[Music]
great hanging out with you Linda but it
was a little rude of you to be on the
phone with your boyfriend the entire
time I know and I mean it will really
hurt my feelings no I should get going
Perry yeah judy has that look on her
face well here I'll show you sorry
there's so much to talk about when you
have a fiance you know I yeah and a ring
as soon as he sells his car Oh reminds
me I can't go to the movies with you
tomorrow oh really now I know Perry and
I are picking out wedding invitations
I'm picking out wedding invitations
because I up a fight but I am so happy
that you finally found someone but don't
forget the rest your family's been kind
of blow me off a lot lately yeah I hear
you well good because I'm glad no no the
reception is good
Perry you know what this is this is kind
of rude we should probably cut this
short thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
sorry it took me so long my son keeps
changing the place where he hides his
money there you go buddy yeah maybe next
time you'll find out where he hides his
tips honey my hands are folks you flip
off the pizza guy for me that's weird
last time I checked Brian's lock box
there was a couple of hundred bucks in
here weren't you have any idea which
brother's been doing with alts money
apparently not hiding him as well I hide
mine don't have money no done to her
mattress no hi guys Mary our brain won't
even Jesus all your money I think a
better question would be what are you
doing with all I know come on there was
more than 200 bucks in here the other
day I earned that money I can spin it
any way I want it Brian this is for your
college fund you can't be irresponsible
you know your father and I haven't saved
a cent well if you must know I kind of
have a new hobby I just didn't want to
tell you guys because I thought you'd
make fun of it they'll let him say what
it is first it's called wizards the
beckoning it's a strategy game where you
assume the roles of wizards and warlocks
and engage in fantasy duels armed only
with the deck of Enchanted battle carbs
ah you guys just don't understand it
Brian Frank come back here we don't mean
to make fun of it it's just 200 bucks is
a lot of money to throw away on some
silly car I didn't throw it away mom I
mean sure I spent two hundred dollars
but by now my collections got to be
worth at least a thousand a thousand
dollars that real money are like wizard
bucks real money and every time I play I
just win more cards so you won like 800
bucks yeah but it's not about winning
dad it's about the spiritual journey
testing yourself and finding your own
strengths and limitations so you've won
like 800 yeah I guess but in order to
get that money I'd have to sell my card
I am not selling my car Brian you have
to be responsible with your money you
know you need to sell these cards now
otherwise when do you wake up the fat
will be over and they'll be worth
nothing that's why we sold your beanie
babies oh my beanie baby you have a
computer we're selling the car this is
so unfair you guys can't control me
Brian wait come back here no forget it
you know what go ahead no wait guess we
can still control
hey Linda where are you we wait for you
no no it's fine I got plenty of other
people I can hang out with actually I
see someone right now what do you mean
who I got friends her name is Rhys I'll
be right with You Theresa for you awful
cabeza funny Theresa I gotta go bye ok
Gina looks like mommy's all yours we can
do whatever you want we can sit here and
talk yeah and the ball hi oh look at
that guy over there too much t*nk and
not enough top food lunch break mm-hmm
oh this park is a great place to grab a
bite I come here all the time it's my
little girl oh yeah which one is she
she's hanging from the monkey bars in
the ripped undies is not an upside-down
outfit hi I'm Judy Mme your daughter is
adorable all thing who's little girl
she's playing with I have no idea they
just met and boom they're best friends
kids are amazing that way mmm the shame
adults can't be more like that we build
these giant walls around us and we never
let anyone in exactly like there's no
reason that you and I can't be friends
what like we were just saying you know
we seem to get along maybe we could have
coffee sometime what do you say oh no
well no offense but I just met you oh
you don't need to worry I'm not a freak
it's just that I don't have any friends
okay well it was nice to meet you oh I
didn't mean to come on too strong it's
just that my sister got engaged and I
don't ok I'll see your own apartment you
don't have to run
[Music]
alright where do we unload these things
can't believe you're making me sell my
card I can't believe there are this many
geeks in Chicago what do you breed
underground this isn't a joke dad people
take these tournaments very seriously I
can see why it's like stepping back into
the Middle Ages in a conference room in
a hotel at the airport Miller the
merciless you're here your arrival was
foretold by the owl of prophecy he sees
all no I've seen it all that's my dad
Miller the elder you must be proud brian
is the warrior to whom we all bow last
week he made Goren the invincible cry I
had a sinus infection so you're you're
kind of a big sh*t here and yeah I got a
bit of a rep well if it isn't Miller the
merciless aren't you a sight for sore
eyes hello or Haiti so Miller finally
here to drink from the bitter cup of
defeat no I'm not really here to play
it's like Miller the merciless has
become the chicken of New ered I think
you can take this guy yeah but what
difference does it make we're just here
to sell the cards in the immortal words
of Lucius of candour quote and you want
to take out my boy you got it really
going to let me play look it's one thing
if you're bullied by real bullies I will
not have you bullied by people who get
bullied by bullies
hey sweetie woodchuck to nothin what do
you say you and I hang out tonight am I
in trouble oh I just wanna do something
with you be a friend I'm not going to
tell you where I hide my money Hey Judy
is doing no he's out oh man we were
supposed to hang out sure Oh what am I
gonna do I told my wife and intricate
web of lies to get out of the house a
shame to waste that I would go shopping
with Linda but she blew me off again you
wanna go you and me sounds bill that's
very European well I didn't shave my
legs so it's even more European than you
think where's go anyway oh he's helping
brian sell his geek cards we're teaching
him a lesson about responsibility yes in
your face Lord Hades in that I haven't
won yet I'm sorry now I want yes in your
face Lord Amy good it's really great
warrior even greater than the horn Cobra
of cell lock audacity not so much bowing
is bending over loser this is you go
sell these cards now not when you're on
a roll my boy you're kicking ass and
takin stupid made-up names okay who's
next you you in the pac-man bedsheets
prepared a w*apon
[Music]
well thanks for turning me out of the
outlet mall you know that soap store was
fantastic yeah I can't believe you've
never been to the lavender basket I
can't believe I spent forty dollars
there are you sure don't be okay with
all this Oh what well you know you and
me spending time together and it could
look like we're having an affair no
would have been enough oh you're home
someone smells nice that would be him
now they're called essential oils and
frankly I don't know how I live without
them well I'm gonna go put my cards away
sure buddy you had a good day hit the
showers phil Bryant still has his cards
I thought he was selling up honey I've
been thinking about it and I really like
to handle this on my own no bail we made
a decision I need to know what's going
on all right we were gonna sell the
cards they're gone the invincible but
then Lord Hades gets all up in Brian's
face and causing the chicken Anor oh
yeah you know what helps all yours okay
just promise me that it's all gonna turn
out okay come on Judy do I look like the
owl of prophecy
there he is huzzah and you did great
today son thanks dad it was fun spending
a whole day with you who have to do it
again sometime how about saturday from
noon till 4i interview in the golden
goblet tournament holding goblin I don't
know dad I mean that's the big leagues
all the best players are going to be
there that the Visigoths sir fireworm
you could totally take those losers yes
sir sure that I am Brian Brian when I
was your age I didn't want to go out for
varsity football but my dad made me now
I'm glad he did so I'm gonna do the same
favor for you okay but you know in big
tournaments costumes are mandatory for
both of us perfect i have a royal
headpiece i acquired yesterday on my
lunch break no no dead you can't go is
the king of burgers you have to go at
the mythical creature oh I'll go is
something no one and that tournaments
ever seen before a girlfriend
Jamie there you go I knew I shouldn't
have worn my nice pants to the farmers
market can we go maybe you'll pay the
dollar admission instead of climbing
over the chicken wire take me a second
to so vus hi hi wear a skirt maybe you
wear no pants maybe okay then okay Mr
Fitzsimmons hey that was close what what
they'll just called me in here in my
underwear and then he takes off his
pants and you choose him all that fit oh
look we decided to drop by hey listen up
Terry's BAM got a last-minute gig and
Des Moines a fight you might like to
check out that new rib joints Fitz and I
are plannin on goin to a movie can I
calm all right citizen okay with your
cheek on I guess so we're gonna take my
car at it and I've got a jacket on the
back seat can you move it it's just got
a lot of stuff in the pockets and we'll
make it work Oh fit all right I walk
outside my underwear what will the
neighbors think that we're having an
affair I don't need your problems
that's my boy taught him everything he
knows huh he's playing my son well I bet
the janitors are glad he came because my
son's mopping the floor with him I'm
just hoping the boys have fun oh he'll
have fun if he enjoys being my son's
what are you talking about the
game stay in the game oh that's right
Dilbert you just got Haddad how does it
taste dad can you please stop calling
everybody Dilbert he has a name yeah
Gilbert good don't get cocky team Miller
still have another round away yeah
listen dad I think I'm just gonna step
down while on the head what you can't
quit now you're about to win it all it's
not about winning every player has their
preordained destiny and my inner voice
tells me that my journey of engine or
maybe it's just the g*n did you hear
that stop it dad it's over no no my
son's not gonna be a quitter a quitter
is worse than a loser all right you
wanna know why dad it's because of you I
don't want to play anymore because of
you you keep pushing me and pushing me
and you're just taking all the fun out
of it I just want you to go as far as
you can I know you can win it all I
don't care i just want to go home well I
don't possess the gift of prophecy I
totally saw this coming oh yeah did you
see this coming Oh
oh that is a great movie oh and what an
ending I can't believe that she could
you please not talk about it some of us
had to see the Hilary Duff movie because
your movie was sold out you know what
tagging along with you too was a big
mistake all that long a hitch here but
what a great time you guys had at the
mall in the farmers market what do you
expect Linda that she was just gonna sit
around by the phone waiting for you to
tear yourself away from your fiance
you've been a very selfish sister don't
talk to her like that well I'm on your
side 4mon okay she's a wonderful person
and she finally found someone who loves
her after an endless parade of
heartbreak after heartbreak lose this
might be her best sh*t what we kidding
her last sh*t but where was she when we
went to the candle store to the
botanical gardens or we had tea at the
museum I was a much better sister you
than she's ever been okay I gotta go
back to being a guy now the two girls
have fun i'm gonna go buy some tires or
spit or something i had a lot of fun gee
I did too fits thanks for being there
for me it's my pleasure Oh quite a good
buy was there something going on between
you two thank you
and I am so sorry about tonight don't be
it's my fault right I'm a lousy
sister no no I just have to learn how to
share you you know what you dance
everything that I have a home a
wonderful loving sale I hate you I don't
care leave me alone all right Brian way
okay do you want me to catch you up on
this thing no no this is all yours I
just have one question is that our
Christmas tree skirt k*lled and your
pasta strainer my helmet and it's that
everything's what you think it is just
go away forgive him bride cut it out why
are you so mad I was I was just trying
to be there for you this wasn't about me
Dad this is about you I feel like a big
sh*t yelling only okay okay you're right
I blew it I guess I just got excited you
were good at something like a cheer for
and I turned into one of those of
noxious football dads screaming from the
stands oh my god just like my old man i
am so sorry son all right I guess no no
it isn't I never wanted to be like my
dad set down the dance floor and then
floated like a feather a mean drunk and
r*cist Heather well then why did you act
that way I don't know but I swear it was
never about me I was really proud of you
you were wow you know all these years
I've been trying to impress you and now
hold on hold on I just realized
something all those times my dad was
screaming at me from the sidelines he
was proud of me my father was proud of
me
Chuck something like fine crying I'm on
the phone yeah hi pox it's me bill yeah
yeah I just realized all over x you
yelled at me when I was a kid you were
actually what okay I'll call you back
when the games over ah ok I'll call you
tomorrow okay maybe next week then I
want you to know son I love you you're a
good kid yeah turn out fine I'm a very
lucky dad OH dad but that have been so
hard for him to say oh geez bill we left
the remote on the TV can you get it
[Applause]
you
[Music]
I will have it any other way cause you
max
[Applause]
03x04 - Still Winning
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.