03x07 - Abra-Catastrophe! Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality, they are his... ♪

♪ Odd parents, fairly odd parents ♪

♪ Wands and wings!

♪ Floaty crowny things!

♪ Odd parents, fairly odd parents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Odd parents, fairly odd parents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you're the kid with ♪

♪ Fairly odd parents!

Yeah, right!

Captioning made possible by mtv networks

[Snoring]

No! No! I'll never tell you my secret!

Tell me your secret, timmy turner!

I'll never tell you my secret!

Voice: stop!

Meesa not think you two should be a-fighting.

[Speaking gibberish]

Aah!

Timmy, join me. The bad side is stronger.

I'll never join you!

But on the bad side, you get to wear black.

And look at this cape. Girls dig the cape!

I don't care what girls dig! I'm !

Hey! I've only got two of those!

It's ok. In the end, you get another one,

A really cool robot one.

How do you know all this?

Because I am your father...

Your godfather!

Ha ha! Gimme !

Cosmo, you idiot!

Aah!

Awesome!

I'm the amazingly unzooable arachnid kid!

This is more like it!

Oh, no! My archenemy!

Tell me your secret, timmy turner! Ha ha ha!

Meesa say thank you.

Meesa no fall and go boo-boo!

It's time for the truth, timmy!

Aah!

[Rumbling]

Mustn't move. Mustn't make a sound.

Hi, timmy! Got your hand.

[Roar]

Aah! Aah!

Tell me your secret, timmy!

I'll never tell!

Whoo, look at the time. Heh heh!

Whew! At least I didn't--

Get eaten!

Cosmo! Wanda! Where are you?

We're right here, timmy!

Aah! I wish we were back in my own room!

Why? It's so nice and dank in here.

Aah! Aah!

Huh?

Happy fairy-versary, timmy!

Wow! It's every magical being I've ever met!

They're here for the party!

That's why we kept you occupied

With non-copyright- infringing movie parodies,

To distract you so we could round them all up!

So you guys...lied to me?

Oh, relax, timmy. It's a party!

Everybody's here!

Yes, puny turner.

Even i, jorgen von strangle,

Toughest fairy in the universe, who fears nothing,

Cannot help but be happy for--aah!

Oh!

A...a...a deadly butterfly net!

I'm as frightened as a little kitten!

Aah! Mommy!

[Squeaking]

What's up with him?

Butterfly nets are one of the few things in the universe

That fairy magic has no effect on!

Why? Hey, if it floats and has wings,

A butterfly net can catch it.

Besides, look at it!

It's hideous!

Ah, net, shmet!

Let's get this party started!

[Cheering]

Man: excellent!

I may have spent every penny of my hard-earned teacher's salary

On this high-tech fairy detection van,

But it shall all be worth it

Once I finally capture...

A fairy godparent!

My sensors detect a high concentration of magic

Located in this neighborhood,

In the home of...timmy turner!

I knew it!

Now to get a closer look.

Activate stealth mode!

And now for some high-tech stealth music!

[Span][pop goes the weasel[/span]plays]

Heh heh heh heh!

Timmy: this is great! This is unbelievable!

This is...confusing. What the heck is a fairy-versary?

It was exactly one year ago that we became your fairy godparents!

Is that a big deal or something?

By this time,

Most of you squirts end up

Getting your fairy godparents taken away!

Why?

Jorgen: usually by now, a child has done something

To reveal the existence of their fairies.

Hey, are those fairy godparents?

They sure are!

Jorgen: ...and made them go away forever!

Loser!

Fairy: but [span]you[/span]are that rare kid

Who managed not to blow it

For straight days!

All: congratulations, timmy!

Cool! I mean, crud!

My parents are home, and my room is filled with loud magic people!

Oh, relax, timmy.

We've prepared for everything.

Which means, wanda prepared for everything!

I zapped your doorknob,

So anyone who touches it will instantly forget what they were doing!

Oh, timmy!

What's that loud, almost magical racket

I hear coming from your room...

...mate! I had one in college. I should call him!

I call it the "forget-me-knob."

Come on, timmy, open your presents!

And now, here to help you open your presents

Is our musical entertainment,

Mr. Fairy cowlick, jr.!

♪ Are there times in the day when you wish that you could ♪

♪ Wave a big magic wand and make everything good? ♪

♪ To come out on top just like any kid would ♪

♪ Does this sound appealing to you? ♪

Duh!

♪ Then just listen up good 'cause it isn't a lie ♪

♪ When you hear what's in store, then you'll ask yourself why ♪

♪ We've all gathered here--

Hey, did somebody die? No!

♪ But here's what you should be hip to... ♪

[Upbeat music]

♪ People wish for money

♪ People wish for fame

♪ People wish for power

♪ But it always ends the same

With pain!

♪ We've got the best intentions ♪

Yeah! ♪ What's one cat to do? ♪

I don't know!

♪ So tell me what you'd wish for ♪

♪ If your wish came true

♪ We're having a party

♪ A really big party

Just for me?

♪ Yeah, kid, just for you!

♪ We brought gifts ♪ we brought pals

♪ I brought guys ♪ I brought gals

But just what the heck did I do?

You brought guys?

♪ You could have let your secret out ♪

♪ And blown it through and through ♪

♪ But you're the kid that kept it hid ♪

♪ So it's you and only you

♪ Who would be trusted with this magic ♪

♪ That's too good to be true

♪ You'll get what you wish for when your wish comes true ♪

♪ I might want to be the president ♪

Cool!

♪ Or destroy kalamazoo

♪ Just think, believe, and you'll receive ♪

♪ Your wish...

♪ You really gotta want it

♪ Come...

♪ You gotta make that wish come true ♪

♪ True!

Seriously, how many guys?

Awesome gifts, you guys!

Exploding easter eggs, magic disguise glasses,

Magic floss from the tooth fairy,

Cupid's bow and arrow, a magic jet pack,

And a magic mirror,

All wrapped up in santa's magic bag!

Oh, hang on, timmy! There's one more gift!

And it's the best one!

Wow! A...

Muffin?

Actually, puny earth boy,

It is your special fairy-versary muffin!

Whoever eats the muffin gets one rule-free wish!

A rule-free wish?

I can wish for anything I want?

Love, money, anything?

You just can't wish for a better-tasting muffin.

And only children who have lasted an entire year

Can be trusted with that kind of gift,

So don't goof it up!

Cool! This thing is amazing!

But I gotta be careful with it.

I can only imagine what would happen if it fell into the wrong hands.

Man: whatever that thing is,

I can't want to get my hands on it!

According to my sensors,

There's a massive muffin-shaped source of fairy energy

In timmy turner's house!

And where there is fairy energy,

There are bound to be...

Fairy godparents!

Once I capture a fairy using this special butterfly net,

I, mr. Crocker, will go from being

A second-rate, constantly mocked elementary school teacher

To a first-class, not constantly mocked,

Supreme magical ruler of the universe!

New world order!

New world...order?

Can I have a coconut swirly?

Can I have a chocolate whiz pie?

And I want a strawberry chunky!

Gah! Get away from me!

I don't know what I did to deserve

Godparents as great as you guys!

Well, timmy, according to the rules,

A child only gets assigned godparents if they're truly in need of help.

And boy, did you ever need our help!

I did?

Well, it all started two years ago,

When you were years old.

Ooh, hey! I've seen this one. It's a classic!

Man: that's it...

That's it!

Every precious moment saved forever!

They grow up so fast!

Honey, I know we value our son more than our relationship--

You bet!

But could we leave the house some night like adults

And leave timmy with a baby-sitter?

Absolutely...

Not!

I've been meticulously documenting every precious moment

Of timmy's life on video since he was born,

And I don't intend to miss one precious second!

I refuse to share his childhood with a baby-sitter.

I barely want to share it with you!

But we haven't left the house in years!

All right, precious gift, eat your spinach.

But, mommy, I already ate so much of your

Delicious squash, beans, and turnips,

My tummy is full.

May I please save the spinach for later?

I'm sorry, son, but I don't have any footage

Of you eating spinach!

Besides, there are millions of children around the world

Who would be very grateful

For a delicious, home-cooked dinner like this.

[Roar]

That's a great idea!

We'll travel to parts unknown,

Deliver this food to those children,

And videotape them eating it!

Bye, precious gift!

Mom? Dad?

Oh, no! They've left me...

To go to parts unknown...

Forever!

Wah hah hah hah!

Ha! Timmy believed our first little white lie!

And I got it all on tape!

Wah hah hah hah!

I'm alone, but I'm a precious gift from above!

I can't be left alone!

I'd better call this baby-sitter.

Yes!

What?

No!

Woman: vicky's precious gift from above baby-sitting service!

Hi, I'm timmy turner, and--

Wouldn't eat your dinner? No.

Parents gone to parts unknown?

Yes!

Be right there!

Son, i--

You're back from parts unknown!

[Doorbell]

Hello, mr. And mrs.-- Turner!

I'm vicky, the baby-sitter!

Anybody else notice the lightning?

My, my!

What a precious little gift from above you have here!

Yes, you are! Yes, you are!

I can't wait to spend time

Protecting and enriching your young child...

So you can have the freedom to go out into the world

And be the adults you've always wanted to be!

For the last years!

But, honey, I don't want to share

My son's childhood with anyone!

I'll videotape whatever you miss

And edit it all together so it's on one convenient tape.

Well, when you put it like that, we're out of here!

I'll get our coats.

Forget it. At the speed we'll be having fun,

The friction will keep us warm!

Mmm! Sonic boom. Not bad.

Hi, vicky. I'm--

Go to bed!

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Ahh! My enrichment!

Ahh! My childhood!

Cosmo: and that's when your life went straight down the pooper!

Wanda: for the next year, vicky tortured you every day of your life,

And you were so miserable!

Man, that's dumb!

Both: hey, timmy!

I'm cosmo!

And I'm wanda!

Both: and we're...

Your fairy godparents!

And that's how we got assigned to be your fairy godparents!

They tricked me with a lie?

Yeah, and they got it on tape!

Forever!

Ooh, cartoons!

That's why I'm stuck with the worst,

Most evil baby-sitter on the planet--

A lie?!

Well, it was just a little white lie, timmy.

Parents do it all the time.

Well, that stinks.

Mom: timmy! Time for school!

How do I know [span] that's[/span]the truth?

Man, I wish they didn't lie to me.

Oh, uh, did we just make it

So timmy's parents couldn't lie to him?

Yup!

You've gained weight.

You know, we can still lie to each other.

Yeah, I know!

Is something wrong, timmy?

Have you guys ever lied to me?

Of course we have!

Could you excuse us for a moment?

Honey, I thought we agreed

That if timmy ever asked us if we lied to him,

We'd lie to him and say we never lied to him!

I'm sorry, but it's like the truth just exploded out of me!

Ok, let me handle this.

I'm an unbreakable rock of falsehood!

Ok, timmy, ask me anything.

Ok. When do you lie to me?

All the time!

In fact, you'd be hard-pressed to find

A time we weren't lying to you!

Don't move!

Doesn't it bother you that you lie to your only son?

Heck, no! It makes everything easier!

Uhh...talk to your goldfish.

Guys, when I said I wish they didn't lie to me,

Did you make it so my parents couldn't lie to me?

We had to, timmy. We're your fairy godparents!

When you say, "I wish," we grant!

Timmy, we know you're upset,

But you have to understand that

Sometimes parents have very good reasons

For telling little white lies.

[Honk honk]

But there's the bus, and we've never been more relieved

In our lives, and that's the truth!

Here's your fish, here's your lunch,

Here's your sparkling muffin!

Bye!

We'd better check the videotapes and see

What else we've lied to him about!

I'll make some snacks.

The magic--it's moving!

I must follow it!

All: we want ice cream!

Have to get these kids out of my way!

All: aah! Spinach!

Excellent!

Men: ahoy!

Spinach!

Aah!

Aw, timmy! Don't take it so hard!

Maybe a nice, long, hard day of school

Will make it all better.

Oh, boy. School!

Can't wait to sit down in front of an adult

And get lied to all day.

Aw, come on, timmy!

Not all adults are liars!

Mom, dad, crocker...

Well, just the ones you know.

Maybe you're some kind of liar magnet.

Crocker: ooh! My instruments indicate

That the concentration of magical energy is dead ahead!

Aha!

Hey!

Bippy, stop rolling around in the mud.

Eeh eeh eeh!

Ouch!

Crocker!

Hi, a.j.! Hi, bippy!

Aw! Dropped a muffin.

Oh, no!

Oh! That's the worst muffin I've ever tasted.

I sure wish I had some mouthwash.

That's convenient.

And leaves me kissing-fresh.

[Kissing sounds]

[Gargling]

Did he just magically obtain some mouthwash?

Well, remember, if you eat the muffin,

You get a rule-free wish!

You mean the muffin grants adults wishes, too?

The muffin isn't picky, timmy,

Nor is it tasty,

But it is powerful. All hail the muffin!

I gotta get that muffin back!

[School bell rings]

Aah!

[Grunting]

How big is this muffin-shaped source of magic anyway?

Crocker! What's the meaning of this fork in my fanny?

Um...it's cupid's fork...of love! I love you!

Oh! Well, this is so sudden,

And...unwanted.

[Bell rings]

Oops, gotta teach! I'll call you!

Aah!

Mom: maybe timmy's right.

Maybe we do fudge the truth too much.

Now, honey, I'm sure he's overreacting.

Let's just pop in a home video

And see how long it takes for us to catch ourselves

In a little white lie.

You're right. I bet there's not a single lie

Recorded on any of these tapes!

Both: the stork!

Wow! That was quick!

Students, this is a math problem!

But in a world where magic and fairies exist,

Who cares?

Math means nothing!

A fairy can make + = fish!

You know, he's right!

Stare at the board until the lunch bell rings.

This is driving me nuts! I shouldn't be sitting here.

I need to find that muffin!

Well, timmy, if you want your muffin back,

Why don't you just wish for it back?

Hey, that's a great idea, cosmo!

I wish I had the muffin back!

We can't do that! You know as well as I do,

That muffin's magic is more powerful than ours!

Well, duh! I was just wondering why he hadn't asked.

Mmm!

[Bell rings]

Ugh!

What the heck?

Going somewhere, turner?

Ah, let me answer that for you:

No!

Why did you chain me to my desk?

So you won't get in my way, of course!

I need to keep you here

So I can find your muffin-shaped source of magical energy

Before you do--

And prove once and for all the existence of...

Fairy godparents!

I wish I was free!

I gotta get to the cafeteria and find that magic muffin

Before crocker does!

But that shouldn't be any problem.

How hard can it be to find one stinking muffin?

All right! It's muffin monday!

All: yay!

I thought it was monkey monday.

Chester: aww, great!

What am I supposed to do with this?

Oh, no!

Crocker's gonna get the muffin first!

[Beeping]

Muffin! Muffin! Muffin!

Muffin, muffin, how's about a muffin?

Muffin! Muffin! Muffin!

My goodness! This muffin!

It sparkles like the morning dew on the back of the hooded cobra!

Aha! Fairy pastry!

Oh, no! Crocker's gonna get the muffin first!

Unless...

Food fight!

Works for me!

Whoo-hoo!

[Crash]

[All cheering]

It is a fight of food!

No!

Yes!

Come on, bippy. Join the party!

No, no, no!

No, no, no!

I need to catch that muffin!

Guys, give me a hand!

Blueberry.

Cranberry.

Banana nut.

Oat.

Wheat.

Poppy seed!

Ooh! Yuck!

Ooh! Ooh!

All: oh, no!

He's making a wish!