01x01 - The Big Problem/Power Mad!

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Fairly OddParents". Aired: March 30, 2001 – July 26, 2017.*
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Series follows the adventures of Timmy Turner, a 10-year-old boy with two fairy godparents named Cosmo and Wanda who grant him wishes to solve his everyday problems.
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01x01 - The Big Problem/Power Mad!

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky

♪ Always giving him commands

Bad twerp!

♪ Doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who'll grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality...

♪ They are his oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

Wands and wings.floaty, crowny things.

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, peapod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

Obtuse, rubber goose,

Green moose, guava juice.

Giant snake, birthday cake,

Large fries, chocolate shake!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are a kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

Yeah, right.

[Bugle plays reveille]

[Snoring]

Ready, cosmo?

Ready, wanda.

Both: , , ...

Wakey, wakey, timmy.

[Ring] aaah!

Come on, little fella-- even though we're your fairy godparents...

We don't need our magic to tell us

That you're in for a boring, ordinary day of school.

Yippee.

[Schoolbell rings]

Ha ha.

You'd be able to reach this if you weren't so puny.

[Whistle blows]

Man: welcome to football tryouts!

Listen up for your position.

Tailback!yes, sir!

Linebacker!yes, sir!

Ball!huh?

I can't wait to get home.

At least I'm big in my parents' eyes.

Hey, short stuff! Guess what.

We're going to the movies.

All right!

Not "we're" as in all of us--

"We're" as in your mom and i.

What?

You'renot old enough for this movie,

And we'renot taking you.

Ain't pronouns a kick?

Both: ha ha ha ha!

Oh, honey, cheer up.

You'll get into those movies someday.

Why, soon, you won't even need a baby-sitter.

Really?

Yep, but tonight youdo!

Hey, pronouns again!

[Doorbell chimes]

[Awoo]

Oh, no... The baby-sitter!

[Thunder]

Hello, mr. And mrs. Turner.

It's me, vicky.

[Flowers scream]

You can't spell "vicky" without "icky."

We'll be back really late, so just tuck timmy in, ok?

I'll take care of the little darling

Like he was my own cash and blood.

Have fun at the movies. Bye!

All right, twerp, time for bed!

But it's only : .

Well, it's : on the east coast.

Bed!

[Beep]

Now it's : on the east coast.

Cheer up, timmy--

You're only gonna be little for a little while.

Well, being little stinks.

I bet it would be great to be an adult.

When I'm big, I'm gonna do what I want, when I want.

I'll help little old ladies cross the street.

Oh.

[Honking]

Thanks, older timmy.

Timmy: I'm not gonna take any crud from bullies.

Yikes!

Yea, older timmy!

Timmy: and I won't even need a baby-sitter.

Will babysit for food.

[Clink]

Psych. Ha ha ha ha!

Blast you, older timmy!

It sounds like being older will be a hoot.

Yeah, and I don't even have to wait,

'Cause I've got fairy godparents.

Ok, you guys, I wish I was older.

Well, how do I look?

Both: ewwww.

Eww is right.

I don't have any hair.

Sure you do-- it's here on your back.

That's just creepy.

I wish I had a full head of hair.

Sorry, timmy.

According to the rules,

Fairy godparents only grant wishes to kids.

Really?

It doesn't mean you still can't pal around with me, right?

Not that we know of.

Cool-- let's go do adult stuff.

Ok! Like what?

Driving!

I'm carsick.

I'm cosmo!

Hello, little old lady.

May I help you cross the street?

Baaah!

You know, timmy, when a kid helps an old lady cross the street,

It's kind of cute.

But when an adult does it, it's just plain creepy.

Fine. There's still other fun things adults can do.

Finally, I can see a grown-up movie.

Ew, gross--

Adults making out.

[Smooching]

You know, I bet timmy would think this is gross.

[Smooching]

Aaaah!

It burns!

Shaving will be fun.

Aaah!

Try some manly cologne.

Aaah!

They call this soothing?

I'm hungry.

I've got an idea:

Maybe if you ate some adult food,

You'd have better luck thinking like an adult.

Great idea, puddin'.

I'm chock-full of 'em.

Both: ha ha ha ha!

Waiter: sir.

The grown-up menu-- for grownups like me!

[Munching]

What's this?

The bill.

That goes to my... Parents.

Very amusing, sir. That'll be $ .

What?! That's more than I get in allowance.

I mean, that's more than I make in a month.

Well, you should've finished college.

Did you finish college?

No!

Why do you think I'm a waiter?

Waaah!

Couldn't you guys magically clean these?

No. Adults have to do everything all by themselves.

[Gulps]

So tired.

Aaah!

[Whistle]

Hyah! Oof!

Aah! Hyee!

Heeyah!

Oof!

Oh, man, booted out of my own house.

Nobody gets rid of creeps like vicky.

Bwaak!

Hmm, timmy hasn't said anything since I sent him to bed.

The brat's usually whimpering with the hunger by now.

Aw, man, what good is being big

If I can't even go in my own home?

Come on, I know where we can still go.

[Gasp]

He's gone!

Something could have happened to him!

Or worse...

Something could happen to me

Because something happened to him!

His parents are home!

Need time to find the bug.

Mrs. Taylor: vicky, it's us...

Mr. Taylor: timmy's loving parents.

Aw, look at that big, orange, basketball-shaped head of his sleeping.

Good night, timmy.

Well, uh, good night.

Timmy: I can't make wishes, I can't sleep in my own bed--

I didn't know being an adult would be so hard.

Oh, it's ok, sweetie,

Tomorrow will be better.

Really?

Awe don't know-- owwwie!

[Cock-a-doodle-do]

Boy: ouch, ow-- cut it out, francis.

That's my only head.

Huh huh.

Finally, this looks like a job for...

Both: older timmy!

Pluck on somebody your own size.

Waaah!

Fairygram for cosmo and wanda.

I'm cosmo and wanda.

Now that your kid is big and hairy,

Your next assignment is mean and scary.

Man, I wish I had some fairy godparents to knock around

Instead of this stupid doll.

[Buzz]

Whoa, the head fell off.

Awesome!

You mean we're being reassigned?

Ha ha ha ha!

I mean, uh, yes,

And we're all very sorry.

Can we have a couple of hours to say good-bye to timmy?

Can I have $ . ?

Two hours.

What's going on?

You said you just couldn't grant me any more wishes.

I didn't know you'd have to leave me, too.

We didn't know that, either.

Apparently, the other thing I'm chock-full of is not knowing stuff.

Hey, what if I acted like a kid again?

I could wish myself back to normal

And you guys wouldn't have to leave.

Hmm, I don't see anything that says you can't.

I smell loophole!

We'll discuss it at the next fairy convention.

Come on, timmy.

Ooh, let's find your inner child.

Miniature golf is a great kids' game.

Ow, my back.

Let me try the age-o-meter.

Kid...adult...

Oh, no!

You've become even more of an adult.

We've got to resort to the heavy a*tillery.

Ha ha ha ha!

That's just plain creepy.

Time to go.

Can we have two more hours with timmy?

Can I have more dollars?

Come on, we've got to get me younger...

I'm running out of s.

Vicky: have you seen this twerp?

Have you seen this twerp?

Have you seen this twerp?

Have you seen this twerp?

Vicky!

I've never been so happy to see you in my--

Actually, I've never been happy to see you.

[Whistle]

Oof! Aah!

Hyah!

Oof!

You are one creepy adult.

We got a place for guys like you.

Home?

Aw, sweetie, we tried.

Look at it this way:

Meals don't cost $ here.

Man: one phone call, creep.

Mom, it's me, timmy.

Honey, it's some old guy calling me from jail.

He says he's timmy.

That's creepy... And inaccurate.

We know that timmy was taken to school

By his loving baby-sitter, vicky.

They didn't believe me.

I don't want to be grown-up.

[Cries]

Ok, chop-chop--

Somebody in this room has to go help the new kid.

What? No!

I've lost my home, my hair, and now my godparents.

This stinks!

I don't want to be an adult, yet.

I want my mom and dad!

Aaaah!

Wanda: oh, timmy, wanting your mom and dad is making you a kid inside.

Quick, make a wish!

I wish I was a kid again!

I'm puny again!

Woo-hoo!

Godparents: and we get to stay with timmy!

In your face!

Well, someone in here has to get assigned

To that mean, little--

Darn it!

Finally... Does your head pop off?

It's not supposed to.

What happened to that big, fat, creepy bald guy?

Uh, parole?

Well, jail's for creepy adults--not kids.

Let's get you out of here.

All: we want our mommies and daddies, too.

Aaah!

Being a kid rocks!

I'd rather be a shrimp than a hairy prisoner any day.

Hey, me, too.

Officer...

He's a twerp, you know, and I can't find him.

He's about this high, he's got a stupid, little pink hat like this,

And he's got a nasally little voice like--

Hi, vicky!

Twerp...i'm safe!

I--i mean, you're safe--

Which means I'm safe!

Francis: huh, you're just a shrimp--

A puny, little shrimp.

I sure am, francis,

And I'm not in any hurry to grow up.

Best of all, I've got all my hair

And none of it's on my back.

Uh...

Both: ewww.

Here you go.

Hey, shaving will be fun.

Francis: aaaaah!

All: ha ha ha ha ha!

It's quiet--

Too quiet.

What was that?

Timmy! Look out!

That's double the daily recommended supply of beta carotene!

No!

I'm hit-- a lot!

Look out! They're coming closer!

They're--they're--

Ninja bunnies?

Aw, that's it. Helmets off.

Look at me! I'm cheese!

Something wrong, timmy?

Fuzzy bunnies?

What am i, ?

Hey! I heard happy.

What's going on in here?

Uh, nothing. Just, uh, playing video games.

Well, keep it down.

You know when I'm watching you,

I'm watching something on tv!

That was close.

No, thisis close.

I'm chafing.

Look, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

While I'm gone, pleasefix this game.

No bunnies. No ponies.

Make a game that'll scare the pants off me.

But you'll be in the can.

You'll already have your pants--

Why don't you wish for exactly what you want,

And we'll do our best.

I wish for a video game that's challenging--

A game that you can't wish yourself out of.

That wish is just vague enough to work.

But we're gonna need a lot of power to make it work.

One tough video game, coming up.

Whoa.

What was that?

The power surged.

Every light in the city dimmed.

That can only mean one thing.

Both: timmy's got a new video game!

I hope timmy likes his new game.

[Glass breaking]

Hey, where's the dude?

It's : .

Timmy always goes to the bathroom at : .

That's weird.

He always struck me as a...

: Whizzinator.

Cool! Virtual reality helmets!

Well, that's not good.

Hey, what's up with the power surge?

Shh. Chester and aj are on tv.

What?

This is weird.

Usually timmy's games are filled with fuzzy bunnies.

I know. What is he, ?

Ha ha ha!

Those creeps!

Wait till I reset them.

No! If you turn the game off while they're in there

Or if they lose their lives,

They'll disappear forever!

What?

Then I wish them out of the game.

You can't!

Quote:

"I wish for a video game that's challenging--

A game that you can't wish yourself out of."

Unquote.

You either win the game or take off the helmet.

You guys don't do anything halfway, do you?

Nope, we're two halves of a whole idiot.

Oh, no!

Great.

The video game is using so much energy

That anything vicky plugs in could turn off the power

And turn the game off!

Those two are goners unless I get them out of there.

You guys keep vicky from using up any more power.

I'm going in.

He's being vague again.

Vicky: and this is the tv,

And this is the vcr,

And this is the dvd

And this is the surroundsound,

And this is the combination microwave popcorn maker and neck massager

And I don't know what this plug does,

But I ain't payin' for the electricity!

We can't let her plug all those things in.

She'll blow the power.

Come on.

Follow me to the tv.

I've got an idea.

Wednesday, march .

Cosmo had an idea.

Wanda!

You got some 'splainin' to do.

Even though that's not the way everybody says "explaining,"

I respect our differences

And your right to say it in the way you want.

Eh, babaloo?

That, too.

Wah!

Boring.

And now here's cosmo with the weather.

I thought you said feather.

Cool! The electric shredder balls of doom.

Man, cosmo and wanda really made this game a lot--

Tougher.

I lost a life-- on level one.

What am i, ?

Just let me clarify this.

You married your car.

Yep. Now my kids get miles to the gallon.

[Horn honking]

And we'll be right back.

Yawn!

[Panting]

Aah! If I'm not careful, I could get k*lled.

Neat!

Oh, no. Another power surge.

Aah!

Cool.

This looks like an underwater version of my aunt gertrude's house.

Hello, timmy.

Let aunt gertrude pinch those chubby cheeks of yours.

I hope she means my face.

I'm a wanda coin. You may have one wish.

I wish I had cheeks of steel.

I hope you mean your face.

I do.

It's a show about nothing.

How do we know when it's over?

I do.

Tv narrator: his velvety voice and beautiful lyrics

Have moved many a generation...

♪ The wheels on the bus go round and round ♪

Narrator: his is a talent that will fill your heart with joy.

♪ There was a farmer had a dog ♪

♪ And bingo was his name-o ♪

Man, there is nothing on today.

Wow, the classroom of doom level.

Hey, look.

Apparently, if you don't get through this class,

You spend the rest of your life as a janitor.

There's a lesson in that.

Guys, I found you!

Hey, timmy. Great game, dude.

We've gotta get out of here.

No way! This is the greatest video game ever.

But we only have two lives left.

So? It's not like if we get wasted in here,

We disappear forever, right?

Uh...

Besides, I have lives.

Aah!

Stop it!

Guys, we have to stick together.

Only together, through the power of teamwork, can we--

Whoa! Come on!i'm on top of the desk!

Ahh.

What the heck is wrong with this thing?

I'm all out of ideas.

Well, easy come, easy go.

Vicky: no wonder nothing's working.

All the plugs came out.

Oh, no!

Oh, no. The power's out.

Timmy!

Cosmo?

I had another idea.

This was a magnificent day for cosmo.

Way to keep the power going, sweetie.

Good thing I'm more hungry than tired.

Guys, wait.

We really need to stop playing.

Why?uh, I have to go.

No, you don't.

You just went at : .

Besides, we've only got...

One level left!

Hey, we're in my living room.

Phew. We're finally out of the game.

How anticlimactic.

Yeah, what a gyp.

Oh, no. My helmet's still on.

We're still in the game.

Ha ha ha!

Well, well.

Looks like I'm having helpings of twerp for dinner.

Guys, take off the helmets, quick!

Don't freak, dude.

We still have two lives left.

That is one bad baby-sitter.

Time to baby-sit.

Aah!

No! They'll be gone forever!

Oh, no! That was timmy's last life.

It's all your fault.

Whoa, he gave his last life for us.

Even virtually, that was pretty cool.

Hey, if timmy's gone for good,

Why's his score still going up?

I'm alive? But how?

Sacrificing your life for us...

Must have given you enough points

For a free man.

Cool. Let's rock.

A cosmo coin.

[Growl]

Guys, we've gotta get that coin.

Ready? Go.

Fear my sitting butt!

Wow, that's comfy.

Beautiful!

The coin.

[Growl]

Bye-bye, twerps!

Go, timmy.

I'm a cosmo coin,

And boy am I glad to see you. Ditto.

This'll be great for my gluts.

Whatcha need, sport?

I wish I had something to stop vicky.

Hey, that's just vague enough to work.

Oh, vicky, it's us.

Timmy's mom and dad.

We're back.

You can go home now.

No!

[Crash]all right, game over.

You twerps are outta here.

Timmy's gotta rewire the house because

I can't watch my shows!

Later, dude.

Bye, timmy. See you tomorrow.

Timmy: hey, vicky.

Why don't you watch your shows on this?

This virtual reality helmet puts you right in the middle

Of your favorite programs.

Give me that.

Cool, the tetherball channel.

[Vicky screaming]

Ha ha ha!

High fin.

How about a kiss instead?

I'm game.

Vicky: hey, is that timmy's aunt gertrude?

Ow!
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