[Music]
hey thought you're only staying a couple
of days not moving in sorry I just have
a heavy sh*t bill I just don't see why
you have to stay here you know there are
plenty of cheap motels by the airport
look who I'm telling what your Aunt
Linda needs a place to stay for a few
days while they redo the floors in her
apartment so she's bunking with you and
Tina gonna be so much fun summer parties
it's not fair I mean I already have to
share a room with Tina now Aunt Linda
am I ever gonna get any privacy honey
someday you're gonna look back on this
and realize how little we care
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
so broomies kind of fun are us girls
gonna have tonight oh well I was
thinking that you could go hide
somewhere and Tina and I could go to
sleep no no I thought we'd get out the
Ouija board and have to stay on oh I'm
about to contact the spirit world right
now will I be happy all signs point to
yes never know what will happen when you
call me why'd you scare me oh okay I
wouldn't have done that if I were you
she tends to hold on to things
come on the harmless joke she'll get
over it don't be such a worrywart you're
really scaring me well my heart's really
b*ating oh I guess we're even now
I'll say when we're even what's all that
noise just playing the game with Aunt
Linda oh that's sweet honey hello yeah
hold on a minute Brian sounds like a
girl probably one of the guys from his
Chess Club is calling Oh hold on it's
blend gosh do you think Brian has a new
girlfriend
as I said anything to me they're in an
age where they don't want to talk to you
about their relationships
except for my gay son he wants to share
every detail did you know that their
third-base is different than ours
I'll go talk to the boy I'm a toilet
salesman I know how to get stuff out of
people you see what I did there yeah
it's like living with the poet all right
so son Brenda Brenda Brenda I really
don't want to talk about oh come on son
it's me your old man you know I can keep
a secret
okay tell me one thing that I've told
you that you haven't blabbed all over
town that you won those cheerleading
finals that's not a secret
oh yes it is okay I am kind of seeing
someone but I'd really rather not
discuss oh you know we don't mind if
she's from a different ethnic background
no it's not that
well there's nothing wrong with it if
she is fact there can be a lot right
with it as we learn from watching those
cheerleading fine listen listen it's not
that big a deal it's just a little
embarrassing
Brenda is this girl in my class where I
kind of made out with behind the garage
at a party oh behind the garage
[Music]
and that raccoon watches a boy become a
man anyway Britta's okay I'm just really
more interested in her friend Kaitlyn
but you know I don't wanna hurt Brenda's
feelings
you've got to handle this very carefully
women are a lot more sensitive than we
are Oh boohoo dumper
I think what's your mother's so
delicately trying to say is that you
don't have to get all serious with
everybody you make out with but but I
kind of got the feeling it might have
been the highlight of her life besides
it's meaner to string her along I have a
study date with her tomorrow I guess I
can end it then but I'm just not really
sure what to say I can help you I've
broken up with tons of guys but it's
always good to get advice for a
professional hey hey your mom may have
had a few miles on her when we met she
still had that new girl smell
you know the food's already been k*lled
you don't need to sneak up on it
studying with his girlfriend she's hot
she made out with her boy how dark was
it behind that garage well it's just as
well that he's breaking up with her
she's more woman than my little bride
bride can handle he should be driving a
station wagon instead of a convertible
whose top can come off at any minute hey
what are you guys studying Stonewall
Jackson oh that's great he was in the
character from The Flintstones to get
the kids interested in history will you
get to the part about ulysses s grant
this is my father Bill Miller nice to
meet you you must be Brenda we've heard
a lot about you
I'm actually mom this is Caitlin Brenda
just went to a car for a bucket oh wow
here she is Brenda this is my mom and my
dad hi you're Brenda thank God it's nice
to meet you oh it's nice to meet you too
Annabel she's been my best friend since
fifth grade I just love this outfit
doesn't she look great in that color
Bryant
yes uh-huh we should leave them alone
bill it was lovely meeting you again
nice time your tops nice to thank him
break it up with that sweet Brenda yeah
who's Brenda the girl in the room oh
yeah the one with the book spider onto
the strength sure what's this for Lana
key was hand Linda oh oh good for you
honey
I just don't want to see him break that
poor girl's heart she's perfect for him
Brian can you come in here please
plus I don't think our Brian's ready for
a Caitlyn Hef's not ready for a Caitlyn
it's going on I think you should get
Brenda a chance
what but yesterday you said I should
dump her Shh that's because you didn't
explain what a lovely lovely person she
is actually she's kind of dull oh and
you're Billy Idol I think she might be
the perfect person for you
in fact she reminds me of a friend I had
in high school who your father dated
Deena Murphy oh she was a diamond in the
rough okay I'll think about it
see Bill we're raising really nice kids
and one very jittery 38 year olds are
you okay with this son yeah I guess I
mean Brittany's okay it's just that I've
always kind of had to think for Caitlyn
even though she's way out of my league
son son son if I dated in my league you
kids would be a lot less attractive
Thanks I guess let me tell you a little
story back in high school there was this
hot chick that I didn't stand a
chance with because she thought I was
really shallow so I dated her Wallflower
friend which made this girl think
I was sensitive the first chance I had I
dumped the Wallflower and got the
girl all flowers name Deena Murphy the
your mom gee dad what a sweet story yeah
we even made up a name for it it's
called pulling a Murphy another name for
it horrible
Sam it's not my proudest moment but life
taught me orally if you're not one of
the pretty boys you better be one of the
pretty smart boys forget it dad I'm not
pulling a Murphy that's wrong where's
Brenda she went to the bathroom I just
want to say Brian I think it's so great
that you two are dating
yeah she's a nice girl I'm glad you can
see that most boys are such jerks
I would love to find a guy like you
really a guy like me most the guys in
school just ignore a girl like Brenda
but not you you're deeper than yeah you
know sometimes it can be a curse it's
not always easy being the guy who feels
too much it's just so sad that it all
has to end when Brenda moves away I mean
she's she's moving away yeah she's gonna
live with her dad so she can go to that
private school in Deerfield she's moving
far away oh my god I thought she told
you you're moving far away ends and soon
well we'll just have to make the most of
the time we have left I just don't know
what Kaitlin now are gonna do when
you're going
[Laughter]
[Music]
miss Tina here no I think she went over
to her friends okay I'm gonna go to the
storage you need anything um I think mom
said that we needed some cleaning
supplies but I'm not sure which one is
he better check thanks a lot Lauren
better you than me
bill you have got to discipline Tina I'm
not getting on her bad side
kick them out to call you back Oh
Kaitlin huh
the one who was out of your league yes
sometimes Kaitlin has things she wants
to talk to me about because I'm
sensitive but you're still seeing Brenda
yeah you're pulling a Murphy I just
happened to be friends with Kaitlin as
well as Brenda aka a Murphy dad I'm
allowed to be friends with two girls at
once Murphy Murphy Meredith okay I'm
pulling a Murphy I couldn't help myself
welcome to club Murphy where the
appetizers are kind of bland but the
entrees are really hot right that ever
since I've been dating Brenda Kayla
thinks I'm the greatest guy ever and I
wasn't gonna pull the Murphy until I
found out she's moving away she's moving
away yeah so now I don't even have to
break up with her Wow Murphy with a
built-in escape you've achieved the
perfect Murphy
that's it your pictures going back in my
wallet sweet Brenda coming over to study
I bought cookies for you too does she
like oatmeal actually Brenda's allergic
to sugar and flour and oatmeal allergies
huh it's like you two were made for each
other
is she afraid of birds - I'm not afraid
of birds
a crow flew into my bedroom anyone would
have screamed like that you know Belle
seen Bryan Brenda together reminds me of
how sweet you were with my friend Dina
Murphy you may not know this but it was
one of the first things that attracted
me to you really because I was just
following my heart sweet maybe after the
kids go to bed tonight I could be sweet
you're sweet to me every second of the
day how about 10 o'clock where you read
they're probably Brenda yeah that's just
so sad it's gonna end soon right son
it sure is dad what's gonna ensue
Britton is moving that's terrible yeah
Brian's pretty heartbroken we'll just
have to make the most of the time we
have left anyway dad Brian guess what
I'm not moving
what what it didn't work out with that
private school so so what exactly didn't
work out well that school in Deerfield
isn't accepting any new students right
now and you're taking no for an answer
says you two can keep seeing each other
yes yes we can
isn't that great dad didn't that great
you ever think of moving to Deerfield
anyway
[Music]
well thanks a lot dad now Brenda's not
moving and she likes me even more and if
I break up with her Caitlin's just gonna
think I'm a big jerk yeah you can't have
the hot girl thinking you're a jerk at
least not until after the wedding
I've never sort of listened to you no no
no hold on some there's gotta be a way
out
okay I'm here I'm here my wife gave me
the message what is so urgent did you
run all the way here
no just up the stairs help me out here
back in high school when I pulled the
Murphy how did I break up with Deena so
Judi didn't think I was a jerk haha the
Murphy I remember first you waited till
after your birthday and then you told
her that your parents were getting a
divorce and you needed a little long
time that's right hey there was such a
good lie my parents got wind of it
thought it was a great idea and
eventually got divorced so it all worked
out yeah yeah now all we have to do is
come up with your lie live what lie lie
down right fits oh yeah the bill and I
were just gonna take a nap
well go ahead don't let me stop you
[Laughter]
how long are you gonna do this well just
30 minutes any longer I'm groggy for the
rest of the day what's going on don't
look at them there's no answers there
well I only kept dating Brenda so that
Kaitlyn would think I'm a sensitive guy
and then once Brenda moved away I could
ask Kaitlyn out that's terrible what
kind of dumb girl would fall for that
according to dad you sorry bad dream in
high school when dad dated Deena Murphy
he only did that to get you to think he
was sensitive is that true bill you used
that sweet girl who it's such a crush on
you to get to me
Judi this is really important and I
think we need to talk about it
how about a week from Wednesday I'll go
put it on my bill don't worry Judy we
got this old Brian thing covered yeah we
told him to tell Brenda that he needs a
little alone time cuz you and Bill are
getting a divorce
oh good so I got a little something out
of this too Brian
it's not right to use people you need to
tell her the truth and don't be rude
call her on the phone tell her you're
coming over there and do it in person
actually she's still downstairs what we
all up here get downstairs and tell her
how you really feel so 10 o'clock red
bra like we said you really want to be
naked around me right now
now kinda and altogether you seem to be
a pretty tight family well I'm not
related I just came over well it's an
app with Bill so are we going to finish
our homework um yeah but there's there's
something I need to say to you first
what is everything okay yeah yeah it's
fine it's just uh
you know what I'm not really sure how to
say this
sorry Brian you can tell me anything
well Brian Stanton are getting a divorce
really that's terrible yeah yeah it's
terrible it's just a crazy time for all
of us
Oh does it have anything to do with that
man mr. Miller was napping with a little
bit
the main thing is Brian's going through
a very confusing time mom no I'm not see
that he's in denial because of all the
trial excuses getting a divorce I was
just about to tell her the truth
I'm sorry I was looking at her sweet
little face and I couldn't help myself
so we all agreed lying is the answer no
I'm just trying to spare poor Brenda's
feelings we need to find a way to let
her down easy I once threw myself down
the stairs to get out of a relationship
and the preset get back up any altar son
you're getting married okay you're all
nuts I'm gonna go in there and I'm gonna
tell her the truth like I wanted to in
the first place
now what is the truth again yes you're
an idiot oh yeah I can't believe you are
so shallow that you would use Dina my
best friend what's gonna remember Dina
Murphy oh yeah yeah bill went out with
her so I think he was sensitive he used
her to get to me well Judy to be fair
you used her too
what are you talking about come on Dina
was a dud you only hung out with her
because you were hot for her older
brother what Judy Jake Murphy
Jake Jake Murphy you used to invite
yourself over for sleep over so you
could trance around
[Laughter]
well welcome to the shallow end of the
pool
well silver she all right
yeah she's fine she broke up with me
what yeah she dumped me she thinks I'm
weird my family's weird and I'm a
terrible kisser plus she's been seeing a
guy from the swim team who apparently
thought she was sensitive for dating me
Brenda pulled a Miller like to say it
was a nice day back here nerves are
rattled my skin's broken out and I
haven't slept in three nights
thanks to Tina I couldn't tell that
little monster of yours I said goodbye
cannot wait to get back to my apartment
just unpacking finally relax
Tina's in the big suitcase right I've
zipped Erin
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
03x09 - Still Shallow
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.