oh another exciting mapathon wish
someone to do the math on how many years
that took off my life you should be
proud you son just won you won well yeah
why'd you leap up and Cheer I was just
so happy it was over how do you honey
yeah good job son so what happens now
you go to the locker room and ice your
brain this is a beautiful trophy yeah
what is that it's the symbol for pie you
know pie is right yeah it's a delicious
dessert sometimes served olimar know
what a la mode is Brian you're hungry
aren't you bill and I could eat I'm
gonna be right back on I'm gonna go talk
to one of the judges I lost points on a
conclusion that I think I can defend all
right Judy be honest which of these
eggheads is Brian's real father of taste
bow tie I made him uses inhalers three
times that night let's get out of here
before people start to talk to us maybe
for once we should mingle with the other
parents they're no different than us hey
my tee shirts on backwards I'm second
thought maybe we should get going hey
mr. Miller coach Hollinger hey my dad
was your football coach when I was a
little kid boy they say old age creeps
up on you but it just hit you wanna hit
like a break remember you little teddy
Hollinger you were so cute I taught you
the F word maybe coats about it hey
listen uh what are you know like Brian
go out for the football team what the f
are you talking about baum in gym class
he's got quite a leg he could be a good
place kicker really the football team I
don't think Brian's a dead woman please
a smart man is talking so you want Brian
on the team I'm not saying he'd be first
string but we could use them on the
squad now you're talking about Brian and
Miller this kid right the one getting
beat up by a sister yeah let's tell him
to think it over
okay bill don't go crazy we don't even
know if Ryan wants to do it Judy I can't
hear you over the chorus of angels
singing in my hand stay calm great news
the judge gave me credit turns out my
polynomials were inverted well they're
about to drop son cuz you're playing
football
[Applause]
[Music]
about time you guys got home it took me
forever to get Yuna to go to sleep I
know we've been circling the block
waiting for bedroom light to go out I'm
gonna go email my biology study group
into them and I want hey don't forget to
tell him about football I told you dad I
have to think about I know oh and hey I
love you son I know dad you told me six
times tonight get out of here you're
crazy kid before i make it seven haha
what the hell I love you I'm sorry honey
Lauren loves you too O'Brien your
brother's going out for the football
team cool after he gets flattened he can
be our new doormat he is not going to be
flattened we're not even sure he's
playing football what are you talking
about we could get hurt I never got hurt
when I play yeah well look at you you
got bigger bones in a sick candy coating
the kid needs exercise he's always
cooped up in his room study and it's
like we're raising veal no it's not a
people reveal you would have breaded and
fried it by now
I have some of the best years of my life
playing high school football I learned
things there that I still use today
things like sportsmanship teamwork
learning to respect your fellow player
did you get one of the guys drunk and
shave his head so three of us did it
that's teamwork all right this is a
chance for one of our kids to be an
athlete Lorin played soccer for four
years yeah yeah Tina rides a tricycle
real fast we're talking about football
my son on the field of glory just don't
want you to become when those crazy
fathers who push their kids into things
hey it's a father's duty to toughen up
his son when I was a kid my dad made me
fight a dog just for a bet I asked your
father about that he squares to never
happen oh yeah jasken how he got that
ping pong table Brian make his own
decision fine where are you going I'm
gonna make sure he gets all the facts
you know the pros and cons so we can
make an informed decision pros and cons
you promise scouts honor you are never
Scout scouts are losers and football
players rule
he's sports I know dad you love me do
son how come you never told me the coach
asks you to be on the team I figure
between mathletes junior achievement and
debate club it really didn't have the
time for football you know it's only
around the debate team yes I did no you
didn't yes I think oh you're good how I
I may not know about debate or
understand most of what you say but I do
care about you thanks dad some song song
song let me tell you a little story
about a secret land an enchanted place
where the golden boys where magical
jackets that land is high school and
that jacket is a varsity football jacket
if you wear that magical jacket it'll
open doors for you what kind of doors
well let's just say some of those doors
hook in front summoned back okay I'm
with you now but shouldn't girls like me
for who I am brains and a sense of humor
dad you heard the coach I'd only be
third training football I'm the star the
math team and that's great son but you
know how it's your masa farms there's
always those really hot girls cheering
you on dad there are new cheerleader Oh
finally doing the kind of math you can
actually use in life girl give it a shot
all right that's my boy okay come on hit
me hit me I'm the kicker dad take me
sorry I'm just a little excited now
you're sure this is your decision and
you made it all by yourself you'd be
willing to casually work that into a
conversation with your mother yeah I
guess good cuz I'm here to support you
and anything you do this is about what
you want son
I can't make us come to brians stupid
football game never tickets to a stupid
mass tournament I think it has brought
us to carry you sis oh you're also here
in case I dropped my keys under the
bleachers ah looks like Brian's been
talking to the coach for a long time
yeah he's showing them how to set a
digital watch yeah check out number 43
he is so cute 43 2481 they're all the
things you remember their number but
they never remember yours next thing you
know it's prom night you get dumped your
mascaras running and everybody's
laughing at you enjoy high school honey
excuse me this section is reserved for
football parents well then we fit right
in that's our boy down there number
three oh well nice to meet you I'm Frank
behringer the quarterbacks father my son
lets your son copy off and i need to buy
you a beer after game really sure plus
my wife made some pork sandwiches here
help yourself thank you don't need to
thank me you're part of the club now
your kids a football player they'll
butch up you're starting to cry
[Music]
[Applause]
that's quite an off-track throws like
you can call us that's because he's 20
they'll price go down the field in the
cage exit point is number 12 let it have
it all and holding them all is number
three Ryan Miller looks like it's not
just about Bill anymore I'm trying to
give him some support we stood where the
place back tonight ooh play Saturday Oh
hold me off Michael moms get the pony
keg and playing poker okay you sound
like funnel Legolas ooh every time you
who i'm not going somewhere and I'm
sorry I didn't bite you but it's just
for the football moms it's not like you
invite me to everything you go to yes
I'd you really that's all you do hey hey
hey Carl I am late Carl help me pick up
some supplies on the way home Linda
Linda Linda man you're a sight for sore
eyes Oh your eyes are sore from the last
woman who pepper-sprayed you you know
tomorrow bill and I are going to lay
some sweet linoleum
their combined you might just catch me
with my shirt off you're so hot you're a
little creepy this is fine line see you
tomorrow don't worry you going thought I
scrap Brian and throw a football around
before dinner you might want to hold off
on that right why is he studying for an
exam he's studying with the cheerleader
what I said he's studying with the
cheerleader I heard you I just wanted to
hear it again you know I'm shocked you
are so sexist that was our daughter up
there with a boy you want me to check on
her wouldn't you Phil all I'm saying is
there shouldn't be a double standard for
Brian I want everything equal in this
house because I care about all my
children equally daddy it's just like
spider in my room good for you you have
a pet okay let's see if you got this see
oh you see hey I
what you guys do it cheering why well I
remember how you said you'd be
supportive of anything I wanted to do
well I want to quit football and become
a cheerleader oh really well that's
cheerleader huh Judy
[Music]
hell are you okay you were right I never
should have gone up there I walked in on
Brian and that cheerleader you know what
they were doing cheering bill you
cheered the first time you made out with
me to how they were cheering rah-rah
jumping around brian wants to quit
football and become a cheerleader Wow
didn't see that one coming oh yeah
Kristen we offer for all and now he
wants to be a cheerleader well look on
the bright side you made my day change
their minds all the time we need to
support them cheerleading really
significant ok I'll see you a trap
remember it's hip step it's just a shame
smsing should may sh**t me sh**t a good
I know what you're gonna say but I tried
football and I didn't like it guys won't
picked on me I got news for you Brian
that might not stop when you start
carrying pom-poms don't the girls use
pom-poms the boys use remedy rags that
you're lending is everything you want
from me I'd be on a team getting
exercise making new friends and you said
it was my choice right right his choice
to be a cheerleader hoping on the squad
tryouts are in two days and if I make it
they're gonna use meeting again just
weekend great that great good for you
okay thanks mom so you're really okay
with this bed yeah whatever you want is
okay with me I'm sure you'd make a good
cheerleader you've always been very ND
thanks dad do the crazy oh and if I make
it guess what I still get a jacket it's
actually more of a sweat events but
there's a megaphone on I love you dad I
love you too
so where's that hot sister-in-law yours
what hot sister-in-law I have is one
that's shrill and needy so is she seeing
anybody yeah I think so don't worry
eventually he'll see her and it'll be
over rebound sweet i'm going to kitchen
and grab the tape sure hey Bill is it
your birthday no why there's a bunch of
cheerleaders in your backyard oh yeah
well I remember scare away the squirrels
okay I'll explain your son doing
cartwheels across the law well that's
really very simple God hates me Ryan
quit the football team now he wants to
be a cheerleader dude that's messed up
do you think it does a pretty good
cartwheel know as a girl sorry so messed
up hair goes Ryan that's gotta hurt hey
girls are open him up sweet hey it's my
ankle honey what happened hurt my ankle
into the trip and you're just twisting
it Judy could he get some ice I'm fine
sashayed where I should have swiveled
put a little scotch on it linking whole
thing is such a stupid idea I'm so glad
to hear you say that don't worry Brian
sometimes you have to try something like
cheerleading to realize just how stupid
it is I make having practice in our
backyard it's just too small sister so
did I all right whatever day look what
we need to do is let him cool down for a
while and when the time is right one of
us will go toss them now
forgot your eyes you know sometimes when
you hurt your ankle you release a
hormone thing that makes you hear things
wrong and I take college-level science
know sometimes when you take
college-level science you release a
hormone yeah you know what should have
been honest Brian I never really liked
the idea you being a cheerleader I
wanted you to play football I tried to
like football because I knew you loved
it I hated it I wasn't good at it the
only good thing was that it made you
happy but I'm not happy about mathletes
or debate club I just wanted us to have
something common me too when I guess
that's not gonna happen you know what we
have in common we both want to have
something in common is that funny
technically it's ironic son this is why
you need it football Ryan penis you
really want to be a cheerleader yes but
not exactly for the reasons I said maybe
we should get your mother no no no no no
in the football team score a touchdown
and all the guys Pat each others butts
Judy I mean is you're a cheerleader you
get to do that with all the girls and
you get to be right there when they're
jumping up and down and its really I
don't know how to explain it that you
don't have to explain it something to
tell me all this in the first place I
didn't think you'd understand oh this I
understand I don't even know if I'm good
enough to be a cheerleader son we're
gonna get you on that squad didn't have
anything um
okay let's try it again people in the
front let me hear you grunt that's not a
crime that's a groan now come on front
with me huh batter that's why was here
let's see the routine again people in
the front let me hear your g*n okay okay
that's not gonna get your butt slapped
by a cheerleader you kind of work it son
don't be afraid to let yourself go what
what got some pretty good news where'd
you learn all this son I'm about to tell
you something that can never be repeated
When I was your age for a very misguided
week I caught a little virus called
disco fever long story short the hustle
may be gone but the feet never forget
and you gave me crap just try to keep up
okay five six seven eight people in the
front let me hear you grunt the people
in the back Jose Veras I give people
people on the move
[Music]
sure that things working oh yeah this is
gonna k*ll them here okay here's the
deal you get the tape when he's really
mean to you when I get it went wrong but
don't want with me sue swarek's I hear
people clap your hands people on the
ground move it all around a miller I
don't just your boy out there he's not
playing today did you get injured yes he
did get interest I am so sorry well you
shouldn't be it was his decision and I'm
proud of him right honey it could be
worse you could be on the map theme is
debating yep just pop uh-huh latin club
no in your bag hey that cute cheerleader
just met brian on the block
[Applause]
you
[Music]
I would have
away cause you max me
[Applause]
01x06 - Still Cheering
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.