05x26 - It's a Small World

[bunniefuu]

(mid-tempo orchestra music)

- [Voice Over] Robert Young

and Jane Wyatt.

With Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray and Lauren Chapin.

In "Father Knows Best".

- Margaret, you'll never know

what this means to all of us.

Being able to count on your help

for the charity luncheonagain this year.

- Well I'll fix the old standby,

potato salad and meatloaf.

- There goes my diet again.

(audience laughing)

Now, all I have to do is find someone to make the coffee.

If we sell as many tickets as we did last year,

we'll need gallons.

- How about Mrs. Wheeler?

- Ever tasted her coffee?

- No.

- You don't take cream and sugar with it,

you take bicarbonate of soda.

(audience laughing)

Maybe I'm wrong Margaret,

but to me real charity is more than

picking up a telephone and giving an order.

It's giving ofyourself, of your time.

It's being able to depend on someone,

someone like you.

- Oh.

- Anyway Margaret, as President of the

Women's Club I'm sure I speak for all of us

when I say thank you.

- You're most welcome.

- Bye.

- [Margaret] Goodbye.

(light happy music)

- [Jim] Margaret!

- Jim, well what are you doing home

in the middle of the morning?

- Close your eyes.

- Why?

- I want to see 'em fly open when I tell you the news.

(audience laughing)

You and I are going to New York!

(audience laughing)

- New York?

- Insurance convention.

I wasn't going to go and then I got this

flyer from the committee, asking me to give a speech.

- Oh Jim, I think it'stoo exciting for words!

- I knew my fame as a joke teller would get around.

I arranged with Mrs. Watkins to stay with the children.

I'll make a reservationat any hotel you like.

Within our budget, that is.

We'll see some shows, look at the tall buildings,

find a small, romantic French cafe for a late snack.

Order some pate de foie gras, beef stew with noodles.

- (Laughs) Well when do we leave?

- The convention starts on Thursday

and lasts through Tuesday.

- You mean next month?

- No honey, this month, this week.

- Jim, it can't, it can't be.

- Oh honey, it may take the Vanderbergers

or the Von Hoosengates longer than two days to pack,

but not the Jim Andersons.

(audience laughing)

- Well you don't understand.

Monday is the annual Woman's Club charity luncheon.

- We'll send them a postcard.

"Hope you're having asgood a time as we are."

(audience laughing)

- No you don't understand at all.

I promised a long time ago

I'd furnish the food for the luncheon.

I can't possibly go back on my word.

- There's an answer to everything Margaret.

All you have to do is think.

Here you are, Akin's Catering Service.

You call, we do the rest.

(audience laughing)

- I can't do it that way.

- Oh honey, Iappreciate your feelings

for wanting to keep your word,

but I think it's someoneelse's turn this year

to furnish the food.

(slow serious music)

Now honestly, which would you rather do?

See the world over a hot stove,

or from the Empire State Building,

with your handsome and charming husband as a guide?

(audience laughing)

- Mother, haven't you called Mrs. Stockdale

about that charity luncheon yet?

- I've been rehearsing what I'd say to her for an hour.

Nothing sounds right.

- You could tell her the truth,

just that you have achance to go to New York

with father, and that somebody else

can make the meatloaf and potato salad.

- I suppose that's the best way.

I want to get out of this gracefully and graciously.

(door bell rings)

- I'll get it.

- Hello? Is Mrs.Stockdale there please?

- Mrs. Stockdale?

- Hello Betty.

- Boy, how's that for service?

- Mrs. Stockdale.

- I can't stay but a minute Margaret

but I had to stop by andtell you the good news.

- You mean the luncheonwas called off?

- My gracious, no. Hello Bud.

- Hi.

- I've just had a phone call from

the mayor himself and he's ordered

tickets to the luncheon.

For the city councilmenand their wives.

- Well that, that, that's wonderful.

- And you know what he said, Margaret?

He said he remembers the magnificent food

you prepared last year and he thinks that

anyone who works as hardfor the club as you do

deserves all thefinancial help possible.

- (Sighs) I thought that would please you.

- Well of course it does.

It's um--

It's just that, um--

- Mother has a chance to go to New York

with father thisweekend Mrs. Stockdale.

- Oh, Betty.

- Dad's gonna be veryunhappy if she doesn't.

- Oh, Margaret.

- Oh I did think someof going Mrs. Stockdale,

ooh, then I realized Ireally wouldn't be able

to see much of Jim.

Well you know how conventions are.

- But mother you said you were gonna--

- He's gonna be quite busy

and I'd be spending most of my time

in a lonely hotel room.

- But, New York.

Oh, I hate to see you miss out on such a trip Margaret.

- Don't give it another thought.

- If I just had a little more time

we could figure out something.

- Maybe some of the other members could--

- No. No it's not necessary.

I prefer to stay here and take care of the luncheon.

- I don't think deep in your hear you do.

You couldn't. But I appreciate the sacrifice.

I'll talk to you about it later Margaret.

Goodbye.

- Bye bye.

- Thank you Bud.

(sad music)

- Oh, that's beautiful.

- There we go.

- Dear--

- Thank you.

- Have you got your ticket?

- Yeah, right here, thank you princess.

(whistling)

- Hmm.

- Daddy, you look handsome.

- Ah, that's good for two presents from New York.

(Kathy laughing)

- Take good care of the family, Bud.

You're the man of the house now.

- Then why do I have topeel all these potatoes?

(Jim laughs)

(car horn honking)

- I'll be right there.

I'm gonna miss you honey.

- Well at least I can talk to you on the phone.

- I'll call you tonight.

(car horn honking)

- Okay, come on kids, let's go.

- Bye.

- Bye dad, have a good time

- Bye dear, have a wonderful time.

- Postcard or something.

(upbeat music)

(telephone ringing)

- Hello. Yes. Jim!

I've been waiting for your call.

- It's good to hear your voice, honey.

How's everything?

- Lonesome.

- With all those potatoes?

(audience laughing)

- Don't remind me.

What's your room like?

- Empty.

- No furniture?

- No you.

(audience laughing)

- Do you have a view?

- Is there a view?

Honey I don't think anyone ever

turns their lights off in New York.

Fifth Avenue's down to the left.

And in the distance I can see the beacon

on the Empire State Building.

Oh and honey listen.

(cars driving and horns honking)

The voice of the big city Margaret.

- Sounds just like Springfield on a Saturday night.

(audience laughing)

- (Laughs) I'm on the nd floor, room .

They have to have seat belts

and air sick pills in the elevators.

(audience laughing)

- Jim?

- Hmm?

- I miss you.

- I miss you too honey.

And I hope all the people at your luncheon get indigestion.

(audience laughing)

- I'll tell them that you said that.

- [Operator] Your three minutes are up,

signal when through please.

- What do I do now Margaret,

I've forgotten what the signal is.

- Just hang up.

- All right. (chuckles)

Good night.

(laughing and crowd singing)

* For he's a jolly good fellow

* For he's a jolly good fellow

* For he's a jolly good fellow

* Which nobody can deny

(crowd applauding)

* For he's a jolly good fellow

* For he's a jolly good fellow

* For he's a jolly good fellow

(knocking on door)

* Which nobody can deny.

- Hello.

(audience laughing)

- Hello.

- My name is Marta Evans.

We're having a little birthday celebration next door.

I thought you mightlike to be a part of it

rather than listen to it secondhand.

- Well, thank you very much,

but (chuckles) I'm just getting ready to turn in.

- Oh come on, nobody goes to sleep this early in New York.

- I appreciate your invitation but--

It isn't that we're strangers, you know.

I know your nameis Jim Anderson,

and that you're from Springfield.

My brother-in-law is Joe Anderson.

In fact it's his birthday party.

- Oh. Yes, I met him today at the meeting.

We're on he same committee.

- He didn't tell me, however,

that you were this handsome.

- Aww (chuckles).

You know Miss Evans, I've been told that before.

Only this morning in fact.

My little girl Kathy said the very same thing.

- And I suppose there's a mother

who goes with the little girl?

- Oh very much so.

I just finished talkingto her on the phone.

There's also a son Bud,he's in high school.

My oldest daughter Betty, she attends college.

- That's the story of my life.

It's really too bad, we're going to have

so much cake left over.

- Oh. Tell Joe I'll see him tomorrow.

And wish him a happy birthday for me.

(crowd chattering and laughing next door)

- Better hurry up andeat your breakfast, Bud.

You'll be late for school.

- You know I had nightmares all night.

- Now who can that be at this time of the morning.

I put your egg in.

- I dreamt I was trappedin the potato salad.

- With your appetite that wasn't any nightmare.

- Are you kidding?

Sometime you try swimming your way

out of a bowl of mayonnaise.

(audience laughing)

- Anyway Margaret, start packing,

you're going to New York.

- Oh now you know I'm not going to

walk out at the last minute.

- If I didn't have this all figured out

I wouldn't want you to go either.

You make your potatosalad and your meatloaf,

which is doing yourshare for the luncheon.

We'll freeze it.

Then on Monday we'll have everything ready.

It's really very simple.

- Well I cuold do that all right,

but who's got a deep freeze that big in Springfield.

- Margaret, who do you suppose would have the biggest

and most expensive and deepest deep freeze in Springfield?

- Mrs. Wheeler!

- Right. And she's the happiest woman in the

Women's Club because as she put it,

she's doing her share for charity.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, I don't know how to thank you.

- Don't thank me, thank Mrs. Wheeler's deep freeze.

(audience laughing)

Come on now, get going,you have things to do,

and have a good time.

- Oh, goodbye!

- [Mrs. Stockdale] Goodbye.

- Betty, Bud! I'm going to New York!

(crowd murmuring)

- May I help you?

- Oh, I'm Margaret Anderson.

My husband is registered here,

I'd like to go up to his room please.

- Are you registered?

- Hardly. I just flew in from Springfield.

- We have several Andersons here,

the convention you know.

What are the initials?

- J.R.

- We have two J. R.s

- I'm Mrs. James R. Anderson.

- Mm-Hmm. James R. Anderson, Springfield.

One moment please.

(telephone dial clicking)

Hello Mr. Brown.

(clears throat) He isn't in right now.

- Oh that's all right, I'll just go right up to his room.

- Oh I'm sorry, we can't let you do that.

- What?

- Rules you know.

We can't let anyone into a room

who isn't registered for that room.

- Well I'm not just anyone, I'm his wife.

- Mrs. Anderson. I'll let you talk to the manager.

- Mrs. Anderson, if you sent a telegram to your husband

saying you were arriving,

surely he would haveleft word authorizing--

- Well, perhaps he hasn't been back

to the hotel to receive it.

- I'm sorry, it'd be in his box if he'd received one.

Believe me Mrs. Anderson, the responsibilities

of a hotel this size are numerous.

As a matter of fact we had a situation just the other day.

A man registered here, his wife arrived

that afternoon demandingto go up to his room.

Well, we discovered he came here in the first place

to get away from her.

(audience laughing)

- I refuse to continue this ridiculous conversation.

Do you have another room available?

- If we haven't onewe'll find one somehow.

(audience laughing)

(slow mellow music)

- That was a very good speech you gave today Jim.

- Thank you Joe.

- You know you missed a real good

birthday party the other night.

- You sent a very attractive invitation.

- Yeah, Marta, my wife's kid sister.

Hey, I got an idea.

- Yeah.

- I've got a couple of extra tickets for a play tonight.

I'll ah, send you the same invitation.

- (Chuckles) Well thanksJoe, but I want to

call home tonight and talk to the family.

I didn't get to last night.

- Now look, Marta's a pretty attractive girl you know.

- No argument there.

(laughing)

- Be right with you, sir.

- Yeah.

- Oh, were are you gonna eat tonight?

- Oh I don't know, in the hotel I guess.

- Well if you like good Italian food,

there's a place right around the

corner from here, Tony's.

- Sounds like a good idea.

- But you better get over there right away,

before the mob.

- Well in that case I might as well go right now,

there's nothing to keep me here.

- Well that's your fault, not mine.

- I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow.

- Yeah.

- Yes, sir.

- Oh, please, Anderson.

- Anderson? James Anderson?

- No, Joe Anderson.

- Yes sir.

- (Sweet orchestral music)

- Front desk please.

Hello? Oh this is Margaret Anderson.

Hasn't my husband come in yet?

Not Joe Anderson, James Anderson.

You think he went out to dinner?

Well where? You don't know?

No, nevermind. I'll leave a note at his door.

(playful music)

- It won't do you any good.

- What?

- I tried too.

(audience laughing)

(slow quiet Italian music)

(laughing)

- Oh, excuse me.

Ah, Buenos Aires Seniorina.

- I'd like a table please.

- A si. You are alone?

- Yes.

- Then I do not know what the world is a coming to.

The nicest a people arealone a by themselves.

Ah. You will have a glass of wine, maybe?

- No thank you, I'll just have a sandwich.

- Sandwich, you can getthat at the supermarket.

(audience laughing)

- Well I'm not very hungry.

- You are not hungry because you eat alone.

Food was meant to be shared with someone.

It is like music.

If there is no one to listen, the violins are wasted.

(audience laughing)

- I know just what you mean.

- I will bring you some anti pasto.

That will make you feel better.

- All right.

- Perdi.

- You, you do not like my food, seniore?

- No the food's wonderful Tony,

I, I'm just not hungry, that's all.

- You are not hungry because you eat alone.

- Could be.

- Hey, seniore, pleaseah, such a lovely lady,

she's alone a too.

- Oh?

- And in New York, when one is alone,

one is very alone.

It is such a big world.

- You're telling me.

- Maybe you would like to meet each other

over the anti pasto.

- No thanks Tony.

- Please a seniore.

Tony's place is a place to be happy.

And a to eat everybody together.

It will ruin my reputation.

- Tony, if it's the lady I think it is

who's dining here, believe me, she won't be alone for long.

- Eh, in Italy love is everything.

In America it is a cup of coffee and a newspaper.

(audience laughing)

- Hey, excuse me please, seniorina,

but uh, there is a gentleman here tonight too.

And he is all alone a too.

- Oh, that's too bad.

- Maybe if a lovely ladylike you could a maybe

a say good evening to a him.

- Oh, well I'mflattered that you think

he might be interested in me Tony,

but, well I'm a married woman with three children.

- But you are alone a still.

- Well my husband is, um, well he's working tonight.

- Oh, well then Iapologize. I apologize.

- And you eat here alone without him.

Ah, and I will bring yousome lamb amalueresto.

A specialty of the house.

(audience laughing)

Please, please a seniore.

I take back what I say about the lady.

She is not alone, she is marriedwith a three little ones.

- Tony I'll let you in on a little secret.

I'm married too, and Ihave three little ones.

(audience laughing)

- I tell you a secret,I got a five a children.

(audience laughing)

- No.

- And I too am a married.

- (Laughs) Well good for you.

- Ah, is a good world.

A fine world.

You have a children,the lady has a children,

I have a children.

And we are all a married.

- Which is a splendid arrangement.

(sighs)

please.

- Yes sir.

- You are Mr. James Anderson?

- Yes.

- I beg your pardon sir, but are you expecting your wife?

- My wife? My wife happens to be over

a thousand miles from here, why?

- I'm certainly glad we followed the rules.

There was a lady here asking for you.

Very attractive. She insisted we let her into your room.

- Well I think I know the lady,

she's pretty persistent,I'll say that.

- Jim.

- Hmm?

Oh.

- Glad I caught you.

Yeah.

Well this telegram must be for you,

they put it in my box by mistake.

- Oh thank you Joe.

- Well, see you around.

- Yeah.

(high pitch tone)

(audience laughing)

- That lady you were talking about,

my wife. Where did she go?

Where is she?

- You said.

- I said where is she?

- I think she went out to get a bite to eat.

(audience laughing)

(playful music)

- Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Honey!

(audience laughing)

(Jim laughing)

- Oh.

- Sometimes I wish I'd never left the farm.

(audience laughing)

- This calls for a celebration.

What is your pleasure madame?

- How about that French bistro with noodles you promised?

- I know just the place,

only don't be surprisedif the noodles

taste like anti pasto.

(audience laughing)

- Oh.

- I must have been sitting there.

- Tony, get out the anti pasto.

- Presta. Terrible.

- Well you should have told me

the gentleman was so handsome.

- He's a not handsome, he's a wolf.

A married wolf.

And I... am a homewrecker.

- If you would have told me the lady was so beautiful.

- What about the little ones?

- I thought you wanted us to get together?

- Not when you're both married to someone

who's not married to you.

- Well you see we discoveredwe have a great deal in common.

- She has three children.

- And he has three children.

- And we both come from the same town.

- And we're both strangers in New York.

- And we both love Italian food.

- With music.

- So you see Tony, it's not such a big world after all.

It's a small, wonderful world.

(audience laughing and clapping)

(mid-tempo orchestra music)