02x08 - House Sitting

[bunniefuu]

Hey, there you are. I did two loops.

Must have missed you the first time.

Hey, Ruby! Where's Liam?

In Belleville, scouting

a new condo development.

Oh, but he did leave some voice memos.

Ruby-kins, it's Daddy.

Who's a good dog?

101 Dalmatians, but with condos.

Don't think he meant

to send the last one.

Aw, too bad he didn't take

Ruby. She'd love a road trip.

I think he was worried,

given her condition.

Oh, she still has a couple weeks,

but never too early to plan.

Uh, speaking of, I was wondering

if you've had a chance

to look at my budget.

- Oh, yeah, yeah. I just had to walk Ruby.

- Right.

It's just that if I

don't pre-order in time,

we get low on water

bowls, vitamins, food.

And as you know, I'm not authorized

- to make payments over $150.

- Right.

Which is kind of silly,

if you think about it.

I will th think about it.

- The food. For our animals.

- Yes.

Because I have some ideas about

how we could be doing better.

For starters, you could give

me greater spending authority.

Uh, that's fair, but I don't

think now is the right

I'm just advocating

for our animals. And me.

Point taken. Oh, and I think

we're running low on food.

I'm going to do another loop.

Hey!

Hey.

What's going on with my man B-boy?

Well, we had a little chat

and, uh, decided that

eight kids was plenty.

You got him neutered.

Well, nothing to do with you.

Bronco came up with the

decision all by himself,

based solely on child support.

Well, it's very responsible.

Yeah. Hey, listen. Um, what

are you doing this weekend?

Oh. Um, depends. What

day were you thinking?

- Friday, Saturday.

- The whole weekend?

Well, I'll be back on Sunday.

It's just, I was hoping

someone could stay at the

house, keep an eye on my mom.

Oh! Oh, I see.

Yeah. She fell again this week.

I mean, she said she's okay,

but I just want to make sure.

Right. Um, and you're going away

on some kind of romantic weekend?

No. Me and my buddies are

going to go ATV-ing and fishing,

and Dougie's got some

new g*ns to try out, so

- You're going to sh**t fish?

- Well, no, that wasn't the plan.

Well, I'd love to help, but I'm

taking care of Ruby for Liam,

and I signed up for

a charcuterie webinar.

You really could have come up

with a cooler lie than that.

Okay. That was my cool lie.

I'm sure there are other people

- who can do this.

- Actually, no, there's not.

My mom's friend Janet's a booze hound,

and our cousin Helen's a narcoleptic.

Well, what about Stephanie?

I'm assuming that was her over

at the house the other day.

What?

I don't know what you're talking about.

- Did you see her?

- Yes.

Okay. Fine. She was over but

just to pick up some of her crap.

Well, maybe she can check in on Doris.

You all seem pretty chummy.

Are you kidding? If she

got her foot in the door,

I wouldn't have any stuff left and

she'd be hitting Doris up for cash.

Or maybe that's just your

go-to complaint about women.

Okay. What's going on here? I

came here to ask for a favour

because I trust you and you

get along with my mother,

but listen, hey, have

fun with your fake olives

and wooden cutting boards or whatever.

Thanks. I will. Have fun sh**ting at

Nope. I'm still on team fish.

Oh. Thanks for doing this.

I asked Yazmin, but

she said no. Respect.

Gen Zs know how to set boundaries.

And they cancelled the laugh-cry emoji.

Ooh, look at this little assembly line.

And Marko. How's dat tech city life?

- Dead and gone.

- Oh, I just thought 'cause

He's DJ-ing full-time.

The polo's part of his fit.

Yeah. Deadmau5 has his helmet.

I've got this. DJ Marko Polo.

- Oh. Glad it's going well.

- Yeah, it's crazy.

I'm playing a bat

mitzvah in Brampton today.

Mazel tov. And check this out.

Wha the body switch pillow?

I found it in my storage and d*ed.

Rest your head on this bed,

and I'll be there in your stead.

Take a ride through my eyes.

Understanding is our prize!

It's from Wacky Wednesday.

Never heard of it.

Oh, it's crazy.

Joy gets it.

No. That movie makes no sense.

Says the girl who loves Princess Law!

It's a fish-out-of-water story!

Wacky Wednesday is awesome.

It's about these two

girls who are neighbours.

- But they hate each other.

- Yes, and then one night,

on a sleepover, their

pillows become magic,

and they switch bodies.

Nikki was obsessed

with the brother, Riley Thomas.

The guy who gets turned into a cat?

- Yes.

- Whatever.

Oh, that means it's true.

"Whatever" is her DTF word.

Whatever.

Okay. Now, you're kind of

ruining the whole pillow vibe.

Not for me.

I get that.

- Ooh.

- Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey! Hey, you get my texts?

Yes. I got your texts, missed calls,

and your attempt to match with me.

Okay. I just sent a listing.

Oh, wow. That's beautiful.

Three acres.

The price is right.

And is that actual waterfront?

Yeah, and I just talked to the agent.

She said she hasn't gotten any bids yet,

but she's getting a lot of calls.

And where is this? Grafton.

Huh. The agent's with Caber-MacLean.

- I used to work for them.

- Well, that's good, right?

Their legal team didn't love me.

Mm. I been there. So,

can you meet me or what?

- I can't blow this.

- I'm still in Belleville.

Everyone's telling me

I have to see the caves.

Yeah, but you kind of owe me

after that last deal tanked.

I thought you owed me.

Either way, this evens things out.

Okay. Let me reach out to this agent.

I could probably meet you Saturday.

Grafton's on my way back.

Amazing. Thanks. And listen,

if this all works out, by this weekend,

you and me can be skinny

dipping in that lake.

Uh, yeah. I won't be

joining you for that.

That's your loss.

Excuse me?

I'm here to see Lara Erikson.

Are you the turtle owner?

I can always spot a shell-head.

I'm Johan Erikson, Lara's father.

Oh, wow! Uh, Kristian Murphy,

acting manager, animal care.

Uh, Lara's an incredible

woman veterinarian.

- She's special, yes.

- Yeah. She and I

have been spearheading the

spay and neuter program.

You could say, a balls-y undertaking.

Lara and I do these

I will go get her.

Great.

- Lara?

- I'm not signing up

for Yazmin's walk-a-thon

unless there's a prize.

No. Uh, your father's here?

Is that a question or a statement?

Pretty sure it's a statement?

He's waiting by the front desk.

He's very

Yeah. That's the expression.

He's in town for a conference,

but he never visits me here.

He thinks working at an animal shelter

is practice for a real career.

You're a medical

professional. No offense.

- What does he know?

- He's a plastic surgeon.

- Sounds vapid.

- Who works with w*r victims.

- And noble.

- Yeah. He and my mother founded

Chirurgiens Plastiques Sans Frontières.

- Pfft. Parents.

- When I told them

I wanted to be a vet

I'd never seen my father cry.

I've never seen my father do anything.

Anonymous sperm donor.

Mm.

I still don't understand

why the princess

- needed the law degree.

- Mm. Because she didn't want

to marry the evil stockbroker.

Why not? He's a snack.

He can crunch my numbers anytime.

Uh-oh. A salty talk in the workplace?

What? I'm sex-positive.

As in positive I need some.

You saying you don't?

Me? No, I'm doing perfectly fine.

Thanks for asking.

Uh-huh. See you tonight?

You bet. I'll pick up short ribs.

Whoo-hoo! I'll grab

us some more carling.

- Okay.

- So, I guess you're Doris-sitting for Travis?

Mm-hmm. He's paying me.

Now, I can afford my cousin's old car.

It's a mini-van, but

it's in great shape.

Look at you! Joy getting her own whip.

And Doris is a riot.

So different from my parents.

She went to the bathroom

and left the door open.

Like, we had a conversation.

- Like, she peed while we talked.

- Right.

Well, I feel badly

that I couldn't do it.

I'm sure Doris was pretty disappointed.

Mm. It hasn't come up,

and we talked forever.

- Hmm.

- Did you know she met

Michael Moore at Applebee's?

Do you know who Michael Moore is?

Yes.

Who is he?

Wack att*ck!

- No.

- Mm-hmm.

Where did you find it?

Peg hoards all my childhood crap.

I was going to toss it, but

then I thought I don't know.

Aw, Nikki. You want

to watch it together.

No! Maybe. Don't make it weird.

Oh, remember our movie nights?

We'd sleep in sleeping bags

and stuff our faces with popcorn.

Would've been more fun with booze.

- We were eight.

- Still,

what a great drinking game.

Take a sip every time

someone says "pillow."

Oh, God. I would be out cold.

But we should watch it.

What are you doing tonight?

Bit thirsty, Shans? But yeah, maybe.

We can even prank-call Peggy!

Okay, but no calling

her back to apologize.

- Okay.

- Okay. Bye.

Expressing a**l glands is important,

especially for Oscar here,

- who can't do it himself.

- He seems jumpy.

Well, you would, too, with

three fingers in your rectum.

Uh, no. I meant the guy

who brought me back here.

Kristian? No.

He seemed nervous,

more nervous than the last guy.

Last guy?

You mean Ravi. I'm not dating Kristian.

Good. Your work deserves the focus.

I should go. I'm due

back at the conference

for a panel on

metatarsal reconstruction.

Okay. Uh, sorry.

I thought that you wanted

to see me in action.

I did, and I have.

I admire your dedication.

- Thanks, Dad.

- I just wish someone

of your ability would

apply it to more than this.

- I like my job.

- When I was your age,

your mother and I pioneered

our first skin graft.

You're popping cats' heads

out of peanut butter jars.

It was almond butter, and yesterday,

I saved a beagle's life.

Though she immediately ate a bird,

so it was kind of a wash.

David Lowman from the

Guelph vet school is in town

for the conference.

He'd love to see you.

Oh, he still works there?

I thought I signed a

retirement card for him. Twice.

He has an opening in his department,

and he owes me a favour.

I corrected his botched eyebrow lift.

You should've seen it. Surprised

doesn't begin to describe it.

Dad, I'm not interested.

Just meet with him.

I've arranged dinner.

At the very least, you

can tell me more about

Whatever it is you're doing here.

You know, I timed my

painkiller for this meeting,

so if your client's not

here in the next 30 minutes,

I'm going to a lot less

flexible on the terms.

I'm sure he's moments away.

Congratulations.

We haven't closed yet.

On the baby.

Oh, thank you.

Yay. We did it.

I'm expecting, too.

Really? Your first?

- Yeah.

- Oh, you never forget that.

Hopefully, the second one goes smoother.

Was it not smooth?

Well, my water broke

when I was in the middle

of an open house, and

then I blacked out.

And I came to on some

blood-soaked towels

- in the guest bedroom.

- Oh, God.

Yeah. There was a wall

of mirrored closet doors,

and, uh, well, I literally

watched myself give birth.

Hey! You must be Suzanne.

I am Paul.

Hi, there.

You're late.

For court.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

This guy. Always kidding.

I just I drove past

the property one last time.

It is beautiful.

Everything I'm looking for.

Okay. So, I drafted the agreement.

Here you go.

- Thank you.

- Oops-y!

Uh, my last name is spelled wrong.

We're not off to a great

start here, Suzanne.

I got it from your email.

- Yeah. I really should fix that.

- Yes.

- Ready to roll?

- Thanks again.

Ever since I made that

driver sanitize their hands,

Uber stopped sending cars.

And the best part: Lilith

Fair playlist for the drive.

Ugh! If we arrive after the arancini,

I will never hear the end of it.

Guelph's a good school.

I just never really

considered myself teaching.

I think the work you're

doing here is pretty special.

Yeah. I just wonder if it's enough.

For you, or for your dad?

I know my dad is a bit blunt,

but he has my best interests at heart.

He just doesn't appreciate

how fantastic you are.

At your job. How hard you work

to make sure every animal

is happy and healthy,

no matter how many

hikes you have to cancel.

Maybe I've settled when

there's something else out there

to challenge me.

It's why I broke up with Ravi.

Ah! Got it.

You broke up w what?

My dad texted. Uh, small change of plan.

Uh, Lara, I I think

I need to say something.

- Watch it.

- Hmm?

There's cherry soda on the floor.

Oh, okay. Yeah.

Also, do you know if

there's more cherry soda?

We should go.

One second, Rubes.

Doris?

Joy?

Hello? It's Shannon.

Party police.

Is everyone okay?

Hey! Where are you?

Sorry. I'm running a bit late.

Just checking in on Doris.

Okay. Well, I brought some

games. I mean, they're dumb, but

you love that kind of

crap, so you're welcome.

Joy? Doris?

Stephanie?

Oh, and I looked up Riley Thomas.

Did not age well. Face

like a melted candle.

- But still kind of hot.

- Hey!

Just, um, wondering

Oh, wow.

Shannon?

Wait. Is this a prank call?

Good one.

Damn it!

Oh, my gosh!

Shannon? Are you okay?

I'm fine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to

Wake me? You didn't. I

mean, I wasn't sleeping.

I mean, I was, all spread out

so it looked like there was two of me.

Oh, no.

- Casualties.

- Watch your step.

D-Devon, what are you doing here?

Joy, I know.

I thought you were you

were watching Doris tonight?

We were, but Doris wanted a night out,

so Stephanie took her for

a drink, and then we

Okay.

My umma was right. Sex ruins everything.

Joy, I'm fine.

Not sure about your dog, though.

Oh, my God. Is she going into labour?

Should we take her to the shelter?

I don't think there's enough time.

Okay. I'll call Lara.

- Get some towels.

- It's okay.

Hand or beach?

Hand or beach?

- Just like we practised.

- Affirmative.

Now, it's straight

ahead for 1.5 kilometres.

That's correct.

So, none of you drive.

Driverless cars are

coming. What's the point?

Now, when we meet David,

be sure to highlight

your surgical skills.

And tell him the

shelter's not for profit.

- Academia loves an altruist.

- It is not for profit.

Even better. We need to

make the most of this.

It's the move you've been waiting for.

I wouldn't say that, exactly.

With respect, Lara's an amazing vet.

Her work at the shelter

deserves more credit.

With respect, there's only

so much credit you can get

expressing the anus of a cat.

Yeah? Well, a cat's anus is as important

as anyone else's anus.

- Shannon?

- The puppies are having a Ruby.

Sorry. What?

They're they're coming. She's

she's in labour.

- We're on our way.

- Should I turn around?

Yes. I promised Liam I'd

be there for the delivery.

And I promised David we'd treat him

to a four-course tasting

menu. Driver, go straight.

He's not our driver!

Receptionist, then.

Not that it matters.

He only listens to you.

I'm turning around.

When it's safe and legal to do so.

So, we're good on the contingency dates?

- I am.

- I have some concerns.

Ah, it's a good deal. Just sign it.

I don't want her to think I'm a sucker.

Uh, I'm just wondering

why it says, uh, "any

additional documents

such as land surveys,

copies of land registry, etc.

May be at the sole cost of the buyer."

Shouldn't shouldn't the

seller be paying for that?

- I mean, it's their land.

- That's negotiable.

I think we can sign in good

faith and attach an amendment.

I also would like to ask

- about that old canoe.

- He's joking.

No. I saw it when I was driving by.

Well, that's not part of the land.

It must have just washed up there.

Mm, but maybe we could include it.

You know, sweeten the pot a little.

I'll see what I can do.

Uh, sorry. One sec.

Hi, Liam.

- It's Joy.

- Who?

Uh, uh, I just wanted you

to know that Ruby's fine

- Okay.

- And is in labour.

What? It's happening? Where's Shannon?

Uh, she's on the phone with Lara.

Lara's not there?

Well, she's stuck in traffic,

but I'm sure Ruby's

Oh, God.

Tell Ruby I'm coming!

- Oh, my God. It's happening.

- What?

Oh, my God! Go! Get out of here!

Don't worry about it.

I'll settle things up here.

I'm feeling pretty good about the canoe.

- Just sign it.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Just go. Be with your gal.

- Oh, my God!

I'm going to be a doggy daddy!

Wait. I'm sorry. Your dog is pregnant?

Yes. And alone. You get it.

I'm giving birth to a child.

Right, but like you

said, it's your second,

not that it's a competition.

It's a little different.

Because you know you'll be there.

Because I have to be there!

- Okay! Good luck, buddy!

- Okay. PDF me the doc

- when you're done, yeah?

- Yeah. I'm going to be

scribbling in some of

my own language on this.

Oh, no. You don't have to.

Travel safe!

I didn't mean to kick him out.

- It was fantastic.

- When he criticized the music,

something just snapped.

Don't worry, Shannon! We're coming!

Ruby's in great hands.

Great hands that are shaking.

Do you have soft towels?

She does!

And what's her heart rate?

Um very fast.

Okay. I want you to gently

move her onto her side.

Okay.

Ah, she won't let me touch her.

It's okay. That's normal.

Sometimes, they just need space

to let nature do her thing.

I think one's here.

Oh, my gosh. It's beautiful.

Are they all going to look like that?

Hang in there. You got this.

Thanks, Kristian.

I meant Ruby.

Eyes on the road!

Sorry.

You did good, girl.

Where is she?

- How is she?

- Ruby's great.

It's okay. Daddy's here.

Why is she shivering? Is it too much

to ask someone to get her a throw?

Cashmere or merino, ideally.

Shivering is part of the process.

And look.

Welcome to the world, little guys.

They're slimy,

a little nauseating, and

Pretty darn cute.

Congratulations, Mom.

Actually, we're grandparents.

Yeah. I guess we are.

It was actually pretty

tricky. One of them was breech,

- and we had to

- No.

No.

You talk to your dad yet?

No.

But I'll call him tomorrow, and

it'll be like it never happened.

He's probably moved on

to my brother already.

He's a chiropractor.

I just wish Johan could

have seen you in action.

You mean talking on

the phone to Shannon?

Come on. You know you're good.

And you were very patient.

And kind.

That's why I love working here.

The people.

- Can I ask you something?

- Of course.

Okay. We've known each

other a long time, and

I need to know

You think I'll ever get promoted

to permanent animal care manager?

Oh. I

yes I do.

Okay. Thanks.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Yo, it's Nikki.

I either don't want to talk to you,

or I'm busy doing something cool.

Leave a message.

Nikki, I'm so sorry. Today was insane,

and I completely forgot

about movie night.

But Ruby is officially a mama,

and I got to play dog doula.

Anyways, uh, I'm really sorry.

I promise I'll make it up to you.

Oh, my God. Nikki.

And Marko.

Oh! Nikki, get out of my bed!

What? It felt like it

could use some breaking in.

And also, I forgive you.

You better not be

using the magic pillow.

Why? You looking to body-switch?

Shut up. You don't know

how the pillow works.

I'm pretty sure he gets it.