07x11 - God Bless America

[bunniefuu]

Only thing you're gonna catch
with those crumbs is a rat.

I'm not trying to catch it.
I'm trying to feed it.

Think Code Talker will mind
if I put this here till she gets back?

Assuming she gets back.

Ay, please. She's in Medical, not dead.

Or they transferred her or deported her.

She wasn't deported. They make you
take your sheets off before you go.

519. 813.

You've got mail.

- 741. You've got mail.
- Are you still on AOL?

-They're moving my hearing up.
-Mine, too.

You've got mail.

431. You've got mail.

893.

-Shani, you didn't get one?
-I ran out of hearings.

Air ICE is giving me a free flight
to my f*cking funeral.

Oh, Shani, I'm sorry.

I'm still waiting on a copy
of my defense file.

How the hell am I gonna get my case tossed

if I can't prove my shitty lawyer
f*cked up my conviction?

How can I get
my immigration case dismissed

if I can't prove that
my court-appointed attorney was negligent

and affected the results
of my criminal proceedings?

You got this.
Any decent judge would throw it out.

"Decent" seems to be relative these days.

Try to be nice
and you get sh*t on your head.

God bless America.

Isn't it great?

It's a beauty, Ms. Ferguson.

Thank you, Mr. Litvack.

Like the inside of a cereal box
minus the happy prize.

The happy prize is we don't have to keep
busing detainees across the state

every time they have a court appearance.

Exactly. And now every detainee from Essex
and Clinton counties get bused here.

Always looking out for the bottom line.

Aw. Thank you.

I will admit that when we first won
this contract, I was a bit daunted.

These hearings can be...
very controversial.

Plus the pressure
to build something so fast.

But then Carlos here
told me a very inspiring story

about how the DHS built an entire prison
in New Orleans the week after Katrina hit,

and I thought, if they can build
an entire prison in the middle of a flood,

I can build a courtroom
in the middle of a shitstorm.

Standards to live by.

I don't see judge's chambers anywhere.

Are you planning on them
hanging out in the hall

or does my office become a WeWork?

Oh, the judges never leave the bench.

Yeah, they see at least 100 cases a day.

Maybe they wear those adult diapers
like that lady astronaut, right?

Although, I am working on setting up
a teleconferencing line

so the judges can do it all via webcam.
Speed us up by 32%.

And some people complain
Skype sex feels impersonal.

Linds... Ms. Ferguson,
why don't you sit in the judge's chair

- and I'll take your picture?
- No.

- Come on.
- I can't.

Yes, you can. Please.

You.

All right.

Ooh, so satisfying.
Carlos, you be the bailiff.

-Do you mind taking our--
-Uh, no, I am out of here.

Hey, sorry to bust in.
We got a minor situation in Medical.

What happened to her?

The patient presented with severe
abdominal upset and vaginal spotting.

But, thankfully,
the pregnancy is still viable.

She's pregnant?

I'd say about nine weeks along.

-So, why is she still screaming?
-She's scared, poor thing.

She doesn't know that her little
oogie woogie's gonna be okay.

Mama, mama, your baby's gonna be okay.
Okay, your baby's gonna be okay.

Where is her translator?

We don't have a translator for that.

You're supposed to file a report
if a detainee needs the Language Line.

I have a new courtroom to oversee,
so this sounds like a you problem to me.

I don't know why no one else
wants to work in the ICE kitchen.

They scared they'll be deported
or something?

Oh, it's 'cause Mendoza ain't easy.

So, why you wanna do it?

I'm trying to continue my journey
of personal improvement.

Um, but you know what? Maybe I should
make amends with my bunkie first,

because she's mad at me
'cause I made her clean up

whatever was leaking out of the toilet
last night.

Too late. We need kitchen crew.

You only brought one person?

Can't you see our entire
white contingent is MIA?

Well, I always heard that one Latin
works just as hard as three whites.

I know you mean that as a compliment,
but I'm gonna take it as an insult.

I asked for Diaz, not Ruiz.

Big Diaz and Little Diaz both declined.

Wait, which one's which?

It's a little confusing
because the older one is smaller.

You're not getting a Diaz.

Well, I don't want a Ruiz neither.

Gloria, I know things have been
really rough between us.

But I was hoping maybe...

maybe this might be a chance for us to,
you know, reset the game.

Relationships are best mended
by working together, you know?

f*ck you.

-Here's my check.
-Okay.

And, um, I wanted to ask permission
to go to a fundraiser.

My friend asked me to be her plus one.

And there will be alcohol there,
of which I will not partake.

And it will probably interfere
with my curfew,

but it's for an important cause--

I'm not interested in the details
of your date, but you can go.

It's not a date,
but thank you very much for signing off.

Thank yourself. I mean,
your employment situation has been steady,

your drug tests have been
coming back clean,

and looking at the clarity of your sample,
you're living a healthy life.

- Mmm.
- You drinking alkaline water?

I am. I'm feeling great.
I even got back into running.

I feel like I'm finally living my truth.

Sorry, I know that's a cliché.

-But clichés are clichés for a reason.
-Yes. Yes, they are.

They're really just catchy truths.

Do you know that squirrels' teeth
never stop growing?

Okay, so your probation is ending soon,
and you might wanna try and figure out

what you wanna do
with the rest of your life.

Can you be more specific?

Okay. "Have you found
a place of your own?"

Not yet.

-No. Okay.
-No.

"Have you cut ties with people involved
with your past criminal activities?"

Well, that one's tricky,
given the marriage.

No. Okay.

"Do you have career aspirations
beyond your current employment?"

-Yes, of course.
-All right, then, what are they?

Well, I'm not sure exactly
what they are yet, beyond aspirational.

No.

Mmm-hmm.

When do you need the answer
to these questions?

Oh.

They're-- They're not for me, okay?

You have to find
these answers for yourself.

Go. And keep the door open
for the next one, please.

-Thank you.
-Okay.

Sophia!

Girl, I haven't seen you
since the last time.

- You look amazing.
- And you look...

like the last time, but damp.

Ooh, um.

Give the woman your card, Ms. Burset.

She has some fancy party
and her hair needs an ambulance.

Trust.

All right, everybody out of your cells
and up against the wall, now!

-What's happening?
-Random sweep.

What? Why wasn't I informed?

'Cause then it wouldn't be random.

Move your ass, inmate. Move it.

You got anything on you?

Don't worry. Everything is buried
within the shower pipes.

Except I got some buried in my cock pipe.

I didn't do it.

Went deep sea diving.
I caught me a hairy squid.

m*therf*cker.

More like f*ck your mother.

This is a lot.

Hm. I told you it was a good tip.
I mean, look at all these pills.

Look at all that hair.
You could make yourself a toupee.

Huh?

Not "you," you. Just someone could.

Now, how the heck
did somebody even sneak this in?

Kind of looks
like a lobster claw.

Which part's the tickle
and which part's the plug?

Hopper, Ginger,
take all this to the contraband room

and make sure it's itemized properly.

Of course. And you're welcome.

Hey.

What do you know about this?

-Me? Nothing. I... Nothing.
-Mmm-hmm.

I really need to know
which one of these scrotum bros

is bringing in all this stuff.

I wish I could tell you, I do.
I just... I don't know.

I could really use some help.

Could you be my girl on the inside?
Tell me if you see anything?

- Of course. I've got your back.
- Right.

Hey, Nicky. Thanks for coming.

You got balls, I'll give you that.

-So, how's Lorna doing?
-Oh, you know, bright and sprightly.

Look, I know Lorna is having a real
hard time with all this, and so am I.

This is k*lling me. But I gotta move on.

I was hoping maybe
you could help her understand

why she's gotta sign these divorce papers.

Oh, okay, so you asked me here
to help you with your divorce?

Jesus, Vinnie. I can smell
the rotting carcass of your soul

-through the glass.
-Nicky--

You have a responsibility
to her as her kid's father,

and you can't just suddenly decide
that you're moving

and taking Sterling with you.

He means everything to her.
She has a right to see him.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I don't know what Lorna told you, but...

Actually, I know exactly what she told you
and that's the problem.

Nicky, the baby d*ed in the NICU.

Eh, what do you mean?

I-- I saw a picture of him yesterday
where he's drooling

'cause he's teething,
'cause he's a very early teether.

She's taking other people's photos
from the Internet.

It's not him.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, Vinnie, I'm so sorry.

She's down the rabbit hole.

'Cause she can't process it.

She's gone someplace in her head,
and I can't reach her.

The prison doc said that they're gonna
transfer her to some unit

with all the oldies and nutties,

and maybe that's gonna help.
At least she'll have more supervision.

What? No, no, no, no, all right?
She doesn't know anyone in Florida.

She shouldn't be in there.
She should be with me.

Nicky, I know that you love her,
and I appreciate all you do for her, I do.

So, don't take this the wrong way,

but you've been with her this entire time
and you didn't know.

She needs more help
than you or me can give her.

I've been distracted, yeah,
but, uh, I'm here now.

And I understand, all right?
You need to move on.

But I can't let her go
when she needs me most.

You need to tell them not to transfer her.

It's not up to me.
And I think it's already a done deal.

I'm sorry.

My moms used to make us
fish head soup before tests.

Said their brain cells make us smarter.

Fish brains? Come on.

When's the last time you thought
to yourself, "Wow, there's a smart fish"?

Finding Nemo?

Yo, Taystee, you done yet?

Damn, you acting like you waiting on
some chili cheese fries.

Except for chili cheese fries
can't tell you if you're dumb.

What do you mean, I failed?

All right, B-plus!

If I can get Luschek to bring in
some fish head, I know I can ace this.

If I can give Luschek some head head,
I know I can ace it, too.

You realize it's a machine
that grades the tests?

I know that. I just think his sperm cells
will make me smarter.

Congrats, Doggett. You did good.

Wait, she passed?

Give back my test.

You still got a bunch wrong,
even with your extra dummy time.

-I'm not a dummy.
-Hey, y'all both are geniuses, okay?

Now let's go over some of the basic
algebra you messed up on.

My brain's gonna explode.
No one uses this sh*t anyhow.

Are you kidding me?
You need this sh*t to live.

-Akers, when you getting out?
-Two years.

Okay, so let's come up with a budget
for when that day happens.

Let's say that you get a job
the first week you get out,

because you baller, right?

But money also has to go out
for probation fees,

water, power, Internet, and you gotta eat.

- My kid's gotta eat, too.
- She got a mouth to feed.

- Shoes and sh*t, right?
- Hmm.

And then, there is X.

X is the amount
that you have left for rent.

X better be enough for a two bedroom.

I must've done it wrong
'cause I have negative 300.

I got the same thing.

That's because that's what it is.

I got positive 500.

But that's cause I'm trappin'
to supplement my income.

Man, math is bullshit.

Maybe you could get a loan.

Ain't no bank gonna give a loan
to an ex-con.

Get a community loan, like my mama did
when our trailer was towed away.

Everyone pitched in and helped us pay.

They did? That's good.
That's what loans should be.

Except that ain't a loan.
That's a redneck Kickstarter.

No, it is too a loan,
because Mama repaid it

when John John's trailer b*rned down.

I mean, she might've sucked him off,
I can't really remember,

but either way, it was paid.

Tell her the big slot
is for the pasta casserole.

The big slot is for--

I can hear you fine, Gloria,
and whenever you're ready to talk to me--

You're running half an hour
behind, Mendoza.

Third time this week.

I'm doing what I can
when you don't bring me any volunteers.

Where is everybody?

Nowhere good is my guess.

Well, well, so much for Saint Gloria, huh?

She dealing Aleida's sh*t,
or is that Daya's sh*t?

That ain't got nothing to do
with either of the Diazeses.

Please, I need to talk to Nicky.
Where is she?

No clue. I mean, I seen her in prison,

so I know that she ain't escaped
or been released or nothing.

Hey, Shani, Nicky wanted to be here,

but some people close to her
are kind of falling apart.

She's dealing with a lot of heavy sh*t
right now.

There's heavy sh*t here, too.
When is she here? I need to talk to her.

I don't know.

Where is everyone? Is Blanca okay?

She's going over her case.
Everyone's hearings are being pushed up.

sh*t. Were you able to talk to your boys?

The foster home won't accept calls
from the detention center,

which is why I have to ask
for another favor.

Is there any way
you could bring your phone in?

No, I can't do that.

-Please, you don't understand.
-I'm getting out in a few weeks.

Please, I'm begging you.

I got my own kids to think of. I'm sorry.

Mrs. Córdova,
I'm so sorry they called you in,

but Abel hasn't stopped crying
since this morning.

We got Benji out of class,
but he couldn't calm him either.

- Thank you. Where are they?
- In the nurse's office.

Mrs. Córdova,
I'm really sorry for your loss.

Hey.

He was scared
that you wouldn't come back.

Sweetheart, Mommy always comes back
at three o'clock, like every day.

Is this about Daddy?

Come on.

I know you miss him so much.

And we'll be missing him for a long time,
but we are here together.

What if you die, too?

Oh, baby, I'm not going to die.

Fat Enzo says everybody dies, even babies.

Don't listen to Fat Enzo,
or Skinny Enzo, or any Enzo.

I can't die. I have to stick around,
make sure you two get into college.

And then I have to make sure
you study hard,

and treat women right
and marry someone you love,

and get good jobs, and have kids
that you make me babysit every Saturday,

and then, maybe, once you're 70,

and need your diapers changed again,
then I'll die.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, I'll be 100 by then.
It won't matter.

And I'll still come back and haunt you
every day, so you better stay good.

Come on.
How about we go get some raspados?

And then TV?

Okay, but you have to promise me

that tomorrow we'll all do our best
to get back to our lives again.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Okay.

I'm so glad you're dressing up again.

I was afraid you were turning into
one of those butch lesbians.

- Mom.
- Sorry, sorry. Bisexuals.

I don't even know
how you do that, actually.

Both genders? It sounds exhausting.

I already worry when your father
is spending time with a woman.

I think I'd go crazy if I had to worry
every time he went out with a man, too.

Alex knows that she doesn't have to worry.

Ah.

So, what do you think?

It's nice. Not quite me, though.

But it's from Bergdorf's.

-What about something vintage?
-Vintage.

I remember you had some very cool dresses
way back when, right?

I do.

Hey, babe.

I got something in the mail today.

Ooh, great. Have you opened it?

A very considerate CO
already did the hard part for me.

Ah.

- What are these, fortune cookie fortunes?
- Kind of.

Minus the cookie.

"Because the fuzz on your stomach
feels like suede against my cheek."

"Because you taught me that coconut oil
makes delicious edible lube."

- What are these?
- Reasons I love you.

And they're
not all sex-related.

You just happened to pick
two of the p*rn ones.

But you can't read 'em all.
You gotta save 'em.

One for every week you got left.

Sentences to get me through my sentence?

I know it's cheesy, but...

No, it's not.
I love it, Pipes. Thank you.

I know that the last few weeks
have been kind of shitty,

and it's been hard for us to talk.

But I wanted you to know that
even if there is a day you can't call,

or a week I can't visit,
I am always thinking about you, Alex.

Me, too.

Ta-da!

- Vintage!
- Wow!

Maybe something pre-'80s?

All right.

What is going on over there?

This Cinderella has a ball to attend.

If she can find a dress in time.

Are you working one of those
character birthdays?

-No, I can't work with children, remember?
-Yeah.

This is a real ball.
Except maybe not the Cinderella kind,

because really, that was just
a glorified episode of The Bachelor.

What kind of a ball
are you talking about?

The fundraising kind.

I'm going as a tourist. Zelda snuck me in.

Oh.

That sounds fun.

Mmm-hmm.

I hope your fairy godmother
comes through with that dress.

Mmm, you and me both.

Hmm.

Both genders will love it.

An inmate from Litchfield Federal Prison

is attempting to contact you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello?

Don't tell me I'm waking your ass up.

Oh.
Hey, Taystee. No, no, I'm up.

I looked for you yesterday,
and they said

you weren't teaching no more.

Yo, if you sick,
we appreciate you staying away,

because you know how fast
everything spread around here.

I mean, this place is like preschool,
but with crabs.

No, Taystee, I'm not-- I'm not sick.
It's just, uh...

It's a long story.
Is there something I can help you with?

Actually, there is.

-Is this about your appeal?
-No, no, no. It's, um...

I got this idea,
and I know it sounds crazy, but...

-I'm listening.
-I've been doing some reading

about what happens to women
when they first get out of prison.

And basically, if they don't get some kind
of assist within the first 72 hours,

they probably gonna end up criming
and landing they asses back in here,

like I did.

So, I was thinking...

What if there was some kind of
loans program special for them

to help them get back
on they feet, right?

They could repay it when they can,

and then that money
can go to the next person.

So-- So, like, um, microloans
for newly released inmates?

They exist?

I don't think so, but they should.

Is it stupid if I ask you
to help me start it up?

No. No, it's not stupid.

Taystee, it's a fantastic idea,
but now is not a good time for me

to get involved in anything
that might, uh...

I'll tell you what.
Why don't you put together a proposal,

and I might not be able
to do anything for you,

but I know some people I can call.

Yo! That's what I'm talking about.

All right. So, first, if we just--

-Taystee?
-Yeah?

It's real good to have you back.

For years, my government
has persecuted people like me.

Like you, or you specifically?

No way this bitch
is gonna throw my case out.

Based on lack of evidence, I'm denying
your application for political asylum...

I hope she breaks for lunch
before we're called.

Conviction rates drop by 30% after lunch.

Next case, 519, Córdova, Karla.

State your true and complete name.

Karla Diana Adilene Córdova.

At your last proceeding,

your case was set over to give you time
to find an attorney.

Yet you're here today without an attorney.

I'm representing myself, Your Honor.

I'd like to file my application for relief
under the Convention Against t*rture Act.

Do you have a filled out I-589 application

and your supporting evidence
that demonstrates

you will be tortured
if returned to El Salvador today?

I do, Your Honor.

Uh, the newspaper article is about the
school where I used to teach, El Aleph.

The year I left, we had 36 deaths.

All of them boys
who refused to join gangs.

I knew them all personally.
Many of them were my students.

They were good boys,
but they had no way out.

When I became pregnant,
my husband and I knew we had to leave.

We couldn't risk our child's life--

g*ng v*olence is not grounds for CAT.
It's not even grounds for asylum.

-I'm getting to that.
-Speed it up, Ms. Córdova.

I have two boys now. American boys.

I can't take them to a country
where their choices are k*ll or be k*lled.

The Convention Against t*rture clearly
states that t*rture is intense suffering

that is inflicted in order
to obtain information or to coerce.

If I take my boys back,
they'll be coerced into joining the gangs,

or they will suffer the consequences,
the very definition by which CAT stands.

The state is not deporting
Ms. Córdova's kids.

The state is deporting Ms. Córdova.

I'm not leaving them.

Their father passed away last year.
I'm all they have.

Your Honor, Ms. Córdova
doesn't even have custody of her children.

That's only because I'm in here.

I'm seeing your children are already
placed in pre-adoptive foster care.

I'm their mother.
I will file to get them back.

Ms. Córdova,
your children will be safer here.

If anyone's made that case, it's you.

Unfortunately, what you've failed to do
is make a case for yourself.

This application doesn't even make
a prima facie case

for relief under the CAT.

I'm denying your case and I am issuing
a written order of removal.

You can't!

No.

No.

I'm so glad that you're doing
what you love.

You should be,
'cause I'm about to fix your situation.

So, let's start with
what kind of event are you going to?

The kind where
they'll pay the price of a Lexus

for a painting the size of a place mat.

Oh.

Somebody landed on their Louboutins.

Thank you.
No, I'm only going as a plus one.

-Plus one, huh?
-Mmm-hmm.

Good for you.

You know, some fools find it hard
to let go of their prison relationships.

Oh, no, not that kind of plus one.
Alex and I are still together.

We even got married.

Prison married, not married married,
but it's the same thing.

We'll do something more official
when she's out in a few years.

You know a few years
is a lot of days and nights, right?

Well, not so much when you consider
the fact that marriage is forever.

Sweetie, I know
not even you're that naive.

It's hard.

It's hard, but we're trying.

You know you don't have to
keep trying, right?

We're not in prison anymore.

We can do whatever we want,
be whatever we want.

Yeah, but you can't pretend
that prison just didn't happen.

No, but I'm not gonna spend the rest
of my life looking back on it either.

I did my time.

I'm looking forward now.
And you and your hair should do the same.

So, which one of these Beckys
do you wanna be?

Hey. Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday.
It was crazy out there.

You should've seen
how many chargers we seized.

We need to stop.

I totally agree,
or at least lay low for a while.

No, I mean all of it.

You mean us?

We are not an "us."

Wait, what about what you said
in the shower?

I'm sorry that I made you feel
like this was something it's not.

You know this is real.

Maybe it could be if things
were different, but I'm married.

To someone who can't be with you.
What kind of marriage is that?

I don't know,
but it's the marriage I'm in.

And what we're doing,
it's not fair to Piper or to you.

-Bullshit!
-Okay, keep your voice down.

You don't have to do this.

I'm sorry.

582, time to go.
Transpo is waiting outside.

Strip your bed, grab your belongings
and bring them with you to the front.

Is the kitchen crew here yet?

They'll have food for you on the plane.

Okay. Coming.

-Hey! What are you doing?
-Hey!

582, stop that!

What are you doing?

-Oh, my God! Stop!
-You're hurting her!

Back off! Everybody, shut the f*ck up!

Let go of me.

-And you, settle down!
-Stop!

-Let's go.
-Get over here! Come on!

You can't send me back there!

-Get back to work.
-Shani, calm down.

You can't take me back there!

Shani.

Get in here.

What is this one doing here?

Your cousin says he saw you
in that hotel bar the tourists go to.

It's a miracle they even let him in.

Shani!

I'm joking.

I was out with my girlfriends
and didn't talk to anyone.

And it's not even eleven yet.

He says you were kissing a woman.

It's the girl whose father runs
that private school in Al Bairat.

No, no. This is not true.

How could you use your computer
for such things, Shani?

All these pictures are with this girl.

You wrote those things, for all to see?

Daddy, I'm sorry.

You know that I could never hurt you.

But I can't say the same
for the rest of the family.

You mean, you'll let them k*ll me?

You tarnished your family's name
and our reputation.

The court hereby designates China
as the country of removal.

813, Flores, Bianca. Blanca.

You were right.

This judge won't dismiss your case.
You need to change your strategy.

You crazy? I can't change strategies now.

Tell her you want a stay of removal

to fight your original conviction
in criminal court.

- 813.
- It'll buy you some time.

To the respondent,
state your true and complete name.

Blanca Raiza Flores.

And you're a citizen
of the Dominican Republic?

Yes, Your Honor, but I would
like to request to stay, please.

Yes, everyone would like to stay.
I think that's why we're all here.

I meant I would like to request
a stay of removal.

You want a continuance?

Yes, Your Honor, to fight
my previous conviction in criminal court.

The state has not been presented
with any new evidence

that would lead us to believe that
she could appeal her original conviction.

Your Honor, I was advised to plead guilty

to helping organize a riot
in exchange for no additional time.

My attorney never informed me
that my immigration status

would be affected
or my green card revoked.

This amounts to ineffective assistance
of counsel.

Had I been informed of the consequences,

I would've assumed my risk
and fought my case in court.

I'm asking for the opportunity
to do so now.

Your Honor,
I would like to go to criminal court

and get my original conviction
turned over.

-You mean overturned?
-Exactly.

Along the border, East Berliners

are forced to evacuate their homes,

as the Communist police move to prevent...

f*ck!

What the... Where'd my class go?

Well, guess they weren't very interested
in current events in East Germany.

But you are?

All right.

-I need a favor.
-Sorry.

I'm stretched to capacity.

My sh*t pipe
won't give another millimeter.

Oh, God, no. All right, look, I...

I want you to stop Lorna's transfer
to Florida, all right?

I need you to transfer me
to her cell instead,

or her into mine.

-Yeah.
-Really?

No. Transfers are way too much paperwork.

She's lucky she's not getting sent
to a prison that still has a psych ward.

You know they found her
trying to nurse a chicken?

Yeah, I mean, she needs someone
to take care of her.

And your magic fingers are the cure, huh?

You know, I don't even know
why I'm asking you.

I guess it was on the off chance
that maybe you'd grown a spine

or some decency
since you last f*cked me over.

Well, I guess that's a negative on both.

Look, man, I f*cked up, all right?

I let down my family.

And it's too late with Red,

but maybe I still have
a chance with Lorna, all right?

So, please.

Okay, fine. Fine.

Fine. Just...

Stop with the...

Jesus Christ. It's like watching
a hot girl take a sh*t.

I mean, you know they do it,
but, you know, you never...

You never wanna see it.

Customers only.

I will customize that ferret nose
straight into that skull.

Sorry. Desperate times.

Speaking of desperate,
I hope you're not looking to buy,

'cause I sure as sh*t
ain't selling to you.

It's amazing how they didn't find
any of your sh*t in the drug bust.

I guess I live under a lucky star.

Maybe it's your chance to get clean.

Maybe I should be more like you, huh?

Can't make your own deals,
so you go chasing after bald dicks

and licking their balls
'cause they got you on a leash?

I'm alpha now, bitch.
You and Hopper better step the f*ck back.

You think I like slinging this sh*t,
you f*cking idiot?

Everything I do is so my kids could eat,
have a roof over their head,

so you don't die of a f*ckin' overdose
like every f*cking junkie ever.

The only thing you've ever done
is make us feel worthless, all right?

That's why we f*ckin' hate your ass.

At least I stick around.

Even while I'm in here, I make sure
that my kids know they still got a mother.

Not like you, just...

Not like me what, huh?

What? Say it.

Not like you, giving away your baby
like she's a f*cking gerbil

you got tired of playing with.

f*ck you, Aleida.

Oh, don't tell me
we got the language wrong again.

No, it's K'iche'.

Oh, thank God. Okay. Uh...

Please, tell Ms. Chaj her baby is fine.

Wh-- What did she say?

She says she doesn't want it.

We're going to die in here.

Let us out!

Bite it. So you don't faint.

We're here?

Everybody, shut up!
Could be the cops.

What's up?

Don't you want some sun?
Vitamin D. It'll do you good.

Get out!

Welcome to the home stretch.
From here you can walk to the river.

Very exciting, no?

Whoa, slow down.

Nobody walks for free.

You should learn this now
before you get to the States.

Everything costs.

We already paid. Ask him!

If you want to pass by our territory,
tolls are extra.

We have no more money.

Then call your family in the States
and have them transfer it to my account.

You need a phone?

I'll add the call fee to your total.

We don't have family there.

We also take
other forms of payment.

Hey.

I need you to sign off
on a transpo to the women's clinic.

Another yeast outbreak?

These women really need
to lay off the sugar.

It's for Chaj.

The doctor said she and the baby are fine.

First of all, it's not a baby.
It's a fetus.

She was trying to induce a miscarriage.

Jesus Christ, is there no respect
for human life around here?

The only transportation I got for her

is the one that takes her back
to where she came from.

This woman was r*ped
while trying to come into this country.

I don't try to change your policies,
Ms. Figueroa.

Don't try to change mine.

It's not a matter of policy.
It's a matter of law.

Then maybe it's time you realize
we go by different laws around here.

Can someone please take the baby outside
until it's her turn?

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

My name is Judge Christine Holister,

and we're sitting in the immigration court
in Litchfield, New York.

These are removal proceedings for siblings
Alma and Santiago Casías.

Let the record show
the respondents are present in court,

but without an attorney.

Do you understand
what these proceedings are about?

Miss Casías, do you and your brother
have a lawyer?

-Do you know what a lawyer is?
-No.

Well, do you understand
that we are here to determine

whether or not you two can remain
in the United States?

Can I use the bathroom?

I thought this courtroom
was for adult hearings.

We have the juvenile docket on Fridays.

Illegal's an illegal,
even if they're mini.

And a piece of sh*t is a piece of sh*t,
even if he's grown.

She said "sh*t."

Hey!

Whoa.

So, love letters?
That's the big f*ckin' secret?

-Tell Ruiz to shut the f*ck up.
-Oh, my God.

Both of you shut the f*ck up.

Jesus. What the hell happened
between you two, anyways?

What happened is she's a c**t.

Gloria, I know that I f*cked up,

and I accept full responsibility
for my actions.

I know forgiveness
is going to take a long time...

or it might not even never come.

But I hope that one day
we can at least have a civil conversation.

So...

Oh, now you tell me how
that makes you feel and sh*t.

You wanna know how I feel?

I feel like you're a ghetto Barbie
from the 99¢ store.

We got Pregnant Maria, Gangbanger Maria,

Jesus-Saves Maria,
Whatever-Weird-Cult-This-Is Maria.

They're so cheap
that if you don't like one,

you could just throw it away
and then get one next week.

Well, at least
I'm trying to evolve, all right?

And I own up to the sh*t I do,
not like you. Mother Superior, right?

You can't even admit
that you got me ten years

by lying through your f*cking teeth,
can you?

sh*t. That happened?

Guess who's back?

Better late than never.
At least they can help with the cleanup.

Flores? sh*t.

It's like a f*cking traitor convention
up in here.

What is Ruiz doing here?

Oh, my God. So many opportunities
to continue my work.

Ay, dios mío. This is like a telenovela.

I feel like one of you
is about to go into a coma.

Hey, what happened at the hearings?

They're giving me time
to reopen my criminal case.

It's good, 'cause it gives me a chance
to fight this...

thanks to Karla and you guys.

Ay, nena, thank God.

What about you?

sh*t. I'm so sorry.

All right, all right,
back to work. Karla, come with me.

I think you should let your boys know.

- Thank you.
- Just hurry up.

Hello?

Hello? I'm Abel and Benji's mom.

Please don't hang up.
I won't cause any trouble.

I just want to know how they are.

They're fine.
They talk about you a lot.

Please.

Would you let me talk to them
for a moment?

You're on speaker.

Mama?

- Mijo!
- Where are you?

Mama, they took our cat
and my Pokémon cards.

When are you coming back?

I'm working real hard
on getting back to you, okay?

I'm going to have to be away
for a little while,

but I'm coming back.

But when?

I don't know yet, but soon.

You have to know
that no matter what happens,

no matter what anyone tells you,

I will not stop
until we're together again.

Will you be here for my birthday?

If I'm not, it just means
that I'm still on my way, okay?

But it might take me a little while.

So, until then, you two need
to take care of each other.

Remind each other to drink water
and zip up your jackets.

And you know how when you were little

and you'd get real angry or sad,

we used to talk about using your words.

Well, you're gonna have to do that.

You're gonna have to tell people
what you need.

If there's something
you don't understand or if...

something hurts...

or if someone hurts you...

you're gonna need
to speak up for yourselves,

and for each other,
because I won't be there to do it for you.

I love you both more than anything.

Never forget how much I love you.

Could you take one with my camera?

Thank you.

Piper.

-Hi.
-Hi. Are you kidding me?

You're going to be such a treat
to look at all evening.

You look beautiful.

I can't believe that this is your life.

Hardly. It's fun to play dress-up
every now and then.

Come. Let me show you around,
introduce you to my people.

Guys, this is Piper.

Piper, this is Andy,

-our in-house design guru.
-Hello.

And this is Luz,
our incredible photographer.

-Zelda, excuse me.
-I'll be right back, okay?

So, you're the one
Zelda won't shut up about.

Oh, no, no, no. I doubt it.

- What?
- Andy, not cool.

So, um, Piper, what do you do?

I'm in accounting.

But I'm thinking of transitioning
into something more meaningful.

Maybe in the nonprofit sector.

I love what Zelda does, what you two do.

Send me your resume
and what you're interested in.

I always have friends looking for people.

- Wow. Really? Thanks.
- Yeah.

-I'll take you up on that.
-Great.

Although, full disclosure, I've done time.

In prison.

As an inmate. So, it might not be easy.

Oh. Um... That's...

So, uh, where'd they send you?

Litchfield.
It's a federal penitentiary upstate.

Oh, I read about that place on the back
cover of this book that just came out.

The one by that woman who baked
cranberry bread with 50 Cent?

Judy King wrote a memoir?

Racy for an old swan.

I hope my stamina holds up half as well.

Evening, everyone.

Walking in, you probably noticed
dozens of candles lighting your way.

Each one of those candles
represents a Syrian child

the Karam Foundation has helped this year.

Working alongside Lina and her team
has taught me that no matter the setbacks,

we must pick ourselves up
and move forward.

We must continue
to find hope despite despair.

The Karam Foundation
doesn't just rebuild schools,

it builds futures.

The Karam homes are environments
that encourage invention and innovation,

a sense of adventure and entrepreneurship.

Hey, uh, thank you for seeing me so late.

-Of course. Are you feeling okay?
-Sorry, it's been, uh, a long day.

A woman at the detention center I work in,

I found out her pregnancy
is a result of r*pe.

That is awful.

She wants an abortion,
but ICE won't let her have one.

They care about the baby so much.

They want her to keep it,
at least until they deport her

and it's not their problem anymore.

I'm so sorry.

What am I doing, bringing a kid
into a world that's so...

f*cking f*cked?

What do you mean?

I...

I don't want a baby.

Hey, Natalie, it's okay.

It's okay.

It's a big decision.

Why don't you sleep on it, talk to Joe?

Your IVF isn't until Friday.

You have plenty of time
to change your mind.

Actually, I don't.

-I'm nine weeks along.
-Natalie--

It's a Christmas miracle,

except it's not Christmas
and I don't want a miracle.

I know it is a lot to ask,
but I am asking.

Please.

It's a pity you want an abortion,
given how much you've spent on IVF.

What in Bob's name
could be taking so long?

My shift was over 15 minutes ago.

I got cheeseburger macaroni
waitin' for me.

I'll put everything away.
We'll finish the rest tomorrow.

What the...

- Hello?
- Hello? Is my mom there?

What is your mother's name?

Whose phone is this?

How did you get the owner of De Beers
to whip and nae nae?

It's what I do, baby.

And you do it so well.

Zelda, that was so much fun.

Thank you so much.

So, are you gonna invite me in,

so I can finally meet that lizard
that lives in your closet?

Is that a euphemism?

Do you want it to be?

Zelda, I do.

But I can't.

I'm sorry.

You do realize your inner conflict
only makes me like you more, right?

Jesus!

What are you doing here?

Does Alex know about her?

What are you talking about?

She thinks you're waiting for her,
like a good little wife.

What I'm doing and what Alex is doing
is none of your business.

Except it is.

If you don't get out of here right now,
I'm gonna call the police.

She's ready to move on, you know.

With me.

Except she's scared of hurting you.

Meanwhile, you're out here,
livin' the life.

You're f*cking crazy.

How do you know where I live?

Who do you think delivered
the stupid parrot shirt Alex sent you?

You built a new life
for yourself, Chapman.

You should let Alex do the same.

What's gonna happen to us?

That's for the warden to decide.

Your attorney's comin' tomorrow.

You, uh... You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I thought marriage
was supposed to last forever.

We was the perfect family.
How can he take my baby away?

You still have family, okay?

We're gonna get through this, okay?
There's, uh...

There's some things
that we need to talk about first.

This is from Shani.

I'm sorry.

What is it, honey?

What is it? Hey.

So f*cked up.

It's okay.

- What's wrong with her?
- Got feisty. Had to sedate her.

Might wanna dose her again in a few.
It's gonna be a long flight.

Move in. Come on.

Go in. Grab a bed.

Pick one. Any one that's available.