02x03 - Mama Madness

[bunniefuu]

♪

Uh-oh.

Lost your owner again?

Where are you going
without a leash, mister?

Bronco, stay.

Hey.

So, you're an anti-leasher, too?

Don't listen to the angry lady.

One oat milk frappe, and one Americano,

in these, please. Thank you.

What?

A God-fearing, g*n-toting, anti-leasher

can't care for the environment?

You know, fun fact: Oat milk
isn't great for the environment.

Fun fact: Driving your car three
blocks for coffee isn't either.

It's a hybrid...

I think.

BARISTA: Oat milk mocha with
whipped cream for Shannon?

Wow. And cow cream on top.

That's a nice touch.

It's more sugar than cream.

And hey, at least I don't hunt the cows.

Yeah, neither do I.
That's called farming.

You know, Bronco might
want to get consent

from that stuffy over there.

Great. No straws, thanks. Appreciate it.

Wow! What's the weather like up
there on the moral high ground?

It's hot, Shannon. It's
a climate emergency.

Bronco, dismount! We're walking home.

- Come on.
- (BARKING)

- (KISSING NOISE) Come on!
- (BARKING)

And I'm walking to my car.

Could I get another straw, please?

I think this one's cracked.

Yeah, for sure.

♪ Like, yeah, we so amazing ♪

♪ Yeah, we do it like that ♪

So, I was thinking you and Peg

should come over for six tonight.

What can she bring?

Maybe you could bring
something this time.

Nah, it gives Peg
purpose. Check this out.

(WHIRRING)

Are you grooming dogs or searing them?

watts of pure blowout power.

I can make you look like
Adele in about five seconds.

Where did you even get all this stuff?

Hair stylist.

Oh my God, not Colleen.

No. Your birth-mom crisis averted.

I went to Peg's stylist Siobhan.

Look at you, little miss start-up.

Yeah. I've made bucks already.

Then, the shelter keeps the profits.

Or you keep the profits and
the shelter charges you rent.

Fine. Sixty-forty split.

Wha... you're incentivizing
me to do my best work.

I thought your paycheque did that.

Hey,

I heard Colleen is
cutting hair in the city.

Oh.

Siobhan said she's working

at a place called Supercurls, if,

you know, you ever want to connect.

No, I'm good.

But... thanks.

Well, come back at lunch.

I wanna test my brushes on coarse hair.

Well, just think of me as an
inter-species marriage counsellor.

I just need Willa to stop
peeing in my tomato garden.

Well, keep asserting yourself

and you will be the
alpha before you know it.

Hey, once again, thanks
for everything, Kris.

You've been a great help.
Really appreciate it.

Hurts, right?

I'm getting used to it. Mr.
Panesco's a great foster...

"Mr. Panesco"? Are you serious?

Do you know who you were talking to?

I... Domenic "Ding-Dom" Panesco.

He's one of the biggest pro wrestlers

to ever come out of Hamilton.

Really? He's such a gentle guy.

Me and my older brother
Tim used to watch him on TV

and then kick the
crap out of each other.

You gotta introduce me to him.

Definitely! I'll text him.

Great!

I just wanna see how I
measure up to him, grip-wise.

Honestly?

Not even close.

Incredible.

What did you tell Appa
before he left to go to work.

Hey, we got money from the Tattermans!

Shut up! No. Not you, Halmoni.

Look, just put ice on the bunion.

And no soju before six.
(IN KOREAN) Kkeunh-eulgeyo.

She okay?

Probably.

So, the Tattermans are in?

Thanks to your k*ller intel.

k over two years.

Couldn't have done it without you.

- Did they say that?!
- No.

But I said it. And let's push
the meeting with Intrepid.

- Really?
- Yeah, the Tatterman money

gives us more breathing
room, and I'm still uneasy

about partnering with a pee pad company.

Can you let Tonya know?

Mm-hmm. "Shannon's uneasy
about the pee pads." Got it.

- Not that part.
- Oh. Of course.

I didn't know what wine
paired well with dinner,

so I got a red, white, and a rosé.

(GASPING) Rosé!

What a young, carefree
bevvy. Fill 'er up!

Uh-oh, fun Peg's here.
Hide your chunky jewellery.

I'm always fun, Niknak.
It runs in the family.

Ab-so-lute-lay.

Are we sure I'm not
the one who's adopted?

Thirty hours in labour and you
absolutely wrecked my pelvic floor.

TMI.

And if you feel such a
connection with Colleen,

why don't you go visit
her at Supercurls?

Your birth mom? Are you in touch?

She came by the shelter, but
she didn't even know who I was.

PEGGY: Oh. And are
you going to reach out?

I don't know. I kind of
closed the door on all that.

But if you're curious and
you want to know things...

like where to buy bulk cigarettes.

Has everyone met her but me?

I just don't want to
betray my mom-mom or you...

Or even you.

You guys are my family.

We love you, honey. We
support you no matter what.

Is this leading to a group hug?

Yeah. Whatever you
need, we're here for you.

I'm sorry. I'm just having
an allergic reaction to my...

Emotions.

Nature versus nurture, I guess.

What? I don't like crying.

(GLASSES CLINKING)

Second bag of jerky-ettes this week.

You know they're just treats, right?

Of course. Just stocking up.
Food security is so important.

That's not for you, Ruby.

Ruby, come.

Ruby?

Ruby?

Ruby...

That smells like bacon.

What does?

Whatever's staining your pocket.

She just doesn't listen
to me otherwise, so...

Ruby, come!

Very good!

See? Positive reinforcement.

There's no need to stain a
variegated micro check jacket.

Thank you for noticing.

I could work with her tomorrow,

see if I can get her responding
to commands without treats?

I would love that.

But you're not going to
steal her from me, are you?

I promise this will be
strictly professional.

Great. Because I just
announced adopting Ruby online.

It'd be embarrassing if we
didn't make it past a month.

♪ Give it to me like... ♪

♪ Give it to me like... ♪

My brother and I were at the
eastern championship in ' .

We made this big sign that said,

"Ding-Dom, don't ask who's there."

It still has got Dino
bravo's blood on it

from your flying elbow drop.

Oh, yeah. That was a good one. Right.

You remember us?

I remember the doorbell jokes.

They were cleaner than
a lot of the other ones.

That means so much to
me, you have no idea.

Oh, I'm glad, my friend. I'm glad.

Well, seriously, I'm so honoured
to have brought you two together.

Ah, it's great, pal. I'm happy.

Take care, Mr. Panesco!

Or should I say "The Dominator".

Yeah!

Please don't.

Oh! Do you prefer "Ding-Dom"?

Listen, I signed the poster
and I want that to be that.

Wrestling made me into a monster.

I did ten years of therapy
trying to forget all that.

I'm so sorry. I wish
you'd said something.

I didn't want to disappoint a fan.

I'm just an old man who wishes

he could have made
different choices, okay?

But I don't need him knowing all that.

PAUL: Come on, grab my throat.

Tighter! Okay, more like this.

You got it!

Okay. Now, I'm gonna...

Okay, I'm down.

What?

(PHONE VIBRATING)

(CLEARING THROAT)

Tonya, hi!

Hi. I got your message.

Why are we rescheduling
the Intrepid meeting?

Intrepid! Yes! No, we're not.

I, uh... I-I left the
message to confirm the date...

I thought Shannon wanted to move it.

No! I said she wanted to improve it.

Yeah, with more notes and research.

Good because, you know,
pushing the meeting

would just send all the wrong signals.

Of course. Mm-hmm.

Meeting is definitely still on.

Okay. Gotta go. Love ya!

- (PHONE BEEPING)
- What?

Oh.

(DOOR CLOSING)

Excuse me.

Sleeping one off?

No, it's just...

I'm Shannon... Ross.

I work at Hamilton East Animal Shelter.

We've met a little while ago.

Yeah.

I'm a friend of Nikki's

and she's been feeling really bad

about the way things went down,

and so she wanted me to tell
you that she's really sorry.

Yeah, it...

Wasn't exactly the way
I wanted to leave it.

Yeah. It's a lot to take in.

But she thinks you're really cool

and hopes you're doing okay.

Yeah, it's the eyes that give it away.

Sorry?

Well, that's what I was
thinking the last time I saw you,

that... you have his eyes.

Who?

Your dad.

I know Nikki's not my daughter.

I looked it up.

But her cousin is, and
that's... that's you, right?

I'm so sorry.

I just didn't know what to
do or how to approach this.

Same.

What was he like?

He was funny.

He had this, like, frenetic energy,

and he was a musician.

He played in a lot of bands...

With these cute tight jeans.

Then, he got too old
for cute tight jeans

and he became a music teacher, I think.

We lost touch.

I have a... a client in .

Yeah, I should go.

You know, they're
always late. It's okay.

I guess you wanna know why.

Stuck in traffic?

No. Why I did what I did.

No. Well, I don't have...

'Cause I knew you'd be
better off. I was right.

I've been lucky.

About time someone in this family was.

But, to be honest, I can
see that you're struggling

under some weight.

You know, we all make bad choices.

I guess. I've been in
therapy for two years.

I tell people that I moved
to Hamilton for the job,

but the truth is I feel
like I'm on this train

and everybody else knows
where their stop is,

confidently getting on and
off, and I keep thinking,

"Is this me? Do I get off here?"

But then, while I'm thinking,
the train starts moving again.

Does that make any sense?

I was... I was talking about your hair.

Oh my God.

Do you want a trim?

Is there a family discount?

- We'll see how it goes.
- Okay.

Ruby, sit.

Stay.

Very good!

And if I were to check your pockets?

It's all about tone and assertiveness.

Ruby, sit.

Sit?

Sit?

You're making it sound
like a question. Sit.

She's over me already. That was quick.

She's probably just tired;
We've been at it for a while.

Is that bacon grease?

Duck.

- Ruby?
- (BARKING)

Ha-ha. Ah...

Yes.

What? Too good for a
dog grooming station?

Oh. Actually, I wasn't planning on it.

I just went to see Colleen.

Oh. And you...

Yep. You don't have to pretend
to be anyone's daughter anymore.

So, was it waterworks central or... ?

Not really. But it might
be one of those things

where I burst into tears at
the grocery store in a week.

Well, if that happens, call me.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

No guarantees that I'll answer, but...

Call me.

- (PHONE VIBRATING)
- Thanks, Nikki.

Hi, Tonya.

I'm so sorry. I'm not going to
make the Intrepid meeting today.

Oh. I thought we were...

Montgomery just ate Greenland
off of our Lego globe.

I mean, it's not like we don't feed him.

Gretchen, can you take
Monty, put him in the car?

Back seat this time. Okay,
now, about this meeting -

Bry went to Rotman
with my bestie Shareen,

- so don't blow this.
- It's going to be fine.

You need to be there
for Montgomery right now.

Okay, thanks. Gretchen,
wipe those tears!

This isn't about you!

Did you get my message?

Did you not cancel Intrepid?

I didn't want to tell you on
the phone, but now I think it...

oh, wow, your hair...

Focus Joy.

"But good wow", right?

Great wow.

The Tattermans k*lled a giraffe.

- What?
- Oh, I'm so sorry.

I need to show you.

It just looks fuller somehow
and bouncy. Is it bouncier?

Joy!

Oh my God. This.

A Tatterman sister Sabrina

sh*t a giraffe in Africa and posted it.

And when she got called
out by animal rights groups,

she threatened to "giraffe"
their whole office.

Obviously, we can't take their money.

I know! And that's why I didn't
want to postpone with Intrepid.

It sends all the wrong signals.

I haven't gotten a chance to prep,

and Tonya can't make the meeting
because her son ate Greenland!

They say he's gifted.

Okay, you'll have to
brief me in the car.

No problem. And I'm happy
to stand outside the office

and give you signals through the window.

Joy, you're doing the meeting.

What? Wait. But what if I'm not ready?

My hair doesn't even bounce.

Joy, do you know who did my hair?

- My birth mother.
- Oh my God.

Yeah. Do you think I
thought I was ready for that?

The woman who gave you
up, leaving you searching,

wandering for a lifetime?

Well, I wouldn't say "wandering".

And now, this heart-bursting haircut,

pouring out years of love.

I'm .

It's never too late for sunscreen.

We got any tripods in here?

Yeah. Just one right now.

No.

I meant for recording. I was thinking,

next time Ding-Dom comes in,

I'd get him to thr*aten
my brother Tim on camera.

I wouldn't want to
impose on Mr. Panesco,

or send a cyber thr*at to your brother.

No, he'll love it. You
know, Ding-Dom was a...

He was an inspiration to us growing up,

especially after my
mom and dad split up.

There was a long period there,

where we didn't see my dad at all,

and then with the drinking...

Dom was... Just like a beacon.

- I didn't know.
- It's okay.

Maybe just float it by him, okay?

- I'll see what I can do.
- Thanks.

- And Paul?
- Yeah?

Thank you for sharing.

Happy to. Just don't tell me your stuff,

'cause I'm a really bad listener.

This way, seniors, both people and pets,

can thrive through Gran-paws,
hand in hand, paw in paw.

I love it. Bringing comfort to seniors

is what Intrepid bladder
pads, are all about,

which makes this potential
partnership so exciting.

Give yourselves a "pad" on
the back for a job well done.

They make me say that.

Thank you.

Hope to get back to you
with a decision soon.

Great.

Just don't take too long.

Or take as long as you need.

It's just that, two hours ago,

I didn't even know
I'd be at this meeting,

and Shannon didn't know she'd
get a haircut from her birth mom -

which looks fantastic.

Look, opportunities
can come out of nowhere.

The question is, are you
brave enough to embrace them?

We are, and we hope you are too.

Sure.

Appreciate your time.

Thank you, Bry. It
was great meeting you.

Maybe I shouldn't have said all that.

Maybe.

Oh! If it isn't
Hamilton's cutest couple.

Getting our steps in.

I may have given Ruby
a few too many treats.

Oh, well, at least
you're walking them off.

And I put this sweater
on her to hide the bloat.

Didn't want rubes to
feel self-conscious.

Get up. Come on.

Oh, that's odd. Ruby, not the sweater.

She was so lively with
Bronco the other day.

Ugh. This is Hugh all over again.

What?

Ruby obviously doesn't love me.

I'm just trying to reel her
back in with treats and gifts.

But that never works because
it's not about the tea

or the merino socks
or the reading light.

Ruby is lucky to have an owner like you.

Why don't you just
bring her in tomorrow?

We'll have Lara take a look.

She was just with Lara.

Ugh, they were probably
talking trash about me

and my pork-stained jacket.

DOM: Actually made good progress.

Every day. Every day.

Yeah, you've done a good job
with her. I appreciate it.

- KRIS: I'll get the door.
- DOM: Thank you.

Hey! Mr. Panesco!

Paul! What's up?

I thought you said you were
gonna tell me when he came back.

Uh, uh, no need!

I already sorted the
whole thing out with him.

So, he's doing the video?

He can't. Uh, copyright problems.

But hey, we tried!

You should've let me talk to him.

I can't let you do this.
You can't talk to him,

because Ding-Dom hated
that time in his life.

You, if anyone, should understand
that he's trying to change.

Jeez, and I've been hounding
him like a crazy fan.

He could see how much
Ding-Dom meant to you.

Well, at least this happened
to adult Paul. You know?

I mean, ten-year-old-Paul would be...

Sweatin' from the eye sockets, you know?

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

Hey!

Hey!

How's Monty?

Better, thanks.

Doctor said if he'd swallowed Italy,

his opera career would have
been over. So, how did it go?

Oh, well, Bry called,
and Intrepid is in!

(GASPING) Tell me everything.

I think they liked our passion,

or the gift basket I sent, or both.

Let me rephrase: How much
money are they giving us?

Okay, $ k to sponsor Gran-paws
for the first six months.

And then, if that goes well,

they are going to bump
it to $ k for the year.

Amazing. And with the
Tatterman Foundation gift?

Yeah. (INHALING SHARPLY)

FYI: We can't accept that gift.

It's my fault.

Turns out the Tattermans
only wanted to sponsor us

because the family's under fire
for hunting endangered animals.

I'm so sorry, I didn't
catch it in my research.

But, Joy really stepped
up in the Intrepid meeting.

J takes it to the
hoop. I'm not surprised.

And the Tattermans are so gaudy.

Of course, they hunt.
Let me guess, zebras?

Giraffes.

Stop. I have to tell Scout.

He used to sail with Felix Tatterman,

and Felix would always
throw the marlins back,

pretending like he was some kinda saint.

Well, this was Sabrina, not Felix.

TONYA: Tattermans are Tattermans.

And I've got contacts;
We'll find more money.

Oh.

You're going to stay here and work?

Oh my God. Scout is losing it.

Hey, so, Ruby's fine. Totally healthy.

But she is pregnant.

Oh my gosh! Puppies!

The poster child of our spay
and neuter campaign is pregnant?

Looks like she mingled.

Looks like we're gonna
need some new posters.

Get on that cash flow, T.

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

We had a big intake and
Liam was adopting her, so...

I'll leave you to deal with this.

And don't call me T.

Bye, J.

- KRIS: Mr. Panesco?
- Yeah?

- You forgot this.
- Oh, hey, thanks, bud.

Yeah, I had to get
away from buddy there.

Guy's relentless. Get
a freakin' life, pal.

Yeah. Well, he didn't know.

He didn't know what?
He's a freakin' a-hole?

No. He didn't know
that he's upsetting you

because you didn't let him
hear your truth, Ding-Dom.

Hey, easy with the Ding-Doms.

Sorry, but if you're
acting like a Ding-Dom,

I'm gonna call you a Ding-Dom.

Listen, Kris, I like you,
but you're pushing it.

Yeah? Really? 'Cause
I'm starting to think

that you deserve to
have your garden peed in!

Hey! You wanna say that to my fist?

Hey! Hey! What the
hell is going on here?

What? You think your life is hard, bro?

This guy went to prison after his
abusive, alcoholic father left him.

You were the only role
model that Paul had.

Well, I had my mom, and my
dad on weekends and summers.

The least you that could do is
take a flippin' video for him!

And my father wasn't
abusive. He was just divorced.

But the drinking...

He didn't drink. I drank.

He was the principal at my high school.

He was a pretty average guy, really.

You know what? You can both
get the hell out of my face!

Hey! If you've got a problem with him,

then you got a problem with me.

I do got a problem with
you! That's what I just said!

Oh, well then maybe you
should say it to my fist!

That's my catchphrase!

Dom?

I'm going to get in my
car, do some box breathing,

and find five circular things
in this parking lot to count.

Hey, thanks.

No problem. It felt kinda
great screaming like that.

Okay, okay. Just put the dragon
back in the cave, all right?

Got your message.

Hi. I'm Liam.

Travis.

Oh. I pictured you with a mullet.

What's going on?

Ruby's not sick. She's pregnant.

What? How?

Care to explain, mister

"I'm going to let my un-neutered
dog hump everything it sees

while lying about having him fixed"?

I never said I was
gonna get Bronco fixed.

You said you were gonna go to
home hardware and get it done.

They do it there?

I meant I'd get him
chipped, which I did.

What's your excuse, miss "I
don't know what spay means"?

We're dealing with a lot of
dogs right now. You have one.

I'm gonna have puppies?

We're gonna have puppies.

Well, technically, Ruby
belonged to the shelter

when she got pregnant.

Young, confused,

just trying to make the
best decision she could.

I'm sorry. It's... it's been a week.

Well, looks like we've got an
interesting nine months ahead.

Dogs are only pregnant
for three months max.

One piece of information
at a time, Ross.

Got it.

♪ Let's shake it up ♪

♪ It's kinda scary, but
I'm lovin' the rush ♪

♪ My heart is racin' like oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ 'Cause this feels like home ♪

♪ Yeah, it's true ♪

♪ Look in the mirror
and I'm feelin' so good ♪

♪ Yeah, I've been
searchin' like oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ And this feels like home ♪