )

Okay, that's a wrap.

Let's put this baby to bed.

Now that was TV magic.

( Yawning )

Hey, wake up, cat.

don't we have
an interview to do?

( Crickets chirping )

( Music playing )

Cat, did we miss
your big TV debut?

Not yet.

In a few minutes
I'll be world-famous

no thanks to a certain
little blue rat boy.

So, ladies...
( Chuckling smugly )

Where should we go
on our date tonight?

Hush, it's starting.

Welcome to really incredible
people.

Tonight, we interview
a suave, debonair, young lad

with a relaxed, laid-back style

all his own... dog.

( Gasps )

What makes this canine
so special is

that he's had to overcome
the horrible affliction

of having a cat for a tail.

( Cackling maliciously )

Big TV star.

Ooh, doggie, you were
so handsome on TV.

We go out now, ja?

( Groaning )

Yeah, people sense
if you're trying too hard.

You know, i just lay back,
lay back.

Let the charisma do the work.

♪ One fine day
with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ a baby was born
and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ no blue bug
and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ just a feline, canine ♪

♪ little catdog ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog ♪

♪ out on the road
or back in town ♪

♪ all kind of critters
putting catdog down ♪

♪ got to rise above it,
got to try to get along ♪

♪ got to walk together,
got to sing this song ♪

♪ catdog... catdog... ♪

♪ alone in the world
was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world
was a little catdog. ♪