09x03 - And All That Jazzzzzzz

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Rob, turn off that stupid movie!

[Rob] I have chlamydia.

[coughing]

My eyes, I opened up a bottle of, um…

-[Rob] Cristal?
-[Kim] …hand sanitizer,

and it squirted right in my eye,
and b*rned my eye.

Aren't you used to that?

-Mm-hmm.
-[Khloé] With Kanye?

[Rob] Mmm, sounds like me.

[Khloé laughs]

Your boob is, like,
leaking out of control!

[Kim] It is? Oh, my god.

[Khloé] What is happening?

[Rob] What the [bleep]?
That weirds me out for real.

-Whoa!
-That just weirded me out.

-[Kim] Sorry.
-[Khloé] It is like a water fountain.

[Kim] Only on one side. Interesting.

Okay, sorry.

[Rob] See you, guys. It's been fun.

[upbeat music]

When I was 17 years old, I moved out
and I, like, lived on my own…

And you married a man
15 years older than you.

That was your dad.

[Khloé] And you lied to how old you were.

-[Kendall] You did?
-Mm-hmm.

[Kendall] How old did you say you were?

-A lot older.
-I see where you got it from.

[Kourtney] Thank you.

-Thank you. This is crazy.
-[Kendall] Whipped cream.

[Kris] The saddest thing about
this little dessert,

it's, like, ceremoniously devastating
because this is Lamar's favorite dessert.

[Kris] He would love it if he was here.

Where am I gonna sleep tonight, guys?

My room.

My room.

[pensive music]

[Kourtney] Oh, my god.

Not that this is exciting for you,

but Scott is leaving for, like, two weeks.

Absolutely not am I staying at your house.

Why?

[Khloé] Absolutely not.

[Khloé] Right now, my personal life
is a little chaotic.

And I just, I hate being at home.

Like, like, my brother's gone,

like, I don't want to be
at home by myself.

So I've basically thrown all my
bare necessities into some suitcases,

and I'm kind of living
out of my car right now.

So I'm kind of excited
and scared at the same time.

I mean, the talk show's over.
For the summer.

And now we don't know what to do
with all my spare time.

I keep seeing online that
it's canceled. Is that true?

-[Khloé laughs]
-No.

It's not canceled.

[Kourtney] I think, no matter what,
whatever is meant to be,

me and you had so much fun.

[Kris] Well, it was, like,

"Here's your dream come true,
you're doing this amazing talk show."

And if it never goes anything beyond that,
I had the best summer of my life.

Are you gonna cry now too?

-[Kris] No, I'm just…
-[Kendall] Yeah. She, like…

Aw. This is my emotional turmoil
taking over me.

Okay, suck it, Khloé.

[Kourtney] Well, then.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] We got to pace ourselves.

-[Rob] We're walking.
-[Khloé] Going downhill.

[Rob] Yup. It took me a couple months
to get in the groove, but I'm here.

[man] I know, Rob! k*ll it!

[Rob] Work, Pandora, work.

[Khloé] Come on, Rob.

-[Khloé] Come on, Rob, you can do it.
-[Rob] Yeah, baby.

[Khloé] Get those love handles going.

You know, living with Khloé and Lamar,

it was very easy for me
to fall off my routine,

'cause Khloé stocked the pantry
with literally everything Lamar wanted.

-[Khloé] Robert.
-[Rob] Junk food and candy.

So ever since I moved out of Khloé's,
I've been getting my life in order.

[Rob] Khloé, that was hard, right?

-[Khloé] Hi.
-[Rob] You want this towel?

And I just want to have
a really happy, positive year.

One, two, three.

[all] Hey!

Chicago.

[both whoop]

We are on Broadway.

-[Jonathan] We're going to the theater.
-[Kris laughs]

-We're going to the theater.
-And you have a scarf on.

I feel very sophisticated,
going to the theater.

[Kris] I came to New York
for a meeting this week.

And one of the things I love to do
when I'm in New York

is going to a Broadway play.

[Kris] My mom has taken me to musicals
and plays since I was a little girl.

-[usher] Here you go, sweetheart, enjoy.
-Thank you so much.

Thank you.

[Kris] And ever since she took me to see
Shirley MacLaine in Sweet Charity,

I fell in love with singing and dancing,

although I typically do it
in the privacy of my own bedroom.

[crowd applauding]

-That was amazing.
-That was great.

-[man] Hello. Welcome.
-This is awesome!

Oh, my god, oh, my god.

-You guys look so fabulous.
-So lovely to meet you.

-You're so beautiful.
-Thank you. You look gorgeous, as usual.

-[Jonathan] Hi. How are you?
-We're singing along to your last number.

-She is just like…
-I'm like, "I could do this."

-…thinking she could be up here.
-I could.

Oh, my god, totally come play with us!

[Kris] You guys are so awesome.

Can we take a sh*t?

[Donna] Oh, my god, yes.

[Kris] And we're gonna Instagram this.

[woman] Jazz hands.

[Kris laughs]

[woman] Oh, yes. Get it, girls and boys.

Did you get one?

I got, like, 10,000 photos
in the last two minutes.

She thinks she's like
a Broadway star already.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Rob, you should have more
pictures of me around your house.

[Rob] I have two family photos
and one birthday picture.

That's three pictures.

You tied Kim.

[Khloé] I should not tie Kim.

What movie are you tryna
watch tonight?

Are we watching a movie together?
You want to hang out with me more?

Maybe if you want me to school you
on some movies,

I'm pretty good at that.
That's kind of my trap with the ladies.

[laughs]

So… how is tu madre's house?

[Khloé] I mean…
[scoffs]

Staying at Mom's when Kim,
a baby, a baby nurse, Kendall…

I am so grateful
that Mom's letting me stay there,

but it's too stressful.
I just cannot live out of my car…

Like, literally, my car has duffel bags
on duffel bags just in it.

-I told you…
-I'm a duffel bag boy.

…I have extra rooms,
you're more than welcome to stay here.

And we got brand new beds
and towels and sheets.

I thought you're tryna get away from me.

I am, but if you need to live somewhere
and be comfortable, then you…

What am I gonna do?
You got to live somewhere.

It's just temporary.
[sighs]

[Rob] I love Khloé, and she doesn't feel
comfortable in her house right now,

and I want to be there for her.

She let me live with her and Lamar.

But at the same time,

we have a tendency to just get
very codependent on one another.

[Khloé] I really miss you, but I'm good.

And, literally, all I want to do
is just stay focused on my plan.

It's just been way too long of me
being unhappy.

[laughs]
[Khloé] See you later.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[door closes]

-[Kris] That was so much fun.
-We haven't done New York altogether

-for a long time.
-No, we haven't. It's been a minute.

[Kris] I was thinking,
promise not to laugh,

I would do something on Broadway.

Ooh.

[singing]
♪ La, la, la, da-da-da-da, da-da ♪

-You always come up with this stuff.
-I have--

-Because, I, I…
-This is unbelievable…

Where does she come up with this?

-No, we just wrapped the Kris show, right?
-Yeah.

[Kris] And I enjoy the…

-The live audience?
-…excitement and the audience,

and I think that I am kind of into this.

-[Jonathan] Into this, you mean into what?
-I'm into being on Broadway.

-Stop.
-[woman] Since when?

What… What do you mean?

"Into being on Broadway" means,
like, in a Broadway show?

Why not? Who says no?

I definitely love to dream big…

[Jonathan] Oh, no.

…and really go after a challenge,
and this feels like a challenge.

I think that if we were to do something

and I moved to New York
for a couple of weeks,

-just to have a little fun.
-I'd be happy if you're in New York.

You could literally stay at my place.

[Kris] I did the talk show,

and that was my biggest dream
at that time.

It just goes to show
you never stop dreaming.

-Well, I'll show--
-♪ Oh yeah, baby! ♪

♪ Excuse me
Could I get a ravioli with truffles? ♪

-[Kourtney] Hey.
-[Tomer] Hey.

[Scott] Hey, Tom.

[Kourtney] You guys, it's time to start
ordering Christmas trees.

-Where am I gonna put mine?
-Next door.

-We're gonna go see the house next door.
-[Scott] And by the way,

then you could start figuring out
where you want to go,

you could look at other places.

Kourtney has been definitely
pushing me to rent the house,

like, directly next to hers.

-[Scott] Let's go next door.
-[Khloé] Let's go.

[Khloé] I mean,
she's been saying,

"And we could build a tunnel
that could connect our houses,

so we could all hang out."

[Scott] Yo, this is a nice little area
to come home to.

-I think we're into it.
-This is a nice feng shui.

[Khloé] You guys, I don't like living
in other people's homes.

[Tomer] They do want you
to leave the covers, though.

[Tomer laughing]

For the six months that I'm here?

[Khloé] I mean, it's a cute little number,
but not my steez.

[Kourtney] No?

[Khloé] Kourtney, are you joking, man?

[Kourtney] Well, what's the big to-do?

You only want it
'cause I'm next door to you.

You would never do this, though.

Yeah, but how fun would that be
to be next door?

I don't get a good feng shui here.

So do you want to get a hotel?

[Kourtney] And get clothes and then Sydney
could do weekly clothing trips?

I guess.

I don't know.
Why are you pushing me so much, though?

No, I just feel like you've said
you don't feel comfortable in your house.

Renting a house or buying a home
is so permanent,

and I'm not there right now.

I mean, I love my home.

It just obviously has, like, a little
darkness that we need to clean out.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] You're not gonna help me
with my luggage? You're the man.

[Khloé] I am actually really excited

that Rob has asked me
to stay with him for a little bit.

Shacking up with Kendall has been fun,

but Kris Jenner's house
has way too many people.

[Khloé] Yay! Where are we going, Robbie?

[Rob] I'm putting you
in the casual white room.

And my emotions are so all over the place.

I need a second to do things
my way and in my time.

-Can I change these?
-No, these are nice.

[Khloé] But what if I just replace them
with my own lamps?

Ugh, yeah, just don't get makeup
all over the sheets.

Why would I get makeup
all over the sheets? I'm sleeping in here.

[Rob] You're right.

-Can I see the other room?
-Yeah.

[Khloé] Is this the sex room?

[Rob] No, that's my room.
I don't do that in other rooms.

[Khloé] Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Let's go to your room.

[Rob] You're definitely not going
in my room.

[Khloé] I like how big this bed is.

[Rob] Yeah, it's good.

-Don't you think I could sleep in here?
-No.

Oh, my god,
your mattress is so comfortable.

-Get off my bed.
-No.

I like your bed.

I just want to sleep here with you.

[Rob] You know, I'm gonna give this
a chance, with Khloé living with me.

[Khloé] Can we Instagram
our friendship bracelets now?

[Rob] But I just really hope
that having her back in my house

doesn't throw me off my whole routine.

Thanks, Rob.

[upbeat music]

[Kris] Ever since New York,
I have been obsessing about

fulfilling my dream
of performing on Broadway.

Morning.

-[Kris] How are you?
-I'm fine. I brought this for you.

-Oh, my god, thank you so much.
-You're welcome.

But if I'm gonna go out on a limb here
and put myself out there on a big stage

and try to sing and dance,
then I want to be prepared.

So I want to take some vocal lessons
and also take some dance lessons.

Okay, we're gonna do these exercises.

-Okay. Okay.
-And then we'll go to the song.

So you're gonna go…

[vocalizing]

Like biting an apple.

[both vocalizing]

That's right. Okay.

[both vocalizing]

Great.

[Kris] Bob Garrett is one of the best
vocal coaches in the business.

Now, feel the jaw drop.

[vocalizing continues]

He has been hired by major A-list actors
to help them take the stage.

[Bob] Okay, you are completely
surprising me.

-I am?
-Yes.

At how quick you're doing this
and how well you're doing this.

-Really?
-I'm just sayin'.

-Okay, give me five.
-Yeah.

-Give me ten.
-[Kris] Ten.

[Bob] You also have
perfect pitch, just saying.

I think that his feedback
is kind of awesome.

[singing]
♪ Come on, babe ♪

♪ Why don't we paint the town? ♪

[fingers snap]

♪ And all that jazz… ♪

It's kind of inspiring.

♪ It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl ♪

♪ All… that… jazz ♪

-You had me till "nightly brawl".
-I know!

[both laugh]

[upbeat music]

What are you doing?
This is just… With the shoes?

Come on, mate.

This is my strip moves.

This is just…

This is not comforting.

[Kourtney] Comforting?

Is that what strippers are?

Even Ye rapped about it.

[Kourtney] I forgot to ask you.

Cici told me that she saw
a humongous billboard.

You are hosting a party
at a strip club in Vegas?

[Scott] What? No.

I don't think that's the case.

I saw an e-mail about some party
in Vegas, but… nothing else.

An e-mail about what?

Don't you care about, like, if people
just could use your name and not…

I saw an offer for Vegas,
but I didn't accept it or take it,

so there's no way
there's any billboards with me on it.

Well, there is.

I'm not hosting any parties
at any strip clubs.

So, somebody's mistaken.

Sometimes, I may let Scott
get away with things

just because it's easier
and I don't have time to deal,

but Scott thinks he is so slick,

like this little sneaky guy
doing appearances under the radar,

but I know what's happening.

Strip for me, baby. Do me…

[Scott] Oh, yeah.

-[chortles]
-[Scott] Holler if you heard me.

That's my best move.

That's your only move. I liked it.

[upbeat music]

-Trash.
-Smells very feminine-like.

[Khloé] Oh, my god!

Don't you like it? All the candles.

I might have to do
a little fixing, though,

'cause some things
don't make sense in here.

[Rob] Where are all my protein powders?

They're in the drawer.

And, look, we're gonna,
like, display this like this.

I have this [bleep] scent
of all these wack-ass candles.

This pad of paper
needs to be by your phone.

You think cheese really goes
right there like that?

When I live alone,

all I have in my fridge is water,
my protein powders, and that's it.

Why are you getting so mad over cheese?

-It's not about cheese.
-I'm gonna put that away.

It's about this being my [bleep].

-But I made you chicken…
-Look at all my [bleep]. It's nowhere.

[Rob] All I want to do
is stay focused on my plan.

I need to do things my way,
and Khloé is interfering with that.

[Khloé] Dinner's ready.

Look what I did for you, Robbie.

[Rob] Oh, yes, cheese.
So I can get fatter.

So much fun.

I just don't want to deal
with all this [bleep].

[Khloé] What [bleep]? What happ…

I'm trying to lose 60 pounds.

I'm not trying to lose, like,
five pounds or ten pounds,

so, I need to literally dedicate
my entire life to my fitness.

-No, I got to go to sleep.
-Here, you want a bite of chicken?

I've been the most unhappiest person
for about a year and a half.

And it's very, very easy
to just fall off the wagon.

-[Khloé] Want a bite?
-[Rob] No.

[upbeat music]

[Kourtney] How funny.
That's when I was babysitting that kid.

-He's crying and I'm literally texting.
-[Scott] Yeah, you were

super rude back then.

-Ow, man!
-Does that really hurt?

No, but it's annoying
when I'm a little sunburnt.

-[Chris] Hello?
-Oh, the Redas are here.

-[Nicole] How are you?
-[Kourtney] Hi.

Chris and Nicole are close family friends
who live in New York,

and they're in town visiting us.

What do we want to do tomorrow in the day?

Let's plan our fun day.

Do you guys want to go
to the beach on Sunday?

[Kourtney] We could also go
to Bernatoni's.

[Scott] That's too far.

[Kourtney] We could go to Nobu's
on Saturday night.

We're going to the city and have lunch.

You don't want to all go do
something together?

We're gonna be
with each other all weekend.

Can Chris and I
have a few minutes to just go…

This is a short couple of days.

[Kourtney] We could go to Neiman's
and have lunch there.

[Scott] Oh, perfect.

Nicole and I know that Scott
has an appearance in Las Vegas

and that him and Chris
are trying to be sneaky about it.

So, we are trying to catch them
in their shadiness.

You are going shopping,
we're going shopping,

and we'll meet up after.

So, we got our plans set for tomorrow?

Yeah.

[Kourtney] Do you want to go upstairs?
We're gonna go schmooze.

[Chris] Schmooze.

So, obviously,

they're not gonna tell us about Vegas.

Scott must think Nicole and I
are the biggest idiots in town.

I gave Scott such the perfect opportunity
to come clean.

Like, what if we said, like,
"We want to come with you guys"?

-No.
-No. Let's just go.

-We should just go there.
-And just show up?

It's only, like, a two-hour thing.
We could literally go for, like, an hour.

I say we hop on a plane
and we leave after they leave.

Their faces are going to drop.

We're some badass b*tches.

[laughs]

Scandal in Las Vegas.

[upbeat music]

[Spencer] I'm actually gonna teach you
the ABC's of dance,

so I think it's a great place
to start with you.

You want to keep your head
and your chest up.

Think "[bleep] out."

[Kris] I have hired Spencer Liff
to be my dance coach.

He's one of the most sought-after
choreographers in the business.

[Kris] If you can't dance and sing
at the same time on Broadway,

then you're pretty much toast.

I want you to step forward inside. Yes.

You'll want to come through and down,
and through and down. Nice.

[Spencer] Think, like, evil queen.

-I'm good at that.
-[Spencer] Exactly.

I'm good at evil queen.

I think you're a little, like,
closet musical theater show queen.

-I think really am. I am a show queen!
-I think you like Broadway.

[upbeat music]

[man] Hey, Robert. How are you?

-[man] Do you guys wanna sit down?
-[Rob] Yeah.

[man] So, this, guys, is the couture.

This is the next collection
that's going out.

I'll just, like, scan through them.

[Rob] Adam and Ryan, they've been
my friends since fourth grade.

And they started a shoe company.

The different patterns
are what make it unique.

-Yeah.
-I think they're cool.

You know, they have a shoe line,
I have a sock line,

so it's just a perfect collab,
so I want to show them my warehouse

and see, you know,
if we can work together.

-[Ryan] It's a nice warehouse.
-[Adam] It's real clean.

-So many socks.
-Oh, yeah.

-This would be, like, a dog's heaven.
-[Rob chuckles]

Um, you know, Khloé pretty much
is moving into my new spot with me.

How long is she gonna be there for?

I gave Khloé, like, open arms
to whatever she needs.

She's only been open arms to me.

[Rob] I obviously offered to her

'cause she's going through
a lot right now, but…

I feel like I'm going backwards.

And I'm back in the situation where,
like, I'm being more unproductive.

-It's like a role reversal.
-[Adam] How things changed!

I know. I still feel like I am having
to hold myself back from, like,

trying to do all the things
that I'm trying to accomplish.

Like, I moved out specifically
to be my own man and figure out

all this business stuff where we're at,
and health and fitness, and…

it's just a weird situation.

[Rob] Khloé and I, obviously,
are extremely close.

Honestly, sometimes, I feel like
I'm her husband, like, literally.

But it's just time for me
to focus on doing everything for me.

But don't make it so that
it's your sole focus in your life.

-[Ryan] Gotta be your own man.
-Exactly.

"You can sleep here, but let me flourish."

[upbeat music]

[Kris] What is that water?

It's, like, water with gas.
It's a brand-new thing, and it's insane.

Can I have a sip of that?

-[Jonathan] ♪ Ta-ra-ra-ra ♪
-So, I love that song.

♪ And all that jazz ♪

-No. You're still singing this?
-Yeah.

You didn't even know
I was taking dance lessons, did you?

You actually went through with this?

-Yes.
-Wait, dance lessons?

-[Kris] Dance lessons.
-Why?

-And singing lessons.
-I thought you were joking.

-No. I actually…
-We went to see Chicago,

and she told me she wants to be in it.
I thought it's a goof. We went backstage.

You know what I loved about it,
is when I was doing

the singing and dancing lessons,

I thought about nothing else.

Wait, they want you to be
in the play Chicago?

[Jonathan] I think she wants
to be in the play.

I don't know if they want her
to be in the play.

I don't know how
the audition process actually works.

-[Kris] But…
-Have you even spoken to anybody at all?

Yeah, you need to, like,
get your agent on this.

[Kris] I know.

Would you feel bad at all
for the people buying the tickets?

'Cause they're gonna have to sit
through you and not have a professional.

[Kris] Uh, no.

Broadway is serious.
I feel like you should respect it.

I don't know if I could do it.

-That'd be a scary thing to do.
-I don't think she's nervous at all.

-Let me hear what you got.
-Okay.

She was singing along while we were there.

I'm just gonna give you
my very first move.

-[Jonathan] Okay.
-Okay?

So, this is my…
Okay, so imagine the music.

♪ Come on, babe
We're gonna paint the town. ♪

[all laugh]

[Kris] ♪ And all that jazz… ♪

-[Jonathan] What town are you singing?
-Stop it.

You're high. My rib hurts.

♪ But the piano's hot ♪

-[Jonathan laughs]
-[Kris] I know.

[Jonathan] No,
this is really good. I think…

Is Chicago a comedy?

Well, no.

Wait, don't you have to have,
like, a good voice, though?

I have been working so hard
to build up my confidence

and feel like I could really do this,
because I have a deep passion for this.

And for Kim to actually laugh at me,
it really brings me down.

Well, I need to get back to work,

and I need you guys not to laugh

every time I show you something that
I'm working on because it's a buzzkill.

[upbeat music]

I just hope that they better be happy
when we get there.

[Kourtney] The only thing
I could see backfiring

is if Scott, he likes to use things as
an excuse, so I could see him being, like,

"Oh, well then, we're gonna stay
and we're gonna,

you know, party all night."

Look at those shoes.

I'm assuming that Scott and Chris
are taking a private plane,

so, we're hoping that we're not
gonna run into them at the airport.

All righty.

[upbeat music]

Okay.

I would switch shoes with you,
but I'm not your size.

-That's okay. What size are you?
-Seven.

Now I'm anxious.

[quirky music]

-[Nicole] You're gonna call him?
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

[cell phone ringing]

-[Scott] Hello?
-[Kourtney] Hi.

-[Scott] Hey, guys.
-We just had lunch at Stanley's.

-[Scott] How was it?
-It was good.

And now we're just
heading back to the house.

[Scott] Yeah, we're just shopping.

Okay, so we'll see you back at,
in a couple hours, or what?

[Scott] Yeah, like, an hour,
if we're able to hustle.

And are we still gonna have dinner?

[Scott] Yeah. We'll go to Nobu
if you want.

-Okay.
-[Scott] Okay, love you.

Okay, love you too.

[both laugh]

Here it is.

[Kourtney] Thank you.

[yelps]

I'm ready. Let's go.

I'm kind of nervous
of how they're gonna react,

but we are so excited
to go just bust them.

[DJ] Scott Disick's in the house!

[Kourtney] Oh, what did we get
ourselves into?

Wait, I don't understand.
You're allowed to be topless here?

What the [bleep].

What the [bleep] are you doing?

Hold on.

What the [bleep].

[Kourtney] We're here.
Let's get this party started!

[whooping]

We're here to party!

I look in back of me, and I see Kourtney
standing there like a little freak.

She's like MacGyver.

We're here to support you.

I think she may have
a tracking device on me.

I don't understand
what you guys think we're up to.

You realize wherever we go,
everybody's watching.

What did you think, you were gonna
get here and I was gonna freak out?

You never know.

I wish I could say that these
little games of running around,

keep Kourtney on her toes
and an exciting relationship,

but that's probably not the case.

I think Kourtney would like
if I never left the neighborhood.

Or the town, maybe… Okay, the town.

[Scott] Oh, you didn't miss it!

We're shaving his head!

[all cheering]

[woman] Oh, my god.

[upbeat music]

[man] No.

-[Kris] Hey.
-[Bruce] Hey, babe.

-What are you doing?
-I bought that for you.

[Bruce] You actually got that for me?

-Yeah.
-I'll take it.

Got any ice-cream?

-Ice-cream?
-Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

We got vanilla ice-cream.

So, I've been rehearsing
for this role on Broadway.

-Don't laugh.
-No.

How come everybody laughs at me?

I'm not laughing at you.

I mean, is it a singing role?
Then I would laugh.

Singing and dancing.

[Bruce] Kris thinks she can do anything.

And you know what? In most cases, she can.

A Broadway play?

I don't know.
The jury's still out on that one.

It's really ambitious and crazy, but…

That is really, really ambitious, yes.

Well, I got really excited about this

because I started working
with professionals.

-[Kris] And the singing coach…
-He better be really good.

…was telling me
I was hitting all the notes,

and I felt good about myself.

But then, I did a little dance
in front of Kim and Jonathan,

and they, like, told me to never dance
in front of anybody ever again.

First of all, you do what you want to do.

Remember my old line?

The ability to grow is directly related

to the amount of insecurity
you can take in your life.

Basically, stepping out and doing things
that you're not secure with.

-Right.
-But you get out the other side,

you'll be a better person.

You know?

If this day job thing
doesn't work out for you,

you could be a really good
motivational speaker one day.

-Yeah. Right.
-[Kris chuckles]

-Anyway, the apple pie's good.
-[Kris] Awesome.

[cheerful music]

[Scott] Hey, Bugsy Brown.

-[Kourtney] Hey.
-How are you?

-You never hang out in here.
-I like it in here.

It's kind of relaxing just to come
and sit back and think about

all the money I made today.

So, I just wanted to know,
why the need to lie…

-about going to Vegas?
-It's not about that I needed to lie.

I just felt like I didn't want to hear

all the reasons why
I shouldn't be hosting a party.

Don't you think
honesty is the best policy?

Honestly?

Not always.

I knew that I could get
the appearance done and get home.

Never in a million years
will I do that again.

I don't expect you
to be a genius or responsible.

I just expect you to be honest.

All right, so I'm honestly telling you.

I lied, and I went to Vegas.

[Kourtney] Of course, a woman knows
what her man is up to.

You just can't mess
with a woman's intuition.

There's just nothing like it.

You can't outsmart a smarty-pants.

Why don't you just put,
like, a little monitor on me?

-I'm down with that.
-I bet you are.

[upbeat music]

[Kourtney] Let's practice
our moves for Vegas.

This is what I'm going to do in the club.

[Kendall] Dude, you guys are annoying.

I come home with my boys
to obviously talk about some business,

and I hear something,
like, Khloé having a party.

And that's not what my place is for.

[Kourtney] This is the
Yolanda-Twanda move.

What the hell are you all doing right now?

[Khloé] We're having a slumber party.

[Rob] With a bunch of Chinese food
and Ding Dongs and [bleep].

I don't really get
why Rob is overreacting.

[Khloé] I've been where Rob is,

but I think Rob
just kind of has to take control.

I mean, nothing's ever perfect.

Already made yourself at home
with the candy.

[Khloé] Yeah, we did.

She's been here for a week,

-and it's hers now.
-I'll see if my popcorn is ready.

You guys literally look like idiots.

Why?

'Cause you guys are dancing around

while I'm trying to meet with these fools
to talk about some [bleep].

[Rob] Living with Khloé and Lamar,

like, yeah, we stayed up all night
and did whatever we wanted to do.

Ever since I've been living with myself,

I've been, you know,
going to sleep early, waking up early,

focusing the whole day
on my socks and other businesses.

[chuckling]

-Twanda!
-Well, she's Yolanda, and I'm Twanda.

Your guys' names are stupid.

[Rob] The last thing I need
is to be staying up late all night

and just throwing my whole schedule
and routine out of whack.

And I'm starting to realize everything
I didn't want to happen is now happening.

We're trying to have a meeting
regarding all this stuff right now.

-We have to throw shoes on the couch…
-We're having a slumber party.

Well, you all need
to get out of here for real.

-But I live here, though.
-[Rob] For real.

[tense music]

[upbeat music]

-[Spencer] All right, let's go.
-[Kris] Okay.

Pop.

[piano playing]

Sorry. Can we start over?
I was in the middle of a swallow.

I'm not doing it with you.

-[Kris] Okay, I'm just going for it.
-Five, six, seven, eight.

-♪ Come on, babe ♪
-♪ Come on, babe ♪

-♪ We're gonna paint the town ♪
-♪ We're gonna paint the town ♪

♪ And all that jazz ♪

♪ I'm gonna rouge my knees
And roll my stockings down ♪

One!

♪ And all that jazz ♪

It really doesn't matter if Kim
or anyone else wants to laugh at me.

If being on Broadway is my dream,
then it's my dream.

♪ Where the gin is cold
And the piano's hot ♪

♪ It's just a noisy brawl where… ♪

[bleep] "hall".

-What is wrong with my [bleep] mind?
-It's a hall like a dance hall.

-"It's a noisy hall."
-"Noisy hall."

[both] "Where there's a nightly brawl."

It's just like my house.

[Bob] ♪ It's just a noisy hall ♪

[both] ♪ Where there's a nightly brawl ♪

♪ It's just a noisy hall ♪

♪ Where there's a nightly brawl ♪

[Kris] All right, here we go.

♪ I know a nightly brawl
Where there's a nightly hall… ♪

That's gonna be the death of me,
that part.

[Kris] Oh, my god.

But now, I just can't
get it together today.

-I can't do this today.
-Yes, you can.

I know you can.

-♪ Oh, I'm no one's wife, and… ♪
-♪ No, I'm no one's wife, but… ♪

-[both] ♪ Oh, I love my life ♪
-[Kris] No, I'm sorry. Let's start over.

-[Bob] It's "No, I'm no one's wife."
-I know!

It's "No, I'm no… No, I'm no one's wife."

It's the exact same note.

-[Kris] Oh, it is?
-And you get timid.

It's a mental thing.

That's why I said that you always
belt out that, "No, I'm…"

It's the same note.

I think we can take
a little bit of a breath.

I want you to eliminate the timidness.

And if you have any shred of doubt in you
that you are not good enough to do it,

then it's gonna read.

[upbeat music]

-[Dakota] Oh, hi.
-[Kourtney] Hi!

-How's it going?
-[Dakota] Great so far.

-Good.
-[Dakota] Yeah.

Been training a little bit.

Do you have, like, a lot of changes?

I mean, a few, but I think
once everything starts coming along,

then I can do a training
with all of the stores.

Right now, it's not really
where I would want it to be.

-[Kourtney] Okay. Yeah. Okay.
-[Rob] Chuck-O. Chucky.

-Oh, hey, Rob.
-[Kourtney] Oh, hey, Rob.

[Rob] Hey, what's up?

[Khloé] This is Dakota.

-Hi. Good to meet you.
-What's up? Robert.

-Hey, Rob.
-Khloé, you wanna come in the back

-with me for a sec?
-Why?

'Cause I have to tell you something.

Okay, what did you bring me back here for?

[tense music]

Like, how you've been
staying with me and everything.

Like, I don't feel like I have my own…

-[Rob] It's not my own space, and…
-What? You're kicking me out?

Like, I don't feel like I have my own…
It's not my own space, and…

What? You're kicking me out?

-No, I'm not kicking you out.
-But?

The reason why I moved into that place

is just to really focus and get my [bleep]
together, like health, fitness.

Like, those are my… That's my main goal
right now and that's it.

-Okay.
-[Rob] With you in there,

it's kind of, like,
impeding the process for me.

I literally feel like I'm just going back
to being in your house.

I love having you there, and I…

Trust me, I hate living alone.
It's not fun.

But… you're just a distraction.

I sound like you talking to me now,
but I think we should have…

-I get it.
-…some agreement.

But just… I can't impede my health.

[Khloé] I totally get it.

I think it's phenomenal of Rob to want
to be independent and do things his way.

I mean, I guess I just have to go
back home. I got to rip off the bandaid.

I mean, I love living with you.
But I get it, though.

[phone dialing, ringing]

-[Kathie over phone] Hello?
-[Kris] Hey, Kath, it's Kris.

-Hi, darling. How are you?
-I'm okay. I'm okay.

I called, actually,
because I was thinking about you.

I remember taking Kendall and Kylie
to watch their godmother, you,

do Broadway.

Do you remember
when you were Miss Hannigan?

[Kathie] Oh, okay.
Yeah, that was at the Garden.

-Madison Square Garden, right?
-Right.

And so I've really been thinking about
maybe going out for a play.

-Oh, my goodness.
-I know. Don't laugh.

-Because I…
-No, I'm not laughing.

[Kathie] Do you have any idea
what you're getting into?

The amount of discipline you have to have.

You can't even imagine it
unless you've done it.

We did nine shows a week for five weeks.

-Oh, my god.
-I know it. You'd lose your mind.

These are people that do nothing else.

You have to devote yourself
completely to it,

and I don't see you, with everything else
going on in your life,

having the time to do that.

Eight shows a week.

And you're gonna feel like
a monkey in the zoo.

I don't see it working
with your life, sweetie.

Yeah, I agree.

[Kris] I've got so much going on.

Kim just had a baby,
the kids need me more than ever.

[Kris] I cannot give up my entire life
to perform on Broadway.

And although the time
might not be right this very second,

I really want to continue
to practice and rehearse

so that when the time is right,
I'll be ready.

Talking to you has, like,
given me a lot of clarity,

and I really appreciate your advice.

Give everybody my love, sweetheart.

-I will.
-I love you, Kris.

-I love you so much.
-You stay close to God, my friend.

-I will.
-All right, Kris.

-Love you. Bye-bye, doll.
-Thank you. I love you. Bye.

[upbeat music]

I think Lamar's a little scared of me now

because I was very firm
and I went off on him.

[Khloé] And he's also trying to go
to Buffalo, New York,

and I said, "You can't go
until after your court appearance."

-About ten minutes?
-She's ready.

-No, ten minutes.
-Ten minutes.

No, I'm not taking his calls.
I have to sleep. I have work to do.

[Khloé] Okay, we'll talk later.

It's such a fine line
'cause you don't know what to do

and you don't want to feel
like you're not there.

It is hard to hear Khloé
in this state of limbo.

[Kourtney] I think that's just such
a hard place to be in

when you're unsure
of what is gonna happen next.

[Khloé] I am in such a bad mood.

What? What's going on?

[Khloé] Nothing. I don't care.

I just want to go home and go to sleep.

I know.

Well, when you're ready to talk,
I'm all ears.

He ruined my one good day.

-Let's sh**t.
-[photographer] Here we go.

Oh, that's gorg. I love that.
Lean on Khloé like that. So pretty.

[photographer] Gorgeous and sexy.
Oh, my god. Perfect.

I think these are amazing.
Thank you, girls.

[Khloé] Ugh, Lamar's like,
"Can you get Travoris out of my loft?"

And I was like, "No."

The loft, it's done.
We're done with the loft.

We have a loft that we've had downtown
to be close to Staples.

We're leasing it, and, you know,
the lease is coming up.

I've asked Lamar,
"Hey, do you want to extend it?"

He said no. It's out of my hands.

But where is he gonna go?

I don't know. I can't deal with all this.

[Kim] Have you really thought
of selling the house?

[Khloé] I don't know.

[Kim] Khloé just really needs
to cut the umbilical cord

because I feel like she's in such a place
where she just is kind of stuck.

She's at a standstill, and I want her
to, like, find that joy of life again.

Has it, like, been in your thought process

that you might want
to really sell your house?

I don't want to sell my house.
I know I have to.

[Khloé] Lamar's like,
"Can you get Travoris out of my loft?"

No.

I'm selling the loft, it's done.
We're done with the loft.

But where is he gonna go?

I don't know. I can't deal with all this.

Has it, like, been in your thought process

that you might want
to really sell your house?

I don't want to sell my house.
I know I have to.

[Khloé] But I need time to do that,

and I don't have time
to go and look and do all this [bleep].

Yeah, no, I know.

So, magically, how am I gonna get a house?

[Khloé] Now that I won't be living
at Rob's,

my next step, I guess,
is just to go back home

and go back into that environment
and face my house.

I don't know what's happening in my life,
but I guess this would be the first step.

If mine's ever ready, you can move in.

-[Khloé smooches]
-Thanks, boo.

[upbeat music]

Walking into my house for the first time,

it is a weird feeling.

[Khloé] I feel like it's so empty.

Like there's just no life
inside the house.

-Watch my photoshoot, baby.
-That's my hat.

Don't you like how I rock it?

-Take your shirt off. Yeah.
-Oh, yeah, baby. Baby.

[Khloé chuckling]

[Khloé] I wish I could just erase
everything bad that's happened.

But it's not that easy.

[Kim] Next on
Keeping Up with the Kardashians…

You should do a little bonding
in between your teeth.

-Kim has been very critical.
-It just looks like a piece of pepper.

[Khloé] She has an opinion
about everything.

-You have way too much time on your hands.
-[Kim] Me?

[Kendall] Why are you out here?

Kim has been doing her makeup
in my bathroom for about three hours.

Kim has started to take this
a little too far.

All of this is mine.
My sunglasses, all my things.

[Kris] How much longer
are you gonna be here?

-Like, eight months.
-Eight months?

Kanye wants us all in San Fran
for Kim's birthday.

Okay.

That doesn't make you nervous?
You don't, like, wonder what it's for?