06x07 - First Disillusionment (Flashback)

[bunniefuu]

(dramatic orchestral music)

- [Narrator] Robert Young,

and Jane Wyatt

with Elinor Donahue,

Billy Gray,

and Lauren Chapin,

in "Father Knows Best".

(light orchestral music)

- Oh it can't be that difficult.

Now you're supposed to take a proverb and do what?

- Write a story illustrating it.

- Alright, how about

"Don't count your chickens before they're hatched"?

- I don't want to write about chickens.

- You wouldn't be.

You'd write a story showing how foolish it is

to bank on something you don't really have.

- No good.

- I'll give you a storyillustrating a proverb.

A true story about me.

- I wouldn't dare hand that in.

- That's kind of rough.

- What's your proverb?

- Honesty is the best policy.

- That's too corny.

- Well maybe so but my story isn't.

Now you want to hear it or don't you?

- Okay.

But it won't work.

- Right. (audience laughing)

Start taking notes.

Five years ago,

my brother.

- You don't have a brother.

- Of course not, Dopey.

You do.

I'm dictating this as you'd write it.

(audience laughing)

Five years ago, my brother was young,

eager,

stupid.

(audience laughing)

No no no, change that to naive.

Sounds better.

- How do you spell naive?

- N ....

Go back to stupid.

(audience laughing)

He applied for a job

in the sporting goods department at Gormans.

The personnel manager, Mr. Stagg,

who seemed like a very nice guy,

gave an application to fill out,

which he started to do that night.

(dramatic harp music)

What color would you say my eyes are?

Steel blue?

- Seaweed green, I'd say.

And hurry up with that silly thing.

You're supposed to be drying the dishes.

- It's not a silly thing.

Position applying for.

How do you spell stockroom boy?

- How do you expect to hold down a job

if you can't even spell it.

- They're not hiring me to spell.

They're hiring me to work.

- Who's hiring who to what?

- Hi Dad.

Guess what, I'm gonna go to work.

- At last.

I've been waiting along time for this day.

- Dad this job is the greatest, no kidding.

I'm gonna handle all the sports stuff

in the stockroom at Gormans.

Footballs, baseballs,

old fishing rods, g*ns,

all day long.

- What about school?

- Well it'll be after school and Saturdays

until vacation and then full time.

Pretty crazy huh?

- Yeah.

How much do you have to pay 'em for a job like that?

- Well they're gonna pay me.

- No.

Like that.

- [Margaret] Hello dear.

- Honey, sorry I'm late.

Well what do you think of our young business man here?

- Well I just hope he doesn't have to lift a lot of

heavy boxes and crates.

- Well gee mom, I can handle it.

Besides, now I can get us anything we want wholesale.

Volleyballs, sweat-socks, track shoes, fish nets.

- That's good.

Because I don't have a decent pair

of track shoes to my name.

(audience laughing)

- What do we have here an application?

- Oh don't take that, I want to serve some to your father.

- But he doesn't like tuna.

- Sh, I'll tell him its cream chicken.

- They certainly want to know all about you.

- Yeah, I don't even know what to put down here.

Name last three employers,

state salary received.

I haven't had any real jobs.

- You had your paper route.

- Yeah but that's no good experience for a store job.

I'd better put down I worked at Maxwell Hardware,

they have sporting goods there.

State salary.

a week.

I better make it .

They don't want no little old cheap guy.

(audience laughing)

- Son, you never workedat Maxwell Hardware,

you can't just put downthings that aren't true.

- Well, you see dad,

when you fill out applications,

you gotta put stuff like that down to make it look good.

- Oh do you?

- Yeah.

You see dad, that's the way you get jobs.

- Well you may get them that way,

but you're certainly not gonna keep them that way.

Now you erase all that stuff about Maxwell Hardware.

- Huh?

- Go on, erase it.

- But dad.

- Bud, as long as you're entering the business world,

you may as well learn somethingabout its basic rules.

And the first one is honesty.

- Yeah, I know that stuff.

- A dishonest man may make a temporary k*lling,

but it catches up with him sooner or later.

In order to stay in business

you have to be someone that everyone can rely on.

- You better sit down and eat this while it's hot.

- Okay.

Bud, the basic rules ...

- It's your favorite dish, cream chicken.

- Fine.

Bud, here are the thingsyou have to remember.

Work hard, do your best,

learn everything you possibly can about your job.

And above all, be honest.

Honesty is stillthe best policy.

Do you understand?

- Yeah.

- Alright.

And erase all that phony stuff and put down the truth.

- Okay.

- Margaret, I need a fork.

- [Margaret] Oh, coming.

- I just hope this doesn't

hurt my chances of getting the job.

- Hurt your chances?

Bud, don't you understand this is the very thing

that will help you get it?

What have I just been telling you?

- Yeah, sure Dad.

- Where does he pick up ideas like this?

Certainly not from me.

- I think I know where.

I'd better confess.

That's not chicken at all.

It's tuna.

(playful music)

(audience laughing)

- So my brother filled out the application,

taking the big risk of doing it honestly.

He needed his father's signature on that application.

(audience laughing)

And he found him upstairs reading a bedtime story.

(dreamy harp music)

- And the walrus said thank you very kindly ma'am.

- Dad. - And he swam away.

- Once again, a happy, well adjusted walrus.

- Dad.- Read it again, Daddy.

- Again?

I read it three times.

- Well I wasn't paying any attention.

(audience laughing) - Oh.

- Dad, you gotta sign this application too.

- Oh, alright.

- I just put down the truth like you said.

I feel better about it.

- Sure you do.

You see Bud, in businesses as in life,

if you stick to the rules,

over the long haul.

- Yeah, I know dad.

No more lectures.

(audience laughing)

- Okay.

Sorry old man.

How much chance you think you have of getting this job?

- I've got it, practically.

Mr. Stagg, he's the employment manager,

said that this application is just routine red tape.

He's a swell guy.

- Fine, son.

Well, your first job.

What time do you have to be there?

- : a.m., sharp.

- Say, I've got an idea.

When you get through with Mr. Stagg,

why don't you meet me at Sarnos,

in the men's grill.

We'll have lunch together,

sort of a celebration.

- Gee dad, do you really mean that?

- Sure I do.

As long as you're a business man,

you might as well get used to hobnobbing with 'em.

(audience laughing)

So I'll see you at noon old man.

And as for you, goodnight.

- Gee, you get to eat lunch,

and all I get to do is go to sleep.

(audience laughing)

- Tell you what.

You go to sleep like a good little girl

and I'll bring you homesomething from my store,

like a ...

- A punching bag?

- A punching bag?

Okay, a punching bag.

(playful orchestral music)

- Hi Bud.

- Oh hi Eddie.

What are you doing here?

- Oh nothing.

What are you doing?

- What are you doing here?

- Trying to get a job, stockroom boy.

- Yeah?

- You ought to see all the junk they make you fill out.

Look here, I put down threeyears experience as a stock-boy

at the Hillsborough Sports shop.

- You never lived in Hillsborough.

- I never was a stock-boy.

So what?

Look here, two years experience as a ...

Hi, Mr. Stagg.

I'm Eddie Wardlow.

Got it all filled out.

(door closing)

(playful orchestral music)

- Okay Mr. Stagg.

Thanks a lot.

- That's alright Eddie.

- See you around guy.

- Mr. Stagg.

I've got it.

I was here before Eddie but ...

- Yes, yes.

This is fine Bud.

I'll file it and the minute something

comes up in the future,I'll let you know.

- In the future?

But what about the job?

Stockroom boy?

- Well bud, I'm sorry, but that position has been filled.

- But yesterday you said ...

Well who got it?

Eddie Wardlow?

- Yes, you see, Eddie's had quite a bit of experience.

Stockroom boy over at Hillsborough store.

And I see here by your application that you haven't had any.

But, I'll keep you in mind if anything comes up Bud.

Good luck boy.

(melancholy orchestral music)

- Bud, Bud.

Over here.

I was afraid you weren't gonna make it.

How did it go?

Give me all the details.

Hiya Frank.

Future president of Gormans.

(audience laughing)

I was telling Frank Conway all about you this morning.

Well hurry up son, tell me all about it.

When do you start?

How much do you make?

- Well well.

Is this the big business man?

- This is the one.

What do you think, Gus?

You're a judge of character.

Will he make the grade?

- Well, if he's like his pop, he got nothing to worry about.

- (laughing) You hear that son?

We'd better order.

I have to get back to work.

What do you suggest Gus?

We want the very best today.

- [Gus] Oh the pot roast is very good.

- You know you're eligible for the business man's lunch now.

(audience laughing)

What do you think Bud?

Pot roast?

- I'm not very hungry.

- Take your time.

I'll be back.

- Well what's the trouble Bud?

Something go wrong?

- All that stuff you told me that ...

Business rules and honesty goop.

It's all a bunk.

- Bud, Bud.

(dramatic orchestral music)

- So this disillusioned,

broken,

deluded,

deceived brother of mine

retreated into the solitude of his room.

And his broken dreams.

Yeah.

Read that last sentence back to me.

- Bud went to his room.

(audience laughing)

- Hey look, I'm not gonna waste these

two dollar adjectives if you're not gonna use 'em.

(audience laughing)

- Just keep going.

This is getting interesting.

(audience laughing)

- Well, now let's see.

His worried father triedto smooth things over

but to no avail,

which he reported to his worried wife.

(dramatic harp music)

- No, I didn't get anywhere with him.

He doesn't want to haveanything to do with me.

- Oh it seems too bad that Eddie Wardlow

got the job after putting down all those lies.

- And Bud's pretty mad at ignorant old me

for not letting him dothe same sort of thing.

- Well I hope this doesn't turn him into

an unbelieving cynic.

- There's no telling how he'll react.

You know it is pretty rough

when you bump up against that first disillusionment.

When you suddenly discover that the adult world

is a few shabby scenes.

- Ouch, cut it out Bud.

Mommy save me, Daddy, help!

(audience laughing)

- Kids, be careful.

Oh Kathy, I wish you'd come downstairs more quietly.

- Well gee Daddy, Bud'sgonna mow me down.

(audience laughing)

- He isn't, justleave him alone.

- I didn't do anything.

I just asked himif he brought me

my punching bag from Gormans.

And he threw a shoe at me.

(audience laughing)

- Well, he's had a pretty rough day.

You just go upstairs and go to bed

and don't bother him.

- Oh, okay.

- That a girl.

(audience laughing)

And don't retaliate.

- I'm not.

I'm just gonna slug him.

(audience laughing)

(footsteps thumping)

- Father.

Do you know anything about the Smoot-Hawley Tariff bill?

- Well, I ...

- I'm supposed to hand in a paper on Monday

and there wasn't anything in the library on it.

Now what do I do?

- Well, I ...

- Jenny has a paper she wrote on it.

She said I could hand that in.

But, well that seems just like cheating.

What do you think, Father?

- Well, I ...

- That's exactly what I think.

I could change it a little, but ...

- When are you gonna wise up, sis?

- Huh?

- Take the paper, copy it.

Get smart, learn a little about life.

- Oh poo, what do you know about life?

- Plenty, I've been around.

Let me give you some advice kid.

- Yes Grandpa?

(audience laughing)

- Take what you can get, see kid?

And it don't matter how you get it.

And don't let anybody else

put any other fool ideas in your head.

- Thank you kindly.

Now go to bed sonny, and don't fall out of your crib.

(audience laughing)

- Okay, okay.

Go along with this big honesty deal

and see where it gets ya.

But just don't say I didn't warn you.

- I was afraid he'd react this way.

We've got work to do.

See kid?

(dramatic harp music) (audience laughing)

- Soured on life.

My brother's only thought now

was to get even with that crook, Eddie Wardlow.

But how?

And then Bud's pal, Joe Phillips,

talked Bud into writingMr. Stagg a letter,

undermining Eddie, hoping he'd fire him.

- But wouldn't Mr. Stagg know that you wrote the letter?

- No.

Joe, said we'd sign the name of the man

Eddie claimed he workedfor in Hillsborough.

But actually, there was no such guy.

So anyway we ...

That is,

(audience laughing)

Bud and Joe went into the den and started writing.

(dramatic harp music)

- Hey, maybe this will help us.

It tells how to write all kinds of letters.

- Yeah, let's see that.

- Letter congratulating the young lady on her marriage.

(audience laughing)

"Dear Julia ..."

- I don't want to get married,

I want to get a guy fired.

(audience laughing)

Letter.

- "Mister's Callus and Clitherow, Boston.

"Sir, please send me blank."

- These are no good.

(audience laughing)

- Hey how 'bout that one?

Registering a complaint.

- Yeah, let's see that.

April th, .

"Dear ..."

These are kind of old aren't they?

- So what, stuff like this doesn't change,

go on what's it say?

- "Dear Marty,

"it is with pain I write to you in aught that can".

Aught, what does aught mean?

- Zero, nothing, blank.

- That's Eddie alright.

(audience laughing)

- "It is with pain I write to you in aught

"that can seem like a strain of reproach.

"But I must confess, I was vexed

"with your flirtatious conduct

"towards Mr. Watson last night."

Mr. Watson?

(audience laughing)

- Go on, this is interesting.

- Yeah, but it ain't helping us any.

- Wait, that first part about the pain.

That sounded good, use that.

It wasn't bad.

- Read it to me.

- "Dear Marty, it is with."

- Not Marty you dope.

(audience laughing)

"It is with pain I write you in aught

"that can seem like a strain of reproach."

- [Bud] Not so fast.

- But I confess, Eddie Wardlow's a crook.

(audience laughing)

- Hey, what's going on in here?

- Oh hi mom, we're not doing anything.

- School work.

- Yeah, school work.

- Well just what are you studying?

Old English?

(audience laughing)

- Yeah, same old english.

(audience laughing)

- What does Eddie Wardlow have to do with it?

- Well he's ...

- Well, we're supposed to write

a theme about a chum of ours.

Describe him and all, you know.

- I'm sure it'll be quite a vivid description.

(audience laughing)

When you're finished, I'd be glad to go over it

and correct the punctuation.

(audience laughing)

(playful music)

- Think she suspects anything?

- I don't know, but we better hurry up

and get that letter out to the mailman.

- [Bud] Coast is clear.

Go on Joe.

(audience laughing)

- Mommy.

Look mommy, I got a B plus.

- Well that's fine,

but I can't look at it right this minute.

- We had to write about thestrangest character we ever met.

So I wrote about Bud.

(audience laughing)

- You shouldn't write things about your brother.

- I didn't say anything bad.

I just said he was kind of goofy.

(audience laughing)

You know he eats peanut butter and banana sandwiches?

(audience laughing)

Mommy, you're not listening.

- Yes I am.

Angel, I'll be right back

and then I'll listen to the whole thing.

(playful orchestral music)

- I wonder if wegot any bananas.

That might be good.

(audience laughing)

(audience laughing)

- Good afternoon Mrs. Anderson, it's a nice day.

I reckon you want this mailed.

- Well I really.

- Well you haven't gotenough postage on here.

One penny short.

- How lucky.

(audience laughing)

Oh, I mean, well thanks.

(playful orchestral music)

- Margaret, I'm home.

(audience laughing)

Oh, hi honey.

- Jim, I want you to look at this.

Oh I'm ashamed of myselffor distrusting Bud

and I know it's wrong to interfere with ...

- What are you talking about?

- Read this.

Bud wrote it with Joe's help.

Thank goodness there wasn't enough postage on it.

- "It's with pain Iwrite to you in aught."

Where'd he get this archaic language?

- Oh from a book.

Read the rest of it.

- "That can seem like a strain of reproach,

"but feel it my duty to advice you

(audience laughing)

"regards a boy who's name I shan't mention

"because I do not want

"to hurt his mother, Mrs. Wardlow."

(audience laughing)

Oh get this closing.

"Wouldn't say anything against him,

"and I hope you can keep him out of jail."

(audience laughing)

- Well it is funny but,

well I never thought that Bud

would resort to a thing like this.

- Well here's the funny part.

They are gonna fire Eddie.

- What?

- Eddie's so impossiblethey can't use him.

So now Bud has a chance for the job.

- Well after this letter

I don't think hedeserves another chance.

I think you ought to confront him with it

and explain that that's not the way you go about.

- No, he doesn't want any more lectures from me, right now.

Know what though?

Maybe we ought to let Bud think this letter was mailed.

Let him think it worked.

Let him find out about Eddie being fired and then ...

See what happens.

- But Jim.

If Bud does get the job,

why he'd be more convinced than ever that,

well that dishonesty is the answer.

- No, I doubt that.

I know at times it seems our training

is going in one hole of his head and out another but

it's rattling around in there someplace.

It'll show itself.

His conscience won't let him take the job.

(playful music)

I hope.

- Hey Bud, hold it.

(footsteps approaching)

It worked, it worked!

- What?

- The job, I just talked to Eddie, they gave him the sack.

- Well how do you like that?

Gee it sure worked fast.

Did he mention a letter?

- No, I don't think he knew what hit him.

(audience laughing)

- Well I gotta go down and see Mr. Stagg.

- Yeah before somebody else aces you out.

- You know it's a funny thing.

My old man, he's lived a long life

and worked hard, means well.

But I've learned more in a half a week

than he has in years.

(audience laughing)

- They aren't toosmart, that's for sure.

- I want to tell you a few things in confidence.

Eddie was not very dependable.

We couldn't exactly trust him in small ways, you know.

- Yes, I know.

- Oh, I'm not implying that he'd take things

or anything like that, understand.

But, well in matters of ...

- Like in the letter?

- Yes, like in ...

What letter?

(audience laughing)- Didn't you get it yet?

- Or I mean.

- Was I supposedto get a letter?

- No, not that I know of.

I must have been thinking of something else.

- For instance now,

Eddie said some verynasty things about you.

And I don't like that Bud.

Oh thank you Myra.

Well anyway, we startedto have our doubts

after we checked on Eddie's application

and found out that he'dmade most of it up.

Now you can figure that if a boy is deceitful in one thing,

he's going to be deceitful in others.

Now, you didn't do that.

You put down the truth.

Now you can see whyI've told you all this.

But remember,

I don't want it to go any further than this.

- Could I just sort of stick around

and clean up the office for ya?

- Oh no no.

You just be here Monday after school

and bring that enthusiasm with you.

(audience laughing)

- Gee I'm sorry, here I'll pick 'em up for you.

- Oh no no no, that won't be necessary.

You don't start working until Monday.

(audience laughing)

(playful orchestral music)

- [Mr. Stagg Voiceover]I want to tell you

a few things in confidence.

Eddie said some verynasty things about you.

And I don't like that Bud.

You put down the truth.

(suspenseful music)

- Dad, Dad,

Dad, are you asleep?

- Somebody call me?

That you Bud?

- I gotta talk to you Dad.

- Well sure son.

Something wrong?

- Yeah, sort of.

I did a dumb thing.

- I guess we all do at times.

- But this is the worst.

Mr. Stagg is gonna get

a certain letter.

When he reads it he'll know who wrote it.

And I'll lose my job.

But that isn't the worst.

The worst is that, he'll know what a no-good nothing I am.

A knifer-in-the-back or

menace to society.

- You mean this one, menace?

- Where did you get this?

- It was returned, not enough postage.

- Oh man.

Dad, don't ever read this.

- I've read it.

- You have?

Pretty cheap trick huh.

- Mm-Hmm.

- I don't know why I ever.

I sure am a stupid goof ain't I?

- Yeah.

And the day you realize that,

that's the beginning of wisdom.

(dramatic harp music)

- That's a beautiful story Bud.

Was it really the beginning of wisdom for you?

- Yep.

Nobody could ever talk me into

writing another letter like that.

Or writing anything and signingsomebody else's name to it.

Never.

- Oh well, it's beautiful.

And I could never write it as beautifully as you've told it.

So perfect.

Would you mind typing it up?

In those exact wonderful words?

- Well sure I'd be glad to.

- Just put my name in the upper right hand corner.

- No sir.

Nobody could ever talk me

into writing anything again under somebody else's name.

Never.

By K-A-T

(audience laughing and clapping)

(dramatic orchestral music)