15x10 - Let's Play Ball

[bunniefuu]

Keeping
Up with the Kardashians...

KHLOE: What are those gold
things?

KRIS: Those are Jeff Koons.
You need to go to, like, an art

class.
SCOTT: She art-shamed you?

KHLOE: I want to art-shame
her back.

Why don't we just make up
someone that's totally not real?

SCOTT: This is Art, by the
way... Vandelay.

KRIS: Hi. ART: Nice to meet you.

If you'd like an original, I
love to kind of collaborate

with a client.
SCOTT: Being that Art.

Vandelay isn't really an artist,
we have to take that into our

own hands. (Laughs): Oh!

KHLOE: I am actually a
(bleep) good-ass artist.

KRIS: This is so good.
KHLOE: This really is

the ultimate revenge. ♪

KRIS: Hey, everybody. KHLOE: Hi.

KRIS: I have your andMe
results.

KOURTNEY: Wait, what is this?
KRIS: andMe helps you

understand what your pairs
of chromosomes, your DNA, says

about you.
KENDALL: Damn. I am nothing.

I am literally % Northwestern
European.

KOURTNEY: Oh, my God, I'm
Middle Eastern and North.

African.
KENDALL: Oh, my God, you guys

are so fun. KHLOE: What are you?

KENDALL: I'm so boring.
KHLOE: You're % European...

No, you're not. KRIS: I am, too.

KHLOE: That's...
KENDALL: Wow, she has nothing

else.
KOURTNEY: I'm % European.

Oh, my God, I'm British.
I'm . % French.

KRIS: What are you, Khlo-mo?
KHLOE: % Euro, . Middle.

Eastern.
KOURTNEY: You are my sister!

KHLOE: Oh, my God, we are
sisters.

KRIS: Oh, Lordy.
KHLOE: And then I'm %...

KOURTNEY: Thank God.
If you weren't Middle Eastern

at all, we would be in big
trouble.

(laughs)
KHLOE: And I'm one percent.

Native American, East Asian.
KRIS: East Asian? Wait.

KHLOE: (laughing): That's the
problem there.

KOURTNEY: We may have a
situation here.

KENDALL: Yeah, look how much
red Khloe has, and you have

zero.
You only have blue and purple.

KHLOE (laughs): Oh, my God.
(laughs)

♪

(knocking on door)
KRIS: Come in.

JUSTIN: Hey, how are you?
KRIS: Hi.

JUSTIN: Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
KRIS: Hi, Justin.

JUSTIN: Hey! KRIS: I'm busy.

JUSTIN: Are you working away?
What are you doing over here?

KRIS: I'm busy cleaning the
table for my special guest.

JUSTIN: Hey, well, I'm
definitely not that person.

KRIS: Justin Mayo is the
executive director of a

nonprofit organization called
Red Eye.

He was given the keys to the
Watts Community Center, which

is at risk of being shut down.
He wants to keep it open and

make a place for all the kids in
the community to go.

JUSTIN: We've been mentoring
the kids every week for a little

over years in the Watts
housing projects.

The average age of someone there
is , and the largest group

of people living there is the
age group of ten or younger.

So basically, it's kids that are
raising kids out there.

Only . % make it to college,
and over % drop out of high

school.
Police statistics say there's

, g*ng members within two
miles of that specific location.

We got to do something to help
create a safe space.

KRIS: Yeah. ]] JUSTIN: So...

KRIS: Wow.
JUSTIN: I brought a couple

photos of the facility so you
could see the magnitude of what

it's looking like. KRIS: Okay.

JUSTIN: Like, one of their
basketball hoops inside the gym,

it was sh*t out three years...
It's never been replaced.

There's, like, mold growing on
the walls, and, like, I see

mice crawling around. KRIS: Ugh.

JUSTIN: They have a little
kitchen.

The kitchen's falling apart.
And we've got to get them a

better, like, computer lab.
Because I've never one time

seen a kid working on his
schoolwork.

KRIS: Yeah.
JUSTIN: I'm envisioning not

just a community center, but
actually something that's gonna

empower them.
KRIS: So what would you do

with the field outside, if they
had an outdoor play area?

JUSTIN: Yeah.
KRIS: Wouldn't that be good?

JUSTIN: Oh, it'd be incredible.

There's endless possibilities.
These kids are some of the most

incredible genius kids.
We just got to give them an

opportunity.
I mean, these kids have changed

my whole life, they're little
rock stars, and, um...

I'm gonna keep on fighting as
hard as I can to give these kids

something better than they never
had.

KRIS: That's something to be
really, really proud about.

Because... ]] JUSTIN: Yeah.

KRIS: You know, to really do
something that matters.

JUSTIN: Yeah...
KRIS: Oh, now you've got me

going. ]] JUSTIN: No...

(both laugh)
KRIS: I realize this is

really gonna take a lot of hard
work.

So I'm going to reach out to all
of my contacts and raise some

money so we can renovate the
community center inside and out.

Well, we'd love to help you.
I'll talk to the girls...

JUSTIN: That'd be amazing.
KRIS: And get everybody on

board, and we'll make it happen.
JUSTIN: Thank you.

You helping us make this place
happen, it's a game changer.

KRIS: All right, I'm going to
my next... Love you.

JUSTIN: I love you. I know
you got to conquer ,

things, so...
KRIS: Yeah, why not?

(laughs)
The day is just getting started.

♪

Ever since my meeting with
Justin, I've been brainstorming

a way to raise money for the
community center, because it's

got to happen really fast.
KIM: You know, we can do some

kind of sporting event and make
that for charity.

KRIS: Oh, I like that idea.
KIM: And whoever wins, like,

the opposing team has to give,
whatever team wins...

KRIS: They'd make a donation?
KIM: Yeah, make a donation to

whatever charity they want.
KRIS: She's a smart cookie.

PENELOPE: That's my baby.
KOURTNEY: This is the one

with the belly button?
You know, KoKo's biggest fear is

belly buttons.
KHLOE: I mean, it's a doll...

And that's gross, first of all.
Anyway, you guys, what sport can

we do? ]] KIM: Tennis.

KHLOE: Tennis is a contender.
KOURTNEY: I don't know.

KHLOE: Let's do a dodgeball
league!

KOURTNEY: I don't even know
what dodgeball is.

KIM: I don't know what
dodgeball is.

KHLOE: You dodge the ball.
That's all you got to do.

KIM: Is it indoors?
KHLOE: There's no hoop you

got to put it in... it could be
indoors, outdoors, whatever you

want, you're on a field...
KOURTNEY: Isn't there a movie

with Drew Barrymore?
KIM: Kourt, no, it's, like,

with Will Ferrell or something.
KHLOE: Dodgeball. Pick...

There's, like, a field... or
indoor... line down the middle,

we'll take a ball, throw it at
each other, and you got to

dodge the ball.
Not very complicated.

KIM: I know, what about,
like, an arcade league?

Where we play, like, games?
Like, we're gamers?

KHLOE: We could do a soccer
league, a baseball league, a

basketball league...
KOURTNEY: Kim and I played

soccer when we were young.
KHLOE: Soccer's, like, too

much running. ]] KIM: I know!

KHLOE: Oh. Okay. Your turn.

KIM: What if it's a bowling
league?

KIM AND KHLOE: Bowling!
KIM: I hate bowling, so I

can't believe I said that
out loud.

KHLOE: I only like bowling if
I'm drunk.

So far, all of this sucks.
KIM: Oh, my God, I know.

I know what we should do.
KHLOE: What?

American Ninja Warrior.
KHLOE: No, I watched that...

KIM: We're obsessed.
KHLOE: No, it's intense.

There's no way any of us could
do that.

KOURTNEY: I think we should
do softball.

KHLOE: You're telling me that
you could play that many

innings?
KIM: How many innings are

there?
I don't want to play that much.

KHLOE: Seven?
KOURTNEY: You guys, no one

knows that baseball is nine
innings?

KHLOE: I don't know.
Anyway, I'm into softball.

KOURTNEY: I think softball's
the way to go.

KIM: Yeah.
KHLOE: All right, kids.

It seems like... softball
tournament.

KOURTNEY: Why don't we play
Red Rover?

Call it a day?
KHLOE: Or... what's the

tug-of-w*r?
KOURTNEY: Tug-of-w*r.

KHLOE: Okay, yeah. (Laughs)

♪

JEANNE: These are actually
really good.

KHLOE: When you frame it,
they look more legit.

JEANNE: Mm-hmm.
KHLOE: My mom's coming over

today, and she doesn't know I
made them.

ALEXA: Right.
KHLOE: Scott, what is the

story behind these?
SCOTT: Behind the Art.

Vandelays?
KHLOE: Yeah. (Chuckles)

SCOTT: Sweat, blood and tears.

(laughter)
KHLOE: No, but, like, how

much, like, if she's like, "What
did you buy them for?"

SCOTT: Well...
We've got to think about the

time that we spent on them.
Obviously, the larger piece,

we spent eight minutes on...
(Khloe chuckles)

That, we spent six.
I would say you paid for the

package. ALEXA: You got a deal.

JEANNE: Yeah. SCOTT: A steal.

KHLOE: A steal. (Laughter)

SCOTT: I mean, who could get
Art Vandelays for that?

I don't know anybody.
JEANNE: What if she googles.

Art Vandelay?
KHLOE: It will come up that

character.
SCOTT (laughs): Right!

KHLOE: So it will just be
confusing.

She'll be more like, "Huh,
okay."

JEANNE: He must be real
impressive.

KHLOE: He's really famous.
SCOTT: Yeah. You know, Kris's

assistant Matthew called me and
goes, "Can I have all the"

contact information and how much
they're worth, because Kris

wants to insure them."
But I told Matthew, I go,

"Please hold off, this is not
what you think it is."

KHLOE: But is he going to
tell on us?

SCOTT: No, he's, he's in on it.

I did tell Matthew to lie, but
then Matthew was also like,

"Uh, have you seen who I
work for?"

KHLOE: Right. And he's so...

SCOTT: "I don't want to end
up in a casket."

KHLOE: Afraid of her. KRIS: Hi.

SCOTT: What's happening?
KRIS: I didn't know you

were here.
SCOTT: Oh, my goodness

gracious. KRIS: This is amazing.

How are you? ]] SCOTT: Good.

KRIS: You look cute.
KHLOE: Mom, you look cute.

SCOTT: How's it going?
KRIS: It's going.

SCOTT: Good.
KRIS: Yeah, I just spent a

couple hours...
Ooh, what is this?

Those paintings.
KHLOE: I know, I need to fi...

We were just talking about where
to put them. I don't know.

KRIS: Wait, did your friend
make those?

SCOTT: Yeah, that guy, Art
Vandelay.

KHLOE: I don't know if that's
your "friend."

SCOTT: Not really my friend.
It's an artist that I know.

KHLOE: I bought these, though.

KRIS: Do you want to walk
around the house and see where

they go? ]] KHLOE: Yeah.

KRIS: They're gorgeous.
KHLOE: Here, I'll hold this.

KRIS: Excuse me, excuse me,
excuse me.

What about...
KHLOE: Right there?

KRIS: I'm just playing.
SCOTT: Hmm.

KRIS: What do we think? Wow.

SCOTT: Something to think about.

KHLOE: Okay, so we definitely
have to tell Kris about the

prank soon, because she's, she's
trying to get them appraised.

This isn't gonna go well.
SCOTT: I know.

We do have to break it
to her that we're completely

lying, art-shaming her...
KHLOE: Oh.

SCOTT: And basically
giving her fraudulent paintings.

(Khloe laughs)
KRIS: We could put the other

one right there instead of that
girl.

Ryan Seacrest would call those
placeholders.

KHLOE: I know they look good.
KRIS: Oh.

KHLOE: She just art-shamed me
again.

SCOTT: Wow, and she brought
Ryan in the mix.

KHLOE (laughs): She said Ryan
would feel the same way.

We really just got to figure out
when to break the news to her.

SCOTT: Hopefully, she won't
be actually mad at us for this.

KHLOE: I have no idea how
Kris is going to react, but I'm

excited to see her expression.
SCOTT: Whatever happens,

it's gonna be interesting.

KIM: This is where you
hit, right?

KHLOE: No. You hit over there.

KIM: Oh.
KHLOE: The first softball

practice is terrifying. (Grunts)

KRIS: Oh! (Laughter)

I've recruited a few more
people to round out this squad.

Hey, everybody! Alex Rodriguez!

(cheering, applause)
SCOTT: You want to come with

me and Khlo tomorrow to lunch,
with that guy, Art?

KRIS: Yeah, I need a really
big piece of art.

SCOTT: You want to come?
KRIS: Sure.

♪
REIGN: Look, KoKo.

This is my dog.
KHLOE: Oh, hi, honey.

REIGN: He's a bad dog.
KHLOE: Why?

REIGN: He almost jumped outside.

KHLOE: No, he didn't, the
door is shut, you crazy boy.

REIGN: You crazy little bear.
KHLOE: You crazy little bear.

KOURTNEY: Little bear?
Where'd you get that?

KHLOE: Oh! ]] REIGN: Ah!

KOURTNEY: Oh, yeah.
Should we call TJ?

KIM: Yeah. (Line ringing)

TJ (over phone): Hello?
KOURTNEY: Hi, it's Kourtney.

TJ: What is up, Kourtney?
How are you?

KOURTNEY: What's up?
I'm sitting here

with Kim and Khloe.
We were thinking of doing a

league...
KHLOE: No, not a league.

KOURTNEY: No, not a league.
KHLOE: A one-time thing.

KOURTNEY: A one-time game.
KIM: A baseball game.

KOURTNEY: Like, a, like, a
baseball game.

And we were thinking what if,
maybe we did, like, Jacksons

versus Kardashians?
TJ: I love it.

KOURTNEY: Tito Jackson is a
member of the Jackson Five.

We grew up with his three boys.
They've pretty much been in our

lives since preschool.
And they've always played

baseball, so, I thought, there's
no one better to do it with.

KOURTNEY: Okay, will you talk
to everyone and see if anyone's

into it?
TJ: Yeah, I'll start with my

bros. We are pretty good.

It'll be fun.
KOURTNEY: Okay, cool.

TJ: I love you guys.
KOURTNEY: Okay, love you.

KHLOE: Love you, Teej.
KOURTNEY: Okay, bye.

KIM: Love you, too.
KOURTNEY: Love you.

Oh, my God, I love you so much.
(laughs)

KOURTNEY: Okay, so,
we have five.

KIM: Who? ]] KOURTNEY: Me...

KIM: Mm-hmm.
KOURTNEY: You, Kendall,

Khloe, Mom.
KIM: Khloe can't play.

KOURTNEY: Okay, so four.
KHLOE: I could, like, catch

balls in the field or something.
Right?

KIM: No.
KHLOE: I'll just pass out

water and towels.
But if I was playing, we might

have a better chance.
KOURTNEY: I think I'm a

really good baseball player.
I'm not gonna lie.

KHLOE: You haven't even done
it yet.

KOURTNEY: No, I think I'm
really good.

If my memory serves me right.
KHLOE (low voice): I took

years in pottery, I did this, I
did that.

(Kourtney laughs) I'm a sailor.

You know what you're doing.
KOURTNEY: I've sailed the

ocean blue.
Just like Columbus, Khloe.

In . (Laughs): .

(soft laughter) ♪

KHLOE: This is so confined.
Are baseball players short?

Holy cow.
KIM: Who else is practicing

with us? ]] KHLOE: Kourtney.

KIM: But do we have a teacher?

KHLOE: I'm the teacher.
KIM: Is this the mound?

KHLOE: No.
The mound is there, that would

be the pitcher's mound.
KIM: But this is where you

hit, right? ]] KHLOE: No.

You hit over there.
KIM: Oh, this is first base.

KHLOE: That's first base.
That's where the pitcher's mound

is. KIM: I'm not wearing a bra,

so I can't run that fast.
KHLOE: This is the pitcher's

mound. ]] KRIS: Oh.

KIM: All right, get on the
mound.

KHLOE: I'm getting out of here.

KIM: I got this, I got this.
KRIS: All right, here you go.

KIM: (bleep) Strike one.

(laughs) (bleep)

KHLOE: Mom, go closer.
KRIS (laughs): Sorry, Kim.

KHLOE: Go closer, Mom, just
for practice.

KRIS: I know what I'm doing.
KHLOE: Okay.

KRIS: Oh.
KHLOE: If it's not in this

zone, it's called a ball.
You don't get a penalty for

that. ]] KIM: Okay.

(yelps)
KHLOE: That would have been a

ball, it's too low. ]] KIM: Oh.

KHLOE: Jesus.
The first softball practice

is... terrifying. ]] KRIS: Oh!

KHLOE: Run, run, run!
Mom has to get it!

She's over here, you moron.
(laughter)

KRIS: Oh, my God, I just peed
myself.

KHLOE: It's, like, just...
chickens with their head cut

off, running around this field.
It's not good.

KIM: All right, you ready?
(grunts)

KRIS: Oh!
(Kim and Kris laughing)

KHLOE: Mom, are you kidding?
KIM: Oh, my God, are you

okay? ]] KRIS: No.

KIM: Oh, my God, did you hurt
your wrist?

KRIS: I did. KIM: Oh, my God.

How did you fall?
Mom, please don't break your

wrist. This is definitely very

underwhelming.
There's not a lot of skill here.

KHLOE: So, were you aiming
for Mom's head?

KIM: No. ]] KHLOE: Oh.

(grunts) ]] KRIS: Oh!

(Kim laughing)
KHLOE: Mom, are you kidding?

KIM: I'm not evil.
KHLOE: And the dramatic fall?

KIM: She was just so dramatic.

I don't think you should play,
Mom.

KRIS: Like, I'll try.
KHLOE: We can't lose another

player.
You guys barely have a team.

KOURTNEY: The MVP is here!
KIM: You gotta play.

KOURTNEY: See that?
KHLOE: I think your

camel toe looks...
KOURTNEY: See that?

KHLOE: Really lovely.
Okay, get your bat.

KOURTNEY: Don't talk about my
camel toe just 'cause you're

mad. (Whooping)

KHLOE: Go, go, go!
Run, Kourtney! Keep going!

KOURTNEY: I hit a home run!
KHLOE: Mom, you can't get

another ball.
KIM: I made it. I'm safe.

KHLOE: You can't pick up a
random ball.

KRIS: Okay. (Kourtney whoops)

KOURTNEY: Most valuable player!

I'm definitely the best player
of the family.

KHLOE: Well, there's three
people here.

KOURTNEY: I know.
KHLOE: It's you, Mom and Kim.

KOURTNEY: I'm the best.
(Khloe laughs)

(sighing)
KHLOE: So, you guys were in

charge of getting the group of
people here.

KOURTNEY: Okay, I asked Harry.

KHLOE: You asked today?
KOURTNEY: Yes, he's

considering it.
KHLOE: Right, but that's

not... that's not planning.
KOURTNEY: Who else?

KHLOE: You guys are just
super unorganized.

These guys don't know
how to play, and we're supposed

to be practicing, and
no one's even here to practice.

We are so screwed.
Just so you know, Kourt.

We're gonna get annihilated.
That's for sure.

We're (bleep) screwed.

SCOTT: Do you remember a
while back when you shamed Khloe

for not knowing art?
KRIS: I was excited to have

knowledge.
SCOTT: Today we tell Kris

this is a scam.
KHLOE: I just really hope my

mom doesn't throw us over this
balcony.

TJ: A-Rod?
ALEX: All right, all right.

KRIS: All right, so Alex is
here to give us a little

motivation.
ALEX: I want you to focus on

two things, 'cause we need to
win this game.

The Jacksons have to go down.
KRIS: Take that, Jacksons!

Yeah! (Laughs)

♪

SCOTT: Those are really
fancy, those necklaces.

KRIS: Thank you. KIM: I know.

I really like them.
SCOTT: Do you not really wear

jewelry, still? ]] KIM: No.

SCOTT: Do you not even really
wear handbags?

KIM: No. KRIS: She doesn't wear

handbags, she doesn't wear
jewelry.

She barely wears clothes.
KIM (chuckles): Yeah.

KRIS: Do you think you'll
ever shave again?

SCOTT: Mm-mm.
KRIS: So, do you think that

the last time you had a clean-
shaven face when we were

together with you, that was the
last time we'll ever see Scott.

Disick, the Lord, Lord Disick?
SCOTT: Yeah. I don't know,

but Mason told me he doesn't
like...

I show him pictures of it
shaved, and he's like, "No!"

I can't look at you, Dad, I
can't!"

KRIS: What? ]] SCOTT: Mm-hmm.

KIM: Yeah, sometimes when you
have something so stuck in your

mind in what you're used to...
SCOTT: And Penelope wants me

to grow it long.
Like a Santa Claus.

KRIS: Of course she does.
SCOTT: I just want to look

like a bum.
And then hop out of, like, a.

Lamborghini.
Really throw people off.

KRIS: That's your goal in life?

SCOTT: Pretty much.
KRIS: Those are good

aspirations.
SCOTT: By the way, do you

want to come with me and Khlo
tomorrow to lunch? At Nobu?

With that guy Art?
Weren't you, like, telling me

you were, like, dying to meet
the guy?

KIM: Yeah. I'm just trying to
think of what I'm doing

tomorrow.
SCOTT: We're gonna go at,

like, : , I think.
KIM: I'll have to check my

schedule.
KRIS: I need a really big

piece of art for my dining room.
SCOTT: You want to come?

KRIS: Sure.
SCOTT: Cool. We would love to

have you there. KRIS: Thank you.

KHLOE: Who doesn't love Nobu?
Daytime drinking is always a

plus, so we're all gonna go to
lunch and... tell her.

SCOTT: We just need to have
them start talking, and then be

like, "By the way..."
KHLOE: "This is not a

"real..." ]] SCOTT: Right.

KHLOE: "artist."
SCOTT: It's always kind of

rough when a prank comes to an
end.

KHLOE: I'm gonna miss
painting, our late nights.

SCOTT: Well, that doesn't
have to end.

KHLOE: Oh, okay.
SCOTT: Kind of freaks me out

all the time we put into stuff
like this.

KHLOE: I... (laughing)

KIM: I had the craziest dream
last night.

I've been having crazy dreams
about North.

SCOTT: Me, too.
Oh, not about North, but...

KIM: One was that she was
missing, and that you guys...

KRIS: Oh., ,
KIM: And Kylie, everyone

was just swimming in the pool,
and I cussed you guys all out,

'cause she was, like, legit
missing.

And then I found her in our
front yard, her and Penelope,

with a homeless man, and he had
given them alcohol and they all

were passed out.
SCOTT (laughs): Oh, my God,

that's weird. ]] KIM: I know.

It's traumatizing. (Laughter)

♪

KRIS: Hey, babe.
COREY: What's up?

KHLOE: You look so cute.
KRIS: He's my secret w*apon.

This is our secret w*apon.
KOURTNEY: No. You know I'm

the best player on this team.
KRIS: Oh, my God.

COREY: I won't choke.
KHLOE: We are at our second

practice, and now my mom is
sitting this one out, because

her wrist hurts from her
dramatic fall.

Nice to meet you.
LISA: Nice to meet you.

KHLOE: Thank you for coming
here.

LISA: Oh, yeah, I'm excited.
KHLOE: Oh, my gosh.

LISA: Are you gonna...?
You're not?

KHLOE: No, I'm not playing.
Fortunately, a friend of mine

connected me with Lisa.
Lisa's a coach of the women's

team at UCLA.
She was also in the Olympics for

softball.
If I can't play, at least I'm

gonna come in with g*ns blazing
for everybody else.

You guys, this is Lisa.
She is gonna kind of help steer

the ship a little bit, 'cause
you guys are a (bleep) mess.

(laughter)
KOURTNEY: Kendall, are you

here to look cute, or are you
here to play?

KENDALL: I went to go pee.
I'm late. I'm sorry. Mom.

KOURTNEY: What is athletic
about you?

KENDALL: I'm literally built
as an athlete.

Every blood test I've ever done
has said that I am, like, over

the normal limit of
athleticness.

KOURTNEY: Yeah.
LISA: All right, let's do it.

Let the ball come to you.
KENDALL: Damn it!

KOURTNEY: Let's see how far I
can throw.

KIM: Okay.
Holy (bleep), we're (bleep).

KOURTNEY: That was good, right?

LISA: Keep your eye on the
ball, keep your eye on the ball.

KENDALL: It is on the (bleep)
ball.

♪
(groans)

LISA: Point your glove at
your target.

KOURTNEY: Okay.
LISA: And then pull down.

KOURTNEY: Okay.
KHLOE: Lisa has... (sighs)

so much patience.
'Cause everyone is just a mess.

No one knows what they're
doing, no one's listening.

They're just all running around.
This is gonna be tough.

LISA: You guys ready for some
ground balls to be hit to you?

KOURTNEY: Yeah. LISA: All right.

Larsa, you're going two!
KIM: Go, Larsa!

LISA: You guys, we got to
pick up the pace.

Kendall, going one!
KENDALL: Yes!

KHLOE: Oh, this coach is great.

MAN: Come on, Kourt, hit it!
LISA: There you go.

Go, Kourt, Go!
KHLOE: Go, Kourtney!

(whoops)
I may have spoken too soon,

because now I'm seeing everybody
practicing, they're hitting

some balls, going to the
outfield.

Seems like we might...
stand a chance

at winning.
LISA: Oh, Kourt, that might

be far!
Don't run into the fence!

(cheering, whooping)
KIM: We're gonna win this.

♪

KRIS: This is so nice.
Oh. Can you pull my pant down?

SCOTT: I might get a virgin
daiquiri.

Your pant down... Up?
KRIS: Yeah. Down.

I know you don't get that very
often, but...

SCOTT: (laughs) Yeah.
No one's asking me to pull their

pants down. ]] RICHARDSON: Hi.

Good to see you.
SCOTT: Good to see you.

You remember Art. KRIS: Hi, Art.

RICHARDSON: How are you?
KRIS: How are you?

Nice to see you.
RICHARDSON: Great seeing you.

KRIS: Great to see you, too.
I love your shirt.

RICHARDSON: I love your... coat.

SCOTT: So, today, we tell
Kris that this is a scam and

that we've kind of been making a
fool out of her for the past

couple months.
KRIS: Thank you so much for

my paintings. SCOTT: Oh, right.

RICHARDSON: It is my pleasure.

KRIS: You know what?
I was so excited, I was doing a

happy dance, jumping up and
down.

RICHARDSON: Aw.
KHLOE: Wow, Mom, you look

like a cute polar bear.
KRIS: Hi. Mwah.

SCOTT: By the way, polar
bears are going extinct.

KHLOE: Hi. How are you?
KRIS: This is Khloe.

KHLOE: Nice to see you again.
I met him at the...

RICHARDSON: Oh, we met at the
gallery.

KHLOE: Art gallery.
KRIS: I forgot.

KHLOE: I don't forget a face.
KRIS: Our new best friend.

KHLOE: Thank you.
RICHARDSON: You're welcome.

KRIS: Anyway, so, I got them.
They were my favorite colors.

Like, the palette's so
beautiful.

RICHARDSON: I mean, Scott
told me, you know, how you love

a deep red, and, you know...
KRIS: Love.

RICHARDSON: Good, good.
They were very fun pieces to do.

SCOTT: How long did those
pieces take?

RICHARDSON: Not long.
KRIS: Wait, what is this ring

you have on? Is that one ring?
KHLOE: Yeah.

KRIS: It is so good.
RICHARDSON: They look great

on you.
KHLOE: Who doesn't look good

in diamonds?
RICHARDSON: I guess that's

true.
I don't look as good as you do,

but, you know...
KHLOE: Well, you know what,

and I don't paint as good as you
do.

RICHARDSON: Oh, well, thank you.

(laughter)
KRIS: We all have our gifts.

(laughter)
KHLOE: Watching Kris interact

with Art is just a dream come
true, because she's so invested

in him. She loves him.

It's the whole schmoozing fest
that she does.

Scott and I are literally
kicking each other under the

table. ]] KRIS: Oh, my God. Yes.

KHLOE: All good things must
come to an end, Mr. Vandelay.

I just really hope my mom
doesn't throw us over this

balcony.
KRIS: I'll take the salmon.

SCOTT: You know how to pick
just the right piece, don't you?

KRIS: Just the right one.
SCOTT: It's almost like when

she saw your art, she knew
exactly...

KRIS: The right piece.
SCOTT: That it made sense.

RICHARDSON: Thank you.
SCOTT: Now, let me ask you a

question. ]] KRIS: Mm-hmm?

SCOTT: Do you remember a
while back when you shamed Khloe

for not knowing art...
KRIS: Yeah.

SCOTT: And making her feel
so insecure about herself?

KRIS: I was excited to have
knowledge.

SCOTT: Long story short, when
you were shaming her, we were

deciding how to shame you.
And Art Vandelay's name is d*ck.

(Khloe and Richardson laughing)
And that art that you love so

much... ]] KRIS: No!

SCOTT: Khloe and I made
in her garage.

KRIS: What?

I brought my secret w*apon.
I still have one little trick up

my sleeve. ]] TJ: No!

JUSTIN: There's been so many
people that have said nice

things, but you guys actually
have created results.

You guys are the real deal.
LAVELL: You guys are here,

you know what I mean?
We're very grateful.

Thank you.

SCOTT: Do you remember a
while back when you shamed Khloe

for not knowing art...
KRIS: Yeah.

SCOTT: And making her feel
so insecure about herself?

KRIS: I was excited to have
knowledge.

KHLOE: Mm.
SCOTT: Long story short, when

you were shaming her, we were
deciding how to shame you.

And Art Vandelay's name is d*ck.
(Khloe and Richardson laughing)

And that art that you love so
much...

KRIS: No!
SCOTT: Khloe and I made

in her garage. ]] KRIS: No!

KHLOE: "Khloe and I."
was an art director.

KRIS (laughs): You made the art?

RICHARDSON: They made it.
I have never painted a thing in

my entire life.
KRIS: You piece of (bleep).

RICHARDSON: I've never...
I know virtually nothing about

art. Yeah. I don't... It's true.

KRIS: What?
You guys are such pieces of

(bleep)!
SCOTT: (laughs) "Oh, my God!"

You had me! Ah!"

(Khloe laughing)
It's like watching, you know,

one of those, like, bad daytime
dramas.

Episodes? SCOTT: No, it wasn't.

(Khloe mimics rimshot)
SCOTT: Pow!

KRIS: Kim even said to me
Kanye's interested in your art.

SCOTT: Oh, yeah, she was in
on it.

RICHARDSON: If Kanye would
love to buy art from me, I'll

start making some.
SCOTT: By the way, Matthew

was in on it, too. KRIS: What?

No wonder my designers made me
put it in MJ's room.

KHLOE: Chrissy was in on it.
KRIS: Stop.

SCOTT: Everybody knows.
KRIS: Stop it.

SCOTT: You just got shamed.
(Richardson laughs)

KRIS: You guys, I can't even
be mad, because this is so good.

Like, I would... I would be proud
of myself if I could pull this

off. Yay, Khloe and Scott.

RICHARDSON: Well done.
SCOTT: And Art.

KRIS: You had me this time.
This one, I didn't see this

coming.
And that's what makes me so mad,

is that I know it's gonna happen
again.

SCOTT: It sure is.
KRIS: I don't even know if

I'm being pranked right now.
Like, is Art Vandelay really

real?
And you're, like, trying to

reverse psychology?
RICHARDSON: Cheers to you.

KRIS: Yeah.
RICHARDSON: Aw, cheers to

you. ]] SCOTT: L'chaim.

KHLOE: L'chaim.
SCOTT: Like they say in the

old country. (Khloe yipping)

KHLOE: Like they say in Armenia.

SCOTT: (laughs) I think
that's Mexico.

KRIS: Scott... KHLOE: Whatever.

♪

KRIS: What's going on here,
guys?

JUSTIN: Yeah, we're just
gonna have fun.

Show you a little bit of what
we've been up to.

KRIS: Yes.
JUSTIN: Corey, this is my

friend Noah.
NOAH: What's up, man? Noah.

KRIS: Hi. How are you?
I'm so excited.

JUSTIN: We've never had a
basketball court outdoor in this

area of Watts.
KRIS: I'm so impressed.

JUSTIN: Yeah.
KRIS: This is so fantastic.

JUSTIN: Years and years ago,
uh, they had some stuff over

here, but we were like, "Let's
put it on the backside."

So, with drive-bys and so forth
at nighttime, that they're

protected by the building, it's
not a target, and it's like...

But let's do it actually proper.
So it's, honestly, a full

basketball court. ]] KRIS: Stop.

TAUNA: They're doing, um, the
rebar up and everything that

goes down and then the cement.
And then we'll come in and paint

lines and put the hoops up.
They've been working around the

clock, so... ]] KRIS: Amazing.

I've reached out to a few
companies, asking for help with

the kitchen renovation and the
gym renovation, the basketball

court.
A lot of people have already

chipped in and donated.
TAUNA: For Adidas, our belief

is that, through sport, we have
the power to change lives.

And we feel like creating safe
places to play for kids is

life-changing.
KRIS: Adidas has been

amazing, because they've agreed
to do the entire outdoor play

area.
And other companies are doing

the inside. I'm so impressed.

JUSTIN: Yeah.
KRIS: Getting the concrete

poured for the future basketball
court is my dream come true for

them. Who owns these buildings?

JUSTIN: It's government
subsidized housing, so it's the.

Housing Authority of Los
Angeles.

Uh, so, yeah, it's, like, the
second largest in all of.

America. New York and then here.

KRIS: I'm really excited
about all the progress that's

being made, and I'm so
optimistic that this is going to

make the community a better
place.

Hi. ]] BRUNO: How are you?

I'm Bruno Marchesi.
KRIS: Kris. Nice to see you.

BRUNO: Very nice to meet you.
KRIS: Thank you so much for

being a part of this.
BRUNO: No, thank you.

KRIS: It's so amazing.
BRUNO: It's about giving kids

safe places to play...
KRIS: Right?

BRUNO: And the opportunity
to be successful.

That's what it's about.

JUSTIN: Kids, they honestly
think they're born and are gonna

die here.
We had one person, uh, that was

sh*t and k*lled, uh, one block
away, uh, two weeks ago.

And then, last week, uh, maybe
blocks away, there was two

people sh*t and k*lled and six,
uh... no, six sh*t and two

k*lled.
SISTA: Some of our kids in

our community, either their
father in prison or deceased.

I lost two kids in days.
KRIS: Oh, my God.

SISTA: That's how I met Justin.

This is a dream.
Whatever we wanted, you did it.

And I just want to say thank you
for everything and working hard

with Yang and his staff and
with Red Eye.

KRIS: We're so proud to be a
part of this, so thank you for

allowing us to be a part of your
family.

All the things that are
happening are going to be really

terrific for the kids.
The ability to come someplace

and have a really safe
environment with really loving

people can make a big difference
in a community that's otherwise

going to be left behind.
KRIS: See you.

(Kris laughs)
KHLOE: The opposing team is

here. ]] KOURTNEY: Hey, Papa T.

TITO: Hey, babe.
KOURTNEY: How are you?

TITO: All right, sweetheart.
How are you?

KOURTNEY: Good. So good to
see you.

KHLOE: Hello.
KRIS: Hey, everybody, listen

up. Alex Rodriguez.

KIM: My mom really pulled it
together.

I think we have a real sh*t
here.

(screams)
CROWD: Three, two, one!

(all cheer)
KRIS: I can't wait to see all

the hard work that was put into
the center.

JUSTIN: They wouldn't even
let me see in here 'cause they

wanted me to be surprised.
What the...? Whoa!

KRIS: Oh, my God.

KHLOE: It's game time, kids.
KRIS: Let's play ball.

KHLOE: Hey, you guys.
COREY: Fired up today.

KHLOE: We came up with the
name Calabasas Peaches because,

A League of Their Own.
The opposing team is here.

(Jonathan laughs)
Hi, how are you?

TITO: You know Andrew.
KHLOE: How are you?

ANDREW: Oh, you look good.
KHLOE: Oh, thank you.

I'm not playing, but...
ANDREW: Look at you.

KHLOE: I'm here for support.
KOURTNEY: Hey, Papa T.

TITO: Hey, babe.
KOURTNEY: How are you?

TITO: All right, sweetheart.
How are you?

KOURTNEY: Good. So good to
see you.

KHLOE: Hello. How are you?
TITO: I'm okay.

KOURTNEY: Mom, are you
playing, or are you...?

KRIS: No. I brought my secret
w*apon.

He's gonna be pulling up in
about five minutes.

We still don't have a full team,
even after the second practice.

So I've recruited a few more
people to round out this squad.

But I still have one little
trick up my sleeve.

On the field, guys.
Right now, please.

And just stay there until you
hear from me later.

JONATHAN: What is she so
excited about?

LISA: We're waiting for someone.

KRIS: Where is he? Is he coming?

JONATHAN: What's the surprise?

KRIS: My ace in the hole. Yay.

Thank you, God. Oh, my God.

ALEX: What's up, baby?
KRIS: I'm so happy to see

you. ALEX: How are you, honey?

Good to see you.
KRIS: Thank you.

I know you're busy.
ALEX: No worries.

KRIS: And you're trying to
run your empire from the road,

but I am...
ALEX: You look great.

KRIS: Thank you.
ALEX: I love the uni. Yeah.

KRIS: Look. ALEX: Looking sharp.

Looking sharp.
KRIS: Professional shoes.

JONATHAN: What?
KRIS: Hey, everybody.

Listen up. Alex Rodriguez.

A-Rod is here to be our coach.
TJ: A-Rod? No!

KRIS: Take that, Jacksons.
Yeah. He is here to help coach

the girls today and bring in the
win for the Calabasas Peaches.

Bam!
All right, so, Alex is here to

give us a little motivation,
inspiration.

He's the most amazing
motivational speaker.

ALEX: Wow.
KRIS: He does this all over

the world.
ALEX: I want you to focus on

two things, 'cause we need to
win this game.

The Jacksons have to go down,
okay?

KRIS: That's right, yeah!
(all cheering)

ALEX: So, two things.
Number one thing I want you to

focus on... very simple... look at
the baseball and do not stop

looking at the baseball.
Now, number two: I created this

bat to hit home runs.
All you have to do is tap, tap,

tap, tap. (Imitates expl*si*n)

And the ball will explode.
LISA: Got it. Got it.

ALEX: See the ball and tap.
KHLOE: And have a little bit

of fun.
ALEX: And have a little bit

of fun.
KIM: Having Alex Rodriguez

here is so major.
My mom really pulled it

together.
I think we have a real sh*t

here.
ALEX: Dear God, help us all

play like New York Yankees.
(all laughing, cheering)

KRIS: Yeah! (Whoops)

JONATHAN: Good morning,
Calabasas, and welcome to the.

Southern California Baseball
Academy Field.

It's the perfect weather for
today's family game between two

equally fire teams: The
Calabasas Peaches and Tito's.

Team. (All cheering)

Guys, let's play some softball.
First at bat, TJ.

KHLOE: Wait, so we're in
the field first?

I thought we just sit.
I was gonna go eat.

(all laugh) ]] LARSA: You suck!

TJ: Yeah! (Kim screams)

KHLOE: Nice.
JONATHAN: Batting second,

Royal. Hit something hard.

Oh, my God. ]] FRANCES: Yes!

(Kim screams)
JONATHAN: Nice scream, Kim.

Number , Dee Dee.
ANDREW: Let's go, Dee Dee!

Ah! What?
TJ: Come on, Dee Dee, come

on, you're running.
You got it, you got it.

(all shouting)
KHLOE: Oh, I'm clapping for

the wrong team. JONATHAN: Yeah.

Number , Louis up at bat.
KRIS: Oh, we're screwed.

JONATHAN: Home run! (All cheer)

KIM: Well, this is a complete
bust.

JONATHAN: First up, Kim
Kardashian West, hot fire.

KIM: Oh, wait.
JONATHAN: Tying her shoe,

throwing off my whole vibe.
(Khloe laughs)

KRIS: Come on, Kim!
JONATHAN: Let's go, Kim.

Everybody's watching, literally.
KIM: Shut up.

TJ: Strike her out.
FRANCES: Swing, batter,

batter. (Kim screams)

(all laugh)
JONATHAN: Larsa's up.

That's a strike. KIM: Ooh! Damn!

JONATHAN: Strike three,
you're out.

(Kourtney screams)
KOURTNEY: What does that

mean? JONATHAN: Come on, Corey.

KRIS: Oh, oh, (bleep).
JONATHAN: Anthony Schiller,

number five.
TITO: Come on, strike this

guy out. KRIS: Come on, Anthony!

JONATHAN: Three outs.
KOURTNEY: Wait, what

happened? We're out?

KIM: We should just literally
hand over the check now and quit

'cause we suck.
KHLOE: They're (bleep)

k*lling us.
JONATHAN: Top of the second.

TITO: Let's bust it wide open.

JONATHAN: TJ, you're back up.
(TJ whoops)

All right, TJ, go for it right
here.

ANDREW: Let's go, T!
TARYLL: Come on, T. No!

JONATHAN: And safe!
ANDREW: Attaboy, T.

JONATHAN: This is fun.
KHLOE: You're good at this.

Should we just come here on
Sundays?

JONATHAN: And just do this.
TJ: Let's go, Pop.

JONATHAN: Uh-oh.
Tito, number five.

Let's do this! TARYLL: Papa T!

(Kourtney screams)
LARSA: Kourtney!

KHLOE: Good hit.
Oh, why do I care?

TARYLL: Let's go, guys.
JONATHAN: Tito's Team now has.

TJ on second, and Tito's on
first.

Number ten, Royal. Home run!

KRIS: Oh... (all cheer)

JONATHAN: Tito's Team is now
up seven to nothing.

KENDALL: I hate losing.
JONATHAN: Don't get too

comfortable out there.
It's time for the second inning

stretch.
TITO: Going to make some

jelly out those Peaches.
(TJ laughs)

TJ: Some jelly out those
Peaches?

TITO: Yep. Peach jelly.
That's what we're gonna have

today. ♪

(Jonathan slurps)
KRIS: Like, I don't know

what's happening.

(Jonathan coughing)
JONATHAN: The Peaches are

back up to bat.
ALEX: Let's go, team.

Get back on it.
We need runs, runs, runs, runs.

JONATHAN: Number zero,
longest legs in the game,

Kendall is up. Let's go!

KHLOE: Kendall "Daddy
Longleg" Jenner.

(Kendall laughs)
KHLOE: Go, Kendall!

JONATHAN: Kendall is safe!
Corey Gamble up next, number

... secret w*apon.
KRIS: Yeah, Corey!

KHLOE: Go, Corey!
(cheering, applause)

JONATHAN: Paparazzi down!
(whooping)

(Kourtney whoops)
KOURTNEY: We're making a

comeback. ]] KHLOE: Yeah!

(whooping)
JONATHAN: God bless you!

KOURTNEY: All we need is two
runs to tie the game up.

MAN: Safe! JONATHAN: Yeah, safe!

LARSA: Yes, yes! Go, Kourt!
KENDALL: You got this, Kourt!

KRIS: Let's go, Kourtney!
REIGN: You can do it, Mom!

KHLOE: Go, Kourt!
JONATHAN: Kendall's out,

Kourtney's safe.
That's two out for the Peaches.

They need something good here
for their next batter.

COREY: Kim, do you want to hit?

KIM: Yeah. ]] COREY: Come on.

KRIS: Come on, Kim!
JONATHAN: Come on, Kim!

You got to redeem yourself for
Family Feud.

(cheering)

JONATHAN: This game is neck
and neck.

They need something good here
for their next batter.

COREY: Kim, do you want to hit?

KIM: Yeah. ]] COREY: Come on.

KRIS: Come on, Kim!
JONATHAN: Come on, Kim!

You got to redeem yourself for
Family Feud.

(cheering) ]] MAN: Come on!

KOURTNEY: Oh, damn.
JONATHAN: There you have it.

Tito's Team wins.
The Peaches are the losers.

LISA: Rematch.
CHAD: That was great.

COREY: Yeah.
KIM: Rematch, next weekend.

KHLOE: Damn, damn, damn.
KIM: You know what?

I'm really proud of ourselves
for just coming this far, 'cause

we've never done this before.
I...

KHLOE: But we're all winners.
KIM: Yeah, I mean...

KHLOE: 'Cause it's for charity.

KIM: Yeah, totally.
KHLOE: And I got a hot dog on

a stick, so I feel like I won
no matter what.

KIM: Yes, you did. Yes, you did.

ALEX: Hey, congratulations to
the Dee Dee Jackson Foundation.

$ , for this great victory
here today.

Tremendous.
KIM: Even though we didn't

win, we will still take the same
amount of money and donate it to

the Watts Center.
KRIS: Thank you for being

here with us, Alex.
ALEX: Thank you. Thank you.

KRIS: And for all the
inspiration.

Thank you. You saved me!
JONATHAN: Thanks to Alex to

for being here. You're the man!

KRIS: My secret w*apon!
JONATHAN: You made this game

real.
ALEX: All right, my man, you

got it... yes, sir.
JONATHAN: Congrats,

everybody.
That was a great game!

There's a rematch pending, I
think.

Drop the mic. I'm done.

♪

(applause and cheering)
JUSTIN: There's some people

that have ways of making magic
happen.

KIM: Thank you guys all so
much for welcoming us into your

community, and we're so proud
that you guys get to see,

really, all the amazing things
my mom and Corey have done to

set up this center.
MAN: All right, all right.

KRIS: Well, we did it.
Everything is done.

I can't wait to celebrate all
the hard work that was put in to

the community center.
ALL: Three... two... one...!

(cheering)
KRIS: I'm excited to see the

looks on the kids' faces and
just to welcome them to this

beautiful space.
JUSTIN: Hey, Ivan, guys, come

over.
Don't try to hide and get all

quiet all of a sudden.
Hey, I want you...

These are like the real deal,
the OGs.

Like, these guys live here.
There's been so many people that

have said nice things, but you
guys actually have created

results, and, um... I won't take
moments like that lightly.

You guys are the real deal, and,
um...

KRIS: Well so are you, Justin.

I know you've dedicated a lot of
your life to doing this.

But to be able to help you has
been an honor.

JUSTIN: No. No, it's-it's the...

I don't know.
You guys say something.

LAVELL: We wanted to say
thank you, first of all.

You know what I mean?
We had a whole lot of people

reaching out to us.
"Yeah, we're gonna come, we're

gonna reach out, we're gonna
do..."

And we never hear nothing.
When he said, "Oh, the."

Kardashian family gonna reach
out, " we're like, " Oh, come on,

Justin.
We just heard that from the last

organization."
And now you guys are here.

You know what I mean?
And we're very grateful for

that, because it was closed
from ' to , and there was

a whole lot of kids...
KRIS: Oh, wow.

LAVELL: Ripping and
running everywhere.

Now it's great for... my kids
can come in here, and they're

out of harm's way outside.
KRIS: Well, it's cool for us,

too, to see exactly what's going
on down here and see what the

need is next, and we're really
so proud of you that you turned

this around when it wasn't gonna
be here anymore.

Will you show us around?
JUSTIN: Let's-let's get...

Let's have a little fun.
Okay, so, guys, this is the

kitchen.
They wouldn't even let me see in

here, 'cause they wanted me to
be surprised.

What the...? Whoa!
KRIS: Oh, my God.

This is so great.
JUSTIN: I was not expect...

Wow. KRIS: Aw, this is so good.

PATRICK: This is... you know,
this is our youth, this is the

next generation.
Thank you very much for allowing

us to be part.
KRIS: It's an honor to be

involved, it truly is.
KOURTNEY: Of course.

KRIS: I can't be more
thrilled about the way

everything turned out.
Bluprint really went over and

beyond with their donation
towards the new kitchen.

JUSTIN: This is our STEM
media lab.

KRIS: This is so good.
The new media lab will really

bring educational opportunities
to the youth of Watts.

JUSTIN: Something that we
heard over and over from the

community when we were trying to
figure out how to make this all

happen... they just want to feel
a sense of home when they walk

here, 'cause, to be honest, lots
of them don't have a typical

home setting.
KRIS: I'm really proud of

everybody who contributed and
got behind this whole cause.

It's overwhelming.
MARVEON: Thank you.

Can I give you a hug?
KRIS: Oh, yes, thank you.

MARVEON: Thank you for
believing in underprivileged

communities like ours.
KRIS: So good. Thank you.

KIM: I am so proud of my mom,
that she's really taken on this

project. What's your name?

DAVANTE: Davante.
KIM: Nice to meet you,

Davante.
It just makes me so happy to see

that these kids can get off the
streets and know that they're

safe and have fun.
KOURTNEY: Thank you.

That was such a nice hug.
KIM: Even though my mom has

gotten so many amazing sponsors
and people to renovate the Watts.

Center, there's definitely so
much more work that has to be

done. KRIS: I really hope that

people can step up and keep
giving and contributing, 'cause

I'd like to see it just grow and
grow.

JUSTIN: Come on, come on.
Are you joking?

Little man, all day long.
Yeah, that's you.

KRIS: Hey.
JUSTIN: Hello. Hello. Hello.

KRIS: Hi.
WOMAN: Can I see some big

smiles? Keeping Up

with the Kardashians...
WOMAN: I'm so happy for you.

KIM: Ooh, so pretty!
KHLOE: I literally feel like

I'm dreaming.
There's no way that this baby

shower is for me.
KYLIE: Nothing in my closet

fits me. I'm just getting, like,

comfortable with my body again
since Stormi, and it's kind of

discouraging.
KIM: Are you ready to march

today? ]] NORTH: I'm ready.

KIM: If we just speak up and
get things done, I think we can

change the world for the better.