[Music]
I'm gonna watch my tiny fourth video
again again we don't have to put the
tape in Tina just listen to daddy's head
because it's always playing in here I
don't hear anything try is Tommy there's
like a whole marching band going on in
there the corned beef sections tuning up
right now I'll watch my video and set
and there it is the music that goes in
your ears and up your spine lift in your
head till the day you die but sweetie
we're watching your video please please
please should never etat her please okay
fine I have a purple no I'm using it
well you're going outside the lines I'm
not going outside the line oh yeah oh my
god oh my hand you first oh you and the
count of three one two three go sh**t a
big baby what kind of example are we set
for Tina where's Tina this always
happens she leaves and we end up
coloring her coloring books and watching
her videos she has the attention span of
a gnat oh look feel the squirrels
dancing Oh
[Applause]
[Music]
what are you doing here yeah I had to
run some errands so I thought I'd come
by so you didn't have kicked for thanks
mom okay since you're here could you
take me and Tiffany to the mall drop us
off for a couple hours and then maybe
take us to mcdonalds or I could take you
to the mall and spank you in front all
your friends I'm gonna go get my stuff
oh hello mrs. Miller hey mrs. Cass are
you look really good for someone who
spends the whole day in a room full of
8th graders I have a good cry at lunch
Oh house Lauren doing in science she's
getting by hey how's Brian now he was a
great science student he's fine but you
never know Lauren could surprise you
yeah they don't usually better news
right who knows you know what they say
sometimes lightning strikes twice that's
actually not what they say Brian can
explain it to you so you ready oh wait
show me around class why because I'm
interested in what you do in class okay
this is where he fist that's the cost
that I watched and that's the magic door
sets me free now come on I'll show you
yeah looks like spun what's all this
stuff over here our class projects while
an alternate energy source wind
generator yeah this Doug creamers funny
how he can build one of those they can't
get himself drole de loop where's your
project oh it's stupid come on the snow
I would see it and a moldy sandwich yeah
who knew I find a science project in the
bottom of my locker on Lauren these
other kids really put an effort into
their project it doesn't seem like you
even tried those kids got their parents
to help them you know I am always here
to help you honey didn't even help me
make the sandwich look we don't ask a
lot but we do after you try your best
what's the point the teacher pretty much
tells me I'll never be as good Brian
Brian was in my honors class Brian got
all a's Brian's gonna be a million
Oh Lauren she just really she said I
mean she was probably just trying to
motivate you you know what we are gonna
go home and I'm gonna help you come up
with a project that's really going to
impress mrs. Cutler all right sure when
she said millionaire did she mean soon
[Music]
Lauren I found another website that had
more detailed instructions on how to
build the tornado simulator according to
this what are you doing oh I'm working
on his sign I thought I'd make it all
glittery and that I thought I could put
something around the edges and maybe add
some more sparkly stickers well that
would be great if the tornado we're
going through vegas let's get back to
the project and we'll do the sign later
as a reward that I finished the project
you did good for you you see with a
little motivation you can achieve
anything does it feel good what the heck
happened here it's my tornado simulator
was a tornado coming through when you
made it pretty good to me well it is
good but it could be great come on let's
show mrs. Cutler what Lauren Miller can
do this is what Warren Miller can do
well this is a good start we need to fix
it up a little bit we'll take some glue
and some tape or we could take it apart
and they do it but that would be like
starting over good idea
hey honey how you doing terrible I just
pulled the worst game of my whole life
uh-huh I come home from a hard night
bowling and drinking with my friends you
don't even pretend to care sorry sweetie
did you drink a lot of beer tonight I
forget it the moments passed what are
you doing it I'm helping lauren build
her tornado simulator why I picked her
up at school today and her science
project was the crappiest one there oh
maybe science isn't her thing well maybe
that's because of us Oh Judy it's
definitely because of us he stunk at
science but in our defense we're very
lazy people who tire easily so we need
to encourage our daughter to do better I
mean I think the reason we were lazy is
because we never had to help Brian or
motivate him to do his homework yeah I
love that little freaking nature
Lawrence teachers already written her
off and it's our fault we should have
been helping her all along so where is
she now I sent her to bed she was
screwing it all up well if you really
want to help her why are you just
slapping it together with cardboard and
tape what are you saying del are you
trying to make a tornado here and if
someone sneeze it on this thing it's
gonna fall apart I need the double
wallet here I'll show you where's the
level i didn't use a level you didn't
use a level
two in the morning you guys are still up
yep almost up is that my project it's
awesome and a great job you should be
very proud she home yet no well maybe
she stayed late after school cuz they
had a big party for her because a
project was so good yeah I feel that
happens live oh you're a cool
instead act cool not act like your
father when you saw Mary Tyler Moore
beer hey guys only Wow usually you just
say that with your eyes hell or in a
little bit with her science project and
she's getting her grade on it today and
we're just a little anxious to see how
she did yeah you were always the way as
at science duty remember the project you
did in junior high I believe the title
was will punching my younger sister
result in her doing my science project
from here oh yeah I got an a on that hey
pretty good got my grades back on my
science project how'd you do uh I mean
how do you do I got me everybody's got
my project was pretty cool to you for
all your help so this mrs. Cutler is she
an easy grader or arrays tough to come
by did she notice that the corners were
mitered you know I don't know I just
kind of got my a and got out of there
I'm gonna go call Tiffany oh you should
be so proud of yourself honey thanks mom
and dad you see that Phil you see how
good she feels about herself she knows
she can do it we got a guy
oh it's so nice to see you guys to
finally taken an interest in junior high
only took a 25 years you have kids I'm
sure you and donor sample 3256 will feel
the same way we do oh and one more thing
mrs. Cutler wants to talk to you guys
tomorrow at school sure thing sweetie
we'll be there no problem you guys are
so busted what are you talking about
come on don't you see Lauren's returning
in moldy bread all semester then all of
a sudden she shows up for the tornado
machine I think the teacher knows you
guys did the project oh my god bill
she's right we are so busted so good you
just had to miter the corners didn't you
I wasn't the only one holding that level
you were there too and I'll rat you out
in a heartbeat I think the two of you
should just go down there and come clean
or you could come up with a plan for us
no outside committed you're going to
push me are you
and I'm going to tell her that if she
doesn't think a thirteen-year-old girl
could build a project like that and she
is under estimating Lauren's potential
which is demeaning and sexist would you
stop playing with that stuff you don't
know what the hell you're doing it could
be dangerous they're not gonna give a
bunch of eighth-graders dangerous
bubbling bubbling bubbling do you think
we're I'm sorry to keep you waiting mr.
and mrs. Miller you have it going long
day I caught two students cheating and
had to give them detention oh I hate
cheaters we talk farm not to cheat a
long time ago you know I'd like to talk
to you about Lauren's project Lauren did
a project that's when all the hammering
and sawing wow you never know what these
kids and their crazy music these days
it's just what I've never seen work like
this from Lauren before how when she
works hard who knows what she can
accomplish exactly which is why I'm
thinking of moving her into my honors
science class really yeah it's a lot
more work but if she did this I know she
can handle it or work well I'm sure
she'll adjust to it but just to be sure
I have to ask you one question did you
get any outside help on this project you
mean from us yeah of course not for
brian paul god no he had nothing to do
with it they can't stand each other
we've done a very poor job of teaching
them to get along my wife works I watch
a lot of TV on that case I owe you an
apology mrs. Miller I might have sold
Lauren a little short sometimes kids do
surprise you thank you for coming by
thank you well we did it we help Lauren
and class that was too hard for and got
her into a class that is much much she's
gonna love on her side ah she's gonna be
thrilled so we're just gonna lie to each
other till it hits the fame all right
cissus crying stop it stop it I'm sorry
there's nothing funny about your sister
being an honor science we want me to
stop anything but you keep saying I'm
done can't believe I have to be a stupid
honors class so lucky hey I was in mrs.
Cutler's honors class right you're not a
geek you're the coolest kid ever to wear
Vulcan ears in their class picture
here's make fun of me but Cutlass honor
science 5 is hard she'll be fine will
help for every step of the way you guys
are gonna help with honors class yes we
are while you're in there you might want
to check for a chest hair Thomas class
it's a class for the smartest people in
the school and your sister is going to
be in it okay both the upstairs
Hey Judy did you know the temperature of
the Earth's core is 4,000 degrees
Celsius or you could wear a chicken on
your back and added cooking like a sack
of have you guys seen my text box from
the library yep they're right here we
use them to build a box you know but I
need them for my report which I have to
finish because I have to get to the
library to meet my lab partner all my
other from work show me to get all this
stuff done oh there's more pressure in
here than the Earth's core which by the
way is 1.4 billion times the atmospheric
pressure oh my god I'm learning your
father and i'll do the volcano in the
paper you go meet your partner at the
library you mean it yes thanks guy
through the best judy judy judy what are
you doing I thought we agreed to build a
stratovolcano that's it that's it oh no
no no this isn't a stratovolcano this is
a shield mounting the best did you even
read the chapter book and you think you
could do a better job there's a plinian
eruption caused massive destruction all
right volcano I'll do the paper but you
better do a good job because Lauren's
great depends on it fine how about a
little less blobbity blobbity little
more type of heat I pity
[Music]
what are you doing here I can lauren up
from school that a camera yeah I wanted
to get a picture of me with my volcanoe
your volcano that is so pathetic let's
see what I got on my paper
mr. and mrs. Miller what are you doing
here uh we came to pick up lauren she
had five third period now oh well she
wanted us to drop by and take a picture
of me with a project I don't know why
why don't you make again Judy a volcano
or there it is a lot of nice project
here nothing that have wiped out a whole
village but they're cute wait a minute
she gotta see on this project what a C
the C stand for congratulations on your
a great not it seems Lauren turned this
into more of an art project she even has
this action figure running away from the
lava oh I suppose you'd have him running
towards a llama well I make it more
about how the volcano actually functions
it functions to scare the crap out of
those villagers I'll I think what she's
trying to say here bill is that it was
the volcano and that's a report together
to see actually it was a combination of
the two I thought the report sort of
rambled on without coming to any kind of
conclusion how could you brief look I'm
sure lauren is still adjusting to
working at this level which is gonna
have to try a little harder on her next
project we gotta do two weeks well we're
gonna have to try a lot harder I don't
have the time I work at the store
starting to suffer the other day the
guys were going on about some new TV
show I had no idea what they were
talking about it oh we gotta help her we
got her into this if she fails out of
this class is gonna be humiliating for
her well I guess we're just gonna have
to dig deep and find some way to do this
come on
so let me get this straight you want me
to help you a warranty preferably
without her knowing are there any rules
in this house anymore yeah yeah yeahs
brush your teeth don't do dr*gs are you
gonna help us or not well well suddenly
Ryan's not just a big geek anymore but
the most important person in this house
Brian don't make us beg or tell all your
friends you're afraid of clowns I'm not
afraid of clowns topic Hey Ya Ya your
cats having kittens you don't know who
the father is your information I'm
pretty sure it's a cabbie who goes by
the name of McDaniel pop art not
important the big news is Lawrence got a
boyfriend I just heard the mall holding
hands with him what but she said she was
at the library with her lab partner and
why would a kid raised in this house
think it's okay to lie quiet are you
sure what huh yes you had that purple
coat on that I got her last Christmas
unless I just got her in trouble in
which case it wasn't her at all no no no
now that i think about it it was a brown
jacket and the girl with the Chinese boy
I'm home from the library she said lying
so how is the library Lauren the library
great did you guys finish those
flashcards for my solar system test oh
yeah we decided not to do those do you
mean you guys promised you'd help me oh
maybe we'll go with you to the library
tomorrow we can check out some books
maybe go to the gap hold hands with a
boy and that's the sh*t I was waiting
for Brian upstairs wait you told on me
nobody patch I'm just gonna go to the
mall right now worry it's not pin yet
today oh hey Lauren I love you want to
explain why you've been lying to us
kiyoshi I've been hanging out with my
lab partner David all week yeah well we
were on to you from the beginning we
were so angry we t*nk that volcano
project of yours I hope you enjoyed the
sea we purposely got you Lauren is angry
as I am I must admit some of this is our
fault if it weren't fresh wouldn't be in
a class it's overwhelming you I think
you should go back to your old class but
I like this class listen why aren't you
doing your homework if you guys are
doing it for me are you sure you're not
stay in this class just because of this
boy David he's really cute Lauren this
shouldn't be about David this should be
about you you're a young smart woman you
should want to work hard to motivate
yourself and achieve your own gold this
is him damn he is jon bon jovi pretty
get there and study wow we did all this
stuff to motivate our daughter all it
took was a cute boy but she is motivated
yeah this hadn't been a complete
accident it would really smack a good
parenting and they said we weren't fit
to bring children into this world
hey where are those people now at my
parents house yeah
01x17 - Still Excelling
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.