[Music]
hey what are you doing what's it look
like I'm at the end of dishwasher
without being asked so I don't want you
to tell me I never do anything around
here did you run the dishwasher yeah
Brian's here who's it Sarah Henley Oh
real funny Becca you want to pretend you
to homecoming queen you got to sound a
lot more stuck up what ha3 fair I'm
Lauren and I brain sisterís okay I'll
get him crying phone the homecoming
queen wants to talk to Brian oh no he's
not helping a design a dress or
something hello okay Sarah yeah the
party's tonight at Andy Howard's it's
gonna be mad crazy what's mad crazy not
quite twisted but better than Giggy
alright a/c unit your friends were Sarah
Henry yeah she's a sweet kid when we
become friends since I started hanging
with a varsity basketball team when you
say hanging you're talking about your
underwear from the flagpole and you end
up right no I'm the team statistician
and they like having me around and
what's this party you're going to that's
no big deal some seniors having some
people over so bright you know what
would be mad creepy you're not going to
the party
listen Brian we're really happy that
you're making new friends with Jeremy
it's awesome are you sure you're ready
for a senior party yeah Warren well just
that you know it's an older crowd and
they're going to be doing older activity
by that she means smoking and boozing
and you know we can't condone that guys
I promise I would never drink I've seen
it ill effects call teaching by example
and you're welcome the crime this is a
big decision and your father and I need
to discuss it before we let you go I
understand this is great okay a lot of
concerns here's some pros here's some
cons discuss discuss discuss or tense
moment okay okay you're right Brian
should go to the party no I really think
we should talk about this so you sure
he's ready come on Judy we need to let
him experience these things now so he
doesn't go buckwild later what's that
mean when Brian goes to college do you
want him to be the kid who goes to his
first keg party gets smashed streaks
through the dorms and wakes up naked and
handcuffed to the bike rack in the quad
that's crazy Judy it can happen to a guy
twice well if you think Brian is ready
then we'll let him go Oh some sweat a
little bit you know we don't want him to
think that this was an easy decision all
right all right Billy
back
[Applause]
[Music]
come on bold let's see some offense the
last three games they've only been
sh**ting thirty percent from the floor I
mean Pippins got a sweet outside sh*t
Michael just put him in this Pippins off
his game tonight wait wait my son just
had Tiffin and he wasn't talking about
musical theatre I've dreamt about this
day son since I've been doing stats for
the team I've really gotten into
basketball I mean if you think about it
it's all about mass and sis crying
crying it's basketball don't talk it up
pull up oh great we're on day 4 of an
online wrist marathon wish me and my tin
soldiers good luck hopefully those ten
fingers won't be as prom date this year
actually the party he went to the other
night he told me he was talking to a
blond girl from the swim team who was
pretty nice you know what that means
Judy well I'm guessing with Brian that
means she's blonde she swims and she's
nice oh yeah no it was fun I had a great
time too yeah I'll totally call you okay
you big freak Linda what are you doing
oh just had the worst date this guy's
Pete was so needy and couldn't stop
hanging on me staring at me it's like he
wants to suffocate me well in vitamin we
have pillows
hello what stop what you're doing Brian
we need you to come pick us up the whole
team's been out party hey hey hey kid
I'm not Brian Yeah right and I'm not
drunk the tacos sale on the corner of
homestead and nubile I feel the same way
about tacos but I'm not picking you up
oh come on dude you promised besides
it's puked on my car keys and now the BP
thing won't work well you know what does
work my hanging up ething adios I just a
drunk basketball players asking Brian
for a ride home well bill how are those
boys gonna get home we can't even strand
it well they're expecting Brian to pick
them up let's call him is it becames
well call information what's up Kings
last me a keen haha Balu a bop-bam-boo
liar look you guys should try and do
something I waste these kids trying to
rouse himself home oh maybe I should oh
whoa wait you can't go these guys think
Brian's cool he imagine how it'll look
when his mommy turns up to get him well
I won't tell them that I'm his mom I'll
tell mom is cousin his cool cousin from
California in tether I'll go these guys
are high school athletes they'll feel
more comfortable with one of their own
you can be Heather when I get back by
the way Heather is blonde and anxious to
learn
hey how long we've been out Bryan got
old and puffy Brian couldn't make it
tonight so he sent his dad what a wood
no no no I'm not his dad I'm Brian's
cousin stats in Hawaii really that's
right he lives there solves crime with
his old Nam buddies their short shorts
and has a sweet mustache column magnum
p.i sounds like that show magnum p.i
little bit hey we're gonna have to give
you tell on Monday we're begging out on
us I'm sorry did you just call Brian
cheese yeah that's his nickname who
actually his nickname is Jesus our
helper monkey yg because these are
Butler duty does everything we tell them
to he's our designated driver he goes on
berger runs he does our homework
babysits my son so the only reason you
hang out with brian is so he can be your
errand boy and chauffeur not like we
make him wear a little hat dude yeah we
do remember sorry i thought i saw a
weasel oh my place is at the end of the
block geez easily turn the motor off a
few houses in my parents don't hear miss
man you got it buddy thank you
hope you don't wake up your parents we
are going to do that my house are you
okay good I'm five doors down oh the
house that used to have the mailbox in
front you hold our boys
joy how will I think you should give him
a call not we only want to one day okay
come right oh oh Susan and accounting
once the grout was pizza needy guy oh
great off the hook maybe lots of
attention which I do not want ooh lots
of compliments which hello I do not need
maybe I should just give him a call and
give him a bit of a heads up but I know
that Susan's coming back stabber so now
you want to come because someone else
wants him huh Debbie where'd that
Susan's pretty desperate o'kiku Harland
is born a little nutty over that guy huh
yeah she deserves better she's good
people honey I made pot roast for dinner
I'm not hungry all right now you're
freaking me out I'm about Brian too much
Gotti come on babe Judy I thought my son
was cool now it turns out he's nothing
but an errand boy you can't just slap a
pot roast on that wound Judy I was baby
onions well if it makes you feel any
better I would have done exactly what
you did to those boys really except I
would have waited till they got into the
front of the car and chased him down to
see the fear and their little basketball
Facebook were messing my bride not so
Jackie now are you the basketball team
won't talk to me anymore and they booted
me from practice and I owe it all to my
cousin way to go Magnum
wait crying sit down there's something
that we need to talk to you about now it
might not be easy to hear this but it's
something that your father found out
last night those basketball players
they're not your friends it's true they
only let you hang out with them because
they think of you as their errand boy
they don't respect you they make fun of
you duh I know that makes fun of me
that's what they do they make fun of
everybody they call me a G so that they
call Greg the missing link and they call
Steve crotch rot I think I'm ahead are
you sure you want to hang out with
people who treat their friends like
garbage yes okay I get to cut in line at
lunch I sit at the cool table the hot
senior girls talk to me and now because
you busted in the whole school is
calling me knock damn strip hop that bad
what's up narc don't call your brother's
act what if I yell people are gonna hate
me too all right but not at home just at
school in front of lowes I'm wasting my
entire Friday night watching Brian sit
on a bench in whose aesthetic a punk and
Bryan into a rough time this family
supports each other when okay come to
New were trying Gary's Brian yeah
there's some other to put the club bored
sitting in her seat I hope they didn't
demote him to what what team job is
lower than doing stats are very own
[Applause]
maxime is just like Brian
oh my god it is Brian crying the enzian
earth the obstacle team in rehab maybe I
should go down there and see how he's
holding up they want me to say oh let
him know that we're still proud of him
and nothing he could do could change
things that may be back dude it's narcs
cousin what do you want narcs cousin I'm
just looking for Brian he's not here
listen guys I just wanted to say I'm
sorry about getting me in trouble with
you folks that was not cool I was just a
little bent out of shape when I heard
you making fun of Brian it's a big deal
we were just kidding around I know that
now I guess I just got a little
overprotective when it comes to him that
makes sense with his dad being in Hawaii
you know Brian loved being the
statistician and he's been really down
since you started treating him like a
narc I'm the not not him maybe it was a
little harsh bus to him down to mascot
it was a great statistician really
gentle with my baby too it's not too
late guys I'm sure he'd love to get back
on the team all you gotta do is ask him
I don't know oh well well boys the big
game against Hancock magnet schools
coming up right yeah and isn't it
tradition to prank those stuck-up punks
well I think Brian's great big getaway
van can come in pretty handy when you
say putting the John Hancock statue and
address a good idea but I've got the
perfect dress
ok let's it up narcs cousins right now
on narc is back to being jeez and I'm
accepting submissions for a new nickname
for kyle is the holdup sorry coach Bill
Miller class of 82 you got yourself a
real bunch of hell raisers here uh-huh
one of my boys up to now oh just talking
about what kind of prank might be on top
before the big Hancock game is that
right Frank Frank if you heard anything
after the fiasco last year this school
cannot afford hip surgery for another
girl I'm sorry I don't know glad you
told me everyone thank mr. Miller here
for bringing this to my attention hey I
want you to think about this Frank what
you're doing 200 gut busters after the
game 200 gut busters now it's three okay
we got a game to win let's go you suck
all right let's it off Jesus nickname is
still narc and narcs cousins new
nickname is suck later suck later
why I was just trying to help are you
mad yeah but you're smiling
okay I still haven't heard from Pete
I've left by 10 messages I even for a
little note on his car you went to his
house oh no it's parked outside of that
Susan's place friend I set her up
with him and how she pay me back by
dating him I swirling herself at him
Judy so his car was parked as I never
half all night long release until
Juliana I know I still think for a while
oh you have been burning the crazy
candle at both ends done may break my
bones but you turned your son into a
mascot hey hey don't be too hard on bill
he was only trying to get Brian back
with the cool crowd screwed it up so bad
you want to cry hello is he okay yeah
we'll be right there thank you that's a
coach who wants to talk to us after
practice something about Brian okay I'll
look after Tina you and suck should go
down there how do you know that calling
me that what's up suck
I have to say I'm very disappointed I'd
expect this kind of behavior from Brian
I didn't do anything yeah we believe you
son what did he do I'd rather not say in
front of the fairer sex Oh her you got
to be kidding me come on coach
apparently you guys didn't understand
when I said no pranks against Hancock
magnet school because last night someone
vandalized Hancock sign today I found
this in Bryan murmurs locker why would
he just steal the haan from the Hancock
magnet did you do that for me to go na
Burke not rule Oh Miller you looking at
a month's detention and the rest of you
clowns I want a hundred commando squats
hey you know just got to do them too and
counting for us he's our statistician I
am you bet you are all right get crackin
ladies so how'd you get up there to get
to that side like what are you
spider-man hey that's a good nickname
all right listen up Jeeves formally narc
formally Jeeves is now spider-man man
spider-man spiderman spiderman spiderman
spiderman spiderman spiderman spiderman
spiderman and even got the pajamas
well Judy you were right Brian did
sorted out by himself you know that was
a hell of a prank only a true Miller man
could have pulled that off I did it what
someone had to save the kids rep so last
night I went to hancock high with a
hacksaw caught up the letters and put
them in Brian's locker I love you so
much you're a great mom you're a
wonderful wife you're a criminal stop
it's just a mr. me
[Music]
what are you doing with that the new
mascots going to come by today and pick
it up
[Laughter]
I'll get it dan I just couldn't resist
could you I'm stock is
[Music]
02x13 - Still Narcing
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.